December 9, 2025 • 49 mins
Chloe Radcliffe joins Kurt and Scotty to talk about a 75 year old man who got 2000 strangers to smoke a cigarette with him, a drug dealer jailed after sharing photo of him holding cheese, police use a capybara costume to arrest criminal and a man gets stuck in a vagina sculpture!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scott Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, I'm ready to laugh and loaf and and laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This seventy five year old. You got two thousand strangers
in New York City to smoke a cigarette with him.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Uh, We're going nuts for butts on this episode of
Bla bla ba ba ba ba bananast World.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Would you believe.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
You?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Mysillion pieces?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Would you do?
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Bananas? Bananas?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Banana? Bananas. Bay guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to bananas. Hi, Scottie, Hey,
Kurtie b.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
We're dedicating this episode to the good and decent people
of Warkworth, Canada, population seven hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yes, we we were even doing that. Also, I just
want to let everybody know Seattle, Late Ad, Late Ad, Seattle,
December thirteenth and fourteenth. I'm at Emerald City, Emerald City
Comedy Club, So come on out. We just added it
because I'm back on the road. Folks.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Are you guys?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Are you ready? Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Scotty, let's dive in?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah? Are our guest today? You might have seen her
in Steven Soderberg's Command z damn might have. She was
nominated for a twenty twenty four WGA Award for Writing
on that series as well. You might know her from
being part of Just for Laughs, New Faces twenty twenty
(01:47):
five or Deadlines fifteen Committeans Ready to break Out in
twenty twenty five or Vultures Comedians You Should Know and
We'll Know or TBS Comic to Watch, or you can
see her in Bradley Cooper's upcoming movie is The Thing On.
Please welcome Chloe Radcliffe back to the show.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Hello, thank you for having me back.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Wellcome back. Our algorithm serves you up. Chloe a lot
the bananas pop Instagram, I see your JFL performance. It's
literally every time I hit the little magnifying glass to search,
you're one of You're on the board.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I'm honored to be on the board.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
But you know what, I've had other people say that
that video keeps getting reserved to them, which I don't understand.
Why the algorithm doesn't know that you've watched that and
now give them a new video of mine.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Now give the more they like it, give them another flavor.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It is so weird. The algorithm really is the closest
thing we have to magic nowadays, where it's just like
who knows, I don't know how it works.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Where I don't know how it works, but I know
it's a trick. Yeah, I know someone's lying.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And only the type of person who will focus on
one thing harder than the rest of us will ever
focus on anything in our lives can understand what is
happening for now, and I think the computers are going
to take it over.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So wait, we were just before we started. We were
just talking about the fact that you are starting to
record a new hour and you're doing it in Denver tonight.
If you were listening to this the day it came
out on Tuesday, December tenth, nine, December ninth, then you
can go right now to Denver. You can go to
(03:32):
see Chloe record her hour at Denver Comedy under Ground.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You're recording on two separate nights.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I'm recording two shows Monday and Tuesday, December eighth. You
miss that. It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They carried me out on their shoulders. I crowd they
I had multiple standing ovations during the show.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Go tonight. You need to go tonight?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Why why not? Why not do it early in late show?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
What a question? Why do you come to me with
these things?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Only because I find the second show is always the
better show.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Totally, totally, And that's why.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
That's why Denver Banana's listeners if last night, if they
if people cried from my comedy last night, imagine how
good it's going to be tonight.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I think it was that I knew that I wanted
to do it on weeknights. I knew that I didn't
want to do a weekend and.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Oh, you're worried that it would be too late for people.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yeah, I think in New York you can probably get
away and look, this is not an insult to the
middle of the country.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
I'm from the middle of the country. I love the
middle of the country.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Everyone he's coming to the show Denver has been skiing
all day long. They aren't an ipa is.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
They've been smoking those fat blunts. Yeah, they don't.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
So, you know, I think what what it would be
like A six pm and a nine pm Both of
those are times that for normal people in normal places
in the country, people are like, the fuck do you
mean a six pm show on a weekday or a
nine pm show on a weekday?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Dude, I just did. I just did a ten pm
show on a Monday night in New York. It was
just like, what is this real. Yeah, thats a real thing.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
What do these people do? How are there one hundred
and fifty people in this room? What do you have
to do? Where are you going tomorrow? Yeah? It's crazy,
it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
But this isn't just a special. This is cheat, right
you're doing?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
This is not cheat. This is this is an hour.
This is my hour special. This is an hour of
stand up. This is so far everything that Scotty has
said is wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Don't listen to It's a tactic.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's not my solo show, and it's not on Wednesday, summertime.
It is an hour of stand up and it is
on Tuesday to summer ninth.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
See now I'm playing the audience. Yeah, and you are
serving up facts and that's what it's all about.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, that's a trick. It's a tactic.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
So what do you play the new Bradley Cooper movie.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I play a stand up comedian?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
WHOA? So I really outside your wheelhouse?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I had to stretch my acting jobs for this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You booked it. You booked it, Chloe. There are a
lot of comics who probably went out to play a comic.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
And you booked I have I have been told that
a lot of of comedians audition for this role.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I am very honored.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I am a buddy with the guy who wrote the
stand up for Bob for Yeah Bob Castram, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Yeah, Yeah, he's so awesome. He's great.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We just worked together at the tonight show. Oh of
course I am no longer working because I didn't know
you weren't. You fucking kept that from me when we
were sitting down and having drinks the.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Other day and I didn't say, watch us say goddamn word.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
We talked about it for like a full hour and
you did not mention.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
I think I thought you and I worked there.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh no, I did not.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
I think I know. I'm not trying. I'm never trying
to hide it.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I'm always looking for an opportunity to talk about how
it how that place scoured me out as a person.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It really it scoops inside your soul and just carves.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
It out, hollows you out, hollows really crazy, oh really
really crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And like it gave me so many things.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
It like not even in a like it it, you know,
and it taught me a lot, like literally concretely, I
I happened and I was there earlier in my career.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Than you were there.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But like, yeah, it very concretely was Domino A that
led to Domino B that led the Domino C that
led to Domino D.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Like I can like trace it through my career.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I'm grateful to have had that job and incredibly, God
did it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Mess me up?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeh, yeah so much. It's amazing, really well, but again,
I you know, I am sitting in a house because
of it, So thank God, thank god I had that job. Heck,
hell yeah, let's dive in all right here it is
maybe I am very excited to tell you about this. Now,
this is something I saw. I saw a flyer for this.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
In New York Crazy and this was.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
An Ola magazine with an extremation point Ola dot com.
And this was written by Jovida Trio.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Really good, really good.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
The Internet can be a weird, wild and scary, but
once in a while, something viral tugs at your heart strings.
That's exactly what happened last week. That's it wasn't exactly
last week, but it was okay a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Uh, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
When a seventy five year old Brooklyn man named Bob
the cigarette Maestro Terarry invited strangers to share a smoke
with him, and thousands showed up. Bob is an actor
and performer and part of a comedy collective called Old
Jewish Men. To promote his smoke filled gatherings, he put
flyers gathering. He put flyers around New York and passed
(09:06):
my random people in the park. It is a flyer
that is just a picture of him, an old, older man.
It says Jewish cigarette with me no capitalization. Then it's
just a picture of him smoking, and then a clip
art of a cigarette burning, and then it just says Friday,
November twenty first, two pm to two h five pm.
(09:30):
He and it's in Washington Square Park and you can rsvp.
There's a little QR code you can rsvp too. In
the flyer, Bob told people to meet him outside Washington Park.
He used the power of social media share videos inviting
people and it went viral great. What happened next was
pure magic. More than fifteen hundred people showed up. Students, skaters,
(09:54):
people on their lunch break, longtime smokers, people of all
ages gathered in the park waiting for Bob to light
the first cigarette. He was a star as the crowd
chanted bob Bob Bob Bob, let other people's cigarettes, pose
for selfie, signed autographs, and made his dream come true.
He signed audit, He signed a lot of people's cigarette packs.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That's great. I would love to have one of those.
So I wish I had gone.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I mean too, I wish I could have gone, But
this was when I was still working, and I did.
I could not leave because that is not allowed. If
you're not smoking, don't start. And if you are, definitely
quit and if you can't quit, come smoke with me,
right right, No, he said, at least cut back. He's
trying to be nice. It looks like the video is
(10:43):
the video is crazy. The video is crazy. There's so
many people. There's so many people smoking a cigarette with
this guy. Did you guys know smoking's back by the
way I could tell smoking his back. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
I mean the problem. The problem is it's the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It looks great.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, it looks amazing, it feels good, it makes you naughty.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Eat everybody wants to be skinny now.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I mean, it's just it's it's unfortunately better than every
other vice.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, yeah, it looks cool, but uh, do kids still roll?
It was always the ones that rolled their own cigarettes
that just drove me up the walls.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I know, I don't think they do.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
I know a couple of musicians in Brooklyn. People in
Europe definitely rolled their own. But I know a couple
of musicians in Brooklyn who Scotty.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Musicians in Brooklyn. Yeah, they're probably They're the same as
people in France.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, you would push them off the fire escape that
they are standing on rolling a lucy for you.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, yeah, you would go how many?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
How many stories up are we? I think this is
I don't know if you're gonna s yep, gladly.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You know what I loved about the self rolls, though,
is the little box, the little box where you like
put it all in and then you closed the box
and a perfectly made cigarette pops up the top. Have
you ever seen those?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Oh? Yes, I have, So those are cool.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
What you're saying is you like machine?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I love machine? I love them. Yeah, I love a
zip I love a zippo. You know, I love all
that shit. Honestly, smoking a cigarette with a zippo is
one of the true joys of course life. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Well the problem is that as you're trying to get
like healthier and more responsible. Nothing is safe anymore, like
nothing is allowed anymore. And I don't mean safe like
you're gonna hurt yourself. It's like you can't eat that
that's not safe. You can't walk over there, that's not safe.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
There's nothing, there's like nothing is nothing is okay anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
They also came out I just went to the doctor
and she was like, so now they're saying no drinking
is the only safe drinking. Yeah, And I was like,
but for but for fifty years, it was two drinks
a day was okay. And now all of a sudden,
it's just no drinking. It's just like you can't just
continue take everything away from us.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, yeah, and probably probably they're right, no drinking is
the safest drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
But sure, yeah, we used to We used to live.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Until thirty five.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Now we can get to seventy five and have liver
cancer and then die.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
What do you want to get to eighty eight?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
No fucking one, great point? Or do you want to
get to eighty eight and not drink the whole time?
