July 29, 2025 • 51 mins
Kurt and Scotty talk about a Florida man who celebrated his birthday by doing meth, stealing a tour train and picking up riders, a minor league baseball team becomes the Humpback Chubs, bear sized giant beavers used to roam North America and a Melbourne man has unbelievable find after buying house!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, Scott are you ready for this, kurty b
(00:02):
I'm so ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
We're getting back to our roots. We're getting back to
why we started this podcast in the first place. Here
it is folks Florida keys man Mark's birthday by doing meth,
stealing a tour bus and picking up riders. Cops say, oh,
I'm sorry he picked up a tour train.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh you you choosed wisely. Guys, gals, non binary pals.
We've never missed banana since we've begun so five and
a half years, fifty two weeks a year. You're kicking
in on a little podcast, so we call bananaszillion pieces.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It breda bad guys goals, non binary pounds. Welcome to Bananas.
I'm Kurt Brown Older.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Banana Boy number two, sometimes known as Champagne Scottie Landis.
Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast whatever was.
You know, the world keeps getting more stressful, but we
can give you a guarantee right now for the next
fifty minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
No stress, no stress, baby, all.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Good times, good times, great oldies. You are just going
to enjoy the next forty nine.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Minutes I just picked up a dongle and smoked it
like a little weed pipe, And.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes you did. Hey, I don't know what you guys
do on the East Coast, you freaks.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Folks first and foremost. I just want to tell you
before I start to gush about the East Coast in
the summer, I would like you to know. October four,
I worked to the fourth my beloved New Jersey and
head to Denver, where I would be joined by Scotti
Landis for Bananas Fest.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Bananas Fest too. It's going to be so great, I think,
show it scenes planning.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I think our show is close to selling out.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I think so. I think there are like forty tickets left. Yes,
so if you want to see the one live show
we're doing at the if you're coming to Denver.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
If you're coming to Denver, just say get it right away. Yeah,
go do that. But also the street festival of Bananas Fest,
of course, is always free.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Zero dollars and zero cents. We'll be there. Starts with
a Split in the City, ends with the Bananas Live
with Curdie b and I at the Kirk in Denver.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, baby, so go you just go to our website.
We can go to our Instagram. You can just google
Bananas Fest, and I think we're the only one.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I think so. And it's going to be bigger and
more fun, and we're so excited about all the new stuff.
It's just gonna be great. Come celebrate with the Banana Boys.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What's interesting about this episode is that we rarely do this,
but we banked like eight episodes, so we haven't seen
each other. We haven't done an episode of Bananas in
probably two months.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, it's been a really long time, but we're back
in it. We're back in the groove.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Because it's been a it's been an insanely stressful time
for me moving, But now I'm settled. I am settled.
I mean there's still boxes, we still got boxes lying around,
but we are in the apartment where our things have
arrived from being traveled across country by pods. I stayed
with pods. Guys. Yeah, I'm on the other side of
(03:43):
the thing that I've been talking about for I don't know,
NonStop for six months. On the podcastday, it was a
big deal.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
It was a move and a job. That's crazy. Usually
if you switch jobs, people stress out. Usually if you move,
you stress out and you just combined the two and
do a little perfect storm. It was.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh and for those I don't think we only I
think we only talked about it on the Patreon, which,
by the way, we got so much awesome content on
the Patreona. Right, there's and you have so many different
levels to choose from. You can find the one that
works for you. But I got a job. I got
a job on a late night show here in New
(04:20):
York City. And yeah, so I'm writing on a late
night show that's daily. It's a very insane process.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yes it is. But it's a great job to have
at a time where so many people don't have jobs.
You're kicking butt. I'm happy for you. I think this
is so exciting. You get to take the train to work.
That's like a Curdi b dream come true.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I live across the street from the train, and I
walked to the train and it's thirty minutes. I'm not
gonna tell you what town I live in.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Folks, Yeah, don't do it, but you can.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Figure it out. Thirty minutes in from New Jersey. It's
one of probably five places. Oh but uh, New my
my god. First off, New York City, I like left
my house. I left my on a Sunday morning. Never sleeps, Scottie.
I left my house on a Sunday morning, Okay. I
got to an empty apartment that we had to rent early.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I went to bed on a mattress, on a child
mattress that I had delivered before I arrived.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Nice. Nice.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I woke up in an empty house, got on the train,
and then I walked from the train to uh to
where I work, which is about a twenty minute walk.
And it was the craziest feeling in the world to
have woken up the day before in Los Angeles in
my home and then be just walking to work in
(05:41):
New York City in midtown. It was crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It was after nine hours in a cave of solitude
in empty space, that empty sound that you only hear
in an empty apartment.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Oh, it's the worst. Every single thing that happens. If
you like, put your keys down, it's like a chink chink, chink,
chink chink. Yes, it has been a whirlwind. The job's
been a whirlwind, the move's been a whirlwind. But I
just want to tell everybody, Yes, the East Coast summer
is intoxicating.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
It.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I had forgotten how awesome. It feels how cool fireflies are,
how god damn disgustingly human it is. But and yet,
and yet, walking around I'm just like on a high,
like I go to walk the dog, I'm just like,
look at this wall of green that greets me everywhere
(06:36):
I turn is It's like it it nourishes me in
a way that I did not.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Lush on the East Coast, specially mid Atlantic. It's so lush.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
We get six months of it and then it'll look
like the world has dyed great.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Hell yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right now it is amazing. And everybody who's got a
big change coming up, whether it's by choice or by
tragedy or by good fortune, I just want you to know,
once you're on the other side of it, it looks good.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Maybe always good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It's always good. How are you? I haven't seen your
talk to you in so long?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
All right? The Three Big Things. I went saw Jaws
at the Hollywood Bawl with the La Philharmonic. So they
played the movie on a bunch of big screens, and
then the whole orchestra plays the score. Incredible, Oh that
sounds awesome, pleasant, lovely. Seventy five degree Los Angeles night
wonderfull time love that then got a Tarot card reading,
(07:38):
a first full We have a ban animal named Shelle
or Shelley, who did one card readings for us at
Bananas Fest one. Hopefully she'll do it again at two.
But Lizzie Cooperman, our good friend, Lady Lizagna, did a
full tarot card reading that's on our Patreon and I
had never done that, and Kurt, she was so accurate. Really,
it was eerie.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Really, I was at you, she knows you a little bit.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
She doesn't know this stuff really. Yeah, because I didn't
ask about relationship stuff, for financial stuff or like how's
work going to be? I asked for like, what is
the what is my soul holding back in this moment?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So I kind of went for a deeper question and
it started kind of like uh. It started like she
was like, uh oh, there's some bad stuff, and then
towards the end she was like, wait, these last three
cards are huge, like big things are coming. It was
so fun And if you Lizzie does readings over Zoom,
they're thirty minutes. If you want to have her give
(08:40):
you a tarot card reading, which I cannot recommend enough,
go to our website taro rx dot com. It was
so fun. And then the biggest news of all is
I pulled out on Sunset the other day and the
Wiener Mobile pulled directly in front of me, and I
followed it. Where I was going? Now, I didn't even
have to like stalk it.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Where is it? It was going to the It was
going to.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
The big bun in Culver City. I don't make it
go way?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Where was it going? Where were you?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was on Bronson in Sunset like all Angelina's we
gotta say the roads, and I just pulled out and
then the light changed and taking a right turn in
front of me was the Wienermobile. And I was going
to the bank, the post office. We have a po
boxer bananas bananas po Box three nine three four eight,
Los Angeles, California, nine zero zero three nine. Mail us
(09:32):
anything you want, We'll read it on the air. And
I just followed it. I filmed it at every stop
light because I wasn't trying to, you know, film and drive,
and it was so funny to just be behind it.
And I was in my little convertible. So I was
in a convertible following the Wienermobile through Los Angeles. You know, okay,
Top six hundred moments in my life.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Did you pull up close enough to it that the
Wiener part of it was sticking out over your head?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yes? I did it. It's like my car had a
tasty tube steak for a roof and it was so
damn funny. I'm like, I hope that this podcast continues
to grow where we can truly have a bananamobile one day,
or a banana boat, even if it's just a pontoon
boat that loosely looks like a banana to that thing around.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
All we need to do, I mean, they got to
sell those Wiener mobiles. What do they think they just
throw them into the trash. At some point they have
to sell one of them, right. All we got to
do is get that thing a paint job, and we
got a banana top a couple.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Of points, right. Yeah. To the good people at Oscar Mayer,
if you ever need to get rid of an old one,
one that's seen worse days, maybe smokes a little too
much out the back end, we'll take it. We'll take it,
banana boys will take it. We'll buy your hands, we'll
buy it off you. We'll paint it up. We'll put
two points on it, some little black spots. We're in,
we are in.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You want to hear this story by him?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Strange news storytelling. Now that's what I call bananas.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
This was on a local ten dot com seems real.
This was written by Oh Chris Gothner, the goth version
of Chris Gethard, Florida keysman Mark's birthday by doing meth,
(11:28):
stealing conk train and picking up riders. Cops say here
it is peep key Wes. Police say. A man told
officers quote, today is my birthday, after being told he
was under arrest for stealing a Conk Tour train on
the fourth of July. According to an arrest report, July
fourth was indeed Jonathan Patrick Winslow's birthday. It's fourth of July. Wow,
(11:53):
his fifty seventh birthday. He's facing three criminal charges after
being accused of taking one of the famous vehicles on
a meth fueled joy ride. Now I it is. It's
called the Conk Tour train. It looks like a train.
