March 25, 2025 • 51 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk to Jane Borden (author, new book Cults Like Us: Why Doomsday Thinking Drives America) about wallabies being blamed for crop circles in opium fields, missing Oklahoma teen slept in toilet paper fort inside Walmart for days and a 13 year old boy arrested after impersonating a doctor!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Okay, Scotty ready, Kritty b I'm ready to laugh and
laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
High as a kite. Wallabies blamed for crop circles.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh well, oh yep. You see. That's what I love
about the Bananas Podcast. You just never know what you're
gonna get.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
But you know it's gonna be for me, It's gonna
be some animals.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Damn right. Well, let's wilden out a little bit on
this episode of Bananas.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Don't World.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Would you believe.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
It's your mid cillion pieces?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Would you? Banana ba.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Banana banana guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas Hello, Landis.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's Kurt Brown all over there. How are you, buddy boy?
What's new? What's good?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
What's good?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Maybe March twenty ninth, doing all the show in Phoenix, Arizona.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'll be there, stand up live. Come on, guys, come
on and.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
To anybody coming to Phoenix, Arizona to that show. That'll
be the first show after I've stopped my dry sixty nine.
And I think you're dry sixty nine ing too right,
you're currently not drinking? Uh oh, you broke it.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
I'm doing a year you're off all year. I'm off
all year.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, Well in that case, Phoenix ban Animals, you're gonna
see me easily drunk off of two beverages and Kurt
keeping us on tron track, keeping it together because I
am going to be Looney Tunes. So come on out
and be bugs Bunny with us.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
And then I am doing shows in Asbury Park, New Jersey,
for Chicago, Fine Illinois, and Cincinnati, Ohio, May seventh, eighth,
and ninth.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
So please come see me. All the stuff is on
our instagram.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Go to the Bananas Podcast, or go to my Instagram,
or go to my website Kurtcomedy dot com or the
bananaspodcast dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Fie with me. That was, Oh yeah, are you excited? Yeah,
let's get into it this. I have a feeling. I'll
let you do the intro. But based on what I
read about this book, I think the Murder Bananas are
going to be obsessed with this author.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
And I agree one percent it's a good choice. Our
guest today is an author, journalist, and editor. She is
a regular contributor to Vanity Fair, New York Times Magazine,
and The Washington Post, and her new book, Cults Like
Us will be published in March.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Please welcome Jane Borden.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Hi, guys, yay, welcome.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Welcome, Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
I didn't say the whole name of the book. Say
the whole name of the book.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
It's called like Us Why the Bananas podcast fans love
Curtain Scotty. No, it's called Cults Like Us? Why Doomsday
Thinking drives America?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I mean this is going to be this is right
up our listeners, alleys, this is going to be perfect
for them. I love it.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah, it's all about the Cult of America. I mean
we were we were founded by a cult. The Puritans
were high controlled doomsday group, and all their like wacky
ideas about the end of the world didn't go away.
They just became the foundation of American culture. So we're
(03:43):
all indoctrinated in ways we don't recognize. It's very true.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, oh wow, So is it?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Like so like the first chapter is about the Mayflower people. Yeah, okay, great,
and then what other cults do you get into?
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Well, so each chapter opens with a case study of
a group in history, and then like I highlight one
bit of cult like thinking and trace it through American
history from the Puritans up to today.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh cool.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Yeah, And I tried to focus on lesser known groups
just because you know. So one of my favorites is
was this group called Mankind United in the forties, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
It was this is a great and it sounds so fun.
Like if you were like, do you want to join
Mankind United, I'd actually know.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
It just sounds like a soccer team.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I'm rooting for Mankind United at the match today and we.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Sell for Yeah. It was it didn't start as a cult,
but but it was a thing you had to join.
It was a big scam. Ultimately, it was like a
conspiracy theory scam. But they this guy argued that there
was a secret group of hidden rulers who wanted to
exterminate or enslave all of humanity. Oh good, yeah, uh
(05:06):
huh that sounds familiar though, right.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
But then but but like you know, don't despair, because
there's also a secret group of white hat people called
the Sponsors. And you can we can unite as Mankind
and fight the bad guys if you give me all
your money.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Essentially, yeah, okay, now you're turning me on it. Now
you're interested.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I could tell you, Yeah, some stuff I could.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Sell you do.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All of them break down with like shadow, shadow organization
that we're fighting against, and you have to be on
the side of good.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
I mean every conspiracy theory, yeah for sure, which is
just and this is something I researched and write about.
But that's just the story of the Antichrist. Sure, uh huh,
just over and over and over again and painted in
a different way so people don't think. People don't see
the like radical Christianity in it, but it's very much
(06:03):
what it is. Like.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
So all of them are just like there is a
Satan out there. It has different names. Maybe it's called
you know, maybe they're lizard people, maybe they're the Maybe
there it's it's the uh, it's the people who meet
at that thing where they burn an owl in San
Francisco every year. You know, Like what are those people called?
(06:26):
The people who don't know the owl?
Speaker 4 (06:27):
The big owl?
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Were you there?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Idea?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
But you guys don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, you got to look up Burning Owl cult. But
I would be into that. I think that sounds fun too.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Sure, it's a bunch of billionaires who all get together.
Billionaires get together, the grown the yeah something grove.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh, bohemian grove. Yes, bohemian growth.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
One of the funniest things about this project to me
is that people keep coming to me to talk about cults,
because that's I've been like researching this for five years. Yeah,
and they're always like, and you know about this with
such and such, and more often than not, I don't
just because there are so many Yeah, it's insane.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Do you get into Amway at all?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I do.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I think big chapter on Amway because.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I so my dad and my a lot of my
family is from Grand Rapids where Amway they have like
the spaceship Mother Building right in Ada, Michigan, which is
right outside of Grand Rapids, and it was legitimately like
at the end of my dad's street. So I would
just drive by it all the time. It's this big
circular like it looks like a spaceship and it's just
(07:40):
like sitting there and everyone they knew sold Amway and
was like involved in that cold.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I So.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
The the main thrust of that chapter is that the
reason Amway is not illegal is because I mean, there's
a lot of specific examples like government collusion, you know
what I mean. But the main reason is because it's
not that different from modern American capitalism. Like modern I
(08:10):
believe and argue that capitalism today in America is an MLM, right, or.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Because it doesn't seem to work for anybody but the
people at the.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Top bingo banngo. Yeah. And in fact, Kurt, I think
you may have may have forgotten this. But at the
end of that chapter, I quote one of your jokes, what.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You Do, which you found about ideating on ice cubes
and a journal.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
I love that joke because the billionaires are the ice
cubes and we're all peeing on them, or at least
that's my dream.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
No, I quote, Shoot, I forget the name of the track,
but it's off perfectly stupid. And I was recording my
audio book last week and said in the In the
recording of the audiobook, guy interjected to say, and Kurt,
I'm so sorry to be reciting one of your jokes,
because comics hate that more than anything.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
No, I don't really this guy, No, he loves it
once it's out there, once he's burned that material, bring
it back to life. As many times this poor guy
gets not credited with the how do I land skywriting it,
it pops up, it goes viral every six months, and
they rarely credit Kurt and think his fans that go,
(09:28):
that was Kurk Brown, Older, that was Kurk Brown. Yes,
it still makes me happy every single time time.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I still think accounts it's the craziest thing where it's
like if you run a meme account and you just
benefit off of other people's labor. If someone comments, just
put just at the person who did this and gives
you they're at like just I don't understand why they
can't simply do it, edit their posts and say like
this was done by this person.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Because that's all they do is steal, steal steel.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And make money. And they make money anyway the.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Pretend because with they admit they're stealing, then it's.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Stealing, right Yeah, and back to the things, and that's.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Just exactly what we've been talking about with MLM and
the government. And you're peeing on ice cubes joke for those.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
That such an old joke. Know, if it's on any album,
it is no.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I think for my next book, I'm just gonna quote
Kurt's old material.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
For those of you who are like, well, what's the joke.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Here's the quick version of the joke is uh is
like I love I would be like I love it
when bars put ice in their urinals.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
And if people don't know this, sometimes bars have ice
in the urinals.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And I love that because then I can pretend that
my penis is a giant laser and I'm destroying igloos
from outer space.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, I loved when you said that joke. It's great. Also,
I was working in a restaurant at that time, and
on Friday and Saturday nights we would dump a bucket
of ice and all the urinals to use less. And
it is a true joy. It is a true joy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah, I'm jealous.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
But so the Puritans there are a bunch of whimps, right,
Like the whole idea was the Puritans were like, we
gotta leave England because everybody's becoming too Catholic. And then
they get on wooden boats and just flee. Like to
me that all the Puritans were just not cool enough
or savvy enough to like flip it over in England,
(11:26):
so they just ran as far away as they could.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
That's a lot of it.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
They were like the losers who didn't get invited to
the party. Yeah, well we're gonna throw our own party
and God's gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah, and it's gonna be a party where nobody has
sex and nobody drinks.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It's the coolest party you've ever been to.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
We're gonna we're gonna be up all night, no dancing. Oh.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I really didn't realize how much that Puritan thing affected
being American until I dated it an Australian and she
and she keet being like, look, we never had the Puritans,
so I don't give a shit about that, Like, you know,
like it's just so much freer. Sex is more free.
(12:11):
It's like they're very it's much less of a shame
based culture.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Yeah, and it's and it's it is, it's all just
based on that.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
That's crazy, which is like you think that you're immune
from history. Often, you know, you feel like, well, I exist,
you know, as an independent thinking thing, and then you're like, no, no, no,
I am definitively in a stream of an American identity.
Even if I if I don't love what America does,
I'm still the most American brains.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
Worse, it's so deep inside us that we can't see it.
It's it's like you know, fish that don't know water.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, and it's so culty like.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
It's not just like people say Puritan. And that's I
guess the specific example of the the cult that were
it's a cult.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
The Puritans were.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I mean they were a high control doomsday group. They were.
It was all about power and control. The second and
third generations of like kids who were born into it
were so messed up. The scholars who've poured through diary
entries there was like a huge uptick in depression, psychosis, suicide,
(13:24):
which is what always happens to kids born in cults.
I mean, there's so many examples. I could go on
and on, but we don't not only do we not
recognize our Puritan roots, but we don't recognize how incredibly
screwed up they were as a group.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
This is great.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I'm exciting.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I'm very excited. No, I'm pumped. But let's shift gears
in the most dramatic way possible.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Kurt, Yeah, from Colts too, Wallabies.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You know what, I had a lead in.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I had a lead in because I dated an Australian.
This takes place in Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Here, it is it's a.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
It's a delightful dumb one. This was sent in by
Jen Fox. Thank you Jen.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
If you want to send in your dumb weird news stories,
please them to DMS on our Instagram account, The Bananas Podcast.
Crea can email us at The Bananas Podcast at gmail
dot com. This was in NBC News.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
That's real yeah, and it was written by the Associated Press.
