December 16, 2025 • 43 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk about how a missing driveway mystery turns out to be a scam, thieves steal thousands of escargot snails and In-N-Out removes number 67 from ticket orders!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you ready, Scottie, I'm ready, buddy, I'm ready to
laugh and laugh and laf.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Missing driveway mystery turns out to be a scam. Well, okay,
lot of there's so many levels to this. Well, it's crazy.
A missing driveway, missing drive was just the beginning, the
tip of the iceberg to this mystery.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, well, let's dive and get next to that deep,
deep submerged ice as we park it right there?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
For bananas? Would you silent pieces? Would you believe? Guys, girls,
(01:02):
non binary palace, Welcome to bananas. That right over there, screenwriter,
extraordinary Scottie landis that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Over there is my guy? I describe him as voluptuous
Kurt Brown older Kurtie B. Has any male ever described
you as voluptuous before?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
When I'm happy, I'm very proud to be.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Described as Do you have any tour dates coming up?
You gotta stay it up? You wantn't know?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh? Hell yeah, baby, Well, Scottie, you and I will
be together in Philadelphia February seventh. Okay, I'll be there
February sixth through the eighth doing stand up at Healing Club,
and then we'll be together again next the weekend after
(01:48):
February fourteenth, Valentine's Day at Cap City Baby in Austin, Texas.
I will be there February thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth, So
come on out see us be.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Triple dip, triple dimp. Well, I can't wait, Texas, get
ready for us. We're not gonna mess with you. But
if you could make sure that your power grid can
supply heat to the hotels that were staying in in February,
that would just mean oh so much, very much to us.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
As you had a day of pitches, didn't you.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I had pitches and then I also just got back
from the dermatologists. Went great, nothing concerning.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, you were at the dermatologist that whole time in
between when we recorded this morning and when we recorded
this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
No, I had a pitch also. The pitch went great too.
But guys, dude, Browne animals, Baye animals and animals, guys,
go to the dermatologist. You gotta get those freckles and
moles checked out. Do it now, don't put it off.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So that's what you were doing. That's what you're doing.
You got a mole check, anything else, anything, did a.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Full annual scan. That's all I was doing, it's sheet.
I had nothing concerning I wear SPF fifty plus on
my face every day. You should have seen doctor Ken
every day. Yeah, it's called Jackson Lane is their company
and their damn good. And I was like, what else
do I need to do for like a routine or whatever.
She's like, whatever you're doing is working. See in a year.
(03:13):
And the funniest part was, and I took a photo
of it in the exam room. There's like ten rooms.
It's always the same one that I'm always in every year,
and you can see apartments and houses. It's the second
floor and there's a couple of trees, but they removed
on the trees and then you know, you have to
strip down and then I put on a gown. Yeah,
and I was like, this is so crazy that all
(03:35):
the people that live in these multiple houses and apartments
can see right through these trees into just people changing
all the time. And then I was like, nattis are
tinted or mirrored. And then I drove by and they're
like ten percent tinted. Like I was standing in there
a little too long to.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Try and see if you could see people inside.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well, no, that inside looking out feeling a little too
confident that they couldn't see me. To the good people
of North Glendale, I am deeply sorry. I hope all
the husbands appreciate that their wives will now appreciate them more.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
They love it, they love it so much.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
But I did last week and kurty b I taught
my first screenwriting excuse me, feature pitching go thirty five
people show first of all, I expected five. At the
Upright Systems Brigade, I did a free workshop for how
to pitch features.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, you're giving out you this information for free.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Pal first one's free, Kurt, you give them a little taste.
But I showed up and our good friend Rachel Olsen
was like, over fifty people have signed up. She means
She was like, that probably means twenty. I'll show up.
That's how these things usually go. But it was packed.
Everybody asked really smart and great questions. I did about
forty five minutes of a lecture and then did about
an hour and fifteen of Q and a who And
(04:52):
it was a great experience and I can't wait to
do it again. And it's just one step further to
me hopefully one day being a visiting professor, that's what
you want. Universities all around the world.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's what you want. Baby, That's what I was thinking.
I was thinking about looking into seeing if there was
any like things that, uh cause I live right near
Seaton Hall, and seeing if there was any jobs like
that that, you know, it would be fun to do
one class.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I love academia. I love it.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Are you kidding me? I love being on a college campus.
I love the idea that there's a place that just
built and exists just for knowledge transmission.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I love a men I love it.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It's so cool. It's a neat concept. And I do
understand why there's certain people who are just in school
for like their entire life, because it just feels like, well,
this is the best of all of it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, but they also need to lock down tuition. They
need tuition rates to be paused for all state schools.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I think it has to fully collapse. I think that,
I think the whole education. I think people have to
be like, well, we're not going anymore. This is insane.
And I think once they do that, it's going to collapse,
and then it'll rebuild itself in some way.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah. I agree. The hot goss around my neighborhood is.
So I'm on this WhatsApp chat with every single person
in this neighborhood and I'm the youngest. There's maybe two
people younger than me, but it's like ninety five people
older than me, and then myself and three people that
are younger ish. So you know, they report little things,
Hey do anybody know locksmith? Hey there's a coyote on
(06:31):
this road, But yesterday there was Hey, there's a bike
in front of my apartment. And then an hour later,
same person goes, actually, I just realized that my bike
from my garage was stolen, so this isn't mine. And
then somebody goes found a bike. A different person about
three hours later goes, oh, no, found a bike. Is
(06:53):
this your bike? And the woman goes yes, and then
he goes, I'll take it in for you. Your bike fine,
and everybody's putting Littlemoji's yay awesome confetti, and then that
guy goes, wait, someone stole my bike out of my garage.
So some bike thief. And I know, bicycles went from
(07:13):
really crappy like back of kmart style bicycle to an
okay bike to a better bike. Just was upgrading stealing
bikes and ditching the former bike.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
That's so crazy. Also, I think that this is very
com like, Okay, so that's crazy that that happened. Because
when I first moved into my house in La, I
don't know, it was like two third fourth week we
were there.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Like, I had bought Laura a bike when we moved
to La and I had it in the driveway of
our place. But the driveway goes all the way up
the side of the house. Yeah, I have a gate.
It's a it's you know, it's hip, it's hip high.
It's not a gate that's going to keep anybody out,
but it's just like a you have to hop it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And I agree.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
So somebody hopped the gate, walked all the way up
my I have way stole the bike. And then I
wake up in the morning and this is such a
weird story, and I see cops down the street on
my wock and I'm like, look, there's cops there right now,
So I'm going to walk down and it turns out
(08:17):
that Jimmy Kimmel's daughter's laptop had been stolen and it
has a tracker on it because it's a fucking laptop,
and they tracked it to this house on my block
in my neighborhood that was apparently notorious for like this
dude who was a drug addict.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I'm starting to see a pattern here, and.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
So they're there, so like that's weird enough as it is. Also,
I had just moved into this neighborhood. I'm like, this
is welcome.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
To the neighborhood. Get ready, welcome to hell.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And and so I was like, hey, when you have
a second, I need to report stolen bike. He comes
back like a two hours later. He comes over. I
give him a whole report and he's like okay, and
and then he goes away. And then he comes back
like a half hour later and he goes heym said
it was a blue bike, right. I was like yeah.
(09:12):
And then he's like, come on with me, and we
walked down and the bike is just in the person's
front yard.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, did want to go those two blocks on foot?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
By god, he stole a bike at the top that
rode and then left it in his own front yard.
So crazy, Like what a crazy move. Also, the cop
was elated because he solved a crime.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah that is that's what I bet you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
He's never solved a crime.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah, that's right. He actually did the job that deep
down in his heart he wanted to do when he
signed up for it. I want to help people.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And that was the level of joy that he had.
That of like reuniting me with this bicycle, is that
he felt like, this is why I started this job.
I started this job because I wanted to help people,
like find things. And then of course worse, the reality
of being a cop in la is like, yeah, your
bike's gone and nothing's coming back.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Oh yeah, of course, yes, all my friends have gotten
their bike stolen. I have one guy bought it back.
But we did a story like that on here. It
was like on off or up or whatever. Yeah, yeah,
it was. I just love that this one bike thief
went and they went in the same direction, just right
up the road, just upgrading their bike as they went,
and then they finally got to one that was the
right fit and they rode it to the sunshine. They'll
(10:27):
never catch whoever it was.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's yeah, that's like it was little that's a little
red riding hood story right there.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
He found the bike that was just right.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, yeah, good for him or her. Women can be
criminals to take can, and so can non binary friends.
Let's dedicate this episode to the good and decent people
of Barnett, Vermont. Yes, Barnett has a massive, booming population
of sixteen hundred proud Vermonters just luxuriating in warm baths
(10:58):
of maple. Sirup hmm, shout out Barnett, You're on the
map baby.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Here it is missing driveway mystery turns out to be
a scam local contractor out of thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
This was on.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Localthreenews dot com. Oh written by Sierra Rucker. When you're
looking for news about driveways being stolen, there is no
one better than Sierra Rucker. Rucker, Now see if you
can follow this story, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I want to try desperately.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I read the whole thing. I then had to go
watch the video in order for me to fully understand
what is going on here. Okay, some questions. I love
this opening. Some questions are finally being answered regarding the
missing driveway.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Okay, that just is the opening.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So this so they report get I'm assuming what this
means is they reported on it earlier in the week.
