Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Your world of head.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Would you believe you live nosillion pieces? Would you believe in.
Speaker 3 (00:18):
Banana da Banana guys goals, non binary pals, Welcome to
bananas a bonusade.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Hello Scottie, Hey Kurt Brown Oler, what's up? Man?
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Scotty and I had a delightful time sure did at
the Russian Baths on Saturday.
Speaker 2 (00:42):
My goodness, I know it's been too long. You meet
Kristin rob Just what is it about sitting in two
hundred and fifty degree rooms with friends that just really
brings you together? It is?
Speaker 1 (00:55):
It is the It is the best social event of
the I got.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
I really do.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Wish I could do it on a regular basis. Yes,
that place that we win is cost prohibitive, but ye
we do we spat. I mean the good thing about
the place we win is the hot room is so
hot that if like, if you're really good at sweating
it out, you could do about twenty minutes in there.
But ye, we were doing like ten fifteen and being
(01:22):
like cold plunch.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
And you know the problem with the we spa is
that it's separated by gender and it's all fully nude,
and so that is the like I think I'm at
the age finally I used to be just preferred.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Being naked ween are out.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, I was weener out man, And I think at
this point I don't necessarily want to hang out with
my friend's nude.
Speaker 2 (01:47):
Yes, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
You know I want to have some bathing suit on
it that I want to I want to eat in
my bathing suit.
Speaker 2 (01:55):
I got no problem with that.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
But that's probably my that's I think as.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
I've a one of the main things that's changed about me.
And that's fine because I've certainly seen you naked. I
don't think you've seen me naked. And we could just
keep it that way because you know, I'll always have
the upper hand no matter what.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (02:15):
It was so damn fun, though, And there's something about
like the exhaustion, Like later that night when I got home,
I was so relaxed. It was oh yeah, it was
like and you and I both aren't drinking at the time,
so in the past we would have finished an entire
bottle of stolely yeah and eating pickles and fallen over
(02:35):
and then but we were like sober boys, so we
were just hydrating, eating salty foods, eating smoked fish, and
then I got home and I was just built out
of warm jelly. It was wonderful. It was It's a
really nice feeling.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And my god, I tell you, NA Beers I was
talking about it that night. I talk about it NonStop.
NA beers have come a long way.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Have I talked about this on the fucking pipe? I
don't know, but it's true. We are. They are damn good.
We're drinking Stella nas which tastes basically like Stella, which
still is not a top twenty beer for me, but
if it's the only option, I'll take it. Guinnesses.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
I've been drinking Guinnesses at home. Bit Burgers, another of
my favorites. And I wasn't a beer guy. I mean
I used to be a beer guy and then I
like really ramped up my drinking when I was like, no,
I almost only drink vodka soda because that is healthier.
And then it was just like get ready to increase
you were alcohol consumption by one thousand percent.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
I know, it's really accurate. It's really accurate. Also, Happy
three eleven day to those who celebrate. I help ambers
the color of your energy. For those who don't know
what I'm talking about you're probably too young or too cool,
or maybe too old even. But there was a band
called three eleven in the nineties. Oh yeah, they weren't
the worst band. They weren't the best band, but they
(04:01):
were wildly popular around nineteen ninety five, and today's their
big day. And I can vividly remember being an Ocean City,
Maryland when I was fourteen or fifteen years old. I
was with some of those two years old than me driving,
I think person I haven't thought about in twenty years,
and when we got out of her car to go
(04:22):
into a house party, she's like, wait, we have to
hide my three eleven CD because I don't want somebody
breaking into my car.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
That was and only in the car.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
Well, yeah, there was like a case logic CD thing,
but there was a new three eleven CD and it
just said three to eleven in their font on the front,
and we had to put it under her seat. The
reason I thought about this is because I was walking
walking the dog today and saw a saw a parked
car in my neighborhood with a what are those a club?
The club?