Like if I'm going to eighty eight, I'm gonna be
if I make it to eighty eight. I'm never not
gonna have a thermos and alcohol in one of my hands.
I'm right sorry.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
I met a woman who was going through AA in
her eighties and her husband had died and she kind
of had nothing else to live for, and she just
drank black coffee and I was like, baby girl, you
should drink get.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Back, get back on.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
You gotta numb this somehow well.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Funny you such to that because Chloe and I grab
drinks about I don't know, three weeks ago or so,
and okay, he went to a bar that's known for
having very good cocktails. How would you rate scale one
to ten, ten being the best drink, one being the
worst drink. The drink we ordered.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I would say I would rate it, uh, I would
rate it like an h like it doesn't live on
the scale, on the number scale, you know, like that it.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Was not no, it's not even it wasn't even bad.
I drank my whole thing.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I drank the whole thing too.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yep, but it was it was like so unrecognizable as
a cocktail that it was sort of like imagine, imagine
if you put like sugar in some dirty dishwater and
then you put.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Cream cheese on top of that.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Correct, you would be like, I can't rate this as
a cocktail.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
There's no what's the place, what's the drink?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Okay? I took a photo of the menu because it
was so bad and I knew Chloe's going to come
back on. The drink was called Secrets of Inheritance. So
already a problem.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Yeah, that should that should be your first one.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Trying to punish people. They're trying to punish people.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That they really are. It felt like a punishment. Here's
the list of ingredients on the menu, and we still
went with it, but also cloning arm are like, we
have to try this. It sounds horrible, and we were ready.
Graham cracker, crust, gray goose, that's one ingredient.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
That's one. That's the first thing on the list.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
The first ingredient is already confused.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
They've infused vodka with graham cracker.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That's something is like, you can't there's no way to
make that without chemicals, you know what I mean. There's
no way. They took graham cracker, crushed it, crushed it
up and let it sit and then strained it out. No,
that is just chemical editions.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Okay, go ahead, Second ingredient sick high rice beverage.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Okay, all right, so this is a confusing foreign's taste.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well, let's up the any a little bit. Third ingredient
Korean fish sauce.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
No, you didn't know. You did not order that drink.
Fourth about the order, not even the drinking.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We were happy either. Yeah, Fourth ingredient, Hannah mac Gioli
taxs you sixteen. Don't know what any of it is.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Couldn't couldn't fin fifteen.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Was better tack t a k j u. So maybe
it's like a soju. Maybe ingredient five cream cheese foam.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It's actual cream cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
It dominated the whole thing because you could smell cream
cheese right under your nose. Every six.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
A fish sauce bagel as ingredient six.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Just to top it off, just to let you know
they're trying to ruin your life. Pink sugar sprinkles. This
is a real drake that Chloe and I.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Got you of that we got two of you got
Oh no, I mean like one per right, okay, one per.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Imagine Imagine a world where anything you're going to consume
has both fish sauce and pink sugar sprinkles in the
same list.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So upsetting the secrets to inheritance is that you want
to murder yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Where was this place?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Where was it in Los Felis. It's a it's a
big bar, you could say, and uh, I would go
back again to the bar. Okay, I'm looking up. Okay,
So Hannah tacked you is Korean rice alcohol?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
But then isn't the other one also rice alcohol?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, yes, Sikai rice beverage. So basically, if you can
sit there and imagine putting an half a shot of
vodka in your mouth and then biting a gram cracker,
eating a spoonful of rice dunked and fish sauce, and
then smearing cream cheese over your tongue. And we did that, and.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
It's almost like a Philadelphia roll drink, Yeah, because Philadelphia.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
D delicious, Yes, with a s'more like with a yeah,
with like a marshmallow in it.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah. It's insane, And it was hilarious to watch each
other be like, yeah, we're adventurous, we like new things,
and then just looking and being like, boy, fucked up.
I Yeah, it would only have been better if you
and I were talking about a divorce at the same time,
we're like, all right, it didn't work out for us.
Let's have a drink and work this out, and just
looking at each other like you're eating racket balls.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I love to ask the server, like, what is the
weirdest thing on the men, because I'm sort of like
everything has a gin and honey, everything has a their
twist on an old fashion, right, But like I'm always like,
surprised me, shock me, and you know how rare it
is for me to actually be shocked.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
This place shocked me.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Credit to them, Credit to them. I used to do
the same thing. We wud occasionally get a shift drink
at some of the restaurants. I waded in and I
would make the bartender happy by saying, what bottle have
you never touched before? And they would usually grab Galliano,
which is Galliano is like the really tall, almost triangular bottle.
It's it's three times larger than every bottle. And the
(19:35):
only drink any of them knew how to make with
that was a Harvey wallbanger. So there I was at
twenty four, just slugging back Harvey wallbangers.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
I don't even know what a Harvey wallbanger is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I think it's Golliano gin and orange juice. I think
what's golle on? I don't know if it's a cordial.
It used to be a big drink in the eighties,
seventies and eighties. It's a it's a but it's a
not great and there's a reason nobody ever touched it.
Dram Bowie. I used to drink a lot of dram
Bowie because nobody ever ordered it. It's at every bar.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And that at twenty four, give me the drink that
no one's drank.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I would say, what bottle have you never used since
you've worked here? And they would turn around and be like,
you know, I've never used, and then they would just
grab it and then they would make something.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Out of that great amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
They were happy because you know it would also they
wouldn't get caught if they gave me a huge poor
because nobody else was everything else. So do you remember
what your first sip of secret alcohol was? Clay like
when you were a young person where you had a
friend's house, who's dad had a bar, or your mom.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Last my first like secret alcohol that I wasn't my
my much older cousin, my cousin who's fifteen or twenty
years older than me, gave me a glass of white
wine at a wedding when I was probably like fourteen,
and I remember being like, this is disgusting.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
This is the.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Worst thing I've ever put in my body. And I
didn't finish the whole glass.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I don't remember. I didn't get drunk. I like had
so little of it because I thought it was terrible.
But the first time that I ever got drunk was
the summer after high school at a friend's house, and
I got drunk the first shot that I took.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I took my first shot that night of Bacardi.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
One fifty one sure, and I thought that that is
what alcohol was. And so I just like learned. I
was like, this is it. This is the experience. I
don't understand why people like it, but like, this is
you better get used to it. And so it meant
that I immediately was very good at taking shots because
(21:47):
I just learned on the worst shot.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah that's good, call smart. Yeah that's smart. Kurt. Do
you remember your first like clandestine sip of booze?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wan is brutal, brutal, you can light it on fire.
I remember the time I got drunk. I remember the
first sip. I think maybe the first sip was it
was a beer. It was a beer in an attic,
in an attic during the summer, out at a kid's
(22:22):
house who had a skate ramp in his backyard, and
we're listening to Jack and Diamond and we're trying to
drink a beer. And it was hot.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
I was gonna say that sounds like a hot humid.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah, it was a terrible place to drink a beer.
But the first time I got drunk was I was twelve,
and I was my sister, who's much older than me,
got married in Germany because she married a German Man.
And in Germany, like kids drink, and so no one
gave a shit. And so it was just Bellini's that
(22:51):
were being served at like ten am, and they were
all just going around and I just kept taking them
and taking them, and then I grabbed like a full
bottle of champ pain. I was just drinking a bottle
of champagne. And then I just continued to drink wine
all day long. Like for the first time I got drunk,
taking a boat to a castle in Germany where they
have a reception I'd be like, they did it up.
(23:12):
It was a crazy, crazy wedding because his parents had
like money, and it was like insane.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Wow, what a bummer.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
It must have been off your rocker.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It was also like, that's imagine why I enjoy a drink.
The first time was on a boat in Germany. Castle.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah good man, Yeah the best. Yeah, Billini's are delicious.
I don't know why Mimosa's took him over. Billini is
so much more delicious. So there was this Okay, so there.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Was a story of getting drunk the first.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Mine's not quite as bougie. So we would ride bikes everywhere.
We were nineties kids, so we'd just leave the house
all day and we went over to my friend Emmy's grandparents' house.
They had a really cool Victorian home in Glendon, Maryland.
I think Emmy lives there now and inherited the house,
I mean. And they had a full bar because they
were a huge beer distribution family. They are companied at
(24:14):
Anheuser Bush up and down the East coast, so they
had everything you want and they had a full bar.
And we looked at the whole bar and we kind
of did the same thing. Were about six of us
over summer break. I was probably in sixth grade, seventh grade,
so ten or eleven, And so we got into krem
(24:36):
Demnth of course because it was green and it smelled
so good, and so we all passed the bottle around
but we didn't drink, and then we you know, topped
it off with a little water to raise the level
back up. And then we all went riding and this
one kid named Charlie. We get on our bikes, we
ride across railroad tracks. We ride up the first hill
and he gets hit by a car. No way, totally fine, okay,
(24:58):
but the driver gets out starts screaming at him, and
I just kept riding. My friend and I were like
not getting involved. Of course, nobody's in a helmet. We
all thought we were drunk, even though we were not drunk.
It was basically listerine levels of drunk. But yeah, the
first time was like zip zip sip. And then we
(25:19):
got on bikes and within two minutes one of the
people got hit by a car. Jesus, oh, pretty awesome.
And my buddy Andre and I'm probably Emmy whose grandparents house.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It was.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Just kept on a riding. We were like not today
I'm not going.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
To San Quentin today, just San Quentin for having.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Do you know what they do to eleven year old
me in prison? Not good?
Speaker 1 (25:46):
So this is something the krem Demn thing made me
think mine delicious. My dad came to my college once
because he was having there was like a college reunion
for him, and it was like one of the he
was the only time he ever visited me period, and
(26:07):
so we're like, we're going out with him afterwards, and
it was like I was going to be like I
was nervous, very nervous. Obviously never really hung out with
my dad as a person, and I was twenty one.
So I drink. We went to a place in Baltimore
on the water. Still have no idea where it was.
