October 21, 2025 • 45 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk about a ding dong ditcher that turned out to be a slug, Splash the rescue otter and scandal rocks the world of stone skimming championships!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scotty, Do you want to start?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, yes I do, because I am pumped and ready
to spread the gospel of joy. Doorbell prankster that tormented
German resident apartments turns out to be a slug ding dong.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
It's a new episode of Bananas. Would you?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's not your mind?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Josillion pieces? Would you? Banana Bana Banana ba Banana Ba. Guys, gals,
non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm Kirk Brown Older.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm Banana Boy number two, Scotty alandas thank you for
listening to the joyous, silliest little podcast there ever was.
It's good fun because we're the good fun boys. When
you're having fun, you're feeling good.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We refuse to be cowed by the darkness of the time.
We refuse to not be the dumbest and the silliest
we possibly can, because that is the only thing left
to us, That is the only power we have, is
that we can continue to be silly.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And we're not going to stop so they can kiss
our whole butts. I'm in an especially great mode because
last night I went to UCB, the old UC Beyond
Franklin Upright Systems Brigade the crackers barrel, the uncle crackers barrel.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
That's what it was, a chance where nobody knows that.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yep, it's really true. And it was delicious. And my
friend was like, Hey, they're doing sort of a drive
run of the board game Taboo, which is very fun game,
and they're doing a live performance where it was four
improvisers versus four improvisers with a host. They were going
to play live Taboo. They're just kind of workshopping it,
(02:03):
maybe as a touring thing, maybe as a TV show.
So I was like sure. So I brought a few
friends and we sit there and it's fun. The improvisers
are young. They were pretty good. They were like funny
enough and competitive enough where it was really interesting. And
at one point, after each round if somebody didn't guess one,
if a team didn't guess one, the host returned the
(02:24):
audience he goes, what were do you think? They were
trying to get you to guess? And for those who
don't know Taboo, the idea is you get a card.
It has a word on the top, like rabbit, and
then we'll have five words underneath that you're not allowed
to say to try to get people to guess rabbit,
so it might say bunny carre it, tortoise. You know,
(02:45):
it might have just things you can't say cottontail. And
so I knew one that they didn't guess. So I
said fraud and that was correct. And the host goes, great,
what's your name? And I go It's Scotty and he goes,
come on up. You're a new contestant. You're joining. I
think they're called Team Taboo Boo, Team Taboo Boo. So
(03:06):
I joined, and I didn't want to go up. I
actually was doing the like throat cut, I don't want
to be on stage. And then they were like, come
on up, and then everybody give me a round of
a plus K.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That is your nightmare. Yeah, And so I said, other
than the fact that you're incredible at Banana's live.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Events, well, I know what I'm doing. I'm reading news stories,
I'm talking to you. Those are two things I know
how to do. So I go up and sit and
then they're like and you're up. So I don't even
meet my team. I just sit down. I stand back
up to hear me the carts. Kurt I dominated so hard.
Not only not only did I get by far the
(03:45):
most right bye by far, like the average were probably
three per round. I got seven, but I basically they
gave me the eighth one at the wire. But then
I just had to stay on the team and we
never got less than in like five or six and
the rest of the time. And they started calling the
team Team Scotty like. The host was like, you guys
(04:06):
are not called the boy boys or whatever they were called.
They were like, you're now Team Scotti. The host is like,
do you play this all the time? I said, I
have played this one time in the last twenty years,
like I barely remember the rules. So we win. The
guys team win. People are shaking my hands. The host
(04:28):
thanks me. Then the daughter of the man who created
the game was there and her name's Hillary. She comes
up to me and she goes, you are so good
at this game. Do you want a box like a
taboo board game? And I said, of course I do cheers.
You probably already have one, right, I go, no, I
don't have one. She goes, you seriously don't have one
(04:49):
of these at your house already. I go, I don't
have taboo. I've played taboo once in my adult life.
And she's like, are you shitting me. So then I
turn that enough was funny. So she gives me a taboo,
So now I have taboo in my house. Next taboos,
she had like twenty of them. She was going to
give him to the winners, but then I smoked everybody.
(05:10):
I'm telling you they were I believe it. It was
the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
So your genius levels, Gotti.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
No, I'm uh. I am very dumb, but I'm very
good at looking at a word and coming up with
different words for that word, which is all you have
to be good at. If car pops up, I'm like,
it is an auto, it is a vehicle, and then.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You know it has a break and a gas pedal.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I had. Convertible was one of mine, and I said,
and car. You couldn't say top down, so I just
said vehicle without ceiling. And this guy goes convertible and
got it in two seconds. They couldn't get gazebo, which
is one that I was.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Like, Zebra's tough.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It was tough, tough. What do you say?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
What do you say in a park?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I said, structure, backyard, sit in it. White people have
them screened in. It's kind of like a hexagon or oxagon,
and I'm looking at it and they were like shlu wigwam.
One guy said, igloo gotta laugh, which is good. So
then I look and I turned with my taboo box.
(06:14):
After meeting Hillary Hillary Taboo, I don't know what her.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Last name is.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And who was standing there ready to shake my hand
and congratulate me, Kurt, Oh boy, you couldn't guess this. Honestly,
you don't probably even know great guess. Nick Lache and
Vanessa Lice. I know Nick so from Love is Blind,
but he was in ninety eight degrees a likable guy?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah is he?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Are?
Speaker 1 (06:40):
They the producers of the show.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So they have a Netflix deal. I don't think they're
attached or anything. I think they were watching it because
they host shows together, so I think there's a potential
that they would path for it. So I met Nick
and Vanessa Lache couldn't have been nicer. They knew my
name because they were saying Scott, Team Scott he so
many times. And he was like, how are you this
(07:03):
good at this game? And I was like, I don't know,
but I'm not good at any other board games. I
don't even enjoy board games. And they I'm telling you,
they were so sweet. He's a handsome time.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Can you tell everybody that you are a showrunner? And no, no,
God damn it, So then run that show.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Well that's I think. So. Our good friend Molly was there,
and I think somebody else who was the host saw
me outside. I went to a bar next door, came by,
shook my hand and was like, what's up? And he
used to host all these game shows or are produce
all these game shows? And he's like, what's your deal?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Say his name?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
His name is Daniel, but I don't want to say
who he used to work for because that person's considered
a monster in the industry. Now okay, But I was like,
I have some ideas for some segments. I can write him.
I can get him through Molly to you. And he's like,
please do He's like, do you do this? I was like, yes,
I've done game shows. I've done many game shows. I've
done Bunk. How about that? I did Bunk with Kurt
(08:01):
Brown older, so kiss my ass. But anyways, I have
fresh taboo. Now I'm need cffs with the laches. It's
called pointless and shook hands with the laches. Couldn't have
been sweeter people. Man, if every time I went to
a live comedy show I came home with a plastic
wrap board game.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I think you would be making most comedy shows a
lot better.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Much better. Maybe at Bananas Lives after Banana Fest, we
should occasionally hand out longest Banana gets a wrapped board
game that I buy at CBS the day before.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh, that's a fantastic idea.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You want to hear the story?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Are you kidding me? I'm burning up inside. Dude.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Mark sent this in aka goy genius doorbell prankster that
tormented German residents a German residence apartment turned out to
be a slug The Guardian, written by Kate Connolly in Berlin.
She goes feet on the ground.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, to meet this slug m.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
And it took a short time to get there. Inhabitants
of an apartment block in Bavaria beautiful. I love Bavaria.
Can't wait to go back. Actually, you and I should
go to Bavaria when your schedule freeze up. That would
be a fun dude trip to Bavaria. We'll get flula
(09:28):
he can translate for us.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh god, that'd be amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
He'd do it. Apartment block in Bavaria, Southern Germany, who
called police to investigate relentless buzzing of their doorbells late
at night and were surprised. That's expecting a teenage culprit.
When they were surprised it was not, in fact a
teenage prankster, they had suspected it was a slug. The
(09:51):
slug had been sliding up and down the bell plate.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Oh wow, so it wasn't even I always assumed it
was inside the wires. It was not. It was on
the outside, just going.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Up and down, just like a wet finger, just ringing
that bell repeatedly.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So funny.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
The slug had been sliding up and down the bell play,
creating havoc in the building and tearing angry residents out
of their beds long after midnight when they could not
sleep for the noise. Because of the noise, At first,
they had suspected the so called clinging strike klingle strike,
which is the bell prank.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh, that's the klingle strike.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
That's a good one to put your comedy mind. The
klingle strike a sometimes popular pastime among German youths, ding
dong ditch, knock a door or knockdown ginger as it
is referred to an English or Englyn probably ding dong
ditch here people would say that here it typically involves
(10:54):
children or youths ringing a doorbell and running away before
they get caught. I've done it many times. But when
the ringing continued after the arrival of two police officers,
despite the fact that nobody's standing at the door and
a motion detector had failed to activate, a closer look
at the metal plate revealed the presence of a slug
or and that is called a knocked.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Shki, knocked schnecky night a night schlug a night. They
just a knock schnecky in German literally naked snail, naked
knocked schnecky.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Okay, good word.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
So there was literally a naked snail.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Snail. That is so funny that a slug is called
a naked snail.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's really accurate.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I mean accurate that that is that I think that
that really does sum up the the personality of.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
The German Germans.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
It's very very very efficient as well.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's and also a little sexual.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, the naked a little kinky.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
This is a naked snail? Is this slug?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
It's just a snail wants to be free.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It's just just just bone to sway the snug sneaking.