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Yeah, it goes on this classic classic club and I'm.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Like, good for you for just rocking the club for
thirty five years. Stranger, Well, not a great car just yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
No, the club is when you're gonna leave your doors open.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
Yeah, you're gonna.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Leave your doors open. But yeah, the club was. It
was ubiquitous foreverwhell in the in the nineties, everywhere, everybody
had a club. Just put your club on. Better put
your club on. I am one hundred per percent sure
there's a very easy way to pick a club. I'm
sure there is.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
There was. There was a guy on twenty twenty or
sixty minutes years ago. It was like a professional car
thief that now helps law enforcement type of guy. Yeah,
he broke it. He would just cut the steering wheel
and then you just pull the club right off, just
like the steering wheels. If you have like a bolt cutter,
you just cut the steering wheel and then pull the
club right off. But it just reminded me of we
have to hide a three eleven CD because we don't
(05:50):
want somebody to That's how hot that band was. In
nineteen ninety five. My neighbor during the Great Car his
name is Brandon. I don't remember his last name, or
actually I just don't. I caught him brand them the
photographer because he was a photographer and he was my neighbor.
That's all you need to know about neighbors.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
All you need to know. I love the I love
the distance that is naturally kept with nature with neighbors.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
I really really do enjoy it. Hi.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
And then we don't have to have a conversation every
time we see each other. Just wave and keep walking, wave,
say hi.
Speaker 2 (06:21):
Keep going. And and he was a nice dude that
I knew his photographer, and I knew his wife had
been a Pink Power Ranger at one point, so she
which is pretty cool. They were like five generations of
Power Rangers. Actual, she was an actress that was one
of the rangers. It took me a very long time
(06:42):
to process that sentence. It was behind us. We weren't
Power Ranger boys. We were Transformer. Well. I was a
Ninja turtle boy myself. And pretty cool idea that their
teenage and their mutants and their ninjas and their turtles
and it's all in the name and they just say it.
And then favorite food pizza. I mean, they were bat
(07:02):
in a thousand when they came up with the Yeah,
best friend and trainer giant rat.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
I wonder if there was one person who was like
this was my idea. I'm sure has Bro has erased
their name, but I bet you there is one person
who was like I named the teenage mutant Ninja Turtles
and created them.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Named after the great artists. I mean the.
Speaker 1 (07:22):
Fact that they were named after Italian Renaissance artists. I mean,
all it's so stony, it's awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
It's very creative. But he during lockdown, during the Great Choar,
his catalytic converter got stolen out of like basically our
all shared driveways. And then I think it happened again,
like with suit the day after he got it repaired,
and the cops were like, they keep hitting the same
car repeatedly. Yeah, until if they just know you're gonna
(07:52):
keep getting it, they're gonna come stealing it. So we
were all locked down, and I remember he just set
up booby traps. He had so much free time. He
just put wires and like he like hung strings and
secret trip wires. Then he put like board nail boards
facing up all around the car. But he like fortified
his car during the Great Car and like, good for him.
(08:13):
What better thing was there to do than defend your Honda,
the CATALYT catalytic converter.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I mean, I've known so many people who have had
their stolen, but I saw a uh, the craziest bumpersticker. Okay,
bumperstickers in LA have gone off. They're off the charts.
I'm not. It's a new thing and I'm into it.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
I am into it.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
It's like and they're looney tunes. They none of them
make a lick of sense, and I love it. This
one just said if you steal my catalytic converter, I
will kill myself. And it was all pretty small fought
so you could only read it when you were pulled
directly up to them.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Yes, I mean, what a good argument for an electric car?
Or like, I don't think you're leaf has a catalytic converter.
I don't think any electric cars have cali converters. I
also don't know what a catalyt convert does and why
were and I thought it was Cadillac like the car
for the entire life until.
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Eight years ago cataltic converter.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And then I'm like, let's just let's just bring on
the batteries, bring on the polestars.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
So here on the bonusodes. We uh, we take you,
We we give you advice, we answer your questions. Do
you do we have any would you rathers to start
off with?
Speaker 2 (09:32):
You know, hop right into it? Here's one Kyle Millett
sent this in and Kurt we may have done this
one before. I don't know, I mean not his. But
would you rather have the ability to teleport anywhere? But
when you show up your naked which we sort of
talked about at the top of the pod, or the
ability to fly but you always get in motion sickness?
(09:53):
It's an interesting question.
Speaker 1 (09:54):
Yeah, that's a really that's a nice one. That is
a very it's a clean one.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
And if take the family.
Speaker 1 (10:01):
It's not an easy immediate answer, right.
