October 26, 2022 • 35 mins
Jessica goes solo this week in a self reflexive look at the last two weeks that brought chaos, anxiety, and ultimately serenity to her life. After her social media accounts were hacked, and she and Balls N Holes were erased from digital existence, Jessica discusses what really matters, how she overcame the firewall of META, and how much golf really does matter to her life.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
You're listening to Holes Jessica Bowser and Brian Pastor. All right, well,
here goes nothing. The last episode was our twentie episode,
and we ended that episode with the question should we
(00:23):
keep doing this? And oddly enough, in a weird series
of events, the next week unfolded and I think we
found ourselves in like a proverbial universal butt fuck, That's
all I can call it. The question was should we
keep going? And the universe spoke back, So I'm gonna
(00:48):
try something a little different here this week, and you've
just got me, You've just got holes. Today, on episode
twenty one of Balls and Holes, Brian Balls is off
on a golf trip with the guys, and I figured,
what the hell, why not go ahead and get a
record down and uh, see what that sounds like, see
what that looks like? So here we go. We took
(01:13):
a little break. It was interesting. I flew home to
see my beautiful mom. She had a surgery, so I
went home to go take care of her. Everything went great,
She's doing wonderful. It was absolutely lovely to spend time
with her alone. I didn't have Brian, I didn't have
hold In. We were away from Bill like I don't know.
(01:36):
It was the first time in a long time that
it was just my mom and I, so um, even
though it was kind of unforeseen circumstances, we had a
really lovely time. But while I was home, I kept
getting a lot of notifications regarding Facebook and Instagram and
(01:57):
all my social media that somebody was trying to access
our accounts, And quite frankly, what I had going on
at that point in time was way more important than
any of these emails and notifications, so I just kind
of ignored it. I saw that it was happening, and
I was just like, you know what, I don't have
time for this. So I waited until the next day
when I had a little bit of brain power to
(02:19):
a lot towards that, and I thought, all right, well,
I'm not going to go look at all those emails.
I'm just going to go in and change my password
so that I can make sure that everything is secure
and I can keep going about my trip and my life.
I did that, I thought everything was good, and I
went to sleep, and lo and behold, they wake up
the next morning and I do what most people do.
You wake up, you check your phone. Has anything happened?
(02:42):
Does anybody called or there any texts what's going on
in social media? I go to check into Facebook, into Instagram,
and all of a sudden, I am met with alerts
that say you don't exist, you no longer have accounts,
everything has been disabled, and and um there you go.
(03:03):
It was this moment of like, oh my god, what happened?
And so, you know, I get up. I started like
digging into this. I start like filling out forms and
I start looking back to, you know, through the emails
that I had gotten the date prior and was thinking like, okay,
I can figure this out. I went into like complete
inspector gadget mode. I end up getting some communication back
from Facebook that states something along the lines of you've
(03:26):
gone against our community policies and guidelines and you've hit
some major rules regarding child exploitation. And like the language
that was coming back to me was so severe that
I was like, holy shit, what is going on? So
I stopped h I try and put in an appeal
(03:48):
to have things looked at, and I like immediately get
back an email from Meta, which is Facebook, saying we've
received your request. We're not going to review your account.
There is no appeal available to you. This is a
final decision. Go fund yourself. You don't exist on social
media anymore. Okay, cool? Uh So that's where I was.
(04:10):
It was, it was, it was interesting. So we took
a little break from the podcast and from social media
and from all things balls and holes. Uh, not by choice,
but by circumstance. And it's been a week. I don't know, man. Uh,
I have not played any golf, and I gotta tell you,
(04:32):
I firmly believe that not playing any golf is responsible
for the fact that my life is in fucking shambles
right now. I have been raised off of social media.
I don't exist. There's everywhere you look. It's like, you know,
there's a car in the shop, there's a relationship on
the fritz, there's somebody having surgery. There's no social media there.
(04:53):
It's just that every turn, it's been crazy. And the
only thing I can draw to is the simple, simple
fact that I have gotten out and played any golf.
And I'm really starting to wonder, like, what happens when
you don't play golf? Right, I'll tell you what happens
when you don't play golf. You don't have the opportunity
(05:15):
to connect with yourself, to connect with nature, to challenge
yourself in a way that you can you know, it's
almost like a way you can control um because all
the other things that are happening are completely out of
my control. Right Like, I've had a couple of people
say things like, well, maybe it's because you did this,
or maybe it's because you did that. And at the
end of the day, I keep coming back to the
(05:37):
fact that all of the things that are swirling around
and what I am calling the universal butt fuck of
which has been these last couple of weeks really has
nothing to do with anything that I've done. Uh. If
I really take a step back and I look at
my life and I asked myself if I'm happy, and
(05:58):
if things are going my way and everything is working out,
Like the answer to all of that is, yes, all
of those things are good. I'm good. So why do
I find myself in the midst in the midst of crisis,
let's just say, in the midst of crisis chaos. Perhaps
some might call it drama, some might call it baggage.
(06:19):
I don't know. I call it life. I think that
if anything, the last few years and coming out of
COVID has shown us a lot in the regards to
how people work, how people mitigate there, or how people
kind of find their way through certain situations, what it's
like to deal with things and people when things go wrong,
(06:41):
All things, mind you, that you don't have to deal
with when you're on the golf course. Right, Like you
go to play golf, You're there to do one thing.
You might be challenging yourself, and you might be having
like a mental game, and you might have all of
these interior things happening, but like there are no real
exterior your issues coming at you when you're on the
(07:02):
golf course, which is I'm starting to find why it
is that people are probably so addicted to going out
and playing golf, whether you're by yourself, whether you're with friends. Um,
it's almost as if you can solve the world's problems
out on the golf course. But quite frankly, I think
what it is is that you can insulate yourself in
(07:23):
a way out on the golf course where it's you
and your sticks and the ball. It's literally the only
sport that has the ball at rest. Anything that happens
in the sport of golf is because you made it
happen not because of somebody else's doing. And I think
that there is a real draw to that in today's society,
given the fact that everything we deal with typically has
(07:45):
to do with somebody else has caused something shitty. Right,
Like my car got recalled. It's in the shop for
weeks on end. Like I didn't do that. They funked
up and made my car shitty. Therefore it got recalled.
It wasn't working, right, it wasn't safe. Now it's in
the shot up, right Like that was somebody else that
did that. I didn't cause that. I got I got hacked,
(08:05):
right Like I didn't cause that. I just happened to
have a Facebook account that had an AD account that
somebody took advantage of, right Like, Look, I I don't
want to sound like the victim here, because that's this
is this is you know. I think it was easy
at the beginning of this week to look at all
the different things that were going on and to fall
into victim and be like, oh my god, why me,
(08:25):
what's this? What's this all about? What does it mean?
