September 12, 2025 • 33 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re talking all about parenting as we dive into your questions! We kick things off with our question of the day: When do you stop parenting your kids, if ever? Kathy and Susan get into what it’s like to parent adult children and when the tides start to turn. Then, we jump into your questions! From elderly parents who refuse to accept care to in-laws who are way too close for comfort and everything in between, you asked and we’re answering! We also launch into a tough conversation: How do you handle it when your kids take on the role of parents? Plus, we end with a round of Icky or Picky (or ew!). Tune in now to hear all this and more and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank
you so much for joining us again this week, and
we are so excited to be back. Hey, Kathy, you're
looking good.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Thanks, Susan, so are you. How are you doing today? Good?
Good good good good good. Okay, Well, if you haven't
done it yet, I know you have, Susan, but the
rest of you, if you haven't done it, now is
the time to follow our podcast so you never miss
an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the
podcast app and hit the follow button.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
And it's super important that you follow the podcast so
you get notified every time there's a new episode and
you don't want to miss it. Also, while you're there,
write us a review. You know, Kathy, I've been receiving
emails about our podcast. I love it, but I just
wish they'd write in so we can say it.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
On their Okay, folks, right in and make sure to
check out all of our past episodes. We have been
having a blast talking to your faves and answering all
your questions, so keep them coming at Bachelor nation dot
com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Do you memorize that one cat? Don't we say that
a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I got it all right.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Now let's get started with our favorite part, the question
of the day. All right, when do you stop parenting
your kids?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Or do you ever?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
For example, does parenting ever really end or does it
just change over time?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
What do you think? Well, I really don't have time
to do this podcast today because I have to go
take care of my adult children. I don't think you
ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little
bit different. I'm more of when my kids come to
me as an advisor giving them my thoughts. I really
(01:51):
try so hard not to interject what I think unless
I'm asked. You know, don't say anything unless you're asked.
What about you?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I have changed one hundred thousand percent have changed because
I'll bite my tongue when they say, you know you should.
I thought you're raising your family. You do it your way, Kathy,
I gotta tell you, I don't agree a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Oh sweety, you and I share my two year old granddaughter.
They're raising her to be a terrorist. That's because she's two,
that's all. I hope to God you're right. I will
say I have matured as a parent. I do not
call my children every night and tell them to brush
their teeth.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
O God, no, no, or tell them how to keep
their homes.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Or clean their rooms or I mean, I don't know.
I was the kind of parent that I was. I
don't want to call myself a helicopter mom, but I
had and I bet you were the same. I had
certain rules, like their rooms had to be cleaned, they
had to do their homework, they had to put their
clothes away, and so that was parenting when they were younger.
(02:58):
Now you know, little it's little problems, big kids, big problems. Right,
So when my kids come to me now, it's it's
usually a bigger sort of life issue. Does that make sense? Yes,
it is.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And the only thing I might still give some advice
is financial advice. I want to teach them what I
missed and how important it is to put money away
and how you know, like my son and my one
son and my daughter in law. God forbid, I hate
even saying this out that when they lost their child,
it was almost six years ago, but they had a
(03:33):
lawsuit that was settled and they're living very comfortably. They
decided not to move and they put so much money
in their house. It looks absolutely beautiful. But and I go, Chris,
I'm saying half of that should have been a vested mom.
I have X amount of dollars, I said, no, no, no, no,
With what you had, you better put a lot more.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
They got new cars, and I get it, but I
mean it's really I think I think raising kids like,
did you give your kids an allowance? Because when I
parented my kids, they got I think they started when
they were maybe nine or ten, and I gave them
their age in money, so ten they got ten dollars
(04:17):
a week. Which well, but here's the thing. If they
wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like,
they had to learn to budget. And I made them.
You know, back in those days we took them to
church every Sunday, they had to put money in their
money in the collection. Right, that's good. Well, and here
I say, colleg I just wanted them. But I will
(04:39):
tell you my kids are not. I mean, they all
work hard, but I think money is probably as you
and I've talked, money can be the root of all evil.
Oh wait, that's another show. But money is tough, I mean,
and I think our kids have a hard time learning
those lessons. So parenting like that, I don't think of
(05:00):
it as parenting. I think of it more like were
their friends were more than their friends. But we're not
parenting in the traditional sense of the word. You know,
telling them what to do and they have to work right.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
When they come to us.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I always do that, but you.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Can't tell them what to do now they're adults. I
cannot believe my babies. Kathy turned thirty seven and my
daughter next month in ten days or.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
She's going to be forty years old. How is that
even possible? I don't know. My oldest just turned last week,
turned forty four. So you know, crimea Riverses and I got,
I got, I can't. I mean I remember being that age.
But whatever. You know what I'm afraid of, it's not
part of the question of the day, but what the heck.
You know what I'm worried about is when we get old,
(05:52):
which I'm never getting old. Let's just start there. But
you know, when the tables sort of flip and our
kids sort of start paring want to do like mom,
Like my kids already saying, Mom, don't get on that ladder.
You know you don't need to break another leg. I mean,
that's gonna happen one of these days where I.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Think it's already begun. That Christ said a couple of
things to me, Mom, you should.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Go whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not there yet. Well that's
the problem, since and you and I are never going
to be there. You and I we're going to move
to some great place and raise hell wherever we are,
they're going to go. I don't care. I'm done eighty eight.
I'm going to raise l I don't care. That's about living.
You know, that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And you're right our parent. And even with my grandchildren, yeah,
I don't reprimand them as often as I did my
own children. And I think that's a given because we're grandmoms.
But I will tell them what's not, what's wrong.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, you don't do that. Well, my children are perfect.
I don't have to tell them. I'll let this slide,
all right. And I make them money. You know you
need the money? Yes, And Stella give her money and
she goes, look, mommy, what is Stella? She's what you're
gonna do with money? Putting a bank account for Susan, putting.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And then my older ones, my teenage was like, Mimi,
can I have a twenty. Back in my day, it
was a dollar was a lot fifty cents.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
The tooth fairy. Now yeah, I mean you can buy
a car with what the tooth fairy needs for a bowler.
All right, let's move into our advice portion of the day.
I'm gonna be the first one. Okay, okay, all right,
here we go. This one is from Brianna. She's forty
two from Seattle. Hi, golden ladies. I've been a loyal
(07:42):
listener since the very beginning, and now I find myself
needing some of your wisdom. Well, thanks for listening, Brianna. Okay,
I'm struggling with my relationship with my mother in law. Oh,
here we go. To put it simply, she just doesn't
like me no matter what I do. It feels like
she's always searching for something to hold against me. While
(08:05):
this tension hasn't damaged my marriage, thankfully, my partner and
I are solid, it is starting to wear me down
right now. She's even refusing to speak to my spouse,
and I can't help but feel responsible, even though we
both know the issues aren't really about me. We've tried
to work on this through therapy, but she refuses to participate,
(08:27):
take accountability, or get help for her part in the
dynamic that leaves us feeling stuck. We have a family
get together and we're in this for the long haul.