Nobody wanted today.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
The Associated Press really does it like individualism. It's just
always just the press here. It is high as a kite.
Wallaby's blamed for crop circles. Okay, Wallaby's snacking in Tasmania's
legally grown opium poppy fields are getting high as a
kite and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, the
(14:46):
state officials said. Tasmania Attorney General Laura Gettings told a
budget hearing Wednesday that she recently read about the kangaroo
like marsupials, antics and a brief on the state's large
poppy industry. Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally
grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Did anybody know that?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No other than me?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Also in Case podcast, it's an educational podcast. In Case
you're wondering what a wallaby is. It looks exactly like
a kangaroo, except it's about like two feet tall as
opposed to a kangaroo, which is like the size of
a deer.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
It's a less threatening kangaroo.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
It's a less threatening, a more adorable kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Like Roco's Modern Life. Everybody loved that cartoon at some point.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Oh my goodness, that's a wallaby.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
He's a wallaby.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Roco the wallaby quote.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
We have a problem with wallaby's entering poppy fields, getting
as high as a kite and going around in circles.
The Mercury newspapers quoted Gettings as telling the hearing then
they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry
from wallabies that are high.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
She just summed up her statement.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Calls to Getting's office.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
We're not a mediately returned Thursday, and the Associated Press
was unable to obtain a copy of the brief. She
cited a manager for one of two Tasmanian companies licensed
to take medicinal products from poppy. Straw told the newspaper
that wildlife and livestock, including deer and sheep, that eat
the poppies are known to quote act weird.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah, they're high on heroin.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, okay, a little weird.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten
some of the poppies after harvesting, and they all walk
around in circles.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
They all walk around in circles.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Tasmanian Alkaloids Field Operations manager Rick Rockliff said.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Ooh, Rick rocklift cool.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
That's a good named, A good I am, Rick Rockliff.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Others in the local poppy industry could not be reached
for comment. Yeah, Tasmania supplies about fifty percent of the
world's raw material for morphine and related opiates. And it
is crazy because it's like right when you we took
I went to Tasmania once I worked there. I taught
improv for two weeks and uh, right when you we
(17:08):
took the bus or not the bus, the boat, the
water bus, the boat. We took a boat from Melbourne bus. Uh,
and it's like overnight and it's delightful. It's like nine
homers or something. But then you land and you you
you can put your car on the on the boat
and then you just start driving and you immediately just
drive through I don't know, like in a full hour
(17:29):
of nothing.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
But poppy fields, it's just goes on forever.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Uh, And it's really really crazy, and it's like super
high security because obviously people can make caroin out of it.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
But yeah, wait when you taught your workshop where the
students all walking in circles, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
They were, Well, I was giving them heroin too.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
That was how we did quote the funniest drugs makes
everybody so fun and high energy and great.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I don't think anything makes me happier than stories about
animals doing drugs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I know same, especially if they just walk in circles,
pass out, and then they're fine. We've done a few
stories about that, and I think the strangest thing is
repeatedly animals have the same addiction rates as humans. Like
the monkeys are steal drinks, it's the same percentage that
love it and become alcoholics, that drink it occasionally and
(18:28):
then drink it once and hate it, And same with
drugs with a lot of mammals. They like, some keep
going back for more, some do it once and don't
leg it all, and then some are like, eh, it's Thursday,
I'll do some heroin. It's weird. It's very similar.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
So Jane, you've known me for a very long time.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
It's just true.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
My god, probably since like nineteen ninety nine or something,
I think. So, so you remember my Australian girlfriend. Oh yeah,
So when we there, when we were in Tasmania, after
we finished teaching, we went to stay on like a
small in a small coastal town. And in Tasmania, a
small coastal town means it's very small. And this like
(19:13):
place was essentially in the middle of nowhere, and in
town there was one pharmacy and that was it, and
it was a one room pharmacy. It just stood by
itself on like a lonely road and anything you needed
you had to go to this one place. And so
we were like, we needed condoms, and so we go
in and it's like, you know, normally buying condoms at
(19:37):
a pharmacy, it's like slightly embarrassing, but when it's the
when it's like a six foot by six foot square
room and it's just one fourteen year old girl working
behind the counter and then you have to like come
up with your the two of us come up with
our condoms and that's it. Just buying condoms and it's
just like yeah, slightly awkward, you know, And then we
(19:58):
go back, and then the next day we returned.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Before a pregnancy kit.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh my good.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
And then then we yeah, so then we bought the
one pregnancy kit again, same girl in the six foot
by six foot place, and then we leave, and then
the next day she had had a doctor's appointment the
next day and got a prescription, so then we show
up the very next day to pick up antidepressants. So
(20:36):
it looks like we were like worried about having a kid.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Oh no, had a kid, now are depressed about having
a kid.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And it was all just the same fourteen year old
girl like giving us all those different things. And it
just struck me like if you lived in that town,
everyone would know everything about you, even if you just
made one stop at the at the pharmacy that day.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
It sounds like that's performance art.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
It sounds like that was a night I know, for her,
specifically for her, and I didn't realize it until like
after we had bought the third thing that third day,
and I was like, this, definitely, this definitely seems strange
to this woman at this point, but.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
That has to keep happening in that town. Like you
guys were just that couple. Those couples were coming in
if that was the only business in town selling that stuff,
they were probably very used to, like day after day
watching people's health and issues reveal themselves. Yeah, that person
could be the best novelists in Tasmania. Right now. We
just don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
We just do not know.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
She probably blew her talent on opium.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
M she's just walking around that pharmacy, just can't slow
down to grab the door, just circle after circle. Oh sorry,
go ahead, Jay, I was.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Just gonna say, curtain. Didn't you call it a pregnancy kit?
Speaker 4 (21:58):
You old pregnancy kit? I mean, did see test?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
That's how you're trying to get pregnant. Maybe shouldn't have
used the condoms the day before, the old kid.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
It's got a little tin can full of a little tuna.
It's got a little wine glass, it's got a coal
miner's hat with a little lantern on the front. You
just gotta get in there see if she's preggers or not.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
That's right, you need you need the tuna for energy.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
When I was a kid, when we were kids, pharmacists
were like I had friends whose parents were pharmacists, and
they were like my richest friends pharmacies. I think had
really are The job of being a pharmacist in the
United States has really come down talk about like capitalism
being a cult. But I remember like one friend who's
had the biggest house when she would have birthday parties,
she had a tennis court, she had a pool. The
(22:47):
neighbors had statues, like like Roman and Greek looking statues
in their backyards, and I used to always be like,
why would you want statues in your backyard? To me,
was so horror Fine, it's like, let's put the scariest
thing we can bright white statues of nameless people in
the backyard facing each other in the house. But now
(23:10):
it feels like pharmacists or I don't know, maybe the internet.
Maybe the Internet was a mistake. Maybe you're taken that
job way too.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
I do know why they were in the backyard, Scottie, Oh,
because on my block there's a house that has them
in the front yard, and that's far more upseting. Just concrete,
white concrete replicas of like a discus thrower that stands
seven feet tall just in someone's front yard is the
(23:40):
fucking crazy.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
It's creepy. There's something it's like a little it's a
little get out. There's something a little get out about
that you know of have it? Yeah? Yeah, frozen humans
trapped forever on your lawn?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes, because then what would be inside the house if
they feel like that's totally okay outside of the house.
How dark does their waken mine become as soon as
you cross that threshold? Robably pretty dark.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And you grew up in the south, right, Jane.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
I did. Yeah, I grew up in North Carolina. Not
a lot of uh, not a lot of yard sculpture.
So fountains, decorative fountains, yes, columns for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Jeff a fake deer? Did you have some fake bears?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
No?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
I think that was considered ghosh, do.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You remember this was something we had where I grew up,
where they would it would be like a shiny ball,
a colored ball on like a bird feeder stand, but
then a shiny ball. I don't know what those called.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
I I've seen a lot of them.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
Do they attract birds? Disco birds?
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I can't imagine, because it almost would be like upsetting.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
To look so. Yeah, it's like a bass sort of
like a bird bath, only take the bath part away
and then put a soccer ball or basketball side shiny
Christmas ornament looking bulb on the top, and that's it, don't.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
It's like it's like a mirror surface that's also like blue, red, green,
yellow is also inside there, God like shimmers in a weird.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Thank god, you know what I'm talking about, because it
seems like, no, it sounds sounds like you made it up.
Poppy fields. Yeah, it's like I chugged four Jolt colas
and just had to come up with something. But I
know what the name of that thing is. They must
be like wish makers or dream scatterers or had to
(25:31):
be something where you'd like, go look at it, like
you're just gazing into a crystal ball to see your
beautiful yard and your face that looks like a wallaby
in a in a round surface.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Oh my god, you guys, you know what it's called.
It's called it's called a gazing ball, the.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Old Grandma's gazing ball.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
We're so crab see your future.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Oh my god, you can get there. Some of them
are gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
They are fans.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
It's Trademark Innovations Gazing mirror ball, stainless steel and it's
just a giant ball and it like reflects the yard.
I think that's the idea. And it reflects the beauty
of your yard. It's so important to get a good
look at your yard. Not look directly at your yard,
just to gaze into a magenta or light blue orb.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And does it make your yard look bigger?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
It does? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's like a super wide angle lens. It's like your
yard is in a Beastie Boys video from that.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
If any of you currently have a gazing ball, send
us tag us in your stories. We would love to
share your gazing balls with all the other than animals.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Yeah yeah, tag it, tag it. Gaze into my ball.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yep. Oh, here's what for you're reaching the darkness? Sent
this to us. Missing Oklahoma teen slept in the toilet
paper fort inside of a Walmart for days before returning home.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Oh yes, yes, good case too.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
What innovator? I know, innovator? How does how is the
fort made? How do you make a ford out of
toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Correctly?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Question?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
You just build walls with the packaging, that's right. This
was in the Mirror USA Boo written by Rihanna Smith. Yay, yay,
best in the biz. The frantic search for a missing
Oklahoma team came to a baffling end when he revealed
he had been hiding out in a toilet paper fort
in a Walmart. Christopher Dunham, sixteen, was reported missing on
(27:38):
Sunday by his grandparents after he disappeared from their home
in Grove. I guess that's Grove, Oklahoma. Police had asked
for the public's assistance in finding him, but the case
took an unexpected turn Tuesday night when the teenager returned
after police officers had executed a search warrant on his
parents house. I think there's an alleged thing where the
grandparents were not the best people. Grove Police Chief Mark
(28:04):
Morris believes Christopher had been watching a police presence around
his home and that's why he stayed at the Walmart.
He when the last officer left, he attempted to sneak
back into the house. That's when his grandfather found him. Yeah.
Usually if you're in a house and somebody sneaks in,
you do find them there. And he took the team
to the Grove Police department to explain the officers where
(28:26):
he had been. Christopher said he had been camping in
Walmart for a few days, explaining that he'd wait until
after hours and then build a toilet paper fort over
a dog bed and slept in it. Wow, So he'd
grab one of those big old Walmart dog beds and
big olds, twenty four rolls of toilet paper and just
build a little, a little warm, little huts shoe.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I mean like, also he would wait until after hours?