But it does seem like a shoddy job of just
saying the missing driveway. Turns out the job was a scam.
Page Batton real ator told Local three on Monday she
(12:14):
was looking for the workers in trucks captured on neighbors cameras.
The trucks. This is such so poorly ridden, Sierra. I'm sorry,
maybe it's maybe it's your first article you've written. The
trucks were seen removing Baton's driveway and hauling it off.
(12:34):
The clues eventually led to Local contract I can't even
read this. Okay, here's here's what happened.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Give the gist, buddy.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So so neighbors. So it's a it's a house that's
for sale. Okay, that's got for sale. Sign up. A
contracting truck shows up one day and just takes the driveway,
bray sarves it out of the earth, breaks up all
the concrete, loads it into it, and literally the only
(13:03):
thing that's left is just dirt. So the realtor shows
up the next day to show the house and there
is no driveway to this house. Oh so crazy. And
the neighbors were like, neighbors alerted her. Yeah, these guys
came and they just took the driveway away. We thought,
maybe you guys wanted the driveway taken away. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So then she tracks down who it was and it's
just this, you know, concrete contractor. Who was And so
here's what happens, And it's a scam. So someone and
he shows all the texts and everything, a number of
texts saying they need a driveway removed, but they're out
of town owners. So they'll mail a check to them.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
So they say, we'll pay you for half up front.
So they send a check for half of the job.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But in the check they purposefully overpay.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, like a thousand fishing scam. Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And then ask for they say like, oh, I'm so sorry,
I overpaid, send me the rest of send me that
money back here, you can use my zell. And then
before that check clears and the job's already done, the
check bounces.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
I have been caught in this scam. You have been Yes,
keep going, but I this happened to me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And then so then these people had already removed, and
then the people and then and then these poor contractors
then had to come back and install a brand like
and and do it for free, and so like they
just had They just did two jobs for free and
also lost money on it. I mean, like so so
fucking mean, especially a concrete contractor.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You know that's not like this dude is a multi
billionaire tycoons. He's not a tycoon. You know. He's a
working man who like is installing concrete driveways.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You know, he's a pillar of society.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
He's a hard I want a new driverway. I want
a new concrete driveway?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Are you kidding me? I'd slab it up out there,
you know, But I'm not walking around with clams falling
out of my pockets. He gotta work hard for your
money and McDonald's treat you right. I in New York,
I had my lunatic roommate. God, what do we call him?
On the Zane What I'm saying on the podcast Zane
gets scooped up by his concerned grandmother and aunt and
(15:27):
taken away in the night, And so I had to
pack up all his stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, what had he been doing?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Just so much weird stuff I think he had. It
was in a sort of fugue state where for two
weeks he had not remembered any time existing. He had
walked up to my then girlfriend and was asking her
about her aura color and then said his is black.
And then he goes, wait, have I been acting weird?
And she goes, what do you mean? He goes, I
(15:54):
don't remember anything for the last two weeks. And then he
was taken away when I was away and apparently just
laid in a ball on the floor fetal position in
a living room. All his aunt bought my luggage, one
of my suitcases and packed up the stuff, and they
just never saw him again. And so I need a
roommate post haaste, too sweet, one of those two I needed?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
What sweet? What language is toot? Sweet?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I think French? Is it?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Have you seen that guy online? It was just like,
I don't drink anymore, but you know, I'll do it.
I'll do some toot. I will do some toot. I
have a couple of beers and I will do some toot.
Have you seen that guy online?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No? But I like this guy sounds like my uncle Tippy.
It's yea. Too sweet is a French phrase that means
right away, straight away. So I was right too sweet
to Teddy, smell it t O U t d e
sweet like a hotel sweet wow, that's it means immediately
right away at once sweet means away, and then I
(16:59):
also said post great speed sales right both times, it's
the same thing. Any AnyWho tooth Sweet? I needed a roommates,
so I put an ad up on tooth Sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
By the way, if the cocaine ever becomes illegal, that's
got to be the first branding.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Tooth Sweet, first one to hit the market. And it's
also plays into the title gives you makes you poop
your pants right away, too sweet. Even though it's regulated,
it's still got tons of baby x lax in it. Yeah,
so I put a couple adds up in the places
that used to do this. This is like two thousand
(17:35):
and six, so I think one on Craigsists, but I
also think one on Facebook. And a lovely looking British
woman named Monica James reached out, said, Scottie, I'm moving
to Brooklyn. The place looks great, the rent seems great.
I work in this industry. I will send you a
(17:55):
check for security deposit.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
And how did you know she was beautiful?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
She had a picture, she had a whole profile, whole
Facebook profile.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It was on Facebook. Oh okay, so Facebook, right, Yeah,
gorgeous woman reaches out. You're like, wait, am I going
to have a gorgeous British roommate.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, and I will. I you know, we're not the
kind of guys to give numerical value to somebody's attractiveness.
But I would say, if if you can picture the
best looking club sandwich that you can imagine, she was
towards that. She wasn't a runover grilled cheese in a
removed dirt driveway.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
So you're talking, and you're talking Denny's model level of
a sandwich. That's how attractive she was. Yeah, you got
to be the best if you're making it into the
Denny's menu picture.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, she's not on a billboard. This isn't a Panera
billboard looking woman. But this is a Denny's menu looking
woman for sure. And also I don't mind talking about
her in this way because she doesn't exist. Is the
real story, Well, sure does.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
She's a model from South Africa.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
She worked in she worked in like busy, this administration,
but like for a company.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And then she's like, this administration is the perfect scam job.
It literally sounds like a scam.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, and so I got three checks in the mail,
all within four days, three checks, watermarked printed checks, sign checks,
they were from her boss. One was for rent in
first months, the other one was to get a mattress,
and the third one was for something else. I'd never
catched the third one. I did catch the first one,
which was I think for like eight hundred. And then
(19:28):
she's like, and by the way, we're going to send
just I have a mattress being delivered. If you can
pay when they arrive, no problem. And so I should
be ashamed or humiliated about this, but honestly, this happens
to so many people.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Cleared, No eight.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Hundred dollars went in the bank, but it takes a day.
So then she goes, hey, can you send me over
Western Union or whatever it was Western Union? Can you
send me back four hundred of that. I'm going to
put it towards whatever. And I said sure, So I
walked to Western Union, sent four hundred dollars, and then
another check arrived the next morning. And the way they
(20:06):
really get you and there, I'm sure we have great listenership,
and I'm sure many of these people have been ripped
off in the same way. They kind of push you
to pay quickly where they're like, oh great, and that
mattress is arriving today, So if you can go whatever,
We'll make sure everything's cleared, so you can just sign
for it. Can you send back another like five hundred
of the twelve hundred dollars check I sent and the
third check I was in Manhattan, I was working as
(20:29):
a teen wit.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
You sent, you sent more money, you sent you went to.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I sent I think thirteen dollars and at the time
I think I had sixteen hundred dollars total on my
bank account. But Western Union out in Brooklyn just fired
those two off right away to London. So they went
to London. And then the third guy. I went to
Western Union next to Wacovia, which was my bank at
(20:54):
the time, and the guy goes, what it's this for?
And I go, it's for a mattress that's being delivered it.
And he goes, do you know this person? I said no.
He goes, do not cash this check? And I go why.
