May 2, 2024 • 34 mins
Today on “Golden Hour,” Kathy and Susan are back for another listener write-ins episode. We get into all things dating. From controlling boyfriends to “almost” divorced dates, we are diving into it all — and Kathy and Susan have lots of great advice.
Tune in now to hear all this and more, and be sure to follow so you never miss an episode!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We're back,
We're here, and we're so glad that you've joined us today.
Thank you, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yes we are And if you haven't listened to our
episode from Wednesday, check it out. We had our really
dear friend Nancy from The Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
She was awesome. Nancy is always awesome. She is just
the kindest, sweetest, pretty person and so pretty.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yes, and she's young, and she's really young. Yet don't
rub it ind Susan, I'm telling you, don't rub it in.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
She's she is. You know, we talked to her a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I love how she opened up and shared with us
about diabetes, the one tooth thing that she's getting her if.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She went, you know what, But here's the thing about Nancy,
and she said it. She wears hearing aids. She's talked
about that on the show. She has candy, she has cansling,
she has she has diabetes, she has some has a
tooth that needs to But you know what, none of
it gets her down. She is still looking for love.
(01:13):
She's still so positive. She doesn't look for reasons not
to engage in life. She's always looking to engage. And
I love that and she's fun. She's fun to be with.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
On vacation, we were a blast of three of us.
Somebody out there is going to sweep her up.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
You just wait, wait, can we just go back? We
didn't talk about it on the podcast with her. Do
you remember when we were leaving Saint Martin, Oh my god,
the flood Wait, she was at the back of the car.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
The poor girl couldn't get a word in edgeways, and
people wrote that in too.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Nancy got to speak up. She she we were driving,
it was pouring rain and flights were being canceled and
Nancy is just freaking out thinking. I was laughing because
my flight back to Austin was fine, no problem, not delayed.
Susan's got a phone in each hand to a flight myself,
so me, it was no big deal. A one, Yeah,
(02:04):
she's booking. He's like, can't get home. I'm going to
be stuck here by myself. It was so it was funny.
It really was funny. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
So today we're answering questions from fans who have written
in asking for advice, and like always, we do have
some good ones, and don't forget if you have a
question for Kathy and I reach out. Go to bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour. You know, it was really
interesting Nancy sharing with us. After Daisy sharing about.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Her career, yeah, her colient plan, Nancy all of a
sudden shared about what's going on with her. And so
what I find really interesting in that is she wasn't
really comfortable. We knew because we shared a room with
her at the mansion, but she wasn't really comfortable sharing
with people about having diabetes. And now she's very comfortable,
(02:57):
attributed to Daisy. But you know what, Susan, I think
the reason she didn't want to share it before was
she thought that people people judge her or think there's
something wrong with her, or she's not worthy of dating,
or she'd be too much trouble today and she is
that's crazy because so many people have that issue. And
she's OK, it's okay, and she said that, you know,
(03:20):
she told us she dated a guy who broke up
with her.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But the interesting point here is she gave credit to
Daisy speaking out. That's what gave her the courage to speak.
And you know what that does me all of us,
all of us speaking out makes it okay.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And also us old dog can learn from young puppies.
They always learn. I learned every single day. I'm alive.
All right, Well, today we're today, we're moving on and
we're going to be answering questions from fans who have
written in asking for advice, and like always, we have
got some really good ones today. Don't forget if you
have a question for Susan and me, please reut go
(04:00):
to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. Yes, please
don't forget to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But first, let's get started with today's question of the day.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, I think we should have some fun with this
one today, Susan, we've talked a lot about meeting men
on dating apps, So here's the question. If we could
do give a man three things they should absolutely not
do so that they could have a first date.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh, I hope there's men paying attention out there. I
know the number one thing. Go well two, give us
one first current pictures and don't take them in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
That's two.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That's two, Okay Current, I got more than three. Okay,
I've got a couple here too.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I like that. Mine is if you're bald, celebrated, enjoy it.
Don't wear a baseball cap and then make it worse
by turning around awards. Do not, under any circumstances hold
up dead fish and a can of beer. Oh god,
I know one like that.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
But going back to if you're being bald, as long
as they're showing more than one picture, because a lot
of bald men don't want the sun on their head,
and they do wear caps a lot. So if they're
showing a picture of them doing an activity or what
have you, they're going to have that on right as
long as there is other pictures showing who you really are.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I got it. Okay, guys, listen up. A lot of
us like bald men, so don't hide it. I don't
know about you, but I think when a guy holds
up a dead fish, it's always a big long fish.
Are you trying to advertise something that takes skill? Do?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It does? No? I know it doesn't. I think they're
advertising something else when they're whole up. Guys, it's not attractive.
Don't do it selfiees in the bathroom. I mean, with
just a note. It's gross. They're shape. It's just it's wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And at fifty plus years of age. If you're still
living in your mind basement, that's not a good thing
to start with.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, and the other one, I'm not sure you're going
to greet me on this one, Susan. We said top
three should have been the top thirty. Please put a
shirt on when you take a picture. Please, no towels,
I mean the low towls. All right, let's do the opposite. Okay, Okay, okay.
What could we help them with with their profile? Talk
(06:24):
about the things you love to do and what you're
looking for in a partner. Okay, anything else? Oh, there's
lots more, But what do you think? I agree with that?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And just be honest, be honest, don't lie about your age,
be honest. No, I've been known because after sixty I'm
going to admit it, after sixty years old. I was
sixty one, and all of a sudden, the people they
would send you on the site that match with you
were like, I'm young at heart, and I know a
(06:54):
lot of people are. However, when I go to meet somebody,
it's the very first thing out of my mouth. And
it was only three years. But now I don't go
on dating sites because.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm sixty seven. Oh my god, so so my kids.
This is true. Sorry kids, if you're listening, My kids
told me to lie about my age everybody. My daughter
Caitlin said, Mom, you're so funny, like they don't look
on you act young. But you know what, and we're
telling them not to don't lie because you're starting a
relationship right with a lie. If you'll lie about that,
(07:26):
what I.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Mean, if it's a couple of years and you go
to meet them, tell the truth right then.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, okay, okay everyone, if you're listening, I'm sixty years old.
That's too big of a lie. Oh now we're exciting.
What's too big of a lie?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Just have current pictures, full body pictures. People like I've
heard a lot of stories, a lot of stories, men
and women both that they go and they've chatted with
somebody for a few days or weeks online and then
they talked on the phone and they go to meet
and the person shows up and they look nothing like
they did in their heads.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Shuts, you know, be real, be real. Can I just
say something that guys on a first date do what
Joey did on The Bachelor. Listen, listen, show some interest.
We don't need to hear everything that happened in your
life from the cradle. Ask Sometimes that's nerves.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I get that, but always ask about the person sitting
next to you. Don't just keep going on and on
about your life and what you do and so on.