It is a trolley. It has wheels underneath the fake
(12:13):
train wheels. He looks like a young sting. That's what
he looks like. Okay, so imagine a young sting but
with his hair, with his hair sticking up on end,
that's what I mean. I don't even know how he
got his hair to stick up like that. It looks
like gel, but it's definitely meth. Police went to the
(12:38):
Conk Tour train depot at eight oh two Staples Ave
just before eleven thirty am Friday, after receiving a report
that a Conk train had been stolen was being GPS
tracked around downtown and like Key West Downtown is not
very big, right, No, not at all. And the rest
report states that Winslow of Big Torch Key left his
(12:59):
Kia behind at the depot, still running with rock music
playing on the radio. Oh so this dude just came
up spur of the moment, hopped in the Conk Tour
train and took off, Police said. An employee told officers
that he come into the depot, claimed he used to
work for the company years ago, and asked for a
tour of the train. They said he then got into
one of the vehicles and drove off, leaving the employee
(13:20):
he confused, thinking that Winslow may have had permission to
take the train. Winslow did not please say. Another employee
was able to retrieve the stolen conk train near Duval
and United Streets. I'm sure it doesn't go fast, authority said.
Winslow had even picked up two random passengers while driving
the vehicle. Boud Winslow at the southernmost point Booie. Police
(13:43):
said he exhibited rapid exhibited rapid speech and appeared excited,
and when being told he was facing charges, claimed hemuril
It merely borrowed the trolley, saying he used to work
for the company. In today's birthday report states that while
being searched at the jail corrections, you'd have found a
pipe in Winslow's poppet. It's a weed pipe, police said.
(14:03):
Winslow exclaimed it was not a weed pipe. They said
instead it was a petamine pipe. If you're going to
steal the conk train, leave your meth pipe in your car, folks.
That's I think the main great advice. As of Monday,
Winslow face charges a burglary, grand theft auto I mean
(14:24):
grand theft auto should be grand theft train, and possession
of drug paraphernalia. He is being held on a sixty
thousand dollars bond that seems excessive to me. Sixty dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Everybody got hurt. It sounds like a sweet.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Bird, It sounds amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I know. I'm so I'm so upset that I wasn't
one of the people that got to just what.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
A what a ride to make the decision that you're
gonna get on the conk train, right, you're looking for something,
You're looking for a story here at Key Web to
begin around by a man on methamphetamines and then watch
him get arrested at the southernmost point. But we come on,
You're gonna tell you that I will pay one hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's the most normal thing that could happen to you
in Keys. I like the Schooner Wharf. What Scooter Wharf
is such a fun bar down there, and every time
I go there, it's so fun. I was down there
with our good buddy Melissa Walker. We I was on
a road trip. She was shooting the show in Savannah.
I was like, I'm heading down the Keys. Do you
want to go? And She's like, yes, how long it
(15:34):
take go to Key West? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
From from Savannah the oh no, from the mainland of Florida. Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Oh, from the mainland of Florida. I don't remember. Maybe
like the the problem is you're so many bridges. Then
when you get to every key, you have to slow
down so much. So let me just say it takes
two hours. Oh okay from Miami.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
All right, great? Oh from Miami. That's amazing. I thought
took like.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Thinking about that. I love Key Largo. Key Largo's super fun.
Marathon's fun, Mamorado. Anyways, we get down there where we're
eating oysters, we're having a ball. It's it's an hour
before sunset. We're sitting at the sko.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Are you gonna have some conk?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
You kidding me? I'll bronk out with my conk out.
And I was eating so much cracked conk. I love conk,
by the way, and there's this boat, this huge sailboat
doc directly next to Schooner Wharf, and these people are
going on and we're getting drunk. I mean we're drinking.
I don't even know what they drink down, their orange
crushes or something, rum runners. And I'm like, Melissa, go
(16:39):
see if you can get us on that boat. And
she's like okay, and she drunkly walks over starts talking
to this guy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
She's a boat too, she could sail.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
She's a she actually is like captain a sailboat. And
she comes back. She's like, hey, we got to go
right now. He's gonna let us go out with them.
Oh my god, I go okay, And so we like,
flag down our can't find our server, so we just
leave cash on the table, walk in on a boat,
go out on a sunset cruise with a bunch of strangers.
They're like, how do you know Ray? And we're like
(17:10):
we don't. And they're like, do you want to rum
punch and we're like we do. And then we just
went on an sunset sail cruise with some guy that
had a big boat. I think everybody else charged it.
We just walked on it. It was dude, that's a
very key way Ray could have been on meth. Like,
I don't ask questions.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Those those holes could have been filled with meth. Yes,
one it could have been a catamaran. One catamaran keeps
a float, the other one keeps it full of meth. Yes,
that's right, That's what I'm talking about, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I know Melissa to take off and that night eight
you know, you, and I've talked with us a lot
because you're a touring headlining comedian a lot. Sometimes we
eat meals alone. Oh yeah, we enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Oh yeah. I had an old joke about it. I'll
do it after you've finished eating. I mean yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
So I went to Pete's Cafe Pepees and QS. I
love Peppees. I go every time. And I walked in,
I was like, you know, pretty drunk, swimsuit, all the
funny stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I mean, I'm currently in a swimsuit, wet from the pool.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it's a great feeling. And some for some reason,
food tastes better in a wet swimsuit.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I don't Hell yeah, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Hot Dogs taste better at baseball games, popcorn tastes better
movie theaters. It's just experiential stuff. And I was like,
just one and I was like, can I see your
bar there? Like bars full? I'm like, do you have
a table? And the guy's like for yourself. I was like, yeah,
just me, and he's like table for one, and I
was like, yeah, Pepees is like And I went over
and had one of the best I had like a
(18:41):
surf and turf, which I think down there they call
reef and beef. And I sat there and had like
three drinks, had one of the best feels in my life.
But this this the server kept being like just you,
everything okay, and I was like, I'm not gonna blow
the place up, man, I'm just hungry. I got a
credit card, burning a hole in my wet swimsuit.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And so was it a Mexican place?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
No? No, No, it was just like that steakhouse. It's
kind of like a rustic sort of It's like a
laid back breakfast place that has really good dinner. But
it's like you'd love it. It might be the oldest
restaurant in the Keys. I think that's right, but you
would love it. But yeah, the guy, a grown man
my age, was just like just just you. It's all over,
(19:25):
and I'm like, yeah, dude, I don't mind.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
My rule was when eating at a Mexican restaurant by
yourself was never order the fahida platter, because the fijida
platter comes out of the kitchen, real, real hot, real loud.
Everybody's like sort of like, who got the fahida platter?
Who got the faido? No, it's the sad man seated
(19:48):
by himself, and then you try and eat it real
fast to get out of there. You burn your mouth
on all and all it's all just it's all just
onions and green peppers, little bit of meat and oneins
and green peppers. Baby.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I know. For twenty four ninety nine, I still one
bell pepper one. I know, so I love it so good.
You had a great joke. I don't know if it
was ever part of like a set, but I heard
you say it a couple of times that a lot
of people have those stickers, the stick figures of families
on the back of their fans and station wagons, and
you had one that it was like just a stick
(20:23):
figure of just you, just one guy, just like it,
just me. I used to kill me the best. Such
a funny thing to.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Tell people that you have a family. It would be
just as funny to tell people that you're alone.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, that was. And every time I still see them,
they're sort of a throwback. They're sort of a pre
great choar thing. But every time I see one of
those family ones, it's the stick figure family and the
dog or whatever. I think of you driving around in
a car with just a stick figure of a solo man,
just one guy in his car.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He's gotta sums up. He's just like I couldn't be happier.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Whatever I would.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I'm driving exactly where I want to go.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh man, I know every time I see what I
think of that joke, which is so funny. This one
for us, all right by Candle underscore e. So I
think like Candle, I don't Candle Blankele. Candle sent this in.
So did Sarah Painter, the Great Sarah Painter, Kurt. This
one just keeps getting better. Grand Junction, where you and
(21:30):
I've been with the love butt and your wife long.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
It is an easy place to drive through when you're
going cross country.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
You got that right, Jack. Grand Junction Minor League baseball
team embraces a Colorado fish species and becomes the hump
back Chubs.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I'm so happy about this. I did see this one.
I'm so happy about this one.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
CPR News, which is Colorado Public.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Radio Cardiac Pressure Response, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Hump back chub is a silvery green fish with a
quasimoto hump, found only in the deep water spots in
the Colorado River and in the ballpark town of Grand
Junction called Lolorado. The small Desert, Citi's minor league baseball
team recently adopted the threatened species as its alter ego
(22:21):
team name. Most of the time, the team is called
the Grand Junction Jackalops, which is also a great name
for a baseball team, but on home games on Wednesdays,
it transforms into the hump Back Chubs. Shortstop Isaac Nunez
since the name change is going swimmingly, I mean, dude,
(22:42):
come on, Stina sieg Is, I mean so good words
into sentences and paragraphs. Everyone was super excited about it.
They were excited to put it on the jerseys. We
were excited to self to call ourselves a Chubb. Everyone
loves it, he said with a big smile. But things
weren't as always so chummy between team and fish supporters.