He goes, this is if has the mattress arrived? No,
do not do this. The guy saved me probably another
thousand dollars. And then I went over to Walkovia and
(21:14):
I tried to withdraw money, and my balance was I
don't know the second thing hadn't gone through, I guess,
so I had like seven hundred dollars left. And then
I tried to report it to you know, I went
to Brooklyn Police station. I talked to the teller there,
and the teller at WALKOVI is like, this happens all
the time. Now never take a check, or if you do,
(21:35):
wait until it doesn't bounce. Both bounced, So then I
also had a fee for bouncing checks. And so yeah,
I went down to three hundred total dollars with about
a week to pay rent where I thought I was
going to be living with a lovely British woman who
we shared so many similar interests. And then they had
the goll to continue messaging me about the third check
(21:56):
and could I send him more for the flights, And
so I just kept copying it and putting on a
document and I give it to the police and they
were like, the Brooklyn Police Department, speaking of not going
to track down a stolen bike, they don't give a shit.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
That's like an international wire fraud.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
There's undred two thousand dollars, like for thirteen hundred dollars,
they were like, you're an idiot. So Ever, since it
was a good lesson to learn at a young age,
because I would never fall for it again. But it's
the exact same scam these driveway guys got.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
What I don't understand is this What I don't understand
what how they convinced you to go send the first
amount of money.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Because they oversend. They send you a check bigger than
what's required. And then they go, my boss put a
little extra in there for me to buy luggage or
to buy my plane ticket. Sorry, he accidentally send you
twelve hundred. I need eight hundred of that back to
buy my flight. Thank you so much, God, you're the best,
and cheers. So they overpay, and then before they they're
(22:58):
smart enough to know the checks tech one or two
days to clear, so before the bank tells you it bounced,
they ask you for a smaller, less suspect amount. So
then you're like, oh, this is And the checks worked
like they were accepted in the ATMs they deposited, they
just didn't clear. So anyways, I can feel this person's pain,
Monica James, what a great time we would have had
(23:21):
living together.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I got the adventures you could have had.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Oh, we had so much in common. It's almost like
we had too much in common.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I know it really is.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And that's why I'm sure AI boyfriend's girlfriends and partners
will be a very huge thing, because I had a
whole life planned out for us and we were talking
for four days. Oops, you want to do another crime? One,
of course, let's do another crime one. I have a
couple of fun ones. I have another New York one too, Okay,
(23:53):
Naomi H or Naomi H sent this in. You can
send yours to the Bananas Podcast on Instagram or the
Bananas Podcast at gmail dot We also have a website
bananaspodcast dot com. We also have a Patreon and it's
super fun and we DM and group chat and just
have a have a ball. We do. We have a
ball over there. Naomi H sent this in. Kurti B.
(24:16):
This was on CNN, written by Katherine Nichols and at
Katherine Nichols wrote it. You know it's about one thing,
what stolen snails? Yeah, more than one hundred thousand dollars
worth of s cargo stolen from a French snail farmer
with Michelin clientele. Yes, so the first sentence is a
(24:36):
lot like that headline. More than one hundred thousand dollars
of es cargo. We're stolen from a French nail farmer.
Earlier this week, French media reported leaving the suppliers scrambling
to replenish his snail stock in time for the holiday season.
And don't you just like gathering around the fireplace with
the whole family and eating snails?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I would love it, you would, I would love it.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Can I tell you my michell I just wrote it Michelin,
a Michelin joke, a Michelin story joke, and I performed
it to dead silence. I will not perform it ever again,
but I will tell you I'm a I think a
work life balance is important. You know, I'm a lot
like the Michelin man in that way.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Sure, I got a busy life being the weird staypuff
marshmallow man of tires. But I'll take some time out
to give some stars to some fancy restaurants.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh, I think you could work this joke. I can
see where this joke's going.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah, no, to dead silence on that one.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
What represents fine dining, elevated dining and the rubbery, dirtiest
thing the only thing in your car that touches the
ground the entire.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Time made out of that.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
More than a white blob that looks like a moving
butt plug. Okay, this, I think you could work that
joke because it is. It's so bizarre that it really
is the entire company that started the awards. This is
really not the post that we hoped we would write today.
Approaching the holidays, Less Cargo de grand Crew wrote on Tuesday,
(26:15):
we were victims of a bugglary and there our stock
of fresh and frozen snails were stolen. A family business,
Less Cargo to Grand Crew breeds around three hundred and
fifty thousand snails annually. What of business one.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Hundred and fifty thousand snails annually?
Speaker 1 (26:35):
That is of so many snaps?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Smells?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's got smell horrible, does it?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
I mean I don't. I don't think snails smell bad,
but like.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I've never picked up a snail and smelled it now
that you're saying.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I feel like they smell pretty fresh. I don't know,
but I mean maybe they're like feeding them rotting garbage.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
That's my mind. What they eat I don't know much
of me. I think they plants.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I think France, right, So like it would be like
a lot of fresh plants. I don't know. I wonder
if it has a smell.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Do you or anybody you know work at an s
cargo farm? Does it smell? Let us know in great
la grand detail.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
La grand crew detail. The crew was to.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Know they raised three hundred and fifty thousand snails annually
preparing the s cargo with quote the greatest of care.
The snail theft is a shock, incomprehensible, a real blow
for all the team, the farmer said, which is based
because everybody who's working now talk about small towns. I
(27:42):
want to visit. It is in boozy francez u z
y o u z y o u z why buzzy France.
Overnight from Sunday to Monday, thieves entered the farm undetected
and broke into the building housing the snails. French public
broadcaster France Info reported the fence around the property had
(28:06):
been cut. It said once inside, the thieves were met
with shelves full of snails and jars fresh snails, frozen snails.
I mean we're talking all the snails you can.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
All these snails. So they're stealing snails that have already
been processed. They're not selling, they're not stealing snails that
are alive and wild.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
One of the easiest animals to catch. Though, Yeah right, man.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I just don't know how you get enough that makes
it worthwhile scoop them.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Neither scoop them. Jean Matthew d'avournie, the owner of the farm,
told France Info that images were shown of the theft
with the refrigerators totally empty. They cleaned them out, cleaned
them out, but some of the stock taken was not
prepared for consumption. The outlet reported the shells of the
snails had not been properly cleaned, and the butter that
(28:57):
accompanies thees cargo had not been made been made. Davnay
says you cannot consume it directly, meaning I think it
would be not good to eat. But maybe this is
how they solve the crime. They sell dirty snails. Dirty snails,
good name for a memoir. In total, the thieves stole
(29:17):
nine hundred and ninety pounds of snails.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Dude, that's an enormous amount of snails.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
That's a lot of snails.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
That's if you had those snails in your trunk, your trunk,
your your your car would be ride low.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yeah, if your poojoh is loaded up with nine hundred
and ninety pounds of the snails, you're going to drive
l roux And this is we tease. But for this
poor business, let's cargo to Grand Crew. We'll try to
replenish its stocks before Christmas in the years, given that
sixty percent of its annual sales are made during this period.
(29:51):
So we're sorry to that family. If they're good people,
If they're bad people, sit on your thumb. Davernay had
been able to supply snails for many restaurants, including Michelin
Star clientele. Since the has not been able to since
the theft, other snail farmers have stepped in to sell
Dauvergne some of their stock at reduced prices. We're ready
(30:12):
to help him to save his season, Alexandri Mayer, another
snail farmer from the Vosges, told France for ins Info.
So basically local farmers were pitching in a little bit
and giving them some discount snails.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I feel like, I feel like you're going to be
able to find these people. Where are they unloading, where
is the where is the fence? For nine one thousand
pounds one ton one ton of.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
One hundred thousand dollars worth of snails. Who's who's got
that kind of clamps?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Who's fencing this for? I mean, like you have, nobody's
buying them in that many of them. No one's buying
one hundred thousand dollars worth of snails at once.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
And our yea, our restauranteurs or chefs going to the
back alleys of their rests and buying cheap snails out
of the back of a truck. Maybe they are maybe,
maybe they are, maybe they are, Oh sach blue. Yeah,
I thought that was so interesting. So a thousand pounds
of snails is one hundred thousand dollars, So that's.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
A pound of snails is one hundred dollars. A pound
of snails is one hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
That seems crazy to me because that means when you
order es cargo, you're there's breaking even on.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That pretty pricey.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
But I mean it's right.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
You and I used to order it all the time.
We used to eat a lot of French food when
we were up and coming. Whenever we would get a
decent paycheck, we'd go to Lucienne or one of those places,
and the best I've ever had, the only time I've
ever really really loved it was somebody made them any
small puff pastry that was full of butter and garlic
and parsley. So you ate it. You popped it like
a doughnut hole, but it s carg Yeah, you would
(32:02):
have loved it. Man, Text your snails folks this holiday season.
Keep an eye on your snails. You never know when
sticky fingers are going to come and steal your s cargo.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I remember in my twenties, I remember going to this
restaurant in New York called Love Bernadin. Oh yeah, and
it's like one of the best restaurants in the world.
It was great, and it was expensive. Then this is
probably in you know, the early two thousands, but I remember, like,
I don't know, for two people, it's like two hundred
and fifty bucks or something. Yeah, now two hundred and
(32:37):
eighty dollars per person without wine. And I do remember
it as being of all the meals I've ever had,
lumberd Aden was the best meal I've ever had in
my life. And there's just no way I'm ever going
to go back.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I just can't justify that's profane, like, what is it
going to be.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
It's going to be a seven hundred dollars or meal
for two people or something I can I'll never go back.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I am with you. I feel like there's a Werner
Herzog quote about fine dining. He's I think it's I
find fine dining vial. I'd rather eat a bag of
chips sitting on the curb. And when I read that,
I started going, you know what, He's right, because it's
also the thing and we've all you know, if you're
(33:24):
city folks, sometimes you get treated to a nice meal,
but you're not even hungry than you end up hitting
yeah drive through or a chicken truck or slice on
the way home, and yeah, two hundred and eighty. It's
the hunger game. Sometimes when you're sitting in those places,
you're just like, Yeah, if the proletariat shows up with
pitchforks and starts murdering everybody, I'd be like, just get it.
(33:46):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
It's justified.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I'm with you, guys. I'm a guest here. I just
take my shirt off right away. I'm like, I'm with you.
