June 6, 2025 • 44 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” we’re diving into some of our fan questions! We kick off the episode asking-- When was a time you were backstabbed by someone close to you and how did you move on? Then, we’re diving into today’s questions, and we can’t help but wonder: Where do people get the audacity?! Our listeners are experiencing all sorts of betrayal, from cheating to not quite cheating and lies on lies on lies! Kathy and Susan are giving the harsh truths and these stories are sticky! Plus, we end today’s episode with Susan’s dream game — “What Would You Do” — where we finally get to hear what they would do in these twisted scenarios! Tune in now and be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. As always, we are so excited to
be here. How are you doing today, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm getting there, trying to heal, and I'm so glad
to be back here today answering all of the fan
questions that we get. Don't you enjoy those, guys?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I love it. I love hearing the updates. I love
hearing I know what people are up to. I love
it when we get compliments.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, that's always a good thing. And so everybody, make
sure you keep submitting those because we enjoy and love
reading them, giving you advice, hearing your feedback, and you
know how to do it right. Just go to Bachelor
nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And don't forget we want to hear from you everything,
your questions, your updates, all of it. You can also
DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We do
really want to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
And Kathy, there you go, we'd get d ms then.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I never thought about it that way. Soon I just.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
As Okay, okay, let's get into today's episode and we're
going to start with the question of the day. Here
we got all right, you ready? Cat? When was time
you felt backstabbed by a loved one or a friend?
(01:32):
And what did the relationship look like after? And how
did you personally move on from it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Okay, only funny things come to our mind, I know,
just just funny. Oh man, I don't have an answer
for that one backstab by a loved one.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I one came right, Tom. I know I've been taught
to forgive, and I think it's been twenty years. I
don't know if I forgave.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Well, let me help you. I'll be the priestest today.
Let me help you. What do you need forgiveness for?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I have moved on from it, But as far as
ever speaking to that person, she's not in my life.
So it was ugly and.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, are you going to tell me? You're not going
to tell me.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
No, it just consider it something that.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So the relationship is over.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh it's been over. Yeah, it was really ugly. But
I don't understand the difference between forgiving them and letting go.
I've let go, like when you let people go to jail,
like you know, or they killed somebody, and parents forgive
the person like in a car accident or something.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know, what I'm saying, right, I think I don't know.
I think for me, I can forgive people, but I
often have trouble forgetting.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Forgetting. Yes, well, I never forget.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Right, So but I think I think when something happens
to me that I need to forgive, I always go
back and say to myself, who has the power here?
If I don't forgive that person and move on, it's
hurting me. It's not hurting that person.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It takes up your energy the thought of it.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yes, so that's why I try to forget. If it's
hard sometimes to forget, but you know, I really try
going back.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Reading this again, it says a loved one or a friend.
It could have been a relationship like people out there.
I'm sure the man cheated on you that that's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Right, I don't think that's back that's not well not
to me.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
A secret is just telling telling me.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
If I said to you, Susan, I don't want you
to tell anyone this, swear to me you won't, and
that to me, that's backstabbing. If you call up Nancy
or something you know, well, that's different. That's what I'm saying.
If you purposely do something to diminish me as a
(04:26):
person that's backstabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Have you ever backstabbed anybody? I don't think.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh, I just did you a couple of days ago.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
What she's lucky she's in Texas.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
That was too easy. You walked into the one I
I don't. I don't knowingly backstab people. I think it sometimes.
Oh I'd like to tell this person, but I really
try not to do it, because you know, at the
end of the day, it's not really kind. And you know,
(04:57):
I want to be thought of as a kind person.
I think I am a kind person.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So you are a kind person. And how you move
on from it? And for me, that means time because
time heals.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Well, no forgiveness heals forgiveness sales, Yeah, I don't. Yeah,
you struggle with that, but I don't. I think once
I made the decision to forgive, then I forgive them.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Is that the same of letting it go? Let things go?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I have let many things go with friends I have
been if something's happened, the friendship may change, but I've
let it go, meaning I'm not going to harbor it. Inviting, Yeah,
it's forgiving. I'm not going to harbor it and and
say mean things. I'm going to let it go and
live my life and be happy, because if I don't,
(05:50):
I'm just giving away my power. I'm giving away my
positivity to somebody or something else, and I'm just not
doing that.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And holding on to negative energy.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So, Susan, when I backstab you again next week, I
want you to remember I love you and my relationship
with you is really important in our friendship. But you
know I may backstab you next week.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Just do the front step so I could see it coming.
Please get me all right?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So we are going to get into our fan questions today,
which you and I always love doing. Please keep him coming, folks.
I'm going to read the first one and let's see
what we have here. Okay, hi, ladies, I need to
vent lol. I've been with my boyfriend for about five months.
I'm in college and he's been out of school for
a few years. I always drive to see him because
(06:34):
he doesn't have a car, which I was fine with
for a while, but I finally got him to come
visit me for once. I was so excited, but the
second he met my friends, he started drinking to calm
the nerves and completely embarrassed me. I had a whole
day planned with my roommates, and he just made an
ass out of himself, and in his drunken state, he
(06:56):
told me that his X reached out to him and
it stressed him out. He swore he left her on
red and just wanted me to know. I was like, okay,
thanks for telling me. But I noticed him acting weird
after that, so I checked his phone. Turns out he
was planning on facetiming her that night once he got
a chance. Annoying. That is not how I would describe it,
(07:20):
but okay anyway, Yeah, so my question is this, how
do I break up with this man? Susan? Can we
just stop the question for a second, ask I break up?
Anytime I've mentioned a break he sobs and begs, to
the point where I feel so uncomfortable and trapped. I
don't even know how to put it into words. How
(07:41):
do I get through his victim complex and break this
off for good? I've been so done with this relationship
and this was the final straw. Help me get the
message across him. Please please, please, Thanks, ladies, Susan, Let's
say it together.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
This is a no brainer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
One two three dump him him now or yesterday?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Let's go back. So why did he need to calm
the nurse because he's meeting his girlfriend's friends, who stress
is about that?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Some people get nervous about me and other people. However,
you and I can safely say this question has so
many inherent problems. Number one, Well, getting drunk, you know,
is it just brings all sorts of problems. Anyway, he's
clearly a cheater, right, Well, he's gonna.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Be planned to chat with her on FaceTime. So the
drunk ass, stupid ass told her about this message. First problem.
But what she's asking us is how do I get
this message? You don't have to do anything? Block is this?
It's over.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's over, big boy, Susan, I don't know who this is.
We're gonna call you anonymous Susan and I are going
to role play. Don't break up with.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Me, sweetie. Listen to me. Listen to me, learn from this. Okay,
this is not normal. You don't do these things and
lie about it. I'm guilty for looking at your phone.
And there's a reason I look because you're fucking guilty.
Move on, forget me.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
That is what I know.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I wouldn't say it like that.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You know what I would see that was way too
many words. And you who always say keep it short,
less is more, lessons more, you know what I would say,
Let's say the guy's name is Joe, Joe, I've been
an idiot taking you back, not this time by don't
let the door hit your ass on the way out,
and it'd be gone. And I think, Anonymous, you might
(09:44):
need to get a little bit of help here because
you don't want to be with him, but you take
him back. I think you may have some self esteem
issues or something else going on here.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
And she says, help me get the message across.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
We're helping her.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What helped you need? Their words? Tell him straight up?
What part do you need help? You want to do it?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah? Really give us this number. We'll call him. You're done,
you're out. And you know what, Anonymous, once you dump
his ass, it's going to open your brain and your
heart to better, healthier relationships if you do the work,
if you figure out why you kept taking him back.
I mean, when we get these questions, Susan, I'm always like,
(10:25):
what is not being said or what's behind the words?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yes? And Kathy, you know me with the empathy thing
like it takes me forever to break up with the
guy so I can relate. However, everybody comes into your
life for a reason, a season, you know the saying,
and it's just time to accept You're not happy with
this behavior. So you could say as kindly as you
(10:54):
like or as mean as you like, but say it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
But when she says she feels trapped, I'm like, she's
I don't know there's a word for it, and I
can't think of it right now, because she's trapping herself.
Like he's not setting a trap. She's going for a
SOB story. She's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she's
afraid to be alone. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
This whole question that you sent to us, and thank
you for doing so, is not about him. It's about you, Yes,
and that's what we want you to deal with. Look
in the mirror, talk to yourself, get it out and
say I'm better than this and I deserve better than this.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's right, And you know what, sometimes it's hard to
say those things. If I were me, I would keep
it short, anonymous and just say I'm done, and then
I'd spend time. I are you agree, I'd well, I'd
call I would get some help you know, a friend,
a therapist, somebody say, he help me figure out why
(11:51):
I kept jumping back into this, but I wouldn't waste
a lot of words with him.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
And just a few weeks ago, I don't know, a
month ago, I was having a yucky kind of day.