But so is she. My husband loves his mom and
wants a relationship with her. I'm at a loss for
how to handle the situation in a way that preserves
my sanity and keeps the peace. How can we move
(08:49):
forward when the dynamic feels this toxic and unfixable? Appreciate
your help and love you too. Wow. Let me just
tell you. I've never reme met Brianna, but since I
lived Brihanna's life, let me tell you what's going on.
Everything is a problem, and everything is Brianna's problem. The
(09:11):
food's cooked wrong, their vacations are in the wrong place,
They don't spend enough time with their mother in law.
She stole her mother in law's son. I mean, how
long do you want me to go on?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
It?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Literally is Brianna can do nothing right. That's what the
deal is. And there's some sort of Oedipus complex going
on here where you know, the mom just can't let
oversun So, what's your advice to her? Susan?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know, Kathy, I couldn't help but think it's you
every time. But as you said, it could be anything
she does. Maybe she just doesn't care for her. And
that brings up what we talked about a few weeks ago.
You try only for so long for your family's sake,
for your husband's sake, And then if it were me,
(09:58):
I would get to the point, well, well, you know
you can't respect me. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Here's the thing. You don't want it to become a
wedge between you and your spouse, right or your partner
or whoever. You don't. But here's the thing. If if
the mom, and it's usually the mom, has a jealousy,
you know, you don't know what's going on in her life.
Maybe her marriage isn't great, maybe she doesn't maybe she
(10:25):
feels like you should move closer to her. You know,
you don't know what's going through her head. But what
you do know and the fact is she doesn't like you.
And I knew my mother in law she would. She would,
she would vacillate, she would say, oh, no, I really
like you, but only when my husband would go to
her faith, well yes, and when he said, mom, I'll
(10:47):
never forget Susan. They my mother in law actually like
me a little bit better off and on than my
father in law. But again my father in law, they
just they grew up very different to different culture. They
grew up in farm towns. I grew up. Ask you
a question, did you try in the beginning, like I did?
(11:08):
You have no idea how much I did for my
mother in law really, and when my father in law died,
I did even work. But here's what I will say.
My husband said to his mother and his father one
time when I got really upset because I had it,
you know, up to here, and Darryl said, Mom, Dad,
(11:29):
we've been married whatever it was at the time, we've
been married thirty five years. Do you think it stood
the test of time. Can you get on board? Well,
of course they never could. So my advice to Brianna
is she may or may not get on board, but
a don't let it come between you and your husband.
Be polite when you see her. You know, if you're
(11:52):
at a birthday party, if your kids, it's your child's
birthday party, for example, tell her how glad you are
to see her. You know that it's going to make
your child because after a while you're not going to
get no, no, no. But if you say, look, we're so
glad you're here for Johnny's birthday, Yeah, thank you for coming. God,
thank you for coming. And all you can do is
be polite, because being polite never goes out of style.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I want to go off course just for a second.
Did you happen to watch The Hunting Wives?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
No, I don't watch it.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You talk about a mother in law atached to her
son like it was eery.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But that's the point. This is not Brionna. I hate
to say this to you. You are not alone in this.
I mean, this is a very common issue. Uh, it
just is, and I don't The only advice I can
give you is be kind to her. Ultimately your right, Susan,
(12:45):
I did give up, but but I gave up the
last two years of her life. I mean, I just
pray for patience for her. You know, I think that
the therapy, by the way, is a good idea. And
even if she refuses to go to therapy, Brianna, you
go go with your partner because for your relationship, because
(13:09):
at the end of the day, your child, your relationship
with your spouse or partner is the most important.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
One and it's her family. Now you know, right, that's
his family, but it's her family.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's hurtful, though, it's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh gosh, I know, and you know what, Thank you
Brianna for writing into us.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
And we're really curious.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
If you get a milestone and succeed, please tell us
that we could tell the world.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yes, let us know, let us know, and you know,
just keep trying to do those family events as much
as you can. And by the way, if none of
that works, take a swig of vodka before she comes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Okay, let's move on. This one is from Melissa and
she is sixty four years young from Oxner. Hi, Kathy,
and Susan. I have a question for you. I first
noticed this in my thirties and now again in my sixties.
What do we do when the roles reverse and we
(14:05):
find ourselves parenting our parents?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, I'm in my sixties and my dad is in
his nineties.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
God bless him. Is he single?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
He's had several falls recently, but he refuses to use
a walker and absolutely won't consider moving into an independent
living facility, even though it would give him community care
and resources. I've flown across the country multiple times to
visit facilities with him, and they're truly wonderful, but he
(14:37):
won't budge. It feels like I'm dealing with a defiant,
stubborn toddler, and I'm the one who has to make
the adult decisions. I'm constantly worried about him, and I
don't know how to convince him that it is time.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
How do you.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Navigate this stage of life with love without losing your sanity?
I adore you both, and I love podcast Melissa.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Thank you all. Can I just pick it? I can
give this answer. She's not gonna like it, Melissa, but
I dealt with this with my stepmom, who died a
few years ago at ninety six. I feel your pain.
But here's the simple answer, Melissa. Unless you have him
declared incompetent, which he doesn't sound like he is, there's
(15:23):
nothing you can do but do what you're doing, because
he has the right to wither away fall every day
unless unless he breaks a bone and a doctor says
you cannot go home unless you have twenty four hour care,
then you're going to get your wish and he'll be
in long term care. But other than that, Unfortunately, we
(15:46):
as senior citizens, have the right to make our own choices.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yes, and I couldn't agree with you more And unfortunately,
and this might sound harsh, but if that's the way
he chooses to go out, let it.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Let it be.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, you know, you cannot control that. But I get
what she's saying. How we were parents and that we're parenting.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Are That's what I said earlier, right, we were talking
about then the question of the day. It's so hard
and Melissa to watch a vibrant person, your dad, who
you know, carried you around, put you on his shoulders,
and now is having trouble standing. I don't mean to
sound insensitive. It's awful, but the fact as we get older.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, and my kids we had a conversation the other
day on their birthday dinner. They said, listen, don't put
me away. There'll be no inheritance left. That costs a
lot of money. Just give me a cocktail, make.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Me go to sleep, mom, Mom, we'll go to jail.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I was like, no, seriously, I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
That's not my plan.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Some people plan for that. What she's talking about is
not an old folks home, it's independent living. It's just
another place that you can still be you and do
what you want. You could still have a car. You know,
he's not letting go of his home, so you know.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
What, I don't. I have to be honest, Susan. I've
already told my kids there's going to be one dollar
and ninety six cents left checking no, because I'm not
going to go in. And my kids are always joking saying, oh,
come on, mom, you'll be the life of the party.