I wasn't enjoying these scargos.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
We have a you have scar good juice on your sure.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
No, I was spitting it back at them. It's symbolic
the shell of my body.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
All right, I'll teesus into some thumbers in and out.
Nix's six to seven from ticket system due to six
to seven trend is olive.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
At the age of six seven. Oh my god. Yeah, okay,
you could tell me more because to me, as a
not parent and somebody who's never around children, it doesn't
bother me at all.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
So it doesn't bother me. It's just the ubiquitousness of
it Isn't is stupid anyway?
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Well, yes, we'll talk, we'll get into it. Thumbs up.
Scott F. Wants to give two thumbs way up for
my wife and me. This is Scott F. Not me.
I'm Scott Yell. Tiffany earned a big promotion as managing
director at a global investment bank. Congratulations, way to be
employed around the holidays. Scott is so very proud of you.
I am too, me too, but Scott F is just
(34:52):
more proud of you. Scott worked sixteen years at the
same company. They started to like shift them around to
different roles, and then the position they put them in
with eliminated he was freaking out, and then he discovered
a new career path and now he's heading up risk
and compliance for a cybersecurity company. Better pay, better benefits.
Thumbs up to you two. Way to be very employed.
(35:13):
Way too a rare thing these days, but we're still
We're happy for you. Congratulations. What a power couple you
two have, because Scott and Tiffany thumbs up. Fun thumbs up. Indeed,
Wes Wes, Wes, you don't meet to me Weses anymore.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I have a nephew named Wes Wesley.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I don't mind. I like Western beef. Yeah, baby, we
used to call that Wes beef. That was like a
good uh, that was like Sigourney beaver. Wes is thumbing
up his fiance, who has been supporting him through the
last nine months of med school. He does it in
different cities every single month, doing different rotations at different hospitals.
So he's in a different city doing rotations at whatever
(35:53):
hospital he needs to go to, all the while, his
nameless fiance has been working a cutting edge bad as
aerospace engineering job while also taking care of their dog
at home, and so Wes is just thumbing up his
nameless but beloved fiance thumbs up. Similarly, Grace Dunehoff or
(36:15):
Dunhoff is thumbing up her nameless fiance for pursuing his
dream of getting his PhD, all while they're also planning
a wedding, all while they're training a new puppy.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Puppies aren't easy folks. They take a lot of work
to do. Is it worth it? Of course it's worth it?
Is it two years of hell? Bingo bango, Wait until
you're settled in every other way in life and last
but not least, And I love this one. Thumbs up.
I think it's a lease, but it could be. Alice
A ls Let's go at lease is thumbing up her
(36:53):
friend Anne, who's an amazing librarian in San Francisco and
who runs the teen Center at the Civic Center Library
in San Francisco. An goes by Anna Banana and her
handle online is Bananimals, which is great. So Eleez says,
I vote you have Anne on your show as a guest.
You know what we should talk about something like that.
(37:14):
In twenty twenty six, the patreo maybe from the Patreon,
we have a guest and you can be our guest
for a full episode of bananas. That could be a
We haven't ever talked about this. This is me being like,
you know, that one thing we were talking about. I
think that'd be a nice little thing. If you join
the Patreon, maybe you can. Everybody's entered into a the lottery. Yeah,
(37:37):
Katie Levine can do a digital lottery ball drop and
we can have a guest that's one of you.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
I love that. It's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Hit me up with the six seven. I don't even
know what a six to seven on the menu is
at it in and out.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
It's on the menu. It's literally for the numbers sixty seven, Oh,
for the number sixty seven.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
So here it is.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
This is by Ben Hooper, Best in the Biz.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
On he is the best in the biz.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Actually, yeah, I'm at upi dot com. West Coast fast
food chain and out Burger has removed the number sixty
seven from its ticket order system due to the viral
sixty seven trend. An employee at one of the chain's
restaurants initially reported on Reddit that they noticed the ticket
order system was skipping straight from sixty six to sixty eight,
(38:21):
and a worker at a Los Angeles location confirmed to
people dot com that the number was removed a month ago.
The removal comes after videos online showing crowds of rowdy
teenagers and young adults waiting for the sixty seven to
be called and responding by celebrating boisterously. The sixt' seven
trend has no specific meaning, but it is commonly believed
(38:42):
to originate with the song Dute Dute six' seven By.
Scripts have you seen this?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Song, no it.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Is it is the dumbest. Good it's so, dumb but
it's like dumb in a bad, Way like it's, dumb
and he's also like holding automatic. Weapons like if he
was just, STUPID i would be, Like, OH i love dumb.
Stupid this is like, stupid like bad. Stupid it's this.
(39:11):
Dude is it seems like?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Anyway not a Great, yeah he's a due, Dude yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Exactly the term was dubbed dictionary Dot COM's twenty twenty
five word of The, year which is crazy as it should.
BE i, mean dictionary dot. Com dictionary Dot COM's just
lost all respect to my. Book you're no, Webster dictionary dot.
COM i Know. Webster perhaps the most defining feature of
sixty seven is that it's impossible to. Define dictionary dot
(39:42):
com reported it's, meaningless, ubiquitous and. Nonsensical in other, words
it has all the hallmarks of brain. Rot it is
the logical endpoint of being perpetually, online, scrolling endlessly consuming
content fed to users by algorithms trained by other. ALGORITHMS,
whoa this is all on dictionary dot.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Com what a?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Website, WELL i mean NOW i take it. Back that was,
Pretty that was. Meaningful The Los angeles employee confirmed the
number sixty nine was also removed from the ordering system
for similarly viral but more soliciously defined. Reasons this, MAN
i had pitched this in one of my. Pitches it
(40:22):
was not even shown To. Jimmy it was a pitch
for because of the six to seven thing was going
so hard for a. While, yeah and it was a
it was like tied into college, basketball because college basketball
there was all these videos of as soon as the
like if it was like if one team scored sixty seven,
points the whole place would go. Crazy and it was
(40:44):
set up as like a true crime. Documentary so a
trailer for a true crime documentary in which people are
talking about how sixty nine used to be the funniest,
number but then six seven came, along sixty seven came,
along and it was a person dressed as a six
and a person dressed as a, seven and six just
(41:06):
seemed kind of like scared of. Seven and then they're,
like but whatever happened to sixty? Nine whatever happened to?
Nine and then you just see pictures of, nine you,
Know and then it's like and then there's a number,
five who's just like you gotta, ask, man why is
six afraid of? Seven? Huh why is six afraid of?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Seven that seems very topical and it seems on tone for.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That and then it's, like cause, seven eight, Nine see.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Now i'm lol and outline right there is are you kidding?
Me send us, home?
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Buddy oh, yeah give us just the title and then
do it on the next, one.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
BABY i. Will, shannon thank you for sending this. In
thanks to all the. Bananimals we just love the. Panannmals
we hope twenty twenty six is such a great year
for everybody, here because twenty twenty five was. Definitely they
keep getting, weirder and So kurt And i've we embrace the.
Weird we think it's we think it's, wonderful and we
(42:04):
hope you do. Too shannon sent this In richmond cat,
Cafe The Perfect bean temporarily closed for flooding after cat
turns on. WATER a cat flooded The Perfect Bean, Cafe,
kurt and we will get into it on the very
next episode of a little. Podcast the smallest little podcast
(42:27):
there ever Was. Bananas bananas is an exactly right media.
Production our producer and engineer Is Katie.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Levine the catchy banana theme song was composed and performed By.
Kahan artwork For bananas was designed By Travis, millard.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen kilgareff And
Georgia hartstart.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
And Lisa maggott is our full, human not a, robot
part time.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Employee you can listen To bananas on The iHeartRadio, App Apple, Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you get your, podcasts and please feel
free to rate and review as many times as you.
Can we love those five. Stars
Are you ready, Scottie, I'm ready, buddy, I'm ready to
laugh and laugh and laf.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Missing driveway mystery turns out to be a scam. Well, okay,
lot of there's so many levels to this. Well, it's crazy.
A missing driveway, missing drive was just the beginning, the
tip of the iceberg to this mystery.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
All right, well, let's dive and get next to that deep,
deep submerged ice as we park it right there?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
For bananas? Would you silent pieces? Would you believe? Guys, girls,
(01:02):
non binary palace, Welcome to bananas. That right over there, screenwriter,
extraordinary Scottie landis that.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Over there is my guy? I describe him as voluptuous
Kurt Brown older Kurtie B. Has any male ever described
you as voluptuous before?
Speaker 2 (01:20):
When I'm happy, I'm very proud to be.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
Described as Do you have any tour dates coming up?
You gotta stay it up? You wantn't know?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Oh? Hell yeah, baby, Well, Scottie, you and I will
be together in Philadelphia February seventh. Okay, I'll be there
February sixth through the eighth doing stand up at Healing Club,
and then we'll be together again next the weekend after
(01:48):
February fourteenth, Valentine's Day at Cap City Baby in Austin, Texas.