Have you imagine Kathy for either one of us after
being on the show. Of course, we're going to have
more to say because of our experience, and they're going
to ask questions about it. But don't forget to stop,
pause and say what about you?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Sue me about who was Susan? Yeah, I'm stuck for
what you just said thirty seconds ago. We only have
a lot to say since being on the show. We
always have a lot. You gotta be kidding me. But
I learned how to listen. That's true, and listening is
so important. All right, let's move on. We've got some
great questions today. The first one comes from Chris from Arizona,
(09:01):
and she says, Susan and Kathy, my best friend and
I are both in committed relationships and still enjoy the
frequent girls' night out as you should. As you should,
we love to get all dressed up together, take cute picks,
drink cocktails and go dancing. Recently, I've noticed that she's
(09:21):
been wearing a different style of clothes. She's more covered
up and wears less makeup. When I asked her about it,
she said that her man told her that she shouldn't
get all dressed up for anyone but him. It makes
me sad she hasn't been acting like her normal, bubbly
self since she started dressing differently. Should I try to
(09:43):
encourage her to wear whatever she wants or will I
just get myself in between a relationship that I have
no place in?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Well, I could be off here, but the first thing
that comes to mind is that man seems very controlling
what I was going to say, and maybe he's got
the fear in her that she's doing exactly what he says.
On the other hand, was she dreckoning dressing two sexy
(10:11):
or two what's too sexy?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I don't know. But when you're in a relationship, I
just can't. I just can't.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
She needs to be who she is exact and no man,
and I repeat, no man will ever tell you how
to dress, how to walk, how to talk, or how
to be.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
You are who you are and he should love you
for that. And Carissa, if you're a good friend, you
need to explain that to her and tell her and
stand by her because they're not me even married, I
committed relationship and he's controlling her. Now, what's that going
to look like?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I noticed that she said she doesn't seem herself. That
could be an abusive thing. I would dig a little.
If you really care about her, I would dig in
and see what's making her tick, what's doing this?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I hate to say it, Susan, but it also could
be a confidence issue. How many people have we spoken
to young women who just say they don't have the confidence.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But she was wearing cool clothes and now all of
a sudden he says something and she's not.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Right because maybe she's not maybe she's not confident in their.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Relationship, telling her bad things like you don't look good
in that or once again, abusive relationship.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I would check into it. I would definitely Chrissa, you're
a nice friend. Chrissa, you are definitely a good friend.
And you know what, if you're worried about getting in
the relationship in between them, don't don't because sometimes it's
hard to hear things. But if believe me, if you're
seeing it, she's thinking it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And if you're a really, really true friend and she
knows that and she's your friend, she'll understand. Yeah, just
be kind and gentle about it, but definitely delivery.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
It comes down to delivery again, all right.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Question number two. Joan from Nevada sent us this. Hi, ladies,
I love your podcast so far, Thank you and look
forward to listening to it every week. So thank you
for being you. I am a sixty five year old woman.
I have been divorced for about ten years. I recently
started dating a man I met at the gym. He's
(12:20):
handsome and kind and really swept me off my feet.
We have been seeing each other for about two months.
Last week at dinner, I'm a little bit jealous right now, Okay,
he mentioned the fact, oh god, that he is still married.
He has always referred to his wife as his ex,
(12:43):
but he explained to me that they never legally divorced.
I'm truthfully not sure how I feel about this. I
would never knowingly date a married man. However, I also
don't want to stop seeing him at this point.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Do you have any advice?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well, yes, I do, because some people don't do the
final thing, divorce at first. It takes sometimes years, as
long as you don't think he's cheating and they're not
actively married in the same household. But I've known people
that have gone years and not finished the paperwork, if
(13:22):
you will.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
So, okay, yeah, I'm going to be a little bit
tougher on this one. M h. You are dating a
married man. I don't care if it's legal. It's not
his ex wife, it's his wife. It's his wife now.
He may not love her, there may not be any
intimacy in their relationship. All of that may be true, but.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And he's out on his own I live in his
own life where she doesn't really say.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
She doesn't say. I'm assuming they live separately, But I
think she has to think about what does she want
because she's in love with him and wants to marry
him at some point. She's sixty five, she's been divorced
ten years. If she's looking for a permanent relationship, it's
not happening unless she's a big of mis.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
My only concern is you've been seeing him for two months.
That's something I would have announced on the first meet.
Just no, I am not legally divorced. We have separate lives.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay, I'm going to I'm going to come clean here. Honesty,
I think is the best. Are you ready. Yeah, the
only guy I dated seriously since my husband passed away.
I dated him for about ten months. He was legally married,
he was getting divorced. They were living in separate homes.
(14:44):
They were separated. They clearly were not getting back together.
But that's my story. For a long time I dated man.
But here's the difference. She said, you know, I don't
know how I feel about this. I would never knowing
the data married man. I knew the guy I was
ditting was married, but he was going through the process
(15:04):
of a divorce. That's the difference here. He's not going
through it.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
How do you know he's not going through She just
he says, ever legally divorced.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
So they're not going through a divorce. They've never legally divorced.
That's the difference. And if her expectation is a marriage
or moving in together or any of those things, that's
not going to feel really comfortable when they're legally you know,
let me say this to you, darlin, you are not
going to be filing a joint tax return with that guy.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Not that you want to anyhow, I think, honestly, it's
up to you. It's how you feel about it. If
he's being honest and sincere and say his I won't
call her her ex. His wife on paper has moved
on and she might be in a relationship. It could
come down to financial reasons. So look into it, don't
jump talk about it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah good, All right, let's go with question number three.
Martin wrote, Kathy and Susan, I really love your podcast.
Thank you, Martin. I love everybody like that. Thank you, Martin.
I'm a seventy four year old man living in New Jersey.
My neighbor my wife, hey might be single. My wife
of more than fifty Oh, my wife of more than
(16:16):
fifty years passed away about four months ago after a
long battle with breast cancer. Yeah, she was the only
woman I had ever been with. Recently, I met a
woman at a nearby coffee shop, and I would really
like to ask her out. I have three adult children,
and at dinner one night, I broached the subject with
my two daughters. They were incredibly upset that I would
(16:40):
even consider dating this soon after their mom passed. I
don't want them to feel that way, but I also
want to live my life. Who knows how many good
years I have left? How would you handle this situation
with your children? Well, I can jump right in because
I've had this situation. Well it's only been four month.
First of all, Yeah, Martin, condolences, I'm losing your wife.
(17:03):
That's really that's tough. I would say that she's only
been gone four months and there's nothing wrong in dating her.