But I tell you what, there is nothing more defining
than having your social media or your business or your
personal life or any of those sort of means of
communication ripped away from you and made inaccessible. Uh, to
remind you of how vulnerable you can be and how
(08:49):
much you rely on, whether it's checking in, seeing what
people are doing, posting things for your business, posting things personally. Um,
I think there's a real addiction thing happening here again
when we talk about golf. One of the beautiful things
about being out of the golf course, at least for me,
aside from playing this amazing game and challenging myself, is
(09:09):
the fact that like I do not touch my fucking phone,
I don't check to see who's doing what. I don't
check my emails. I there's one person on breakthrough, which
is my son, and he even knows unless you're like
bleeding out on the floor while I'm golfing, Like, don't
fucking call me. I don't want to be bothered. This
is my time to connect with myself, connect with nature,
(09:31):
go play a game, and just check the funk out.
So I don't know, I guess you know. What does
this bring us to? This brings us to a couple
of different scenarios, right, Like, what have I learned by
being targeted by a sophisticated Facebook hacker. UM a lot.
You know, it was really interesting. Um, in the midst
(09:55):
of finding out that this was happening, I read a
lot of articles, I did a lot of research, and
everything that I was coming upon basically stated that like,
if you have something like this happening, one you're fucked
to you're never going to get your ship back. And three,
even if you find somebody somehow to look at it
who works at meta, the likelihood that you'll ever recover
(10:18):
anything is very slim. Um. That to me is it's
a challenge, right, Um, if you tell me that I
can't do something I was raised with, uh, the type
of programming that when somebody says no, there's always a yes.
(10:39):
You can always find a way, and the people who
find a way are the ones who succeed. Right. So
cut to um, everything I'm reading, everything I'm seeing says
there's no way you'll get anything back, You're fucked forever,
You'll never be allowed on Facebook or social media or Instagram.
And you know, I really had to take a minute
and be like, Okay, does that really fucking matter? Do
I care? And I will say, like day after day
(11:01):
that this went on like, I got more and more
comfortable with the fact that, like, this was not a
part of my life. I learned that there are all
kinds of hacks out there. The one that specifically happened
to me was quite genius. I'm thankful to my producer Jason,
who somehow found an article in the midst of all
of this, when we were trying to find a solution
(11:21):
UH that clearly explained everything that I was going through.
He sent it to me he said, just you've got
to read this. I think this is what's happening to you.
And I read it while driving. I do not recommend um,
and as I like read paragraph by paragraph, I was like,
holy sh it, this is what's happening to me. And
then I get to the part where they're like, so,
(11:42):
the whole part of this hack is that the hacker
hacks into your account and takes your ad account, sets
their own ads to serve wherever they want, and they
set the budget to infinity, which means that it will
like there's there's no stopping it, right, Like, this ad
will serve till the end of time until somebody stops it.
(12:03):
There is no cut off, there is no budget, like
just go buck fucking wild. Uh. So somebody got into account,
they set their ads to spend and to serve all
over the world without a limit, and then for the
colossal go funk yourself, they post typically child porn to
(12:25):
your account, which is an automatic disabling of all social
media the second that you post something in that realm uh.
Not only does it get reported to the authorities, but
it automatically shuts down your Facebook, your Instagram, and anything
you had attached to it. Little do we know, but
they know that the entire time they're running this entire scam,
(12:49):
your AD account is continuing to run. So while I'm
reading this article and I'm hearing this, I check my
am x account, where I unfortunately find that there is
charge after charge after charge being made and I am
paying uh for somebody's ads as well as making somebody
I don't know quite a bit of money. Uh, while
I cancel all my credit cards while out of town,
(13:11):
freak out that I've lost my business, freak out that
I've lost my personal everything, and basically just had an
existential crisis. So um, thank you too, Jason, my big
brother who figured it out. I was able to stop everything.
I was able to cancel everything. It was at least
able to triage the bleed. Uh, so that was good.
(13:34):
I reached out to everybody I know, which brings me
to my next point. It is not what you can do,
but it is who you know. I think everybody has
heard this in one way or another from someone in
their life for their whole life, right, It's it's all
(13:54):
about who you know. So who do I know that
can help me in a situation where most people are
fucked Well? Luckily for me, I've been in the entertainment
industry for plus years and I've had a pretty amazing career,
and I have a lot of people in a lot
of high places that a lot of big tech companies.
So I throughout the net. I throughout the net to
(14:15):
a dear, dear, dear friend of mine and colleague um
who was the first person who said, oh my god,
we've got a call such and such there, you know,
director there, And then I had my producer and the
team at the network on their social side working on it. Basically,
I asked every single person that I know it met
at like, here's what's happening, how do we do this?
(14:35):
How do we fix this? I'm not a child pornographer, like,
let's please save balls and holes. So um, after five
six days of a lot of silence, this ticket got
escalated and we got it in the hands of somebody, thankfully,
who could look at it, and they recognized that I
was in fact hacked, and that my ad platform was
(14:57):
in fact used inappropriately, and that a lot of money
was spent, and that I was not necessarily responsible for that.
I've been given all of that back. I've been given
access back to my add account, I've gotten all of
my accounts secure, and we're back. We're back. So what
does that mean? I don't fucking know you, guys, like,
I wanted this back so bad. I've worked really hard
(15:20):
to build this audience and to communicate with everybody, and
now I have it back and I'm literally afraid to
touch it. Uh. I don't know, guys. Is social media
ruining our lives? A week ago? I wouldn't have said so. Presently.
I can point to a myriad of things that have
(15:42):
happened in the last five days. All of it ties
back to social media. None of it's good. Where does
that leave us? How often do check it? How often
are you on Facebook? How often are you on Instagram?
How often are you on TikTok? Don't even get me
started on TikTok Because as I was banned off of
you know, Meta and their products, I discovered TikTok, which
(16:04):
I dabbling and Balls and Holes has a page on um.
Here's what I have to say about TikTok. It's brilliant.
I completely understand why it's ruining the youth of America.
I fell into a numerous TikTok k holes over the
last five days, where like two hours had passed and
I had watched some of the greatest, shortest, loveliest content
(16:26):
I've ever seen in my life. I understand why people
don't want to watch TV while they don't want to
go to movies like they're all on TikTok. I also
see how incredibly addictive it is, how it absolutely dominates
your serotonin and dopamine, and it absolutely will fuck the
youth of America. That being said, I've enjoyed the break.
(16:49):
I'm having a hard time coming back on. I obviously
have a lot of friends and brands and people that
we deal with for Balls and Holes that I've really missed,
and we have lots of opportunities there. So here's what
I have to say about this. Um, if you have
accounts on Facebook and on Instagram and you do business
from there, make sure you're secure. I can't tell you
(17:10):
how vulnerable it makes you once some idiot has decided
to take advantage of you and somehow get in and
hack into your life. And for me, it was just
social media and you know, the numerous platforms, but it
was also bank accounts. It was, you know, the same
day that I got hacked, I was also victim to
(17:33):
an airline fraud. I had realized about staying at Moms
that I had not got an email to check into
my flight that was leaving from her house back to
l A. And I thought this is weird. So I
went to go try and check in for my flight,
and I received a message that my reservation had been canceled,
which then led to five minutes on the phone with
(17:55):
Jan from United. Jan from United, what do I have
to say to you? Good Lord? You must be in
like Oklahoma, somewhere on acreage, sitting in your house taking calls,
because holy sh it, Um, I called in. I explained
that I was trying to check in for my flight
and they let me know that I was a no
(18:18):
show on my previous flight to where I was going. Uh,
to which I said, that is not at all the truth.