Where is he waiting until after Like? How do you
wait out the people who close up a Walmart?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Right?
Speaker 5 (28:58):
There's only so many old spin doctor CDs you can
flip through.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
True, not enough, I'd say they they cut short in
their prime, but declining sales and lack of audience.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
You know, I spin doctors and soup dragons.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I always get to those.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
They were Australian. I think I'm sure they were divine.
Thing was their song? I have believe exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Oh my god, your memory is It's insane.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
This is the most bizarre case in my law enforcement career,
said Morris. Well, that just says a lot about Grove, Oklahoma.
This isn't that crazy. This is just a teenager kind
of running away and sleeping in a Walmart.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
It's a typical teenage behavior to run away.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I'm a little envious. I didn't think of this, but
Walmart wasn't that big of a deal growing up. He
spent one night in the state park. I had friends
that slept out of doors in high school, and other
nights he spent inside the Walmart. Chief Morris at it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I would wonder also, I hope he writes a children's
book about sleeping at the Walmart, along the lines of
those kids who like snuck into the museum and stayed
at the museum.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, the tissue castle. Yeah, that'd be so fun. Tissue castle,
White Mares. There was a thing. Do you guys remember
this when I was in college. This was certainly before
e commerce or Amazon, where people.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Hated for e commerce.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, they hated Walmart so much. And I worked at
a bike co op and some of the kids were
kind of like gnarly, like punk wannabes, and their thing
is they would just fill up shopping carts full to
the brim for hours in a Walmart and then just
abandoned them and leave. That was something that they did
as like an few to Walmart.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, because they definitely the CEO felt that, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, that's why I never joined. But then The other
thing is they would go to Walmart parking lot and
put bumper stickers on all the Mercedes and Porsches and
basically all the hiring cars, and they they would print
them and the best one was a woman in a
truck is a beautiful thing. And I always thought that
(31:13):
that phrasing was a woman in a truck is a
beautiful thing. And they would just stick them on every
high end car in the Walmart parking lot. And that
was their little protest.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
That'd say, that's such a weird thing.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
They wanted. They knew they had to hate Walmart, and
so yeah, they screwed the employees and then just annoyed
people by putting bumper stickers on their cars.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Yeah, college, where are these people today.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Probably running Walmart and Amazon. They probably did the full
pivot and are now pure capitalists. Like deep down, they
wanted it so bad.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
They just didn't know that's right. They were flirting with Walmart.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, I I mean, I can't even tell you the
last time I was in a Walmart. But every time
tim I go, I fall for it and buy so
much stuff. Oh yeah, Target from Target, give me a break.
Speaker 5 (32:08):
Yeah, I'm trying to u teach my kid to be
a good little anti capitalist. But she loves Target.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Oh she loves it course.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh yeah, it's a delight.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
It's a delight.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I love it now.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I love going into a Target and.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
I have food. I mean that's where that kid should
camp out.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Yeah, you could just eat all night.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
There's Starbucks, Walmart tough food too.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
I think that's a is that a super Walmart?
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Here, I am betraying my ignorance of Walmart guys.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
And also, you can camp in a Walmart parking lot
and they will not kick you out.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
That is which is actually pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Smart for if they allow you, or camper some places
called camper, you can go and park in a Walmart
parking lot overnight. They do not care at all. And
I think the idea is in the morning, everybody gets up,
they go pee, they get coffee at Walmart, they buy
the supplies they need for their camper, and they push off.
I did it in twenty twenty when I read an
(33:08):
RV and I slept two nights in a Walmart parking
lot yep.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And I think a lot of van lifers they do.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
They do that.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
They sleep in Walmart parking lots. Pretty often interesting. Yeah,
they do do one nice thing great. Also, it does
seem it does seem like a simpler time when Walmart
was the big enemy.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
That's what I'm saying is there was a time before
e commerce where you were like, they're the number one
evil empire, and now you're like, yeah, go to Walmart
by a cooler.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
Now they're just one of many.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
It's exactly. It's just like, yeah, they're just yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
There's still they're still yeah. Yeah. I will say though,
my daughter one time saw me reading an article that
had elon musk and babies in the title and asked
me what it was about, and I explained pro natalism.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
To her, and then she goes, I don't understand pro natalis.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
So this whole movement, uh, it's gaining a lot of
traction in the far right.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Oh of having lots of kids, having.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
Lots of babies because the bugbear of like, oh, who's
gonna support social security when if there's no workers in
the younger generations to support you know, but of course
immigration usually takes care of that, and anyway, we could
be problem solving other ways to fund social security instead
(34:34):
of just having more babies. But at any rate. She
she asked me what was about, and I explained it
to her, and she goes, he probably just wants you
to have more babies so there's more people to buy
his stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Ye, she gets it, she gets it.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
She's note the proudest, proudest moment of my life, Prouder
even than when she won the Crazy Costume Award at gymnastics.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I knew it was over as a young man when
they had Wii Box, when they made little Rebox for kids,
and I was like, who would buy tennis shoes for
their children? And then every single person in my life
has Air Jordan's for their you know, six month old,
And you're like, oh, I'm an idiot. I didn't see
this coming. I don't understand how deep this goes.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, yeah, that's how I feel about almost everything in
the world's I did not anticipate this, and that is
why I like this shit. I like strange news because
I'm like, I'm looking to not anticipate it, whereas everything else,
I'm just like, who knew post Malone is popular? Okay,
(35:45):
who knew?
Speaker 5 (35:46):
It's hard to be surprised anymore about you guys do it?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
You do it for us we love it. We can't
get enough of it. The dumber gets, the happier we get.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Here's a delightful one to take us off into. Some
thumbs up.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Oh yeah, boy thirteen arrested at hospital for impersonating a
doctor after turning up wearing scrubs and fake id went
the distance.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, here's the thumbs ups. Anthony WP wants a thumb
himself and his team. I think you mean to support
team for beating cancer after four year battle. He also
during that time lost a long term relationship, lost his mother,
and his brother got the same type of cancer. Anthony
just got stable. Results is officially in remish his word,
(36:35):
not mine. Nice. And he stole Kurt's mantra and got
a tattoo that reads this is temporary Kurt. I saw
that one. Yes, he says, Kurt makes me want to
be a funnier fucker, which is nice. And in ten days,
which I think is a month or two ago, now
Anthony married the finest human ever and gets to spend
the rest of their temporary lives together.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Ums. That's Anthony, and it's such a good It's a
version that you talked about because I said I was
going to get this tattoo. This is temporary, and Scotty said, oh,
you should get it like it's fading out a little bit.
And he got it kind of almost like a stamp
that's like rubbing off, but it's his entire or entire
(37:19):
lower arm.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
It's it's huge.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
It's like, oh, man, that's better.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Than I would have done. I would have gotten it small,
and I still might. I still might do it.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I think you should.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Oh. And also, folks, by the way, speaking of this,
we are working on Banana's Fest two.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
Whoa, whoa, It's it's coming again. It will be in
Denver again.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Won't can't give anything else away, but hopefully we will
have many tattoo artists on hand to give out tattoos
for you.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Chelsea wants to thumb up her fiance Becky. They might
be married by now. She loves bananas. She calls us
her buddies, and Chelsea says thank you for keeping Becky
company on her commute and keeping her saying as she
pursues her graduate degree in Library and Information sciences. And
she also says, come to Cleveland. Well, Kurt's gonna be
in Cincinnati. You can go see Kurt. Yeah, that's different.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
I love Cleveland. It's such a fun place to perform.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
We'll do bananas in Ohio at some point, maybe this year.
We got a lot of people in Ohio. I ran
the numbers. There's a lot of people in Ohio. So
we'll do a city there for sure.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Oh maybe when we go back to Chicago in September.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Sounds fun to me. Yeah, Cincinnati's not too far away.
This is a nice one. See, the three of us
are all writers, so this is a great one to do.
On this episode, Amanda's thumbing herself way up. She's super proud.
She's been working for nine and a half years as
a drone technician and has been delivering thankless uncredited work.
(38:48):
But recently Amanda was named a co author on an
article in the Journal of Science and the papers and
the peer review process, but when it is published, Amanda
is going to frame it. So she finally got ignowed
for all her tireless work.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Isn't that awesome in the legit science of science?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Thank you and congratulations to Amanda. And last but not least, hmmm,
I got a lot of them here. How about this one?
This one's nice. Pamela wants to thumb her dad up.
Her dad, Oh, nameless dad. By the way, didn't name
the dad, but that's great. Dads don't need a name.
Dad is enough. Pamela wants a thumb her dad up.
(39:27):
He has donated over twenty gallons of blood in the
last forty years. God, Pamela needed a blood transfusion as
a little kid to save her life and ever since,
her dad started donating every fifty eight days and has
never stopped. Gallons of donated blood. Thumbs up to Pamela's
nameless dad, A true selfless dude. That's such a Banana
(39:50):
the week. Yeah, Banana the week.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Congratulations, that's such a dude.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
Way to do it too, every fifty eight days on
the dot for an entire life. That's that's masculinity done right.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's yeah right. Also, I don't think you'll have any
microplastics in them. Apparently when you donate blood it lowers
the amount of microplastics in your system. Is so Pamela's
dad might just be free flowing old that.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
It's smart.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
And of course we are here with the wonderful Jane
Board and you can get her book. Cults like us,
How doomsday thinking something America?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (40:25):
Why doomsday thinking drives America?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
You can get it right, you can get it in
March everywhere, March twenty five, March twenty fifth, Thank you
for the date.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
And how is How did it come about?
Speaker 5 (40:38):
I mean, I've always been interested in this stuff. I
was a religious studies major in college and I had
been writing about Colts for Vanity Fair and one day I,
just because I'd been doing so much research on it,
I started noticing all the patterns right of the thinking
behind these groups and the indoctrination. And then I started
(41:00):
seeing it everywhere in American culture, and I was like,
this is you know, it's a global phenomenon. Obviously it's
a human phenomenon cults, but there's something specifically American about it.
And then one day I was just like, oh my god,
the Puritans were a cult. No one talks about that,
but they.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Were yeah, that's and I love it.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
And then so does it have Is it purely journalism
or is there a memoir aspect to it as well?
Speaker 5 (41:30):
I mean I show up in there every now and then,
but it's mostly you know, it's mostly research and argument
and a lot of jokes because I can't help myself. Also,
it's like a dark topic. You gotta make it, you know,
it's it flows, it's.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
It's voicy, easy to read, it's easy to read.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
Yeah, yeah, it's not. It's not dense at all. But
improv comedy shows up on page five.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah, oh my god, that's such a good It's so true.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
It's very culty, very cultisy especially.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
I mean we we came up with the cultiest of
the cult.