I'm not sure I would have broached it to my
kids this early. I might have just gone out with
her for a little bit and then, I honestly do
(17:24):
think because I've lived this after if you really are
interested in her, you know, down the road, let's call
it six eight months, and you really want her to
be a part of your life, then it's time to
talk to your children. When you say how many good
years do you have left? Don't rush into something. Well,
(17:44):
you never know how long you have left.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And I do agree with the four months is a
little soon, especially to tell your kids. I would keep
it between you and that person for quite some time
until they're ready.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
They might never be ready.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And you're not replacing the mom, You're just having your
significant other, your person to share the latter years of
life with I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I really don't.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I just don't know that I would celebrate it to
my children.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
That's yeah, I will say, Martin, you do deserve We
all deserve love, we all deserve happiness. And I wish
you the best with this woman. We both do. But
I think you just got to slow your role a
little bit. You're seventy four, you don't think.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Slow your role. I still think he could meet her
and be with her. Just slow how you tell your children?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Right? You agree with you? I do, But I also
think you, if you're in good health, you know, don't
be rushing into anything. Just take your time. I guess
that's what I'm saying. Take your time and wait for
the right one. If this is the right one, great,
But your kids are it's going to take some getting
used to.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
He just wants to ask around. I don't think he's
been seeing her yet. Read that I would really like
to ask her out. So he asked the kids, Oh,
you're right, was okay to ask?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh? God, Martin, you're a good man, you're a good member.
Ask Martin. You do not need to ask your children's
permission to do anything. You are a grown ass man.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Enjoy it and I hope she's a good lady and
we wish you the best. Yes, and if anybody has
questions for us, we want to hear them. Please go
to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. You may even
be featured on our podcast. Okay, so Kathy o'millie asks
about the Bachelor Golden Hour. Is it a red flag
(19:37):
when a man is emotionally unavailable in a relationship? And
what have you done in relationships where you feel like
you are more in touch with your emotions than your partner?
And lastly, how do you support those who can't express
themselves as well? Oh that's a lot to me. It
(19:58):
is a red flag. I mean, you can't change a person.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Some people are not in touch with their emotions like
others are. If they're emotionally unavailable, then I don't believe
they're ready for a relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
You know, they talk about an EQ emotional quotient. If
this guy doesn't have the ability to be vulnerable with
his emotions, and that's something really important to you, I
would say it's more than a red flag. It's a
done deal.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I'm very in touch with my emotions and men
don't express it as much as women, I'd say. But
bottom line is if he's not able or unavailable.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I think it's something they could talk about, right.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, but it's it is a red flag. That was
our question, And yes, I agree, it's a red flag.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
I would call it. I would call it a waving
red flag. It's jumping up there. This person awesome also
asked how do you support those who can't express themselves
as well? I think you'd be their friend.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And share with them, like, there's nothing wrong with expressing
some feeling, like do you feel a certain way about things?
Maybe they don't even understand they could have had a
life that their family didn't show feelings.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You know, Yeah, I think what you said at the
top was exactly it. You know, you can only do yourself.
You can only worry about yourself. You can change yourself.
You can't change other people. You can support them by
being their friend and listening. But Millie, you are not
going to change someone who is emotionally unavailable into a
person who is emotionally available. Okay, Can I squeeze one
(21:47):
more in before your last one? Sure?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
If there's one thing you could change about your Golden
Bachelor experience in the mansion. What would you have changed
or done differently?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Kath? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Nothing, I would have changed some of the lighting in
the bathroom or no, well that's not what they're asking.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I mean, as we've talked about,
I got a lot of press from saying zip. But
you know, Teresa and I are friends. I mean, it's
just I am who I am. Change anything? Yeah, you
and I are who we are and that's why we
have such a good time. Okay, on all right? Jason asked,
(22:35):
This is gonna be a tough one. Jason asked, Hello,
Kathy and Susan. Hi, Jason, Hi, Jason. I am curious
about your thoughts on Paula Moury Polly Amory. Polly Amory,
my wife and I opened our relationship a few years
ago and it's been working really well for us, but
(22:56):
we are afraid to tell our parents due to fear
of judgment. I would I would love your perspective on
it all because you are from our parents generation. Would
you be supportive if your kid was in an happy
and healthy, open relationship. Thank you for your insight.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Some things are left to be private. I don't want
to judge you, but no, I would not tell your
parents like they're not going to get it.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know. I don't know how I feel about that.
I think that if your parents I have a son
who's gay and I love him, I don't judge him.
I think if your parents are going to judge you,
it's only maybe because polyamori is not as accepted a detail.
(23:45):
So if you're in a polyamorous relationship and it's working
for you, I don't think it's as mainstream as you know,
the LGBTQ community or heterosexual community. But I think that
that people who judge those kinds of relationships they need
(24:07):
to step back. I think you're right maybe keeping it
to yourself for your parents.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You're afraid to tell your parents, you should be yes,
don't tell them?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Well when when? Second? What? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? What if?
Let's play this one out. Okay, I've got a kid
he's in a polyamorous relationship. I don't. But let's say
he does, okay, or she and they bring home. Let's
let's say, you know, my son brings home, you know,
(24:36):
Joe one week and Sam the next week. What do
I think, what am I going to think she's a prostitute.
I mean, let's just say it for what it is.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
This I'm taking it for the other week. Right, he's married,
they have their own life. They want to share this.
They're asking our advice because they're old school life. I'm sorry,
it doesn't say their marig's been working. Really, my wife
and I opened our relationship a few years all right.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
So I can't read give me a break. Okay, you
know what that I even think more strongly if if you.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Want to tell your mom and dad, it's like telling
ARMIEMI or pop up or not. Yeah, you know what,
keep it at home, honey, enjoy your life. I'm not
judging you, but don't tell.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So, okay, Susan, we're gonna play this again. Okay, now
we know it's his wife. Yes, Okay, the coming to suit, Auntie, Mimi,
whatever you go by. We're gonna have a spaghetti dinner.
Yeah right, he brings. He brings the wife Julie with him.
The next week he wants to bring Susie. He's married.
He brings Julie every time. You know what, You're not
(25:44):
going to see your kid ever again? Why? Because he
can't keep it straight when he's with Julie and when
he's with the other one. Look what he's asking.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
We are afraid to tell our parents due to the
fear of judgment. They want our perspective. I'm pretty open minded.
You I want just you and your wife. I don't
want to know about the other people. That's all he asked.
I told, Okay, so you are you? You the one
who always says you don't judge.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I'm not judging. Oh you're not judging, Kathy. Hear my words.
Don't tell me you're judging to me bad.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Asking my opinion of if he should tell his parents.
But he's afraid they're going to judge him. I'm not
judging him. Knock yourself out.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
What he's asking what Look read the question together.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I am afraid to tell our parents due to fear
of judge.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
And if you don't believe that they would be judged
by the parents, you they do believe they'd be judged
by their parents, and they're not going to get it.
And you just said you wouldn't let them come for dinner.