In fact, my flight was delayed for three hours. I
could have driven from my house to my mother's house
in the time it took me to take a forty
minute flight out of l a X to her. I
sat next to Justin, the aerospace engineer, who took all
(18:43):
the time in the world to explain to me that
although he was an aerospace engineer, he had no idea
how planes stayed up in the air, and that statistically
we had a better chance of surviving the flight we
were on being on a passenger plane than we did
on one of the big planes. Uh. My higlot looked
like he was too old to fly the plane. The
(19:03):
plane was a Canadian Air new plane. Like I could
explain everything about my experience of the flight that I
took that they said I did not take. By the
end of this day, I was obviously at a point
of am I in the twilight zone? What is happening?
I've been erased off the social media. I've been on
airplanes that they say I'm not on, Like, holy shit,
(19:24):
what is happening, I don't know again twilight Zone. So
I really like sat back and started to believe, like
the farther that I got away from my passion, which
is golf and our podcast and my life of golf.
The more of the universe was completely out to be
in resistance with me. So, you know, I don't know,
(19:46):
what does that lead you to? Um, you know, in
in conclusion, it's not what you can do, it's who
you know. I overcame the impossible. I got through to
human beings at Metta and got my Facebook and my
Instagram and everything back. That was last night. That was
the wu who. By the time I found out that
(20:07):
everything had come back online, I was so exhausted and
had already become at peace with the fact that I
had lost everything that it was very anticlimactic that I'd
gotten everything back. Brian was way more excited than I was.
I feverishly dove in and started, you know, throwing money
at apps like Duo and you know, two factor and Authenticate, authentic, authentic,
(20:31):
authentication whatever the fuck, you know, like they fucking let
you know when somebody's trying to get into your ship, identity, theft,
you name it, like, I've spent a lot of money
in that arena, So I don't know that was that.
That's where we were on our break. We're gonna take
a break and uh we'll be back. Okay, so we're back.
(20:56):
You've got me holes, dessic holes a minute your life. Um,
now that we've got that all the way, I guess
I want to talk about golf a little bit, which
leads me to my next question is the connection I
have to my husband. The only connection I have is
at golf. Uh, what do we have if we don't
have golf? When you have a connection with somebody in
(21:18):
your life and in a relationship that you both share
the same passion, if somebody is having a moment and
they're having to deal with real life or kids or
drama or chaos or whatever you want to call it, baggage,
I don't know. Uh, and you're not able to go
do the thing with your spouse or your loved one
that you enjoy doing together. Does that mean you have
(21:40):
nothing in common? And I wish I had an answer
to that, but at this moment in time, I do
not know. I know that I adore Brian, I know
that we play a lot of golf. I know that
we have a million things in common. I know that
some of our best ideas come when we're hanging out together,
(22:02):
whether we're walking the dogs or playing golf. I know
that I can rise to the occasion to have conversations
about the thing that we're most passionate about. I think
there's a lot of women out there who can't have
conversations about gear and about analytics, and about sports and
about things that their husbands are into. But it's really
made me wonder, you know, it's this the only connection
(22:25):
that we have. I don't think it is, but sometimes
I wonder. I guess that brings me to my next point,
which is how men and women have completely different experiences
in life. And I will start you with this story.
The other day, after coming home and uh traveling with
(22:46):
my mom and taking care of things and experiencing the
universal butt funck of the universe, I found myself in
a place where I got home, like Holden Spike was broken.
I had to take that in, like there was just
all these things that I had to do. And Brian
had had a bunch of depots and he just wanted
to go play golf, so he was like, I'm gonna
go play golf tomorrow, and I have to tell you.
(23:07):
Like at first, my first reaction was like, oh my god,
I want to go play too. And then my next
reaction was like, oh my god, thank god, I can
stay home all by myself. Holding We'll be at school,
Brian will be on the golf course, and I can just,
like legit, lay in bed with the lights off, and
nobody will be there to look at me, judge me,
or tell me what to do or any of those things. Right, So,
like I was stoked, like my needs were gonna get met.
(23:30):
I didn't have to ask for what I needed, Like
the universe was finally starting to fall into place, like
everybody was going to be taken care of and I
was going to get what I needed. Cut to, Brian
goes to go play golf. He goes, he plays, like,
he checks in, He's like, oh, hey, how's it going.
Are you doing? I'm like, oh, I'm good whatever. Um.
He comes home and we end up in a conversation
where he tells me I was out, I was playing.
(23:53):
I felt rushed. I had finished eighteen, I wanted to
play seven, and I felt guilty and I felt bad
and I felt like I shouldn't do that, and I
was just sitting there perplexed. Right, He's like I felt
all of these things because of you, And I kind
(24:13):
of sat there in this moment and was like, Okay,
like I hear you, but I'm really having a hard
time connecting with this because I'm not that person. I
think that a lot of you golfers out there have
the relationship with your wife where golf is a negative thing.
You go to play with the boys, you catch shit,
you're doing bad things, you're drinking, you're not home on time,
(24:33):
Like whatever the funk it is for you, Like that's fine,
but like that is not what it is like in
our house. In our house, if one of us is
going to play golf, it's fucking have a great time,
be awesome, check in if you want. If not, who
gives a ship, Like go do your thing. And for
me specifically, like a lot of times when I don't
go play golf with Brian, that is my time to
like hang out at home, do whatever the funk I want.
(24:55):
I mean, I might walk around naked, I might masturbate,
I might clean the house, I might make phone calls.
I'm take care of ship, I might not do anything
like who cares, Like it is my time. So for
all of you people out there who have this preconceived
notion that you're out doing something shameful or bad, or
that your wife's have a problem with it, which they
very may well like they might have a problem with it, right, Like,
(25:18):
I have no idea what you're all dealing with at home.
But in our home, I totally promote golf. I totally
promote going out with your friends. I totally promote autonomy.
I totally promote having your own life. In fact, you
having your own life allows me to have my own
life or nobody's looking at me judging me for whatever
it is. I decided to do um. And it was
so interesting for him to come home and convey this
(25:41):
to me because I was having a completely different experience.
And I had to tell him like brand, like, you're
sitting here and you're telling me that you felt all
the shame and guilt about like you should be here
and you should be paying attention to me and you
shouldn't go play twenty seven And like meanwhile, I was
sitting here being like, oh my god, I love being
home alone. Nobody's here, I'm walking around naked, I'm eating pizza,
(26:03):
like I'm drinking some wine, I'm eating pasta, I'm watching
ships creak, and like nobody is the wiser. And I
even had a moment where I was like, oh God,
I hope he plays twenty seven so that I can
just chill the funk out and like not have to
be present he comes home, he has all these feelings.