It was on the water. We sat outside, I asked
(26:29):
for a drink. I think I just said, like, give
me a drink with a lot of alcohol. I think
I said smart, And he made me a drink that
I believe was called a white Spider and it had
creme dement in it and it was just minty. Have
you ever looked great hard alcohol the ingredients? Is it
(26:50):
a white spider? Are you looking up white Spider?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It is you're not kidding, Bud. It is three parts vodka,
half part crem dements, shaken with ice, rained into a
chilled or cocktail or coupe glass. Coup glass, yeah, you were,
Or you can use Aqua Bianca licur. It's a sleek
and minty cocktail that blends clean, neutral taste of vodka
(27:12):
with the sweet, refreshing flavor of crendamn white.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
It's splitting crazytad.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
With your German dad at Bay Cafe and Fells and Canton.
Damn dude. I like that the I feel like bartender
and server are even aware of a white spot.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
What a weird choice. Also, that's a Baltimore's choice.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
I feel like you have to be wearing sunglasses while
you drink a.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
White Yeah yeah, not on the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore. Wow,
give me a story, Scottie.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
You got it. Speaking of horrible cheeses and getting arrested,
Cassie sent this one. You can send your stories into
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas
Podcast on Instagram. Drug dealer jailed after sharing a photo
of cheese. This was written by Rob Pitchetta, who's so
good at cheese crime. You best, Rob, Pitchetta. It should
(28:14):
be Cheddar, but he just he's too cool. So it's
Robpitchetta at CNN dot com, which is sort of real.
A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when
he shared a photo of his hand holding a block
of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.
Oh my, so he was just holding cheese in a
(28:36):
photo and they scanned his fingertips because he's holding it.
I'm showing them he's holding it like this, so it's
like it's not he's not gripping it. He's just clutching
this cheese.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Wait wait, read it, Read it again.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when
he shared a photo of his hand holding a block
of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.
Carl Stewart, thirty nine years young from Liverpool, Northwestern England,
sent a picture on an encrypted device of a block
of Stilton cheese he had found an upmarket British grocery store.
(29:12):
Marks and Spencer mary Sides Police said in a press
release the.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Photos was discovery sending it to just a buddy.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Ya signal or something, you know, using something off the
photograph was discovered by police. Well, they might have had
a you know, I've seen television shows. They might have
had a fake phone number that they were texting with
this guy with rights.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's the new that's the new trap for criminals.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Hey, uh, show us what options you're considering at the
grocery store.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Yeah yeah, instacart just busting people. Great idea.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
By the way, there's no way. There's no way you're
getting Canbert right now. There's no way. Prove it, prove it.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Oh real. The photograph was discovered by police who analyzed it.
Authority said Stuart's quote love of Stilton cheese end quote
led to his arrest, and.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was Stilton, I love it the most British g's out.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
There, agreed. He was jailed on Friday after pleading guilty
to conspiracy to supply cocaine, heroin md M A and
ketamine and tran and to transfer criminal property. Stuart said
the Stuart sent the image on end crow chat. I've
never heard of.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
End crow chat chat. That sounds like a very British signal.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
E E n c r O end crow chat an
encrypted messaging service used exclusively by criminals.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
That's cool. I hope. It's a question when you're signing up,
are you a criminal?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Proven the capture that you are a criminal?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Thing you would steal?
Speaker 4 (30:59):
Which of the these items is illegal?
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Shoot your phone these pictures of pills. Choose the ones
that are mdmature.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So uh. Encrow Chat was infiltrated by police in a
major operations. It was major hmmm. Carl Stewart was involved
in supplaying large amounts of Class A and B drugs,
but was caught was caught by his love of Stilton
(31:31):
cheese after sharing a picture of a block in his
hand on encrow chat. Detective Inspector Lee Wilkinson said in
a statement, his palm and his fingerprints were analyzed from
that picture and was we were able to establish that
they belonged to Stewart. Crazy.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
They had his fingertips, the fingerprints okay, yea, or they
had them or they had them in the National regis.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
The data bank.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, they had them in the data bank. So it
wasn't from a crime scene. So they just needed to
know if the hand holding the Stilton was.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Oh they knew maybe they knew the handholding the Stilton
has a lot of drugs. Also is a guy who
has a lot of drugs and we don't know who
the hand.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Is exactly interesting. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Hilarious.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You know, this guy loved cocaine and cheese.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, the fine, finer things in life.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
I can't imagine doing cocaine. You'd want to eat cheese, right,
I mean that doesn't seem like a natural pairing. No, no, no,
not at all. Okay. Anchor Chat, which offered a secure
mobile phone instant messaging service, was a criminal marketplace used
by sixty thousand people worldwide for coordinating and distributing illicit
goods money. So it's sort of like it's what Silk Road.
(32:54):
It seems a little bit like that, money laundering and
plotting to kill rivals. My goodness, Stuart is not. This
is like sometimes, you know, Chloe, we do a lot
of stories where the journalist or just writer will give
you three paragraphs at the beginning about why they wrote
about this, and it's always the most boring stuff. It's
(33:14):
not facts. This is the opposite, because I feel like
they stick the landing on this so well, and I'm
going to do this story in the future episode. Stuart
is not the first person to be arrested after making
an unforced air great blanket statement. In twenty sixteen, two
unfortunate robbers held up a McDonald's and France, only to
discover that eleven armed members of an elite paramilitary force
(33:37):
were eating there at the same time. As Oh, those
are my favorite stories.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
The SWAT team needs a burger too.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah, man, it's better over there. God. So anyways, don't
use encrow trat and don't post pictures of your bare
hand holding cheese. Guys, that's just just a teachable moment
for us.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Wow, I mean, give it up. The detectives involved in that, Like,
that's kind of amazing, Like we're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I don't, Kurt. I think you're giving them more credit
than they than they're due. I think I think give
it up for I feel like they probably use like
AI to analyze the fingerprints or something like. That's you know,
like that's amazing technology.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
But I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Say for the detectives to get into encrow chat feels
like that feels like step one. You know, that feels
like go to the club where people keep overdosing. You know,
It's like that's I would say that is like one
oh one detective work. Go go to that place where
there's a lot of criminals where it advertises for crime.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah. Also, the most like the closest I ever came
to this was back when people had landlines. I was
really good at timing when somebody else would pick up
the landline and I would too, so I could just
listen on a phone call. I'd be like watching somebody
across the house and be like and now and then
I would just spy on my friends talking to their girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Who and then you would hold your hand over like
the thing and just yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
And I was good at that.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Let me tease you into some oh thumbs ups. Indeed,
here this one's easy. Good Giant cap Beaslaur's police to
drug rest.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Giant Capa leads police to a drug rest. That's good
Nature's boats. Everybody loves a cappy thumbs ups. This is
a time sensitive one too. December eleventh, which is two
days after Chloe is recording in Denver at Denver Comedy
Underground her hour long comedy special. Do you have a
title for that special yet?
Speaker 4 (35:44):
The tentative title is Dibbs.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
That's good, although other options are eyes down here, oh yeah,
and other options are all baby, no sexy.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
That's a good joke too, A lot of your jokes, Chloe.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
It's December eleventh, two days after you're in Denver watching Chloe.
You can go to Sacramento so for the Sacramento Ban Animals.
I guess that would also be like folsome and stuff.
Samantha is letting us know her father, Tom Campbell, wrote
a book. She's thumbing him up because he's also turning
eighty years old. So he wrote a memoir called The
(36:27):
hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon. I bought
two copies, Kurt. If you it's a memoir. If you
want to go to his book signing, which is also
secretly an eightieth bird surprise birthday party, you can, and
you definitely should. Sacramento Ban Animals support an eighty year
old man who wrote a book. I mean, come on,
(36:49):
you can DM our bananimal at Sam campseyes on Instagram.
That's Sam like regular Sam camp ses is c a
mp s I e s on Instagram. Get the details,
and Samantha says it's never too late to follow your
dreams to thumbs up to Tom Campbell for writing The
hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon, or you
(37:11):
can go get him to sign a copy. DM. Samantha
Juliana or Juliana de la Montana. My favorite name. That's
a Bananamal I told her. I just love that name,
so good. Tanya wants to thumb herself up for her
last day of working for Elon. Hell Yeah, thumbs up
(37:36):
and double thumbs up for having just an incredible name. Okay.
Kara or Cara, I don't care here wants to thumb
give herself a shameless thumbs up. In the past three months,
she has been navigating early perimenopause and endometriosis, Flara depression,
(37:56):
separating from her partner fourteen years, losing furry companions, working
Christmas retail god, and she adopted a new kitten. But
Kara says she is still standing, and she wants to
give herself a deserved pat on the back for not
falling into a pit of despair. Yes, so double thumbs up, Kara.
(38:17):
That is a lot going on, but you're still standing.
Good for you. That's nice class but not least this
is a sweet one. Caroline wants to give her dad
huge thumbs up. He has been working little by little
to refurbish his nineteen fifty nine jeep. He's been working
on it for years and finally got it up and
(38:37):
running just in time to drive Caroline and her husband
away from their wedding back in September. It was so
cool to have that jeep as part of our big
day after years of watching it slowly get fixed up.
And she sent pics of she and her husband kissing
in the back of this nineteen fifty nine jeep being
driven away from this ceremonia.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
So thumbs up to you, Thumbs up to everybody, thanks
for sending to man.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And of course you can send your thumbs up too,
or your strange news stories to The Bananas Podcast DM
him on Instagram or the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
We are here with the inimitable and fantastic Chloe Radcliffe.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
True, you know, I feel like it's never too late
to follow your dreams. Is sort of the is sort
of like a theme that has run through today because
it also was the old guy smoking cigarettes in the park.
True that he's now, he's now a celebrity. He's you know,
I bet that he spent his whole Like, I bet
he's been an entertainer for his whole life. I bet
he's wanted this kind of celebrity and this kind of
(39:40):
celebration and now he has it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Also, Yeah, I love an old man who still smokes.
Of course, he has committed that is commitment seventy five
and still smoking. He probably starts smoking when he was ten,
like he is sixty five years of smoking.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I like that he's smart enough to say it's going
to be for five minutes. That's my favorite detail from
two to two o five or whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That's actually the most comedic moment.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah, a lot of people over the years. You know,
we have a lot of friends that are social smokers,
especially in college in Brooklyn, and they would always be like,
you know, we're deep in some drunken conversation about truly nothing,
and they're like, come outside, smoke a butt with me.