You're judging, admit it. No no, no, no, no no. Would
you let your son come with his wife one weekend,
his girlfriend the next.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Now, then you're judging. Okay, what's not judging. I'm not
condemning what they're doing. Hear me, Katy, pay attention.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Hear me. You do what you do, I'll honor it.
I'm not judging. You have a ball.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
But when it comes to your elderly parents, they don't
get this, and I just think some things are better
left unsaid.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Okay, they don't have to say it. Just show up
with her all of a sudden. Kathy's cool, too cool
for school. I'm just saying he said that's he said.
We're up their generation. I would not want my child
to keep something like that from me.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So everybody, if you have a question for us, we
do want to hear it. Even if we disagree, we
agree to disagree. Go to Bachelor Nation dot com slash
Golden Hour. You may even be featured on our podcast. Okay, Susan,
you know how we love to play games. Yes, okay,
we're gonna do one today. It's it's the game that
we call moral quandary. Okay, one of us will read
(27:52):
a quandary and when we each then we each have
to try to guess what the other would do in
the situation, you ready, I think?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
So? Okay, all right, Susan. Yes, you are flying from
New York to LA and you have an aisle seat.
A mother and her young child are sitting next to you.
You can tell the mom is struggling with the fussy toddler,
and the woman remarks that her husband is sitting in
a few rows back in a middle seat. Susan's gonna
(28:23):
be tossing the kid over. But okay, I'm not taking
a million. Do you give up your aisle so the
family can sit together? No, but I'll have the kid
on my lap. I'm like a kid mag that I'll
make them happy and stop crying. I'll give them things,
I'll help with the kid. That's not what she's asking.
Would you give up your seat? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
See selfish, that's it selfish, not selfish. I don't do
middle seats. I had to do one not too long ago,
for five and a half hours.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I was not happy. Can I just tell you, let's
be clear, you don't do aisle seats. You do windows
so you can put your head against the missile too.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
So yeah, I mean, if it was really really bad
and the father was the only one that could do it. Okay, maybe,
but normally no, I would just try to give the
mom a hand. But let me guess, Kath, you're going
to give up the seat a large and go sit
in the middle of two people for six hours?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Nope, no, not even a little bit. She is just
like me. I got to tell you. I was on
a flight recently to La. Yeah, two rows back, it's
almost I think I wrote this question. There was a
mother with her husband sitting a row ahead. Huh, and
the kid was screaming, you know, past the kid to
(29:36):
the husband. No. No, he was sitting with the older child,
she had the younger one. The flat attendant kept coming
by and saying, can I get you or anything? I said, yeah,
I'm muzzle it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Why not give the child to the father halfway through?
I don't give me a break. Why do mothers always.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Have to do it? I don't know, but I'm not
picking up my seat, you know what.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I do feel sorry for them. I mean, obviously they
have to get somewhere and you have to take kids.
And whether the child not feeling good or just a fussbucket.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Great, Susan, Susan, I do anything to any Wait, wait,
he'll do anything. Give up your seat. Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Kathy, the cashier at Nordstroms is talking on her phone
and made you wait about five minutes before ringing you up.
When she finally does you realize she doesn't charge you
for one of the sweaters you're buying?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Do you tell her?
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I don't think you'd get as far as letting her
ring you up without a comment.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Who were you talking to? Really? You're making me wait?
I don't think so, lady, Okay, but do you think
I would tell her she didn't ring up one of
the sweaters? Yeah, without a doubt. That's actually happened to making.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Yeah, because they're going to be responsible for it. It's
just like stealing, straight up steal.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
That's exactly what it's a I literally went back to
the grocery store once when they didn't charge me for
a gallon of milk? How did you even know? Because
I looked at my receipt and I went home. Did
you ever leave? And underneath the card I had like
a case of water or something. I always I always
always go back. I don't want I got enough things
to have a kilo. I'm going to guess you I
(31:07):
would have either walked away within those five minutes that
I was waiting, or call me rude. But I would
have been nice about excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
But you wouldn't say that's not your boss on the phone,
that you should be waiting on me. I have issues
about today's people, the younger generation. They're almost rude a
lot of people when they're working for you know, I'm
sure pennies.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Wait, are you generalizing that all the younger are not all? No?
Absolutely no, don't put words in my mouth. That's not good.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
But if somebody's standing there waiting and you're having a
personal phone call for five minutes, five minutes is a
lifetime when you're standing there idle, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, I'm going to say something. I'm probably gonna say something,
but I'm not stealing a sweat and I deal with sweat.
Excuse me, babe.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Not only are you rude and made me wait five minutes, now,
you're not even ringing it up.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Correct? Do I get this on the house. I would
make sure they knew they gave it to me. You're
two funny, all right, here's the next one. You're a
party and a couple hands you their iPhone, to show
you pictures of their new house. You scroll too far
and see naked pictures of them? Do you say anything?
Hell yeah, I'll be like, yeah, checking out, don't you
(32:18):
look good? What do you think I would do? Swipe?
You think I would just keep triping that you'd say
something when you damn right? I would like, look at it.
I mean I'd probably hold it up to the party.
Look what I found. I would know you if you
ever did that to me, then then don't put those
kind of pictures on your phone. You put them on Really,
(32:40):
a couple has their own do the old fashioned thing.
Get a photo album. Oh, for God's thanked up, come
up with the time.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
It's called photo vault, a photo this way, somebody can't
accidentally see those things.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
You know what, I would say, how embarrassing though, right
it would be, you know if it was their kids
looking like mom, oh if it were my kids, drop
the phone and run all right? All right? So la,
So I think, actually, this does it again. These episodes
seem to go so fast.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I have such a good time to share with you all.
And that does it for this episode. Thank you so
much for joining us today on Bachelor Happy Hours.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Golden Hour. We love this. You're absolutely right. This is
fun for us and we love hearing from you guys,
and we really want you to follow us on our
Bachelor Happy Hour Golden Hour because new episodes come out
every week.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Make sure to submit your questions to us because as
you see, we read them all and I can't wait
till a voice one come so that we can air
it and have you on our podcast. Go to Bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour to send them in. Plus,
don't forget if you do have that friend that is
looking for somebody, send them.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Our way and we'll check them out. And listen to
Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app app
or wherever you listen to podcasts. But first send those
guys our way. H
Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We're back,
We're here, and we're so glad that you've joined us today.
Thank you, Kathy.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Yes we are And if you haven't listened to our
episode from Wednesday, check it out. We had our really
dear friend Nancy from The Golden Bachelor.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
She was awesome. Nancy is always awesome. She is just
the kindest, sweetest, pretty person and so pretty.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Yes, and she's young, and she's really young. Yet don't
rub it ind Susan, I'm telling you, don't rub it in.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
She's she is. You know, we talked to her a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:44):
I love how she opened up and shared with us
about diabetes, the one tooth thing that she's getting her if.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
She went, you know what, But here's the thing about Nancy,
and she said it. She wears hearing aids. She's talked
about that on the show. She has candy, she has cansling,
she has she has diabetes, she has some has a
tooth that needs to But you know what, none of
it gets her down. She is still looking for love.