I explained to him, this is my experience. He explained
to me what his experiences, And I'm like, what is happening?
(26:25):
Like how is it that two people who adore each
other so much and are this close and tell each
other everything can be out, you know, exercising their autonomy
and having two completely different experiences. Like I didn't want
to golf with him that day. I wanted to stay home.
He wanted to be out on the golf course. He
wanted to do his own thing. He didn't want to
(26:46):
have to check in, he didn't want to have to
be anywhere, And like if we had just had the
conversation with each other, And I guess that's where I
went wrong, right, Like because I was getting my needs
met without having to ask for it. I didn't bring
it up. What I realized may have been the mistake
is that even know I was going to get my
needs met and he was going to leave and I
was going to get what I need. Maybe I guess
I should have said, I'm really excited that you're going
(27:08):
golfing by yourself. I'm really looking forward to being home
and being by myself and having some time, and therefore
he would have felt comfortable to go do what he
wanted to do. I'm still having a tough time with that.
I'm still struggling with that, right, Like, I don't know,
you tell me. I know that there's a lot of
men out there who have a lot of confrontation around
(27:28):
their autonomy and their relationship and what they're allowed to
do versus what they want to do. And I don't know, Like,
at the end of the day, I'm just not into
that ship. Like one of the things I love about
the relationship I have is that, like it is easy
and nobody tells either of us what to do. I
don't tell him what to do, he doesn't tell me
what to do. I don't ask for permission. He doesn't
(27:49):
ask for permission. But I guess there are moments that
need to still be fine tuned, because even though he
was getting his needs met and I was getting my
needs met, like, there was still an issue. So I
don't know that's something to dive into once we have
Brian Balls back on the show. Um, I guess that
all brought me to getting really quiet and starting to
(28:11):
reflect and starting to wonder what is this all about?
Like does golf keep you focused? Is it something that
we use, is it a tool? Is it you know?
What is golf for the golfer? Like for me? I
guess what I've kind of come down to is that
golf keeps me focused, but it is also the greatest
(28:31):
excuse for disassociation from reality. Right Like when I'm out
on the golf course, I'm not answering my phone, I
don't care what everybody's doing. I don't care if anybody
needs me. I'm not solving anybody's problems. I am out
doing my own thing. That is why I fucking love golf.
It is me, it is my sticks, it is the ball,
and it is nothing else. It's the people I'm with.
(28:52):
I love that. I love that, but it is a
real disassociation of life, and I think that that's something
for us to look into. I think that you know,
a lot of people who like aren't into golf, who
are with golfers think that golf is this excuse and
and if I'm being honest and we're truly looking at it,
(29:13):
is it is an excuse and it's it's an excuse
to disassociate and to get present with yourself and your
surroundings and nature and the ball in the strategy around it.
And I think that there should be more talk about
why that's a good thing, right, Like, I don't know,
(29:35):
I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm just you know, maybe
I'm wrong. I don't know. You tell me. Um. Bottom
line this week has been the proverbial back off challenge.
I know. I've talked at length before about Country Club
Adjacent and they're amazing content that they put out where
they go to the pro ams and they stand behind
people and they try and get them to funk up
by saying fucked up shipped to them while they go
(29:57):
to tee off. Well, I can tell you that I
feel like the universe served me the proverbial back off
challenge this week. And I don't say that to be
a victim, and I don't say that to be oh
poor me. I say that because as I imagined country
club adjacent standing behind me at every turn and every
call and every funk up that I received this week,
I just kept fucking laughing over imagining these boys standing
(30:23):
behind me trying to fucking throw me off my game
while I was trying to concentrate. And if there is
something that I have learned from this week, it is
I am awesome. I have grace, I am strong as fuck,
and I can get through anything. I can do it
on the course. I can start seven months ago shooting
(30:43):
a hundred ten. I can be here today talking to
you as a low eighties player. I can play with
the boys. I can win tournaments. I can deal with
issues regarding my car. I can get thrown off flights,
I can get erased from social media, and you know
I I am still here. So um, I don't know.
(31:06):
You know, like being a woman in a man's sport,
what is that? It's I mean for me, it's something
that I've dealt with my whole life. Every job that
I've had, I have been the only lady at the table.
I have been the boss. I have been surrounded by men.
I have been the woman in charge who gets paid
(31:26):
less than all of my counterparts. I have been the
woman who has worked harder than every single person I
have worked with in order to prove myself and earn
what it is I'm being given, even though it was
never enough. Um, it's no different in golf. If you're
a woman and you play golf, you're in a man's sport,
and how you carry yourself and how you handle yourself
(31:49):
and how you get through your game and your day
and your communication with the ones around you means everything.
So for my ladies out there who play a man game,
fucking rock on with yourself. Keep doing what you're doing,
believing yourself, keep working hard, and strive to be better
(32:09):
than anybody you're around, and you'll succeed. Right Like, I
had an interesting conversation today with a friend about inherently
being brought up in a household where success meant suffering.
I was taught that to be successful it has to
(32:31):
be hard. And I'm forty one. I've done a lot
of work and I have come to terms with the
fact that that is not the truth. And there are
things in your life that you inherently have that are
good and that come easy. And just because something comes
easy doesn't mean you didn't succeed. I think everybody needs
to step back, reframe things. I think everybody needs to
(32:52):
look within. I think everybody needs to work on themselves.
I think everyone needs to figure out what's important to
them and keep going. Everything doesn't have to be hard.
Life can be easy. It's all about how you get
through your day. It's all about how you handle it.
(33:12):
Life can serve you ship, it's how you serve it
up and how you choose to eat it. Um. That
brings me to my mulligan. Does anybody have a time machine?
Because I would happily get the funk in it? Um?