It's very naked snail. And then it'd be funnier if
they called snails dressed slugs.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
They probably don't. We'd gone to bed. We don't tend
to answer the door after ten pm.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Who does.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Crazy thing to say? So? And the bell ringing, I.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Don't think I answered the door after eight pm. Yeah,
but I'm just like, no, I'm not expecting anyone, well
to anybody at my door.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
These days, we all have fifteen cameras pointing at my house.
I can see every inch of my yard. I mean,
it is like mission impossible out there.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I do not have any I have one camera that
doesn't work very well.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Well as you move into your new place, I bet
correct that error. So when the bell rang, I tried
to ignore it. I thought it might be the kids
from the abandoned house over the road. Okay, great detail.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
From the abandoned house over the road. Said less Also,
what does over the road mean? Does that mean across
the street?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I think it does, Lisa.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
That's a great way to say across the street.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Lisa, who said this is a thirty year old, which
we didn't need to know. She's a shop sales assistant
and she told the taboid builds. But then my sister
in law, who lives upstairs called and asked whether our
bell was ringing, and hers wouldn't stop. It kept ringing
even as we telephoned, and despite the fact that no
one could be seen at the door, we became very uneasy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, of course, it seemed like this is ghost shit.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, this is ghost shit. That's when we decided to
call ze police. Together the residents and police discovered a
slug traversing the door entry panel. You could even see
the slime trail that it had made as it crawled
over all the censors Lisa, who's thirty years old, who's
a shop assist until the taploy build.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So they're electronic. They're like very sensitive electronic ones I see.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
In a statement, a police spokesman for Schweibach Bavaria said
the animal had been brought.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Had been Oh man, I love having a Shriebach when
I go to Texas.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's such a good I love it. It is so good.
Said The animal had been brought down to size, taught
a lesson about its territory boundaries and then firmly placed
on a nearby stretch of grass.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You think it's not coming I think it's not coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
It's liking it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It likes going over those things. It's coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Dude, my my buddy. Do you do.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
You have a door ditch?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yes, so many times, and I don't. I don't even
remember enjoying it. I don't remember any joy to it.
We egged a lot of houses. If anything come my way,
if I get door ditch, if I get my car egged.
I had a car hit a couple of times bags
over the years. I just crack up laughing, because that
(15:07):
is karma coming back to get me in a very
real way. I never destroyed property, you know. I never
stole anything crazy from anybody. But yeah, I ranked some
doorbells and ran away.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah I don't. I think I just I did it once.
I never ranked doorbells, but we like, I think we
toilet papered houses once. And it's just like it was
just so easy to get in trouble, like it would you.
I would just get caught like immediately is it's like did.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You do that? What? No?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, then why are you out here right?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Now, yes, nice. On a Halloween, I was with some
friends and they said, go ring that doorbell and run away,
because we would do it to houses that wouldn't give
out candy and so like, if you didn't have any
decor and your lights were off, we would ding dong
ditch you. And I think.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That's I think that's justice.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, it's probably eleven or twelve or so walking around.
I don't even think we had costumes on at this point.
And I go up to ding dong ditch and my
friends to prank me through an egg. So I ring
the doorbell and I look in the little windows alongside
the door, see an old man's face staring out at
me like angry, and then an egg hits the glass,
(16:18):
not directly over his face, but right there. And then
I run and he opens the door screaming. But yes,
my friend sort of double tapped me. I ding dong ditched,
and they egged and I was face to face with
father time and I aged one hundred years that moment.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Oh my god, scary, terrifying, scary.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, but he must have saw me come in or
he just hates those kids, and I just ding dong clank.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And his story and his story is that he is
the nicest man in the entire universe. He just doesn't
have enough money for candy this year.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Thankfully for my conscience, he's long passed away.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Soon after after that, actually died trying to get on
a get on a ladder to clean off some egg,
fell off and passed away that evening.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
He has an extreme allergy to children and and antis
raw eggs. Man, so good. Well, it was a slug.
Turns out it was just a slug all along. Turns
out it was a naked snail.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I'm going to finish this. I started this last episode
and I didn't realize I never read it. This was
meat Splash, the world's first search and rescue otter.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Hell yeah, I want to hello Splash.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
This is an I fl science by the way, I
just want you to know what's going on on my
end of this call. School is just let out.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh I see this.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
This library is across the street from the middle school,
one of the two middle schools in this town. Yeah,
and and it's a it's a delight in the fact
that the moment school that's out, the entire library fills
with like one hundred middle aged middle school children, children's, children's,
middle school age children. And it's great. But also I
(18:11):
am in a glass cube.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, they're all looking at you. Hey, you've been on
TV a lot of times. They might know you. They're like,
that's the guy from New Girl. That's the guy from
every show.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
All these all these middle school aged kids are like, yeah,
it's the guy from New Girl. I'm always watching New
Girl late at night.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
You'd be surprised. Oh, come on, we don't know what
they have on their phone. These kids, they're living in
their own worlds.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Man, they're watching roadblocks and episodes of New Girl from
two thousand and five.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I know that guy.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
This was written by Holly Large. Also it just says edited,
Oh wait, no, sorry. It was written by Maddie Chapman. Maddie,
thank you. You're just in the business. Little circle picture,
big old smile. As we've said before, we like that.
Keep smiling, Keep smiling, Mattie. And it was edited by
Holly Large. I don't I've never seen an editing concert
(19:09):
like a byline at the top of a story.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I've never met. Somebody's last name is Large. That's a
Holly is a good way to go with that name, though, Yes,
it's a night. It's a sweet name. It can't really
make fun of Holly.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Large, and it sounds all like one word, Holly large.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, but you don't want to name your daughter gay.
You don't want to be gay large, is the editor
at the place, because then that kid will not survive
your library experience.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Exactly, this is splash. I want to be search and
rescue superstar, training to hunt for missing people in Florida's
murky waters. Oh did we mention he's a fucking otter?
What it does not say fucking the intrepid mustelid? What
did you know that otters are mustelids?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Never heard that word my whole entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
M U st E l I D put the on
the mustard. It's a mustelid is the latest edition of
the team at Peace River Canine Search and Rescue. They've
trusually used dogs to track the scent of missing people,
but when investigations spill underwater, a canine's capabilities are limited.
The saying was that the investigation ends at the water's edge.
(20:19):
Mike Hadzele at Peace River Canine Search and Rescue told
Tampa local outlet WTSP, I thought, why can't we train
an honor to do this kind of work. You know what,
this guy, Mike Hadzel is thinking out its side of
the box, and I love this guy.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, I like it too.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
My first thought is definitely not why can't we train
an otter to do this kind of work? I mean
my dreams, Yeah, that's my dreams. But I didn't think
it was possible. Having posted online about his out there
approach to underwater search and rescue, Hadzell was contacted by
an Arizona zoo with an ideal candidate, an Asian small
(20:55):
clawed otter called Splash great name. For a little over
a year, Hadzel has been training Splash in his backyard,
filling three kiddie pools with water as well as ominously
the scent of human remains. Splash is trained to locate
and identify the odor of human remains, so his job
is to find the human victim underwater in the low
(21:15):
visibility conditions that we can't see them. Hazel told WTSP,
explaining that the humans emit over five hundred volatile organic
compounds unique to our species that can be used to
locate us. By the way, my niece is actually a
trained forensic scientist and her job. Her job is to
(21:40):
identify what makes human remains smell because we don't actually know,
like that's why we use animals to do it instead
of using a robot, because we don't actually know what
the combination of the specific chemicals are the molecules are,
because if once you do, you can just have a
robot identify those molecules, but we don't actually know it.
(22:03):
So she works with decomposing bodies to identify the exact
specific chemical signature of like this is a hour long
dead body, this is a two hour long dead body,
This is a three hour long dead body.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
That sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That is? And we have the author, the amazing author,
Mary roach On, and she has a whole book about yeah,
dead bodies and it is I read it before she
was on because when she came on she was doing
fuzz which are animal crimes and great, the best we
got to have her back on because Mary roach is
so funny. Which niece is this is this? Ariel? Is
(22:41):
that a name of Do you have a niece named Ariel? No?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
These are my nieces on my mom's side. Oh cool,
Ariel and Fantasia and Fantasia is the one who is
the forensic scientist.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I met her at the Dodgers game, both of us.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yes, you met both of them. They are fancas lovely.
They are both fantastic human beings. Really, I am so
proud of them, and I'm hoping to see them more
than I'm on the East coast.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Hell, yeah, that's awesome. That's a cool and insane gig. Like,
that's a fascinating thing to study. Yeah, that book Stiff
and Stiff was so fascinating. If you guys, go back
and listen to that episode. If you're new to Bananas,
go listen to Mary Roach episode. She's so great.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
She's wonderful. I have a specific memory of Mary Roach
telling us that the that human orgasms are completely non
physical event or something.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Do you remember, I do.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
How do we even get to that topic? I don't
even know. They're completely mental, Like there are multiple people
who orgasm just by like thinking of something.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Damn, we must have done a story about that. That
makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Maybe she was just like reassuring us, oh no, that's
one hundred percent true.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Well sure, I mean we got a lot of stories
for a while, and we don't get him anymore about
mostly British women marrying or having lovers that are ghosts, right,
and having great sexual lovers with ghosts and then often
getting dumped by those ghosts. One was a pirate ghost
a ghost.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
There was also a I think this was a gentleman
who was married to an ash tray. Great, do you
remember that?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Sure, we've had the guys married. No, we had a
bodybuilder guy that was like he just kept marrying different things.