Speaker 5 (42:06):
Yes, yeah, we literally like revered a bearded white dude.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
It was framed on the wall.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
And so for those of you, like I met Jane
going at Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in like the late nineties,
and it was one hundred percent a cult.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It was one.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
It was you were it was people paying to take classes,
then people performing for free, and then the audience was
the people who were paying to take classes to pay
to watch other students who were paying class to take
classes perform improv comedy, which seventy five percent of the
time was horrible. It was like fast that it was.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
I was like, this is a money this is a
money making is a genius move.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
To like have this and then and yet I'd do
it again, and you would do it again, you would
do it?
Speaker 5 (42:59):
YEA love to? I love to. I actually come out
on the side of it not being a cult based
on a technicality is a technicality.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Because it doesn't make a lot of money because you
had to wet bankrupt.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
I mean that's not untrue.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Yeah, yeah they did.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
But the guy we were quote unquote worshiping was dead
first of all. But also I didn't I didn't feel
I didn't really feel that exploited.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
No, you're not exploited other than like performing for free.
Speaker 5 (43:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And I feel like the exploitation is
what makes it a cult, you know, or at least
that's the problem. That's the problematic part of it, right right.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Oh yeah, the community and sense of purpose is wonderful.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Yeah, well, you guys clearly craved a stage. I think
at some point it's like, hey, here's a place to
perform crazy he's here. You go hop around, make everybody laugh.
But then at some point, when you become skilled at
that thing, they should start paying you. But yeah, starting out,
it's like I just need a spotlight in a stage.
I just need to be somebody and learn something, And
it's so exciting and then at some point you're like,
(44:06):
so nothing, We're just going to do hours and hours
of this for audiences who were having a great time,
and then we don't get drink tickets.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
That was it always felt where it was just like
after and you would tat you would hit a ceiling
after like three or four years of it where you're like, okay,
and now what's the next thing, and they're like there
isn't this is it?
Speaker 4 (44:26):
This is like oh and then you have to get
out of it. Yeah, all right, you want to hear
about this boy?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Yeah, I love doing Yeah, I want to hear about
Doogie Bowserser.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
This was in.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Manchester Evening News, which is a classic. Lot of people
are reading it outside of Manchester.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Like us James all the time. Three times I.
Speaker 4 (44:50):
Wrote this, He's the best and the biz boy.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Thirteen arrested at hospital for impersonating a doctor after turning
up wearing scrubs and fake ID.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah that was a ChIL was arrested.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Yeah, let's say a teen A child was arrested by
police at a hospital following reports of a person impersonating
a doctor. Witness claimed the youngster attended the hospital in
the morning of January nineteenth, wearing scrubs and with a
fake ID. Police were called to Derryford Hospital in Plymouth
at around ten thirty am. It has not been confirmed
(45:23):
which part of the estate the youngster was on, so
to use youngster twice and not say teen is a
weird move. Nor whether he had access to patients or
medical records.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
They don't know and they have not found out.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Why would they.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Police have now confirmed officers attended the hospital and a
child was initially arrested, but later dealt with by means
of quote words of advice. That's nice on not dressing
up as a doctor at having a fake ID, and
no further action will be taken. A spokesman for a
spokesperson for the Devon and Cornwall Police said police were
(46:01):
called at ten thirty am just saying the exact same thing.
It's just been said. Officer's an attendant and arrested thirteen
year old boy. Boys de arrested and the matter has
since also that word I don't think exists in American
nady de arrested, de arrested, and I would like to
introduce it to America. If you arrest someone, you can
(46:23):
de arrest them. We now know because the UK does it.
They de arrest people, and I think we should be
able to do that. I feel like in America it's
like once you're arrested, it's like this thing kicks in
that is like an unstoppable behemoth.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
And I think we should be able to de arrest people.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah. Also, let's redefine impost syndrome. Like, I know, imposter
syndrome as we know it is like self doubt and
I don't belong here and I'm not good enough, and
like I'm in a career situation or a life situation
where I don't fit in. But what you're describing should
be what imposter syndrome is. It should be somebody that
loves to impersonate another job in career and goes all
(47:05):
the way in. That's a way more exciting way. The
other one is like, oh, this one's like, oh yeah,
this guy's in there. He was two doorsway surgery.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Think about how much guts it took at thirteen to
be like I'm gonna a fine scrubs, I'm gonna be
make a fake ID, and I'm gonna get into the
hospital and be a doctor.
Speaker 4 (47:25):
Why why what did he want?
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Because he's in the movie Catch Me if I if you.
Speaker 5 (47:31):
Yes, It's like this kid needs to be monitored. This
is like the the you know how like serial killers
torture animals as children. This is the first scam artists
to be following This sounds like a narcissist.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
I don't know. It's a baldness for sure. This is
a bold child. A lot of us at that age
were just like just trying not to get pushed over,
trying to fit in anywhere we could. This guy's like,
I'm going to the high spittle, I'm going to start
treating patients now. I like about it.
Speaker 4 (48:06):
I admire, I admire this kid.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Jane is concerned that he's a artist. I do have
that concern it as well. But I am still I am.
I am owed and wowed by the hutzpah of like,
I'm going to be a doctor today.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
And kids, he well, he.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Did did get away with it because he got to arrested,
didn't he.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
He got arrested, didn't he? Uh?
Speaker 5 (48:32):
Some kids his age are just camping out among toilet
paper and walmarts.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Oh, this guy's making things happen. He's wearing costumes.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
It's the difference between the UK and the US.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
If you could make a fake ID that was convincing,
is that what you would use it for?
Speaker 4 (48:50):
To be a doctor's the funniest thing. He doesn't want
to drink.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
He wants to cure people, or he wants to see
ladies naked.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Oh my god, it's so much to do when pornography
is literally everywhere.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
To go and pretend to be a doctor on the
hopes that you get into a gidological exam and no
one taps you out before you're like, let's check, let's
take a peek.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
Yeah, that's one way to do it.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
One way to do it.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
Scotty said this home with just a headline.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Hmmm, jump rope pro. Jump rope pro saves neighbor and
dog from a nice pond with his jump rope. That's
such a nice I mean, what a nice way to
go out. It took twists and turns, but at the
end of the day, this is a person who used
their jump rope and pulled out a neighbor and a
(49:52):
dog from a frozen pond. Beautiful. There's hope. There's always hope.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
And I love a word like jump rope because it
really does just describe is what it is exactly.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
The what it is and what it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Tiddleywinks. This is jump rope. This is here we are
How does it work? Jump rope? What is it?
Speaker 4 (50:18):
Jump rope?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
What do you do with it?
Speaker 4 (50:20):
Jump rope?
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Thank you? Jane. Can everybody find you?
Speaker 3 (50:26):
Where?
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Can they find your book? Where they can they pre
order all the good stuff?
Speaker 5 (50:30):
Yeah, I'm at I'm at janebordon dot com or I'm
on Instagram at Jane Borden and the book is available
for pre order everywhere until March twenty five. I'm going
to be doing events in La New York, North Carolina.
We'll see where else.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Cool.
Speaker 5 (50:48):
Yeah, I'm so happy to have been here. I love bananas.
You guys are the best longtime.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Enjoy very much. We're glad to have you, and good
luck and bananimals go out there. And Jane even recorded
her own book, So order cults like us and laugh
and laugh and laugh and enjoy and learn something because
this is, at the end of the day, an educational podcast.
Speaker 5 (51:11):
And catch one of Kurtz jokes secondhand.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
There you go, Bananas. Yeah, Bananas is an exactly right
media production.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia
Hartstart
Speaker 3 (51:47):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
Okay, Scotty ready, Kritty b I'm ready to laugh and
laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
It is.
Speaker 3 (00:06):
High as a kite. Wallabies blamed for crop circles.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Oh well, oh yep. You see. That's what I love
about the Bananas Podcast. You just never know what you're
gonna get.
Speaker 3 (00:20):
But you know it's gonna be for me, It's gonna
be some animals.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Damn right. Well, let's wilden out a little bit on
this episode of Bananas.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Don't World.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Would you believe.
Speaker 5 (00:38):
It's your mid cillion pieces?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Would you? Banana ba.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Banana banana guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to Bananas Hello, Landis.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
That's Kurt Brown all over there. How are you, buddy boy?
What's new? What's good?
Speaker 4 (01:06):
What's good?
Speaker 1 (01:06):
Well, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Maybe March twenty ninth, doing all the show in Phoenix, Arizona.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
I'll be there, stand up live. Come on, guys, come
on and.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
To anybody coming to Phoenix, Arizona to that show. That'll
be the first show after I've stopped my dry sixty nine.
And I think you're dry sixty nine ing too right,
you're currently not drinking? Uh oh, you broke it.
Speaker 4 (01:28):
I'm doing a year you're off all year. I'm off
all year.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Okay, Well in that case, Phoenix ban Animals, you're gonna
see me easily drunk off of two beverages and Kurt
keeping us on tron track, keeping it together because I
am going to be Looney Tunes. So come on out
and be bugs Bunny with us.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
And then I am doing shows in Asbury Park, New Jersey,
for Chicago, Fine Illinois, and Cincinnati, Ohio, May seventh, eighth,
and ninth.
Speaker 4 (02:03):
So please come see me. All the stuff is on
our instagram.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Go to the Bananas Podcast, or go to my Instagram,
or go to my website Kurtcomedy dot com or the
bananaspodcast dot com.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Fie with me. That was, Oh yeah, are you excited? Yeah,
let's get into it this. I have a feeling. I'll
let you do the intro. But based on what I
read about this book, I think the Murder Bananas are
going to be obsessed with this author.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
And I agree one percent it's a good choice. Our
guest today is an author, journalist, and editor. She is
a regular contributor to Vanity Fair, New York Times Magazine,
and The Washington Post, and her new book, Cults Like
Us will be published in March.
Speaker 4 (02:45):
Please welcome Jane Borden.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Hi, guys, yay, welcome.
Speaker 5 (02:52):
Welcome, Thanks for having me. Happy to be here.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
I didn't say the whole name of the book. Say
the whole name of the book.
Speaker 5 (02:59):
It's called like Us Why the Bananas podcast fans love
Curtain Scotty. No, it's called Cults Like Us? Why Doomsday
Thinking drives America?
Speaker 4 (03:12):
Oh awesome.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
I mean this is going to be this is right
up our listeners, alleys, this is going to be perfect
for them. I love it.
Speaker 5 (03:21):
Yeah, it's all about the Cult of America. I mean
we were we were founded by a cult. The Puritans
were high controlled doomsday group, and all their like wacky
ideas about the end of the world didn't go away.
They just became the foundation of American culture. So we're
(03:43):
all indoctrinated in ways we don't recognize. It's very true.
Speaker 4 (03:47):
Yeah, oh wow, So is it?
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Like so like the first chapter is about the Mayflower people. Yeah, okay, great,
and then what other cults do you get into?
Speaker 5 (03:58):
Well, so each chapter opens with a case study of
a group in history, and then like I highlight one
bit of cult like thinking and trace it through American
history from the Puritans up to today.