You'll be You'll be decorating for all the parties, You'll
be doing the dancing. I'm like, nope. You know what
(17:22):
my fears, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
They're all old people in there, and I'm not old.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
They don't think they're old either, Susan. They're want to
surround myself with younger people and keep on moving. But
that's why you're paying Melissa. Well, let us know, Melissa.
But and I know, I know it's hard. It's just
one of those things. The way you navigate it is
you love him, you check on him, you do what
you can do, and then you have to let it
go and and just you know, let.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
They don't want him to resent her for constantly trying
to move him. You know, keep that relationship healthy with
your dad. I know you think it's better, and it
probably is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But if that's the way he chooses, that's what. Yeah. Also,
I would say she's flown across the country multiple times.
Think of the miles you're stacking up, Molesnia so you
can be able to take a vacation. I mean, look
for the positive in this issue. Moving let us know that.
Good luck. Okay, This one is from Chris. Hi. My
(18:27):
name is Chris. My wife and I have been married
for ten years. We have three kids, and overall we
share a really wonderful marriage. The only ongoing challenge we
face is her parents. She's incredibly close to them, which
I love, but at times it feels like the boundaries
between our marriage and her family aren't very clear. They
often stop by unannounced, and since my wife gave them
(18:50):
keys to our house, I sometimes come home to find
them just hanging out. Once I even came home to
my mother in law opening my mail on a top
that when my wife was pregnant, she told her parents
before she told me, and that really stung. I love
how much she values her relationship with them, but I
also want to feel like i'm the number one person
(19:12):
in her life. Do you have any advice on how
to set healthier boundaries without damaging their closeness? Oh? Hell
yeah I do. Oh God.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
First of all, you're not going to damage their closeness.
They are close, but that's your house, and you kindly
and respectfully ask your in laws let me know when
you're coming. I could be coming down the stairs in
a towel or naked for that matter. I can't have
you walking in unexpected.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I think I would handle it a little bit differently, shocker,
I would. I think I would talk to my wife
or my case, my first, and but I would. I would.
I would give the positive first. You know, I love
how close you are with parents. I love having them
so close to us. But I am struggling and it
(20:04):
doesn't work for me. And I would say to her,
if I were you, Chris, I would say, it's very
hurtful to me that you know you tell your parents
things before me. We are a marriage, we have a bond.
I love that you're close to their family, but there's
some changes that need to be made, and that's called
(20:25):
establishing healthy boundaries. So the first boundary would be that communication.
Like we always say, right, but I'm saying. The first
boundary that Chris, that you're gonna have to set because
your wife isn't going to do it, is they must
call before coming, and that your wife must talk to
you before she has them over, so that you're not
(20:47):
coming home when you're tired, you just want to put
your feet up, and you found the table set for
four and you're in laws with.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Him walking and opening his mail.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Excuse me, but I would say that to the wife
if you can't see, if I were Chris, if you
cannot see that this is wrong, so I am, I
would say, I'm going to talk to your parents about
opening my mail. I'm going to talk to them about
these things. But I want you to work with me
because we're a team. In other words, he asked, Chris,
(21:20):
you have to have buy in from your wife.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
She's obviously blind to it because she's so used to
her parents and being that comfortable. Maybe her parents opened
her mail.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I don't know, but that's a big taboo. That is huge,
and you're right.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Talk to your wife first and so she understands where
you're coming from, and do it with tons of respect.
Tell them how much you love them, and that at
they're welcome there anytime.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
However, no, no, no, you can't say you're welcome anytime.
We love seeing you, but please do not come any
longer unannounced, And you know what, Christy might get their
feelings hurt, you know what.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And hug them and say, I'm not trying to hurt
your feelings, babe. You can come anytime you want, just
let me know first.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Because Susan I may hear me. That's not what he
wants to say, because he may not want them there anytime.
In other words, play this out with me. I called
and go hey, Chris, you know, hey, Susie whatever her
name is, we'll be over in five minutes. And then
Chris is like, no, I want to sit in my
skivvies and chug beers tonight. I don't want your parents here.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
But he's given them. She's they're announcing that they're coming
in five minutes, and you instantly say it's not a
good times that would be his.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
So the boundaries are you wait for an invitations, You
wait for an invitation, you never open my mail, and
they're going to be hurt, Chris. But you got to
get buy in from your wife because you guys are
a team. All these questions today sort of relate have
similar underline theme, which is whether you're married, partners, whatever,
(22:57):
you're together for each other and you have to come
first with each other.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Chris, you love your wife, obviously, you have a great,
solid marriage, so you do need to get her to
understand where you're coming from, what it looks like from
your point of view. And once she gets that, I'm
sure it's going to work out.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But listen, let us know, impress it and be kind. Yes,
And Chris, if your in laws are listening and there's
any big checks in the mail, send them to me.
We'll split it all right, let's get it's game was well, Kathy?
How about today? Though?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
All three of them was about parenting or us becoming
parents to our parents and in law issues. And I
can't tell you there's probably millions of people in the
world that deal with this.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
It's so sad, I know. And this is why the
game we should be playing today is drink or dare
because that topic.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We're going to play around them icky or picky or
both about parenting and dating. We'll switch off reading the
ick and we'll say if we agree or if we
think it's just picky, I'll start us off. But wait,
didn't we add another word? Or okay, his parents and
(24:21):
or kids pop in unannounced.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'm telling you that's new to me. I say, Picky, pick,
why do we just talked about the question? I know?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And you think it's never bothered me? And if they
walk in on me doing something they don't approve of,
Oh well.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Wow, okay, Well I thought I thought we were on
the same page that he really had to talk to us. Well,
but you're saying you wouldn't care.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I mean unless it got monotonous.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I mean to the point where yo.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
But for me, I am who I am. And if
you you come in and you're not going to be
happy with whatever it is I might be doing, or
hell I'm dressed or whatever, then maybe you'll think twice
before you do it.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Agin Oh Susan, Okay, well, we can't belabor this, but
I'm just telling you. If my husband and I are
sitting down, I forgot what that feels like. But if
we're just sitting down watching a movie with popcorn and
my in laws popped in or my grown children popping in,
I would.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Say children can come popping in.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I never pop into my children's home. I always call first, always,
and I, by the way, by the way, I have
key to my children's home. And I never ever walk
in unannounced. And by that that's how someone still walks announced.