And you're the one that said, did you look at
the mirror this morning and say, I am right, I
am worth it, I am lovable, I love That's right?
You know, positive affirmation.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yes, I really believe that's true. And there's something in
this girl's life where she does something she deserves it,
or she's not living her positive best life something, So Anonymous,
get after it. We are gonna send you positive vibes.
Get it done, and then get some help to figure
out why you kept this complete fool in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
And even though he cries, yes, you feel bad for him,
but you're helping him in the long run. You guys
are in college, you have a whole life. Yet now's
when you learn. Now is when you do this and
you move on from it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Susan, she's been with this guy five months. The ink
on the ink on the first love letters barely dry.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
And she drove all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So many red flags. Get rid of him. Let us know.
We're sorry if we sound harsh. It's just that we're
old as Methuselah and we know that this is not
going to end up well for you. So get rid
of him and find a new guy and get some
help yourself, and then let us you.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
If you're looking for a release and saying do the
right thing, you just got it. Okay, yeah, exactly, Thanks
for doing it though, okay, Keath. Question number two, and
this one is from Claire. Hi, ladies, I need some advice.
(13:34):
I just found out that my ex husband is engaged.
Our divorce finalized a month ago. What do I do?
I'm honestly distraught. I don't want to be with him anymore.
We split do to the typical falling out of love
slash terrible to no sex life stuff. But this honestly
(13:57):
really hurts to make matters worse. He's in gains to
his secretary. Please just tell me some things I need
to hear right now. Thank you so much. Okay is
damn secretary? You ask?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Oh, that's not fair, that's not fair.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Sooner it's a month, obviously, you know where my head
at is at. He's been seeing this secretary for quite
some time.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, okay, maybe he has, maybe has not, we don't know.
Don't jump to conclusions. I mean, I'm right.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
There was it divorce six years?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I don't know. But but here's the thing that you were.
You took the thought right out of my mouth. We
don't know how long they were separated. We don't know
any of those things. And maybe cheated, maybe didn't. That's
not the point. The question here is, Claire, you're asking
what do I do? You don't do anything. You're out
of his life.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So he says, right here, I don't want to be
with him.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It doesn't matter if she wants to or not want.
They are too Claire, what do I do? Start dating,
go out with your girlfriends, take a trip, read a book,
take flower arranging, bake a cake, but stop thinking about
him because it's over and or two he's moved on.
(15:18):
I really don't. I'm sorry, I mean, I don't. I
don't mean to sound harsh. I'm sure that it would
be hard to hear. And I'm sure you're thinking like
Susan did.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yes, he's already just we just got to a divorce
a minute ago. And so you're probably, but it should
only stink for a second because remember, you didn't want
to be married to him, right, so sucked.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I was gonna say, go find some better sex, Claire,
you know, go find go find a good time guy
for a night. It'll clear your head.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And I get the typical falling out of love. That
that's what happens. I mean, it's not easy. I think
marriage it's not just being and love, it's being a
partner with somebody. So you weren't partners obviously, so the
love part goes away. I know because I lived through it,
(16:10):
and the sex ed this is a no brainer. I
think it's stung because number one, it was a secretary.
At number two, it came immediately after the divorce.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Well, I would get that, I would say number three,
I think what Claire isn't saying. I'm reading a little
bit between the lines here. She probably surmising, like you did, Susan,
that he went that secretary before, and that's probably what stings,
and she just doesn't want to put it down. So Claire,
if that's the case, it's sucks too. Exactly if you
(16:43):
didn't know, If you still don't know, and.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Kathy don't some divorces take a few years, so they
could have been living their own lives for a couple
of years. But because the papers came in and he's engaged,
you know what I'm saying. So it could be a
lot of things, but you want to hear us. We're
telling you it's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It's okay to feel badly, but again, it's about living
positive life. Don't spend your days feeling hurt. Go spend
your days doing something positive for yourself that way, you know, Yeah,
go do something for you and the hurt. Oh, now
(17:26):
we're getting done to it. How much mon? Did you
get clear? Come join us for a vacation. We'll make
you laugh. But thank you, and I'm really sorry. Yeah,
good luck and sorry that you feel that way. Okay.
The next question is from Nina. She writes, Hi, Kathy
and Susan, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.
(17:47):
I just found out that my best friend of ten
years has been talking shit about me behind my back
for our entire friendship. I found out because she sent
a message about me to me by accident. Then when
I blocked her from viewing my story, that's literally all
I did. Lol. She went on a rampage and started
(18:08):
making up crazy lies about me to all of our friends.
Turns out this isn't the first time she's done that.
The biggest lie I was telling every one that I
was in rehab when really I was in the hospital
dealing with some severe medical issues. My question is this,
How do I heal from this? I feel like I
can't trust anyone, and I'm spiraling. I'm away at college.
(18:31):
She's still in her hometown, so I feel so disconnected
from all of my friends there. I don't even know
if they are my friends. Any advice would be great.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh wow, that's sad, you know what. I know she's hurting,
but that girl karma's a bit. I feel sorry for
her for what life is going to be given her.
You don't do things like that. You don't spread lies.
It's bad enough if you're going to spread secrets the
(19:03):
backstabbing part, but to make up bold face lives. Did
I tell you that story? Because I think I did
on another podcast when I used to pray that I
would develop boobs.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
You know, yes you did at the Splash party and
that that thing went out Piccolo stoves and I came
out and bar it all, but she's not home to
defend herself.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So do you think she should put out something on
social media to embarrass this woman or this girl or.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Not at all. Here's what I think.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Simply move on, Nina.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
You're young, you're in college. I get it. It stings.
You've obviously known this girl. I'm guessing it's a girl,
could be a guy. But you've known this person for
ten years, so probably since your teenage years, and to
find this out now is brutal. I would say to you, don't.
(19:59):
I would not do what Susan said. I would not
put anything out on social media. I would not put
any negativity out there because negative breeds negative. So if
I were you, I would let it go. When you
get home from college and Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, summer,
whenever it is the next time you see her, I
would have a sit down with just her and I
(20:22):
would say here's how I feel, this is what you know,
blah blah blah. Go through all of it with her
and say you really hurt my feelings and I can't
believe this happened. Do you want to be my friend,
because if you do, you can't do this again. And
let me tell you. Wait, I had an experience like
(20:42):
this with a very good friend. And I've never told
this straight before. I just just in talking about her,
it just came back to my mind. I had a
very good friend who when she would get worried about me,
she would call my kids, and of course, you know,
my husband's gone, my kids were my kids are worried
(21:04):
about me, right if something happens. And so last time
she did this and my kids panicked because they couldn't
reach me. I was out playing golf and having dinner
and I turned my phone on. Well, they thought I
was dead by the side of the road. Anyway, when
I called them back, they my children had called them
like ten times. I found out she had called all
of my children and said, I can't reach Kathy out
(21:26):
of nowhere, and she knew where I was by the way.
She I don't know why she did it, but I
called her and I said, I can tell you it
was a guy I was on a date with and
she didn't like the guy, so I don't know. So
I called her and I said, listen, you cannot ever
call my children again.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You cannot do that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I said, if I'm dead by the side of the road.
My children will find out if I'm in the hospital,
they will contact my children. If you want to be
my friend, you can never do this again, can you
promise that? And she said no, I can't. I said,
our friendship just ended. And okay, I'm just saying it's
short and sweet.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Where my mind's going. When she received the message about
her accidentally from this gossipy girl, she says she blocked her.
You wouldn't confront right then and there make the phone
call like whoa, I'm sure you didn't mean to send
that message to me, And why on earth would you
(22:27):
be saying.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Because she's in college.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
If I send you a message and I meant to
send it to Nancy, okay, and it was trashing you,
You're only going to block me. You're not going to
call me it and Susan.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Susan, I have it. I have a news flash. And
I hope everyone's listening very carefully. Neither you nor I,
come to think of it, Nancy either we're not in college.
We've lived a lot of life. I'm saying I could
see it where where Nina might be so hurt that
oh I just want I just want to block this.
I just want to you know, I want to forget it,
(23:04):
but clearly that doesn't work, which is why I suggested
sit down with her.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Mind gotthy can remember when I tried to hold it
in when something happened between people we know and I
did good for like a week, and they were all
on a zoom call together, and.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, let me just say, Susan gives great advice. She
doesn't know what's take her, she doesn't know what's follow through.