(23:04):
The saga started back in twenty nineteen. Twenty two year
old Grand Junction native named Ian Loomis fired off a
tongue in cheek tweet espousing an idea he had held
on for years. He wanted his hometown baseball team to
change its name. They used to be the Grand Junction Rockies,
which is a shitty name to show off their then
affiliation with the Colorado Rockies. To Loomis, it seemed like
(23:26):
a lost opportunity do something fun, he said, unique and local,
in the spirit of other minor league teams like the
Binghamton Rumble Ponies and the Albuquerque Isotopes. Yes, a great
names exactly, so why not the Grand Junction hump back chubs.
(23:46):
It landed him in immediate hot water with the team.
I'm telling you, Stina Sieg it really might be the
best in the beeswax.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
But also, how old is this guy who tweeted this
in twenty nineteen twenty two? He was twenty two?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
This is awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Then, yeah he's twenty two. Yeah, he's to wait to
the ripe age of twenty eight to see it come
to fruition.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, half dead? Why not? Yeah? Right? The future is Ian,
in the future is female. Why not the Grand jump
Junction hump back chubbs. It landed him in immediate hot
water with the team. If they just say no comment,
nothing would have ever happened. Instead, the team management fired
back their own tweet, calling the word chubb an offensive
(24:26):
slang term.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
No, it's not wait time.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It is a slang term, but it also is also
a fish. It's also a.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Fish, also a fish and chubs are.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Like venus a guppy. Is there a problem with that?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
He always does and it's uncomfortable in mixed company?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah, it is what is mixed company? Racist?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Or is it just being.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Men and women in ages? Is it?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
What is mixed company? I guess it means everything. It's
one of everyone.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, it feels it feels like get used to mean
something bad, but now it's like man. Yeah. I was
absolutely thrilled because the organization had a public meltdown. He
said the team blocked him and others who grow up
grow up. He said the team blocked him and others
who suggested or even mentioned the Humpback Chubs on social media.
(25:21):
So Loomis became a momentary internet celebrity. The more he
talked to the media, the more people he inspired, and
he started a petition asking the team to change their name.
He got around five thousand signatures. Looms kept pushing the
name change and eventually scored a conversation with Charlie Mumfort,
the owner of the Colorado Rockies. It went great, it
(25:41):
raised his hopes. Loomis said those hopes were dampened in
twenty twenty two. Ooh, kind of the soul when the
team was sold off and given a conspicuously non fishy name,
the Jacalopes, which for I don't know, I think everybody
knows what that is, but it Those are mythical bunnies
with antlers that a lot of Americans are so stupid
they think is real.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Come on, what you would prefer a made up tourist
gimmick than the than the real Chub, than.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
The real hump back Chubb. However, when Harrison Shapiro took
over last team president last year, my very first order
of business was this, we were going to do the
Humpback Chubs. We'd always like the name. So he made
new jerseys and designed them carefully, and they are They're
not offensive at all. We didn't put any baseball bats
on our jub logo for any for obvious reasons. He said,
(26:32):
with a chuckle, This guy's having a ball having a
ball up there in grand junction. Instead of adopting it permanently.
The team transforms into the Chubs on Wednesday home games,
as well as a few special days. Having an alter
ego has become very common in minor league teams today.
We have the Wisconsin Utter Tuggers dude, wait, these are
so good.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And that's them. Who what's the regular team name for
Wisconsin Utter Tuger.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I know it's the uh let's see, I am
looking at it. It's funny because the infamous Utter Tuggers
are back. What is this team name? Ch affiliates looks
like maybe a snake. It looks like it has a
rattles I'm gonna go rattlesnake. Okay, maybe the Wisconsin Rattlers,
but then they become the Utter Tuggers, the.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Very popular Wisconsin Rattlesnake.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Just one of the coldest states of all states. And
the Eugene exploding whales, which were familiar from Florence, Oregon. Shapiro,
the humpbck chubbs blah blah blah blah blah. So it's
also about more than reeling in business. Team has sold
more humpback Chub merchandise in a few months than they
(27:44):
did with Jacobe merch in two years. Obviously, a sense
of humor people.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
It's really crazy how much people don't It's it's really crazy.
I also feel like if it wasn't a baseball it
would have been or I mean like if it wasn't
a sports team, it would have been easily. I think
there's this thing with like masculinity, like with the idea
of performance of masculinity, where it's like, if you see,
if you seem silly in any way, that's like the
(28:15):
deepest threat to your masculinity. And I think it's the
still mist shit because the true people who are actual
men are willing to be made fun of or even
look a little bit silly, Like being a dad is
part of being a like part of masculine identity, maybe
the most, and you have to be silly, and it
is okay, like that is what should be we want,
(28:37):
we need to like rap silliness back into being the
definition of being a man in this fucking country.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Agree, good, well said, beautifully said, and very true. And
everybody nobody's silly anymore. They're all getting face lifts.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I know they're trying to do jawmaxing and look like
some sort of neanderthal idiot.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yeah, well they do look like both of those things.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Jaw maxing is the exact opposite of silly, even though
it's the silliest thing you can do.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, because they're not maxing it out enough. There they're
going that's minimum. They're doing jawn minimum, jaw max. It
would be like you'd have to get in the back
seat and steer the steering wheel with your chin. These
guy's a bunch of cowards. At the inaugural Chubbs game,
fans tried to keep cool with pints of Chubbs themed
Beard called chug a Chubb from a local brewery. Y
(29:26):
and so I'll get to the end of this because
here's one longtime fan, George Hannick, who was a season
ticket holder for the Grand Junction. Rocky thinks the new
name brings awareness and is also simply fun. It's just
a really good thing. I think they should permanently become
the Chubbs. It's pretty much the best outcome that Ian Loomis,
(29:47):
who is going to be Banana the Week. By the way,
Ian Loomis, you are Banana.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
The one Banana the Week, Ian Loomis, nice work.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Buddy, You did it, buddy. He got to throw out
the first pitch at a Chubbs game. He says, I'm
I'm not just happy for me, I'm very happy for
the team in the city. I really hope I can
turn to something really good that everybody can benefit. Curdiebe.
You know, I already ordered us Chubbs T shirts. I
got an excel for you. I will have it in
(30:13):
the mail. But they are coming to the po box.
We're gonna and they're great. They're green, they still hump back.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Chubbs my favorite color.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Baby, You're you're gonna look so good. Your eyes are
gonna pop when you put this shirt.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Oh, I'm excited. Is it like a baseball jersey or
is it like a T shirt?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Nope, just a green T shirt. You can wear it
to a job interview. It's very tasteful.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I wear T shirts to all my job interviews.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
That's the joy being a writer I have.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
So I just came from the pool, speaking of swimming,
speaking of fishes, speaking of chubs. I can walk scott
It to a community pool to like my town's pool
in eight minutes. That's the how long it takes from
my from my from my door to being swimming to
being in the water. And it's this gigantic, gigantic pool.
(31:00):
I can do laps there. All I'm saying is the
living is good in this little community.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
How's that snack bar looking over there? They got hot pretzels.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
They got it all. They got hot dogs, hamburgers, push pops.
I'll have got fish and chips. I got myself a
Caesar rap and we ate it outside, met some people,
made friends. It was great, fantastic, and then we left.
We got a push pop. Godd damn.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
It really our mission a comp summertime.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Baby, you got a baseball story for me, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't have a baseball story. I was just gonna say,
you talked about swimming. You know, we're all about being
inclusive on this podcast. I heard this recently and I
just looked it up to make sure I was right.
Fifty five percent of the world population over fifteen cannot swim.
(31:55):
Fifty five percent of the world population over the age
of fifteen cannot swim.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
What That's insane.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
It is truly a high income like we raised whim
to be able to swim is a true privilege, which
it was one of those things you just don't think about.
Then you hear it and you go, yeah, I should
have known.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That, I guess so. But I community pools are like everywhere, though,
but I guess you some of them you have to
like pay, I mean, it's for mine it's fifty bucks,
fifty bucks for the whole summer to access utful beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I think it's more like swim lessons and stuff are tough.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Oh yeah, you got to pay for swim lessons and swim,
but I mean you spend enough time in the water
you eventually learn how to swim with that lessons.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
But you'd think kids these days, when they're whole, how
are they going to swim when they're holding a phone? Kurt, God,
I've had it up to here. I've had it up
to my phone that I'm looking at right now. Should
we do some thumbs ups?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Do you want to tease us into one? You just
want me to dive right in?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Listen, Scottie, I cannot remember this. Seems like we've done
it before, but I can't actually remember doing it. So
I'm gonna say it. You'll tell me if we did it.
Bear sized giant beavers once roamed North America and they're
now the official state fossil of Minnesota. Have done that one?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Did we do that one? Let's do it again?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Here we go. If we can't remember.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
If we can't remember, big beavers.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Giant beavers, bear sized beavers.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
There's Giant Minnesota Beavers. Man, that's a good minor league baseball.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Team, exactly, the Giant Beavers.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
We got those humpback chubbs versus the Giant Beavers this
week in hot single a baseball and emphasis on single
thumbs ups, you could send your thumbs ups and you know,
just just we're cheering people up here. So if there's
somebody in your life that you want to give a
thumb up to. We don't do birthdays. We basically don't
anniversaries unless it's like me, mom pee Paul, I've been
(34:02):
married sixty years. We go for that. Emily Condiff says
thumbs up to the Boston Public Library, where anyone, no
matter where you live, can get a digital library card
with access to newspapers, media and language learning for free.