Oh god, all right, we're moving on here. Here's the
next one. Oh, his adult kids live with him. To me,
(25:53):
that all depends in good situation. The situation I can't answer, icky, picky,
Or it might be I might have a big heart
on my sleeve for the child. It just all depends
on his situation. They could be going through something.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
But if it's one that they never moved out, yeah,
that would definitely be an ick.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
That would be an Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Wait to hear the next one. He gives his adult
kids an allowance.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Do you see my face? Susan secret ballot?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
If you want to give your kids money, give them
one lump sum and say you go, we're done here.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, And that's that's just okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I can't even say this from the straight. Oh my god.
He went with his kids on their honeymoon. Ew Listen,
you know what. While he's on the honeymoon with them,
you know where I am in the lawyer's office filing
(26:53):
for divorce. Oh my god, it does, all right.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
A guy who wants to get matching couple's tattoos with you?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Oh no, if uh, well it depends if if I'm tattoos,
well that I don't either. But if I did, it's
a sweet thing. It's sweet thing. I don't think it's
taking picky. Yeah, maybe that's just picky. Yeah, okay, we'll
go with that. All right. He's really into he's really
into baby talking us little baby voices. I don't know
(27:26):
what I would do. I probably cracked up in a space.
What the hell are you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
I mean, you know that is a picky because maybe
some women turned.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I mean like if he says, look, sweetie pie, I
worn't the Jaguar dealer, and I'm gonna buy you that
pear exactly. I'm gonna give a baby talk right back. Perfect,
let's go. Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Some who sends someone who sends a good morning and
a good night text every single day?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I love I love it. I love it. Please, we're moving.
I think it should okay. Uh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Couples who over wait, wait, you didn't say anything.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
What's your choice there? You don't like it? I think
it's I think it's picky. I mean, I listen, I
think anything. If it's rote, if every day I texted
you Susan said good morning, and every day I text
you said good night, it's like, you know, it would lose.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
You're not my boyfriend, though.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
And thankfully I'm not. I'm just saying. It doesn't say
and bother you like, no, no, no, it doesn't say
a boyfriend. It says someone who sends a good morning.
Assume all right, great, guess what somebody you.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Were dating, Kathy and they sent you a good morning
every morning, I know, or a good night or sleep well,
that would be.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
It'd be fine if I were in a serious relationship.
But if it's just a guy I'm dating, no, I
don't want to hear from you every day. Okay. Couples
who overshare on social media share fights, lots of PDA,
which is public displays of affection, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
What do you think, ikey, I wouldn't share a fight
on social media, that would.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I think it's I I think I just think that
we are sharing too much on social media.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Sleeping in separate bedrooms from your partner only be as
the flu or that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Snoring is just beyond like that.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
That depends, no, because as people age, I know a
lot of people that have their own rooms now like
older people.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But a snoring thing. No, I mean, obviously I'm my
own bedroom right now, but I could see it if
they were sick or on the occasional night if I
had to get up really early or something like that.
But to maintain a separate bedroom, I like to put
my cold feet on their back to warm up in
the winter.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
That would be, I guess, a picky one. That depends
on the individual. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Ye all right wants to wear matching out.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Okay, that is just icky, that's just hysterical. I know, Fred,
when we're going out dancing, all the darling, what color
are you wearing?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Because he wants to blend with its so cute. But
can I just tell you on Paradise, all the couples,
that is so funny you said that they of course, no, no, no,
I was slow to the game. Like they'd come out
and you know they Jess would have on a blue
dress and and and Spencer would have on like a
(30:35):
blue of my shirt. And about the third time it
happened when they were in the same color. I went,
what do you two have like telephones in your room?
And they went like, oh, no, we talk about it.
We want to make sure we're mac hunt And I'm
looking at Keith and me. You know, I'm in green,
he's in red, he's in copper, I'm in black. I
was like, okay, whatever, all right. He wants to have
your location. Oh, this is an interesting one, suasan. He
(30:59):
wants to have your location and constantly checks it, asking
about where you are. No, I can't do that. Where
you are.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You can see my location because I don't have anything
to hide. But if you're going to question it, that's.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
A big ick. I would agree with you. That is
a huge if he's going to question.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
It, he proposes without a ring and instead just a promise. Well,
that''s not a proposal, you tell Dicky proposed, kid, you
not walking down the beach at sunset in Miami, I
mean in Mallie. And he's like, isn't this beautiful?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
What's your other proposal on the beach in Miami. No?
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No, And I'll go, oh my gosh, it is And
he goes, you know, if I ever got married, this
is where I'd want to do it, and I go, yeah,
how about that? This would be absolutely beautiful? And I
just kept walking. We were quiet, and he goes, well,
I said, well, what well?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I just that was a proposal. Do you have a ring?
Did you say that? Yes? He goes no, we could
go to the diamond guy and that we would get
one mad. I was like, oh my god, that's it.
You didn't get down on one knee. I didn't surprise
with a box. I can't wait to see. You should
have known that marriage was no, no rain man, not
down on one knee. I don't think that's a your
(32:18):
picky again. You know, maybe you want to take your
shopping for the ring. Who knows he keeps his promise. Okay,
this one, I'm just going to say. I'm going to
answer what my before I read it, it's beyond oo.
It's kick him to the curb. It's alimony, child support
and taking eighty percent of every dime he has. Go ahead,
(32:40):
read it.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
He shares all of our bedroom details with his friends,
being plural.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
That right there gave you a nick. No, I just
told you it's so beyond it for Kathy. Oh no,
I told you it's kick him to the Curby. He'll
be living in the tent when I'm done with him.
Oh my god, I love it. All right, Well, this
was fun. That was super fun. And unfortunately, Susan, the
fun is come to an end. This will wait, do it.
I'm just happy that neither one of us have mother
(33:09):
in Lawles, that's true, and you're closer to one than
I am. You're closer to getting one than I am.
All right, That does it for this episode of Bachelor
Happy Hours Golden Hour. It was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Thanks so much for joining us today. We love hearing
from you. We love doing this for you. And make
sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new
episodes coming.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Out every week and you don't want to miss them,
and make sure you submit your questions to us. You
can go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour,
or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Absolutely listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app for where ever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
See you next time. Take care,
Welcome back everybody to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thank
you so much for joining us again this week, and
we are so excited to be back. Hey, Kathy, you're
looking good.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Thanks, Susan, so are you. How are you doing today? Good?