I will be there February thirteenth, fourteenth, and fifteenth, So
come on out see us be.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Triple dip, triple dimp. Well, I can't wait, Texas, get
ready for us. We're not gonna mess with you. But
if you could make sure that your power grid can
supply heat to the hotels that were staying in in February,
that would just mean oh so much, very much to us.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
As you had a day of pitches, didn't you.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I had pitches and then I also just got back
from the dermatologists. Went great, nothing concerning.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Well, you were at the dermatologist that whole time in
between when we recorded this morning and when we recorded
this afternoon.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
No, I had a pitch also. The pitch went great too.
But guys, dude, Browne animals, Baye animals and animals, guys,
go to the dermatologist. You gotta get those freckles and
moles checked out. Do it now, don't put it off.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
So that's what you were doing. That's what you're doing.
You got a mole check, anything else, anything, did a.
Speaker 1 (02:51):
Full annual scan. That's all I was doing, it's sheet.
I had nothing concerning I wear SPF fifty plus on
my face every day. You should have seen doctor Ken
every day. Yeah, it's called Jackson Lane is their company
and their damn good. And I was like, what else
do I need to do for like a routine or whatever.
She's like, whatever you're doing is working. See in a year.
(03:13):
And the funniest part was, and I took a photo
of it in the exam room. There's like ten rooms.
It's always the same one that I'm always in every year,
and you can see apartments and houses. It's the second
floor and there's a couple of trees, but they removed
on the trees and then you know, you have to
strip down and then I put on a gown. Yeah,
and I was like, this is so crazy that all
(03:35):
the people that live in these multiple houses and apartments
can see right through these trees into just people changing
all the time. And then I was like, nattis are
tinted or mirrored. And then I drove by and they're
like ten percent tinted. Like I was standing in there
a little too long to.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Try and see if you could see people inside.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Well, no, that inside looking out feeling a little too
confident that they couldn't see me. To the good people
of North Glendale, I am deeply sorry. I hope all
the husbands appreciate that their wives will now appreciate them more.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
They love it, they love it so much.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
But I did last week and kurty b I taught
my first screenwriting excuse me, feature pitching go thirty five
people show first of all, I expected five. At the
Upright Systems Brigade, I did a free workshop for how
to pitch features.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
Yeah, you're giving out you this information for free.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Pal first one's free, Kurt, you give them a little taste.
But I showed up and our good friend Rachel Olsen
was like, over fifty people have signed up. She means
She was like, that probably means twenty. I'll show up.
That's how these things usually go. But it was packed.
Everybody asked really smart and great questions. I did about
forty five minutes of a lecture and then did about
an hour and fifteen of Q and a who And
(04:52):
it was a great experience and I can't wait to
do it again. And it's just one step further to
me hopefully one day being a visiting professor, that's what
you want. Universities all around the world.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
That's what you want. Baby, That's what I was thinking.
I was thinking about looking into seeing if there was
any like things that, uh cause I live right near
Seaton Hall, and seeing if there was any jobs like
that that, you know, it would be fun to do
one class.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
I love academia. I love it.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Are you kidding me? I love being on a college campus.
I love the idea that there's a place that just
built and exists just for knowledge transmission.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
I love a men I love it.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
It's so cool. It's a neat concept. And I do
understand why there's certain people who are just in school
for like their entire life, because it just feels like, well,
this is the best of all of it.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
Yeah, but they also need to lock down tuition. They
need tuition rates to be paused for all state schools.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
I think it has to fully collapse. I think that,
I think the whole education. I think people have to
be like, well, we're not going anymore. This is insane.
And I think once they do that, it's going to collapse,
and then it'll rebuild itself in some way.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Yeah. I agree. The hot goss around my neighborhood is.
So I'm on this WhatsApp chat with every single person
in this neighborhood and I'm the youngest. There's maybe two
people younger than me, but it's like ninety five people
older than me, and then myself and three people that
are younger ish. So you know, they report little things,
Hey do anybody know locksmith? Hey there's a coyote on
(06:31):
this road, But yesterday there was Hey, there's a bike
in front of my apartment. And then an hour later,
same person goes, actually, I just realized that my bike
from my garage was stolen, so this isn't mine. And
then somebody goes found a bike. A different person about
three hours later goes, oh, no, found a bike. Is
(06:53):
this your bike? And the woman goes yes, and then
he goes, I'll take it in for you. Your bike fine,
and everybody's putting Littlemoji's yay awesome confetti, and then that
guy goes, wait, someone stole my bike out of my garage.
So some bike thief. And I know, bicycles went from
(07:13):
really crappy like back of kmart style bicycle to an
okay bike to a better bike. Just was upgrading stealing
bikes and ditching the former bike.
Speaker 2 (07:21):
That's so crazy. Also, I think that this is very
com like, Okay, so that's crazy that that happened. Because
when I first moved into my house in La, I
don't know, it was like two third fourth week we
were there.
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Yeah, And.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
Like, I had bought Laura a bike when we moved
to La and I had it in the driveway of
our place. But the driveway goes all the way up
the side of the house. Yeah, I have a gate.
It's a it's you know, it's hip, it's hip high.
It's not a gate that's going to keep anybody out,
but it's just like a you have to hop it.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
And I agree.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
So somebody hopped the gate, walked all the way up
my I have way stole the bike. And then I
wake up in the morning and this is such a
weird story, and I see cops down the street on
my wock and I'm like, look, there's cops there right now,
So I'm going to walk down and it turns out
(08:17):
that Jimmy Kimmel's daughter's laptop had been stolen and it
has a tracker on it because it's a fucking laptop,
and they tracked it to this house on my block
in my neighborhood that was apparently notorious for like this
dude who was a drug addict.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
I'm starting to see a pattern here, and.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
So they're there, so like that's weird enough as it is. Also,
I had just moved into this neighborhood. I'm like, this
is welcome.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
To the neighborhood. Get ready, welcome to hell.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
And and so I was like, hey, when you have
a second, I need to report stolen bike. He comes
back like a two hours later. He comes over. I
give him a whole report and he's like okay, and
and then he goes away. And then he comes back
like a half hour later and he goes heym said
it was a blue bike, right. I was like yeah.
(09:12):
And then he's like, come on with me, and we
walked down and the bike is just in the person's
front yard.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, did want to go those two blocks on foot?
Speaker 2 (09:22):
By god, he stole a bike at the top that
rode and then left it in his own front yard.
So crazy, Like what a crazy move. Also, the cop
was elated because he solved a crime.
Speaker 1 (09:35):
Yeah that is that's what I bet you.
Speaker 2 (09:37):
He's never solved a crime.
Speaker 1 (09:39):
Yeah, that's right. He actually did the job that deep
down in his heart he wanted to do when he
signed up for it. I want to help people.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
And that was the level of joy that he had.
That of like reuniting me with this bicycle, is that
he felt like, this is why I started this job.
I started this job because I wanted to help people,
like find things. And then of course worse, the reality
of being a cop in la is like, yeah, your
bike's gone and nothing's coming back.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Oh yeah, of course, yes, all my friends have gotten
their bike stolen. I have one guy bought it back.
But we did a story like that on here. It
was like on off or up or whatever. Yeah, yeah,
it was. I just love that this one bike thief
went and they went in the same direction, just right
up the road, just upgrading their bike as they went,
and then they finally got to one that was the
right fit and they rode it to the sunshine. They'll
(10:27):
never catch whoever it was.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's yeah, that's like it was little that's a little
red riding hood story right there.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (10:34):
He found the bike that was just right.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Yeah, yeah, good for him or her. Women can be
criminals to take can, and so can non binary friends.
Let's dedicate this episode to the good and decent people
of Barnett, Vermont. Yes, Barnett has a massive, booming population
of sixteen hundred proud Vermonters just luxuriating in warm baths
(10:58):
of maple. Sirup hmm, shout out Barnett, You're on the
map baby.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Here it is missing driveway mystery turns out to be
a scam local contractor out of thousands of dollars.
Speaker 1 (11:12):
This was on.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Localthreenews dot com. Oh written by Sierra Rucker. When you're
looking for news about driveways being stolen, there is no
one better than Sierra Rucker. Rucker, Now see if you
can follow this story, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
I want to try desperately.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
I read the whole thing. I then had to go
watch the video in order for me to fully understand
what is going on here. Okay, some questions. I love
this opening. Some questions are finally being answered regarding the
missing driveway.
Speaker 1 (11:51):
Okay, that just is the opening.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
So this so they report get I'm assuming what this
means is they reported on it earlier in the week.
But it does seem like a shoddy job of just
saying the missing driveway. Turns out the job was a scam.
Page Batton real ator told Local three on Monday she
(12:14):
was looking for the workers in trucks captured on neighbors cameras.
The trucks. This is such so poorly ridden, Sierra. I'm sorry,
maybe it's maybe it's your first article you've written. The
trucks were seen removing Baton's driveway and hauling it off.