I remember this phone call. I was like, oh my god,
can we just say bats Nation needs to hear this.
They think Susan is miss sweetness, princess sweet I am, oh, really,
(23:45):
you don't have sign of you. That was wrong button exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I remember they.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And I have the reputation of being I have a
bat at all times, and I'm exactly the opposite. So
bachsor Nation figure it out. And anyway, Nina, delivery, It's
a delivery, I know, Nina. Here's what I'm recommending that
I think Susan would agree, sit down with her when
you get home from school. If you can't resurrect, or
remediate or repair, I don't know where all those are.
(24:14):
Words just came from the friendship. Then it might be over.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I agreed to appoint Kathy. I wouldn't give her an
opportunity to be my friend again. The damage is done,
and I personally, as I sit here while you were
talking and I'm listening to you, would probably put something
out about why I was in the hospital, not saying
she said or did anything this friend, and thank you
(24:39):
for all your well wishes. I had a severe whatever
the problem was, so that the world knew she was there,
and then the people I think she was in rehab
they might question that friend.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
They might or they might say, oh god, it's true
and she's putting up this fake story about being the mostrue.
That's why I don't say anything. I don't justify stupid,
mean rumors with the response. I just don't. People are
gonna believe what they want to believe. Her friend, What
do I always say to you? What do I always
say to you when we talk about the mean people
(25:12):
saying stuff about you.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
And me online? Wearing a bikinias get your negative thoughts
thrown at right?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Who cares what they say? I care what you think
of me because you're my friend. But if people who
don't know me on the internet, who cares, so Nina,
good luck. Let us know if you in fact do
repair the friendship.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Well, can I say one more thing. When you get
home and you talk to those other people, not the person,
but the other people, you could bring it up and
say I was so hurt by that. I can't believe
that she told people, and maybe they get some feedback
or like, I think we never thought that.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I think you're pitying. That's I think it's keep it
and it's pity. It's like triangulation. You're bringing other people.
I just say lessons more. I don't. I'm not gonna.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I wish I would be more like you and just
shut it down.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I wish I wish I could be more like you
and had hair like yours that could try in thirty
seconds with the hair dryer. That's what I wish. Moving on,
all right, are you ready? We're going to play a game.
It's time for games. And you know it's as close
(26:28):
to moral quandary as we can get. No, but no, listen,
we're going to answer all your dreams. Your dream is
about to come through, Susan. You know why. We're going
to talk about what we would do. You do not
have to guess what I would do.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
This is a perfect It's.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
The Susan Show. You're going to say what you would do,
and I'm going to say what I would do. So
here goes first one dreams.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Guess that's what I said.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
It's Susan's dream day, all right? What would you do
if your first date brings up their ex multiple times
and even compares you to them. Do you call it
out or let it slide?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Well?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I wish off could happened.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's happened. That has happened, and honestly it at that time,
it was whether I was wanting to get to know
this guy or not, Like I know, within three minutes
going on a first date, whether I'm going to see
you again or not. But multiple times, like sometimes people
(27:37):
do bring it up and to compare me to somebody.
So it happened one time and he was a widow.
I felt so bad for him, Kathy by the fourth
time and I looked at him in my face, my
eyes tell all like really, and he goes, I'm so
sorry for doing this, but can I just show you?
I said, of course, I'm about to throw up in
(27:57):
my mouth, Kathy, I have and it was scary like
she was a hairdresser. She looked, we looked just alike.
Just I mean, maybe our features were a little the
hair that, the body, the height, the And he said
to me.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Wait, he is a widower. Yes, she wanted to marry
the ghost of Christmas past.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
He said. And I liked the guy a lot. I
really did. And he said to me, I don't think
I could see you. It's too much. Oh, I know,
I know.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I mean it's really good for him though, you know,
good for him for knowing.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And like I said, I would have seen him again.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
He was a nice I think I this this an
ex a widower that's not an X that's a death right.
So this is different if your your first date for
me brings up their ex So you know, for me,
I'm out. I'm not a first state. You know, down
the road. Maybe if he was talking to me about
(29:04):
and that's another conversation, by the way, that we can
have someday, whether or not you know, how much do
you want to know about your current boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Exes fashion them like they're saying.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Oh, that's a big flag. I'm saying, I don't. Someday
we're going to have this conversation about whether how much
do you want to know about your current boyfriend, of
which I don't have one, but how much you want
to know about their exes? Right? I want to know
some know a.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Little bit of where you're coming from, but rightly details.
Everybody's got a past.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Yeah, right, So anyway I would, I would call it
out and I would let him slide right out the door.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Your date gets a little too drunk and starts making
a scene. Do you stick it out in the night early?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay? God, I can tell you my mine's a real
quick answer. I'm out the door. I do not like
a start. That's right, I'm out, goodbye, I see you.
I'm at at Susan's house.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Who's ever closed? Okay?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You realize you have zero chemistry, but they seem really
into you. Do you give them another date or call
it quits early? What do you do, Susan?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I stick it out for that date, and I'm usually
a little I don't want to call myself a puss,
but I'll text them that I didn't feel what I
needed to feel, but I'm not going to go out
on another date with them. Right.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I also would stick out the date and then if
they called me for another date. I would say, I
have a horrible case of cholera. I mean, I want
to make sure. I want to make sure, I'll I
want to make sure they don't want to be around me. God,
it's extremely and it's contagious.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Can you see the guy now asking a friends do
you know what color is? Okay? You see your friend's
partner out with someone else looking a little too cozy?
Do you tell your friend or do you stay out
of it?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You've had this conversation, You've had this conversation, So.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
The word friend is the hard part. Like I, yeah,
I'm not kissing and telling them, but I've seen people
with their wives. Weren't my friend?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Wait a second, I knew the if it is you,
oh no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
If it's you mean Nancy, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, I'm oh no, I am saying it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yes, if I see friend.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah, but if I just see uh, you know, a friend,
I don't know. It could be a business meaning that's
where you get yourself into trouble, you know. It could
be their cousin. It could be you know, serious, it
could be failing cousin. It could be someone in from
out of town. I never mess with that stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I don't know that I would do an immediate.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah, I don't either. I think I would keep my
mouth on your own business. Yeah, but again it depends
on how good a friend it is and how posy.
I mean, if they're sitting making out, it's probably not
a business meeting.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Okay, your tongue was down her throat. I probably would
address him before i'd address her. I'm going to give
him an out here. Point in my eyes to his eyes.
I see you, I'm watching you.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Okay, what vachor nation? She would do it too, be
scared of suits, and she means what she says. All Right,
you agree to go to a party, but when you
get there, you realize you don't know a single person.
What's your move?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh that's easy, Yeah, that's very easy.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Hey, exactly, I'm counting. Who's on old? Come on? Stop?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah? No, I don't know how long i'd stay. Depends
on the feedback from the crowd, I guess. But when
you do not know a.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Person, if you're invited to them, maybe maybe the person
you got sick or someone who knows. But I will
say you and I've talked about this as well. You
and I can both walk into a room not know
anybody and make friends and talk. And it's actually a gift,
and I'm grateful that it is. I have that gift
and you are too.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
It's and it's the smile that's warming and welcoming. People
want to know when you smile.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Just walking with a smile. Hey, and you know what,
get people to talk about them for a little bit.
You got a new friend, it's great, all right, go ahead,
all right.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Your friend borrowed something valuable from you and accidentally broken.
But has it mentioned it yet? Do you bring it
up or wait for them to So I'm taking it
that they've already given it back to you and you
realize it's broken. I say to me that, yo, what happens?
Speaker 1 (33:50):
You owe me? And she means it. Folks, I'm going
to be honestly, if something valuable, I'm very careful about
lending lens.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yes, I do borrow.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
So yeah, well you said that, but I happen to
know for a fact you do.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
What did I borrow?
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There might be when you took your last trip to
Saint Martin because you needed some additional beach cover ups.