What do I have to say? Well, here's the deal, guys. Um,
(33:35):
if you are on social media, I highly highly suggest
that you protect yourself and find the best condom on
the internet, because there are people out there who have
shitty intentions and who will take advantage of you and
fuck your ship up. So get two factor authentication, get
(33:56):
something that checks for adware and spy we're on your computer. Uh,
protect yourself, Protect yourself, protect yourself, find all of the
things that alert you when somebody is trying to funk
your world up. That's all I have to say. It's
it's simple, it's easy. I'm glad to be back. I
look forward to recording next week with my lovely husband Brian,
(34:21):
and hopefully getting everything back on track, continuing to build
this Thanks for listening. I love all of you, and
thanks for being here. Thanks, thanks, thanks, Like, what do
you say when you find yourself getting butt fucked by
the universe? Put a smile on your face, sit back
(34:41):
and ask yourself this one question, how will I be
entertained today? That will be the difference in how you
handle the next thing that is coming your way. You
can find us on Balls, the Letter in Holes, Golf,
on Instagram, Facebook, ticked off all the social media platforms
(35:02):
that I got banned from this week. I love you
all and I'll see you next week. Balls and Holes
is produced and distributed by the eight Side Network
You're listening to Holes Jessica Bowser and Brian Pastor. All right, well,
here goes nothing. The last episode was our twentie episode,
and we ended that episode with the question should we
(00:23):
keep doing this? And oddly enough, in a weird series
of events, the next week unfolded and I think we
found ourselves in like a proverbial universal butt fuck, That's
all I can call it. The question was should we
keep going? And the universe spoke back, So I'm gonna
(00:48):
try something a little different here this week, and you've
just got me, You've just got holes. Today, on episode
twenty one of Balls and Holes, Brian Balls is off
on a golf trip with the guys, and I figured,
what the hell, why not go ahead and get a
record down and uh, see what that sounds like, see
what that looks like? So here we go. We took
(01:13):
a little break. It was interesting. I flew home to
see my beautiful mom. She had a surgery, so I
went home to go take care of her. Everything went great,
She's doing wonderful. It was absolutely lovely to spend time
with her alone. I didn't have Brian, I didn't have
hold In. We were away from Bill like I don't know.
(01:36):
It was the first time in a long time that
it was just my mom and I, so um, even
though it was kind of unforeseen circumstances, we had a
really lovely time. But while I was home, I kept
getting a lot of notifications regarding Facebook and Instagram and
(01:57):
all my social media that somebody was trying to access
our accounts, And quite frankly, what I had going on
at that point in time was way more important than
any of these emails and notifications, so I just kind
of ignored it. I saw that it was happening, and
I was just like, you know what, I don't have
time for this. So I waited until the next day
when I had a little bit of brain power to
(02:19):
a lot towards that, and I thought, all right, well,
I'm not going to go look at all those emails.
I'm just going to go in and change my password
so that I can make sure that everything is secure
and I can keep going about my trip and my life.
I did that, I thought everything was good, and I
went to sleep, and lo and behold, they wake up
the next morning and I do what most people do.
You wake up, you check your phone. Has anything happened?
(02:42):
Does anybody called or there any texts what's going on
in social media? I go to check into Facebook, into Instagram,
and all of a sudden, I am met with alerts
that say you don't exist, you no longer have accounts,
everything has been disabled, and and um there you go.
(03:03):
It was this moment of like, oh my god, what happened?
And so, you know, I get up. I started like
digging into this. I start like filling out forms and
I start looking back to, you know, through the emails
that I had gotten the date prior and was thinking like, okay,
I can figure this out. I went into like complete
inspector gadget mode. I end up getting some communication back
from Facebook that states something along the lines of you've
(03:26):
gone against our community policies and guidelines and you've hit
some major rules regarding child exploitation. And like the language
that was coming back to me was so severe that
I was like, holy shit, what is going on? So
I stopped h I try and put in an appeal
(03:48):
to have things looked at, and I like immediately get
back an email from Meta, which is Facebook, saying we've
received your request. We're not going to review your account.
There is no appeal available to you. This is a
final decision. Go fund yourself. You don't exist on social
media anymore. Okay, cool? Uh So that's where I was.
(04:10):
It was, it was, it was interesting. So we took
a little break from the podcast and from social media
and from all things balls and holes. Uh, not by choice,
but by circumstance. And it's been a week. I don't know, man. Uh,
I have not played any golf, and I gotta tell you,
(04:32):
I firmly believe that not playing any golf is responsible
for the fact that my life is in fucking shambles
right now. I have been raised off of social media.
I don't exist. There's everywhere you look. It's like, you know,
there's a car in the shop, there's a relationship on
the fritz, there's somebody having surgery. There's no social media there.
(04:53):
It's just that every turn, it's been crazy. And the
only thing I can draw to is the simple, simple
fact that I have gotten out and played any golf.
And I'm really starting to wonder, like, what happens when
you don't play golf? Right, I'll tell you what happens
when you don't play golf. You don't have the opportunity
(05:15):
to connect with yourself, to connect with nature, to challenge
yourself in a way that you can you know, it's
almost like a way you can control um because all
the other things that are happening are completely out of
my control. Right Like, I've had a couple of people
say things like, well, maybe it's because you did this,
or maybe it's because you did that. And at the
end of the day, I keep coming back to the
(05:37):
fact that all of the things that are swirling around
and what I am calling the universal butt fuck of
which has been these last couple of weeks really has
nothing to do with anything that I've done. Uh. If
I really take a step back and I look at
my life and I asked myself if I'm happy, and
(05:58):
if things are going my way and everything is working out,
Like the answer to all of that is, yes, all
of those things are good. I'm good. So why do
I find myself in the midst in the midst of crisis,
let's just say, in the midst of crisis chaos. Perhaps
some might call it drama, some might call it baggage.
(06:19):
I don't know. I call it life. I think that
if anything, the last few years and coming out of
COVID has shown us a lot in the regards to
how people work, how people mitigate there, or how people
kind of find their way through certain situations, what it's
like to deal with things and people when things go wrong,
(06:41):
All things, mind you, that you don't have to deal
with when you're on the golf course. Right, Like you
go to play golf, You're there to do one thing.
You might be challenging yourself, and you might be having
like a mental game, and you might have all of
these interior things happening, but like there are no real
exterior your issues coming at you when you're on the
(07:02):
golf course, which is I'm starting to find why it
is that people are probably so addicted to going out
and playing golf, whether you're by yourself, whether you're with friends. Um,
it's almost as if you can solve the world's problems
out on the golf course. But quite frankly, I think
what it is is that you can insulate yourself in
(07:23):
a way out on the golf course where it's you
and your sticks and the ball. It's literally the only
sport that has the ball at rest. Anything that happens
in the sport of golf is because you made it
happen not because of somebody else's doing. And I think
that there is a real draw to that in today's society,
given the fact that everything we deal with typically has
(07:45):
to do with somebody else has caused something shitty. Right,
Like my car got recalled. It's in the shop for
weeks on end. Like I didn't do that. They funked
up and made my car shitty. Therefore it got recalled.
It wasn't working, right, it wasn't safe. Now it's in
the shot up, right Like that was somebody else that
did that. I didn't cause that. I got I got hacked,
(08:05):
right Like I didn't cause that. I just happened to
have a Facebook account that had an AD account that
somebody took advantage of, right Like, Look, I I don't
want to sound like the victim here, because that's this
is this is you know. I think it was easy
at the beginning of this week to look at all
the different things that were going on and to fall
into victim and be like, oh my god, why me,
(08:25):
what's this? What's this all about? What does it mean?