Speaker 2 (10:04):
Right, because the joy I mean you're would you instantaneously
rather be in Greece right now or would you rather
fly there and feel kind of sick the whole time?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
So if you could so, I'm imagining you can choose
where you teleport too.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
Yeah, it's anytime you teleport, you just end up and
you land in your naked.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right and you can can't you can't bring clothes with you.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
No, but that doesn't mean you can't teleport to a
TJ Max changing room and just put on whatever anybody
left behind. Right.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
But that's the thing is, like what you would need
to do is you would need to have a place
that has clothes pre booked for you, because like just
getting anywhere naked, that you could get in trouble so fast, agreed,
you know, and like you and I I don't either,
So I don't.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Every shape and form and you and I never not
even boats we've been on. Love it, but I imagine
it's a horrible feeling like I hate. I've been thrown
up in so long. I hate throwing up. And if
that's if it leads to that level of nausea, I
will go transport uh naked, teleport naked? Excuse me that
would I think flying is awesome, but if.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
You're if you're not nauseous the whole time, it's it's
got it's you're just doing wouldn't want to do it.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
Birds making fun of you, flying snakes are making fun
of you.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
It is a very cool weakness to give a superhero.
You know that he just never flies, and they're just yeah,
and it's like, but you can fly, and he's just
like I don't, I know, I don't. I don't like
doing it.
Speaker 2 (11:46):
I'm having it, and then it.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
Turns out he's just nauseus the whole time.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
I think, I.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Guess I gotta go teleport naked. You gotta call ahead
and be like, hey, I need I need clothes in
this room, in this in this private area. Mmmm, and
getting get used to it, and then get used to
figuring out how to steal clothes. I guess yeah, Oh,
I don't know. Now I'm going back and forth again.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, that's that's how you know it's a good one.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
That's how you know it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (12:18):
I would rather be somewhere instantly, Like I'm not thinking
that you could fly around the world at Superman speed,
at Homelander speed. Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Yeah, I'm teleporting naked and just hoping for the best,
hoping for the best, always choosing a nude beach to
land at.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
WHOA, that's a great hiccup. That's it. You just go,
where's the best nude beach in Santorini? Yeah, that's great.
So it's like you got a frisbee caught on your roof.
Sure you could fly up there, or you could just
teleport up there and then put the frisbee over your
meats and Jesus and climb down and hold nobody calls
(12:59):
the cops. Also, before we move ahead, I sent about
twenty three twenty four dry sixty nine bumper stickers today.
That's so great because today's the day. I think sixty
nine days from New Year's Day was yesterday, Okay, So
congratulations to everybody that did it. It was really cute. Kurt.
(13:20):
We had three couples that I sent two too because
they did it together, said two bumper stickers to them,
So that's great. I mean, nothing better than keeping it
dry with your the one you love. It's all about
keeping a try.
Speaker 1 (13:32):
It's the best. Congratulations.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
If you've messaged with me and I've confirmed that I
was going to send you one and you did a
dry sixty nine and you haven't gotten yet, just email
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com and say Scottie,
I didn't get the bumper sticker, and I'll hit you
up because I've been keeping track of a lot of them,
but we're in the two fifty to two sixty range
for number i've cent, so just don't want to miss
any dry sixty nine ers.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Nice All right, here's here's some advice.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
Oh good, hello, baby Banana Boys. A big fan over here,
and I really could use your advice. So I live
in a beautiful neighborhood in Chicago cool, and I am
(14:18):
frequently out and about walking my neighborhood with my dog.
And I've noticed over the last few months that someone
has been allowing there, I'm gonna guess larger dog to
just absolutely shit everywhere, up and.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Down everywhere, up and down the block. It goes on
more to describe that it's not nice to look at,
and we agree with you, but I'm gonna stop it there.
We're gonna stop it there. So the question that she
has is is there anything that I can do that's
a fun way to try and get this to stop? Now?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
Yes, I have.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
I have an immediate book that you need to.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Get absolutely run to your computer or local bookshop or
local bookshop.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
You know what I've been doing. So I've been trying
not to shop on Amazon, and I've just been doing
I just you just google local book like your local
bookstore near me, and there's so many and just order
it there and then it takes two extra days and
that's all you have to wait. But I did, so, Yeah,
go to your local bookstore and get a book called
(15:36):
Sprinkle Brigade Legendary. This was so the gentleman Matt Murphy,
who I started to we started Chunk and Cheguin with
And if you don't know Chunk and Changuin, we did
it early on in the podcast explained exactly what it was.