Good good good good good. Okay, Well, if you haven't
done it yet, I know you have, Susan, but the
rest of you, if you haven't done it, now is
the time to follow our podcast so you never miss
an episode. Just search for Bachelor Happy Hour in the
podcast app and hit the follow button.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
And it's super important that you follow the podcast so
you get notified every time there's a new episode and
you don't want to miss it. Also, while you're there,
write us a review. You know, Kathy, I've been receiving
emails about our podcast. I love it, but I just
wish they'd write in so we can say it.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
On their Okay, folks, right in and make sure to
check out all of our past episodes. We have been
having a blast talking to your faves and answering all
your questions, so keep them coming at Bachelor nation dot
com slash Golden Hour.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Do you memorize that one cat? Don't we say that
a lot.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
I got it all right.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
Now let's get started with our favorite part, the question
of the day. All right, when do you stop parenting
your kids?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
Or do you ever?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
For example, does parenting ever really end or does it
just change over time?
Speaker 2 (01:31):
What do you think? Well, I really don't have time
to do this podcast today because I have to go
take care of my adult children. I don't think you
ever stop parenting. I do think it looks a little
bit different. I'm more of when my kids come to
me as an advisor giving them my thoughts. I really
(01:51):
try so hard not to interject what I think unless
I'm asked. You know, don't say anything unless you're asked.
What about you?
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I have changed one hundred thousand percent have changed because
I'll bite my tongue when they say, you know you should.
I thought you're raising your family. You do it your way, Kathy,
I gotta tell you, I don't agree a lot of times.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
Oh sweety, you and I share my two year old granddaughter.
They're raising her to be a terrorist. That's because she's two,
that's all. I hope to God you're right. I will
say I have matured as a parent. I do not
call my children every night and tell them to brush
their teeth.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
O God, no, no, or tell them how to keep
their homes.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Or clean their rooms or I mean, I don't know.
I was the kind of parent that I was. I
don't want to call myself a helicopter mom, but I
had and I bet you were the same. I had
certain rules, like their rooms had to be cleaned, they
had to do their homework, they had to put their
clothes away, and so that was parenting when they were younger.
(02:58):
Now you know, little it's little problems, big kids, big problems. Right,
So when my kids come to me now, it's it's
usually a bigger sort of life issue. Does that make sense? Yes,
it is.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
And the only thing I might still give some advice
is financial advice. I want to teach them what I
missed and how important it is to put money away
and how you know, like my son and my one
son and my daughter in law. God forbid, I hate
even saying this out that when they lost their child,
it was almost six years ago, but they had a
(03:33):
lawsuit that was settled and they're living very comfortably. They
decided not to move and they put so much money
in their house. It looks absolutely beautiful. But and I go, Chris,
I'm saying half of that should have been a vested mom.
I have X amount of dollars, I said, no, no, no, no,
With what you had, you better put a lot more.
Speaker 2 (03:54):
They got new cars, and I get it, but I
mean it's really I think I think raising kids like,
did you give your kids an allowance? Because when I
parented my kids, they got I think they started when
they were maybe nine or ten, and I gave them
their age in money, so ten they got ten dollars
(04:17):
a week. Which well, but here's the thing. If they
wanted to go to the movies with their friend, like,
they had to learn to budget. And I made them.
You know, back in those days we took them to
church every Sunday, they had to put money in their
money in the collection. Right, that's good. Well, and here
I say, colleg I just wanted them. But I will
(04:39):
tell you my kids are not. I mean, they all
work hard, but I think money is probably as you
and I've talked, money can be the root of all evil.
Oh wait, that's another show. But money is tough, I mean,
and I think our kids have a hard time learning
those lessons. So parenting like that, I don't think of
(05:00):
it as parenting. I think of it more like were
their friends were more than their friends. But we're not
parenting in the traditional sense of the word. You know,
telling them what to do and they have to work right.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
When they come to us.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, I always do that, but you.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
Can't tell them what to do now they're adults. I
cannot believe my babies. Kathy turned thirty seven and my
daughter next month in ten days or.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
She's going to be forty years old. How is that
even possible? I don't know. My oldest just turned last week,
turned forty four. So you know, crimea Riverses and I got,
I got, I can't. I mean I remember being that age.
But whatever. You know what I'm afraid of, it's not
part of the question of the day, but what the heck.
You know what I'm worried about is when we get old,
(05:52):
which I'm never getting old. Let's just start there. But
you know, when the tables sort of flip and our
kids sort of start paring want to do like mom,
Like my kids already saying, Mom, don't get on that ladder.
You know you don't need to break another leg. I mean,
that's gonna happen one of these days where I.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Think it's already begun. That Christ said a couple of
things to me, Mom, you should.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Go whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not there yet. Well that's
the problem, since and you and I are never going
to be there. You and I we're going to move
to some great place and raise hell wherever we are,
they're going to go. I don't care. I'm done eighty eight.
I'm going to raise l I don't care. That's about living.
You know, that's right.
Speaker 1 (06:34):
And you're right our parent. And even with my grandchildren, yeah,
I don't reprimand them as often as I did my
own children. And I think that's a given because we're grandmoms.
But I will tell them what's not, what's wrong.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Yeah, you don't do that. Well, my children are perfect.
I don't have to tell them. I'll let this slide,
all right. And I make them money. You know you
need the money? Yes, And Stella give her money and
she goes, look, mommy, what is Stella? She's what you're
gonna do with money? Putting a bank account for Susan, putting.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
And then my older ones, my teenage was like, Mimi,
can I have a twenty. Back in my day, it
was a dollar was a lot fifty cents.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
The tooth fairy. Now yeah, I mean you can buy
a car with what the tooth fairy needs for a bowler.
All right, let's move into our advice portion of the day.
I'm gonna be the first one. Okay, okay, all right,
here we go. This one is from Brianna. She's forty
two from Seattle. Hi, golden ladies. I've been a loyal
(07:42):
listener since the very beginning, and now I find myself
needing some of your wisdom. Well, thanks for listening, Brianna. Okay,
I'm struggling with my relationship with my mother in law. Oh,
here we go. To put it simply, she just doesn't
like me no matter what I do. It feels like
she's always searching for something to hold against me. While
(08:05):
this tension hasn't damaged my marriage, thankfully, my partner and
I are solid, it is starting to wear me down
right now. She's even refusing to speak to my spouse,
and I can't help but feel responsible, even though we
both know the issues aren't really about me. We've tried
to work on this through therapy, but she refuses to participate,
(08:27):
take accountability, or get help for her part in the
dynamic that leaves us feeling stuck. We have a family
get together and we're in this for the long haul.
But so is she. My husband loves his mom and
wants a relationship with her. I'm at a loss for
how to handle the situation in a way that preserves
my sanity and keeps the peace. How can we move
(08:49):
forward when the dynamic feels this toxic and unfixable? Appreciate
your help and love you too. Wow. Let me just
tell you. I've never reme met Brianna, but since I
lived Brihanna's life, let me tell you what's going on.
Everything is a problem, and everything is Brianna's problem. The
(09:11):
food's cooked wrong, their vacations are in the wrong place,
They don't spend enough time with their mother in law.