But I tell you what, there is nothing more defining
than having your social media or your business or your
personal life or any of those sort of means of
communication ripped away from you and made inaccessible. Uh, to
remind you of how vulnerable you can be and how
(08:49):
much you rely on, whether it's checking in, seeing what
people are doing, posting things for your business, posting things personally. Um,
I think there's a real addiction thing happening here again
when we talk about golf. One of the beautiful things
about being out of the golf course, at least for me,
aside from playing this amazing game and challenging myself, is
(09:09):
the fact that like I do not touch my fucking phone,
I don't check to see who's doing what. I don't
check my emails. I there's one person on breakthrough, which
is my son, and he even knows unless you're like
bleeding out on the floor while I'm golfing, Like, don't
fucking call me. I don't want to be bothered. This
is my time to connect with myself, connect with nature,
(09:31):
go play a game, and just check the funk out.
So I don't know, I guess you know. What does
this bring us to? This brings us to a couple
of different scenarios, right, Like, what have I learned by
being targeted by a sophisticated Facebook hacker. UM a lot.
You know, it was really interesting. Um, in the midst
(09:55):
of finding out that this was happening, I read a
lot of articles, I did a lot of research, and
everything that I was coming upon basically stated that like,
if you have something like this happening, one you're fucked
to you're never going to get your ship back. And three,
even if you find somebody somehow to look at it
who works at meta, the likelihood that you'll ever recover
(10:18):
anything is very slim. Um. That to me is it's
a challenge, right, Um, if you tell me that I
can't do something I was raised with, uh, the type
of programming that when somebody says no, there's always a yes.
(10:39):
You can always find a way, and the people who
find a way are the ones who succeed. Right. So
cut to um, everything I'm reading, everything I'm seeing says
there's no way you'll get anything back, You're fucked forever,
You'll never be allowed on Facebook or social media or Instagram.
And you know, I really had to take a minute
and be like, Okay, does that really fucking matter? Do
I care? And I will say, like day after day
(11:01):
that this went on like, I got more and more
comfortable with the fact that, like, this was not a
part of my life. I learned that there are all
kinds of hacks out there. The one that specifically happened
to me was quite genius. I'm thankful to my producer Jason,
who somehow found an article in the midst of all
of this, when we were trying to find a solution
(11:21):
UH that clearly explained everything that I was going through.
He sent it to me he said, just you've got
to read this. I think this is what's happening to you.
And I read it while driving. I do not recommend um,
and as I like read paragraph by paragraph, I was like,
holy sh it, this is what's happening to me. And
then I get to the part where they're like, so,
(11:42):
the whole part of this hack is that the hacker
hacks into your account and takes your ad account, sets
their own ads to serve wherever they want, and they
set the budget to infinity, which means that it will
like there's there's no stopping it, right, Like, this ad
will serve till the end of time until somebody stops it.
(12:03):
There is no cut off, there is no budget, like
just go buck fucking wild. Uh. So somebody got into account,
they set their ads to spend and to serve all
over the world without a limit, and then for the
colossal go funk yourself, they post typically child porn to
(12:25):
your account, which is an automatic disabling of all social
media the second that you post something in that realm uh.
Not only does it get reported to the authorities, but
it automatically shuts down your Facebook, your Instagram, and anything
you had attached to it. Little do we know, but
they know that the entire time they're running this entire scam,
(12:49):
your AD account is continuing to run. So while I'm
reading this article and I'm hearing this, I check my
am x account, where I unfortunately find that there is
charge after charge after charge being made and I am
paying uh for somebody's ads as well as making somebody
I don't know quite a bit of money. Uh, while
I cancel all my credit cards while out of town,
(13:11):
freak out that I've lost my business, freak out that
I've lost my personal everything, and basically just had an
existential crisis. So um, thank you too, Jason, my big
brother who figured it out. I was able to stop everything.
I was able to cancel everything. It was at least
able to triage the bleed. Uh, so that was good.
(13:34):
I reached out to everybody I know, which brings me
to my next point. It is not what you can do,
but it is who you know. I think everybody has
heard this in one way or another from someone in
their life for their whole life, right, It's it's all
(13:54):
about who you know. So who do I know that
can help me in a situation where most people are
fucked Well? Luckily for me, I've been in the entertainment
industry for plus years and I've had a pretty amazing career,
and I have a lot of people in a lot
of high places that a lot of big tech companies.
So I throughout the net. I throughout the net to
(14:15):
a dear, dear, dear friend of mine and colleague um
who was the first person who said, oh my god,
we've got a call such and such there, you know,
director there, And then I had my producer and the
team at the network on their social side working on it. Basically,
I asked every single person that I know it met
at like, here's what's happening, how do we do this?
(14:35):
How do we fix this? I'm not a child pornographer, like,
let's please save balls and holes. So um, after five
six days of a lot of silence, this ticket got
escalated and we got it in the hands of somebody, thankfully,
who could look at it, and they recognized that I
was in fact hacked, and that my ad platform was
(14:57):
in fact used inappropriately, and that a lot of money
was spent, and that I was not necessarily responsible for that.
I've been given all of that back. I've been given
access back to my add account, I've gotten all of
my accounts secure, and we're back. We're back. So what
does that mean? I don't fucking know you, guys, like,
I wanted this back so bad. I've worked really hard
(15:20):
to build this audience and to communicate with everybody, and
now I have it back and I'm literally afraid to
touch it. Uh. I don't know, guys. Is social media
ruining our lives? A week ago? I wouldn't have said so. Presently.
I can point to a myriad of things that have
(15:42):
happened in the last five days. All of it ties
back to social media. None of it's good. Where does
that leave us? How often do check it? How often
are you on Facebook? How often are you on Instagram?
How often are you on TikTok? Don't even get me
started on TikTok Because as I was banned off of
you know, Meta and their products, I discovered TikTok, which
(16:04):
I dabbling and Balls and Holes has a page on um.
Here's what I have to say about TikTok. It's brilliant.
I completely understand why it's ruining the youth of America.
I fell into a numerous TikTok k holes over the
last five days, where like two hours had passed and
I had watched some of the greatest, shortest, loveliest content
(16:26):
I've ever seen in my life. I understand why people
don't want to watch TV while they don't want to
go to movies like they're all on TikTok. I also
see how incredibly addictive it is, how it absolutely dominates
your serotonin and dopamine, and it absolutely will fuck the
youth of America. That being said, I've enjoyed the break.
(16:49):
I'm having a hard time coming back on. I obviously
have a lot of friends and brands and people that
we deal with for Balls and Holes that I've really missed,
and we have lots of opportunities there. So here's what
I have to say about this. Um, if you have
accounts on Facebook and on Instagram and you do business
from there, make sure you're secure. I can't tell you
(17:10):
how vulnerable it makes you once some idiot has decided
to take advantage of you and somehow get in and
hack into your life. And for me, it was just
social media and you know, the numerous platforms, but it
was also bank accounts. It was, you know, the same
day that I got hacked, I was also victim to
(17:33):
an airline fraud. I had realized about staying at Moms
that I had not got an email to check into
my flight that was leaving from her house back to
l A. And I thought this is weird. So I
went to go try and check in for my flight,
and I received a message that my reservation had been canceled,
which then led to five minutes on the phone with
(17:55):
Jan from United. Jan from United, what do I have
to say to you? Good Lord? You must be in
like Oklahoma, somewhere on acreage, sitting in your house taking calls,
because holy sh it, Um, I called in. I explained
that I was trying to check in for my flight
and they let me know that I was a no
(18:18):
show on my previous flight to where I was going. Uh,
to which I said, that is not at all the truth.