Smoke a butt. And every time I would smoke a
cigarette with a friend, which is maybe twenty five times
in my entire life, I was always like, I think
(40:30):
I'm doing this too fast, because I felt like cigarettes
would go away so fast that I understood why you
could smoke a pack a day because they really don't
take very long. But I was probably also inhaling.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I was gonna say, Scotty, your tolerance for substances, I
think is very high. I get this two or three
drags into a cigarette, and I am like, on the
third or fourth I am nauseous. Smoke so slowly, and
I love I love the first two or three drags,
(41:03):
but I have to smoke so slowly. I've made the
mistake of trying to stub it out and save it
because I'm the cheapest person I've ever met, so I'm like,
I don't want to waste half a cigarette, and I've
put it behind my ear and it smells.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
It's the worst smell I've ever smelled in my entire life.
It's worse than burning hair.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
There's nothing worse than a half used cigarette.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I'll tell you what is worse than a half you cigarette.
I know exactly what it is, which is because when
I was eighteen, me and three of my friends were
driving down to Baltimore from New Jersey and we decided
we're on the highway and it was cold out, and
so we kept the windows rolled up and then smoked
cigarettes in the car the whole way. And then my
(41:47):
car smelled with no windows open through four people smoking
and my car smelled like that. Like that, time's ten
anytime I got into my car for six.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Months, it was Jesus off.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
It was so terrible. I mean, you know, do make
make dumb choices? You know, you find out, But that
is it. You want me to read this?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yeah, hit it up.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Peruvian police use Kapa Bearra costume to lure, arrest it
and lure and arrest suspected drug dealers. This is an
ABC seven so funny. This was sent him by Copyhaste.
Thank you, copy Haste. The man dressing up Oh, this
is written by the digital.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Team Noble Swinging Digital team in Peru. Nobody wants the
guy in a costume story.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
This was on ABC seven. Dressing up as an animal
might just be the best way to catch a suspect.
Exclamation point, which is rare in journalism to see an
exclamation point. That's right, get that's what police, Yeah exactly,
this is why it's the digital team. Nobody wanted to
That's what police in Peru did. A police officer in
a Kappa Bera costume captured a suspected drug dealer on Friday,
(42:59):
body cam foot shows the costumed official holding of Valentine's
Day gift. The disguised officer then charges into the home
when the door is open and pins the suspect down.
This is the same police unit that used a similar
strategy last year, wearing a Teddy Bear costume to lure
a suspect. Oh genius needed to get the door open.
(43:20):
I guess this is really definitely seems just like someone
describing a video. There is no reporting here whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
Doesn't need any what I saw on World Starve.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
A lot of our also, a lot of our stories,
or at least the ones I choose, are that it's
just somewhat describing a reel that they saw.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
But great, I would love a Capy Bearer costume. I've
never seen a Capy Bearer costume, and I think that'd
be a real hit.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
How accurate is this costume?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Not?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Well, you know, not very But it has the head
right and then the body kind of looks like a hippopotamus.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I guess, Okay, so it's more of like a furry situation,
like it's something that a furry would wear.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yeah, it's a big or a mascot. It looks more
like a mascots Okay, yeah, yeah, if there was a
mascot for a you know, the largest road.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
And sorry, why did they need to dress up as
a cafe Bera.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
To get him to open the door. So he was
outside the door with the hot Valentine's Day gift. He
opens the door and then and then the capa Bera
tackles him. That's the best part about the video. Hell,
it's not other cops. It's the Cappa beerra who just
goes and takes them down. And then cops run in
and wow.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You'd be it works if you got arrested by a
cape Bera. No, you would never be allowed back on
n crow chat.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
If you got taken down.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
By a cave be it would just be you and
the cheese guy, though, you'd have to find your own
band forever ENCRYPTI channel.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Oh man. That's pretty funny though, because like you could
think of all the human things. They're like, ah, you
could send a guy to check the water meter and
they're like, they're never going to open the door for that.
You can be like you can send a package, like
a delivery guy, and they're like, no, never gonna happen.
You're like, how can we trick these Peruvians? Well, last year.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Teddy bear work.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
A teddy bear worked pretty good. And then that same
guy didn't know that, so like a year later he's like,
it's not a teddy Bear, it's a cavy bear. This
is totally different experient.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
They've got the head right, the body looks like a hippo,
but they've got they do have.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
I want to see this costume.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Oh man, that's so cool. You want me to wrap
it up with one?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Yeah, just give us the title.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Well, I might give you the whole thing because it's
only six sentences.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Jordan sent this in. Thank you Jordan, you send a
lot of good stories. My friend American student ends up
trapped in a giant vagina sculpture.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I thought we have done this one.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
It just happened like two days ago.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
This is the second vagina American trapped like me. I
swear to God we did this one before.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Go ahead, No, this one's brand spank.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I know that, But I mean I think a person
got stuck in.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
This, oh, the same vagina years ago.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yes, yeah, it's a Germany.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
They'll get you, man, they'll get the very tight vagina.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
They'll get you American Exchange students sparked extraordinary rescue mission
when his leg became trapped inside a giant vagina sculptor.
It was a Dare Fire Department. Squad leader Marcus Moser
told NBC News the young man tried to pose for
an unusual photo mm hmm and climbed inside the artwork.
A total of twenty two workers with special equipment were
(46:38):
deployed to the scene in southern Germany. M hmm. They
needed twenty two.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
That's that's amazing because German efficiency. That means there was
they used every person.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yes, this happened on Friday last week to free the
twenty year old. But a forceps delivery was not necessary.
That's not even a great joke. That's sort of like
they wanted.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
To avoid a c section. Yes, that's why they needed
so many people.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
We were able to pull the victim out of with
our bare hands after twenty minutes. Moser said. The six
foot replica of female Genitalia was installed thirteen years ago
outside of Microbiology and Virology Department in the city of
Tubingin or Tubingin, it is worth and again ending with
a great sentence, if you had to guess how much
(47:27):
a third? How tall is this? A six foot vagina?
Was two hundred thousand US dollars.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I love it that they've just given the price.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Money well spent. Wow, Chloe, Where can they find you?
Where can they buy tickets today? To see you tonight?
Speaker 4 (47:45):
Well tonight, I'm in Denver.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Tomorrow I'm gonna be stuck inside of a vagina sculpture,
but thank you.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Tonight I am at Denver Comedy Underground.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Tickets are available on my website Chloeidcliffe dot com, or
there's a link in all of my bios on all
my socials, which are all at Chloe Badcliff like my
last name Radcliffe but bad But yes, it's at the
Denver Company Underground tonight, seven thirty December ninth.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
You should come.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Bananimals, go dresses. Bananas will look great for the taping.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
If she has a couple of bananas, Yeah, get the
little yellow heads.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
In there, get your super brews, put on your at
Leisure slide inside of banana costume and represent Denver.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
Get in there.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
I'm doing my I am doing and Scotty, I'm doing
my solo show Cheat, which you brought up on Friday
of this week. December twelfth in New York.
Speaker 4 (48:34):
So that's it. Ours Nova, all.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
These tickets, Ours Nova is still going.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Ours Nova's still going. Man, We're still out there. Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
That's good to know.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
All tickets are on my website Chloreadcliffe dot com. Go
check that out.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Great show. I loved it so how we became friends.
I went and saw it so good. All right, Well
that'll do it. Thanks to everybody on Exactly Right. Thank
you Chloe, Thank you, Curdie B. Great to see you,
and congratulations on your newfound freedom. Friend. Congratulate Bananas. Put
(49:09):
it on a shirt. Bananas is an Exactly Right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas
theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot,
part time employee.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars
Scott Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Oh, I'm ready to laugh and loaf and and laugh.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This seventy five year old. You got two thousand strangers
in New York City to smoke a cigarette with him.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Uh, We're going nuts for butts on this episode of
Bla bla ba ba ba ba bananast World.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Would you believe.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
You?
Speaker 1 (00:29):
Mysillion pieces?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Would you do?
Speaker 3 (00:37):
Bananas? Bananas?
Speaker 1 (00:39):
Banana? Bananas. Bay guys, gals, non binary pals, Welcome to bananas. Hi, Scottie, Hey,
Kurtie b.
Speaker 2 (00:49):
We're dedicating this episode to the good and decent people
of Warkworth, Canada, population seven hundred and fifty.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Yes, we we were even doing that. Also, I just
want to let everybody know Seattle, Late Ad, Late Ad, Seattle,
December thirteenth and fourteenth. I'm at Emerald City, Emerald City
Comedy Club, So come on out. We just added it
because I'm back on the road. Folks.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Are you guys?
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Are you ready? Are you ready?
Speaker 2 (01:22):
Scotty, let's dive in?
Speaker 1 (01:25):
Yeah? Are our guest today? You might have seen her
in Steven Soderberg's Command z damn might have. She was
nominated for a twenty twenty four WGA Award for Writing
on that series as well. You might know her from
being part of Just for Laughs, New Faces twenty twenty
(01:47):
five or Deadlines fifteen Committeans Ready to break Out in
twenty twenty five or Vultures Comedians You Should Know and
We'll Know or TBS Comic to Watch, or you can
see her in Bradley Cooper's upcoming movie is The Thing On.
Please welcome Chloe Radcliffe back to the show.
Speaker 4 (02:04):
Hello, thank you for having me back.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Wellcome back. Our algorithm serves you up. Chloe a lot
the bananas pop Instagram, I see your JFL performance. It's
literally every time I hit the little magnifying glass to search,
you're one of You're on the board.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
I'm honored to be on the board.
Speaker 3 (02:24):
But you know what, I've had other people say that
that video keeps getting reserved to them, which I don't understand.
Why the algorithm doesn't know that you've watched that and
now give them a new video of mine.
Speaker 4 (02:36):
Now give the more they like it, give them another flavor.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
It is so weird. The algorithm really is the closest
thing we have to magic nowadays, where it's just like
who knows, I don't know how it works.
Speaker 4 (02:50):
Where I don't know how it works, but I know
it's a trick. Yeah, I know someone's lying.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
And only the type of person who will focus on
one thing harder than the rest of us will ever
focus on anything in our lives can understand what is
happening for now, and I think the computers are going
to take it over.
Speaker 1 (03:11):
So wait, we were just before we started. We were
just talking about the fact that you are starting to
record a new hour and you're doing it in Denver tonight.