When you went to Saint Martin.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Oh no, that was forced. You're talking about your friend,
and let me tell you that she have some gorgeous things.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
We love our friend on this that we say we
love our friend. Don if you're listening, we love you,
all right, I I just don't lend something that valuable.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
All right, Well if you did, Pat, I want to know,
would you say, hey, I just noticed that it's broken or.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Its I probably I probably would bring it up, yeah,
I probably nicely, kindly?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yes, yes, yes, okay, all right we agreed again.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Guys, yep, we're agreeing. That's a new friend. A new
friend always forgets their wallet when you got to How
do you handle it? Oh, we've had this conversation.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Before they get there, I remind them she does.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I swear I've heard her do it. I've paid the
last two times. Don't forget your wallet?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
That's yes, yes, I mean because then you're not going
to be friends with them anymore. If they consistently, you're
going to shy away.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
I have to tell you I have a friend. This
is how people get to know about it. These things
make us tell stories. I have a friend here, Beth,
who has a couple of friends who do not reciprocate.
And Beth is always inviting people over for dinner and
for drinks and for lunch and no, and she always no.
I always she always has me over for dinner. I
(35:42):
always bring.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
About every mind.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And when we go out for brunch, I always stick
my credit card down and say and put hers on
mine because she always has me for dinner always. And
as people know, I don't really cook very much, so
I'm but other people don't. They let they let her
pick up the tab, and I'm like, I talk, I
keep saying that's don't be so quick with the credit card.
(36:05):
Sit back, and you know.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
He told me that, Yeah, I'm in somebody's company, Like,
oh no, I'm staying there, you know, let me.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Ye, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. You know it is
can be uncomfortable, but you know what, you don't want
to breed resentment.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
So it's so good point.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
So let's let your credit card stay in your pocket
a little bit longer.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Next one, is you accidentally like an old Instagram post
of someone you have a crush on it? What do
you do?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Absolutely nothing?
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Nothing like it? You have a crush on them. Hello,
I hope you noticed or see or whoever.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, that's oh my gosh, we're green way too much.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's going to be a good day, cat, all right,
all right.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
You and your partner planned a big night out, but
they cancel last minute for something that doesn't seem important. Oh, Susan,
what would you do?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Doesn't seem important to me? Or was?
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Obviously it doesn't important to you, but they can't.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I would definitely be disappointed. I mean, obviously you have
to accept the fact that they canceled.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
You're not going to say anything. Who are you trying
to kill?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Why? And when you tell me that's why, I'm going
to say, really, I'm not. That depends on what the
reason was, you know, if it under way, the disappointment will.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Be exactly I think I would do exactly the same thing,
and I would let them know. You know what, It
comes back to communicating. If I said, pay no problem,
I'm likely to say, hey, John, whoever it is, I
was really looking forward to seeing you, you know, but
that's okay, Maybe we can do it another night. It's
better to be, you know, it's it's better. It is better.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It is better to be.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, okay, go your significant other makes a joke about
something you're insecure about. Do you address it or brush
it off?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Address it?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, immediately, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And I know we're taught to wait till you get home.
Like we've read one of these questions a few weeks back,
a few episodes back, and they the husband and wife
were the couple. I don't know if they were married,
and they agreed if anything like this should happen, you
never say you just go about the party or whatever
you're at and wait till you get home. That would
(38:17):
stew in me, can be like a fire being ignited.
I would look like a dragon by the time we go.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And she would. Folks, but they're not saying that this
that the significant other is doing in front of other people.
They're saying, you know, it's like it's like this, it's
like I'm dating or you know Joe, and Joe makes
a joke about me interrupting Hi. You know you're just
you're choking.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
You're not insecure about well.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Actually I am. I'm trying to be better about you
know about or you know, Kathy, uh.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Something you're insecure, man.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I am insecure about that, or or joking like, oh,
you were the only girl at the pool with a
one piece on that was a lot of fabric that
would that I'm insecure about that, because it would be well,
here's where I's gonna say to you. People say things
and they and they they cushion it by saying, oh,
it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It is
(39:19):
not a joke. So if my significant other makes a
quote unquote joke about something I'm insecure about, you know
what that is. It's cruel. And they know what they're
doing and they're not making a joke. They're either making
fun of me or trying to make a point, and
it's not nice.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
It's not nice.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
So, all right, you're casually dating someone and they tell
you they don't believe in tipping at restaurants. Is this
a deal?
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Can we answer in unison? Yes, let me tell you
something I think when you talk about like red flags
when I'm on a date. If they are never mind tipping,
they are not kind to the server, bending over backwards.
(40:05):
Two of my three children were servers and restaurants, so
I always tip close, you know, way over twenty percent
because they work their tails off and I'm always.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
They're not good. Yes, they're giving me no service. They'll
give the minimal, but they get it tip.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
And I tell you why. You need to tip them
the right amount. This is my PSA. No, you need
to tip the customary total amount. Here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
No, you keep a certain percentage twenty percent of them.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Okay, And you're saying, if they're rude, you give them
less than twenty.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Now, I always tip the minimum, the basic. Oh so
you're saying, somebody treats me well and I noticed because
I was a server as well once fun a time.
Then they get not double, but way more.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, you questioned it because you appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Okay, So here's a question that was on here. But
you know, not not all tips are. If it's cash,
they don't have to claim them. All you tip in
cash or credit.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I tried to yes, in kat, chip and cash.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So what I'll try You know what I tried to
do because they split the tips with the with the bartender.
Yeah yeah, yeah right, So if I so, I'll usually
put it on the check because I wanted to get
split with everyone that helped prepare my meal. But you
know what I'll do sometimes when I walk out, I'll
take like a ten dollars bill out of my wall.
(41:24):
Depends on the price of the and just say shake
their hand and say thank you so much. It was
a delight having you serve and hand them, and that
money is meant to go to them, and they know it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
And you know, when we all go out, when all
the girls are together, we all throw cards down and
we add the tip to the car and.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
We always over we as a group always leave a
big tip, because that's the kind thing to do, round
fine thing to do. All Right, you're on a date
and your date says something you completely disagree with, but
you still like them. Do you challenge them or change
the subject? Oh? Come on, guess well this last wait,
let's just guess what the other one would do.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Susan do.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
What would Susan do? I would say the same thing,
Kathy's gonna do.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
We challenge, we challenge. Yes, I would have won the moral.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Susan. Susan, I'm going to tell the producers we want
to go back to moral quandary.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Because no, no, no, don't get excited. Do not get excited.
But I think we did well. This game worked for us.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
This game works so well for us. I just want
to know. I just wonder before we wrap it up,
and we only have a couple of minutes here, Okay, okay,
So one of the most I just want to say
one of the things I love. I haven't had a
chance to say this yet. One of the things I
love about Bachelor Nation is when we have people on
the podcast, we get to know them and we get
(42:44):
new friends. And can I just tell you Ali, Joe
and Julianna, Like, I have Juliana's phone number now, She's like,
we're the Newton girls. They're so nice. I feel like
I've made new friends.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I know, I've just in the past guys that we
had I think we knew them from the show, but
getting to talk to them and digging in and.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Yeah, I just I just want everyone to know that
we're the friendships were blessed, and the friendships that we
make through Bachelor are really friends. It crosses age lines though.
I just feel so grateful to be making all these friends.
All right. So that's that's the PSA. This was so
much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
And thank you, sir God, Yes people, we.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Love you all. Thank you all to our listeners, uh
for joining in and listening to us today, because without
you and your questions and your comments, we'd have nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour
because you know us, we have a new one coming
at every week and you don't want to miss. I mean, really,
for Kathy and I to agree on just about everything today,
that's a win.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
That is a win. Although maybe they want to hear
us argue Susan, here's the thing we do. We don't agree.
We could really dial it up, but in the meantime,
please submit your questions, your comments, all of it. Go
bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. We'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Take care,
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
joining us today. As always, we are so excited to
be here. How are you doing today, Susan.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
I'm getting there, trying to heal, and I'm so glad
to be back here today answering all of the fan
questions that we get. Don't you enjoy those, guys?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I love it. I love hearing the updates. I love
hearing I know what people are up to. I love
it when we get compliments.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yeah, that's always a good thing. And so everybody, make
sure you keep submitting those because we enjoy and love
reading them, giving you advice, hearing your feedback, and you
know how to do it right. Just go to Bachelor
nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
And don't forget we want to hear from you everything,
your questions, your updates, all of it. You can also
DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We do
really want to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
And Kathy, there you go, we'd get d ms then.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
I never thought about it that way. Soon I just.
Speaker 2 (01:12):
As Okay, okay, let's get into today's episode and we're
going to start with the question of the day. Here
we got all right, you ready? Cat? When was time
you felt backstabbed by a loved one or a friend?
(01:32):
And what did the relationship look like after? And how
did you personally move on from it?
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Okay, only funny things come to our mind, I know,
just just funny. Oh man, I don't have an answer
for that one backstab by a loved one.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
I one came right, Tom. I know I've been taught
to forgive, and I think it's been twenty years. I
don't know if I forgave.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Well, let me help you. I'll be the priestest today.