Pretty incredible. That's awes Thumbs up Boston Public Library. And
(34:23):
do that ban animals. We could all learn more languages,
especially me, Molly Phoenix. Win's the thumb er boss. Tyler
Stanley Up. He's at the Sewing Machine Exchange in Portland, Maine,
the real Portland, first Portland in America in Maine. He's
an awesome dad who shows up with generosity. And patience
(34:43):
every day and is a true asset to the community
and a lovely human being. Now that is a good
thumbs up. Thumbs up, thumbs up, Tyler Stanley. You can
send them to the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com
or to our instagrammer. That is the Bananas Podcast on Instagram,
which is a social media app.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I've got one, Scottie Hiss. This is from McKay says,
I have a thumbs up for my best friend Jacinda.
She runs a no kill shelter in Georgia and is
running out of space. She has posted a fundraiser and
I was hoping we could help get the word out.
Thumbs up is for the hard work and many lives
that she saves. And then the fundraising link is here.
(35:22):
We will post it in our stories as well. And
of course shout out to McKay because he is hiking
the Appalachian Trail right now. Wow, and he's about to
come through Jersey and so he's gonna scream as loud
as he can see if I can hear him. Good
job for.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Her to do. When Kurt used to run in Brooklyn,
he would text me I'm going running on his scream
and he would run by my apartment. I would just
hear Kurt yelling five stories down. He wouldn't stop, He'd
just run with a yell and then keep running. And
it was good. I knew he was still alive out there.
Two more. Ashley Crouch has a huge thumbs up for
her husband Alex, who I'm guessing is Alex Crouch. They
(35:59):
found out the affecting twins after a long fertility journey.
Alex has been a great supporter of the entire time,
caring even during the toughest moments. Actually, she didn't say even,
she just said caring during the toughest moments, and he's
always there to fill refill. Ashley's watched her congratulations you
two love birds and those twins. Kurtin Scotty. Great name
(36:22):
for twins, yep, think about it, think about it. Don't
be a fool name of Kurtin Scotty.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It'll start off as a bit and then it'll be
just your kid's names.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It happens in a hurry. And speaking of familiar names,
Randall Landis sent this in no relation. Sadly, I wish
I had a Randall in my family. Randall Landis says,
I want to thumb up my best friend Rickzy, Rickxy
getting engaged. Congratulations and I'm proud of you, bro. I
(36:53):
just thought I was so nice.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Just two guy friends, just Randall and Rickzy. I want
to know more about Randall Landis and Rickzy. I don't
know where they live, but I guarantee you they're in
a Camaro, just ripping it up, looking for trouble, looking
for a good time. Randall Landis and Rixy.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Oh, I love it so much.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Congrats to you, Rixy. All Right, kurty b, let's talk
about these big beavers.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Oh Man, giant beaver's once roamed North America. They're now
the official fossil Minnesota. This is from Smithsonian Magazine. It's
written by Sarah.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Coudah Sarah Kuda, best in the business Official Minnesota State
Fossils and Giants Weaver.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
When was this written? No, this is July seventh, twenty
twenty five. There's no way we could have done this.
All right, Minnesota state fossil is a giant beaver, an
extinct creature the size of a small bear that roamed
around the Twin Cities more than ten thousand years ago.
Lawmakers have approved the new state fossil earlier this year
as part of a broader omnibus bill. Oh yeah, no
(38:01):
bus bill, which Governor Tim Waltz signed into law in May.
The bill which included a short provision about the gargantuan
ice age rodent rodent.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, of rodents, beaver's are rodents, biggest ones.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I thought the Cappa bera was the biggest rodent.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Is the cap be rodent?
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Capa bear is a rodent. But I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
The biggest rodent We got the technology. Biggest rodent is
the capa bearra.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Okay, but I did not know a beaver was a rodent. Guys,
I'll be straight up, and it makes sense. It makes sense.
Their teeth are very American beaver.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Okay, So I was wrong, but right you were? You
were right and right.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Minnesota is a deep connection to beaver is from our
modern ecosystems to our prehistoric past. The giant beaver fossil
specimens in our collection have long captivated visitors of all ages.
Just goes on. This is amazing how much the Smithsonian
could write about this. Yeah, it keeps going in a
classic Smithsonian magazine way. It's probably a six page article
(39:07):
with just the headline being the information.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
So good job, great job Smithsonian. You're keeping people employed
and we respect that.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I h Scotty, I want you to give me one
got a great one shock me.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Hold on, hold on to your hat because it's about
to fly off your head when I say this. Our
very own benevolent overlord. Karen Kilgareff texted this to me yesterday,
which is very funny when you hear what it's about.
I was shocked Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne man unbelievable find after
(39:45):
buying house. Okay, this is an SBS News Australia. Alisha
Orr and Asha Abdy both wrote this, so you know it.
If you got those that's the dream team Aisha Or
and Asha Abdy.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
The cool thing about those two is if you took
the vowels out of their names, it would just be
lsh lish r are and just sh And maybe maybe
there's a reason vowels exist. As I say that, as
any new homeowner knows, there are always unknown things to
(40:24):
be found in the new place. Oh yeah, not a
great sentence, to be honest. You media miss in the
biz at this moment. From a kitchen cupboard that never
seems to close properly, are curiously painted over area of
a real performance of air conditioning unit. Don't even know
what that means. Curiously painted over area or the real
(40:45):
performance of an air conditioning got it? Discoveries abound Kurt,
but Daniel's You and his wife finalized the purchase of
their home in Melbourne's Northern suburbs. He found what he
can only describe as a train enthusiast's dream beneath their feet.
Underneath his new home, you discovered a model train set
(41:09):
up designed around an extensive network of train lines and
miniature landscapes. He had plans for renovations. You needed to
go beneath his house, much of which is raised sitting
below his car port. Entering the undercroft a word that
Americans simply are using a craft.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I've never heard of an undercroft.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Never said it, and what isn't undercroft? Entering the undercroft
of his new home via small doors, you was shocked
to find the area, which is just tall enough to
stand in, entirely filled with trains.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Oh so I would like to say to these people,
you're buying a house and you're not going in the undercroft.
Whatever it is, I feel like that's one of the
main rules of house bind is like what's in the
undercroft or what's under the undercroft or what's inside the undercroft?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, the under good undercroft inspectors there.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And undercroft is a vaulted space, often underground, typically found
beneath buildings like churches or castles, and used for storage
or other functional purposes like trains. Historically, undercroft served as sellers, workshops,
or even prison cells. See that's why you check the undercroft,
because what if there's a prison cell underneath your underneath
(42:29):
your house.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Right, you gotta pay for it. I'm gonna get an
Undercroft Inspector T shirt and I'm going to a humpback
Chuds versus the Big Beavers game, and I'm shaking hands,
I'm kissing babies.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Undercroft Inspectors is the name of this episode.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Katie uh entering the undercroft of is known via small doors.
You was shocked to find the era just to anu
stand filled with trained elaborate train setup. To do the renovation,
I had to go downstairs and have to look and
do some inspections. But when I got down there, I
saw this massive, incredible train mill sitting there and Kurt,
it is massive. The videos and the pictures. It is
(43:05):
so good. It is like I think of the States
would call them a trained garden. Sometimes huh humongous, Like really,
it's big. I'll try to give you a visual. Remember
pizza huts in the nineties. Pizza hut, yep, as big
as one of those inside No, in all train guarden.
It's like the whole basement, It's like the whole footprint
of the house is it's huge.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh my god. Also, it's interesting about pizza huts, and
in my imagination of them is that I was only
a child when I was in them, and so to
me they might have been the size of a football field.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
They just seemed to extended to darkness.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This is a little bigger than your typical classroom fourth grade. Okay,
it's unbelievable. It's so massive. It's so huge, you said.
He said, nothing had been mentioned about model trains during
the open home inspect kids.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I always checked the under.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
He immediately asked his wife to come down and take
a look. She was equally shocked. Here's where it gets great. Coincidentally,
you is a big train enthusiast. He works as a
rolling stock engineer for a company that manufactures new trains
and designs and constructs new rail.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
No, no, he is not, No, he is not.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
He really does. His love of rail started when he
was young through a Japanese cartoon about a crime fighting train.
I guess we have Thomas the tank engine.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That stop getting better. This keeps giving gifts.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
There's a reason our benevolent overlord, karen Ka sent this
all the way. It tells you how trains act like
people and protect children, he said, describing the shows you
has been in touch with the previous owner, who told
them their father built the train in the nineteen sixties
when they were just a child. The set had likely
not been used for years. The area is full of
(45:07):
spiders spider webs. When Jew first went beneath the house,
Jew said he's already had a number Zu, who said
he already had a number of toy trains and model trains.
Plans on getting the lines all cleaned, and he's going
to test to see what still works and get the
entire network back up and running. So he's keeping it.
(45:28):
He's just going forward. Well. Well, the separate control desks
for each of the different zones of the tracks is
likely represented by the modern technology of the nineteen sixties.
Ju hopes to upgrade it with some newer technology and
share his love of trains. My friend's children come over
and play. They don't even want to leave. They spend
(45:49):
the whole afternoon down there. Although there is no power
and the trains aren't running at the moment. But this
thing is so big. Oh wow, that you can just
it's like, it's incredible. And also he.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Doesn't want to go under the undercroft and look at
it a non working.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
When I was a kid, I had to get dragged
up on my Buster Browns from the undercroft for every
building I went to, every single building, I was where
the hell is the undercroft? And how does one access?