If you were listening to this the day it came
out on Tuesday, December tenth, nine, December ninth, then you
can go right now to Denver. You can go to
(03:32):
see Chloe record her hour at Denver Comedy under Ground.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Perfect.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
You're recording on two separate nights.
Speaker 4 (03:40):
I'm recording two shows Monday and Tuesday, December eighth. You
miss that. It was amazing.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
They carried me out on their shoulders. I crowd they
I had multiple standing ovations during the show.
Speaker 4 (03:51):
Go tonight. You need to go tonight?
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Why why not? Why not do it early in late show?
Speaker 4 (03:59):
What a question? Why do you come to me with
these things?
Speaker 1 (04:05):
Only because I find the second show is always the
better show.
Speaker 4 (04:09):
Totally, totally, And that's why.
Speaker 3 (04:11):
That's why Denver Banana's listeners if last night, if they
if people cried from my comedy last night, imagine how
good it's going to be tonight.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
I think it was that I knew that I wanted
to do it on weeknights. I knew that I didn't
want to do a weekend and.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Oh, you're worried that it would be too late for people.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
Yeah, I think in New York you can probably get
away and look, this is not an insult to the
middle of the country.
Speaker 4 (04:37):
I'm from the middle of the country. I love the
middle of the country.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Everyone he's coming to the show Denver has been skiing
all day long. They aren't an ipa is.
Speaker 4 (04:47):
They've been smoking those fat blunts. Yeah, they don't.
Speaker 3 (04:52):
So, you know, I think what what it would be
like A six pm and a nine pm Both of
those are times that for normal people in normal places
in the country, people are like, the fuck do you
mean a six pm show on a weekday or a
nine pm show on a weekday?
Speaker 1 (05:07):
Dude, I just did. I just did a ten pm
show on a Monday night in New York. It was
just like, what is this real. Yeah, thats a real thing.
Speaker 4 (05:18):
What do these people do? How are there one hundred
and fifty people in this room? What do you have
to do? Where are you going tomorrow? Yeah? It's crazy,
it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:25):
But this isn't just a special. This is cheat, right
you're doing?
Speaker 3 (05:29):
This is not cheat. This is this is an hour.
This is my hour special. This is an hour of
stand up. This is so far everything that Scotty has
said is wrong.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Don't listen to It's a tactic.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
It's not my solo show, and it's not on Wednesday, summertime.
It is an hour of stand up and it is
on Tuesday to summer ninth.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
See now I'm playing the audience. Yeah, and you are
serving up facts and that's what it's all about.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
Yeah, that's a trick. It's a tactic.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
So what do you play the new Bradley Cooper movie.
Speaker 4 (06:02):
I play a stand up comedian?
Speaker 1 (06:04):
WHOA? So I really outside your wheelhouse?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (06:07):
I had to stretch my acting jobs for this.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
You booked it. You booked it, Chloe. There are a
lot of comics who probably went out to play a comic.
Speaker 3 (06:16):
And you booked I have I have been told that
a lot of of comedians audition for this role.
Speaker 4 (06:25):
I am very honored.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
I am a buddy with the guy who wrote the
stand up for Bob for Yeah Bob Castram, Yeah.
Speaker 4 (06:35):
Yeah, Yeah, he's so awesome. He's great.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
We just worked together at the tonight show. Oh of
course I am no longer working because I didn't know
you weren't. You fucking kept that from me when we
were sitting down and having drinks the.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Other day and I didn't say, watch us say goddamn word.
Speaker 4 (06:53):
You didn't.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
We talked about it for like a full hour and
you did not mention.
Speaker 4 (06:57):
I think I thought you and I worked there.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Oh no, I did not.
Speaker 4 (07:01):
I think I know. I'm not trying. I'm never trying
to hide it.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
I'm always looking for an opportunity to talk about how
it how that place scoured me out as a person.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
Dude.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It really it scoops inside your soul and just carves.
Speaker 3 (07:13):
It out, hollows you out, hollows really crazy, oh really
really crazy.
Speaker 4 (07:18):
And like it gave me so many things.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
It like not even in a like it it, you know,
and it taught me a lot, like literally concretely, I
I happened and I was there earlier in my career.
Speaker 4 (07:30):
Than you were there.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
But like, yeah, it very concretely was Domino A that
led to Domino B that led the Domino C that
led to Domino D.
Speaker 4 (07:38):
Like I can like trace it through my career.
Speaker 3 (07:41):
I'm grateful to have had that job and incredibly, God
did it.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Mess me up?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
Yeh, yeah so much. It's amazing, really well, but again,
I you know, I am sitting in a house because
of it, So thank God, thank god I had that job. Heck,
hell yeah, let's dive in all right here it is
maybe I am very excited to tell you about this. Now,
this is something I saw. I saw a flyer for this.
Speaker 2 (08:11):
In New York Crazy and this was.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
An Ola magazine with an extremation point Ola dot com.
And this was written by Jovida Trio.
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Really good, really good.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
The Internet can be a weird, wild and scary, but
once in a while, something viral tugs at your heart strings.
That's exactly what happened last week. That's it wasn't exactly
last week, but it was okay a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Uh, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (08:44):
When a seventy five year old Brooklyn man named Bob
the cigarette Maestro Terarry invited strangers to share a smoke
with him, and thousands showed up. Bob is an actor
and performer and part of a comedy collective called Old
Jewish Men. To promote his smoke filled gatherings, he put
flyers gathering. He put flyers around New York and passed
(09:06):
my random people in the park. It is a flyer
that is just a picture of him, an old, older man.
It says Jewish cigarette with me no capitalization. Then it's
just a picture of him smoking, and then a clip
art of a cigarette burning, and then it just says Friday,
November twenty first, two pm to two h five pm.
(09:30):
He and it's in Washington Square Park and you can rsvp.
There's a little QR code you can rsvp too. In
the flyer, Bob told people to meet him outside Washington Park.
He used the power of social media share videos inviting
people and it went viral great. What happened next was
pure magic. More than fifteen hundred people showed up. Students, skaters,
(09:54):
people on their lunch break, longtime smokers, people of all
ages gathered in the park waiting for Bob to light
the first cigarette. He was a star as the crowd
chanted bob Bob Bob Bob, let other people's cigarettes, pose
for selfie, signed autographs, and made his dream come true.
He signed audit, He signed a lot of people's cigarette packs.
Speaker 2 (10:16):
That's great. I would love to have one of those.
So I wish I had gone.
Speaker 1 (10:19):
I mean too, I wish I could have gone, But
this was when I was still working, and I did.
I could not leave because that is not allowed. If
you're not smoking, don't start. And if you are, definitely
quit and if you can't quit, come smoke with me,
right right, No, he said, at least cut back. He's
trying to be nice. It looks like the video is
(10:43):
the video is crazy. The video is crazy. There's so
many people. There's so many people smoking a cigarette with
this guy. Did you guys know smoking's back by the
way I could tell smoking his back. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
I mean the problem. The problem is it's the coolest thing.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
It looks great.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, it looks amazing, it feels good, it makes you naughty.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
Eat everybody wants to be skinny now.
Speaker 3 (11:11):
I mean, it's just it's it's unfortunately better than every
other vice.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, yeah, it looks cool, but uh, do kids still roll?
It was always the ones that rolled their own cigarettes
that just drove me up the walls.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
I know, I don't think they do.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
I know a couple of musicians in Brooklyn. People in
Europe definitely rolled their own. But I know a couple
of musicians in Brooklyn who Scotty.
Speaker 1 (11:34):
Musicians in Brooklyn. Yeah, they're probably They're the same as
people in France.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Yeah, you would push them off the fire escape that
they are standing on rolling a lucy for you.
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Yeah, yeah, you would go how many?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
How many stories up are we? I think this is
I don't know if you're gonna s yep, gladly.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
You know what I loved about the self rolls, though,
is the little box, the little box where you like
put it all in and then you closed the box
and a perfectly made cigarette pops up the top. Have
you ever seen those?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Oh? Yes, I have, So those are cool.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
What you're saying is you like machine?
Speaker 1 (12:09):
I love machine? I love them. Yeah, I love a
zip I love a zippo. You know, I love all
that shit. Honestly, smoking a cigarette with a zippo is
one of the true joys of course life. Yeah, of course.
Speaker 3 (12:24):
Well the problem is that as you're trying to get
like healthier and more responsible. Nothing is safe anymore, like
nothing is allowed anymore. And I don't mean safe like
you're gonna hurt yourself. It's like you can't eat that
that's not safe. You can't walk over there, that's not safe.
Speaker 4 (12:40):
There's nothing, there's like nothing is nothing is okay anymore.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
They also came out I just went to the doctor
and she was like, so now they're saying no drinking
is the only safe drinking. Yeah, And I was like,
but for but for fifty years, it was two drinks
a day was okay. And now all of a sudden,
it's just no drinking. It's just like you can't just
continue take everything away from us.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, yeah, and probably probably they're right, no drinking is
the safest drinking.
Speaker 1 (13:07):
But sure, yeah, we used to We used to live.
Speaker 4 (13:12):
Until thirty five.
Speaker 3 (13:13):
Now we can get to seventy five and have liver
cancer and then die.
Speaker 4 (13:17):
What do you want to get to eighty eight?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
No fucking one, great point? Or do you want to
get to eighty eight and not drink the whole time?
Like if I'm going to eighty eight, I'm gonna be
if I make it to eighty eight. I'm never not
gonna have a thermos and alcohol in one of my hands.
I'm right sorry.
Speaker 3 (13:34):
I met a woman who was going through AA in
her eighties and her husband had died and she kind
of had nothing else to live for, and she just
drank black coffee and I was like, baby girl, you
should drink get.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Back, get back on.
Speaker 4 (13:50):
You gotta numb this somehow well.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Funny you such to that because Chloe and I grab
drinks about I don't know, three weeks ago or so,
and okay, he went to a bar that's known for
having very good cocktails. How would you rate scale one
to ten, ten being the best drink, one being the
worst drink. The drink we ordered.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
I would say I would rate it, uh, I would
rate it like an h like it doesn't live on
the scale, on the number scale, you know, like that it.
Speaker 4 (14:26):
Was not no, it's not even it wasn't even bad.
I drank my whole thing.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I drank the whole thing too.