But Chunk was half chicken half skunk. He was eight
feet tall and shot water out of his butt. And
(15:56):
Chegwin was his half brother who shot shot out of
his button. He was about nine feet tall, and they
were like these animals that we got inside him. We
would do these street gorilla street theater events in New
York City back in the late nineties. Anyway, his next
art thing that Matt did was the Sprinkle Brigade with
(16:19):
a bunch of buddies, and so they would go and
find shit, dog shit on the streets in New York
and then they would decorate it. So first just started
off with them putting sprinkles on him, glitter, no actual sprinkles.
The very first one was like birthday cake sprinkles.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Oh yeah, yeh yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:36):
But then they noticed that as soon as they put
birthday cake sprinkles on. They would take a photo and
then the pigeons would just start eating the shit, and
then we're like felt bad.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
For the pigeons.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
So then they just started like decorating them and then
creating kind of like lint little mini scenes around them.
And then they so then like there's one that's like
a whole Christmas scene with like a little Christmas tree
and Christmas presents. There's another one they just they were
doing with this like biodegradable silver paint and they were
(17:05):
just silvering them and golding them. That just looks nice.
It just looks great.
Speaker 2 (17:10):
It might be the answer, but we'll keep silver and gold.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Some other ones, yeah, they did have some like sprinkle
some some like glitter that they did with. There was
other like Norman Rockwell style, like Mailman.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
There were army men, there were little men men fighting
on both sides, or it was like cops. It was
like cops and cop dogs on one side, and then
you might have been going here. But my very favorite
one was just setting up a glass of wine and
a knife and fork and a napkin as all on
either side of the dog shit, So it just looked
like a fancy meal in the middle of the sidewalk
that was legendary.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
So the Sprinkle Brigade.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
The book.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
It is a book of photography that Matt and his
buddies did and you can buy it right now and
it will give you, i think, one hundred different fun
ideas of what you can do with the poop on
your street.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Ye, and it'll let somebody know what. I had a
guy that used to pee in the elevator of my
building in New York sometimes, Oh my god, yeah, And
so you would get in and you would just be
like I remember that, remember, yeah, And you couldn't figure
out what it was. And I would just hang funny
signs in it, insulting the person nondirectly. But it worked
(18:23):
all the time, like it would. It would go away
for four months and then he'd be in it again
and it'd put up another sign, and they would just
say things like because it was a dude. I knew
it was a dude. It was only a six story building,
and it was the elevator was fast enough where it
was like, there's no time to pop a squad. We'll
just say it that way. And so I would be
(18:45):
like to the gentleman with the micro penis who's urinating
in the elevator, We all commend you wonderful stream, sorry
for your unfortunate genitalia. And then I would just put
the management and I would put them up all the time,
and I think it like really rattled them because they
thought they were getting away with something. And then there're
anybody who's a dickhead enough to do that, Yeah, has
(19:08):
a fragile ego, and so going after their ego feels
like just letting them know that, you know, and that
everybody agrees that they are a giant loser. It'll eat
it them and there's yeah, they don't know it's you
leaving that. I think that's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (19:26):
All right, Scotty, you got anything? Uh yeah, I got.
Speaker 2 (19:29):
Some advice too, And so insummation and this is also
a sprinkle brigade thing too, is like go get those
really long wood bamboo skewers like for grilling, and write
a little note that is legible and like on an
index card and tape it to one of those skewers
and then stick it in that dog poop and just
make fun of the owner over and over and over
(19:52):
because other neighbors whould feel in the same way that
you do. Are gonna laugh, They're gonna take pictures of it,
they're gonna put it on socials. But just write little
notes and stick them in the dogshit on long poles,
which again sprinkle brigade. I think did a dear John like,
I'm leaving you in a pile of shit. So just
let that small person know that everybody just thinks they're
(20:13):
a loser. Yeah, easy peasy, h Alita, I believe it's
Alita in need some advice, a lead ale in this
is a sweet one, banana boys. I need some advice
on the next advice bonuside should come around the time
when I'm returning to work after an accident that happened
in October. I now have a large and obvious scar
(20:35):
down my right cheek and a bit on my jaw.