Let me help you. What do you need forgiveness for?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I have moved on from it, But as far as
ever speaking to that person, she's not in my life.
So it was ugly and.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, are you going to tell me? You're not going
to tell me.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
No, it just consider it something that.
Speaker 1 (02:32):
So the relationship is over.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh it's been over. Yeah, it was really ugly. But
I don't understand the difference between forgiving them and letting go.
I've let go, like when you let people go to jail,
like you know, or they killed somebody, and parents forgive
the person like in a car accident or something.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
You know, what I'm saying, right, I think I don't know.
I think for me, I can forgive people, but I
often have trouble forgetting.
Speaker 2 (03:07):
Forgetting. Yes, well, I never forget.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Right, So but I think I think when something happens
to me that I need to forgive, I always go
back and say to myself, who has the power here?
If I don't forgive that person and move on, it's
hurting me. It's not hurting that person.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
It takes up your energy the thought of it.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
Yes, so that's why I try to forget. If it's
hard sometimes to forget, but you know, I really try
going back.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Reading this again, it says a loved one or a friend.
It could have been a relationship like people out there.
I'm sure the man cheated on you that that's hurtful.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Right, I don't think that's back that's not well not
to me.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
A secret is just telling telling me.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
If I said to you, Susan, I don't want you
to tell anyone this, swear to me you won't, and
that to me, that's backstabbing. If you call up Nancy
or something you know, well, that's different. That's what I'm saying.
If you purposely do something to diminish me as a
(04:26):
person that's backstabbing.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Have you ever backstabbed anybody? I don't think.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Oh, I just did you a couple of days ago.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
What she's lucky she's in Texas.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
That was too easy. You walked into the one I
I don't. I don't knowingly backstab people. I think it sometimes.
Oh I'd like to tell this person, but I really
try not to do it, because you know, at the
end of the day, it's not really kind. And you know,
(04:57):
I want to be thought of as a kind person.
I think I am a kind person.
Speaker 2 (05:00):
So you are a kind person. And how you move
on from it? And for me, that means time because
time heals.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
Well, no forgiveness heals forgiveness sales, Yeah, I don't. Yeah,
you struggle with that, but I don't. I think once
I made the decision to forgive, then I forgive them.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Is that the same of letting it go? Let things go?
Speaker 1 (05:26):
I have let many things go with friends I have
been if something's happened, the friendship may change, but I've
let it go, meaning I'm not going to harbor it. Inviting, Yeah,
it's forgiving. I'm not going to harbor it and and
say mean things. I'm going to let it go and
live my life and be happy, because if I don't,
(05:50):
I'm just giving away my power. I'm giving away my
positivity to somebody or something else, and I'm just not
doing that.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
And holding on to negative energy.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
So, Susan, when I backstab you again next week, I
want you to remember I love you and my relationship
with you is really important in our friendship. But you
know I may backstab you next week.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Just do the front step so I could see it coming.
Please get me all right?
Speaker 1 (06:11):
So we are going to get into our fan questions today,
which you and I always love doing. Please keep him coming, folks.
I'm going to read the first one and let's see
what we have here. Okay, hi, ladies, I need to
vent lol. I've been with my boyfriend for about five months.
I'm in college and he's been out of school for
a few years. I always drive to see him because
(06:34):
he doesn't have a car, which I was fine with
for a while, but I finally got him to come
visit me for once. I was so excited, but the
second he met my friends, he started drinking to calm
the nerves and completely embarrassed me. I had a whole
day planned with my roommates, and he just made an
ass out of himself, and in his drunken state, he
(06:56):
told me that his X reached out to him and
it stressed him out. He swore he left her on
red and just wanted me to know. I was like, okay,
thanks for telling me. But I noticed him acting weird
after that, so I checked his phone. Turns out he
was planning on facetiming her that night once he got
a chance. Annoying. That is not how I would describe it,
(07:20):
but okay anyway, Yeah, so my question is this, how
do I break up with this man? Susan? Can we
just stop the question for a second, ask I break up?
Anytime I've mentioned a break he sobs and begs, to
the point where I feel so uncomfortable and trapped. I
don't even know how to put it into words. How
(07:41):
do I get through his victim complex and break this
off for good? I've been so done with this relationship
and this was the final straw. Help me get the
message across him. Please please, please, Thanks, ladies, Susan, Let's
say it together.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
This is a no brainer.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
One two three dump him him now or yesterday?
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Let's go back. So why did he need to calm
the nurse because he's meeting his girlfriend's friends, who stress
is about that?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Some people get nervous about me and other people. However,
you and I can safely say this question has so
many inherent problems. Number one, Well, getting drunk, you know,
is it just brings all sorts of problems. Anyway, he's
clearly a cheater, right, Well, he's gonna.
Speaker 2 (08:37):
Be planned to chat with her on FaceTime. So the
drunk ass, stupid ass told her about this message. First problem.
But what she's asking us is how do I get
this message? You don't have to do anything? Block is this?
It's over.
Speaker 1 (08:53):
It's over, big boy, Susan, I don't know who this is.
We're gonna call you anonymous Susan and I are going
to role play. Don't break up with.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Me, sweetie. Listen to me. Listen to me, learn from this. Okay,
this is not normal. You don't do these things and
lie about it. I'm guilty for looking at your phone.
And there's a reason I look because you're fucking guilty.
Move on, forget me.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
That is what I know.
Speaker 2 (09:21):
I wouldn't say it like that.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
You know what I would see that was way too
many words. And you who always say keep it short,
less is more, lessons more, you know what I would say,
Let's say the guy's name is Joe, Joe, I've been
an idiot taking you back, not this time by don't
let the door hit your ass on the way out,
and it'd be gone. And I think, Anonymous, you might
(09:44):
need to get a little bit of help here because
you don't want to be with him, but you take
him back. I think you may have some self esteem
issues or something else going on here.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
And she says, help me get the message across.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
We're helping her.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What helped you need? Their words? Tell him straight up?
What part do you need help? You want to do it?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Yeah? Really give us this number. We'll call him. You're done,
you're out. And you know what, Anonymous, once you dump
his ass, it's going to open your brain and your
heart to better, healthier relationships if you do the work,
if you figure out why you kept taking him back.
I mean, when we get these questions, Susan, I'm always like,
(10:25):
what is not being said or what's behind the words?
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Yes? And Kathy, you know me with the empathy thing
like it takes me forever to break up with the
guy so I can relate. However, everybody comes into your
life for a reason, a season, you know the saying,
and it's just time to accept You're not happy with
this behavior. So you could say as kindly as you
(10:54):
like or as mean as you like, but say it.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
But when she says she feels trapped, I'm like, she's
I don't know there's a word for it, and I
can't think of it right now, because she's trapping herself.
Like he's not setting a trap. She's going for a
SOB story. She's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she's
afraid to be alone. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
This whole question that you sent to us, and thank
you for doing so, is not about him. It's about you, Yes,
and that's what we want you to deal with. Look
in the mirror, talk to yourself, get it out and
say I'm better than this and I deserve better than this.
Speaker 1 (11:31):
That's right, And you know what, sometimes it's hard to
say those things. If I were me, I would keep
it short, anonymous and just say I'm done, and then
I'd spend time. I are you agree, I'd well, I'd
call I would get some help you know, a friend,
a therapist, somebody say, he help me figure out why
(11:51):
I kept jumping back into this, but I wouldn't waste
a lot of words with him.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
And just a few weeks ago, I don't know, a
month ago, I was having a yucky kind of day.
And you're the one that said, did you look at
the mirror this morning and say, I am right, I
am worth it, I am lovable, I love That's right?
You know, positive affirmation.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yes, I really believe that's true. And there's something in
this girl's life where she does something she deserves it,
or she's not living her positive best life something, So Anonymous,
get after it. We are gonna send you positive vibes.
Get it done, and then get some help to figure
out why you kept this complete fool in your life.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
And even though he cries, yes, you feel bad for him,
but you're helping him in the long run. You guys
are in college, you have a whole life. Yet now's
when you learn. Now is when you do this and
you move on from it.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Susan, she's been with this guy five months. The ink
on the ink on the first love letters barely dry.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
And she drove all the time.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
So many red flags. Get rid of him. Let us know.
We're sorry if we sound harsh. It's just that we're
old as Methuselah and we know that this is not
going to end up well for you. So get rid
of him and find a new guy and get some
help yourself, and then let us you.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
If you're looking for a release and saying do the
right thing, you just got it. Okay, yeah, exactly, Thanks
for doing it though, okay, Keath. Question number two, and
this one is from Claire. Hi, ladies, I need some advice.