Speaker 3 (14:31):
Yep, but it was it was like so unrecognizable as
a cocktail that it was sort of like imagine, imagine
if you put like sugar in some dirty dishwater and
then you put.
Speaker 4 (14:44):
Cream cheese on top of that.
Speaker 3 (14:46):
Correct, you would be like, I can't rate this as
a cocktail.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
There's no what's the place, what's the drink?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Okay? I took a photo of the menu because it
was so bad and I knew Chloe's going to come
back on. The drink was called Secrets of Inheritance. So
already a problem.
Speaker 4 (15:06):
Yeah, that should that should be your first one.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
Trying to punish people. They're trying to punish people.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
That they really are. It felt like a punishment. Here's
the list of ingredients on the menu, and we still
went with it, but also cloning arm are like, we
have to try this. It sounds horrible, and we were ready.
Graham cracker, crust, gray goose, that's one ingredient.
Speaker 4 (15:29):
That's one. That's the first thing on the list.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
The first ingredient is already confused.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
They've infused vodka with graham cracker.
Speaker 1 (15:38):
That's something is like, you can't there's no way to
make that without chemicals, you know what I mean. There's
no way. They took graham cracker, crushed it, crushed it
up and let it sit and then strained it out. No,
that is just chemical editions.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Okay, go ahead, Second ingredient sick high rice beverage.
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Okay, all right, so this is a confusing foreign's taste.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Well, let's up the any a little bit. Third ingredient
Korean fish sauce.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
No, you didn't know. You did not order that drink.
Fourth about the order, not even the drinking.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
We were happy either. Yeah, Fourth ingredient, Hannah mac Gioli
taxs you sixteen. Don't know what any of it is.
Speaker 4 (16:27):
Couldn't couldn't fin fifteen.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Was better tack t a k j u. So maybe
it's like a soju. Maybe ingredient five cream cheese foam.
Speaker 1 (16:42):
It's actual cream cheese.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
It dominated the whole thing because you could smell cream
cheese right under your nose. Every six.
Speaker 1 (16:53):
A fish sauce bagel as ingredient six.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Just to top it off, just to let you know
they're trying to ruin your life. Pink sugar sprinkles. This
is a real drake that Chloe and I.
Speaker 1 (17:10):
Got you of that we got two of you got
Oh no, I mean like one per right, okay, one per.
Speaker 3 (17:17):
Imagine Imagine a world where anything you're going to consume
has both fish sauce and pink sugar sprinkles in the
same list.
Speaker 2 (17:27):
So upsetting the secrets to inheritance is that you want
to murder yourself.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Where was this place?
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Where was it in Los Felis. It's a it's a
big bar, you could say, and uh, I would go
back again to the bar. Okay, I'm looking up. Okay,
So Hannah tacked you is Korean rice alcohol?
Speaker 4 (17:49):
But then isn't the other one also rice alcohol?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
Yeah, yes, Sikai rice beverage. So basically, if you can
sit there and imagine putting an half a shot of
vodka in your mouth and then biting a gram cracker,
eating a spoonful of rice dunked and fish sauce, and
then smearing cream cheese over your tongue. And we did that, and.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
It's almost like a Philadelphia roll drink, Yeah, because Philadelphia.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
D delicious, Yes, with a s'more like with a yeah,
with like a marshmallow in it.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah. It's insane, And it was hilarious to watch each
other be like, yeah, we're adventurous, we like new things,
and then just looking and being like, boy, fucked up.
I Yeah, it would only have been better if you
and I were talking about a divorce at the same time,
we're like, all right, it didn't work out for us.
Let's have a drink and work this out, and just
looking at each other like you're eating racket balls.
Speaker 4 (18:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:56):
I love to ask the server, like, what is the
weirdest thing on the men, because I'm sort of like
everything has a gin and honey, everything has a their
twist on an old fashion, right, But like I'm always like,
surprised me, shock me, and you know how rare it
is for me to actually be shocked.
Speaker 4 (19:13):
This place shocked me.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Credit to them, Credit to them. I used to do
the same thing. We wud occasionally get a shift drink
at some of the restaurants. I waded in and I
would make the bartender happy by saying, what bottle have
you never touched before? And they would usually grab Galliano,
which is Galliano is like the really tall, almost triangular bottle.
It's it's three times larger than every bottle. And the
(19:35):
only drink any of them knew how to make with
that was a Harvey wallbanger. So there I was at
twenty four, just slugging back Harvey wallbangers.
Speaker 4 (19:44):
I don't even know what a Harvey wallbanger is.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
I think it's Golliano gin and orange juice. I think
what's golle on? I don't know if it's a cordial.
It used to be a big drink in the eighties,
seventies and eighties. It's a it's a but it's a
not great and there's a reason nobody ever touched it.
Dram Bowie. I used to drink a lot of dram
Bowie because nobody ever ordered it. It's at every bar.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And that at twenty four, give me the drink that
no one's drank.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
I would say, what bottle have you never used since
you've worked here? And they would turn around and be like,
you know, I've never used, and then they would just
grab it and then they would make something.
Speaker 1 (20:21):
Out of that great amazing.
Speaker 2 (20:24):
They were happy because you know it would also they
wouldn't get caught if they gave me a huge poor
because nobody else was everything else. So do you remember
what your first sip of secret alcohol was? Clay like
when you were a young person where you had a
friend's house, who's dad had a bar, or your mom.
Speaker 3 (20:42):
Last my first like secret alcohol that I wasn't my
my much older cousin, my cousin who's fifteen or twenty
years older than me, gave me a glass of white
wine at a wedding when I was probably like fourteen,
and I remember being like, this is disgusting.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
This is the.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Worst thing I've ever put in my body. And I
didn't finish the whole glass.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
I like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I don't remember. I didn't get drunk. I like had
so little of it because I thought it was terrible.
But the first time that I ever got drunk was
the summer after high school at a friend's house, and
I got drunk the first shot that I took.
Speaker 4 (21:23):
I took my first shot that night of Bacardi.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
One fifty one sure, and I thought that that is
what alcohol was. And so I just like learned. I
was like, this is it. This is the experience. I
don't understand why people like it, but like, this is
you better get used to it. And so it meant
that I immediately was very good at taking shots because
(21:47):
I just learned on the worst shot.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
Yeah that's good, call smart. Yeah that's smart. Kurt. Do
you remember your first like clandestine sip of booze?
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Wan is brutal, brutal, you can light it on fire.
I remember the time I got drunk. I remember the
first sip. I think maybe the first sip was it
was a beer. It was a beer in an attic,
in an attic during the summer, out at a kid's
(22:22):
house who had a skate ramp in his backyard, and
we're listening to Jack and Diamond and we're trying to
drink a beer. And it was hot.
Speaker 4 (22:28):
I was gonna say that sounds like a hot humid.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah, it was a terrible place to drink a beer.
But the first time I got drunk was I was twelve,
and I was my sister, who's much older than me,
got married in Germany because she married a German Man.
And in Germany, like kids drink, and so no one
gave a shit. And so it was just Bellini's that
(22:51):
were being served at like ten am, and they were
all just going around and I just kept taking them
and taking them, and then I grabbed like a full
bottle of champ pain. I was just drinking a bottle
of champagne. And then I just continued to drink wine
all day long. Like for the first time I got drunk,
taking a boat to a castle in Germany where they
have a reception I'd be like, they did it up.
(23:12):
It was a crazy, crazy wedding because his parents had
like money, and it was like insane.
Speaker 4 (23:19):
Wow, what a bummer.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
It must have been off your rocker.
Speaker 1 (23:22):
It was also like, that's imagine why I enjoy a drink.
The first time was on a boat in Germany. Castle.
Speaker 2 (23:33):
Yeah good man, Yeah the best. Yeah, Billini's are delicious.
I don't know why Mimosa's took him over. Billini is
so much more delicious. So there was this Okay, so there.
Speaker 1 (23:48):
Was a story of getting drunk the first.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
Mine's not quite as bougie. So we would ride bikes everywhere.
We were nineties kids, so we'd just leave the house
all day and we went over to my friend Emmy's grandparents' house.
They had a really cool Victorian home in Glendon, Maryland.
I think Emmy lives there now and inherited the house,
I mean. And they had a full bar because they
were a huge beer distribution family. They are companied at
(24:14):
Anheuser Bush up and down the East coast, so they
had everything you want and they had a full bar.
And we looked at the whole bar and we kind
of did the same thing. Were about six of us
over summer break. I was probably in sixth grade, seventh grade,
so ten or eleven, And so we got into krem
(24:36):
Demnth of course because it was green and it smelled
so good, and so we all passed the bottle around
but we didn't drink, and then we you know, topped
it off with a little water to raise the level
back up. And then we all went riding and this
one kid named Charlie. We get on our bikes, we
ride across railroad tracks. We ride up the first hill
and he gets hit by a car. No way, totally fine, okay,
(24:58):
but the driver gets out starts screaming at him, and
I just kept riding. My friend and I were like
not getting involved. Of course, nobody's in a helmet. We
all thought we were drunk, even though we were not drunk.
It was basically listerine levels of drunk. But yeah, the
first time was like zip zip sip. And then we
(25:19):
got on bikes and within two minutes one of the
people got hit by a car. Jesus, oh, pretty awesome.
And my buddy Andre and I'm probably Emmy whose grandparents house.
Speaker 3 (25:30):
It was.
Speaker 2 (25:32):
Just kept on a riding. We were like not today
I'm not going.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
To San Quentin today, just San Quentin for having.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Do you know what they do to eleven year old
me in prison? Not good?
Speaker 1 (25:46):
So this is something the krem Demn thing made me
think mine delicious. My dad came to my college once
because he was having there was like a college reunion
for him, and it was like one of the he
was the only time he ever visited me period, and
(26:07):
so we're like, we're going out with him afterwards, and
it was like I was going to be like I
was nervous, very nervous. Obviously never really hung out with
my dad as a person, and I was twenty one.
So I drink. We went to a place in Baltimore
on the water. Still have no idea where it was.
It was on the water. We sat outside, I asked
(26:29):
for a drink. I think I just said, like, give
me a drink with a lot of alcohol. I think
I said smart, And he made me a drink that
I believe was called a white Spider and it had
creme dement in it and it was just minty. Have
you ever looked great hard alcohol the ingredients? Is it
(26:50):
a white spider? Are you looking up white Spider?