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Your child is very strange, mister.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Good Well, you should meet his uncle, Randall rick Z.
Those guys taught him too much about the undercroft at
a very inappropriately young age. God, it's so great that
this guy loves trains.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yes, are you kidding me? To find your passion in
your undercroft?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I know, man, that's amazing. We don't really have that
in Los Angeles. Like my dad set up trains around Christmas.
My grandfather had him my one friend's dad is like
one of the biggest train connoisseur whatever. He like has
vintage ones, sets up a massive one. But like I
(47:02):
was like, I'm sure you'll have it in Jersey this Christmas.
Maybe your kids will get to go to a big
public train guard and just have the time of their life.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Oh I think so, I'm looking forward to it. I've
just been anticipating fall as well, and just like how
it's how thrilling that's going to be for the kids too,
who have fundamentally never seen that kind of thing true.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Oh man, Yeah, that's when nature really struts her stuff.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
I'm just I love it. The community all cool it is.
We've been here days, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (47:38):
And that's a good sign.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yesterday I was we finally like unpacked enough that we
had dishes, and we've been like just eating out for
like a month straight because you know, it's all packed
in like moving and uh. And I finally was like
we are we are cooking tonight. And so I went
to the little town into the little little shop, bought
(48:02):
all my groceries and then I was like, can I
take this this grocery cart with me because it's just
like in the middle of the town. They're like yeah,
And then I just like walked with my grocery cart
next door to the fish shop, then next door to
the wine shop, then across the street and into the
parking lot where my car was, and then brought it
all the way back. And I was like, I'm in
a goddamn fucking Nora Efron movie. I live in a
(48:26):
Nora Efron movie. Something hilarious is gonna start happening to
me right now. That's so nice, It's so goddamn cute.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
He's back, baby, back, baby.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
I'm so excited. Thank you so much, Scottie. Thanks for
doing this on a weekend for me.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Oh well, whenever you won. I love doing bananas, ban animals.
You're the best in the biz. We'll see a Banana's
Fest two. We'll see you on our Patreon where you
can start with one dollar up to five thousand dollars.
So one thing I wanted to mention before we sign off, Kurt,
we have a five thousand dollars level on the Patreon.
You have to do it for a year, but at
(49:02):
the end of that year we will do a live
bananas taping for as many people as you want wherever
you want.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yeah, you want to at your house, front yard, abandoned pizza,
at your church.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
And I just want to give a little maybe insider
information anybody listening to the end. If you own a business,
say you own a big brewery somewhere, big one and
you have a performance space, you could pay that five
thousand and we'll come do the performance. You can sell tickets,
you could sell beer, you can sell whatever you sell there,
and that's yours to keep, and that's yours to keep.
(49:34):
So just keep that in mind, because it's not just individuals.
If you want the Banana Boys to perform at your
business Patreon for a year, we'll be there and we
will bring the thunder. We're gonna at that show. We
will go so hard, will be tt we'll bring the
keep in mind for you business owners out there, even
(49:55):
if it's a dry cleaner. If you don't think we're
going to come and hang ourselves and go around the
rack telling each other strange news stories while.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Trying not you got another big costic bag.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
You don't understand what the Banana Boys are up to. Anyways,
we love you, Thanks Bananamals Bananas. That was so far
out I'm not even sure Bananas is an exactly right
(50:26):
media production.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hardstar.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot,
part time employee.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars.
All right, Scott are you ready for this, kurty b
(00:02):
I'm so ready to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker 2 (00:07):
We're getting back to our roots. We're getting back to
why we started this podcast in the first place. Here
it is folks Florida keys man Mark's birthday by doing meth,
stealing a tour bus and picking up riders. Cops say, oh,
I'm sorry he picked up a tour train.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Oh you you choosed wisely. Guys, gals, non binary pals.
We've never missed banana since we've begun so five and
a half years, fifty two weeks a year. You're kicking
in on a little podcast, so we call bananaszillion pieces.
Speaker 2 (01:01):
It breda bad guys goals, non binary pounds. Welcome to Bananas.
I'm Kurt Brown Older.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I'm Banana Boy number two, sometimes known as Champagne Scottie Landis.
Thank you for listening to the silliest little podcast whatever was.
You know, the world keeps getting more stressful, but we
can give you a guarantee right now for the next
fifty minutes.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
No stress, no stress, baby, all.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
Good times, good times, great oldies. You are just going
to enjoy the next forty nine.
Speaker 2 (01:37):
Minutes I just picked up a dongle and smoked it
like a little weed pipe, And.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Yes you did. Hey, I don't know what you guys
do on the East Coast, you freaks.
Speaker 2 (01:49):
Folks first and foremost. I just want to tell you
before I start to gush about the East Coast in
the summer, I would like you to know. October four,
I worked to the fourth my beloved New Jersey and
head to Denver, where I would be joined by Scotti
Landis for Bananas Fest.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Bananas Fest too. It's going to be so great, I think,
show it scenes planning.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
I think our show is close to selling out.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
I think so. I think there are like forty tickets left. Yes,
so if you want to see the one live show
we're doing at the if you're coming to Denver.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
If you're coming to Denver, just say get it right away. Yeah,
go do that. But also the street festival of Bananas Fest,
of course, is always free.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Zero dollars and zero cents. We'll be there. Starts with
a Split in the City, ends with the Bananas Live
with Curdie b and I at the Kirk in Denver.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Yeah, baby, so go you just go to our website.
We can go to our Instagram. You can just google
Bananas Fest, and I think we're the only one.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
I think so. And it's going to be bigger and
more fun, and we're so excited about all the new stuff.
It's just gonna be great. Come celebrate with the Banana Boys.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
What's interesting about this episode is that we rarely do this,
but we banked like eight episodes, so we haven't seen
each other. We haven't done an episode of Bananas in
probably two months.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah, it's been a really long time, but we're back
in it. We're back in the groove.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
Because it's been a it's been an insanely stressful time
for me moving, But now I'm settled. I am settled.
I mean there's still boxes, we still got boxes lying around,
but we are in the apartment where our things have
arrived from being traveled across country by pods. I stayed
with pods. Guys. Yeah, I'm on the other side of
(03:43):
the thing that I've been talking about for I don't know,
NonStop for six months. On the podcastday, it was a
big deal.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
It was a move and a job. That's crazy. Usually
if you switch jobs, people stress out. Usually if you move,
you stress out and you just combined the two and
do a little perfect storm. It was.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Oh and for those I don't think we only I
think we only talked about it on the Patreon, which,
by the way, we got so much awesome content on
the Patreona. Right, there's and you have so many different
levels to choose from. You can find the one that
works for you. But I got a job. I got
a job on a late night show here in New
(04:20):
York City. And yeah, so I'm writing on a late
night show that's daily. It's a very insane process.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yes it is. But it's a great job to have
at a time where so many people don't have jobs.
You're kicking butt. I'm happy for you. I think this
is so exciting. You get to take the train to work.
That's like a Curdi b dream come true.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I live across the street from the train, and I
walked to the train and it's thirty minutes. I'm not
gonna tell you what town I live in.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Folks, Yeah, don't do it, but you can.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
Figure it out. Thirty minutes in from New Jersey. It's
one of probably five places. Oh but uh, New my
my god. First off, New York City, I like left
my house. I left my on a Sunday morning. Never sleeps, Scottie.
I left my house on a Sunday morning, Okay. I
got to an empty apartment that we had to rent early.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
I went to bed on a mattress, on a child
mattress that I had delivered before I arrived.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Nice. Nice.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
I woke up in an empty house, got on the train,
and then I walked from the train to uh to
where I work, which is about a twenty minute walk.
And it was the craziest feeling in the world to
have woken up the day before in Los Angeles in
my home and then be just walking to work in
(05:41):
New York City in midtown. It was crazy.
Speaker 1 (05:45):
It was after nine hours in a cave of solitude
in empty space, that empty sound that you only hear
in an empty apartment.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
Oh, it's the worst. Every single thing that happens. If
you like, put your keys down, it's like a chink chink, chink,
chink chink. Yes, it has been a whirlwind. The job's
been a whirlwind, the move's been a whirlwind. But I
just want to tell everybody, Yes, the East Coast summer
is intoxicating.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
It.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I had forgotten how awesome. It feels how cool fireflies are,
how god damn disgustingly human it is. But and yet,
and yet, walking around I'm just like on a high,
like I go to walk the dog, I'm just like,
look at this wall of green that greets me everywhere
(06:36):
I turn is It's like it it nourishes me in
a way that I did not.
Speaker 1 (06:42):
Lush on the East Coast, specially mid Atlantic. It's so lush.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
We get six months of it and then it'll look
like the world has dyed great.
Speaker 1 (06:52):
Hell yeah, but.
Speaker 2 (06:55):
Right now it is amazing. And everybody who's got a
big change coming up, whether it's by choice or by
tragedy or by good fortune, I just want you to know,
once you're on the other side of it, it looks good.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Maybe always good.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
It's always good. How are you? I haven't seen your
talk to you in so long?
Speaker 1 (07:16):
All right? The Three Big Things. I went saw Jaws
at the Hollywood Bawl with the La Philharmonic. So they
played the movie on a bunch of big screens, and
then the whole orchestra plays the score. Incredible, Oh that
sounds awesome, pleasant, lovely. Seventy five degree Los Angeles night
wonderfull time love that then got a Tarot card reading,
(07:38):
a first full We have a ban animal named Shelle
or Shelley, who did one card readings for us at
Bananas Fest one. Hopefully she'll do it again at two.