(12:34):
The clues eventually led to Local contract I can't even
read this. Okay, here's here's what happened.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
Give the gist, buddy.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
So so neighbors. So it's a it's a house that's
for sale. Okay, that's got for sale. Sign up. A
contracting truck shows up one day and just takes the driveway,
bray sarves it out of the earth, breaks up all
the concrete, loads it into it, and literally the only
(13:03):
thing that's left is just dirt. So the realtor shows
up the next day to show the house and there
is no driveway to this house. Oh so crazy. And
the neighbors were like, neighbors alerted her. Yeah, these guys
came and they just took the driveway away. We thought,
maybe you guys wanted the driveway taken away. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
So then she tracks down who it was and it's
just this, you know, concrete contractor. Who was And so
here's what happens, And it's a scam. So someone and
he shows all the texts and everything, a number of
texts saying they need a driveway removed, but they're out
of town owners. So they'll mail a check to them.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
So they say, we'll pay you for half up front.
So they send a check for half of the job.
Speaker 1 (13:55):
Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
But in the check they purposefully overpay.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yes, like a thousand fishing scam. Oh boy.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And then ask for they say like, oh, I'm so sorry,
I overpaid, send me the rest of send me that
money back here, you can use my zell. And then
before that check clears and the job's already done, the
check bounces.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
I have been caught in this scam. You have been Yes,
keep going, but I this happened to me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
And then so then these people had already removed, and
then the people and then and then these poor contractors
then had to come back and install a brand like
and and do it for free, and so like they
just had They just did two jobs for free and
also lost money on it. I mean, like so so
fucking mean, especially a concrete contractor.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
You know that's not like this dude is a multi
billionaire tycoons. He's not a tycoon. You know. He's a
working man who like is installing concrete driveways.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
You know, he's a pillar of society.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
He's a hard I want a new driverway. I want
a new concrete driveway?
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Are you kidding me? I'd slab it up out there,
you know, But I'm not walking around with clams falling
out of my pockets. He gotta work hard for your
money and McDonald's treat you right. I in New York,
I had my lunatic roommate. God, what do we call him?
On the Zane What I'm saying on the podcast Zane
gets scooped up by his concerned grandmother and aunt and
(15:27):
taken away in the night, And so I had to
pack up all his stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:31):
Yeah, what had he been doing?
Speaker 1 (15:33):
Just so much weird stuff I think he had. It
was in a sort of fugue state where for two
weeks he had not remembered any time existing. He had
walked up to my then girlfriend and was asking her
about her aura color and then said his is black.
And then he goes, wait, have I been acting weird?
And she goes, what do you mean? He goes, I
(15:54):
don't remember anything for the last two weeks. And then he
was taken away when I was away and apparently just
laid in a ball on the floor fetal position in
a living room. All his aunt bought my luggage, one
of my suitcases and packed up the stuff, and they
just never saw him again. And so I need a
roommate post haaste, too sweet, one of those two I needed?
Speaker 2 (16:17):
What sweet? What language is toot? Sweet?
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I think French? Is it?
Speaker 2 (16:25):
Have you seen that guy online? It was just like,
I don't drink anymore, but you know, I'll do it.
I'll do some toot. I will do some toot. I
have a couple of beers and I will do some toot.
Have you seen that guy online?
Speaker 1 (16:37):
No? But I like this guy sounds like my uncle Tippy.
It's yea. Too sweet is a French phrase that means
right away, straight away. So I was right too sweet
to Teddy, smell it t O U t d e
sweet like a hotel sweet wow, that's it means immediately
right away at once sweet means away, and then I
(16:59):
also said post great speed sales right both times, it's
the same thing. Any AnyWho tooth Sweet? I needed a roommates,
so I put an ad up on tooth Sweet.
Speaker 2 (17:09):
By the way, if the cocaine ever becomes illegal, that's
got to be the first branding.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Tooth Sweet, first one to hit the market. And it's
also plays into the title gives you makes you poop
your pants right away, too sweet. Even though it's regulated,
it's still got tons of baby x lax in it. Yeah,
so I put a couple adds up in the places
that used to do this. This is like two thousand
(17:35):
and six, so I think one on Craigsists, but I
also think one on Facebook. And a lovely looking British
woman named Monica James reached out, said, Scottie, I'm moving
to Brooklyn. The place looks great, the rent seems great.
I work in this industry. I will send you a
(17:55):
check for security deposit.
Speaker 2 (17:57):
And how did you know she was beautiful?
Speaker 1 (17:58):
She had a picture, she had a whole profile, whole
Facebook profile.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It was on Facebook. Oh okay, so Facebook, right, Yeah,
gorgeous woman reaches out. You're like, wait, am I going
to have a gorgeous British roommate.
Speaker 1 (18:09):
Yes, and I will. I you know, we're not the
kind of guys to give numerical value to somebody's attractiveness.
But I would say, if if you can picture the
best looking club sandwich that you can imagine, she was
towards that. She wasn't a runover grilled cheese in a
removed dirt driveway.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
So you're talking, and you're talking Denny's model level of
a sandwich. That's how attractive she was. Yeah, you got
to be the best if you're making it into the
Denny's menu picture.
Speaker 1 (18:39):
Yeah, she's not on a billboard. This isn't a Panera
billboard looking woman. But this is a Denny's menu looking
woman for sure. And also I don't mind talking about
her in this way because she doesn't exist. Is the
real story, Well, sure does.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
She's a model from South Africa.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
She worked in she worked in like busy, this administration,
but like for a company.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
And then she's like, this administration is the perfect scam job.
It literally sounds like a scam.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Yes, and so I got three checks in the mail,
all within four days, three checks, watermarked printed checks, sign checks,
they were from her boss. One was for rent in
first months, the other one was to get a mattress,
and the third one was for something else. I'd never
catched the third one. I did catch the first one,
which was I think for like eight hundred. And then
(19:28):
she's like, and by the way, we're going to send
just I have a mattress being delivered. If you can
pay when they arrive, no problem. And so I should
be ashamed or humiliated about this, but honestly, this happens
to so many people.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
Cleared, No eight.
Speaker 1 (19:45):
Hundred dollars went in the bank, but it takes a day.
So then she goes, hey, can you send me over
Western Union or whatever it was Western Union? Can you
send me back four hundred of that. I'm going to
put it towards whatever. And I said sure, So I
walked to Western Union, sent four hundred dollars, and then
another check arrived the next morning. And the way they
(20:06):
really get you and there, I'm sure we have great listenership,
and I'm sure many of these people have been ripped
off in the same way. They kind of push you
to pay quickly where they're like, oh great, and that
mattress is arriving today, So if you can go whatever,
We'll make sure everything's cleared, so you can just sign
for it. Can you send back another like five hundred
of the twelve hundred dollars check I sent and the
third check I was in Manhattan, I was working as
(20:29):
a teen wit.
Speaker 2 (20:30):
You sent, you sent more money, you sent you went to.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
I sent I think thirteen dollars and at the time
I think I had sixteen hundred dollars total on my
bank account. But Western Union out in Brooklyn just fired
those two off right away to London. So they went
to London. And then the third guy. I went to
Western Union next to Wacovia, which was my bank at
(20:54):
the time, and the guy goes, what it's this for?
And I go, it's for a mattress that's being delivered it.
And he goes, do you know this person? I said no.
He goes, do not cash this check? And I go why.
He goes, this is if has the mattress arrived? No,
do not do this. The guy saved me probably another
thousand dollars. And then I went over to Walkovia and
(21:14):
I tried to withdraw money, and my balance was I
don't know the second thing hadn't gone through, I guess,
so I had like seven hundred dollars left. And then
I tried to report it to you know, I went
to Brooklyn Police station. I talked to the teller there,
and the teller at WALKOVI is like, this happens all
the time. Now never take a check, or if you do,
(21:35):
wait until it doesn't bounce. Both bounced, So then I
also had a fee for bouncing checks. And so yeah,
I went down to three hundred total dollars with about
a week to pay rent where I thought I was
going to be living with a lovely British woman who
we shared so many similar interests. And then they had
the goll to continue messaging me about the third check
(21:56):
and could I send him more for the flights, And
so I just kept copying it and putting on a
document and I give it to the police and they
were like, the Brooklyn Police Department, speaking of not going
to track down a stolen bike, they don't give a shit.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
That's like an international wire fraud.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
There's undred two thousand dollars, like for thirteen hundred dollars,
they were like, you're an idiot. So Ever, since it
was a good lesson to learn at a young age,
because I would never fall for it again. But it's
the exact same scam these driveway guys got.
Speaker 2 (22:23):
What I don't understand is this What I don't understand
what how they convinced you to go send the first
amount of money.