Speaker 2 (26:52):
It is you're not kidding, Bud. It is three parts vodka,
half part crem dements, shaken with ice, rained into a
chilled or cocktail or coupe glass. Coup glass, yeah, you were,
Or you can use Aqua Bianca licur. It's a sleek
and minty cocktail that blends clean, neutral taste of vodka
(27:12):
with the sweet, refreshing flavor of crendamn white.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
It's splitting crazytad.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
With your German dad at Bay Cafe and Fells and Canton.
Damn dude. I like that the I feel like bartender
and server are even aware of a white spot.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
What a weird choice. Also, that's a Baltimore's choice.
Speaker 3 (27:38):
I feel like you have to be wearing sunglasses while
you drink a.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
White Yeah yeah, not on the Chesapeake Bay in Baltimore. Wow,
give me a story, Scottie.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
You got it. Speaking of horrible cheeses and getting arrested,
Cassie sent this one. You can send your stories into
the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com or the Bananas
Podcast on Instagram. Drug dealer jailed after sharing a photo
of cheese. This was written by Rob Pitchetta, who's so
good at cheese crime. You best, Rob, Pitchetta. It should
(28:14):
be Cheddar, but he just he's too cool. So it's
Robpitchetta at CNN dot com, which is sort of real.
A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when
he shared a photo of his hand holding a block
of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.
Oh my, so he was just holding cheese in a
(28:36):
photo and they scanned his fingertips because he's holding it.
I'm showing them he's holding it like this, so it's
like it's not he's not gripping it. He's just clutching
this cheese.
Speaker 1 (28:47):
Wait wait, read it, Read it again.
Speaker 2 (28:49):
A drug dealer whose fingerprints were analyzed by police when
he shared a photo of his hand holding a block
of cheese has been sentenced to thirteen years in prison.
Carl Stewart, thirty nine years young from Liverpool, Northwestern England,
sent a picture on an encrypted device of a block
of Stilton cheese he had found an upmarket British grocery store.
(29:12):
Marks and Spencer mary Sides Police said in a press
release the.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Photos was discovery sending it to just a buddy.
Speaker 2 (29:20):
Ya signal or something, you know, using something off the
photograph was discovered by police. Well, they might have had
a you know, I've seen television shows. They might have
had a fake phone number that they were texting with
this guy with rights.
Speaker 4 (29:40):
That's the new that's the new trap for criminals.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Hey, uh, show us what options you're considering at the
grocery store.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
Yeah yeah, instacart just busting people. Great idea.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
By the way, there's no way. There's no way you're
getting Canbert right now. There's no way. Prove it, prove it.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Oh real. The photograph was discovered by police who analyzed it.
Authority said Stuart's quote love of Stilton cheese end quote
led to his arrest, and.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
It was Stilton, I love it the most British g's out.
Speaker 2 (30:15):
There, agreed. He was jailed on Friday after pleading guilty
to conspiracy to supply cocaine, heroin md M A and
ketamine and tran and to transfer criminal property. Stuart said
the Stuart sent the image on end crow chat. I've
never heard of.
Speaker 1 (30:30):
End crow chat chat. That sounds like a very British signal.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
E E n c r O end crow chat an
encrypted messaging service used exclusively by criminals.
Speaker 4 (30:41):
Okay, all right, all right, all right.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
That's cool. I hope. It's a question when you're signing up,
are you a criminal?
Speaker 4 (30:52):
Proven the capture that you are a criminal?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
Thing you would steal?
Speaker 4 (30:59):
Which of the these items is illegal?
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Shoot your phone these pictures of pills. Choose the ones
that are mdmature.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
So uh. Encrow Chat was infiltrated by police in a
major operations. It was major hmmm. Carl Stewart was involved
in supplaying large amounts of Class A and B drugs,
but was caught was caught by his love of Stilton
(31:31):
cheese after sharing a picture of a block in his
hand on encrow chat. Detective Inspector Lee Wilkinson said in
a statement, his palm and his fingerprints were analyzed from
that picture and was we were able to establish that
they belonged to Stewart. Crazy.
Speaker 1 (31:50):
They had his fingertips, the fingerprints okay, yea, or they
had them or they had them in the National regis.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
The data bank.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
Yeah, they had them in the data bank. So it
wasn't from a crime scene. So they just needed to
know if the hand holding the Stilton was.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
Oh they knew maybe they knew the handholding the Stilton
has a lot of drugs. Also is a guy who
has a lot of drugs and we don't know who
the hand.
Speaker 1 (32:15):
Is exactly interesting. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Hilarious.
Speaker 3 (32:22):
You know, this guy loved cocaine and cheese.
Speaker 1 (32:26):
Yeah, the fine, finer things in life.
Speaker 2 (32:32):
I can't imagine doing cocaine. You'd want to eat cheese, right,
I mean that doesn't seem like a natural pairing. No, no, no,
not at all. Okay. Anchor Chat, which offered a secure
mobile phone instant messaging service, was a criminal marketplace used
by sixty thousand people worldwide for coordinating and distributing illicit
goods money. So it's sort of like it's what Silk Road.
(32:54):
It seems a little bit like that, money laundering and
plotting to kill rivals. My goodness, Stuart is not. This
is like sometimes, you know, Chloe, we do a lot
of stories where the journalist or just writer will give
you three paragraphs at the beginning about why they wrote
about this, and it's always the most boring stuff. It's
(33:14):
not facts. This is the opposite, because I feel like
they stick the landing on this so well, and I'm
going to do this story in the future episode. Stuart
is not the first person to be arrested after making
an unforced air great blanket statement. In twenty sixteen, two
unfortunate robbers held up a McDonald's and France, only to
discover that eleven armed members of an elite paramilitary force
(33:37):
were eating there at the same time. As Oh, those
are my favorite stories.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
The SWAT team needs a burger too.
Speaker 2 (33:48):
Yeah, man, it's better over there. God. So anyways, don't
use encrow trat and don't post pictures of your bare
hand holding cheese. Guys, that's just just a teachable moment
for us.
Speaker 1 (33:58):
Wow, I mean, give it up. The detectives involved in that, Like,
that's kind of amazing, Like we're not doing that.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
I don't, Kurt. I think you're giving them more credit
than they than they're due. I think I think give
it up for I feel like they probably use like
AI to analyze the fingerprints or something like. That's you know,
like that's amazing technology.
Speaker 4 (34:18):
But I'm gonna.
Speaker 3 (34:19):
Say for the detectives to get into encrow chat feels
like that feels like step one. You know, that feels
like go to the club where people keep overdosing. You know,
It's like that's I would say that is like one
oh one detective work. Go go to that place where
there's a lot of criminals where it advertises for crime.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Yeah. Also, the most like the closest I ever came
to this was back when people had landlines. I was
really good at timing when somebody else would pick up
the landline and I would too, so I could just
listen on a phone call. I'd be like watching somebody
across the house and be like and now and then
I would just spy on my friends talking to their girlfriends.
Speaker 1 (35:01):
Who and then you would hold your hand over like
the thing and just yeah, that's funny.
Speaker 2 (35:06):
And I was good at that.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Let me tease you into some oh thumbs ups. Indeed,
here this one's easy. Good Giant cap Beaslaur's police to
drug rest.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Giant Capa leads police to a drug rest. That's good
Nature's boats. Everybody loves a cappy thumbs ups. This is
a time sensitive one too. December eleventh, which is two
days after Chloe is recording in Denver at Denver Comedy
Underground her hour long comedy special. Do you have a
title for that special yet?
Speaker 4 (35:44):
The tentative title is Dibbs.
Speaker 3 (35:48):
That's good, although other options are eyes down here, oh yeah,
and other options are all baby, no sexy.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 1 (36:01):
That's a good joke too, A lot of your jokes, Chloe.
Speaker 2 (36:07):
It's December eleventh, two days after you're in Denver watching Chloe.
You can go to Sacramento so for the Sacramento Ban Animals.
I guess that would also be like folsome and stuff.
Samantha is letting us know her father, Tom Campbell, wrote
a book. She's thumbing him up because he's also turning
eighty years old. So he wrote a memoir called The
(36:27):
hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon. I bought
two copies, Kurt. If you it's a memoir. If you
want to go to his book signing, which is also
secretly an eightieth bird surprise birthday party, you can, and
you definitely should. Sacramento Ban Animals support an eighty year
old man who wrote a book. I mean, come on,
(36:49):
you can DM our bananimal at Sam campseyes on Instagram.
That's Sam like regular Sam camp ses is c a
mp s I e s on Instagram. Get the details,
and Samantha says it's never too late to follow your
dreams to thumbs up to Tom Campbell for writing The
hay Seed, which you can buy on Amazon, or you
(37:11):
can go get him to sign a copy. DM. Samantha
Juliana or Juliana de la Montana. My favorite name. That's
a Bananamal I told her. I just love that name,
so good. Tanya wants to thumb herself up for her
last day of working for Elon. Hell Yeah, thumbs up
(37:36):
and double thumbs up for having just an incredible name. Okay.
Kara or Cara, I don't care here wants to thumb
give herself a shameless thumbs up. In the past three months,
she has been navigating early perimenopause and endometriosis, Flara depression,
(37:56):
separating from her partner fourteen years, losing furry companions, working
Christmas retail god, and she adopted a new kitten. But
Kara says she is still standing, and she wants to
give herself a deserved pat on the back for not
falling into a pit of despair. Yes, so double thumbs up, Kara.
(38:17):
That is a lot going on, but you're still standing.
Good for you. That's nice class but not least this
is a sweet one. Caroline wants to give her dad
huge thumbs up. He has been working little by little
to refurbish his nineteen fifty nine jeep. He's been working
on it for years and finally got it up and
(38:37):
running just in time to drive Caroline and her husband
away from their wedding back in September. It was so
cool to have that jeep as part of our big
day after years of watching it slowly get fixed up.
And she sent pics of she and her husband kissing
in the back of this nineteen fifty nine jeep being
driven away from this ceremonia.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
That's awesome.
Speaker 2 (38:55):
So thumbs up to you, Thumbs up to everybody, thanks
for sending to man.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
And of course you can send your thumbs up too,
or your strange news stories to The Bananas Podcast DM
him on Instagram or the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com.
We are here with the inimitable and fantastic Chloe Radcliffe.