But Lizzie Cooperman, our good friend, Lady Lizagna, did a
full tarot card reading that's on our Patreon and I
had never done that, and Kurt, she was so accurate. Really,
it was eerie.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Really, I was at you, she knows you a little bit.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
She doesn't know this stuff really. Yeah, because I didn't
ask about relationship stuff, for financial stuff or like how's
work going to be? I asked for like, what is
the what is my soul holding back in this moment?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (08:18):
So I kind of went for a deeper question and
it started kind of like uh. It started like she
was like, uh oh, there's some bad stuff, and then
towards the end she was like, wait, these last three
cards are huge, like big things are coming. It was
so fun And if you Lizzie does readings over Zoom,
they're thirty minutes. If you want to have her give
(08:40):
you a tarot card reading, which I cannot recommend enough,
go to our website taro rx dot com. It was
so fun. And then the biggest news of all is
I pulled out on Sunset the other day and the
Wiener Mobile pulled directly in front of me, and I
followed it. Where I was going? Now, I didn't even
have to like stalk it.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Where is it? It was going to the It was
going to.
Speaker 1 (09:03):
The big bun in Culver City. I don't make it
go way?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Where was it going? Where were you?
Speaker 3 (09:08):
So?
Speaker 1 (09:09):
I was on Bronson in Sunset like all Angelina's we
gotta say the roads, and I just pulled out and
then the light changed and taking a right turn in
front of me was the Wienermobile. And I was going
to the bank, the post office. We have a po
boxer bananas bananas po Box three nine three four eight,
Los Angeles, California, nine zero zero three nine. Mail us
(09:32):
anything you want, We'll read it on the air. And
I just followed it. I filmed it at every stop
light because I wasn't trying to, you know, film and drive,
and it was so funny to just be behind it.
And I was in my little convertible. So I was
in a convertible following the Wienermobile through Los Angeles. You know, okay,
Top six hundred moments in my life.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Did you pull up close enough to it that the
Wiener part of it was sticking out over your head?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yes? I did it. It's like my car had a
tasty tube steak for a roof and it was so
damn funny. I'm like, I hope that this podcast continues
to grow where we can truly have a bananamobile one day,
or a banana boat, even if it's just a pontoon
boat that loosely looks like a banana to that thing around.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
All we need to do, I mean, they got to
sell those Wiener mobiles. What do they think they just
throw them into the trash. At some point they have
to sell one of them, right. All we got to
do is get that thing a paint job, and we
got a banana top a couple.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Of points, right. Yeah. To the good people at Oscar Mayer,
if you ever need to get rid of an old one,
one that's seen worse days, maybe smokes a little too
much out the back end, we'll take it. We'll take it,
banana boys will take it. We'll buy your hands, we'll
buy it off you. We'll paint it up. We'll put
two points on it, some little black spots. We're in,
we are in.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
You want to hear this story by him?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Strange news storytelling. Now that's what I call bananas.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
This was on a local ten dot com seems real.
This was written by Oh Chris Gothner, the goth version
of Chris Gethard, Florida keysman Mark's birthday by doing meth,
(11:28):
stealing conk train and picking up riders. Cops say here
it is peep key Wes. Police say. A man told
officers quote, today is my birthday, after being told he
was under arrest for stealing a Conk Tour train on
the fourth of July. According to an arrest report, July
fourth was indeed Jonathan Patrick Winslow's birthday. It's fourth of July. Wow,
(11:53):
his fifty seventh birthday. He's facing three criminal charges after
being accused of taking one of the famous vehicles on
a meth fueled joy ride. Now I it is. It's
called the Conk Tour train. It looks like a train.
It is a trolley. It has wheels underneath the fake
(12:13):
train wheels. He looks like a young sting. That's what
he looks like. Okay, so imagine a young sting but
with his hair, with his hair sticking up on end,
that's what I mean. I don't even know how he
got his hair to stick up like that. It looks
like gel, but it's definitely meth. Police went to the
(12:38):
Conk Tour train depot at eight oh two Staples Ave
just before eleven thirty am Friday, after receiving a report
that a Conk train had been stolen was being GPS
tracked around downtown and like Key West Downtown is not
very big, right, No, not at all. And the rest
report states that Winslow of Big Torch Key left his
(12:59):
Kia behind at the depot, still running with rock music
playing on the radio. Oh so this dude just came
up spur of the moment, hopped in the Conk Tour
train and took off, Police said. An employee told officers
that he come into the depot, claimed he used to
work for the company years ago, and asked for a
tour of the train. They said he then got into
one of the vehicles and drove off, leaving the employee
(13:20):
he confused, thinking that Winslow may have had permission to
take the train. Winslow did not please say. Another employee
was able to retrieve the stolen conk train near Duval
and United Streets. I'm sure it doesn't go fast, authority said.
Winslow had even picked up two random passengers while driving
the vehicle. Boud Winslow at the southernmost point Booie. Police
(13:43):
said he exhibited rapid exhibited rapid speech and appeared excited,
and when being told he was facing charges, claimed hemuril
It merely borrowed the trolley, saying he used to work
for the company. In today's birthday report states that while
being searched at the jail corrections, you'd have found a
pipe in Winslow's poppet. It's a weed pipe, police said.
(14:03):
Winslow exclaimed it was not a weed pipe. They said
instead it was a petamine pipe. If you're going to
steal the conk train, leave your meth pipe in your car, folks.
That's I think the main great advice. As of Monday,
Winslow face charges a burglary, grand theft auto I mean
(14:24):
grand theft auto should be grand theft train, and possession
of drug paraphernalia. He is being held on a sixty
thousand dollars bond that seems excessive to me. Sixty dollars.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Everybody got hurt. It sounds like a sweet.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Bird, It sounds amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I know. I'm so I'm so upset that I wasn't
one of the people that got to just what.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
A what a ride to make the decision that you're
gonna get on the conk train, right, you're looking for something,
You're looking for a story here at Key Web to
begin around by a man on methamphetamines and then watch
him get arrested at the southernmost point. But we come on,
You're gonna tell you that I will pay one hundred dollars.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
It's the most normal thing that could happen to you
in Keys. I like the Schooner Wharf. What Scooter Wharf
is such a fun bar down there, and every time
I go there, it's so fun. I was down there
with our good buddy Melissa Walker. We I was on
a road trip. She was shooting the show in Savannah.
I was like, I'm heading down the Keys. Do you
want to go? And She's like, yes, how long it
(15:34):
take go to Key West? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (15:37):
From from Savannah the oh no, from the mainland of Florida. Mmmm.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
Oh, from the mainland of Florida. I don't remember. Maybe
like the the problem is you're so many bridges. Then
when you get to every key, you have to slow
down so much. So let me just say it takes
two hours. Oh okay from Miami.
Speaker 2 (15:57):
All right, great? Oh from Miami. That's amazing. I thought
took like.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Thinking about that. I love Key Largo. Key Largo's super fun.
Marathon's fun, Mamorado. Anyways, we get down there where we're
eating oysters, we're having a ball. It's it's an hour
before sunset. We're sitting at the sko.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
Are you gonna have some conk?
Speaker 1 (16:17):
You kidding me? I'll bronk out with my conk out.
And I was eating so much cracked conk. I love conk,
by the way, and there's this boat, this huge sailboat
doc directly next to Schooner Wharf, and these people are
going on and we're getting drunk. I mean we're drinking.
I don't even know what they drink down, their orange
crushes or something, rum runners. And I'm like, Melissa, go
(16:39):
see if you can get us on that boat. And
she's like okay, and she drunkly walks over starts talking
to this guy.
Speaker 2 (16:45):
She's a boat too, she could sail.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
She's a she actually is like captain a sailboat. And
she comes back. She's like, hey, we got to go
right now. He's gonna let us go out with them.
Oh my god, I go okay, And so we like,
flag down our can't find our server, so we just
leave cash on the table, walk in on a boat,
go out on a sunset cruise with a bunch of strangers.
They're like, how do you know Ray? And we're like
(17:10):
we don't. And they're like, do you want to rum
punch and we're like we do. And then we just
went on an sunset sail cruise with some guy that
had a big boat. I think everybody else charged it.
We just walked on it. It was dude, that's a
very key way Ray could have been on meth. Like,
I don't ask questions.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
Those those holes could have been filled with meth. Yes,
one it could have been a catamaran. One catamaran keeps
a float, the other one keeps it full of meth. Yes,
that's right, That's what I'm talking about, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
I know Melissa to take off and that night eight
you know, you, and I've talked with us a lot
because you're a touring headlining comedian a lot. Sometimes we
eat meals alone. Oh yeah, we enjoy it.
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Oh yeah. I had an old joke about it. I'll
do it after you've finished eating. I mean yeah.
Speaker 1 (17:59):
So I went to Pete's Cafe Pepees and QS. I
love Peppees. I go every time. And I walked in,
I was like, you know, pretty drunk, swimsuit, all the
funny stuff.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
I mean, I'm currently in a swimsuit, wet from the pool.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
Yeah, it's a great feeling. And some for some reason,
food tastes better in a wet swimsuit.