I work in a very fast paced bar with lots
of locals and tons of rich Jabroni's during the summer. Okay,
so she looks in hell Okay, okay. I. As a result,
I have a lot of face to face time with
people who are too drunk to realize they're saying something dumb.
And I'm really getting tired of retelling the story explaining
(20:57):
my surgeries, etc. Could you guys get me a handful
of ridiculous responses that I can memorize so short, we're
talking short stuff to say back to the rude people
who ask or comment about my scar, preferably something kindly
and quickly to shut them up. So far I have
come up with electric toothbrush that got out of control
(21:22):
and an extra long beard trimmer. But I know you
too can maybe come up with better ones. Thanks, you're welcome. Okay,
you're welcome, all right, Okay on face and jawl needs
just something to say to drunks.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
I wonder if it looks like a treasure map at all,
because if it looks like a treasure map, I'm feeling
treasure map.
Speaker 2 (21:41):
But what are you think? I like the idea of, yeah,
it's a constellation. Yeah, it's a way to get to
a buried treasure. My grandfather put this on my face
when as a child, and it's going to lead me
to buried treasure one day. Very very Harry Potter. Yeah right.
(22:02):
Well you could also say I used to make out
so much in middle school that my braces got caught
with somebody and when we pulled apart. It rip my face,
but look these teeth and then just smile. I'm hoping
you have straight teeth. I'm guessing you do. But just
I used to make out so much when I have
braces that we got stuck. Instead of going to the hospital,
we just pulled our faces apart. But I still got
(22:23):
these beautiful pearly whites.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
You'd also say that you bit a shark. You bit
a shark on the mouth and didn't realize.
Speaker 2 (22:37):
It is weird how animals, so many animals attack just
face first.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
Yeah, they just attacked face first.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Imagine that your whole life is snakes, sharks, I mean
even goats and rams and water buffalo they're all running
out your face first. Yeah. I just thought.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
I was just hiking yesterday and a dude had a
pitbull off a leash, and you know, it just came
by and sniffed me. Very you know, very friendly dog.
But there you know, the pit it is an animal
that has been designed for its jaw to be a
skull crusher.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Yeah. Vice, it's a vice.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
It is just like, it's not the dog's fault. It's
not the dog's fault, delightful dog.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
We don't blame the dog.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
It is human's fault for designing them that way. But
I think that's maybe a dog you keep on the.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Leash, please, that's it.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
That's because it's as it was approaching me, I was
just like, this is totally fine. However, there is the
slight possibility that it could crush my skull because it
has the ability to do so.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
That's right. Also, keep your dog on a leash. Not
everybody in this world likes dogs. I mean, some people
have been attacked by dogs. They don't want to come
around a corner and see a loose dog. Just you
know how long they make leashes that are one hundred
feet long. If you aren't happy letting your dog have
one hundred feet and you don't need a dog man.
If you're cool with your dog being more than one
(24:08):
hundred feet away from you, you should not have a
pet dog. You should have a carrier pigeon, and you
should send notes to the one other doork who also
loves pigeons. You could tell people that you swallowed a
grenade and then just walk away, just yeah, I swallowed
a grenade. Yeah, I was at ROTC and they made
me swallow a grenade. Not that unbelievable.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Oh, it used to be a knife juggler.
Speaker 2 (24:32):
Oh yeah, yeah, Oh I like this yeah, oh yeah,
camp archery. They were trying to shoot an apple off
my head.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
Yeah, trying to do the William Penn's William Pen trip
Tell William Tell Yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:45):
Same diff back then, all guys wearing wigs.
Speaker 1 (24:48):
Yeah, tell him. You used to hang out with Burrows
back in the day and he tried to shoot an
apple off your head.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
You can also like do a drink that you don't
like to make a lot of, like say a car
bomb or something, you know, the always offensive car bomb.
Be like I did. I did a Yager bomb and
the pine class actually broke when I dropped the shot
glass in when I shot it, I cut my face open.