Speaker 3 (39:17):
True, you know, I feel like it's never too late
to follow your dreams. Is sort of the is sort
of like a theme that has run through today because
it also was the old guy smoking cigarettes in the park.
True that he's now, he's now a celebrity. He's you know,
I bet that he spent his whole Like, I bet
he's been an entertainer for his whole life. I bet
he's wanted this kind of celebrity and this kind of
(39:40):
celebration and now he has it.
Speaker 1 (39:42):
Also, Yeah, I love an old man who still smokes.
Of course, he has committed that is commitment seventy five
and still smoking. He probably starts smoking when he was ten,
like he is sixty five years of smoking.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I like that he's smart enough to say it's going
to be for five minutes. That's my favorite detail from
two to two o five or whatever it was.
Speaker 1 (40:05):
That's actually the most comedic moment.
Speaker 2 (40:08):
Yeah, a lot of people over the years. You know,
we have a lot of friends that are social smokers,
especially in college in Brooklyn, and they would always be like,
you know, we're deep in some drunken conversation about truly nothing,
and they're like, come outside, smoke a butt with me.
Smoke a butt. And every time I would smoke a
cigarette with a friend, which is maybe twenty five times
in my entire life, I was always like, I think
(40:30):
I'm doing this too fast, because I felt like cigarettes
would go away so fast that I understood why you
could smoke a pack a day because they really don't
take very long. But I was probably also inhaling.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I was gonna say, Scotty, your tolerance for substances, I
think is very high. I get this two or three
drags into a cigarette, and I am like, on the
third or fourth I am nauseous. Smoke so slowly, and
I love I love the first two or three drags,
(41:03):
but I have to smoke so slowly. I've made the
mistake of trying to stub it out and save it
because I'm the cheapest person I've ever met, so I'm like,
I don't want to waste half a cigarette, and I've
put it behind my ear and it smells.
Speaker 4 (41:16):
It's the worst smell I've ever smelled in my entire life.
It's worse than burning hair.
Speaker 3 (41:21):
There's nothing worse than a half used cigarette.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I'll tell you what is worse than a half you cigarette.
I know exactly what it is, which is because when
I was eighteen, me and three of my friends were
driving down to Baltimore from New Jersey and we decided
we're on the highway and it was cold out, and
so we kept the windows rolled up and then smoked
cigarettes in the car the whole way. And then my
(41:47):
car smelled with no windows open through four people smoking
and my car smelled like that. Like that, time's ten
anytime I got into my car for six.
Speaker 2 (41:58):
Months, it was Jesus off.
Speaker 1 (42:01):
It was so terrible. I mean, you know, do make
make dumb choices? You know, you find out, But that
is it. You want me to read this?
Speaker 2 (42:10):
Yeah, hit it up.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Peruvian police use Kapa Bearra costume to lure, arrest it
and lure and arrest suspected drug dealers. This is an
ABC seven so funny. This was sent him by Copyhaste.
Thank you, copy Haste. The man dressing up Oh, this
is written by the digital.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
Team Noble Swinging Digital team in Peru. Nobody wants the
guy in a costume story.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
This was on ABC seven. Dressing up as an animal
might just be the best way to catch a suspect.
Exclamation point, which is rare in journalism to see an
exclamation point. That's right, get that's what police, Yeah exactly,
this is why it's the digital team. Nobody wanted to
That's what police in Peru did. A police officer in
a Kappa Bera costume captured a suspected drug dealer on Friday,
(42:59):
body cam foot shows the costumed official holding of Valentine's
Day gift. The disguised officer then charges into the home
when the door is open and pins the suspect down.
This is the same police unit that used a similar
strategy last year, wearing a Teddy Bear costume to lure
a suspect. Oh genius needed to get the door open.
(43:20):
I guess this is really definitely seems just like someone
describing a video. There is no reporting here whatsoever.
Speaker 4 (43:29):
Doesn't need any what I saw on World Starve.
Speaker 1 (43:36):
A lot of our also, a lot of our stories,
or at least the ones I choose, are that it's
just somewhat describing a reel that they saw.
Speaker 2 (43:44):
But great, I would love a Capy Bearer costume. I've
never seen a Capy Bearer costume, and I think that'd
be a real hit.
Speaker 4 (43:50):
How accurate is this costume?
Speaker 3 (43:52):
Not?
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Well, you know, not very But it has the head
right and then the body kind of looks like a hippopotamus.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
I guess, Okay, so it's more of like a furry situation,
like it's something that a furry would wear.
Speaker 1 (44:05):
Yeah, it's a big or a mascot. It looks more
like a mascots Okay, yeah, yeah, if there was a
mascot for a you know, the largest road.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
And sorry, why did they need to dress up as
a cafe Bera.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
To get him to open the door. So he was
outside the door with the hot Valentine's Day gift. He
opens the door and then and then the capa Bera
tackles him. That's the best part about the video. Hell,
it's not other cops. It's the Cappa beerra who just
goes and takes them down. And then cops run in
and wow.
Speaker 3 (44:37):
You'd be it works if you got arrested by a
cape Bera. No, you would never be allowed back on
n crow chat.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
If you got taken down.
Speaker 1 (44:46):
By a cave be it would just be you and
the cheese guy, though, you'd have to find your own
band forever ENCRYPTI channel.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Oh man. That's pretty funny though, because like you could
think of all the human things. They're like, ah, you
could send a guy to check the water meter and
they're like, they're never going to open the door for that.
You can be like you can send a package, like
a delivery guy, and they're like, no, never gonna happen.
You're like, how can we trick these Peruvians? Well, last year.
Speaker 1 (45:15):
Teddy bear work.
Speaker 2 (45:17):
A teddy bear worked pretty good. And then that same
guy didn't know that, so like a year later he's like,
it's not a teddy Bear, it's a cavy bear. This
is totally different experient.
Speaker 3 (45:25):
They've got the head right, the body looks like a hippo,
but they've got they do have.
Speaker 4 (45:29):
I want to see this costume.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Oh man, that's so cool. You want me to wrap
it up with one?
Speaker 1 (45:36):
Yeah, just give us the title.
Speaker 2 (45:38):
Well, I might give you the whole thing because it's
only six sentences.
Speaker 1 (45:41):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (45:43):
Jordan sent this in. Thank you Jordan, you send a
lot of good stories. My friend American student ends up
trapped in a giant vagina sculpture.
Speaker 1 (45:52):
I thought we have done this one.
Speaker 2 (45:55):
It just happened like two days ago.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
This is the second vagina American trapped like me. I
swear to God we did this one before.
Speaker 2 (46:03):
Go ahead, No, this one's brand spank.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
I know that, But I mean I think a person
got stuck in.
Speaker 2 (46:08):
This, oh, the same vagina years ago.
Speaker 1 (46:11):
Yes, yeah, it's a Germany.
Speaker 4 (46:13):
They'll get you, man, they'll get the very tight vagina.
Speaker 2 (46:17):
They'll get you American Exchange students sparked extraordinary rescue mission
when his leg became trapped inside a giant vagina sculptor.
It was a Dare Fire Department. Squad leader Marcus Moser
told NBC News the young man tried to pose for
an unusual photo mm hmm and climbed inside the artwork.
A total of twenty two workers with special equipment were
(46:38):
deployed to the scene in southern Germany. M hmm. They
needed twenty two.
Speaker 1 (46:44):
That's that's amazing because German efficiency. That means there was
they used every person.
Speaker 2 (46:50):
Yes, this happened on Friday last week to free the
twenty year old. But a forceps delivery was not necessary.
That's not even a great joke. That's sort of like
they wanted.
Speaker 4 (47:01):
To avoid a c section. Yes, that's why they needed
so many people.
Speaker 2 (47:07):
We were able to pull the victim out of with
our bare hands after twenty minutes. Moser said. The six
foot replica of female Genitalia was installed thirteen years ago
outside of Microbiology and Virology Department in the city of
Tubingin or Tubingin, it is worth and again ending with
a great sentence, if you had to guess how much
(47:27):
a third? How tall is this? A six foot vagina?
Was two hundred thousand US dollars.
Speaker 1 (47:35):
I love it that they've just given the price.
Speaker 2 (47:38):
Money well spent. Wow, Chloe, Where can they find you?
Where can they buy tickets today? To see you tonight?
Speaker 4 (47:45):
Well tonight, I'm in Denver.
Speaker 3 (47:47):
Tomorrow I'm gonna be stuck inside of a vagina sculpture,
but thank you.
Speaker 4 (47:52):
Tonight I am at Denver Comedy Underground.
Speaker 3 (47:54):
Tickets are available on my website Chloeidcliffe dot com, or
there's a link in all of my bios on all
my socials, which are all at Chloe Badcliff like my
last name Radcliffe but bad But yes, it's at the
Denver Company Underground tonight, seven thirty December ninth.
Speaker 4 (48:11):
You should come.
Speaker 2 (48:12):
Bananimals, go dresses. Bananas will look great for the taping.
Speaker 3 (48:16):
If she has a couple of bananas, Yeah, get the
little yellow heads.
Speaker 2 (48:19):
In there, get your super brews, put on your at
Leisure slide inside of banana costume and represent Denver.
Speaker 4 (48:25):
Get in there.
Speaker 3 (48:26):
I'm doing my I am doing and Scotty, I'm doing
my solo show Cheat, which you brought up on Friday
of this week. December twelfth in New York.
Speaker 4 (48:34):
So that's it. Ours Nova, all.
Speaker 1 (48:37):
These tickets, Ours Nova is still going.
Speaker 4 (48:38):
Ours Nova's still going. Man, We're still out there. Yeah,
it's great.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
That's good to know.
Speaker 4 (48:42):
All tickets are on my website Chloreadcliffe dot com. Go
check that out.
Speaker 2 (48:46):
Great show. I loved it so how we became friends.
I went and saw it so good. All right, Well
that'll do it. Thanks to everybody on Exactly Right. Thank
you Chloe, Thank you, Curdie B. Great to see you,
and congratulations on your newfound freedom. Friend. Congratulate Bananas. Put
(49:09):
it on a shirt. Bananas is an Exactly Right media production.
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine. The catchy Bananas
theme song was composed and performed by Kahon.
Speaker 1 (49:20):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 2 (49:23):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hartstart.
Speaker 1 (49:26):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot,
part time employee.
Speaker 2 (49:30):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars
Host
Scotty Landes
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