Speaker 2 (18:17):
I don't Hell yeah, I don't know what.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
Hot Dogs taste better at baseball games, popcorn tastes better
movie theaters. It's just experiential stuff. And I was like,
just one and I was like, can I see your
bar there? Like bars full? I'm like, do you have
a table? And the guy's like for yourself. I was like, yeah,
just me, and he's like table for one, and I
was like, yeah, Pepees is like And I went over
and had one of the best I had like a
(18:41):
surf and turf, which I think down there they call
reef and beef. And I sat there and had like
three drinks, had one of the best feels in my life.
But this this the server kept being like just you,
everything okay, and I was like, I'm not gonna blow
the place up, man, I'm just hungry. I got a
credit card, burning a hole in my wet swimsuit.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And so was it a Mexican place?
Speaker 1 (19:03):
No? No, No, it was just like that steakhouse. It's
kind of like a rustic sort of It's like a
laid back breakfast place that has really good dinner. But
it's like you'd love it. It might be the oldest
restaurant in the Keys. I think that's right, but you
would love it. But yeah, the guy, a grown man
my age, was just like just just you. It's all over,
(19:25):
and I'm like, yeah, dude, I don't mind.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
My rule was when eating at a Mexican restaurant by
yourself was never order the fahida platter, because the fijida
platter comes out of the kitchen, real, real hot, real loud.
Everybody's like sort of like, who got the fahida platter?
Who got the faido? No, it's the sad man seated
(19:48):
by himself, and then you try and eat it real
fast to get out of there. You burn your mouth
on all and all it's all just it's all just
onions and green peppers, little bit of meat and oneins
and green peppers. Baby.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
I know. For twenty four ninety nine, I still one
bell pepper one. I know, so I love it so good.
You had a great joke. I don't know if it
was ever part of like a set, but I heard
you say it a couple of times that a lot
of people have those stickers, the stick figures of families
on the back of their fans and station wagons, and
you had one that it was like just a stick
(20:23):
figure of just you, just one guy, just like it,
just me. I used to kill me the best. Such
a funny thing to.
Speaker 2 (20:32):
Tell people that you have a family. It would be
just as funny to tell people that you're alone.
Speaker 1 (20:38):
Yeah, that was. And every time I still see them,
they're sort of a throwback. They're sort of a pre
great choar thing. But every time I see one of
those family ones, it's the stick figure family and the
dog or whatever. I think of you driving around in
a car with just a stick figure of a solo man,
just one guy in his car.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
He's gotta sums up. He's just like I couldn't be happier.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
Whatever I would.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
I'm driving exactly where I want to go.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Oh man, I know every time I see what I
think of that joke, which is so funny. This one
for us, all right by Candle underscore e. So I
think like Candle, I don't Candle Blankele. Candle sent this in.
So did Sarah Painter, the Great Sarah Painter, Kurt. This
one just keeps getting better. Grand Junction, where you and
(21:30):
I've been with the love butt and your wife long.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
It is an easy place to drive through when you're
going cross country.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
You got that right, Jack. Grand Junction Minor League baseball
team embraces a Colorado fish species and becomes the hump
back Chubs.
Speaker 2 (21:50):
I'm so happy about this. I did see this one.
I'm so happy about this one.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
CPR News, which is Colorado Public.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
Radio Cardiac Pressure Response, Thank you.
Speaker 1 (22:01):
Hump back chub is a silvery green fish with a
quasimoto hump, found only in the deep water spots in
the Colorado River and in the ballpark town of Grand
Junction called Lolorado. The small Desert, Citi's minor league baseball
team recently adopted the threatened species as its alter ego
(22:21):
team name. Most of the time, the team is called
the Grand Junction Jackalops, which is also a great name
for a baseball team, but on home games on Wednesdays,
it transforms into the hump Back Chubs. Shortstop Isaac Nunez
since the name change is going swimmingly, I mean, dude,
(22:42):
come on, Stina sieg Is, I mean so good words
into sentences and paragraphs. Everyone was super excited about it.
They were excited to put it on the jerseys. We
were excited to self to call ourselves a Chubb. Everyone
loves it, he said with a big smile. But things
weren't as always so chummy between team and fish supporters.
(23:04):
The saga started back in twenty nineteen. Twenty two year
old Grand Junction native named Ian Loomis fired off a
tongue in cheek tweet espousing an idea he had held
on for years. He wanted his hometown baseball team to
change its name. They used to be the Grand Junction Rockies,
which is a shitty name to show off their then
affiliation with the Colorado Rockies. To Loomis, it seemed like
(23:26):
a lost opportunity do something fun, he said, unique and local,
in the spirit of other minor league teams like the
Binghamton Rumble Ponies and the Albuquerque Isotopes. Yes, a great
names exactly, so why not the Grand Junction hump back chubs.
(23:46):
It landed him in immediate hot water with the team.
I'm telling you, Stina Sieg it really might be the
best in the beeswax.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
But also, how old is this guy who tweeted this
in twenty nineteen twenty two? He was twenty two?
Speaker 1 (23:56):
This is awesome.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
Then, yeah he's twenty two. Yeah, he's to wait to
the ripe age of twenty eight to see it come
to fruition.
Speaker 1 (24:05):
Yeah, half dead? Why not? Yeah? Right? The future is Ian,
in the future is female. Why not the Grand jump
Junction hump back chubbs. It landed him in immediate hot
water with the team. If they just say no comment,
nothing would have ever happened. Instead, the team management fired
back their own tweet, calling the word chubb an offensive
(24:26):
slang term.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
No, it's not wait time.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
It is a slang term, but it also is also
a fish. It's also a.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
Fish, also a fish and chubs are.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Like venus a guppy. Is there a problem with that?
Speaker 2 (24:40):
He always does and it's uncomfortable in mixed company?
Speaker 1 (24:43):
Yeah, it is what is mixed company? Racist?
Speaker 2 (24:48):
Or is it just being.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Men and women in ages? Is it?
Speaker 2 (24:53):
What is mixed company? I guess it means everything. It's
one of everyone.
Speaker 1 (24:58):
Yeah, it feels it feels like get used to mean
something bad, but now it's like man. Yeah. I was
absolutely thrilled because the organization had a public meltdown. He
said the team blocked him and others who grow up
grow up. He said the team blocked him and others
who suggested or even mentioned the Humpback Chubs on social media.
(25:21):
So Loomis became a momentary internet celebrity. The more he
talked to the media, the more people he inspired, and
he started a petition asking the team to change their name.
He got around five thousand signatures. Looms kept pushing the
name change and eventually scored a conversation with Charlie Mumfort,
the owner of the Colorado Rockies. It went great, it
(25:41):
raised his hopes. Loomis said those hopes were dampened in
twenty twenty two. Ooh, kind of the soul when the
team was sold off and given a conspicuously non fishy name,
the Jacalopes, which for I don't know, I think everybody
knows what that is, but it Those are mythical bunnies
with antlers that a lot of Americans are so stupid
they think is real.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
Come on, what you would prefer a made up tourist
gimmick than the than the real Chub, than.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
The real hump back Chubb. However, when Harrison Shapiro took
over last team president last year, my very first order
of business was this, we were going to do the
Humpback Chubs. We'd always like the name. So he made
new jerseys and designed them carefully, and they are They're
not offensive at all. We didn't put any baseball bats
on our jub logo for any for obvious reasons. He said,
(26:32):
with a chuckle, This guy's having a ball having a
ball up there in grand junction. Instead of adopting it permanently.
The team transforms into the Chubs on Wednesday home games,
as well as a few special days. Having an alter
ego has become very common in minor league teams today.
We have the Wisconsin Utter Tuggers dude, wait, these are
so good.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
And that's them. Who what's the regular team name for
Wisconsin Utter Tuger.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
No, I know it's the uh let's see, I am
looking at it. It's funny because the infamous Utter Tuggers
are back. What is this team name? Ch affiliates looks
like maybe a snake. It looks like it has a
rattles I'm gonna go rattlesnake. Okay, maybe the Wisconsin Rattlers,
but then they become the Utter Tuggers, the.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Very popular Wisconsin Rattlesnake.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
Just one of the coldest states of all states. And
the Eugene exploding whales, which were familiar from Florence, Oregon. Shapiro,
the humpbck chubbs blah blah blah blah blah. So it's
also about more than reeling in business. Team has sold
more humpback Chub merchandise in a few months than they
(27:44):
did with Jacobe merch in two years. Obviously, a sense
of humor people.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
It's really crazy how much people don't It's it's really crazy.
I also feel like if it wasn't a baseball it
would have been or I mean like if it wasn't
a sports team, it would have been easily. I think
there's this thing with like masculinity, like with the idea
of performance of masculinity, where it's like, if you see,
if you seem silly in any way, that's like the
(28:15):
deepest threat to your masculinity. And I think it's the
still mist shit because the true people who are actual
men are willing to be made fun of or even
look a little bit silly, Like being a dad is
part of being a like part of masculine identity, maybe
the most, and you have to be silly, and it
is okay, like that is what should be we want,
(28:37):
we need to like rap silliness back into being the
definition of being a man in this fucking country.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
Agree, good, well said, beautifully said, and very true. And
everybody nobody's silly anymore. They're all getting face lifts.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
I know they're trying to do jawmaxing and look like
some sort of neanderthal idiot.
Speaker 1 (28:56):
Yeah, well they do look like both of those things.
Speaker 2 (28:58):
Jaw maxing is the exact opposite of silly, even though
it's the silliest thing you can do.