(13:34):
I just found out that my ex husband is engaged.
Our divorce finalized a month ago. What do I do?
I'm honestly distraught. I don't want to be with him anymore.
We split do to the typical falling out of love
slash terrible to no sex life stuff. But this honestly
(13:57):
really hurts to make matters worse. He's in gains to
his secretary. Please just tell me some things I need
to hear right now. Thank you so much. Okay is
damn secretary? You ask?
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Oh, that's not fair, that's not fair.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
Sooner it's a month, obviously, you know where my head
at is at. He's been seeing this secretary for quite
some time.
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Okay, okay, maybe he has, maybe has not, we don't know.
Don't jump to conclusions. I mean, I'm right.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
There was it divorce six years?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
I don't know. But but here's the thing that you were.
You took the thought right out of my mouth. We
don't know how long they were separated. We don't know
any of those things. And maybe cheated, maybe didn't. That's
not the point. The question here is, Claire, you're asking
what do I do? You don't do anything. You're out
of his life.
Speaker 2 (14:53):
So he says, right here, I don't want to be
with him.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It doesn't matter if she wants to or not want.
They are too Claire, what do I do? Start dating,
go out with your girlfriends, take a trip, read a book,
take flower arranging, bake a cake, but stop thinking about
him because it's over and or two he's moved on.
(15:18):
I really don't. I'm sorry, I mean, I don't. I
don't mean to sound harsh. I'm sure that it would
be hard to hear. And I'm sure you're thinking like
Susan did.
Speaker 2 (15:27):
Yes, he's already just we just got to a divorce
a minute ago. And so you're probably, but it should
only stink for a second because remember, you didn't want
to be married to him, right, so sucked.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
I was gonna say, go find some better sex, Claire,
you know, go find go find a good time guy
for a night. It'll clear your head.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
And I get the typical falling out of love. That
that's what happens. I mean, it's not easy. I think
marriage it's not just being and love, it's being a
partner with somebody. So you weren't partners obviously, so the
love part goes away. I know because I lived through it,
(16:10):
and the sex ed this is a no brainer. I
think it's stung because number one, it was a secretary.
At number two, it came immediately after the divorce.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Well, I would get that, I would say number three,
I think what Claire isn't saying. I'm reading a little
bit between the lines here. She probably surmising, like you did, Susan,
that he went that secretary before, and that's probably what stings,
and she just doesn't want to put it down. So Claire,
if that's the case, it's sucks too. Exactly if you
(16:43):
didn't know, If you still don't know, and.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Kathy don't some divorces take a few years, so they
could have been living their own lives for a couple
of years. But because the papers came in and he's engaged,
you know what I'm saying. So it could be a
lot of things, but you want to hear us. We're
telling you it's okay.
Speaker 1 (17:02):
It's okay to feel badly, but again, it's about living
positive life. Don't spend your days feeling hurt. Go spend
your days doing something positive for yourself that way, you know, Yeah,
go do something for you and the hurt. Oh, now
(17:26):
we're getting done to it. How much mon? Did you
get clear? Come join us for a vacation. We'll make
you laugh. But thank you, and I'm really sorry. Yeah,
good luck and sorry that you feel that way. Okay.
The next question is from Nina. She writes, Hi, Kathy
and Susan, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.
(17:47):
I just found out that my best friend of ten
years has been talking shit about me behind my back
for our entire friendship. I found out because she sent
a message about me to me by accident. Then when
I blocked her from viewing my story, that's literally all
I did. Lol. She went on a rampage and started
(18:08):
making up crazy lies about me to all of our friends.
Turns out this isn't the first time she's done that.
The biggest lie I was telling every one that I
was in rehab when really I was in the hospital
dealing with some severe medical issues. My question is this,
How do I heal from this? I feel like I
can't trust anyone, and I'm spiraling. I'm away at college.
(18:31):
She's still in her hometown, so I feel so disconnected
from all of my friends there. I don't even know
if they are my friends. Any advice would be great.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Oh wow, that's sad, you know what. I know she's hurting,
but that girl karma's a bit. I feel sorry for
her for what life is going to be given her.
You don't do things like that. You don't spread lies.
It's bad enough if you're going to spread secrets the
(19:03):
backstabbing part, but to make up bold face lives. Did
I tell you that story? Because I think I did
on another podcast when I used to pray that I
would develop boobs.
Speaker 3 (19:15):
You know, yes you did at the Splash party and
that that thing went out Piccolo stoves and I came
out and bar it all, but she's not home to
defend herself.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
So do you think she should put out something on
social media to embarrass this woman or this girl or.
Speaker 1 (19:33):
Not at all. Here's what I think.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
Simply move on, Nina.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
You're young, you're in college. I get it. It stings.
You've obviously known this girl. I'm guessing it's a girl,
could be a guy. But you've known this person for
ten years, so probably since your teenage years, and to
find this out now is brutal. I would say to you, don't.
(19:59):
I would not do what Susan said. I would not
put anything out on social media. I would not put
any negativity out there because negative breeds negative. So if
I were you, I would let it go. When you
get home from college and Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, summer,
whenever it is the next time you see her, I
would have a sit down with just her and I
(20:22):
would say here's how I feel, this is what you know,
blah blah blah. Go through all of it with her
and say you really hurt my feelings and I can't
believe this happened. Do you want to be my friend,
because if you do, you can't do this again. And
let me tell you. Wait, I had an experience like
(20:42):
this with a very good friend. And I've never told
this straight before. I just just in talking about her,
it just came back to my mind. I had a
very good friend who when she would get worried about me,
she would call my kids, and of course, you know,
my husband's gone, my kids were my kids are worried
(21:04):
about me, right if something happens. And so last time
she did this and my kids panicked because they couldn't
reach me. I was out playing golf and having dinner
and I turned my phone on. Well, they thought I
was dead by the side of the road. Anyway, when
I called them back, they my children had called them
like ten times. I found out she had called all
of my children and said, I can't reach Kathy out
(21:26):
of nowhere, and she knew where I was by the way.
She I don't know why she did it, but I
called her and I said, I can tell you it
was a guy I was on a date with and
she didn't like the guy, so I don't know. So
I called her and I said, listen, you cannot ever
call my children again.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You cannot do that.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
I said, if I'm dead by the side of the road.
My children will find out if I'm in the hospital,
they will contact my children. If you want to be
my friend, you can never do this again, can you
promise that? And she said no, I can't. I said,
our friendship just ended. And okay, I'm just saying it's
short and sweet.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Where my mind's going. When she received the message about
her accidentally from this gossipy girl, she says she blocked her.
You wouldn't confront right then and there make the phone
call like whoa, I'm sure you didn't mean to send
that message to me, And why on earth would you
(22:27):
be saying.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Because she's in college.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
If I send you a message and I meant to
send it to Nancy, okay, and it was trashing you,
You're only going to block me. You're not going to
call me it and Susan.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Susan, I have it. I have a news flash. And
I hope everyone's listening very carefully. Neither you nor I,
come to think of it, Nancy either we're not in college.
We've lived a lot of life. I'm saying I could
see it where where Nina might be so hurt that
oh I just want I just want to block this.
I just want to you know, I want to forget it,
(23:04):
but clearly that doesn't work, which is why I suggested
sit down with her.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
Mind gotthy can remember when I tried to hold it
in when something happened between people we know and I
did good for like a week, and they were all
on a zoom call together, and.
Speaker 1 (23:24):
Yeah, let me just say, Susan gives great advice. She
doesn't know what's take her, she doesn't know what's follow through.
I remember this phone call. I was like, oh my god,
can we just say bats Nation needs to hear this.
They think Susan is miss sweetness, princess sweet I am, oh, really,
(23:45):
you don't have sign of you. That was wrong button exactly.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
I remember they.
Speaker 1 (23:52):
And I have the reputation of being I have a
bat at all times, and I'm exactly the opposite. So
bachsor Nation figure it out. And anyway, Nina, delivery, It's
a delivery, I know, Nina. Here's what I'm recommending that
I think Susan would agree, sit down with her when
you get home from school. If you can't resurrect, or
remediate or repair, I don't know where all those are.
(24:14):
Words just came from the friendship. Then it might be over.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
I agreed to appoint Kathy. I wouldn't give her an
opportunity to be my friend again. The damage is done,
and I personally, as I sit here while you were
talking and I'm listening to you, would probably put something
out about why I was in the hospital, not saying
she said or did anything this friend, and thank you
(24:39):
for all your well wishes. I had a severe whatever
the problem was, so that the world knew she was there,
and then the people I think she was in rehab
they might question that friend.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
They might or they might say, oh god, it's true
and she's putting up this fake story about being the mostrue.