Like they're always at the UK and I don't know why.
I don't know. It's a small island.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I guess I don't really know why it gets the
news here.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
It is.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Splash is trained to locate and identify the odor of
human remains. I see, we see all these bubbles coming out,
and he's sucking some of those bubbles back in and
he's tasting them. Wow. The odor attaches itself to the
bubbles and then he tasted tastes it when it comes
back into his mouth. And so that's how he does it.
When he finds something, he comes back and he grabs
(25:07):
my mask.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Awe.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
His good work is then rewarded with a treat of salmon.
Splash by the rest of the rescue team. So he's
eaten salmon, one of the smelliest fishes, and then still
can do this. Splash is amazing. Splash and the rest
of the rescue team have also branched out from backyard
pools to Florida water, where is the curious carnivor is
tethered to a line to keep him safe, make sure
(25:29):
he doesn't swim off, and he's tracked by his teammates
and sonar. The biggest threat both he and his human
counterparts face is from alligators. Well Jesus. So far in
his short career, Splash has had three successful fines in
credible popular science, garnering investments. In garnering interests from all
over the country, including from the FBI and Florida Department
(25:50):
of Law Enforcement. He's working his way up the food chain.
Hats to Laught. In his downtime, Splash likes to wrestle,
pestering the cats and dogs of Peace River Canine Search
and Rescue. At the end of the day, a long
hard day, Otter puts his paws up and has a
well deserved rest in bed with Hatzel. He sleeps with them.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Man, what wow?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Is that normal for an honor to do?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's they're not going to go back going to that anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Just leaving that there.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
It seems like an utofficial way to have an employee.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Seems like a part one of a part two story.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
To me, there's bigger story is search and rescue. Boss
sleeps with his honor.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, they Holly Large left that in because she was like, Uh,
this could lead somewhere one day. There might be another
corpse in the near future and we're gonna need splash
and fish this guy out. Well, damn, that's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Tease us into some shoutouts breath.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh sure, Joey D sent this in. Thanks Joey D.
Cheating scandal rock the World Stone Skimming Championships.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I was gonna do this one too, baby. I'm happy
you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
And I think I should have read it like this
cheating scandal rocks the World Stone Skimming Championships. That's better.
Thumbs ups. Here we go. I just have a couple.
Vianka Sanchez, which is the coolest name. I wish my
name was Vianka Sanchez.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Vianca, not Bianca.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Vianca with a V.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
That is the coolest name.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, wants to give the biggest thumbs up to her
little pups, Vennie and the er staff at the Veterinary
Referral Center of Central Organs. Vennie has I m h
A and spent six days in the ICU. I think
that is an immune system thing. I didn't look it up.
My apologies. He had three blood transfusions, and despite all odds,
(27:51):
Vennie is making a full recovery and living a normal life.
She's Oh, Venny's a girl. Sorry, she got three blood
transfusions and she's the light of Vianka's life. Thumbs up
to Vianka and Svenny.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Oh hell yeah, thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And to all the all the vet vet texts. Yeah,
all the vets, vet texts, everybody that loves animals and
takes care of them. Thumbs up to you. Let's just
dedicate this sill episode of veterinarians. Why not?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Oh hell yeah to vets and vet texts.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
We got it. They love it. We love them.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Great job, guys, stressful job, so fun to say.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Vet tech vet tech.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, it's a good name.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
M I don't own any scrubs. You and I should
get some yellow scrubs for live shows.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I don't know why we don't either.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
They're cheap.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, of course they're comfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Get out there, and some yellow scrubs and some yellow crocs.
I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I mean we should that should maybe be our uniform
for Bananas Fest. Yellow crocs, yellow scrubs and stethoscopes.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Oh my god, doctor Banana's reporting to duty. I like it.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
The doctor in bananas is here.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
If you wear that at the live show Bananas Fest.
This is going to come out after Banana's Fest. So
let's just see if you can pull it off. You
coming out as a banana surgeon. Kurt people, I love it, dude.
All right, well we'll look it up. Carly wants the
thumbs up this day one Bananamal Haley Haley recently competed
in a weightlifting competition in Fort Worth and Haley Kurt
(29:24):
won bronze in her weight class. There is a video
you can go check it out on her Instagram. Curty B.
Haley is fucking strong. I mean she would rip you
me in half easily. I think that's fantastic. And Carly
says Haley is both strong physically and mentally, and she
is so proud of her of achieving this weightlifting goal.
(29:48):
That's that's a nice one.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
That's huge. Thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And speaking of vets, but the other kind. Probably two
months ago I said, hey, if your active duty military
or a VET from military, let us know Kurt. Hundreds,
I mean literally hundreds, and it's awesome. Active and vets,
including one Travis, who is a veterinarian in the military,
(30:13):
so he's a VET VET. Pretty good.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Here's Nicole. Nicole wants to double thumbs up her brother
and sister, who will remain nameless. Nicole's brother made his
promotion to Tech Sergeant E seven, and her sister was
promoted to Master Sergeant E eight and is now the
flight chief at her job. Nicole says, as someone who
grew up watching them do some truly stupid shit, I'm
not sure how either of them are still alive or
(30:38):
who decided to put them in charge, but I couldn't
be more proud of them. Thumbs up, great job, and
thumbs up to all of our military ban animals, active
and retired. Good for you. Thumbs ups. Joey d sent
this in cheating scandal rocks the World Stone Skimming Championships.
This was in BBC News, written by Benjamin the stone
(31:02):
skimmer Russell. Yeah, best in the biz. So I think
we caught skipping here in the States. But that's what
it is, stone skipping, skipping rocks. Yep. The World Stone
Skimming Championships have been rocked by a cheating scandal.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
After several competitive imagine.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I mean it must have people must have been vomiting
on themselves, they were so distraught.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
AT's just I mean, how much can the prize money
be at the World Stone Skipping competition? What is it
like a handkerchief? Is that? Like the main is that
the first cash prize?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Do you get a cameo from Dwayne Johnson? That would
be worth it? That'd be worth cheating.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
You get a cameo from Dane Matthews. Hey, I know
you're looking for the actual Dave Matthews. This is Dane Matthews.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
I'm Chief of Digital.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Technology, Dane Matthews.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's our go to escape name. When we need a
fake name for an idiot in one of our stories,
it's gonna be Dane Matthews.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I like that he's the artificial intelligence officer at Taco
Bell And that actually makes sense now that I think
about it, Like it's Baja blasts and Dane Matthews. I'm
referencing another episode, folks.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
But the Baja Blast zero, like the sugar free calorie
free one, is delicious and as a mixer hard to beat.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Really, what's it taste like?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I have no idea how to describe a kurt? So it's.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
How close is it to a mountain dew? A regular mountain?
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Pretty far? It's wow?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Okay? Is it like more pineapplely or like?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
It's definitely more tropical, more tropical. It's definitely a greener
blue or color.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
It's a green blue color.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Always would have thought of Baja last was like more
of an orange color.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Sadly, no, maybe they have a new They do have
different varieties.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
But you can only get that at Taco Bell right, thank.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You, ding.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Sponsored in any way, shape or by.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
The four Men'll have a five full fucking mid.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Of conversation.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Live More Live Moss, fourth meal, being Mouth, Dane Matthews Band,
Diarrhea incident, Chicago Bridge, Kinsey Bridge, the World Stone Skimming Championships.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I've been rocking it was a stone skimming.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Championship and cameo you bakeoffscooed this season are watching baking show.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
No, I've never watched a great British bakeoff is a
fucking awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Dude, It's the best go back six seasons. Uh. And
but the combination now of Noel and Allison. There's four hosts,
but Noel now center the sort of color commentary, Prue
and Paul Hollywood, who is piercing beautiful blue eyes. He
they are the play by play, they're the judges. But
they added this woman, Allison, who's like an actress and
(34:14):
just an all around host. Great gal, and the two
of them together are so charming and lovable that it
elevated the show that was already great to even more fun.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I'm looking forward to great season watching something at some point.
I currently have about thirty seven minutes of TV watching
time a week, and I'm trying to make it through
one episode of Task.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I got through Task. They have a great They have
the Pennsylvania accent. Oh yeah, come over here, put down
your fast your life.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So much like Baltimore. Man.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Dude, it brings me back to my Balmer rates. More
than two two hundred people from twenty seven countries attended
this year's event on the tiny island of Easdale off
the west coast of Scotland. I would like to.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Go to a an island to do this.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
I know, and that's the part that appeals to me, like,
I do want to go see this one because Scotland's
so beautiful, it's crazy. Yeah, I've never been to the
tiny island of Easdale. And when you get there, I
bet sitting on a folding chair and watching a skimming
championship would be very fun.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I honestly would imagine getting higher than I've ever gotten
in my entire life and watching And I'm not one
to get high, no, but watching a stone skipping competition,
I do feel like, well, that's the perfect opportunity.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
To the good people. The organizer who is doctor Kyle Matthews.
And I'm not kidding, I don't know you Jesus, I'm
not kidding.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Hugh's family they're everywhere, has gotten everywhere.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
They have their tentacles in every pie around the planet.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
You you know, everybody was like, we love Dave Matthews,
but he's a NEPO baby. Matthews run everything from stone
skipping competitions to the technology at Taco Bell, and Dave
Matthews wouldn't be who he is these family connections.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Let alone the violin player that white kids and berks
can't get enough of a black eye playing a fiddle.