In fact, my flight was delayed for three hours. I
could have driven from my house to my mother's house
in the time it took me to take a forty
minute flight out of l a X to her. I
sat next to Justin, the aerospace engineer, who took all
(18:43):
the time in the world to explain to me that
although he was an aerospace engineer, he had no idea
how planes stayed up in the air, and that statistically
we had a better chance of surviving the flight we
were on being on a passenger plane than we did
on one of the big planes. Uh. My higlot looked
like he was too old to fly the plane. The
(19:03):
plane was a Canadian Air new plane. Like I could
explain everything about my experience of the flight that I
took that they said I did not take. By the
end of this day, I was obviously at a point
of am I in the twilight zone? What is happening?
I've been erased off the social media. I've been on
airplanes that they say I'm not on, Like, holy shit,
(19:24):
what is happening, I don't know again twilight Zone. So
I really like sat back and started to believe, like
the farther that I got away from my passion, which
is golf and our podcast and my life of golf.
The more of the universe was completely out to be
in resistance with me. So, you know, I don't know,
(19:46):
what does that lead you to? Um, you know, in
in conclusion, it's not what you can do, it's who
you know. I overcame the impossible. I got through to
human beings at Metta and got my Facebook and my
Instagram and everything back. That was last night. That was
the wu who. By the time I found out that
(20:07):
everything had come back online, I was so exhausted and
had already become at peace with the fact that I
had lost everything that it was very anticlimactic that I'd
gotten everything back. Brian was way more excited than I was.
I feverishly dove in and started, you know, throwing money
at apps like Duo and you know, two factor and Authenticate, authentic, authentic,
(20:31):
authentication whatever the fuck, you know, like they fucking let
you know when somebody's trying to get into your ship, identity, theft,
you name it, like, I've spent a lot of money
in that arena, So I don't know that was that.
That's where we were on our break. We're gonna take
a break and uh we'll be back. Okay, so we're back.
(20:56):
You've got me holes, dessic holes a minute your life. Um,
now that we've got that all the way, I guess
I want to talk about golf a little bit, which
leads me to my next question is the connection I
have to my husband. The only connection I have is
at golf. Uh, what do we have if we don't
have golf? When you have a connection with somebody in
(21:18):
your life and in a relationship that you both share
the same passion, if somebody is having a moment and
they're having to deal with real life or kids or
drama or chaos or whatever you want to call it, baggage,
I don't know. Uh, and you're not able to go
do the thing with your spouse or your loved one
that you enjoy doing together. Does that mean you have
(21:40):
nothing in common? And I wish I had an answer
to that, but at this moment in time, I do
not know. I know that I adore Brian, I know
that we play a lot of golf. I know that
we have a million things in common. I know that
some of our best ideas come when we're hanging out together,
(22:02):
whether we're walking the dogs or playing golf. I know
that I can rise to the occasion to have conversations
about the thing that we're most passionate about. I think
there's a lot of women out there who can't have
conversations about gear and about analytics, and about sports and
about things that their husbands are into. But it's really
made me wonder, you know, it's this the only connection
(22:25):
that we have. I don't think it is, but sometimes
I wonder. I guess that brings me to my next point,
which is how men and women have completely different experiences
in life. And I will start you with this story.
The other day, after coming home and uh traveling with
(22:46):
my mom and taking care of things and experiencing the
universal butt funck of the universe, I found myself in
a place where I got home, like Holden Spike was broken.
I had to take that in, like there was just
all these things that I had to do. And Brian
had had a bunch of depots and he just wanted
to go play golf, so he was like, I'm gonna
go play golf tomorrow, and I have to tell you.
(23:07):
Like at first, my first reaction was like, oh my god,
I want to go play too. And then my next
reaction was like, oh my god, thank god, I can
stay home all by myself. Holding We'll be at school,
Brian will be on the golf course, and I can just,
like legit, lay in bed with the lights off, and
nobody will be there to look at me, judge me,
or tell me what to do or any of those things. Right, So,
like I was stoked, like my needs were gonna get met.
(23:30):
I didn't have to ask for what I needed, Like
the universe was finally starting to fall into place, like
everybody was going to be taken care of and I
was going to get what I needed. Cut to, Brian
goes to go play golf. He goes, he plays, like,
he checks in, He's like, oh, hey, how's it going.
Are you doing? I'm like, oh, I'm good whatever. Um.
He comes home and we end up in a conversation
where he tells me I was out, I was playing.
(23:53):
I felt rushed. I had finished eighteen, I wanted to
play seven, and I felt guilty and I felt bad
and I felt like I shouldn't do that, and I
was just sitting there perplexed. Right, He's like I felt
all of these things because of you, And I kind
(24:13):
of sat there in this moment and was like, Okay,
like I hear you, but I'm really having a hard
time connecting with this because I'm not that person. I
think that a lot of you golfers out there have
the relationship with your wife where golf is a negative thing.
You go to play with the boys, you catch shit,
you're doing bad things, you're drinking, you're not home on time,
(24:33):
Like whatever the funk it is for you, Like that's fine,
but like that is not what it is like in
our house. In our house, if one of us is
going to play golf, it's fucking have a great time,
be awesome, check in if you want. If not, who
gives a ship, Like go do your thing. And for
me specifically, like a lot of times when I don't
go play golf with Brian, that is my time to
like hang out at home, do whatever the funk I want.
(24:55):
I mean, I might walk around naked, I might masturbate,
I might clean the house, I might make phone calls.
I'm take care of ship, I might not do anything
like who cares, Like it is my time. So for
all of you people out there who have this preconceived
notion that you're out doing something shameful or bad, or
that your wife's have a problem with it, which they
very may well like they might have a problem with it, right, Like,
(25:18):
I have no idea what you're all dealing with at home.
But in our home, I totally promote golf. I totally
promote going out with your friends. I totally promote autonomy.
I totally promote having your own life. In fact, you
having your own life allows me to have my own
life or nobody's looking at me judging me for whatever
it is. I decided to do um. And it was
so interesting for him to come home and convey this
(25:41):
to me because I was having a completely different experience.
And I had to tell him like brand, like, you're
sitting here and you're telling me that you felt all
the shame and guilt about like you should be here
and you should be paying attention to me and you
shouldn't go play twenty seven And like meanwhile, I was
sitting here being like, oh my god, I love being
home alone. Nobody's here, I'm walking around naked, I'm eating pizza,
(26:03):
like I'm drinking some wine, I'm eating pasta, I'm watching
ships creak, and like nobody is the wiser. And I
even had a moment where I was like, oh God,
I hope he plays twenty seven so that I can
just chill the funk out and like not have to
be present he comes home, he has all these feelings.