That's why I don't say anything. I don't justify stupid,
mean rumors with the response. I just don't. People are
gonna believe what they want to believe. Her friend, What
do I always say to you? What do I always
say to you when we talk about the mean people
(25:12):
saying stuff about you.
Speaker 2 (25:13):
And me online? Wearing a bikinias get your negative thoughts
thrown at right?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Who cares what they say? I care what you think
of me because you're my friend. But if people who
don't know me on the internet, who cares, so Nina,
good luck. Let us know if you in fact do
repair the friendship.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
Well, can I say one more thing. When you get
home and you talk to those other people, not the person,
but the other people, you could bring it up and
say I was so hurt by that. I can't believe
that she told people, and maybe they get some feedback
or like, I think we never thought that.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
I think you're pitying. That's I think it's keep it
and it's pity. It's like triangulation. You're bringing other people.
I just say lessons more. I don't. I'm not gonna.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I wish I would be more like you and just
shut it down.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
I wish I wish I could be more like you
and had hair like yours that could try in thirty
seconds with the hair dryer. That's what I wish. Moving on,
all right, are you ready? We're going to play a game.
It's time for games. And you know it's as close
(26:28):
to moral quandary as we can get. No, but no, listen,
we're going to answer all your dreams. Your dream is
about to come through, Susan. You know why. We're going
to talk about what we would do. You do not
have to guess what I would do.
Speaker 2 (26:43):
This is a perfect It's.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
The Susan Show. You're going to say what you would do,
and I'm going to say what I would do. So
here goes first one dreams.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Guess that's what I said.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
It's Susan's dream day, all right? What would you do
if your first date brings up their ex multiple times
and even compares you to them. Do you call it
out or let it slide?
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Well?
Speaker 1 (27:15):
I wish off could happened.
Speaker 2 (27:16):
That's happened. That has happened, and honestly it at that time,
it was whether I was wanting to get to know
this guy or not, Like I know, within three minutes
going on a first date, whether I'm going to see
you again or not. But multiple times, like sometimes people
(27:37):
do bring it up and to compare me to somebody.
So it happened one time and he was a widow.
I felt so bad for him, Kathy by the fourth
time and I looked at him in my face, my
eyes tell all like really, and he goes, I'm so
sorry for doing this, but can I just show you?
I said, of course, I'm about to throw up in
(27:57):
my mouth, Kathy, I have and it was scary like
she was a hairdresser. She looked, we looked just alike.
Just I mean, maybe our features were a little the
hair that, the body, the height, the And he said
to me.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Wait, he is a widower. Yes, she wanted to marry
the ghost of Christmas past.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
He said. And I liked the guy a lot. I
really did. And he said to me, I don't think
I could see you. It's too much. Oh, I know,
I know.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I mean it's really good for him though, you know,
good for him for knowing.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
And like I said, I would have seen him again.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
He was a nice I think I this this an
ex a widower that's not an X that's a death right.
So this is different if your your first date for
me brings up their ex So you know, for me,
I'm out. I'm not a first state. You know, down
the road. Maybe if he was talking to me about
(29:04):
and that's another conversation, by the way, that we can
have someday, whether or not you know, how much do
you want to know about your current boyfriend.
Speaker 2 (29:12):
Exes fashion them like they're saying.
Speaker 1 (29:15):
Oh, that's a big flag. I'm saying, I don't. Someday
we're going to have this conversation about whether how much
do you want to know about your current boyfriend, of
which I don't have one, but how much you want
to know about their exes? Right? I want to know
some know a.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
Little bit of where you're coming from, but rightly details.
Everybody's got a past.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Yeah, right, So anyway I would, I would call it
out and I would let him slide right out the door.
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Your date gets a little too drunk and starts making
a scene. Do you stick it out in the night early?
Speaker 1 (29:56):
Okay? God, I can tell you my mine's a real
quick answer. I'm out the door. I do not like
a start. That's right, I'm out, goodbye, I see you.
I'm at at Susan's house.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
Who's ever closed? Okay?
Speaker 1 (30:14):
You realize you have zero chemistry, but they seem really
into you. Do you give them another date or call
it quits early? What do you do, Susan?
Speaker 2 (30:23):
I stick it out for that date, and I'm usually
a little I don't want to call myself a puss,
but I'll text them that I didn't feel what I
needed to feel, but I'm not going to go out
on another date with them. Right.
Speaker 1 (30:38):
I also would stick out the date and then if
they called me for another date. I would say, I
have a horrible case of cholera. I mean, I want
to make sure. I want to make sure, I'll I
want to make sure they don't want to be around me. God,
it's extremely and it's contagious.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Can you see the guy now asking a friends do
you know what color is? Okay? You see your friend's
partner out with someone else looking a little too cozy?
Do you tell your friend or do you stay out
of it?
Speaker 1 (31:16):
You've had this conversation, You've had this conversation, So.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
The word friend is the hard part. Like I, yeah,
I'm not kissing and telling them, but I've seen people
with their wives. Weren't my friend?
Speaker 1 (31:33):
Wait a second, I knew the if it is you,
oh no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (31:39):
If it's you mean Nancy, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah, I'm oh no, I am saying it.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Yes, if I see friend.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
Yeah, but if I just see uh, you know, a friend,
I don't know. It could be a business meaning that's
where you get yourself into trouble, you know. It could
be their cousin. It could be you know, serious, it
could be failing cousin. It could be someone in from
out of town. I never mess with that stuff.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
I don't know that I would do an immediate.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
Yeah, I don't either. I think I would keep my
mouth on your own business. Yeah, but again it depends
on how good a friend it is and how posy.
I mean, if they're sitting making out, it's probably not
a business meeting.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Okay, your tongue was down her throat. I probably would
address him before i'd address her. I'm going to give
him an out here. Point in my eyes to his eyes.
I see you, I'm watching you.
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Okay, what vachor nation? She would do it too, be
scared of suits, and she means what she says. All Right,
you agree to go to a party, but when you
get there, you realize you don't know a single person.
What's your move?
Speaker 2 (32:44):
Oh that's easy, Yeah, that's very easy.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Hey, exactly, I'm counting. Who's on old? Come on? Stop?
Speaker 2 (32:55):
Yeah? No, I don't know how long i'd stay. Depends
on the feedback from the crowd, I guess. But when
you do not know a.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Person, if you're invited to them, maybe maybe the person
you got sick or someone who knows. But I will
say you and I've talked about this as well. You
and I can both walk into a room not know
anybody and make friends and talk. And it's actually a gift,
and I'm grateful that it is. I have that gift
and you are too.
Speaker 2 (33:19):
It's and it's the smile that's warming and welcoming. People
want to know when you smile.
Speaker 1 (33:24):
Just walking with a smile. Hey, and you know what,
get people to talk about them for a little bit.
You got a new friend, it's great, all right, go ahead,
all right.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
Your friend borrowed something valuable from you and accidentally broken.
But has it mentioned it yet? Do you bring it
up or wait for them to So I'm taking it
that they've already given it back to you and you
realize it's broken. I say to me that, yo, what happens?
Speaker 1 (33:50):
You owe me? And she means it. Folks, I'm going
to be honestly, if something valuable, I'm very careful about
lending lens.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
Yes, I do borrow.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
So yeah, well you said that, but I happen to
know for a fact you do.
Speaker 2 (34:08):
What did I borrow?
Speaker 1 (34:09):
There might be when you took your last trip to
Saint Martin because you needed some additional beach cover ups.
When you went to Saint Martin.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
Oh no, that was forced. You're talking about your friend,
and let me tell you that she have some gorgeous things.
Speaker 1 (34:27):
We love our friend on this that we say we
love our friend. Don if you're listening, we love you,
all right, I I just don't lend something that valuable.
Speaker 2 (34:37):
All right, Well if you did, Pat, I want to know,
would you say, hey, I just noticed that it's broken or.
Speaker 1 (34:44):
Its I probably I probably would bring it up, yeah,
I probably nicely, kindly?
Speaker 2 (34:49):
Yes, yes, yes, okay, all right we agreed again.
Speaker 1 (34:53):
Guys, yep, we're agreeing. That's a new friend. A new
friend always forgets their wallet when you got to How
do you handle it? Oh, we've had this conversation.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Before they get there, I remind them she does.