Yeah yeah, yeah, just trying. Actually, that'll make people be like,
(25:16):
oh dude, I want one. I haven't had one of
those since three eleven was the number one band in
the world in nineteen ninety five. I used to always
say wakeboarding accident for everything like that was if I
had a limp, if I had a band aid, I
would just be like, yeah, wakeboarding accident. There goes my
(25:37):
soccer scholarship. And it got an appropriate response, which was
the lightest of laughter.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Wake But but I know I love the scholarship concept.
Yeah there, and just be like it was a bummer
too because we were a D one wakeboarding school. Yeah,
I mean it was really competitive to get in. I
was a full and then that might and then that
faithful day. So I don't like to talk about it there.
It just shuts people up right there.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Yeah, it's fun, I mean, yeah, all the sharp edges skiing, snowboarding. Yeah,
I fell off a ski lift. I landed on a
skier there. It went through my head. The ski went
through my whole head, It went through my mouth and
out the back of my head. I'll pull my hair
up in a minute. It's fun. It's fun to have.
(26:30):
Kurt and I are scar guys. We like it so
just to know that we think it looks great and
we don't let the assholes ever get you down. If
that's the only thing they can think to talk about.
Speaker 1 (26:41):
Yep, you know, come on, do you got a would
you rather?
Speaker 2 (26:49):
I can certainly find another one, would you? This was
from Katie Siria Zaga. It could also be Sirirasega. I'm
gonna just call her Katie Okay, would you rather teach
middle school for five years or live through three years
of middle school? Again? She says, I've taught middle school
(27:11):
for fourteen years, so I'm interested in what the Banana
boys would choose. So would you rather teach it for
five or go through it again? I'm guessing as a
middle school aged kid for three years. So wow, in
sixth grade, seventh grade, and eighth grade again for our
international bananimals, middle school here is usually sixth grade, seventh grade,
(27:34):
eighth grade, sometimes called junior high. Wow.
Speaker 1 (27:38):
Sixth grade, seventh grade, eighth grade a fraught time, a
fraud time for children. Yeah, probably the hardest, Probably the
hardest time. I don't I think I was a I
think I was a jerk. I think I was a
jerk in sixth, seventh and eighth grade.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
See, I didn't hit puberty until I was in eighth grade,
so I was just a little guy.
Speaker 1 (28:02):
Oh really, So you were just trying to like not
like avoid everything.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
Yeah, I remember guys getting those horrible mustaches. That alone
makes me not want to teach you for five years,
just having to look at seventh grade boys and the
horrible mustaches that start to come in and they're too
young to shave. I mean, they're not growing a beard.
I would hope not. But the yeah, guys would get
armpit hair. They just got bigger. They were just bigger
(28:28):
in hit puberty and got acne and I'm just you know,
still five foot two or three and chasing girls and
the girls are chasing me. Were just runn around the
playground with nothing to do. At the end of the run,
just now I chase you, now you chase me. And
dating is passing notes, holding hands and kissing on the cheek.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I was going on dates sixth grade. Definitely a sixth
grade date. I remember went to see Dirty Dancing at
the at the Bradley Beach Cinema that date.
Speaker 2 (29:01):
That's a good date. That's a good date.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
The Bradley Beach Cinema, though, was the one that showed
a movie like eight months after it came out for
like three.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
The dollar cinemas were we had the Village Theater in
Reister's Town and the Village got it. Yeah, six months
later Dollar theater.
Speaker 1 (29:20):
God, it was great, delight, a delight.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
Yeah. Then we would go, you'd go. My parents would
give me probably five dollars, possibly ten, but I think
five and we would go buy a ticket, then play
video games for a quarter each, and then watch Terminator two,
Patriot Games or whatever movie we went and saw back then,
and then call my parents collect from a one eight
hundred on I would you know, and I'd go movie's
(29:45):
over and hang up so they didn't have to accept
the call. I mean, it's crazy that, before the internet, smartphones,
how just clever we all were. We were all so
good at figuring out problems. And then I would go
sit in the Burger king that was next door to
it and eat a Whopper Junior and that would be
What a night the by the young al French fries.
(30:10):
What a night That's romance, Man.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
That is romance. Are you kidding me? I'm back to it.
I'm back to it now that I'm not drinking. That
sounds like a perfect night out. Food after a movie,
yum yum.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Those late Yeah, we need to get more of those
late screening movie theaters. I'm sure there's one in the
Valley and cow and near La. But just to go
and do a five dollars movie six months after the fact,
I would love that.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
It is so difficult to wrap my head around this.