She stole her mother in law's son. I mean, how
long do you want me to go on?
Speaker 1 (09:21):
It?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
Literally is Brianna can do nothing right. That's what the
deal is. And there's some sort of Oedipus complex going
on here where you know, the mom just can't let
oversun So, what's your advice to her? Susan?
Speaker 1 (09:37):
You know, Kathy, I couldn't help but think it's you
every time. But as you said, it could be anything
she does. Maybe she just doesn't care for her. And
that brings up what we talked about a few weeks ago.
You try only for so long for your family's sake,
for your husband's sake, And then if it were me,
(09:58):
I would get to the point, well, well, you know
you can't respect me. I'm not.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Here's the thing. You don't want it to become a
wedge between you and your spouse, right or your partner
or whoever. You don't. But here's the thing. If if
the mom, and it's usually the mom, has a jealousy,
you know, you don't know what's going on in her life.
Maybe her marriage isn't great, maybe she doesn't maybe she
(10:25):
feels like you should move closer to her. You know,
you don't know what's going through her head. But what
you do know and the fact is she doesn't like you.
And I knew my mother in law she would. She would,
she would vacillate, she would say, oh, no, I really
like you, but only when my husband would go to
her faith, well yes, and when he said, mom, I'll
(10:47):
never forget Susan. They my mother in law actually like
me a little bit better off and on than my
father in law. But again my father in law, they
just they grew up very different to different culture. They
grew up in farm towns. I grew up. Ask you
a question, did you try in the beginning, like I did?
(11:08):
You have no idea how much I did for my
mother in law really, and when my father in law died,
I did even work. But here's what I will say.
My husband said to his mother and his father one
time when I got really upset because I had it,
you know, up to here, and Darryl said, Mom, Dad,
(11:29):
we've been married whatever it was at the time, we've
been married thirty five years. Do you think it stood
the test of time. Can you get on board? Well,
of course they never could. So my advice to Brianna
is she may or may not get on board, but
a don't let it come between you and your husband.
Be polite when you see her. You know, if you're
(11:52):
at a birthday party, if your kids, it's your child's
birthday party, for example, tell her how glad you are
to see her. You know that it's going to make
your child because after a while you're not going to
get no, no, no. But if you say, look, we're so
glad you're here for Johnny's birthday, Yeah, thank you for coming. God,
thank you for coming. And all you can do is
be polite, because being polite never goes out of style.
Speaker 1 (12:13):
I want to go off course just for a second.
Did you happen to watch The Hunting Wives?
Speaker 2 (12:19):
No, I don't watch it.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
You talk about a mother in law atached to her
son like it was eery.
Speaker 2 (12:25):
But that's the point. This is not Brionna. I hate
to say this to you. You are not alone in this.
I mean, this is a very common issue. Uh, it
just is, and I don't The only advice I can
give you is be kind to her. Ultimately your right, Susan,
(12:45):
I did give up, but but I gave up the
last two years of her life. I mean, I just
pray for patience for her. You know, I think that
the therapy, by the way, is a good idea. And
even if she refuses to go to therapy, Brianna, you
go go with your partner because for your relationship, because
(13:09):
at the end of the day, your child, your relationship
with your spouse or partner is the most important.
Speaker 1 (13:16):
One and it's her family. Now you know, right, that's
his family, but it's her family.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
It's hurtful, though, it's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Oh gosh, I know, and you know what, Thank you
Brianna for writing into us.
Speaker 2 (13:27):
And we're really curious.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
If you get a milestone and succeed, please tell us
that we could tell the world.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Yes, let us know, let us know, and you know,
just keep trying to do those family events as much
as you can. And by the way, if none of
that works, take a swig of vodka before she comes.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Okay, let's move on. This one is from Melissa and
she is sixty four years young from Oxner. Hi, Kathy,
and Susan. I have a question for you. I first
noticed this in my thirties and now again in my sixties.
What do we do when the roles reverse and we
(14:05):
find ourselves parenting our parents?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (14:09):
Okay, I'm in my sixties and my dad is in
his nineties.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
God bless him. Is he single?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
He's had several falls recently, but he refuses to use
a walker and absolutely won't consider moving into an independent
living facility, even though it would give him community care
and resources. I've flown across the country multiple times to
visit facilities with him, and they're truly wonderful, but he
(14:37):
won't budge. It feels like I'm dealing with a defiant,
stubborn toddler, and I'm the one who has to make
the adult decisions. I'm constantly worried about him, and I
don't know how to convince him that it is time.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
How do you.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Navigate this stage of life with love without losing your sanity?
I adore you both, and I love podcast Melissa.
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Thank you all. Can I just pick it? I can
give this answer. She's not gonna like it, Melissa, but
I dealt with this with my stepmom, who died a
few years ago at ninety six. I feel your pain.
But here's the simple answer, Melissa. Unless you have him
declared incompetent, which he doesn't sound like he is, there's
(15:23):
nothing you can do but do what you're doing, because
he has the right to wither away fall every day
unless unless he breaks a bone and a doctor says
you cannot go home unless you have twenty four hour care,
then you're going to get your wish and he'll be
in long term care. But other than that, Unfortunately, we
(15:46):
as senior citizens, have the right to make our own choices.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yes, and I couldn't agree with you more And unfortunately,
and this might sound harsh, but if that's the way
he chooses to go out, let it.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
Let it be.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, you know, you cannot control that. But I get
what she's saying. How we were parents and that we're parenting.
Speaker 2 (16:05):
Are That's what I said earlier, right, we were talking
about then the question of the day. It's so hard
and Melissa to watch a vibrant person, your dad, who
you know, carried you around, put you on his shoulders,
and now is having trouble standing. I don't mean to
sound insensitive. It's awful, but the fact as we get older.
Speaker 1 (16:24):
Yeah, and my kids we had a conversation the other
day on their birthday dinner. They said, listen, don't put
me away. There'll be no inheritance left. That costs a
lot of money. Just give me a cocktail, make.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Me go to sleep, mom, Mom, we'll go to jail.
Speaker 1 (16:39):
I was like, no, seriously, I don't.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
That's not my plan.
Speaker 1 (16:43):
Some people plan for that. What she's talking about is
not an old folks home, it's independent living. It's just
another place that you can still be you and do
what you want. You could still have a car. You know,
he's not letting go of his home, so you know.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
What, I don't. I have to be honest, Susan. I've
already told my kids there's going to be one dollar
and ninety six cents left checking no, because I'm not
going to go in. And my kids are always joking saying, oh,
come on, mom, you'll be the life of the party.