It is like that guy is incredible. But when I
was young, I'm like, you, guys, calm down, He's a
fiddle player. It's fine. Their drummer's good though. So anyways,
(36:25):
this is a shout out from the Banana Boys to
organizer doctor Kyle Matthews. If you need two Americans to
come to your island.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Next year and do commentary.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
And do commentary, will live stream it on YouTube and
our Patreon, and we will. We will bring in so
many eyeballs you won't even know what to do. We
will be there. Kurt, my co host, the Big Banana,
will be the highest he's ever been in his life.
Scotty Banana Boy number two.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Actually, if we're performing, I won't be high.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I will be drunk on vodka Baja Blast Zero's that
I'm sure I'm gonna have to break.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I will continually ask what does it taste like it?
Scotty will say I cannot explain it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
And nobody on earth can. And we will watch all
of your cheating stone skimmers and give them just thumbs up.
For days. Organizer diar Kyle Matthews. The stone is in
your court. We are ready to travel to the tiny
island of Eastdale. Rules state that stones must come naturally
(37:35):
from island slate. However, some are found to have been
ground into a suspiciously circular shape. And Kurt, you saw
this story. Those were circle stones. Yeah, they were cheating
to help them bounce on the surface of the water.
Organizer doctor Kyle Matthews told BBC News that the offenders
held their hands up and apologized, So they admitted they cheated.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
They he I mean, like, well, that's what That's what
going on it. That's what's happening at stone skipping, you
know what I mean. People are being honest with each other.
They're telling their truths.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
They're grinding stones down into circles, not thinking they'll get
in trouble for it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Did they think that it was legal? Do they think
it was okay?
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Well that's a good question. Entrince choose their own stones,
and judges use a measuring device called the Ring of
Truth to ensure that they're no bigger than three inches
in diameter. Each. Competitors allowed three skims, and the stones
must bounce at least twice on water before sinking. I mean,
come on, that's child's play. Yeah, I can get it
up to twelve. I bet get twelve, no problem.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
But I mean like people who win these things, I
think they get like forty skips exactly.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah, So the rule that it has to go at
least twice, I'm thinking if you and I were doing commentary,
we'd say, bump that up to six. Get some of
these cheaters out of here. We got places to go.
Kurt can't speak, he's so high, and I'm so drunk.
I peed my pants before this thing even started. And
that's a Baja blast.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Oh yeah, that's every time somebody throws you go ba blast.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And I'd make fourteen dollars on Taco Bell's Venmo. Doctor
Matthews also known as the toss Master. No, which but
isn't tossing off Masturbata.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yeah, and he's the toss Master. I mean, I'm starting
to think that maybe stone Skimmers have a bit of
a little sense of humor about this whole thing.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think so too.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Doctor Matthews, who's known as the toss Master, which in
America would be like, I don't know, the sploge Master
or something told Good Morning Scotland that judges heard rumors
and murmurings of some nefarious deeds. There was a little
bit of stone doctoring. He said. They had shaped it
so it was perfectly circular and fitted in our three
inch measurer as a piece it's as it's a piece
(39:54):
of metal. I don't think we can blame it too much.
The problem was we just didn't notice at the time
that they were suspicious circular. Doctor Matthews, the tossmaster, said
lessons had been learned and they would move on to
an even greater event next year where Kurt and I
the Banana Boys can come to Scotland and hosts. Just
(40:14):
don't forget that detail.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
We will be for a moment and I don't know.
Something just occurred outside. Okay, but I'm on the second
floor of this library and it is hundreds of children
screaming at the same time outside. I'm a shocked that
the microphone hasn't picked it up yet.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I haven't heard it an Aplewood Library.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
You are wild on Friday afternoon.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
You're gonna have it at your own office soon, Kurt,
You're gonna have a view.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I'm like I'm weeks away, dude, I'm weeks away.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
It's gonna be so good. You're gonna the only children
screaming are gonna be your children below you, down in
their living room, and you can just go, hey, Laren,
shut them up and throw your shoe at the door.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I cannot wait. It's going to be absolutely fantastic. My god, Scotty,
you're so close. What a delight to do this with you.
It makes me happy every single time we do it.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Me too, buddy, me too. Let me give you the
last details of this event and we'll get on out
of here. Jonathan Jennings went on to win victory. I
do feel like we needed to say his name. Jonathan
Jennings won as the first American winner.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Collection of fantastic names.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Jonathan Jennings won. He's America's first winner. He skimmed his stones.
Oh I see, it's a distance competition. Oh really, a
cumulative distance? How do you measure that? Of one hundred
and seventy seven meters? So that's a football field and
three quarters of another football field for all the Yanks
(41:51):
out there, that's crazy. So yeah, three stones went three
hundred and six hundred feet almost.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
What do they have a drone or something. They must
have markers in the water.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Maybe they have an otter. Maybe splashes over there?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Oh, splash is there?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Snippering splash?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Doctor tossmolster and then tasting them and being like that's
three hundred and seventy two meters.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Thank you. The event was organized first nineteen eighty three
by Albert Baker, who is an island resident. The contest
is staged in a former slate quarry that was flooded
by a tidal wave in eighteen eighty one.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I mean, how amazing. Doesn't stop getting better?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I know this was a great story. Thank you Joey
d and all the bean animals who sent this in
many did. It is run by volunteers. Proceeds support the
Look community projects and charities. Last year it raised fifteen
hundred pounds fifteen thousand pounds. I'm telling you, guys, doctor
Kyle Matthews, we can double that number.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
We can double that number.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Easdale. Our door to shore could be from our chairs
into this quarry of tidal water. Yep. Easdale is the
smallest permanently inhabit island of the inner Hibberties with a oh.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
My god, the Hibberdies. I've never been to the Hibrides.
I've always wanted to know I have.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
They're beautiful with a population of and it says about
sixty people. Wow, so I want to go. It might
be fifty nine, it could be sixty two. It's somewhere
around sixty people are permanently there. Doctor Organizer, Tossmaster, doctor
Kyl Matthews were common dressed as surgeons. We would love
(43:30):
to do commentary and live streaming around the world for you.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Here's my question.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I have an answer.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
What what media genius thank you do they have working
for them? That was like, we got to invent a
cheating scandal. So this gets picked up in the press
and then people know about our event because this is
No one's covering the rock skimming competition unless there's something
(43:56):
like this.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
No. No, We'll sit in a yellow canoe and we'll
do play by play from a yellow canoe, shine.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Water constantly making waves, making it harder for the competitors
to play.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Dude, Yes, yes, yes, that is so good. Well we
hope it works out. The Banana Bays like to travel.
This year busy year, Kurt had nine hundred huge life
swings and changes I've never pitched more or written more
specs in my entire life, but twenty six I bet,
(44:32):
I bet we get back on that on that airplane
and start we get we get in those yellow canoes.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
I'm ready, baby.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
We're going to bring who Let the Dogs Out on
a Bluetooth speaker to the tiniest island and we're going
to judge some skimming with splash the otter. And that's
just how the Banana Boys do it. Thank you everybody,
exactly right. Thank you to the wonderful Kirdiebe who's been
standing in a library surrounded by children so that we
could record some episodes today. That's so he can cuss
and his children don't hear. Is also very wise of him.
(45:03):
I'm banan Boy number two and this has been Banana's podcast.
Oh yeah, that sounded like Dave Matthews. Bus Bananas is
an exactly right media production.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
part time employee.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars.
Scotty, Do you want to start?
Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, yes I do, because I am pumped and ready
to spread the gospel of joy. Doorbell prankster that tormented
German resident apartments turns out to be a slug ding dong.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
It's a new episode of Bananas. Would you?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
It's not your mind?
Speaker 1 (00:32):
Josillion pieces? Would you? Banana Bana Banana ba Banana Ba. Guys, gals,
non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas. I'm Kirk Brown Older.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm Banana Boy number two, Scotty alandas thank you for
listening to the joyous, silliest little podcast there ever was.
It's good fun because we're the good fun boys. When
you're having fun, you're feeling good.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
We refuse to be cowed by the darkness of the time.
We refuse to not be the dumbest and the silliest
we possibly can, because that is the only thing left
to us, That is the only power we have, is
that we can continue to be silly.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
And we're not going to stop so they can kiss
our whole butts. I'm in an especially great mode because
last night I went to UCB, the old UC Beyond
Franklin Upright Systems Brigade the crackers barrel, the uncle crackers barrel.
Speaker 1 (01:39):
That's what it was, a chance where nobody knows that.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
Yep, it's really true. And it was delicious. And my
friend was like, Hey, they're doing sort of a drive
run of the board game Taboo, which is very fun game,
and they're doing a live performance where it was four
improvisers versus four improvisers with a host. They were going
to play live Taboo. They're just kind of workshopping it,
(02:03):
maybe as a touring thing, maybe as a TV show.
So I was like sure. So I brought a few
friends and we sit there and it's fun. The improvisers
are young. They were pretty good. They were like funny
enough and competitive enough where it was really interesting. And
at one point, after each round if somebody didn't guess one,
if a team didn't guess one, the host returned the
(02:24):
audience he goes, what were do you think? They were
trying to get you to guess? And for those who
don't know Taboo, the idea is you get a card.