Speaker 4 (04:12):
Oh cool.
Speaker 5 (04:13):
Yeah, And I tried to focus on lesser known groups
just because you know. So one of my favorites is
was this group called Mankind United in the forties, and.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
It was this is a great and it sounds so fun.
Like if you were like, do you want to join
Mankind United, I'd actually know.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
It just sounds like a soccer team.
Speaker 3 (04:38):
I'm rooting for Mankind United at the match today and we.
Speaker 5 (04:43):
Sell for Yeah. It was it didn't start as a cult,
but but it was a thing you had to join.
It was a big scam. Ultimately, it was like a
conspiracy theory scam. But they this guy argued that there
was a secret group of hidden rulers who wanted to
exterminate or enslave all of humanity. Oh good, yeah, uh
(05:06):
huh that sounds familiar though, right.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
But then but but like you know, don't despair, because
there's also a secret group of white hat people called
the Sponsors. And you can we can unite as Mankind
and fight the bad guys if you give me all
your money.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Essentially, yeah, okay, now you're turning me on it. Now
you're interested.
Speaker 5 (05:30):
I could tell you, Yeah, some stuff I could.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Sell you do.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
All of them break down with like shadow, shadow organization
that we're fighting against, and you have to be on
the side of good.
Speaker 5 (05:42):
I mean every conspiracy theory, yeah for sure, which is
just and this is something I researched and write about.
But that's just the story of the Antichrist. Sure, uh huh,
just over and over and over again and painted in
a different way so people don't think. People don't see
the like radical Christianity in it, but it's very much
(06:03):
what it is. Like.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
So all of them are just like there is a
Satan out there. It has different names. Maybe it's called
you know, maybe they're lizard people, maybe they're the Maybe
there it's it's the uh, it's the people who meet
at that thing where they burn an owl in San
Francisco every year. You know, Like what are those people called?
(06:26):
The people who don't know the owl?
Speaker 4 (06:27):
The big owl?
Speaker 5 (06:29):
Were you there?
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Idea?
Speaker 4 (06:30):
But you guys don't know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
No, you got to look up Burning Owl cult. But
I would be into that. I think that sounds fun too.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
Sure, it's a bunch of billionaires who all get together.
Billionaires get together, the grown the yeah something grove.
Speaker 1 (06:49):
Oh, bohemian grove. Yes, bohemian growth.
Speaker 5 (06:53):
One of the funniest things about this project to me
is that people keep coming to me to talk about cults,
because that's I've been like researching this for five years. Yeah,
and they're always like, and you know about this with
such and such, and more often than not, I don't
just because there are so many Yeah, it's insane.
Speaker 4 (07:13):
Do you get into Amway at all?
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I do.
Speaker 5 (07:16):
I think big chapter on Amway because.
Speaker 3 (07:18):
I so my dad and my a lot of my
family is from Grand Rapids where Amway they have like
the spaceship Mother Building right in Ada, Michigan, which is
right outside of Grand Rapids, and it was legitimately like
at the end of my dad's street. So I would
just drive by it all the time. It's this big
circular like it looks like a spaceship and it's just
(07:40):
like sitting there and everyone they knew sold Amway and
was like involved in that cold.
Speaker 5 (07:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:49):
I So.
Speaker 5 (07:49):
The the main thrust of that chapter is that the
reason Amway is not illegal is because I mean, there's
a lot of specific examples like government collusion, you know
what I mean. But the main reason is because it's
not that different from modern American capitalism. Like modern I
(08:10):
believe and argue that capitalism today in America is an MLM, right, or.
Speaker 3 (08:15):
Because it doesn't seem to work for anybody but the
people at the.
Speaker 5 (08:19):
Top bingo banngo. Yeah. And in fact, Kurt, I think
you may have may have forgotten this. But at the
end of that chapter, I quote one of your jokes, what.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
You Do, which you found about ideating on ice cubes
and a journal.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Yep, that's right.
Speaker 5 (08:35):
I love that joke because the billionaires are the ice
cubes and we're all peeing on them, or at least
that's my dream.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (08:47):
No, I quote, Shoot, I forget the name of the track,
but it's off perfectly stupid. And I was recording my
audio book last week and said in the In the
recording of the audiobook, guy interjected to say, and Kurt,
I'm so sorry to be reciting one of your jokes,
because comics hate that more than anything.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
No, I don't really this guy, No, he loves it
once it's out there, once he's burned that material, bring
it back to life. As many times this poor guy
gets not credited with the how do I land skywriting it,
it pops up, it goes viral every six months, and
they rarely credit Kurt and think his fans that go,
(09:28):
that was Kurk Brown, Older, that was Kurk Brown. Yes,
it still makes me happy every single time time.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I still think accounts it's the craziest thing where it's
like if you run a meme account and you just
benefit off of other people's labor. If someone comments, just
put just at the person who did this and gives
you they're at like just I don't understand why they
can't simply do it, edit their posts and say like
this was done by this person.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
I don't understand it.
Speaker 3 (09:54):
Because that's all they do is steal, steal steel.
Speaker 4 (09:56):
And make money. And they make money anyway the.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
Pretend because with they admit they're stealing, then it's.
Speaker 3 (10:02):
Stealing, right Yeah, and back to the things, and that's.
Speaker 5 (10:08):
Just exactly what we've been talking about with MLM and
the government. And you're peeing on ice cubes joke for those.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
That such an old joke. Know, if it's on any album,
it is no.
Speaker 5 (10:23):
I think for my next book, I'm just gonna quote
Kurt's old material.
Speaker 4 (10:29):
For those of you who are like, well, what's the joke.
Speaker 3 (10:31):
Here's the quick version of the joke is uh is
like I love I would be like I love it
when bars put ice in their urinals.
Speaker 4 (10:40):
And if people don't know this, sometimes bars have ice
in the urinals.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
And I love that because then I can pretend that
my penis is a giant laser and I'm destroying igloos
from outer space.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah, I loved when you said that joke. It's great. Also,
I was working in a restaurant at that time, and
on Friday and Saturday nights we would dump a bucket
of ice and all the urinals to use less. And
it is a true joy. It is a true joy.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
Yeah, I'm jealous.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
But so the Puritans there are a bunch of whimps, right,
Like the whole idea was the Puritans were like, we
gotta leave England because everybody's becoming too Catholic. And then
they get on wooden boats and just flee. Like to
me that all the Puritans were just not cool enough
or savvy enough to like flip it over in England,
(11:26):
so they just ran as far away as they could.
Speaker 4 (11:30):
That's a lot of it.
Speaker 5 (11:31):
They were like the losers who didn't get invited to
the party. Yeah, well we're gonna throw our own party
and God's gonna be there.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah, and it's gonna be a party where nobody has
sex and nobody drinks.
Speaker 4 (11:42):
It's the coolest party you've ever been to.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
We're gonna we're gonna be up all night, no dancing. Oh.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
I really didn't realize how much that Puritan thing affected
being American until I dated it an Australian and she
and she keet being like, look, we never had the Puritans,
so I don't give a shit about that, Like, you know,
like it's just so much freer. Sex is more free.
(12:11):
It's like they're very it's much less of a shame
based culture.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Yeah, and it's and it's it is, it's all just
based on that.
Speaker 3 (12:19):
That's crazy, which is like you think that you're immune
from history. Often, you know, you feel like, well, I exist,
you know, as an independent thinking thing, and then you're like, no, no, no,
I am definitively in a stream of an American identity.
Even if I if I don't love what America does,
I'm still the most American brains.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:41):
Worse, it's so deep inside us that we can't see it.
It's it's like you know, fish that don't know water.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
Yeah, and it's so culty like.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
It's not just like people say Puritan. And that's I
guess the specific example of the the cult that were
it's a cult.
Speaker 1 (13:02):
The Puritans were.
Speaker 5 (13:03):
I mean they were a high control doomsday group. They were.
It was all about power and control. The second and
third generations of like kids who were born into it
were so messed up. The scholars who've poured through diary
entries there was like a huge uptick in depression, psychosis, suicide,
(13:24):
which is what always happens to kids born in cults.
I mean, there's so many examples. I could go on
and on, but we don't not only do we not
recognize our Puritan roots, but we don't recognize how incredibly
screwed up they were as a group.
Speaker 1 (13:38):
This is great.
Speaker 4 (13:38):
I'm exciting.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
I'm very excited. No, I'm pumped. But let's shift gears
in the most dramatic way possible.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Kurt, Yeah, from Colts too, Wallabies.
Speaker 4 (13:49):
You know what, I had a lead in.
Speaker 3 (13:51):
I had a lead in because I dated an Australian.
This takes place in Tasmania.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Here, it is it's a.
Speaker 4 (13:58):
It's a delightful dumb one. This was sent in by
Jen Fox. Thank you Jen.
Speaker 3 (14:03):
If you want to send in your dumb weird news stories,
please them to DMS on our Instagram account, The Bananas Podcast.
Crea can email us at The Bananas Podcast at gmail
dot com. This was in NBC News.
Speaker 4 (14:17):
That's real yeah, and it was written by the Associated Press.
Nobody wanted today.
Speaker 3 (14:26):
The Associated Press really does it like individualism. It's just
always just the press here. It is high as a kite.
Wallaby's blamed for crop circles. Okay, Wallaby's snacking in Tasmania's
legally grown opium poppy fields are getting high as a
kite and hopping around in circles, trampling the crops, the
(14:46):
state officials said. Tasmania Attorney General Laura Gettings told a
budget hearing Wednesday that she recently read about the kangaroo
like marsupials, antics and a brief on the state's large
poppy industry. Tasmania is the world's largest producer of legally
grown opium for the pharmaceutical market.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Did anybody know that?
Speaker 1 (15:08):
No other than me?
Speaker 3 (15:10):
Also in Case podcast, it's an educational podcast. In Case
you're wondering what a wallaby is. It looks exactly like
a kangaroo, except it's about like two feet tall as
opposed to a kangaroo, which is like the size of
a deer.
Speaker 5 (15:25):
It's a less threatening kangaroo.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
It's a less threatening, a more adorable kangaroo.
Speaker 1 (15:30):
Like Roco's Modern Life. Everybody loved that cartoon at some point.
Speaker 4 (15:33):
Oh my goodness, that's a wallaby.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
He's a wallaby.
Speaker 4 (15:37):
Roco the wallaby quote.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
We have a problem with wallaby's entering poppy fields, getting
as high as a kite and going around in circles.
The Mercury newspapers quoted Gettings as telling the hearing then
they crash. We see crop circles in the poppy industry
from wallabies that are high.
Speaker 4 (15:55):
She just summed up her statement.
Speaker 3 (15:56):
I love it.
Speaker 4 (15:58):
Calls to Getting's office.
Speaker 3 (15:59):
We're not a mediately returned Thursday, and the Associated Press
was unable to obtain a copy of the brief. She
cited a manager for one of two Tasmanian companies licensed
to take medicinal products from poppy. Straw told the newspaper
that wildlife and livestock, including deer and sheep, that eat
the poppies are known to quote act weird.