Would you rather, oh, because because of the fact that,
like I'm assuming we're experiencing it as as as a child,
as the age appropriate child, we were okay, but do
we have because because if that's the case, then I
would just do that because you know, it's not really me.
(31:01):
I don't have all of the thoughts that I haven't
experienced anything else yet. But if it's me in the
body of a child, I mean, that's even better.
Speaker 2 (31:14):
You could run that place. That's what I'm saying, even better.
I would definitely go back for three years. My answer
is one, we love teachers on this show. My mom
was a teacher. We'd love teachers. There's no way I
want to teach for five years middle school kids. Just no.
Speaker 1 (31:33):
If it was if it was first graders, kindergarten, if
it was kindergarteners, I would do five.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Years of kindergarten. Piece of cake.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
They are delightful.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
White, Take them on the playground, teach them some colors,
some simple books, read the gingerbread Man, watch their wigs
get blown back.
Speaker 1 (31:55):
I'm not saying kindergarten teachers have it easy by any
stretch of the imagine. I'm just saying I think six
seventh and eighth is a specific challenge. And then also, yeah,
I'm going back and I'm changing kids lives.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1 (32:10):
I am being the magical elf child that knows everything
and can help them out in every situation.
Speaker 2 (32:18):
Yeah, I agreed. I think it would be such an
opportunity when all those other kids think it's the end
of the world, all the problems, all the issues, all
the embarrassments and humiliations and frustrations and fears, and you
could be the zen guru that goes, hey, you're gonna
be okay. Here's all the great things about you. You're
so talented in these ways. You just get through this,
(32:40):
and in two years you're gonna be in high school.
You probably want to be around these kids like you
could basically be some sort of mentor therapist, life coach,
spiritual advisor and they won't even know. They'll just be like, oh,
little Kurt's so strange, Little Scottie, he just nails every test. Also,
I wouldn't when I watch you smarter than the fifth
(33:00):
grader on airplanes, I get every question wrong. I'm like, really, oh,
I'm an idiot.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Oh I like that, because then you wouldn't even have
to worry about it because also you don't have to
worry about the tests, you don't have to worry about
the homework. You can fail out. It's fine. It's fine
because it's not. This sort of good is such a
hard hypothetical.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
I know, it's a sweet one. I mean, fourteen years
Katie year, congratulations to congratulations for teaching the future. We
hope the future is bright for these lovely children. I'm
going three years back thinking if if I mean, if
it's meet you and me now, if we're middle aged
guys in there.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Yeah, hilarious, very funny, very funny. Also, but the reason
I think we're mainly not saying that we would do
the teaching is because we have no idea how, and
so the difficulty level for us would be off the charts.
We would be out of our depths, would be incredibly difficult. Oh,
(34:02):
whereas I know how to be a child, do I
know how to be the wisest child in the world?
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Yes? I do, of course you do. That would be
our goal to go back and be three years of
having the wisest child in the history of the classroom,
also helping the teacher out, you know, telling the teacher.
You could tell them the teacher out a rough night,
you know, like yeah, on the video days when they're
popping a DVD in and you're watching a movie.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, you come up, you give them an apple. You say, hey,
why don't you take that and have a n app?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I got it for it. Got you get an ice
cold perier out of your bag, You put it on
the edge of your desk. You just slide to Adville.
You go. We all been there, we all been there. Worry.
I'm just gonna run everybody through the lesson you taught yesterday.
Just get a little shut out. You work too hard.
They don't pay you enough. Poco de nio. There's a
(34:49):
really sweet one I saw here. This is more of
a hypothetical I believe, okay, hypothetically from Ann. Thank you
for saying this, and you can always send your stuff
to us on the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com
or the Bananas Podcast on Instagram. Also, we have a
live show in Phoenix after this Kurt on March twenty ninth,
(35:10):
So if you haven't got your tickets to come hang
out with the Banana Boys, we'd love to see. It's
a three pm show and we got a little wiggle
time after we take photos with everybody, got some new
stickers to sell. We got all kinds of fun stuff.