It has a word on the top, like rabbit, and
then we'll have five words underneath that you're not allowed
to say to try to get people to guess rabbit,
so it might say bunny carre it, tortoise. You know,
(02:45):
it might have just things you can't say cottontail. And
so I knew one that they didn't guess. So I
said fraud and that was correct. And the host goes, great,
what's your name? And I go It's Scotty and he goes,
come on up. You're a new contestant. You're joining. I
think they're called Team Taboo Boo, Team Taboo Boo. So
(03:06):
I joined, and I didn't want to go up. I
actually was doing the like throat cut, I don't want
to be on stage. And then they were like, come
on up, and then everybody give me a round of
a plus K.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That is your nightmare. Yeah, And so I said, other
than the fact that you're incredible at Banana's live.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Events, well, I know what I'm doing. I'm reading news stories,
I'm talking to you. Those are two things I know
how to do. So I go up and sit and
then they're like and you're up. So I don't even
meet my team. I just sit down. I stand back
up to hear me the carts. Kurt I dominated so hard.
Not only not only did I get by far the
(03:45):
most right bye by far, like the average were probably
three per round. I got seven, but I basically they
gave me the eighth one at the wire. But then
I just had to stay on the team and we
never got less than in like five or six and
the rest of the time. And they started calling the
team Team Scotty like. The host was like, you guys
(04:06):
are not called the boy boys or whatever they were called.
They were like, you're now Team Scotti. The host is like,
do you play this all the time? I said, I
have played this one time in the last twenty years,
like I barely remember the rules. So we win. The
guys team win. People are shaking my hands. The host
(04:28):
thanks me. Then the daughter of the man who created
the game was there and her name's Hillary. She comes
up to me and she goes, you are so good
at this game. Do you want a box like a
taboo board game? And I said, of course I do cheers.
You probably already have one, right, I go, no, I
don't have one. She goes, you seriously don't have one
(04:49):
of these at your house already. I go, I don't
have taboo. I've played taboo once in my adult life.
And she's like, are you shitting me. So then I
turn that enough was funny. So she gives me a taboo,
So now I have taboo in my house. Next taboos,
she had like twenty of them. She was going to
give him to the winners, but then I smoked everybody.
(05:10):
I'm telling you they were I believe it. It was
the funniest thing in the world.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
So your genius levels, Gotti.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
No, I'm uh. I am very dumb, but I'm very
good at looking at a word and coming up with
different words for that word, which is all you have
to be good at. If car pops up, I'm like,
it is an auto, it is a vehicle, and then.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
You know it has a break and a gas pedal.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I had. Convertible was one of mine, and I said,
and car. You couldn't say top down, so I just
said vehicle without ceiling. And this guy goes convertible and
got it in two seconds. They couldn't get gazebo, which
is one that I was.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Like, Zebra's tough.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
It was tough, tough. What do you say?
Speaker 1 (05:52):
What do you say in a park?
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I said, structure, backyard, sit in it. White people have
them screened in. It's kind of like a hexagon or oxagon,
and I'm looking at it and they were like shlu wigwam.
One guy said, igloo gotta laugh, which is good. So
then I look and I turned with my taboo box.
(06:14):
After meeting Hillary Hillary Taboo, I don't know what her.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Last name is.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
And who was standing there ready to shake my hand
and congratulate me, Kurt, Oh boy, you couldn't guess this. Honestly,
you don't probably even know great guess. Nick Lache and
Vanessa Lice. I know Nick so from Love is Blind,
but he was in ninety eight degrees a likable guy?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
Yeah is he?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Are?
Speaker 1 (06:40):
They the producers of the show.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
So they have a Netflix deal. I don't think they're
attached or anything. I think they were watching it because
they host shows together, so I think there's a potential
that they would path for it. So I met Nick
and Vanessa Lache couldn't have been nicer. They knew my
name because they were saying Scott, Team Scott he so
many times. And he was like, how are you this
(07:03):
good at this game? And I was like, I don't know,
but I'm not good at any other board games. I
don't even enjoy board games. And they I'm telling you,
they were so sweet. He's a handsome time.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
Can you tell everybody that you are a showrunner? And no, no,
God damn it, So then run that show.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Well that's I think. So. Our good friend Molly was there,
and I think somebody else who was the host saw
me outside. I went to a bar next door, came by,
shook my hand and was like, what's up? And he
used to host all these game shows or are produce
all these game shows? And he's like, what's your deal?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Say his name?
Speaker 2 (07:40):
His name is Daniel, but I don't want to say
who he used to work for because that person's considered
a monster in the industry. Now okay, But I was like,
I have some ideas for some segments. I can write him.
I can get him through Molly to you. And he's like,
please do He's like, do you do this? I was like, yes,
I've done game shows. I've done many game shows. I've
done Bunk. How about that? I did Bunk with Kurt
(08:01):
Brown older, so kiss my ass. But anyways, I have
fresh taboo. Now I'm need cffs with the laches. It's
called pointless and shook hands with the laches. Couldn't have
been sweeter people. Man, if every time I went to
a live comedy show I came home with a plastic
wrap board game.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I think you would be making most comedy shows a
lot better.
Speaker 2 (08:24):
Much better. Maybe at Bananas Lives after Banana Fest, we
should occasionally hand out longest Banana gets a wrapped board
game that I buy at CBS the day before.
Speaker 1 (08:33):
Oh, that's a fantastic idea.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You want to hear the story?
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Are you kidding me? I'm burning up inside. Dude.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Mark sent this in aka goy genius doorbell prankster that
tormented German residents a German residence apartment turned out to
be a slug The Guardian, written by Kate Connolly in Berlin.
She goes feet on the ground.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Yeah, to meet this slug m.
Speaker 2 (09:08):
And it took a short time to get there. Inhabitants
of an apartment block in Bavaria beautiful. I love Bavaria.
Can't wait to go back. Actually, you and I should
go to Bavaria when your schedule freeze up. That would
be a fun dude trip to Bavaria. We'll get flula
(09:28):
he can translate for us.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh god, that'd be amazing.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
He'd do it. Apartment block in Bavaria, Southern Germany, who
called police to investigate relentless buzzing of their doorbells late
at night and were surprised. That's expecting a teenage culprit.
When they were surprised it was not, in fact a
teenage prankster, they had suspected it was a slug. The
(09:51):
slug had been sliding up and down the bell plate.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Oh wow, so it wasn't even I always assumed it
was inside the wires. It was not. It was on
the outside, just going.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Up and down, just like a wet finger, just ringing
that bell repeatedly.
Speaker 1 (10:11):
So funny.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
The slug had been sliding up and down the bell play,
creating havoc in the building and tearing angry residents out
of their beds long after midnight when they could not
sleep for the noise. Because of the noise, At first,
they had suspected the so called clinging strike klingle strike,
which is the bell prank.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Oh, that's the klingle strike.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
That's a good one to put your comedy mind. The
klingle strike a sometimes popular pastime among German youths, ding
dong ditch, knock a door or knockdown ginger as it
is referred to an English or Englyn probably ding dong
ditch here people would say that here it typically involves
(10:54):
children or youths ringing a doorbell and running away before
they get caught. I've done it many times. But when
the ringing continued after the arrival of two police officers,
despite the fact that nobody's standing at the door and
a motion detector had failed to activate, a closer look
at the metal plate revealed the presence of a slug
or and that is called a knocked.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Shki, knocked schnecky night a night schlug a night. They
just a knock schnecky in German literally naked snail, naked
knocked schnecky.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Okay, good word.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
So there was literally a naked snail.
Speaker 1 (11:35):
Snail. That is so funny that a slug is called
a naked snail.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
It's really accurate.
Speaker 1 (11:40):
I mean accurate that that is that I think that
that really does sum up the the personality of.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
The German Germans.
Speaker 1 (11:48):
It's very very very efficient as well.
Speaker 2 (11:52):
That's and also a little sexual.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Yeah, the naked a little kinky.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
This is a naked snail? Is this slug?
Speaker 1 (12:02):
It's just a snail wants to be free.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
It's just just just bone to sway the snug sneaking.
It's very naked snail. And then it'd be funnier if
they called snails dressed slugs.
Speaker 2 (12:19):
They probably don't. We'd gone to bed. We don't tend
to answer the door after ten pm.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
Who does.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Crazy thing to say? So? And the bell ringing, I.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
Don't think I answered the door after eight pm. Yeah,
but I'm just like, no, I'm not expecting anyone, well
to anybody at my door.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
These days, we all have fifteen cameras pointing at my house.
I can see every inch of my yard. I mean,
it is like mission impossible out there.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
I do not have any I have one camera that
doesn't work very well.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Well as you move into your new place, I bet
correct that error. So when the bell rang, I tried
to ignore it. I thought it might be the kids
from the abandoned house over the road. Okay, great detail.
Speaker 1 (13:08):
From the abandoned house over the road. Said less Also,
what does over the road mean? Does that mean across
the street?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
I think it does, Lisa.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
That's a great way to say across the street.
Speaker 2 (13:21):
Lisa, who said this is a thirty year old, which
we didn't need to know. She's a shop sales assistant
and she told the taboid builds. But then my sister
in law, who lives upstairs called and asked whether our
bell was ringing, and hers wouldn't stop. It kept ringing
even as we telephoned, and despite the fact that no
one could be seen at the door, we became very uneasy.
Speaker 1 (13:40):
Yeah, of course, it seemed like this is ghost shit.