Speaker 4 (16:19):
Yeah, they're high on heroin.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
Yeah, okay, a little weird.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
There have been many stories about sheep that have eaten
some of the poppies after harvesting, and they all walk
around in circles.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
They all walk around in circles.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:33):
Tasmanian Alkaloids Field Operations manager Rick Rockliff said.
Speaker 1 (16:38):
Ooh, Rick rocklift cool.
Speaker 4 (16:40):
That's a good named, A good I am, Rick Rockliff.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Others in the local poppy industry could not be reached
for comment. Yeah, Tasmania supplies about fifty percent of the
world's raw material for morphine and related opiates. And it
is crazy because it's like right when you we took
I went to Tasmania once I worked there. I taught
improv for two weeks and uh, right when you we
(17:08):
took the bus or not the bus, the boat, the
water bus, the boat. We took a boat from Melbourne bus. Uh,
and it's like overnight and it's delightful. It's like nine
homers or something. But then you land and you you
you can put your car on the on the boat
and then you just start driving and you immediately just
drive through I don't know, like in a full hour
(17:29):
of nothing.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
But poppy fields, it's just goes on forever.
Speaker 3 (17:35):
Uh, And it's really really crazy, and it's like super
high security because obviously people can make caroin out of it.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
But yeah, wait when you taught your workshop where the
students all walking in circles, yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
They were, Well, I was giving them heroin too.
Speaker 1 (17:51):
That was how we did quote the funniest drugs makes
everybody so fun and high energy and great.
Speaker 5 (18:01):
I don't think anything makes me happier than stories about
animals doing drugs.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
I know same, especially if they just walk in circles,
pass out, and then they're fine. We've done a few
stories about that, and I think the strangest thing is
repeatedly animals have the same addiction rates as humans. Like
the monkeys are steal drinks, it's the same percentage that
love it and become alcoholics, that drink it occasionally and
(18:28):
then drink it once and hate it, And same with
drugs with a lot of mammals. They like, some keep
going back for more, some do it once and don't
leg it all, and then some are like, eh, it's Thursday,
I'll do some heroin. It's weird. It's very similar.
Speaker 4 (18:45):
So Jane, you've known me for a very long time.
Speaker 5 (18:48):
It's just true.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
My god, probably since like nineteen ninety nine or something,
I think. So, so you remember my Australian girlfriend. Oh yeah,
So when we there, when we were in Tasmania, after
we finished teaching, we went to stay on like a
small in a small coastal town. And in Tasmania, a
small coastal town means it's very small. And this like
(19:13):
place was essentially in the middle of nowhere, and in
town there was one pharmacy and that was it, and
it was a one room pharmacy. It just stood by
itself on like a lonely road and anything you needed
you had to go to this one place. And so
we were like, we needed condoms, and so we go
in and it's like, you know, normally buying condoms at
(19:37):
a pharmacy, it's like slightly embarrassing, but when it's the
when it's like a six foot by six foot square
room and it's just one fourteen year old girl working
behind the counter and then you have to like come
up with your the two of us come up with
our condoms and that's it. Just buying condoms and it's
just like yeah, slightly awkward, you know, And then we
(19:58):
go back, and then the next day we returned.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Before a pregnancy kit.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
Oh my good.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
And then then we yeah, so then we bought the
one pregnancy kit again, same girl in the six foot
by six foot place, and then we leave, and then
the next day she had had a doctor's appointment the
next day and got a prescription, so then we show
up the very next day to pick up antidepressants. So
(20:36):
it looks like we were like worried about having a kid.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Oh no, had a kid, now are depressed about having
a kid.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
And it was all just the same fourteen year old
girl like giving us all those different things. And it
just struck me like if you lived in that town,
everyone would know everything about you, even if you just
made one stop at the at the pharmacy that day.
Speaker 5 (20:57):
It sounds like that's performance art.
Speaker 3 (20:58):
It sounds like that was a night I know, for her,
specifically for her, and I didn't realize it until like
after we had bought the third thing that third day,
and I was like, this, definitely, this definitely seems strange
to this woman at this point, but.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
That has to keep happening in that town. Like you
guys were just that couple. Those couples were coming in
if that was the only business in town selling that stuff,
they were probably very used to, like day after day
watching people's health and issues reveal themselves. Yeah, that person
could be the best novelists in Tasmania. Right now. We
just don't know.
Speaker 4 (21:36):
We just do not know.
Speaker 5 (21:38):
She probably blew her talent on opium.
Speaker 1 (21:41):
M she's just walking around that pharmacy, just can't slow
down to grab the door, just circle after circle. Oh sorry,
go ahead, Jay, I was.
Speaker 5 (21:51):
Just gonna say, curtain. Didn't you call it a pregnancy kit?
Speaker 4 (21:58):
You old pregnancy kit? I mean, did see test?
Speaker 5 (22:01):
That's how you're trying to get pregnant. Maybe shouldn't have
used the condoms the day before, the old kid.
Speaker 1 (22:08):
It's got a little tin can full of a little tuna.
It's got a little wine glass, it's got a coal
miner's hat with a little lantern on the front. You
just gotta get in there see if she's preggers or not.
Speaker 5 (22:21):
That's right, you need you need the tuna for energy.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
When I was a kid, when we were kids, pharmacists
were like I had friends whose parents were pharmacists, and
they were like my richest friends pharmacies. I think had
really are The job of being a pharmacist in the
United States has really come down talk about like capitalism
being a cult. But I remember like one friend who's
had the biggest house when she would have birthday parties,
she had a tennis court, she had a pool. The
(22:47):
neighbors had statues, like like Roman and Greek looking statues
in their backyards, and I used to always be like,
why would you want statues in your backyard? To me,
was so horror Fine, it's like, let's put the scariest
thing we can bright white statues of nameless people in
the backyard facing each other in the house. But now
(23:10):
it feels like pharmacists or I don't know, maybe the internet.
Maybe the Internet was a mistake. Maybe you're taken that
job way too.
Speaker 3 (23:17):
I do know why they were in the backyard, Scottie, Oh,
because on my block there's a house that has them
in the front yard, and that's far more upseting. Just concrete,
white concrete replicas of like a discus thrower that stands
seven feet tall just in someone's front yard is the
(23:40):
fucking crazy.
Speaker 5 (23:41):
It's creepy. There's something it's like a little it's a
little get out. There's something a little get out about
that you know of have it? Yeah? Yeah, frozen humans
trapped forever on your lawn?
Speaker 1 (23:52):
Yes, because then what would be inside the house if
they feel like that's totally okay outside of the house.
How dark does their waken mine become as soon as
you cross that threshold? Robably pretty dark.
Speaker 4 (24:06):
And you grew up in the south, right, Jane.
Speaker 5 (24:08):
I did. Yeah, I grew up in North Carolina. Not
a lot of uh, not a lot of yard sculpture.
So fountains, decorative fountains, yes, columns for sure.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Jeff a fake deer? Did you have some fake bears?
Speaker 3 (24:25):
No?
Speaker 5 (24:25):
I think that was considered ghosh, do.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
You remember this was something we had where I grew up,
where they would it would be like a shiny ball,
a colored ball on like a bird feeder stand, but
then a shiny ball. I don't know what those called.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
I I've seen a lot of them.
Speaker 5 (24:44):
Do they attract birds? Disco birds?
Speaker 4 (24:46):
I can't imagine, because it almost would be like upsetting.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
To look so. Yeah, it's like a bass sort of
like a bird bath, only take the bath part away
and then put a soccer ball or basketball side shiny
Christmas ornament looking bulb on the top, and that's it, don't.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
It's like it's like a mirror surface that's also like blue, red, green,
yellow is also inside there, God like shimmers in a weird.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
Thank god, you know what I'm talking about, because it
seems like, no, it sounds sounds like you made it up.
Poppy fields. Yeah, it's like I chugged four Jolt colas
and just had to come up with something. But I
know what the name of that thing is. They must
be like wish makers or dream scatterers or had to
(25:31):
be something where you'd like, go look at it, like
you're just gazing into a crystal ball to see your
beautiful yard and your face that looks like a wallaby
in a in a round surface.
Speaker 3 (25:44):
Oh my god, you guys, you know what it's called.
It's called it's called a gazing ball, the.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Old Grandma's gazing ball.
Speaker 5 (25:53):
We're so crab see your future.
Speaker 1 (25:56):
Oh my god, you can get there. Some of them
are gorgeous.
Speaker 4 (26:01):
They are fans.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:03):
It's Trademark Innovations Gazing mirror ball, stainless steel and it's
just a giant ball and it like reflects the yard.
I think that's the idea. And it reflects the beauty
of your yard. It's so important to get a good
look at your yard. Not look directly at your yard,
just to gaze into a magenta or light blue orb.
Speaker 5 (26:25):
And does it make your yard look bigger?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
It does? Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:31):
It's like a super wide angle lens. It's like your
yard is in a Beastie Boys video from that.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
If any of you currently have a gazing ball, send
us tag us in your stories. We would love to
share your gazing balls with all the other than animals.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Yeah yeah, tag it, tag it. Gaze into my ball.
Speaker 1 (26:50):
Yep. Oh, here's what for you're reaching the darkness? Sent
this to us. Missing Oklahoma teen slept in the toilet
paper fort inside of a Walmart for days before returning home.
Speaker 4 (27:04):
Oh yes, yes, good case too.
Speaker 5 (27:09):
What innovator? I know, innovator? How does how is the
fort made? How do you make a ford out of
toilet paper?
Speaker 1 (27:16):
Correctly?
Speaker 3 (27:16):
Question?
Speaker 1 (27:17):
You just build walls with the packaging, that's right. This
was in the Mirror USA Boo written by Rihanna Smith. Yay, yay,
best in the biz. The frantic search for a missing
Oklahoma team came to a baffling end when he revealed
he had been hiding out in a toilet paper fort
in a Walmart. Christopher Dunham, sixteen, was reported missing on
(27:38):
Sunday by his grandparents after he disappeared from their home
in Grove. I guess that's Grove, Oklahoma. Police had asked
for the public's assistance in finding him, but the case
took an unexpected turn Tuesday night when the teenager returned
after police officers had executed a search warrant on his
parents house. I think there's an alleged thing where the
grandparents were not the best people. Grove Police Chief Mark
(28:04):
Morris believes Christopher had been watching a police presence around
his home and that's why he stayed at the Walmart.
He when the last officer left, he attempted to sneak
back into the house. That's when his grandfather found him. Yeah.
Usually if you're in a house and somebody sneaks in,
you do find them there. And he took the team
to the Grove Police department to explain the officers where
(28:26):
he had been. Christopher said he had been camping in
Walmart for a few days, explaining that he'd wait until
after hours and then build a toilet paper fort over
a dog bed and slept in it. Wow, So he'd
grab one of those big old Walmart dog beds and
big olds, twenty four rolls of toilet paper and just
build a little, a little warm, little huts shoe.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
I mean like, also he would wait until after hours?