Speaker 1 (35:06):
I swear I've heard her do it. I've paid the
last two times. Don't forget your wallet?
Speaker 2 (35:11):
That's yes, yes, I mean because then you're not going
to be friends with them anymore. If they consistently, you're
going to shy away.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
I have to tell you I have a friend. This
is how people get to know about it. These things
make us tell stories. I have a friend here, Beth,
who has a couple of friends who do not reciprocate.
And Beth is always inviting people over for dinner and
for drinks and for lunch and no, and she always no.
I always she always has me over for dinner. I
(35:42):
always bring.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
About every mind.
Speaker 1 (35:44):
And when we go out for brunch, I always stick
my credit card down and say and put hers on
mine because she always has me for dinner always. And
as people know, I don't really cook very much, so
I'm but other people don't. They let they let her
pick up the tab, and I'm like, I talk, I
keep saying that's don't be so quick with the credit card.
(36:05):
Sit back, and you know.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
He told me that, Yeah, I'm in somebody's company, Like,
oh no, I'm staying there, you know, let me.
Speaker 1 (36:13):
Ye, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. You know it is
can be uncomfortable, but you know what, you don't want
to breed resentment.
Speaker 2 (36:20):
So it's so good point.
Speaker 1 (36:22):
So let's let your credit card stay in your pocket
a little bit longer.
Speaker 2 (36:26):
Next one, is you accidentally like an old Instagram post
of someone you have a crush on it? What do
you do?
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Absolutely nothing?
Speaker 2 (36:35):
Nothing like it? You have a crush on them. Hello,
I hope you noticed or see or whoever.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah, that's oh my gosh, we're green way too much.
Speaker 2 (36:45):
It's going to be a good day, cat, all right,
all right.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
You and your partner planned a big night out, but
they cancel last minute for something that doesn't seem important. Oh, Susan,
what would you do?
Speaker 2 (36:56):
Doesn't seem important to me? Or was?
Speaker 1 (36:59):
Obviously it doesn't important to you, but they can't.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
I would definitely be disappointed. I mean, obviously you have
to accept the fact that they canceled.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
You're not going to say anything. Who are you trying
to kill?
Speaker 2 (37:11):
Why? And when you tell me that's why, I'm going
to say, really, I'm not. That depends on what the
reason was, you know, if it under way, the disappointment will.
Speaker 1 (37:21):
Be exactly I think I would do exactly the same thing,
and I would let them know. You know what, It
comes back to communicating. If I said, pay no problem,
I'm likely to say, hey, John, whoever it is, I
was really looking forward to seeing you, you know, but
that's okay, Maybe we can do it another night. It's
better to be, you know, it's it's better. It is better.
Speaker 2 (37:42):
It is better to be.
Speaker 1 (37:43):
Yeah, okay, go your significant other makes a joke about
something you're insecure about. Do you address it or brush
it off?
Speaker 2 (37:52):
Address it?
Speaker 1 (37:53):
Yeah, immediately, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And I know we're taught to wait till you get home.
Like we've read one of these questions a few weeks back,
a few episodes back, and they the husband and wife
were the couple. I don't know if they were married,
and they agreed if anything like this should happen, you
never say you just go about the party or whatever
you're at and wait till you get home. That would
(38:17):
stew in me, can be like a fire being ignited.
I would look like a dragon by the time we go.
Speaker 1 (38:24):
And she would. Folks, but they're not saying that this
that the significant other is doing in front of other people.
They're saying, you know, it's like it's like this, it's
like I'm dating or you know Joe, and Joe makes
a joke about me interrupting Hi. You know you're just
you're choking.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
You're not insecure about well.
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Actually I am. I'm trying to be better about you
know about or you know, Kathy, uh.
Speaker 2 (38:54):
Something you're insecure, man.
Speaker 1 (38:56):
I am insecure about that, or or joking like, oh,
you were the only girl at the pool with a
one piece on that was a lot of fabric that
would that I'm insecure about that, because it would be well,
here's where I's gonna say to you. People say things
and they and they they cushion it by saying, oh,
it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It is
(39:19):
not a joke. So if my significant other makes a
quote unquote joke about something I'm insecure about, you know
what that is. It's cruel. And they know what they're
doing and they're not making a joke. They're either making
fun of me or trying to make a point, and
it's not nice.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
It's not nice.
Speaker 1 (39:36):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
So, all right, you're casually dating someone and they tell
you they don't believe in tipping at restaurants. Is this
a deal?
Speaker 1 (39:44):
Can we answer in unison? Yes, let me tell you
something I think when you talk about like red flags
when I'm on a date. If they are never mind tipping,
they are not kind to the server, bending over backwards.
(40:05):
Two of my three children were servers and restaurants, so
I always tip close, you know, way over twenty percent
because they work their tails off and I'm always.
Speaker 2 (40:14):
They're not good. Yes, they're giving me no service. They'll
give the minimal, but they get it tip.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
And I tell you why. You need to tip them
the right amount. This is my PSA. No, you need
to tip the customary total amount. Here's the deal.
Speaker 2 (40:29):
No, you keep a certain percentage twenty percent of them.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Okay, And you're saying, if they're rude, you give them
less than twenty.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
Now, I always tip the minimum, the basic. Oh so
you're saying, somebody treats me well and I noticed because
I was a server as well once fun a time.
Then they get not double, but way more.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, you questioned it because you appreciate it.
Speaker 1 (40:49):
Okay, So here's a question that was on here. But
you know, not not all tips are. If it's cash,
they don't have to claim them. All you tip in
cash or credit.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I tried to yes, in kat, chip and cash.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
So what I'll try You know what I tried to
do because they split the tips with the with the bartender.
Yeah yeah, yeah right, So if I so, I'll usually
put it on the check because I wanted to get
split with everyone that helped prepare my meal. But you
know what I'll do sometimes when I walk out, I'll
take like a ten dollars bill out of my wall.
(41:24):
Depends on the price of the and just say shake
their hand and say thank you so much. It was
a delight having you serve and hand them, and that
money is meant to go to them, and they know it.
Speaker 2 (41:34):
And you know, when we all go out, when all
the girls are together, we all throw cards down and
we add the tip to the car and.
Speaker 1 (41:39):
We always over we as a group always leave a
big tip, because that's the kind thing to do, round
fine thing to do. All Right, you're on a date
and your date says something you completely disagree with, but
you still like them. Do you challenge them or change
the subject? Oh? Come on, guess well this last wait,
let's just guess what the other one would do.
Speaker 2 (42:00):
Susan do.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
What would Susan do? I would say the same thing,
Kathy's gonna do.
Speaker 2 (42:05):
We challenge, we challenge. Yes, I would have won the moral.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Susan. Susan, I'm going to tell the producers we want
to go back to moral quandary.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Because no, no, no, don't get excited. Do not get excited.
But I think we did well. This game worked for us.
Speaker 1 (42:23):
This game works so well for us. I just want
to know. I just wonder before we wrap it up,
and we only have a couple of minutes here, Okay, okay,
So one of the most I just want to say
one of the things I love. I haven't had a
chance to say this yet. One of the things I
love about Bachelor Nation is when we have people on
the podcast, we get to know them and we get
(42:44):
new friends. And can I just tell you Ali, Joe
and Julianna, Like, I have Juliana's phone number now, She's like,
we're the Newton girls. They're so nice. I feel like
I've made new friends.
Speaker 2 (42:58):
I know, I've just in the past guys that we
had I think we knew them from the show, but
getting to talk to them and digging in and.
Speaker 1 (43:08):
Yeah, I just I just want everyone to know that
we're the friendships were blessed, and the friendships that we
make through Bachelor are really friends. It crosses age lines though.
I just feel so grateful to be making all these friends.
All right. So that's that's the PSA. This was so
much fun.
Speaker 2 (43:28):
And thank you, sir God, Yes people, we.
Speaker 1 (43:32):
Love you all. Thank you all to our listeners, uh
for joining in and listening to us today, because without
you and your questions and your comments, we'd have nothing.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour
because you know us, we have a new one coming
at every week and you don't want to miss. I mean, really,
for Kathy and I to agree on just about everything today,
that's a win.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
That is a win. Although maybe they want to hear
us argue Susan, here's the thing we do. We don't agree.
We could really dial it up, but in the meantime,
please submit your questions, your comments, all of it. Go
bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us
on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2 (44:19):
And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. We'll
see you next time.
Speaker 1 (44:26):
Take care,
Hosts And Creators
Joe Amabile
Susan Noles
Serena Pitt
Kathy Swarts
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.