You'll be You'll be decorating for all the parties, You'll
be doing the dancing. I'm like, nope. You know what
(17:22):
my fears, Kathy.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
They're all old people in there, and I'm not old.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
They don't think they're old either, Susan. They're want to
surround myself with younger people and keep on moving. But
that's why you're paying Melissa. Well, let us know, Melissa.
But and I know, I know it's hard. It's just
one of those things. The way you navigate it is
you love him, you check on him, you do what
you can do, and then you have to let it
go and and just you know, let.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
They don't want him to resent her for constantly trying
to move him. You know, keep that relationship healthy with
your dad. I know you think it's better, and it
probably is.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
But if that's the way he chooses, that's what. Yeah. Also,
I would say she's flown across the country multiple times.
Think of the miles you're stacking up, Molesnia so you
can be able to take a vacation. I mean, look
for the positive in this issue. Moving let us know that.
Good luck. Okay, This one is from Chris. Hi. My
(18:27):
name is Chris. My wife and I have been married
for ten years. We have three kids, and overall we
share a really wonderful marriage. The only ongoing challenge we
face is her parents. She's incredibly close to them, which
I love, but at times it feels like the boundaries
between our marriage and her family aren't very clear. They
often stop by unannounced, and since my wife gave them
(18:50):
keys to our house, I sometimes come home to find
them just hanging out. Once I even came home to
my mother in law opening my mail on a top
that when my wife was pregnant, she told her parents
before she told me, and that really stung. I love
how much she values her relationship with them, but I
also want to feel like i'm the number one person
(19:12):
in her life. Do you have any advice on how
to set healthier boundaries without damaging their closeness? Oh? Hell
yeah I do. Oh God.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
First of all, you're not going to damage their closeness.
They are close, but that's your house, and you kindly
and respectfully ask your in laws let me know when
you're coming. I could be coming down the stairs in
a towel or naked for that matter. I can't have
you walking in unexpected.
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I think I would handle it a little bit differently, shocker,
I would. I think I would talk to my wife
or my case, my first, and but I would. I would.
I would give the positive first. You know, I love
how close you are with parents. I love having them
so close to us. But I am struggling and it
(20:04):
doesn't work for me. And I would say to her,
if I were you, Chris, I would say, it's very
hurtful to me that you know you tell your parents
things before me. We are a marriage, we have a bond.
I love that you're close to their family, but there's
some changes that need to be made, and that's called
(20:25):
establishing healthy boundaries. So the first boundary would be that communication.
Like we always say, right, but I'm saying. The first
boundary that Chris, that you're gonna have to set because
your wife isn't going to do it, is they must
call before coming, and that your wife must talk to
you before she has them over, so that you're not
(20:47):
coming home when you're tired, you just want to put
your feet up, and you found the table set for
four and you're in laws with.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Him walking and opening his mail.
Speaker 2 (20:58):
Excuse me, but I would say that to the wife
if you can't see, if I were Chris, if you
cannot see that this is wrong, so I am, I
would say, I'm going to talk to your parents about
opening my mail. I'm going to talk to them about
these things. But I want you to work with me
because we're a team. In other words, he asked, Chris,
(21:20):
you have to have buy in from your wife.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
She's obviously blind to it because she's so used to
her parents and being that comfortable. Maybe her parents opened
her mail.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I don't know, but that's a big taboo. That is huge,
and you're right.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Talk to your wife first and so she understands where
you're coming from, and do it with tons of respect.
Tell them how much you love them, and that at
they're welcome there anytime.
Speaker 2 (21:44):
However, no, no, no, you can't say you're welcome anytime.
We love seeing you, but please do not come any
longer unannounced, And you know what, Christy might get their
feelings hurt, you know what.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And hug them and say, I'm not trying to hurt
your feelings, babe. You can come anytime you want, just
let me know first.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Because Susan I may hear me. That's not what he
wants to say, because he may not want them there anytime.
In other words, play this out with me. I called
and go hey, Chris, you know, hey, Susie whatever her
name is, we'll be over in five minutes. And then
Chris is like, no, I want to sit in my
skivvies and chug beers tonight. I don't want your parents here.
Speaker 1 (22:26):
But he's given them. She's they're announcing that they're coming
in five minutes, and you instantly say it's not a
good times that would be his.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
So the boundaries are you wait for an invitations, You
wait for an invitation, you never open my mail, and
they're going to be hurt, Chris. But you got to
get buy in from your wife because you guys are
a team. All these questions today sort of relate have
similar underline theme, which is whether you're married, partners, whatever,
(22:57):
you're together for each other and you have to come
first with each other.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Chris, you love your wife, obviously, you have a great,
solid marriage, so you do need to get her to
understand where you're coming from, what it looks like from
your point of view. And once she gets that, I'm
sure it's going to work out.
Speaker 2 (23:16):
But listen, let us know, impress it and be kind. Yes,
And Chris, if your in laws are listening and there's
any big checks in the mail, send them to me.
We'll split it all right, let's get it's game was well, Kathy?
How about today? Though?
Speaker 1 (23:34):
All three of them was about parenting or us becoming
parents to our parents and in law issues. And I
can't tell you there's probably millions of people in the
world that deal with this.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
It's so sad, I know. And this is why the
game we should be playing today is drink or dare
because that topic.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
We're going to play around them icky or picky or
both about parenting and dating. We'll switch off reading the
ick and we'll say if we agree or if we
think it's just picky, I'll start us off. But wait,
didn't we add another word? Or okay, his parents and
(24:21):
or kids pop in unannounced.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
I'm telling you that's new to me. I say, Picky, pick,
why do we just talked about the question? I know?
Speaker 1 (24:35):
And you think it's never bothered me? And if they
walk in on me doing something they don't approve of,
Oh well.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
Wow, okay, Well I thought I thought we were on
the same page that he really had to talk to us. Well,
but you're saying you wouldn't care.
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I mean unless it got monotonous.
Speaker 2 (24:55):
I mean to the point where yo.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
But for me, I am who I am. And if
you you come in and you're not going to be
happy with whatever it is I might be doing, or
hell I'm dressed or whatever, then maybe you'll think twice
before you do it.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Agin Oh Susan, Okay, well, we can't belabor this, but
I'm just telling you. If my husband and I are
sitting down, I forgot what that feels like. But if
we're just sitting down watching a movie with popcorn and
my in laws popped in or my grown children popping in,
I would.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Say children can come popping in.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
I never pop into my children's home. I always call first, always,
and I, by the way, by the way, I have
key to my children's home. And I never ever walk
in unannounced. And by that that's how someone still walks announced.
Oh god, all right, we're moving on here. Here's the
next one. Oh, his adult kids live with him. To me,
(25:53):
that all depends in good situation. The situation I can't answer, icky, picky,
Or it might be I might have a big heart
on my sleeve for the child. It just all depends
on his situation. They could be going through something.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
But if it's one that they never moved out, yeah,
that would definitely be an ick.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
That would be an Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
Wait to hear the next one. He gives his adult
kids an allowance.