Where is he waiting until after Like? How do you
wait out the people who close up a Walmart?
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Right?
Speaker 5 (28:58):
There's only so many old spin doctor CDs you can
flip through.
Speaker 1 (29:02):
True, not enough, I'd say they they cut short in
their prime, but declining sales and lack of audience.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
You know, I spin doctors and soup dragons.
Speaker 4 (29:14):
I always get to those.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
They were Australian. I think I'm sure they were divine.
Thing was their song? I have believe exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Oh my god, your memory is It's insane.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
This is the most bizarre case in my law enforcement career,
said Morris. Well, that just says a lot about Grove, Oklahoma.
This isn't that crazy. This is just a teenager kind
of running away and sleeping in a Walmart.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
It's a typical teenage behavior to run away.
Speaker 1 (29:44):
I'm a little envious. I didn't think of this, but
Walmart wasn't that big of a deal growing up. He
spent one night in the state park. I had friends
that slept out of doors in high school, and other
nights he spent inside the Walmart. Chief Morris at it.
Speaker 3 (30:00):
I would wonder also, I hope he writes a children's
book about sleeping at the Walmart, along the lines of
those kids who like snuck into the museum and stayed
at the museum.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
Yeah, the tissue castle. Yeah, that'd be so fun. Tissue castle,
White Mares. There was a thing. Do you guys remember
this when I was in college. This was certainly before
e commerce or Amazon, where people.
Speaker 4 (30:27):
Hated for e commerce.
Speaker 1 (30:29):
Yeah, they hated Walmart so much. And I worked at
a bike co op and some of the kids were
kind of like gnarly, like punk wannabes, and their thing
is they would just fill up shopping carts full to
the brim for hours in a Walmart and then just
abandoned them and leave. That was something that they did
as like an few to Walmart.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Yeah, because they definitely the CEO felt that, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Yeah, that's why I never joined. But then The other
thing is they would go to Walmart parking lot and
put bumper stickers on all the Mercedes and Porsches and
basically all the hiring cars, and they they would print
them and the best one was a woman in a
truck is a beautiful thing. And I always thought that
(31:13):
that phrasing was a woman in a truck is a
beautiful thing. And they would just stick them on every
high end car in the Walmart parking lot. And that
was their little protest.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
That'd say, that's such a weird thing.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
They wanted. They knew they had to hate Walmart, and
so yeah, they screwed the employees and then just annoyed
people by putting bumper stickers on their cars.
Speaker 5 (31:36):
Yeah, college, where are these people today.
Speaker 1 (31:40):
Probably running Walmart and Amazon. They probably did the full
pivot and are now pure capitalists. Like deep down, they
wanted it so bad.
Speaker 5 (31:50):
They just didn't know that's right. They were flirting with Walmart.
Speaker 1 (31:54):
Yeah, I I mean, I can't even tell you the
last time I was in a Walmart. But every time
tim I go, I fall for it and buy so
much stuff. Oh yeah, Target from Target, give me a break.
Speaker 5 (32:08):
Yeah, I'm trying to u teach my kid to be
a good little anti capitalist. But she loves Target.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
Oh she loves it course.
Speaker 1 (32:18):
Oh yeah, it's a delight.
Speaker 5 (32:19):
It's a delight.
Speaker 4 (32:21):
I love it now.
Speaker 1 (32:24):
I love going into a Target and.
Speaker 5 (32:25):
I have food. I mean that's where that kid should
camp out.
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Yeah, you could just eat all night.
Speaker 5 (32:32):
There's Starbucks, Walmart tough food too.
Speaker 4 (32:35):
I think that's a is that a super Walmart?
Speaker 5 (32:37):
Here, I am betraying my ignorance of Walmart guys.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
And also, you can camp in a Walmart parking lot
and they will not kick you out.
Speaker 4 (32:45):
That is which is actually pretty cool.
Speaker 1 (32:47):
Smart for if they allow you, or camper some places
called camper, you can go and park in a Walmart
parking lot overnight. They do not care at all. And
I think the idea is in the morning, everybody gets up,
they go pee, they get coffee at Walmart, they buy
the supplies they need for their camper, and they push off.
I did it in twenty twenty when I read an
(33:08):
RV and I slept two nights in a Walmart parking
lot yep.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
And I think a lot of van lifers they do.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
They do that.
Speaker 3 (33:15):
They sleep in Walmart parking lots. Pretty often interesting. Yeah,
they do do one nice thing great. Also, it does
seem it does seem like a simpler time when Walmart
was the big enemy.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
That's what I'm saying is there was a time before
e commerce where you were like, they're the number one
evil empire, and now you're like, yeah, go to Walmart
by a cooler.
Speaker 5 (33:37):
Now they're just one of many.
Speaker 4 (33:38):
It's exactly. It's just like, yeah, they're just yeah, exactly.
Speaker 5 (33:42):
There's still they're still yeah. Yeah. I will say though,
my daughter one time saw me reading an article that
had elon musk and babies in the title and asked
me what it was about, and I explained pro natalism.
Speaker 3 (33:58):
To her, and then she goes, I don't understand pro natalis.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
So this whole movement, uh, it's gaining a lot of
traction in the far right.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
Oh of having lots of kids, having.
Speaker 5 (34:11):
Lots of babies because the bugbear of like, oh, who's
gonna support social security when if there's no workers in
the younger generations to support you know, but of course
immigration usually takes care of that, and anyway, we could
be problem solving other ways to fund social security instead
(34:34):
of just having more babies. But at any rate. She
she asked me what was about, and I explained it
to her, and she goes, he probably just wants you
to have more babies so there's more people to buy
his stuff.
Speaker 1 (34:45):
Ye, she gets it, she gets it.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
She's note the proudest, proudest moment of my life, Prouder
even than when she won the Crazy Costume Award at gymnastics.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
I knew it was over as a young man when
they had Wii Box, when they made little Rebox for kids,
and I was like, who would buy tennis shoes for
their children? And then every single person in my life
has Air Jordan's for their you know, six month old,
And you're like, oh, I'm an idiot. I didn't see
this coming. I don't understand how deep this goes.
Speaker 3 (35:21):
Yeah, yeah, that's how I feel about almost everything in
the world's I did not anticipate this, and that is
why I like this shit. I like strange news because
I'm like, I'm looking to not anticipate it, whereas everything else,
I'm just like, who knew post Malone is popular? Okay,
(35:45):
who knew?
Speaker 5 (35:46):
It's hard to be surprised anymore about you guys do it?
Speaker 1 (35:49):
You do it for us we love it. We can't
get enough of it. The dumber gets, the happier we get.
Speaker 4 (35:56):
Here's a delightful one to take us off into. Some
thumbs up.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Oh yeah, boy thirteen arrested at hospital for impersonating a
doctor after turning up wearing scrubs and fake id went
the distance.
Speaker 1 (36:12):
Yeah, here's the thumbs ups. Anthony WP wants a thumb
himself and his team. I think you mean to support
team for beating cancer after four year battle. He also
during that time lost a long term relationship, lost his mother,
and his brother got the same type of cancer. Anthony
just got stable. Results is officially in remish his word,
(36:35):
not mine. Nice. And he stole Kurt's mantra and got
a tattoo that reads this is temporary Kurt. I saw
that one. Yes, he says, Kurt makes me want to
be a funnier fucker, which is nice. And in ten days,
which I think is a month or two ago, now
Anthony married the finest human ever and gets to spend
the rest of their temporary lives together.
Speaker 3 (36:58):
Ums. That's Anthony, and it's such a good It's a
version that you talked about because I said I was
going to get this tattoo. This is temporary, and Scotty said, oh,
you should get it like it's fading out a little bit.
And he got it kind of almost like a stamp
that's like rubbing off, but it's his entire or entire
(37:19):
lower arm.
Speaker 1 (37:20):
It's it's huge.
Speaker 4 (37:21):
It's like, oh, man, that's better.
Speaker 3 (37:23):
Than I would have done. I would have gotten it small,
and I still might. I still might do it.
Speaker 1 (37:28):
I think you should.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Oh. And also, folks, by the way, speaking of this,
we are working on Banana's Fest two.
Speaker 4 (37:35):
Whoa, whoa, It's it's coming again. It will be in
Denver again.
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Won't can't give anything else away, but hopefully we will
have many tattoo artists on hand to give out tattoos
for you.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
Chelsea wants to thumb up her fiance Becky. They might
be married by now. She loves bananas. She calls us
her buddies, and Chelsea says thank you for keeping Becky
company on her commute and keeping her saying as she
pursues her graduate degree in Library and Information sciences. And
she also says, come to Cleveland. Well, Kurt's gonna be
in Cincinnati. You can go see Kurt. Yeah, that's different.
Speaker 4 (38:08):
I love Cleveland. It's such a fun place to perform.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
We'll do bananas in Ohio at some point, maybe this year.
We got a lot of people in Ohio. I ran
the numbers. There's a lot of people in Ohio. So
we'll do a city there for sure.
Speaker 4 (38:23):
Oh maybe when we go back to Chicago in September.
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Sounds fun to me. Yeah, Cincinnati's not too far away.
This is a nice one. See, the three of us
are all writers, so this is a great one to do.
On this episode, Amanda's thumbing herself way up. She's super proud.
She's been working for nine and a half years as
a drone technician and has been delivering thankless uncredited work.
(38:48):
But recently Amanda was named a co author on an
article in the Journal of Science and the papers and
the peer review process, but when it is published, Amanda
is going to frame it. So she finally got ignowed
for all her tireless work.
Speaker 4 (39:01):
Isn't that awesome in the legit science of science?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Thank you and congratulations to Amanda. And last but not least, hmmm,
I got a lot of them here. How about this one?
This one's nice. Pamela wants to thumb her dad up.
Her dad, Oh, nameless dad. By the way, didn't name
the dad, but that's great. Dads don't need a name.
Dad is enough. Pamela wants a thumb her dad up.
(39:27):
He has donated over twenty gallons of blood in the
last forty years. God, Pamela needed a blood transfusion as
a little kid to save her life and ever since,
her dad started donating every fifty eight days and has
never stopped. Gallons of donated blood. Thumbs up to Pamela's
nameless dad, A true selfless dude. That's such a Banana
(39:50):
the week. Yeah, Banana the week.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Congratulations, that's such a dude.
Speaker 5 (39:55):
Way to do it too, every fifty eight days on
the dot for an entire life. That's that's masculinity done right.
Speaker 1 (40:03):
That's yeah right. Also, I don't think you'll have any
microplastics in them. Apparently when you donate blood it lowers
the amount of microplastics in your system. Is so Pamela's
dad might just be free flowing old that.
Speaker 4 (40:14):
It's smart.
Speaker 5 (40:15):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (40:16):
And of course we are here with the wonderful Jane
Board and you can get her book. Cults like us,
How doomsday thinking something America?
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (40:25):
Why doomsday thinking drives America?