Speaker 2 (13:44):
Yeah, this is ghost shit. That's when we decided to
call ze police. Together the residents and police discovered a
slug traversing the door entry panel. You could even see
the slime trail that it had made as it crawled
over all the censors Lisa, who's thirty years old, who's
a shop assist until the taploy build.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
So they're electronic. They're like very sensitive electronic ones I see.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
In a statement, a police spokesman for Schweibach Bavaria said
the animal had been brought.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
Had been Oh man, I love having a Shriebach when
I go to Texas.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
It's such a good I love it. It is so good.
Said The animal had been brought down to size, taught
a lesson about its territory boundaries and then firmly placed
on a nearby stretch of grass.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
You think it's not coming I think it's not coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
It's liking it.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
It likes going over those things. It's coming back.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Dude, my my buddy. Do you do.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
You have a door ditch?
Speaker 2 (14:46):
Yes, so many times, and I don't. I don't even
remember enjoying it. I don't remember any joy to it.
We egged a lot of houses. If anything come my way,
if I get door ditch, if I get my car egged.
I had a car hit a couple of times bags
over the years. I just crack up laughing, because that
(15:07):
is karma coming back to get me in a very
real way. I never destroyed property, you know. I never
stole anything crazy from anybody. But yeah, I ranked some
doorbells and ran away.
Speaker 1 (15:17):
Yeah I don't. I think I just I did it once.
I never ranked doorbells, but we like, I think we
toilet papered houses once. And it's just like it was
just so easy to get in trouble, like it would you.
I would just get caught like immediately is it's like did.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You do that? What? No?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Well, then why are you out here right?
Speaker 2 (15:39):
Now, yes, nice. On a Halloween, I was with some
friends and they said, go ring that doorbell and run away,
because we would do it to houses that wouldn't give
out candy and so like, if you didn't have any
decor and your lights were off, we would ding dong
ditch you. And I think.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That's I think that's justice.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Yeah, it's probably eleven or twelve or so walking around.
I don't even think we had costumes on at this point.
And I go up to ding dong ditch and my
friends to prank me through an egg. So I ring
the doorbell and I look in the little windows alongside
the door, see an old man's face staring out at
me like angry, and then an egg hits the glass,
(16:18):
not directly over his face, but right there. And then
I run and he opens the door screaming. But yes,
my friend sort of double tapped me. I ding dong ditched,
and they egged and I was face to face with
father time and I aged one hundred years that moment.
Speaker 1 (16:33):
Oh my god, scary, terrifying, scary.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
Yeah, but he must have saw me come in or
he just hates those kids, and I just ding dong clank.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And his story and his story is that he is
the nicest man in the entire universe. He just doesn't
have enough money for candy this year.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
Thankfully for my conscience, he's long passed away.
Speaker 1 (16:59):
Soon after after that, actually died trying to get on
a get on a ladder to clean off some egg,
fell off and passed away that evening.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
He has an extreme allergy to children and and antis
raw eggs. Man, so good. Well, it was a slug.
Turns out it was just a slug all along. Turns
out it was a naked snail.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I'm going to finish this. I started this last episode
and I didn't realize I never read it. This was
meat Splash, the world's first search and rescue otter.
Speaker 2 (17:32):
Hell yeah, I want to hello Splash.
Speaker 1 (17:36):
This is an I fl science by the way, I
just want you to know what's going on on my
end of this call. School is just let out.
Speaker 2 (17:47):
Oh I see this.
Speaker 1 (17:49):
This library is across the street from the middle school,
one of the two middle schools in this town. Yeah,
and and it's a it's a delight in the fact
that the moment school that's out, the entire library fills
with like one hundred middle aged middle school children, children's, children's,
middle school age children. And it's great. But also I
(18:11):
am in a glass cube.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Yeah, they're all looking at you. Hey, you've been on
TV a lot of times. They might know you. They're like,
that's the guy from New Girl. That's the guy from
every show.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
All these all these middle school aged kids are like, yeah,
it's the guy from New Girl. I'm always watching New
Girl late at night.
Speaker 2 (18:29):
You'd be surprised. Oh, come on, we don't know what
they have on their phone. These kids, they're living in
their own worlds.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
Man, they're watching roadblocks and episodes of New Girl from
two thousand and five.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
I know that guy.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
This was written by Holly Large. Also it just says edited,
Oh wait, no, sorry. It was written by Maddie Chapman. Maddie,
thank you. You're just in the business. Little circle picture,
big old smile. As we've said before, we like that.
Keep smiling, Keep smiling, Mattie. And it was edited by
Holly Large. I don't I've never seen an editing concert
(19:09):
like a byline at the top of a story.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I've never met. Somebody's last name is Large. That's a
Holly is a good way to go with that name, though, Yes,
it's a night. It's a sweet name. It can't really
make fun of Holly.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Large, and it sounds all like one word, Holly large.
Speaker 2 (19:26):
Yeah, but you don't want to name your daughter gay.
You don't want to be gay large, is the editor
at the place, because then that kid will not survive
your library experience.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
Exactly, this is splash. I want to be search and
rescue superstar, training to hunt for missing people in Florida's
murky waters. Oh did we mention he's a fucking otter?
What it does not say fucking the intrepid mustelid? What
did you know that otters are mustelids?
Speaker 2 (19:55):
Never heard that word my whole entire life.
Speaker 1 (19:57):
M U st E l I D put the on
the mustard. It's a mustelid is the latest edition of
the team at Peace River Canine Search and Rescue. They've
trusually used dogs to track the scent of missing people,
but when investigations spill underwater, a canine's capabilities are limited.
The saying was that the investigation ends at the water's edge.
(20:19):
Mike Hadzele at Peace River Canine Search and Rescue told
Tampa local outlet WTSP, I thought, why can't we train
an honor to do this kind of work. You know what,
this guy, Mike Hadzel is thinking out its side of
the box, and I love this guy.
Speaker 2 (20:33):
Yeah, I like it too.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
My first thought is definitely not why can't we train
an otter to do this kind of work? I mean
my dreams, Yeah, that's my dreams. But I didn't think
it was possible. Having posted online about his out there
approach to underwater search and rescue, Hadzell was contacted by
an Arizona zoo with an ideal candidate, an Asian small
(20:55):
clawed otter called Splash great name. For a little over
a year, Hadzel has been training Splash in his backyard,
filling three kiddie pools with water as well as ominously
the scent of human remains. Splash is trained to locate
and identify the odor of human remains, so his job
is to find the human victim underwater in the low
(21:15):
visibility conditions that we can't see them. Hazel told WTSP,
explaining that the humans emit over five hundred volatile organic
compounds unique to our species that can be used to
locate us. By the way, my niece is actually a
trained forensic scientist and her job. Her job is to
(21:40):
identify what makes human remains smell because we don't actually know,
like that's why we use animals to do it instead
of using a robot, because we don't actually know what
the combination of the specific chemicals are the molecules are,
because if once you do, you can just have a
robot identify those molecules, but we don't actually know it.
(22:03):
So she works with decomposing bodies to identify the exact
specific chemical signature of like this is a hour long
dead body, this is a two hour long dead body,
This is a three hour long dead body.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
That sort of stuff.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
Isn't that crazy?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
That is? And we have the author, the amazing author,
Mary roach On, and she has a whole book about yeah,
dead bodies and it is I read it before she
was on because when she came on she was doing
fuzz which are animal crimes and great, the best we
got to have her back on because Mary roach is
so funny. Which niece is this is this? Ariel? Is
(22:41):
that a name of Do you have a niece named Ariel? No?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
These are my nieces on my mom's side. Oh cool,
Ariel and Fantasia and Fantasia is the one who is
the forensic scientist.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
I met her at the Dodgers game, both of us.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yes, you met both of them. They are fancas lovely.
They are both fantastic human beings. Really, I am so
proud of them, and I'm hoping to see them more
than I'm on the East coast.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
Hell, yeah, that's awesome. That's a cool and insane gig. Like,
that's a fascinating thing to study. Yeah, that book Stiff
and Stiff was so fascinating. If you guys, go back
and listen to that episode. If you're new to Bananas,
go listen to Mary Roach episode. She's so great.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
She's wonderful. I have a specific memory of Mary Roach
telling us that the that human orgasms are completely non
physical event or something.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
Do you remember, I do.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
How do we even get to that topic? I don't
even know. They're completely mental, Like there are multiple people
who orgasm just by like thinking of something.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Damn, we must have done a story about that. That
makes a lot of sense.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
Maybe she was just like reassuring us, oh no, that's
one hundred percent true.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
Well sure, I mean we got a lot of stories
for a while, and we don't get him anymore about
mostly British women marrying or having lovers that are ghosts, right,
and having great sexual lovers with ghosts and then often
getting dumped by those ghosts. One was a pirate ghost
a ghost.
Speaker 1 (24:20):
There was also a I think this was a gentleman
who was married to an ash tray. Great, do you
remember that?
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Sure, we've had the guys married. No, we had a
bodybuilder guy that was like he just kept marrying different things.
Like they're always at the UK and I don't know why.
I don't know. It's a small island.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
I guess I don't really know why it gets the
news here.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
It is.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
Splash is trained to locate and identify the odor of
human remains. I see, we see all these bubbles coming out,
and he's sucking some of those bubbles back in and
he's tasting them. Wow. The odor attaches itself to the
bubbles and then he tasted tastes it when it comes
back into his mouth. And so that's how he does it.