I explained to him, this is my experience. He explained
to me what his experiences, And I'm like, what is happening?
(26:25):
Like how is it that two people who adore each
other so much and are this close and tell each
other everything can be out, you know, exercising their autonomy
and having two completely different experiences. Like I didn't want
to golf with him that day. I wanted to stay home.
He wanted to be out on the golf course. He
wanted to do his own thing. He didn't want to
(26:46):
have to check in, he didn't want to have to
be anywhere, And like if we had just had the
conversation with each other, And I guess that's where I
went wrong, right, Like because I was getting my needs
met without having to ask for it. I didn't bring
it up. What I realized may have been the mistake
is that even know I was going to get my
needs met and he was going to leave and I
was going to get what I need. Maybe I guess
I should have said, I'm really excited that you're going
(27:08):
golfing by yourself. I'm really looking forward to being home
and being by myself and having some time, and therefore
he would have felt comfortable to go do what he
wanted to do. I'm still having a tough time with that.
I'm still struggling with that, right, Like, I don't know,
you tell me. I know that there's a lot of
men out there who have a lot of confrontation around
(27:28):
their autonomy and their relationship and what they're allowed to
do versus what they want to do. And I don't know, Like,
at the end of the day, I'm just not into
that ship. Like one of the things I love about
the relationship I have is that, like it is easy
and nobody tells either of us what to do. I
don't tell him what to do, he doesn't tell me
what to do. I don't ask for permission. He doesn't
(27:49):
ask for permission. But I guess there are moments that
need to still be fine tuned, because even though he
was getting his needs met and I was getting my
needs met, like, there was still an issue. So I
don't know that's something to dive into once we have
Brian Balls back on the show. Um, I guess that
all brought me to getting really quiet and starting to
(28:11):
reflect and starting to wonder what is this all about?
Like does golf keep you focused? Is it something that
we use, is it a tool? Is it you know?
What is golf for the golfer? Like for me? I
guess what I've kind of come down to is that
golf keeps me focused, but it is also the greatest
(28:31):
excuse for disassociation from reality. Right Like when I'm out
on the golf course, I'm not answering my phone, I
don't care what everybody's doing. I don't care if anybody
needs me. I'm not solving anybody's problems. I am out
doing my own thing. That is why I fucking love golf.
It is me, it is my sticks, it is the ball,
and it is nothing else. It's the people I'm with.
(28:52):
I love that. I love that, but it is a
real disassociation of life, and I think that that's something
for us to look into. I think that you know,
a lot of people who like aren't into golf, who
are with golfers think that golf is this excuse and
and if I'm being honest and we're truly looking at it,
(29:13):
is it is an excuse and it's it's an excuse
to disassociate and to get present with yourself and your
surroundings and nature and the ball in the strategy around it.
And I think that there should be more talk about
why that's a good thing, right, Like, I don't know,
(29:35):
I don't know. Maybe maybe I'm just you know, maybe
I'm wrong. I don't know. You tell me. Um. Bottom
line this week has been the proverbial back off challenge.
I know. I've talked at length before about Country Club
Adjacent and they're amazing content that they put out where
they go to the pro ams and they stand behind
people and they try and get them to funk up
by saying fucked up shipped to them while they go
(29:57):
to tee off. Well, I can tell you that I
feel like the universe served me the proverbial back off
challenge this week. And I don't say that to be
a victim, and I don't say that to be oh
poor me. I say that because as I imagined country
club adjacent standing behind me at every turn and every
call and every funk up that I received this week,
I just kept fucking laughing over imagining these boys standing
(30:23):
behind me trying to fucking throw me off my game
while I was trying to concentrate. And if there is
something that I have learned from this week, it is
I am awesome. I have grace, I am strong as fuck,
and I can get through anything. I can do it
on the course. I can start seven months ago shooting
(30:43):
a hundred ten. I can be here today talking to
you as a low eighties player. I can play with
the boys. I can win tournaments. I can deal with
issues regarding my car. I can get thrown off flights,
I can get erased from social media, and you know
I I am still here. So um, I don't know.
(31:06):
You know, like being a woman in a man's sport,
what is that? It's I mean for me, it's something
that I've dealt with my whole life. Every job that
I've had, I have been the only lady at the table.
I have been the boss. I have been surrounded by men.
I have been the woman in charge who gets paid
(31:26):
less than all of my counterparts. I have been the
woman who has worked harder than every single person I
have worked with in order to prove myself and earn
what it is I'm being given, even though it was
never enough. Um, it's no different in golf. If you're
a woman and you play golf, you're in a man's sport,
and how you carry yourself and how you handle yourself
(31:49):
and how you get through your game and your day
and your communication with the ones around you means everything.
So for my ladies out there who play a man game,
fucking rock on with yourself. Keep doing what you're doing,
believing yourself, keep working hard, and strive to be better
(32:09):
than anybody you're around, and you'll succeed. Right Like, I
had an interesting conversation today with a friend about inherently
being brought up in a household where success meant suffering.
I was taught that to be successful it has to
(32:31):
be hard. And I'm forty one. I've done a lot
of work and I have come to terms with the
fact that that is not the truth. And there are
things in your life that you inherently have that are
good and that come easy. And just because something comes
easy doesn't mean you didn't succeed. I think everybody needs
to step back, reframe things. I think everybody needs to
(32:52):
look within. I think everybody needs to work on themselves.
I think everyone needs to figure out what's important to
them and keep going. Everything doesn't have to be hard.
Life can be easy. It's all about how you get
through your day. It's all about how you handle it.
(33:12):
Life can serve you ship, it's how you serve it
up and how you choose to eat it. Um. That
brings me to my mulligan. Does anybody have a time machine?
Because I would happily get the funk in it? Um?
What do I have to say? Well, here's the deal, guys. Um,
(33:35):
if you are on social media, I highly highly suggest
that you protect yourself and find the best condom on
the internet, because there are people out there who have
shitty intentions and who will take advantage of you and
fuck your ship up. So get two factor authentication, get
(33:56):
something that checks for adware and spy we're on your computer. Uh,
protect yourself, Protect yourself, protect yourself, find all of the
things that alert you when somebody is trying to funk
your world up. That's all I have to say. It's
it's simple, it's easy. I'm glad to be back. I
look forward to recording next week with my lovely husband Brian,
(34:21):
and hopefully getting everything back on track, continuing to build
this Thanks for listening. I love all of you, and
thanks for being here. Thanks, thanks, thanks, Like, what do
you say when you find yourself getting butt fucked by
the universe? Put a smile on your face, sit back
(34:41):
and ask yourself this one question, how will I be
entertained today? That will be the difference in how you
handle the next thing that is coming your way. You
can find us on Balls, the Letter in Holes, Golf,
on Instagram, Facebook, ticked off all the social media platforms
(35:02):
that I got banned from this week. I love you
all and I'll see you next week. Balls and Holes
is produced and distributed by the eight Side Network
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