(01:13):
She's still so positive. She doesn't look for reasons not
to engage in life. She's always looking to engage. And
I love that and she's fun. She's fun to be with.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
On vacation, we were a blast of three of us.
Somebody out there is going to sweep her up.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
You just wait, wait, can we just go back? We
didn't talk about it on the podcast with her. Do
you remember when we were leaving Saint Martin, Oh my god,
the flood Wait, she was at the back of the car.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
The poor girl couldn't get a word in edgeways, and
people wrote that in too.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Nancy got to speak up. She she we were driving,
it was pouring rain and flights were being canceled and
Nancy is just freaking out thinking. I was laughing because
my flight back to Austin was fine, no problem, not delayed.
Susan's got a phone in each hand to a flight myself,
so me, it was no big deal. A one, Yeah,
(02:04):
she's booking. He's like, can't get home. I'm going to
be stuck here by myself. It was so it was funny.
It really was funny. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
So today we're answering questions from fans who have written
in asking for advice, and like always, we do have
some good ones, and don't forget if you have a
question for Kathy and I reach out. Go to bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour. You know, it was really
interesting Nancy sharing with us. After Daisy sharing about.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
Her career, yeah, her colient plan, Nancy all of a
sudden shared about what's going on with her. And so
what I find really interesting in that is she wasn't
really comfortable. We knew because we shared a room with
her at the mansion, but she wasn't really comfortable sharing
with people about having diabetes. And now she's very comfortable,
(02:57):
attributed to Daisy. But you know what, Susan, I think
the reason she didn't want to share it before was
she thought that people people judge her or think there's
something wrong with her, or she's not worthy of dating,
or she'd be too much trouble today and she is
that's crazy because so many people have that issue. And
she's OK, it's okay, and she said that, you know,
(03:20):
she told us she dated a guy who broke up
with her.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
But the interesting point here is she gave credit to
Daisy speaking out. That's what gave her the courage to speak.
And you know what that does me all of us,
all of us speaking out makes it okay.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
And also us old dog can learn from young puppies.
They always learn. I learned every single day. I'm alive.
All right, Well, today we're today, we're moving on and
we're going to be answering questions from fans who have
written in asking for advice, and like always, we have
got some really good ones today. Don't forget if you
have a question for Susan and me, please reut go
(04:00):
to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour. Yes, please
don't forget to do that.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
But first, let's get started with today's question of the day.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Okay, I think we should have some fun with this
one today, Susan, we've talked a lot about meeting men
on dating apps, So here's the question. If we could
do give a man three things they should absolutely not
do so that they could have a first date.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
Oh, I hope there's men paying attention out there. I
know the number one thing. Go well two, give us
one first current pictures and don't take them in the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
That's two.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
That's two, Okay Current, I got more than three. Okay,
I've got a couple here too.
Speaker 1 (04:49):
I like that. Mine is if you're bald, celebrated, enjoy it.
Don't wear a baseball cap and then make it worse
by turning around awards. Do not, under any circumstances hold
up dead fish and a can of beer. Oh god,
I know one like that.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
But going back to if you're being bald, as long
as they're showing more than one picture, because a lot
of bald men don't want the sun on their head,
and they do wear caps a lot. So if they're
showing a picture of them doing an activity or what
have you, they're going to have that on right as
long as there is other pictures showing who you really are.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
I got it. Okay, guys, listen up. A lot of
us like bald men, so don't hide it. I don't
know about you, but I think when a guy holds
up a dead fish, it's always a big long fish.
Are you trying to advertise something that takes skill? Do?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:41):
It does? No? I know it doesn't. I think they're
advertising something else when they're whole up. Guys, it's not attractive.
Don't do it selfiees in the bathroom. I mean, with
just a note. It's gross. They're shape. It's just it's wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
And at fifty plus years of age. If you're still
living in your mind basement, that's not a good thing
to start with.
Speaker 1 (06:03):
Okay, and the other one, I'm not sure you're going
to greet me on this one, Susan. We said top
three should have been the top thirty. Please put a
shirt on when you take a picture. Please, no towels,
I mean the low towls. All right, let's do the opposite. Okay, Okay, okay.
What could we help them with with their profile? Talk
(06:24):
about the things you love to do and what you're
looking for in a partner. Okay, anything else? Oh, there's
lots more, But what do you think? I agree with that?
Speaker 2 (06:33):
And just be honest, be honest, don't lie about your age,
be honest. No, I've been known because after sixty I'm
going to admit it, after sixty years old. I was
sixty one, and all of a sudden, the people they
would send you on the site that match with you
were like, I'm young at heart, and I know a
(06:54):
lot of people are. However, when I go to meet somebody,
it's the very first thing out of my mouth. And
it was only three years. But now I don't go
on dating sites because.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm sixty seven. Oh my god, so so my kids.
This is true. Sorry kids, if you're listening, My kids
told me to lie about my age everybody. My daughter
Caitlin said, Mom, you're so funny, like they don't look
on you act young. But you know what, and we're
telling them not to don't lie because you're starting a
relationship right with a lie. If you'll lie about that,
(07:26):
what I.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Mean, if it's a couple of years and you go
to meet them, tell the truth right then.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Okay, okay, okay everyone, if you're listening, I'm sixty years old.
That's too big of a lie. Oh now we're exciting.
What's too big of a lie?
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Just have current pictures, full body pictures. People like I've
heard a lot of stories, a lot of stories, men
and women both that they go and they've chatted with
somebody for a few days or weeks online and then
they talked on the phone and they go to meet
and the person shows up and they look nothing like
they did in their heads.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Shuts, you know, be real, be real. Can I just
say something that guys on a first date do what
Joey did on The Bachelor. Listen, listen, show some interest.
We don't need to hear everything that happened in your
life from the cradle. Ask Sometimes that's nerves.
Speaker 2 (08:17):
I get that, but always ask about the person sitting
next to you. Don't just keep going on and on
about your life and what you do and so on.
Have you imagine Kathy for either one of us after
being on the show. Of course, we're going to have
more to say because of our experience, and they're going
to ask questions about it. But don't forget to stop,
pause and say what about you?