Come on now, and I think it's fute wants to
know describe the ideal slice of pie with ice cream
(35:34):
in vivid detail.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Oh, okay, your dream.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Slice of pie, Kurtie b in vivid detail.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Wow, what are you going for? Okay, type of pie.
Speaker 2 (35:52):
I'm going to lose seventy percent of the audience with this. Okay,
key lime.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Pie, That's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2 (36:01):
I love from the Keys, like from Almarada, from Marathon Key, Like,
I want a real key.
Speaker 1 (36:08):
Real key lime pie made up homemade, homemade Graham cracker crust.
Speaker 2 (36:15):
Yeah. Then I think the ice cream to go with it.
Speaker 1 (36:21):
So you're going ice cream. You're not going.
Speaker 2 (36:23):
Cool cream on there for sure? Okay?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
What type?
Speaker 2 (36:26):
What type? Cool whip or like ready whipper. I'm thinking
it's got to be homemade. I think it's got to
me a whip.
Speaker 1 (36:33):
Scratch okay, scratch whipped cream.
Speaker 2 (36:36):
I love it all right, And then I think I'll
go with mmm, maybe just a little bit of Graham
cracker vanilla ice cream, just sort of like a cookies
and cream, but with a gram cracker instead of an
Oreo medium sized scoop. I don't need it to be huge.
(36:59):
It's no.
Speaker 1 (37:00):
On the side.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I'm enjoying the pie.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Ala mode.
Speaker 2 (37:02):
It's a mode.
Speaker 1 (37:03):
It's over to the right. We got our pie. We
have our whipped cream on top. I'm talking, I would say,
And I don't know if this place exists anymore, but
there was a key Lime pie factory in Red Hook, Brooklyn.
Do you remember that?
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Yes, Steve's, Steve's.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
That was one of the best key I ever had.
It was a good key lime pie.
Speaker 2 (37:28):
Ride my bike out there and get the little one
that was as big as like a coaster.
Speaker 1 (37:32):
It was like, Yes, it was a delight. That So
the big version of that one slice of that. So
it's a big pie, normal sized pie. That slice. Yeah,
I'm going with the same ice cream.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
You know what.
Speaker 1 (37:44):
Actually, I'm gonna I'm gonna. I'm gonna go on on
a limb here.
Speaker 2 (37:54):
Okay, we already lost seventy of our audience who are
screaming all.
Speaker 1 (38:00):
At different type of.
Speaker 2 (38:02):
Chocolate cream pie, pecan pie.
Speaker 1 (38:07):
No, do you think we could make a ice cream
that had like a tagine thing going on in a
little spicy. So I'm talking to like a vanilla with
a tagine kind of thing. Maybe even tagine is just
sprinkled on the top of it, but it's a little
(38:28):
bit spicy to balance that sweet.
Speaker 2 (38:32):
Damn. Of course you can. I mean we can, of course.
In this world, anything's pod. We're flying around nauseous. You know,
we're showing up naked to the keys demanding pie. But
that makes me think, now I want to roll my
vanilla ice cream, homemade villain ice cream in Graham crackers
and fry it and do a fried ice cream next
(38:56):
to Oh wow, my fresh key Linehi served in a
giant fake clamshell on the back of a party boat
in the shade. You're there, you're eating yours right next
to me, and we're just watching that sunset.
Speaker 1 (39:11):
Oh, I love it, Just waiting for that for the
green pop, Just waiting for that green green pop.
Speaker 2 (39:18):
Yeah, what the hell is it called the green flash?
The green flash? Waiting for the green flash, just eating
it with a just a beautiful bamboo spoon.
Speaker 1 (39:30):
H it's gotta be a bad boost.
Speaker 2 (39:35):
Just waving to dolphins and manatees, that would be. And
that's our dream, pies dream if we ever do that
Key West show that we've talked about doing, we are
going to eat an entire key Line pie during the show.
Speaker 1 (39:53):
Don't you know a delight? Well, that's been it. That's
another bonus ode.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Folks, Thanks Bananimals. No matter where you are in the world,
be silly this week. Take care of yourself, take care
of your friends, and just try to have a little
extra fun on behalf of the Banana Boys. Bananas by
Nan Yang. Bananas is an exactly right media production. Our
(40:27):
producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas theme
song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 1 (40:32):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (40:36):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart
Speaker 1 (40:40):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot intern.