Speaker 1 (22:34):
Because they oversend. They send you a check bigger than
what's required. And then they go, my boss put a
little extra in there for me to buy luggage or
to buy my plane ticket. Sorry, he accidentally send you
twelve hundred. I need eight hundred of that back to
buy my flight. Thank you so much, God, you're the best,
and cheers. So they overpay, and then before they they're
(22:58):
smart enough to know the checks tech one or two
days to clear, so before the bank tells you it bounced,
they ask you for a smaller, less suspect amount. So
then you're like, oh, this is And the checks worked
like they were accepted in the ATMs they deposited, they
just didn't clear. So anyways, I can feel this person's pain,
Monica James, what a great time we would have had
(23:21):
living together.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I got the adventures you could have had.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
Oh, we had so much in common. It's almost like
we had too much in common.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I know it really is.
Speaker 1 (23:31):
And that's why I'm sure AI boyfriend's girlfriends and partners
will be a very huge thing, because I had a
whole life planned out for us and we were talking
for four days. Oops, you want to do another crime? One,
of course, let's do another crime one. I have a
couple of fun ones. I have another New York one too, Okay,
(23:53):
Naomi H or Naomi H sent this in. You can
send yours to the Bananas Podcast on Instagram or the
Bananas Podcast at gmail dot We also have a website
bananaspodcast dot com. We also have a Patreon and it's
super fun and we DM and group chat and just
have a have a ball. We do. We have a
ball over there. Naomi H sent this in. Kurti B.
(24:16):
This was on CNN, written by Katherine Nichols and at
Katherine Nichols wrote it. You know it's about one thing,
what stolen snails? Yeah, more than one hundred thousand dollars
worth of s cargo stolen from a French snail farmer
with Michelin clientele. Yes, so the first sentence is a
(24:36):
lot like that headline. More than one hundred thousand dollars
of es cargo. We're stolen from a French nail farmer.
Earlier this week, French media reported leaving the suppliers scrambling
to replenish his snail stock in time for the holiday season.
And don't you just like gathering around the fireplace with
the whole family and eating snails?
Speaker 2 (24:57):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (24:58):
I would love it, you would, I would love it.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
Can I tell you my michell I just wrote it Michelin,
a Michelin joke, a Michelin story joke, and I performed
it to dead silence. I will not perform it ever again,
but I will tell you I'm a I think a
work life balance is important. You know, I'm a lot
like the Michelin man in that way.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:19):
Sure, I got a busy life being the weird staypuff
marshmallow man of tires. But I'll take some time out
to give some stars to some fancy restaurants.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Oh, I think you could work this joke. I can
see where this joke's going.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
Yeah, no, to dead silence on that one.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
What represents fine dining, elevated dining and the rubbery, dirtiest
thing the only thing in your car that touches the
ground the entire.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Time made out of that.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
More than a white blob that looks like a moving
butt plug. Okay, this, I think you could work that
joke because it is. It's so bizarre that it really
is the entire company that started the awards. This is
really not the post that we hoped we would write today.
Approaching the holidays, Less Cargo de grand Crew wrote on Tuesday,
(26:15):
we were victims of a bugglary and there our stock
of fresh and frozen snails were stolen. A family business,
Less Cargo to Grand Crew breeds around three hundred and
fifty thousand snails annually. What of business one.
Speaker 2 (26:31):
Hundred and fifty thousand snails annually?
Speaker 1 (26:35):
That is of so many snaps?
Speaker 2 (26:38):
Smells?
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's got smell horrible, does it?
Speaker 2 (26:41):
I mean I don't. I don't think snails smell bad,
but like.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I've never picked up a snail and smelled it now
that you're saying.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
I feel like they smell pretty fresh. I don't know,
but I mean maybe they're like feeding them rotting garbage.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
That's my mind. What they eat I don't know much
of me. I think they plants.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
I think France, right, So like it would be like
a lot of fresh plants. I don't know. I wonder
if it has a smell.
Speaker 1 (27:11):
Do you or anybody you know work at an s
cargo farm? Does it smell? Let us know in great
la grand detail.
Speaker 2 (27:18):
La grand crew detail. The crew was to.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Know they raised three hundred and fifty thousand snails annually
preparing the s cargo with quote the greatest of care.
The snail theft is a shock, incomprehensible, a real blow
for all the team, the farmer said, which is based
because everybody who's working now talk about small towns. I
(27:42):
want to visit. It is in boozy francez u z
y o u z y o u z why buzzy France.
Overnight from Sunday to Monday, thieves entered the farm undetected
and broke into the building housing the snails. French public
broadcaster France Info reported the fence around the property had
(28:06):
been cut. It said once inside, the thieves were met
with shelves full of snails and jars fresh snails, frozen snails.
I mean we're talking all the snails you can.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
All these snails. So they're stealing snails that have already
been processed. They're not selling, they're not stealing snails that
are alive and wild.
Speaker 1 (28:27):
One of the easiest animals to catch. Though, Yeah right, man.
Speaker 2 (28:30):
I just don't know how you get enough that makes
it worthwhile scoop them.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
Neither scoop them. Jean Matthew d'avournie, the owner of the farm,
told France Info that images were shown of the theft
with the refrigerators totally empty. They cleaned them out, cleaned
them out, but some of the stock taken was not
prepared for consumption. The outlet reported the shells of the
snails had not been properly cleaned, and the butter that
(28:57):
accompanies thees cargo had not been made been made. Davnay
says you cannot consume it directly, meaning I think it
would be not good to eat. But maybe this is
how they solve the crime. They sell dirty snails. Dirty snails,
good name for a memoir. In total, the thieves stole
(29:17):
nine hundred and ninety pounds of snails.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
Dude, that's an enormous amount of snails.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
That's a lot of snails.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
That's if you had those snails in your trunk, your trunk,
your your your car would be ride low.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
Yeah, if your poojoh is loaded up with nine hundred
and ninety pounds of the snails, you're going to drive
l roux And this is we tease. But for this
poor business, let's cargo to Grand Crew. We'll try to
replenish its stocks before Christmas in the years, given that
sixty percent of its annual sales are made during this period.
(29:51):
So we're sorry to that family. If they're good people,
If they're bad people, sit on your thumb. Davernay had
been able to supply snails for many restaurants, including Michelin
Star clientele. Since the has not been able to since
the theft, other snail farmers have stepped in to sell
Dauvergne some of their stock at reduced prices. We're ready
(30:12):
to help him to save his season, Alexandri Mayer, another
snail farmer from the Vosges, told France for ins Info.
So basically local farmers were pitching in a little bit
and giving them some discount snails.
Speaker 2 (30:27):
I feel like, I feel like you're going to be
able to find these people. Where are they unloading, where
is the where is the fence? For nine one thousand
pounds one ton one ton of.
Speaker 1 (30:40):
One hundred thousand dollars worth of snails. Who's who's got
that kind of clamps?
Speaker 2 (30:45):
Who's fencing this for? I mean, like you have, nobody's
buying them in that many of them. No one's buying
one hundred thousand dollars worth of snails at once.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
And our yea, our restauranteurs or chefs going to the
back alleys of their rests and buying cheap snails out
of the back of a truck. Maybe they are maybe,
maybe they are, maybe they are, Oh sach blue. Yeah,
I thought that was so interesting. So a thousand pounds
of snails is one hundred thousand dollars, So that's.
Speaker 2 (31:19):
A pound of snails is one hundred dollars. A pound
of snails is one hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
That's what I was thinking.
Speaker 2 (31:25):
That seems crazy to me because that means when you
order es cargo, you're there's breaking even on.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
That pretty pricey.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
But I mean it's right.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
You and I used to order it all the time.
We used to eat a lot of French food when
we were up and coming. Whenever we would get a
decent paycheck, we'd go to Lucienne or one of those places,
and the best I've ever had, the only time I've
ever really really loved it was somebody made them any
small puff pastry that was full of butter and garlic
and parsley. So you ate it. You popped it like
a doughnut hole, but it s carg Yeah, you would
(32:02):
have loved it. Man, Text your snails folks this holiday season.
Keep an eye on your snails. You never know when
sticky fingers are going to come and steal your s cargo.
Speaker 2 (32:14):
I remember in my twenties, I remember going to this
restaurant in New York called Love Bernadin. Oh yeah, and
it's like one of the best restaurants in the world.
It was great, and it was expensive. Then this is
probably in you know, the early two thousands, but I remember, like,
I don't know, for two people, it's like two hundred
and fifty bucks or something. Yeah, now two hundred and
(32:37):
eighty dollars per person without wine. And I do remember
it as being of all the meals I've ever had,
lumberd Aden was the best meal I've ever had in
my life. And there's just no way I'm ever going
to go back.
Speaker 1 (32:53):
I just can't justify that's profane, like, what is it
going to be.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
It's going to be a seven hundred dollars or meal
for two people or something I can I'll never go back.
Speaker 1 (33:03):
I am with you. I feel like there's a Werner
Herzog quote about fine dining. He's I think it's I
find fine dining vial. I'd rather eat a bag of
chips sitting on the curb. And when I read that,
I started going, you know what, He's right, because it's
also the thing and we've all you know, if you're
(33:24):
city folks, sometimes you get treated to a nice meal,
but you're not even hungry than you end up hitting
yeah drive through or a chicken truck or slice on
the way home, and yeah, two hundred and eighty. It's
the hunger game. Sometimes when you're sitting in those places,
you're just like, Yeah, if the proletariat shows up with
pitchforks and starts murdering everybody, I'd be like, just get it.