Speaker 2 (26:20):
Do you see my face? Susan secret ballot?
Speaker 1 (26:26):
If you want to give your kids money, give them
one lump sum and say you go, we're done here.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Yeah, And that's that's just okay, okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I can't even say this from the straight. Oh my god.
He went with his kids on their honeymoon. Ew Listen,
you know what. While he's on the honeymoon with them,
you know where I am in the lawyer's office filing
(26:53):
for divorce. Oh my god, it does, all right.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
A guy who wants to get matching couple's tattoos with you?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Oh no, if uh, well it depends if if I'm tattoos,
well that I don't either. But if I did, it's
a sweet thing. It's sweet thing. I don't think it's
taking picky. Yeah, maybe that's just picky. Yeah, okay, we'll
go with that. All right. He's really into he's really
into baby talking us little baby voices. I don't know
(27:26):
what I would do. I probably cracked up in a space.
What the hell are you doing?
Speaker 1 (27:30):
I mean, you know that is a picky because maybe
some women turned.
Speaker 2 (27:37):
I mean like if he says, look, sweetie pie, I
worn't the Jaguar dealer, and I'm gonna buy you that
pear exactly. I'm gonna give a baby talk right back. Perfect,
let's go. Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Some who sends someone who sends a good morning and
a good night text every single day?
Speaker 2 (27:55):
I love I love it. I love it. Please, we're moving.
I think it should okay. Uh.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Couples who over wait, wait, you didn't say anything.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
What's your choice there? You don't like it? I think
it's I think it's picky. I mean, I listen, I
think anything. If it's rote, if every day I texted
you Susan said good morning, and every day I text
you said good night, it's like, you know, it would lose.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
You're not my boyfriend, though.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
And thankfully I'm not. I'm just saying. It doesn't say
and bother you like, no, no, no, it doesn't say
a boyfriend. It says someone who sends a good morning.
Assume all right, great, guess what somebody you.
Speaker 1 (28:41):
Were dating, Kathy and they sent you a good morning
every morning, I know, or a good night or sleep well,
that would be.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
It'd be fine if I were in a serious relationship.
But if it's just a guy I'm dating, no, I
don't want to hear from you every day. Okay. Couples
who overshare on social media share fights, lots of PDA,
which is public displays of affection, et cetera.
Speaker 1 (29:05):
What do you think, ikey, I wouldn't share a fight
on social media, that would.
Speaker 2 (29:13):
I think it's I I think I just think that
we are sharing too much on social media.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Sleeping in separate bedrooms from your partner only be as
the flu or that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Snoring is just beyond like that.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
That depends, no, because as people age, I know a
lot of people that have their own rooms now like
older people.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
But a snoring thing. No, I mean, obviously I'm my
own bedroom right now, but I could see it if
they were sick or on the occasional night if I
had to get up really early or something like that.
But to maintain a separate bedroom, I like to put
my cold feet on their back to warm up in
the winter.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
That would be, I guess, a picky one. That depends
on the individual. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Ye all right wants to wear matching out.
Speaker 1 (30:02):
Okay, that is just icky, that's just hysterical. I know, Fred,
when we're going out dancing, all the darling, what color
are you wearing?
Speaker 2 (30:14):
Because he wants to blend with its so cute. But
can I just tell you on Paradise, all the couples,
that is so funny you said that they of course, no, no, no,
I was slow to the game. Like they'd come out
and you know they Jess would have on a blue
dress and and and Spencer would have on like a
(30:35):
blue of my shirt. And about the third time it
happened when they were in the same color. I went,
what do you two have like telephones in your room?
And they went like, oh, no, we talk about it.
We want to make sure we're mac hunt And I'm
looking at Keith and me. You know, I'm in green,
he's in red, he's in copper, I'm in black. I
was like, okay, whatever, all right. He wants to have
your location. Oh, this is an interesting one, suasan. He
(30:59):
wants to have your location and constantly checks it, asking
about where you are. No, I can't do that. Where
you are.
Speaker 1 (31:07):
You can see my location because I don't have anything
to hide. But if you're going to question it, that's.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
A big ick. I would agree with you. That is
a huge if he's going to question.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
It, he proposes without a ring and instead just a promise. Well,
that''s not a proposal, you tell Dicky proposed, kid, you
not walking down the beach at sunset in Miami, I
mean in Mallie. And he's like, isn't this beautiful?
Speaker 2 (31:35):
What's your other proposal on the beach in Miami. No?
Speaker 1 (31:38):
No, And I'll go, oh my gosh, it is And
he goes, you know, if I ever got married, this
is where I'd want to do it, and I go, yeah,
how about that? This would be absolutely beautiful? And I
just kept walking. We were quiet, and he goes, well,
I said, well, what well?
Speaker 2 (31:54):
I just that was a proposal. Do you have a ring?
Did you say that? Yes? He goes no, we could
go to the diamond guy and that we would get
one mad. I was like, oh my god, that's it.
You didn't get down on one knee. I didn't surprise
with a box. I can't wait to see. You should
have known that marriage was no, no rain man, not
down on one knee. I don't think that's a your
(32:18):
picky again. You know, maybe you want to take your
shopping for the ring. Who knows he keeps his promise. Okay,
this one, I'm just going to say. I'm going to
answer what my before I read it, it's beyond oo.
It's kick him to the curb. It's alimony, child support
and taking eighty percent of every dime he has. Go ahead,
(32:40):
read it.
Speaker 1 (32:41):
He shares all of our bedroom details with his friends,
being plural.
Speaker 2 (32:47):
That right there gave you a nick. No, I just
told you it's so beyond it for Kathy. Oh no,
I told you it's kick him to the Curby. He'll
be living in the tent when I'm done with him.
Oh my god, I love it. All right, Well, this
was fun. That was super fun. And unfortunately, Susan, the
fun is come to an end. This will wait, do it.
I'm just happy that neither one of us have mother
(33:09):
in Lawles, that's true, and you're closer to one than
I am. You're closer to getting one than I am.
All right, That does it for this episode of Bachelor
Happy Hours Golden Hour. It was so much fun.
Speaker 1 (33:21):
Thanks so much for joining us today. We love hearing
from you. We love doing this for you. And make
sure you follow Bachelor Happy Hour as we have new
episodes coming.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Out every week and you don't want to miss them,
and make sure you submit your questions to us. You
can go to Bachelor nation dot com, slash Golden Hour,
or hit us up on social at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Absolutely listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app for where ever you listen to your podcast.
Speaker 2 (33:49):
See you next time. Take care,
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
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