Speaker 1 (08:38):
Sue me about who was Susan? Yeah, I'm stuck for
what you just said thirty seconds ago. We only have
a lot to say since being on the show. We
always have a lot. You gotta be kidding me. But
I learned how to listen. That's true, and listening is
so important. All right, let's move on. We've got some
great questions today. The first one comes from Chris from Arizona,
(09:01):
and she says, Susan and Kathy, my best friend and
I are both in committed relationships and still enjoy the
frequent girls' night out as you should. As you should,
we love to get all dressed up together, take cute picks,
drink cocktails and go dancing. Recently, I've noticed that she's
(09:21):
been wearing a different style of clothes. She's more covered
up and wears less makeup. When I asked her about it,
she said that her man told her that she shouldn't
get all dressed up for anyone but him. It makes
me sad she hasn't been acting like her normal, bubbly
self since she started dressing differently. Should I try to
(09:43):
encourage her to wear whatever she wants or will I
just get myself in between a relationship that I have
no place in?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Well, I could be off here, but the first thing
that comes to mind is that man seems very controlling
what I was going to say, and maybe he's got
the fear in her that she's doing exactly what he says.
On the other hand, was she dreckoning dressing two sexy
(10:11):
or two what's too sexy?
Speaker 1 (10:13):
I don't know. But when you're in a relationship, I
just can't. I just can't.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
She needs to be who she is exact and no man,
and I repeat, no man will ever tell you how
to dress, how to walk, how to talk, or how
to be.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
You are who you are and he should love you
for that. And Carissa, if you're a good friend, you
need to explain that to her and tell her and
stand by her because they're not me even married, I
committed relationship and he's controlling her. Now, what's that going
to look like?
Speaker 2 (10:45):
I noticed that she said she doesn't seem herself. That
could be an abusive thing. I would dig a little.
If you really care about her, I would dig in
and see what's making her tick, what's doing this?
Speaker 1 (10:57):
I hate to say it, Susan, but it also could
be a confidence issue. How many people have we spoken
to young women who just say they don't have the confidence.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
But she was wearing cool clothes and now all of
a sudden he says something and she's not.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Right because maybe she's not maybe she's not confident in their.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
Relationship, telling her bad things like you don't look good
in that or once again, abusive relationship.
Speaker 1 (11:19):
I would check into it. I would definitely Chrissa, you're
a nice friend. Chrissa, you are definitely a good friend.
And you know what, if you're worried about getting in
the relationship in between them, don't don't because sometimes it's
hard to hear things. But if believe me, if you're
seeing it, she's thinking it.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
And if you're a really, really true friend and she
knows that and she's your friend, she'll understand. Yeah, just
be kind and gentle about it, but definitely delivery.
Speaker 1 (11:47):
It comes down to delivery again, all right.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Question number two. Joan from Nevada sent us this. Hi, ladies,
I love your podcast so far, Thank you and look
forward to listening to it every week. So thank you
for being you. I am a sixty five year old woman.
I have been divorced for about ten years. I recently
started dating a man I met at the gym. He's
(12:20):
handsome and kind and really swept me off my feet.
We have been seeing each other for about two months.
Last week at dinner, I'm a little bit jealous right now, Okay,
he mentioned the fact, oh god, that he is still married.
He has always referred to his wife as his ex,
(12:43):
but he explained to me that they never legally divorced.
I'm truthfully not sure how I feel about this. I
would never knowingly date a married man. However, I also
don't want to stop seeing him at this point.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Do you have any advice?
Speaker 2 (13:01):
Well, yes, I do, because some people don't do the
final thing, divorce at first. It takes sometimes years, as
long as you don't think he's cheating and they're not
actively married in the same household. But I've known people
that have gone years and not finished the paperwork, if
(13:22):
you will.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
So, okay, yeah, I'm going to be a little bit
tougher on this one. M h. You are dating a
married man. I don't care if it's legal. It's not
his ex wife, it's his wife. It's his wife now.
He may not love her, there may not be any
intimacy in their relationship. All of that may be true, but.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
And he's out on his own I live in his
own life where she doesn't really say.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
She doesn't say. I'm assuming they live separately, But I
think she has to think about what does she want
because she's in love with him and wants to marry
him at some point. She's sixty five, she's been divorced
ten years. If she's looking for a permanent relationship, it's
not happening unless she's a big of mis.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
My only concern is you've been seeing him for two months.
That's something I would have announced on the first meet.
Just no, I am not legally divorced. We have separate lives.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
Okay, I'm going to I'm going to come clean here. Honesty,
I think is the best. Are you ready. Yeah, the
only guy I dated seriously since my husband passed away.
I dated him for about ten months. He was legally married,
he was getting divorced. They were living in separate homes.
(14:44):
They were separated. They clearly were not getting back together.
But that's my story. For a long time I dated man.
But here's the difference. She said, you know, I don't
know how I feel about this. I would never knowing
the data married man. I knew the guy I was
ditting was married, but he was going through the process
(15:04):
of a divorce. That's the difference here. He's not going
through it.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
How do you know he's not going through She just
he says, ever legally divorced.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
So they're not going through a divorce. They've never legally divorced.
That's the difference. And if her expectation is a marriage
or moving in together or any of those things, that's
not going to feel really comfortable when they're legally you know,
let me say this to you, darlin, you are not
going to be filing a joint tax return with that guy.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
Not that you want to anyhow, I think, honestly, it's
up to you. It's how you feel about it. If
he's being honest and sincere and say his I won't
call her her ex. His wife on paper has moved
on and she might be in a relationship. It could
come down to financial reasons. So look into it, don't
jump talk about it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Yeah good, All right, let's go with question number three.
Martin wrote, Kathy and Susan, I really love your podcast.
Thank you, Martin. I love everybody like that. Thank you, Martin.
I'm a seventy four year old man living in New Jersey.
My neighbor my wife, hey might be single. My wife
of more than fifty Oh, my wife of more than
(16:16):
fifty years passed away about four months ago after a
long battle with breast cancer. Yeah, she was the only
woman I had ever been with. Recently, I met a
woman at a nearby coffee shop, and I would really
like to ask her out. I have three adult children,
and at dinner one night, I broached the subject with
my two daughters. They were incredibly upset that I would
(16:40):
even consider dating this soon after their mom passed. I
don't want them to feel that way, but I also
want to live my life. Who knows how many good
years I have left? How would you handle this situation
with your children? Well, I can jump right in because
I've had this situation. Well it's only been four month.
First of all, Yeah, Martin, condolences, I'm losing your wife.
(17:03):
That's really that's tough. I would say that she's only
been gone four months and there's nothing wrong in dating her.
I'm not sure I would have broached it to my
kids this early. I might have just gone out with
her for a little bit and then, I honestly do
(17:24):
think because I've lived this after if you really are
interested in her, you know, down the road, let's call
it six eight months, and you really want her to
be a part of your life, then it's time to
talk to your children. When you say how many good
years do you have left? Don't rush into something. Well,
(17:44):
you never know how long you have left.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
And I do agree with the four months is a
little soon, especially to tell your kids. I would keep
it between you and that person for quite some time
until they're ready.