(33:46):
I get it.
Speaker 2 (33:47):
It's justified.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
I'm with you, guys. I'm a guest here. I just
take my shirt off right away. I'm like, I'm with you.
I wasn't enjoying these scargos.
Speaker 2 (33:57):
We have a you have scar good juice on your sure.
Speaker 1 (34:00):
No, I was spitting it back at them. It's symbolic
the shell of my body.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
All right, I'll teesus into some thumbers in and out.
Nix's six to seven from ticket system due to six
to seven trend is olive.
Speaker 1 (34:16):
At the age of six seven. Oh my god. Yeah, okay,
you could tell me more because to me, as a
not parent and somebody who's never around children, it doesn't
bother me at all.
Speaker 2 (34:26):
So it doesn't bother me. It's just the ubiquitousness of
it Isn't is stupid anyway?
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Well, yes, we'll talk, we'll get into it. Thumbs up.
Scott F. Wants to give two thumbs way up for
my wife and me. This is Scott F. Not me.
I'm Scott Yell. Tiffany earned a big promotion as managing
director at a global investment bank. Congratulations, way to be
employed around the holidays. Scott is so very proud of you.
I am too, me too, but Scott F is just
(34:52):
more proud of you. Scott worked sixteen years at the
same company. They started to like shift them around to
different roles, and then the position they put them in
with eliminated he was freaking out, and then he discovered
a new career path and now he's heading up risk
and compliance for a cybersecurity company. Better pay, better benefits.
Thumbs up to you two. Way to be very employed.
(35:13):
Way too a rare thing these days, but we're still
We're happy for you. Congratulations. What a power couple you
two have, because Scott and Tiffany thumbs up. Fun thumbs up. Indeed,
Wes Wes, Wes, you don't meet to me Weses anymore.
Speaker 2 (35:29):
I have a nephew named Wes Wesley.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I don't mind. I like Western beef. Yeah, baby, we
used to call that Wes beef. That was like a
good uh, that was like Sigourney beaver. Wes is thumbing
up his fiance, who has been supporting him through the
last nine months of med school. He does it in
different cities every single month, doing different rotations at different hospitals.
So he's in a different city doing rotations at whatever
(35:53):
hospital he needs to go to, all the while, his
nameless fiance has been working a cutting edge bad as
aerospace engineering job while also taking care of their dog
at home, and so Wes is just thumbing up his
nameless but beloved fiance thumbs up. Similarly, Grace Dunehoff or
(36:15):
Dunhoff is thumbing up her nameless fiance for pursuing his
dream of getting his PhD, all while they're also planning
a wedding, all while they're training a new puppy.
Speaker 2 (36:25):
Wow wow wow wow.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Puppies aren't easy folks. They take a lot of work
to do. Is it worth it? Of course it's worth it?
Is it two years of hell? Bingo bango, Wait until
you're settled in every other way in life and last
but not least, And I love this one. Thumbs up.
I think it's a lease, but it could be. Alice
A ls Let's go at lease is thumbing up her
(36:53):
friend Anne, who's an amazing librarian in San Francisco and
who runs the teen Center at the Civic Center Library
in San Francisco. An goes by Anna Banana and her
handle online is Bananimals, which is great. So Eleez says,
I vote you have Anne on your show as a guest.
You know what we should talk about something like that.
(37:14):
In twenty twenty six, the patreo maybe from the Patreon,
we have a guest and you can be our guest
for a full episode of bananas. That could be a
We haven't ever talked about this. This is me being like,
you know, that one thing we were talking about. I
think that'd be a nice little thing. If you join
the Patreon, maybe you can. Everybody's entered into a the lottery. Yeah,
(37:37):
Katie Levine can do a digital lottery ball drop and
we can have a guest that's one of you.
Speaker 2 (37:43):
I love that. It's a great idea.
Speaker 1 (37:45):
Hit me up with the six seven. I don't even
know what a six to seven on the menu is
at it in and out.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
It's on the menu. It's literally for the numbers sixty seven, Oh,
for the number sixty seven.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
So here it is.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
This is by Ben Hooper, Best in the Biz.
Speaker 1 (37:58):
On he is the best in the biz.
Speaker 2 (38:00):
Actually, yeah, I'm at upi dot com. West Coast fast
food chain and out Burger has removed the number sixty
seven from its ticket order system due to the viral
sixty seven trend. An employee at one of the chain's
restaurants initially reported on Reddit that they noticed the ticket
order system was skipping straight from sixty six to sixty eight,
(38:21):
and a worker at a Los Angeles location confirmed to
people dot com that the number was removed a month ago.
The removal comes after videos online showing crowds of rowdy
teenagers and young adults waiting for the sixty seven to
be called and responding by celebrating boisterously. The sixt' seven
trend has no specific meaning, but it is commonly believed
(38:42):
to originate with the song Dute Dute six' seven By.
Scripts have you seen this?
Speaker 1 (38:47):
Song, no it.
Speaker 2 (38:49):
Is it is the dumbest. Good it's so, dumb but
it's like dumb in a bad, Way like it's, dumb
and he's also like holding automatic. Weapons like if he
was just, STUPID i would be, Like, OH i love dumb.
Stupid this is like, stupid like bad. Stupid it's this.
(39:11):
Dude is it seems like?
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Anyway not a Great, yeah he's a due, Dude yeah.
Speaker 2 (39:19):
Exactly the term was dubbed dictionary Dot COM's twenty twenty
five word of The, year which is crazy as it should.
BE i, mean dictionary dot. Com dictionary Dot COM's just
lost all respect to my. Book you're no, Webster dictionary dot.
COM i Know. Webster perhaps the most defining feature of
sixty seven is that it's impossible to. Define dictionary dot
(39:42):
com reported it's, meaningless, ubiquitous and. Nonsensical in other, words
it has all the hallmarks of brain. Rot it is
the logical endpoint of being perpetually, online, scrolling endlessly consuming
content fed to users by algorithms trained by other. ALGORITHMS,
whoa this is all on dictionary dot.
Speaker 1 (39:59):
Com what a?
Speaker 2 (40:01):
Website, WELL i mean NOW i take it. Back that was,
Pretty that was. Meaningful The Los angeles employee confirmed the
number sixty nine was also removed from the ordering system
for similarly viral but more soliciously defined. Reasons this, MAN
i had pitched this in one of my. Pitches it
(40:22):
was not even shown To. Jimmy it was a pitch
for because of the six to seven thing was going
so hard for a. While, yeah and it was a
it was like tied into college, basketball because college basketball
there was all these videos of as soon as the
like if it was like if one team scored sixty seven,
points the whole place would go. Crazy and it was
(40:44):
set up as like a true crime. Documentary so a
trailer for a true crime documentary in which people are
talking about how sixty nine used to be the funniest,
number but then six seven came, along sixty seven came,
along and it was a person dressed as a six
and a person dressed as a, seven and six just
(41:06):
seemed kind of like scared of. Seven and then they're,
like but whatever happened to sixty? Nine whatever happened to?
Nine and then you just see pictures of, nine you,
Know and then it's like and then there's a number,
five who's just like you gotta, ask, man why is
six afraid of? Seven? Huh why is six afraid of?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Seven that seems very topical and it seems on tone for.
Speaker 2 (41:29):
That and then it's, like cause, seven eight, Nine see.
Speaker 1 (41:33):
Now i'm lol and outline right there is are you kidding?
Me send us, home?
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Buddy oh, yeah give us just the title and then
do it on the next, one.
Speaker 1 (41:44):
BABY i. Will, shannon thank you for sending this. In
thanks to all the. Bananimals we just love the. Panannmals
we hope twenty twenty six is such a great year
for everybody, here because twenty twenty five was. Definitely they
keep getting, weirder and So kurt And i've we embrace the.
Weird we think it's we think it's, wonderful and we
(42:04):
hope you do. Too shannon sent this In richmond cat,
Cafe The Perfect bean temporarily closed for flooding after cat
turns on. WATER a cat flooded The Perfect Bean, Cafe,
kurt and we will get into it on the very
next episode of a little. Podcast the smallest little podcast
(42:27):
there ever Was. Bananas bananas is an exactly right media.
Production our producer and engineer Is Katie.
Speaker 2 (42:40):
Levine the catchy banana theme song was composed and performed By.
Kahan artwork For bananas was designed By Travis, millard.
Speaker 1 (42:47):
And our benevolent overlords are the Great Karen kilgareff And
Georgia hartstart.
Speaker 2 (42:50):
And Lisa maggott is our full, human not a, robot
part time.
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Employee you can listen To bananas on The iHeartRadio, App Apple, Podcasts,
spotify or wherever you get your, podcasts and please feel
free to rate and review as many times as you.
Can we love those five. Stars
Host
Scotty Landes
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