When he finds something, he comes back and he grabs
(25:07):
my mask.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
Awe.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
His good work is then rewarded with a treat of salmon.
Splash by the rest of the rescue team. So he's
eaten salmon, one of the smelliest fishes, and then still
can do this. Splash is amazing. Splash and the rest
of the rescue team have also branched out from backyard
pools to Florida water, where is the curious carnivor is
tethered to a line to keep him safe, make sure
(25:29):
he doesn't swim off, and he's tracked by his teammates
and sonar. The biggest threat both he and his human
counterparts face is from alligators. Well Jesus. So far in
his short career, Splash has had three successful fines in
credible popular science, garnering investments. In garnering interests from all
over the country, including from the FBI and Florida Department
(25:50):
of Law Enforcement. He's working his way up the food chain.
Hats to Laught. In his downtime, Splash likes to wrestle,
pestering the cats and dogs of Peace River Canine Search
and Rescue. At the end of the day, a long
hard day, Otter puts his paws up and has a
well deserved rest in bed with Hatzel. He sleeps with them.
Speaker 2 (26:07):
Man, what wow?
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Is that normal for an honor to do?
Speaker 2 (26:13):
I don't think so.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's they're not going to go back going to that anymore.
Speaker 2 (26:18):
Just leaving that there.
Speaker 1 (26:19):
It seems like an utofficial way to have an employee.
Speaker 2 (26:24):
Seems like a part one of a part two story.
Speaker 1 (26:27):
To me, there's bigger story is search and rescue. Boss
sleeps with his honor.
Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, they Holly Large left that in because she was like, Uh,
this could lead somewhere one day. There might be another
corpse in the near future and we're gonna need splash
and fish this guy out. Well, damn, that's so interesting.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Tease us into some shoutouts breath.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
Oh sure, Joey D sent this in. Thanks Joey D.
Cheating scandal rock the World Stone Skimming Championships.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
I was gonna do this one too, baby. I'm happy
you're doing it.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
And I think I should have read it like this
cheating scandal rocks the World Stone Skimming Championships. That's better.
Thumbs ups. Here we go. I just have a couple.
Vianka Sanchez, which is the coolest name. I wish my
name was Vianka Sanchez.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
Vianca, not Bianca.
Speaker 2 (27:27):
Vianca with a V.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
That is the coolest name.
Speaker 2 (27:30):
Yeah, wants to give the biggest thumbs up to her
little pups, Vennie and the er staff at the Veterinary
Referral Center of Central Organs. Vennie has I m h
A and spent six days in the ICU. I think
that is an immune system thing. I didn't look it up.
My apologies. He had three blood transfusions, and despite all odds,
(27:51):
Vennie is making a full recovery and living a normal life.
She's Oh, Venny's a girl. Sorry, she got three blood
transfusions and she's the light of Vianka's life. Thumbs up
to Vianka and Svenny.
Speaker 1 (28:05):
Oh hell yeah, thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (28:07):
And to all the all the vet vet texts. Yeah,
all the vets, vet texts, everybody that loves animals and
takes care of them. Thumbs up to you. Let's just
dedicate this sill episode of veterinarians. Why not?
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Oh hell yeah to vets and vet texts.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
We got it. They love it. We love them.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Great job, guys, stressful job, so fun to say.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Vet tech vet tech.
Speaker 1 (28:28):
Yeah, it's a good name.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
M I don't own any scrubs. You and I should
get some yellow scrubs for live shows.
Speaker 1 (28:35):
I don't know why we don't either.
Speaker 2 (28:36):
They're cheap.
Speaker 1 (28:37):
Yeah, of course they're comfortable.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Get out there, and some yellow scrubs and some yellow crocs.
I'm laughing.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I mean we should that should maybe be our uniform
for Bananas Fest. Yellow crocs, yellow scrubs and stethoscopes.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Oh my god, doctor Banana's reporting to duty. I like it.
Speaker 1 (28:59):
The doctor in bananas is here.
Speaker 2 (29:02):
If you wear that at the live show Bananas Fest.
This is going to come out after Banana's Fest. So
let's just see if you can pull it off. You
coming out as a banana surgeon. Kurt people, I love it, dude.
All right, well we'll look it up. Carly wants the
thumbs up this day one Bananamal Haley Haley recently competed
in a weightlifting competition in Fort Worth and Haley Kurt
(29:24):
won bronze in her weight class. There is a video
you can go check it out on her Instagram. Curty B.
Haley is fucking strong. I mean she would rip you
me in half easily. I think that's fantastic. And Carly
says Haley is both strong physically and mentally, and she
is so proud of her of achieving this weightlifting goal.
(29:48):
That's that's a nice one.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
That's huge. Thumbs up.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
And speaking of vets, but the other kind. Probably two
months ago I said, hey, if your active duty military
or a VET from military, let us know Kurt. Hundreds,
I mean literally hundreds, and it's awesome. Active and vets,
including one Travis, who is a veterinarian in the military,
(30:13):
so he's a VET VET. Pretty good.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (30:16):
Here's Nicole. Nicole wants to double thumbs up her brother
and sister, who will remain nameless. Nicole's brother made his
promotion to Tech Sergeant E seven, and her sister was
promoted to Master Sergeant E eight and is now the
flight chief at her job. Nicole says, as someone who
grew up watching them do some truly stupid shit, I'm
not sure how either of them are still alive or
(30:38):
who decided to put them in charge, but I couldn't
be more proud of them. Thumbs up, great job, and
thumbs up to all of our military ban animals, active
and retired. Good for you. Thumbs ups. Joey d sent
this in cheating scandal rocks the World Stone Skimming Championships.
This was in BBC News, written by Benjamin the stone
(31:02):
skimmer Russell. Yeah, best in the biz. So I think
we caught skipping here in the States. But that's what
it is, stone skipping, skipping rocks. Yep. The World Stone
Skimming Championships have been rocked by a cheating scandal.
Speaker 1 (31:16):
After several competitive imagine.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
I mean it must have people must have been vomiting
on themselves, they were so distraught.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
AT's just I mean, how much can the prize money
be at the World Stone Skipping competition? What is it
like a handkerchief? Is that? Like the main is that
the first cash prize?
Speaker 2 (31:41):
Do you get a cameo from Dwayne Johnson? That would
be worth it? That'd be worth cheating.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
You get a cameo from Dane Matthews. Hey, I know
you're looking for the actual Dave Matthews. This is Dane Matthews.
Speaker 2 (31:56):
I'm Chief of Digital.
Speaker 1 (31:58):
Technology, Dane Matthews.
Speaker 2 (32:01):
That's our go to escape name. When we need a
fake name for an idiot in one of our stories,
it's gonna be Dane Matthews.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
I like that he's the artificial intelligence officer at Taco
Bell And that actually makes sense now that I think
about it, Like it's Baja blasts and Dane Matthews. I'm
referencing another episode, folks.
Speaker 2 (32:23):
But the Baja Blast zero, like the sugar free calorie
free one, is delicious and as a mixer hard to beat.
Speaker 1 (32:32):
Really, what's it taste like?
Speaker 2 (32:35):
I have no idea how to describe a kurt? So it's.
Speaker 1 (32:40):
How close is it to a mountain dew? A regular mountain?
Speaker 2 (32:43):
Pretty far? It's wow?
Speaker 1 (32:45):
Okay? Is it like more pineapplely or like?
Speaker 2 (32:49):
It's definitely more tropical, more tropical. It's definitely a greener
blue or color.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
It's a green blue color.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
It's beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Always would have thought of Baja last was like more
of an orange color.
Speaker 2 (33:02):
Sadly, no, maybe they have a new They do have
different varieties.
Speaker 1 (33:06):
But you can only get that at Taco Bell right, thank.
Speaker 2 (33:09):
You, ding.
Speaker 1 (33:13):
Sponsored in any way, shape or by.
Speaker 2 (33:16):
The four Men'll have a five full fucking mid.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Of conversation.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Live More Live Moss, fourth meal, being Mouth, Dane Matthews Band,
Diarrhea incident, Chicago Bridge, Kinsey Bridge, the World Stone Skimming Championships.
Speaker 1 (33:36):
I've been rocking it was a stone skimming.
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Championship and cameo you bakeoffscooed this season are watching baking show.
Speaker 1 (33:48):
No, I've never watched a great British bakeoff is a
fucking awesome.
Speaker 2 (33:51):
Dude, It's the best go back six seasons. Uh. And
but the combination now of Noel and Allison. There's four hosts,
but Noel now center the sort of color commentary, Prue
and Paul Hollywood, who is piercing beautiful blue eyes. He
they are the play by play, they're the judges. But
they added this woman, Allison, who's like an actress and
(34:14):
just an all around host. Great gal, and the two
of them together are so charming and lovable that it
elevated the show that was already great to even more fun.
Speaker 1 (34:23):
I'm looking forward to great season watching something at some point.
I currently have about thirty seven minutes of TV watching
time a week, and I'm trying to make it through
one episode of Task.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
I got through Task. They have a great They have
the Pennsylvania accent. Oh yeah, come over here, put down
your fast your life.
Speaker 1 (34:42):
So much like Baltimore. Man.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Dude, it brings me back to my Balmer rates. More
than two two hundred people from twenty seven countries attended
this year's event on the tiny island of Easdale off
the west coast of Scotland. I would like to.
Speaker 1 (34:59):
Go to a an island to do this.