Speaker 1 (17:55):
They might never be ready.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
And you're not replacing the mom, You're just having your
significant other, your person to share the latter years of
life with I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
I really don't.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
I just don't know that I would celebrate it to
my children.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
That's yeah, I will say, Martin, you do deserve We
all deserve love, we all deserve happiness. And I wish
you the best with this woman. We both do. But
I think you just got to slow your role a
little bit. You're seventy four, you don't think.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
Slow your role. I still think he could meet her
and be with her. Just slow how you tell your children?
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Right? You agree with you? I do, But I also
think you, if you're in good health, you know, don't
be rushing into anything. Just take your time. I guess
that's what I'm saying. Take your time and wait for
the right one. If this is the right one, great,
But your kids are it's going to take some getting
used to.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
He just wants to ask around. I don't think he's
been seeing her yet. Read that I would really like
to ask her out. So he asked the kids, Oh,
you're right, was okay to ask?
Speaker 1 (19:01):
Oh? God, Martin, you're a good man, you're a good member.
Ask Martin. You do not need to ask your children's
permission to do anything. You are a grown ass man.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
Enjoy it and I hope she's a good lady and
we wish you the best. Yes, and if anybody has
questions for us, we want to hear them. Please go
to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour. You may even
be featured on our podcast. Okay, so Kathy o'millie asks
about the Bachelor Golden Hour. Is it a red flag
(19:37):
when a man is emotionally unavailable in a relationship? And
what have you done in relationships where you feel like
you are more in touch with your emotions than your partner?
And lastly, how do you support those who can't express
themselves as well? Oh that's a lot to me. It
(19:58):
is a red flag. I mean, you can't change a person.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
You can't.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Some people are not in touch with their emotions like
others are. If they're emotionally unavailable, then I don't believe
they're ready for a relationship.
Speaker 1 (20:14):
You know, they talk about an EQ emotional quotient. If
this guy doesn't have the ability to be vulnerable with
his emotions, and that's something really important to you, I
would say it's more than a red flag. It's a
done deal.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Yeah, I'm very in touch with my emotions and men
don't express it as much as women, I'd say. But
bottom line is if he's not able or unavailable.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
I think it's something they could talk about, right.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
Yeah, but it's it is a red flag. That was
our question, And yes, I agree, it's a red flag.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
I would call it. I would call it a waving
red flag. It's jumping up there. This person awesome also
asked how do you support those who can't express themselves
as well? I think you'd be their friend.
Speaker 2 (21:09):
And share with them, like, there's nothing wrong with expressing
some feeling, like do you feel a certain way about things?
Maybe they don't even understand they could have had a
life that their family didn't show feelings.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
You know, Yeah, I think what you said at the
top was exactly it. You know, you can only do yourself.
You can only worry about yourself. You can change yourself.
You can't change other people. You can support them by
being their friend and listening. But Millie, you are not
going to change someone who is emotionally unavailable into a
person who is emotionally available. Okay, Can I squeeze one
(21:47):
more in before your last one? Sure?
Speaker 2 (21:48):
If there's one thing you could change about your Golden
Bachelor experience in the mansion. What would you have changed
or done differently?
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Kath? Nothing?
Speaker 2 (21:58):
Nothing, I would have changed some of the lighting in
the bathroom or no, well that's not what they're asking.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, no, I wouldn't. I mean, as we've talked about,
I got a lot of press from saying zip. But
you know, Teresa and I are friends. I mean, it's
just I am who I am. Change anything? Yeah, you
and I are who we are and that's why we
have such a good time. Okay, on all right? Jason asked,
(22:35):
This is gonna be a tough one. Jason asked, Hello,
Kathy and Susan. Hi, Jason, Hi, Jason. I am curious
about your thoughts on Paula Moury Polly Amory. Polly Amory,
my wife and I opened our relationship a few years
ago and it's been working really well for us, but
(22:56):
we are afraid to tell our parents due to fear
of judgment. I would I would love your perspective on
it all because you are from our parents generation. Would
you be supportive if your kid was in an happy
and healthy, open relationship. Thank you for your insight.
Speaker 2 (23:13):
Some things are left to be private. I don't want
to judge you, but no, I would not tell your
parents like they're not going to get it.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
You know. I don't know how I feel about that.
I think that if your parents I have a son
who's gay and I love him, I don't judge him.
I think if your parents are going to judge you,
it's only maybe because polyamori is not as accepted a detail.
(23:45):
So if you're in a polyamorous relationship and it's working
for you, I don't think it's as mainstream as you know,
the LGBTQ community or heterosexual community. But I think that
that people who judge those kinds of relationships they need
(24:07):
to step back. I think you're right maybe keeping it
to yourself for your parents.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
You're afraid to tell your parents, you should be yes,
don't tell them?
Speaker 1 (24:15):
Well when when? Second? What? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? What if?
Let's play this one out. Okay, I've got a kid
he's in a polyamorous relationship. I don't. But let's say
he does, okay, or she and they bring home. Let's
let's say, you know, my son brings home, you know,
(24:36):
Joe one week and Sam the next week. What do
I think, what am I going to think she's a prostitute.
I mean, let's just say it for what it is.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
This I'm taking it for the other week. Right, he's married,
they have their own life. They want to share this.
They're asking our advice because they're old school life. I'm sorry,
it doesn't say their marig's been working. Really, my wife
and I opened our relationship a few years all right.
Speaker 1 (25:04):
So I can't read give me a break. Okay, you
know what that I even think more strongly if if you.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
Want to tell your mom and dad, it's like telling
ARMIEMI or pop up or not. Yeah, you know what,
keep it at home, honey, enjoy your life. I'm not
judging you, but don't tell.
Speaker 1 (25:20):
So, okay, Susan, we're gonna play this again. Okay, now
we know it's his wife. Yes, Okay, the coming to suit, Auntie, Mimi,
whatever you go by. We're gonna have a spaghetti dinner.
Yeah right, he brings. He brings the wife Julie with him.
The next week he wants to bring Susie. He's married.
He brings Julie every time. You know what, You're not
(25:44):
going to see your kid ever again? Why? Because he
can't keep it straight when he's with Julie and when
he's with the other one. Look what he's asking.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
We are afraid to tell our parents due to the
fear of judgment. They want our perspective. I'm pretty open minded.
You I want just you and your wife. I don't
want to know about the other people. That's all he asked.
I told, Okay, so you are you? You the one
who always says you don't judge.
Speaker 1 (26:10):
I'm not judging. Oh you're not judging, Kathy. Hear my words.
Don't tell me you're judging to me bad.
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Asking my opinion of if he should tell his parents.
But he's afraid they're going to judge him. I'm not
judging him. Knock yourself out.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
What he's asking what Look read the question together.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
I am afraid to tell our parents due to fear
of judge.
Speaker 1 (26:35):
And if you don't believe that they would be judged
by the parents, you they do believe they'd be judged
by their parents, and they're not going to get it.
And you just said you wouldn't let them come for dinner.