Speaker 1 (40:27):
There it is.
Speaker 3 (40:28):
You can get it right, you can get it in
March everywhere, March twenty five, March twenty fifth, Thank you
for the date.
Speaker 4 (40:35):
And how is How did it come about?
Speaker 5 (40:38):
I mean, I've always been interested in this stuff. I
was a religious studies major in college and I had
been writing about Colts for Vanity Fair and one day I,
just because I'd been doing so much research on it,
I started noticing all the patterns right of the thinking
behind these groups and the indoctrination. And then I started
(41:00):
seeing it everywhere in American culture, and I was like,
this is you know, it's a global phenomenon. Obviously it's
a human phenomenon cults, but there's something specifically American about it.
And then one day I was just like, oh my god,
the Puritans were a cult. No one talks about that,
but they.
Speaker 4 (41:19):
Were yeah, that's and I love it.
Speaker 3 (41:22):
And then so does it have Is it purely journalism
or is there a memoir aspect to it as well?
Speaker 5 (41:30):
I mean I show up in there every now and then,
but it's mostly you know, it's mostly research and argument
and a lot of jokes because I can't help myself. Also,
it's like a dark topic. You gotta make it, you know,
it's it flows, it's.
Speaker 3 (41:45):
It's voicy, easy to read, it's easy to read.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
Yeah, yeah, it's not. It's not dense at all. But
improv comedy shows up on page five.
Speaker 1 (41:56):
Yeah, oh my god, that's such a good It's so true.
Speaker 5 (42:00):
It's very culty, very cultisy especially.
Speaker 4 (42:03):
I mean we we came up with the cultiest of
the cult.
Speaker 5 (42:06):
Yes, yeah, we literally like revered a bearded white dude.
Speaker 4 (42:11):
Yeah yeah, yeah, sure.
Speaker 5 (42:12):
It was framed on the wall.
Speaker 1 (42:14):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (42:15):
And so for those of you, like I met Jane
going at Upright Citizens Brigade Theater in like the late nineties,
and it was one hundred percent a cult.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
It was one.
Speaker 3 (42:27):
It was you were it was people paying to take classes,
then people performing for free, and then the audience was
the people who were paying to take classes to pay
to watch other students who were paying class to take
classes perform improv comedy, which seventy five percent of the
time was horrible. It was like fast that it was.
Speaker 4 (42:50):
I was like, this is a money this is a
money making is a genius move.
Speaker 3 (42:54):
To like have this and then and yet I'd do
it again, and you would do it again, you would
do it?
Speaker 5 (42:59):
YEA love to? I love to. I actually come out
on the side of it not being a cult based
on a technicality is a technicality.
Speaker 4 (43:07):
Because it doesn't make a lot of money because you
had to wet bankrupt.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
I mean that's not untrue.
Speaker 1 (43:18):
Yeah, yeah they did.
Speaker 5 (43:21):
But the guy we were quote unquote worshiping was dead
first of all. But also I didn't I didn't feel
I didn't really feel that exploited.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
No, you're not exploited other than like performing for free.
Speaker 5 (43:33):
Yeah yeah, yeah, And I feel like the exploitation is
what makes it a cult, you know, or at least
that's the problem. That's the problematic part of it, right right.
Speaker 3 (43:42):
Oh yeah, the community and sense of purpose is wonderful.
Speaker 1 (43:46):
Yeah, well, you guys clearly craved a stage. I think
at some point it's like, hey, here's a place to
perform crazy he's here. You go hop around, make everybody laugh.
But then at some point, when you become skilled at
that thing, they should start paying you. But yeah, starting out,
it's like I just need a spotlight in a stage.
I just need to be somebody and learn something, And
it's so exciting and then at some point you're like,
(44:06):
so nothing, We're just going to do hours and hours
of this for audiences who were having a great time,
and then we don't get drink tickets.
Speaker 3 (44:13):
That was it always felt where it was just like
after and you would tat you would hit a ceiling
after like three or four years of it where you're like, okay,
and now what's the next thing, and they're like there
isn't this is it?
Speaker 4 (44:26):
This is like oh and then you have to get
out of it. Yeah, all right, you want to hear
about this boy?
Speaker 3 (44:32):
Yeah, I love doing Yeah, I want to hear about
Doogie Bowserser.
Speaker 5 (44:37):
This was in.
Speaker 3 (44:40):
Manchester Evening News, which is a classic. Lot of people
are reading it outside of Manchester.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
Like us James all the time. Three times I.
Speaker 4 (44:50):
Wrote this, He's the best and the biz boy.
Speaker 3 (44:52):
Thirteen arrested at hospital for impersonating a doctor after turning
up wearing scrubs and fake ID.
Speaker 1 (44:58):
Yeah that was a ChIL was arrested.
Speaker 3 (45:02):
Yeah, let's say a teen A child was arrested by
police at a hospital following reports of a person impersonating
a doctor. Witness claimed the youngster attended the hospital in
the morning of January nineteenth, wearing scrubs and with a
fake ID. Police were called to Derryford Hospital in Plymouth
at around ten thirty am. It has not been confirmed
(45:23):
which part of the estate the youngster was on, so
to use youngster twice and not say teen is a
weird move. Nor whether he had access to patients or
medical records.
Speaker 4 (45:36):
They don't know and they have not found out.
Speaker 1 (45:39):
Why would they.
Speaker 3 (45:40):
Police have now confirmed officers attended the hospital and a
child was initially arrested, but later dealt with by means
of quote words of advice. That's nice on not dressing
up as a doctor at having a fake ID, and
no further action will be taken. A spokesman for a
spokesperson for the Devon and Cornwall Police said police were
(46:01):
called at ten thirty am just saying the exact same thing.
It's just been said. Officer's an attendant and arrested thirteen
year old boy. Boys de arrested and the matter has
since also that word I don't think exists in American
nady de arrested, de arrested, and I would like to
introduce it to America. If you arrest someone, you can
(46:23):
de arrest them. We now know because the UK does it.
They de arrest people, and I think we should be
able to do that. I feel like in America it's
like once you're arrested, it's like this thing kicks in
that is like an unstoppable behemoth.
Speaker 4 (46:39):
And I think we should be able to de arrest people.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
Yeah. Also, let's redefine impost syndrome. Like, I know, imposter
syndrome as we know it is like self doubt and
I don't belong here and I'm not good enough, and
like I'm in a career situation or a life situation
where I don't fit in. But what you're describing should
be what imposter syndrome is. It should be somebody that
loves to impersonate another job in career and goes all
(47:05):
the way in. That's a way more exciting way. The
other one is like, oh, this one's like, oh yeah,
this guy's in there. He was two doorsway surgery.
Speaker 3 (47:14):
Think about how much guts it took at thirteen to
be like I'm gonna a fine scrubs, I'm gonna be
make a fake ID, and I'm gonna get into the
hospital and be a doctor.
Speaker 4 (47:25):
Why why what did he want?
Speaker 3 (47:28):
Because he's in the movie Catch Me if I if you.
Speaker 5 (47:31):
Yes, It's like this kid needs to be monitored. This
is like the the you know how like serial killers
torture animals as children. This is the first scam artists
to be following This sounds like a narcissist.
Speaker 1 (47:48):
I don't know. It's a baldness for sure. This is
a bold child. A lot of us at that age
were just like just trying not to get pushed over,
trying to fit in anywhere we could. This guy's like,
I'm going to the high spittle, I'm going to start
treating patients now. I like about it.
Speaker 4 (48:06):
I admire, I admire this kid.
Speaker 1 (48:08):
I love it.
Speaker 3 (48:09):
Jane is concerned that he's a artist. I do have
that concern it as well. But I am still I am.
I am owed and wowed by the hutzpah of like,
I'm going to be a doctor today.
Speaker 1 (48:24):
And kids, he well, he.
Speaker 5 (48:28):
Did did get away with it because he got to arrested,
didn't he.
Speaker 1 (48:30):
He got arrested, didn't he? Uh?
Speaker 5 (48:32):
Some kids his age are just camping out among toilet
paper and walmarts.
Speaker 1 (48:36):
Oh, this guy's making things happen. He's wearing costumes.
Speaker 3 (48:41):
It's the difference between the UK and the US.
Speaker 5 (48:45):
If you could make a fake ID that was convincing,
is that what you would use it for?
Speaker 4 (48:50):
To be a doctor's the funniest thing. He doesn't want
to drink.
Speaker 5 (48:55):
He wants to cure people, or he wants to see
ladies naked.
Speaker 3 (49:01):
Oh my god, it's so much to do when pornography
is literally everywhere.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
To go and pretend to be a doctor on the
hopes that you get into a gidological exam and no
one taps you out before you're like, let's check, let's
take a peek.
Speaker 1 (49:22):
Yeah, that's one way to do it.
Speaker 3 (49:25):
One way to do it.
Speaker 4 (49:26):
Scotty said this home with just a headline.
Speaker 1 (49:28):
Hmmm, jump rope pro. Jump rope pro saves neighbor and
dog from a nice pond with his jump rope. That's
such a nice I mean, what a nice way to
go out. It took twists and turns, but at the
end of the day, this is a person who used
their jump rope and pulled out a neighbor and a
(49:52):
dog from a frozen pond. Beautiful. There's hope. There's always hope.
Speaker 3 (49:57):
And I love a word like jump rope because it
really does just describe is what it is exactly.
Speaker 4 (50:04):
The what it is and what it doesn't.
Speaker 1 (50:10):
Tiddleywinks. This is jump rope. This is here we are
How does it work? Jump rope? What is it?
Speaker 4 (50:18):
Jump rope?
Speaker 1 (50:19):
What do you do with it?
Speaker 4 (50:20):
Jump rope?
Speaker 1 (50:23):
Thank you? Jane. Can everybody find you?
Speaker 3 (50:26):
Where?
Speaker 1 (50:26):
Can they find your book? Where they can they pre
order all the good stuff?
Speaker 5 (50:30):
Yeah, I'm at I'm at janebordon dot com or I'm
on Instagram at Jane Borden and the book is available
for pre order everywhere until March twenty five. I'm going
to be doing events in La New York, North Carolina.
We'll see where else.
Speaker 1 (50:47):
Cool.
Speaker 5 (50:48):
Yeah, I'm so happy to have been here. I love bananas.
You guys are the best longtime.
Speaker 1 (50:55):
Enjoy very much. We're glad to have you, and good
luck and bananimals go out there. And Jane even recorded
her own book, So order cults like us and laugh
and laugh and laugh and enjoy and learn something because
this is, at the end of the day, an educational podcast.
Speaker 5 (51:11):
And catch one of Kurtz jokes secondhand.
Speaker 1 (51:14):
There you go, Bananas. Yeah, Bananas is an exactly right
media production.
Speaker 3 (51:34):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (51:37):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 3 (51:40):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard and.
Speaker 1 (51:44):
Our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen Kilgareff and Georgia
Hartstart
Speaker 3 (51:47):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot
intern
Host
Scotty Landes
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