Speaker 2 (35:01):
I know, and that's the part that appeals to me, like,
I do want to go see this one because Scotland's
so beautiful, it's crazy. Yeah, I've never been to the
tiny island of Easdale. And when you get there, I
bet sitting on a folding chair and watching a skimming
championship would be very fun.
Speaker 1 (35:16):
I honestly would imagine getting higher than I've ever gotten
in my entire life and watching And I'm not one
to get high, no, but watching a stone skipping competition,
I do feel like, well, that's the perfect opportunity.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
To the good people. The organizer who is doctor Kyle Matthews.
And I'm not kidding, I don't know you Jesus, I'm
not kidding.
Speaker 1 (35:38):
Hugh's family they're everywhere, has gotten everywhere.
Speaker 2 (35:42):
They have their tentacles in every pie around the planet.
Speaker 1 (35:46):
You you know, everybody was like, we love Dave Matthews,
but he's a NEPO baby. Matthews run everything from stone
skipping competitions to the technology at Taco Bell, and Dave
Matthews wouldn't be who he is these family connections.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Let alone the violin player that white kids and berks
can't get enough of a black eye playing a fiddle.
It is like that guy is incredible. But when I
was young, I'm like, you, guys, calm down, He's a
fiddle player. It's fine. Their drummer's good though. So anyways,
(36:25):
this is a shout out from the Banana Boys to
organizer doctor Kyle Matthews. If you need two Americans to
come to your island.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Next year and do commentary.
Speaker 2 (36:37):
And do commentary, will live stream it on YouTube and
our Patreon, and we will. We will bring in so
many eyeballs you won't even know what to do. We
will be there. Kurt, my co host, the Big Banana,
will be the highest he's ever been in his life.
Scotty Banana Boy number two.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
Actually, if we're performing, I won't be high.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
I will be drunk on vodka Baja Blast Zero's that
I'm sure I'm gonna have to break.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
I will continually ask what does it taste like it?
Scotty will say I cannot explain it.
Speaker 2 (37:12):
And nobody on earth can. And we will watch all
of your cheating stone skimmers and give them just thumbs up.
For days. Organizer diar Kyle Matthews. The stone is in
your court. We are ready to travel to the tiny
island of Eastdale. Rules state that stones must come naturally
(37:35):
from island slate. However, some are found to have been
ground into a suspiciously circular shape. And Kurt, you saw
this story. Those were circle stones. Yeah, they were cheating
to help them bounce on the surface of the water.
Organizer doctor Kyle Matthews told BBC News that the offenders
held their hands up and apologized, So they admitted they cheated.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
They he I mean, like, well, that's what That's what
going on it. That's what's happening at stone skipping, you
know what I mean. People are being honest with each other.
They're telling their truths.
Speaker 2 (38:08):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
They're grinding stones down into circles, not thinking they'll get
in trouble for it.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Did they think that it was legal? Do they think
it was okay?
Speaker 2 (38:19):
Well that's a good question. Entrince choose their own stones,
and judges use a measuring device called the Ring of
Truth to ensure that they're no bigger than three inches
in diameter. Each. Competitors allowed three skims, and the stones
must bounce at least twice on water before sinking. I mean,
come on, that's child's play. Yeah, I can get it
up to twelve. I bet get twelve, no problem.
Speaker 1 (38:40):
But I mean like people who win these things, I
think they get like forty skips exactly.
Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah, So the rule that it has to go at
least twice, I'm thinking if you and I were doing commentary,
we'd say, bump that up to six. Get some of
these cheaters out of here. We got places to go.
Kurt can't speak, he's so high, and I'm so drunk.
I peed my pants before this thing even started. And
that's a Baja blast.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Oh yeah, that's every time somebody throws you go ba blast.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
And I'd make fourteen dollars on Taco Bell's Venmo. Doctor
Matthews also known as the toss Master. No, which but
isn't tossing off Masturbata.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
Yeah, and he's the toss Master. I mean, I'm starting
to think that maybe stone Skimmers have a bit of
a little sense of humor about this whole thing.
Speaker 2 (39:28):
I think so too.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
Uh.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Doctor Matthews, who's known as the toss Master, which in
America would be like, I don't know, the sploge Master
or something told Good Morning Scotland that judges heard rumors
and murmurings of some nefarious deeds. There was a little
bit of stone doctoring. He said. They had shaped it
so it was perfectly circular and fitted in our three
inch measurer as a piece it's as it's a piece
(39:54):
of metal. I don't think we can blame it too much.
The problem was we just didn't notice at the time
that they were suspicious circular. Doctor Matthews, the tossmaster, said
lessons had been learned and they would move on to
an even greater event next year where Kurt and I
the Banana Boys can come to Scotland and hosts. Just
(40:14):
don't forget that detail.
Speaker 1 (40:17):
We will be for a moment and I don't know.
Something just occurred outside. Okay, but I'm on the second
floor of this library and it is hundreds of children
screaming at the same time outside. I'm a shocked that
the microphone hasn't picked it up yet.
Speaker 2 (40:34):
I haven't heard it an Aplewood Library.
Speaker 1 (40:36):
You are wild on Friday afternoon.
Speaker 2 (40:41):
You're gonna have it at your own office soon, Kurt,
You're gonna have a view.
Speaker 1 (40:44):
I'm like I'm weeks away, dude, I'm weeks away.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
It's gonna be so good. You're gonna the only children
screaming are gonna be your children below you, down in
their living room, and you can just go, hey, Laren,
shut them up and throw your shoe at the door.
Speaker 1 (41:00):
I cannot wait. It's going to be absolutely fantastic. My god, Scotty,
you're so close. What a delight to do this with you.
It makes me happy every single time we do it.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Me too, buddy, me too. Let me give you the
last details of this event and we'll get on out
of here. Jonathan Jennings went on to win victory. I
do feel like we needed to say his name. Jonathan
Jennings won as the first American winner.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
Collection of fantastic names.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
Jonathan Jennings won. He's America's first winner. He skimmed his stones.
Oh I see, it's a distance competition. Oh really, a
cumulative distance? How do you measure that? Of one hundred
and seventy seven meters? So that's a football field and
three quarters of another football field for all the Yanks
(41:51):
out there, that's crazy. So yeah, three stones went three
hundred and six hundred feet almost.
Speaker 1 (42:00):
What do they have a drone or something. They must
have markers in the water.
Speaker 2 (42:04):
Maybe they have an otter. Maybe splashes over there?
Speaker 1 (42:06):
Oh, splash is there?
Speaker 2 (42:08):
Snippering splash?
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Doctor tossmolster and then tasting them and being like that's
three hundred and seventy two meters.
Speaker 2 (42:16):
Thank you. The event was organized first nineteen eighty three
by Albert Baker, who is an island resident. The contest
is staged in a former slate quarry that was flooded
by a tidal wave in eighteen eighty one.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
I mean, how amazing. Doesn't stop getting better?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
I know this was a great story. Thank you Joey
d and all the bean animals who sent this in
many did. It is run by volunteers. Proceeds support the
Look community projects and charities. Last year it raised fifteen
hundred pounds fifteen thousand pounds. I'm telling you, guys, doctor
Kyle Matthews, we can double that number.
Speaker 1 (42:48):
We can double that number.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
Easdale. Our door to shore could be from our chairs
into this quarry of tidal water. Yep. Easdale is the
smallest permanently inhabit island of the inner Hibberties with a oh.
Speaker 1 (43:03):
My god, the Hibberdies. I've never been to the Hibrides.
I've always wanted to know I have.
Speaker 2 (43:07):
They're beautiful with a population of and it says about
sixty people. Wow, so I want to go. It might
be fifty nine, it could be sixty two. It's somewhere
around sixty people are permanently there. Doctor Organizer, Tossmaster, doctor
Kyl Matthews were common dressed as surgeons. We would love
(43:30):
to do commentary and live streaming around the world for you.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
Here's my question.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
I have an answer.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
What what media genius thank you do they have working
for them? That was like, we got to invent a
cheating scandal. So this gets picked up in the press
and then people know about our event because this is
No one's covering the rock skimming competition unless there's something
(43:56):
like this.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
No. No, We'll sit in a yellow canoe and we'll
do play by play from a yellow canoe, shine.
Speaker 1 (44:06):
Water constantly making waves, making it harder for the competitors
to play.
Speaker 2 (44:11):
Dude, Yes, yes, yes, that is so good. Well we
hope it works out. The Banana Bays like to travel.
This year busy year, Kurt had nine hundred huge life
swings and changes I've never pitched more or written more
specs in my entire life, but twenty six I bet,
(44:32):
I bet we get back on that on that airplane
and start we get we get in those yellow canoes.
Speaker 1 (44:38):
I'm ready, baby.
Speaker 2 (44:39):
We're going to bring who Let the Dogs Out on
a Bluetooth speaker to the tiniest island and we're going
to judge some skimming with splash the otter. And that's
just how the Banana Boys do it. Thank you everybody,
exactly right. Thank you to the wonderful Kirdiebe who's been
standing in a library surrounded by children so that we
could record some episodes today. That's so he can cuss
and his children don't hear. Is also very wise of him.
(45:03):
I'm banan Boy number two and this has been Banana's podcast.
Oh yeah, that sounded like Dave Matthews. Bus Bananas is
an exactly right media production.
Speaker 1 (45:19):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (45:28):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart.
Speaker 1 (45:31):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
part time employee.
Speaker 2 (45:35):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars.
Host
Scotty Landes
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