You're judging, admit it. No no, no, no, no no. Would
you let your son come with his wife one weekend,
his girlfriend the next.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
Now, then you're judging. Okay, what's not judging. I'm not
condemning what they're doing. Hear me, Katy, pay attention.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
Hear me. You do what you do, I'll honor it.
I'm not judging. You have a ball.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
But when it comes to your elderly parents, they don't
get this, and I just think some things are better
left unsaid.
Speaker 1 (27:13):
Okay, they don't have to say it. Just show up
with her all of a sudden. Kathy's cool, too cool
for school. I'm just saying he said that's he said.
We're up their generation. I would not want my child
to keep something like that from me.
Speaker 2 (27:29):
So everybody, if you have a question for us, we
do want to hear it. Even if we disagree, we
agree to disagree. Go to Bachelor Nation dot com slash
Golden Hour. You may even be featured on our podcast. Okay, Susan,
you know how we love to play games. Yes, okay,
we're gonna do one today. It's it's the game that
we call moral quandary. Okay, one of us will read
(27:52):
a quandary and when we each then we each have
to try to guess what the other would do in
the situation, you ready, I think?
Speaker 1 (28:00):
So? Okay, all right, Susan. Yes, you are flying from
New York to LA and you have an aisle seat.
A mother and her young child are sitting next to you.
You can tell the mom is struggling with the fussy toddler,
and the woman remarks that her husband is sitting in
a few rows back in a middle seat. Susan's gonna
(28:23):
be tossing the kid over. But okay, I'm not taking
a million. Do you give up your aisle so the
family can sit together? No, but I'll have the kid
on my lap. I'm like a kid mag that I'll
make them happy and stop crying. I'll give them things,
I'll help with the kid. That's not what she's asking.
Would you give up your seat? Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
See selfish, that's it selfish, not selfish. I don't do
middle seats. I had to do one not too long ago,
for five and a half hours.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
I was not happy. Can I just tell you, let's
be clear, you don't do aisle seats. You do windows
so you can put your head against the missile too.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
So yeah, I mean, if it was really really bad
and the father was the only one that could do it. Okay, maybe,
but normally no, I would just try to give the
mom a hand. But let me guess, Kath, you're going
to give up the seat a large and go sit
in the middle of two people for six hours?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
Nope, no, not even a little bit. She is just
like me. I got to tell you. I was on
a flight recently to La. Yeah, two rows back, it's
almost I think I wrote this question. There was a
mother with her husband sitting a row ahead. Huh, and
the kid was screaming, you know, past the kid to
(29:36):
the husband. No. No, he was sitting with the older child,
she had the younger one. The flat attendant kept coming
by and saying, can I get you or anything? I said, yeah,
I'm muzzle it.
Speaker 2 (29:46):
Why not give the child to the father halfway through?
I don't give me a break. Why do mothers always.
Speaker 1 (29:51):
Have to do it? I don't know, but I'm not
picking up my seat, you know what.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
I do feel sorry for them. I mean, obviously they
have to get somewhere and you have to take kids.
And whether the child not feeling good or just a fussbucket.
Speaker 1 (30:01):
Great, Susan, Susan, I do anything to any Wait, wait,
he'll do anything. Give up your seat. Okay.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
Kathy, the cashier at Nordstroms is talking on her phone
and made you wait about five minutes before ringing you up.
When she finally does you realize she doesn't charge you
for one of the sweaters you're buying?
Speaker 1 (30:26):
Do you tell her?
Speaker 2 (30:28):
I don't think you'd get as far as letting her
ring you up without a comment.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Who were you talking to? Really? You're making me wait?
I don't think so, lady, Okay, but do you think
I would tell her she didn't ring up one of
the sweaters? Yeah, without a doubt. That's actually happened to making.
Speaker 2 (30:41):
Yeah, because they're going to be responsible for it. It's
just like stealing, straight up steal.
Speaker 1 (30:45):
That's exactly what it's a I literally went back to
the grocery store once when they didn't charge me for
a gallon of milk? How did you even know? Because
I looked at my receipt and I went home. Did
you ever leave? And underneath the card I had like
a case of water or something. I always I always
always go back. I don't want I got enough things
to have a kilo. I'm going to guess you I
(31:07):
would have either walked away within those five minutes that
I was waiting, or call me rude. But I would
have been nice about excuse me, excuse me.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
But you wouldn't say that's not your boss on the phone,
that you should be waiting on me. I have issues
about today's people, the younger generation. They're almost rude a
lot of people when they're working for you know, I'm
sure pennies.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Wait, are you generalizing that all the younger are not all? No?
Absolutely no, don't put words in my mouth. That's not good.
Speaker 2 (31:36):
But if somebody's standing there waiting and you're having a
personal phone call for five minutes, five minutes is a
lifetime when you're standing there idle, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Yeah, I'm going to say something. I'm probably gonna say something,
but I'm not stealing a sweat and I deal with sweat.
Excuse me, babe.
Speaker 2 (31:51):
Not only are you rude and made me wait five minutes, now,
you're not even ringing it up.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
Correct? Do I get this on the house. I would
make sure they knew they gave it to me. You're
two funny, all right, here's the next one. You're a
party and a couple hands you their iPhone, to show
you pictures of their new house. You scroll too far
and see naked pictures of them? Do you say anything?
Hell yeah, I'll be like, yeah, checking out, don't you
(32:18):
look good? What do you think I would do? Swipe?
You think I would just keep triping that you'd say
something when you damn right? I would like, look at it.
I mean I'd probably hold it up to the party.
Look what I found. I would know you if you
ever did that to me, then then don't put those
kind of pictures on your phone. You put them on Really,
(32:40):
a couple has their own do the old fashioned thing.
Get a photo album. Oh, for God's thanked up, come
up with the time.
Speaker 2 (32:46):
It's called photo vault, a photo this way, somebody can't
accidentally see those things.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
You know what, I would say, how embarrassing though, right
it would be, you know if it was their kids
looking like mom, oh if it were my kids, drop
the phone and run all right? All right? So la,
So I think, actually, this does it again. These episodes
seem to go so fast.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
I have such a good time to share with you all.
And that does it for this episode. Thank you so
much for joining us today on Bachelor Happy Hours.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Golden Hour. We love this. You're absolutely right. This is
fun for us and we love hearing from you guys,
and we really want you to follow us on our
Bachelor Happy Hour Golden Hour because new episodes come out
every week.
Speaker 2 (33:30):
Make sure to submit your questions to us because as
you see, we read them all and I can't wait
till a voice one come so that we can air
it and have you on our podcast. Go to Bachelornation
dot com slash Golden Hour to send them in. Plus,
don't forget if you do have that friend that is
looking for somebody, send them.
Speaker 1 (33:52):
Our way and we'll check them out. And listen to
Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app app
or wherever you listen to podcasts. But first send those
guys our way. H
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