Speaker 1 (29:04):
Yeah, because they're not maxing it out enough. There they're
going that's minimum. They're doing jawn minimum, jaw max. It
would be like you'd have to get in the back
seat and steer the steering wheel with your chin. These
guy's a bunch of cowards. At the inaugural Chubbs game,
fans tried to keep cool with pints of Chubbs themed
Beard called chug a Chubb from a local brewery. Y
(29:26):
and so I'll get to the end of this because
here's one longtime fan, George Hannick, who was a season
ticket holder for the Grand Junction. Rocky thinks the new
name brings awareness and is also simply fun. It's just
a really good thing. I think they should permanently become
the Chubbs. It's pretty much the best outcome that Ian Loomis,
(29:47):
who is going to be Banana the Week. By the way,
Ian Loomis, you are Banana.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
The one Banana the Week, Ian Loomis, nice work.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
Buddy, You did it, buddy. He got to throw out
the first pitch at a Chubbs game. He says, I'm
I'm not just happy for me, I'm very happy for
the team in the city. I really hope I can
turn to something really good that everybody can benefit. Curdiebe.
You know, I already ordered us Chubbs T shirts. I
got an excel for you. I will have it in
(30:13):
the mail. But they are coming to the po box.
We're gonna and they're great. They're green, they still hump back.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Chubbs my favorite color.
Speaker 1 (30:20):
Baby, You're you're gonna look so good. Your eyes are
gonna pop when you put this shirt.
Speaker 2 (30:24):
Oh, I'm excited. Is it like a baseball jersey or
is it like a T shirt?
Speaker 1 (30:28):
Nope, just a green T shirt. You can wear it
to a job interview. It's very tasteful.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
I wear T shirts to all my job interviews.
Speaker 1 (30:37):
That's the joy being a writer I have.
Speaker 2 (30:40):
So I just came from the pool, speaking of swimming,
speaking of fishes, speaking of chubs. I can walk scott
It to a community pool to like my town's pool
in eight minutes. That's the how long it takes from
my from my from my door to being swimming to
being in the water. And it's this gigantic, gigantic pool.
(31:00):
I can do laps there. All I'm saying is the
living is good in this little community.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
How's that snack bar looking over there? They got hot pretzels.
Speaker 2 (31:09):
They got it all. They got hot dogs, hamburgers, push pops.
I'll have got fish and chips. I got myself a
Caesar rap and we ate it outside, met some people,
made friends. It was great, fantastic, and then we left.
We got a push pop. Godd damn.
Speaker 1 (31:27):
It really our mission a comp summertime.
Speaker 2 (31:31):
Baby, you got a baseball story for me, Scottie.
Speaker 1 (31:35):
I don't have a baseball story. I was just gonna say,
you talked about swimming. You know, we're all about being
inclusive on this podcast. I heard this recently and I
just looked it up to make sure I was right.
Fifty five percent of the world population over fifteen cannot swim.
(31:55):
Fifty five percent of the world population over the age
of fifteen cannot swim.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
What That's insane.
Speaker 1 (32:03):
It is truly a high income like we raised whim
to be able to swim is a true privilege, which
it was one of those things you just don't think about.
Then you hear it and you go, yeah, I should
have known.
Speaker 2 (32:15):
That, I guess so. But I community pools are like everywhere, though,
but I guess you some of them you have to
like pay, I mean, it's for mine it's fifty bucks,
fifty bucks for the whole summer to access utful beautiful.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
I think it's more like swim lessons and stuff are tough.
Speaker 2 (32:31):
Oh yeah, you got to pay for swim lessons and swim,
but I mean you spend enough time in the water
you eventually learn how to swim with that lessons.
Speaker 1 (32:37):
But you'd think kids these days, when they're whole, how
are they going to swim when they're holding a phone? Kurt, God,
I've had it up to here. I've had it up
to my phone that I'm looking at right now. Should
we do some thumbs ups?
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yes? Please?
Speaker 1 (32:56):
Do you want to tease us into one? You just
want me to dive right in?
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Listen, Scottie, I cannot remember this. Seems like we've done
it before, but I can't actually remember doing it. So
I'm gonna say it. You'll tell me if we did it.
Bear sized giant beavers once roamed North America and they're
now the official state fossil of Minnesota. Have done that one?
Speaker 1 (33:19):
Did we do that one? Let's do it again?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
Here we go. If we can't remember.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
If we can't remember, big beavers.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Giant beavers, bear sized beavers.
Speaker 1 (33:33):
There's Giant Minnesota Beavers. Man, that's a good minor league baseball.
Speaker 2 (33:37):
Team, exactly, the Giant Beavers.
Speaker 1 (33:42):
We got those humpback chubbs versus the Giant Beavers this
week in hot single a baseball and emphasis on single
thumbs ups, you could send your thumbs ups and you know,
just just we're cheering people up here. So if there's
somebody in your life that you want to give a
thumb up to. We don't do birthdays. We basically don't
anniversaries unless it's like me, mom pee Paul, I've been
(34:02):
married sixty years. We go for that. Emily Condiff says
thumbs up to the Boston Public Library, where anyone, no
matter where you live, can get a digital library card
with access to newspapers, media and language learning for free.
Pretty incredible. That's awes Thumbs up Boston Public Library. And
(34:23):
do that ban animals. We could all learn more languages,
especially me, Molly Phoenix. Win's the thumb er boss. Tyler
Stanley Up. He's at the Sewing Machine Exchange in Portland, Maine,
the real Portland, first Portland in America in Maine. He's
an awesome dad who shows up with generosity. And patience
(34:43):
every day and is a true asset to the community
and a lovely human being. Now that is a good
thumbs up. Thumbs up, thumbs up, Tyler Stanley. You can
send them to the Bananas Podcast at gmail dot com
or to our instagrammer. That is the Bananas Podcast on Instagram,
which is a social media app.
Speaker 2 (35:00):
I've got one, Scottie Hiss. This is from McKay says,
I have a thumbs up for my best friend Jacinda.
She runs a no kill shelter in Georgia and is
running out of space. She has posted a fundraiser and
I was hoping we could help get the word out.
Thumbs up is for the hard work and many lives
that she saves. And then the fundraising link is here.
(35:22):
We will post it in our stories as well. And
of course shout out to McKay because he is hiking
the Appalachian Trail right now. Wow, and he's about to
come through Jersey and so he's gonna scream as loud
as he can see if I can hear him. Good
job for.
Speaker 1 (35:37):
Her to do. When Kurt used to run in Brooklyn,
he would text me I'm going running on his scream
and he would run by my apartment. I would just
hear Kurt yelling five stories down. He wouldn't stop, He'd
just run with a yell and then keep running. And
it was good. I knew he was still alive out there.
Two more. Ashley Crouch has a huge thumbs up for
her husband Alex, who I'm guessing is Alex Crouch. They
(35:59):
found out the affecting twins after a long fertility journey.
Alex has been a great supporter of the entire time,
caring even during the toughest moments. Actually, she didn't say even,
she just said caring during the toughest moments, and he's
always there to fill refill. Ashley's watched her congratulations you
two love birds and those twins. Kurtin Scotty. Great name
(36:22):
for twins, yep, think about it, think about it. Don't
be a fool name of Kurtin Scotty.
Speaker 2 (36:28):
It'll start off as a bit and then it'll be
just your kid's names.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
It happens in a hurry. And speaking of familiar names,
Randall Landis sent this in no relation. Sadly, I wish
I had a Randall in my family. Randall Landis says,
I want to thumb up my best friend Rickzy, Rickxy
getting engaged. Congratulations and I'm proud of you, bro. I
(36:53):
just thought I was so nice.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
I love it.
Speaker 1 (36:56):
Just two guy friends, just Randall and Rickzy. I want
to know more about Randall Landis and Rickzy. I don't
know where they live, but I guarantee you they're in
a Camaro, just ripping it up, looking for trouble, looking
for a good time. Randall Landis and Rixy.
Speaker 2 (37:16):
Oh, I love it so much.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Congrats to you, Rixy. All Right, kurty b, let's talk
about these big beavers.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
Oh Man, giant beaver's once roamed North America. They're now
the official fossil Minnesota. This is from Smithsonian Magazine. It's
written by Sarah.
Speaker 3 (37:29):
Coudah Sarah Kuda, best in the business Official Minnesota State
Fossils and Giants Weaver.
Speaker 2 (37:40):
When was this written? No, this is July seventh, twenty
twenty five. There's no way we could have done this.
All right, Minnesota state fossil is a giant beaver, an
extinct creature the size of a small bear that roamed
around the Twin Cities more than ten thousand years ago.
Lawmakers have approved the new state fossil earlier this year
as part of a broader omnibus bill. Oh yeah, no
(38:01):
bus bill, which Governor Tim Waltz signed into law in May.
The bill which included a short provision about the gargantuan
ice age rodent rodent.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
Yeah, of rodents, beaver's are rodents, biggest ones.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I thought the Cappa bera was the biggest rodent.
Speaker 1 (38:19):
Is the cap be rodent?
Speaker 2 (38:20):
Capa bear is a rodent. But I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (38:22):
The biggest rodent We got the technology. Biggest rodent is
the capa bearra.
Speaker 2 (38:27):
Okay, but I did not know a beaver was a rodent. Guys,
I'll be straight up, and it makes sense. It makes sense.
Their teeth are very American beaver.
Speaker 1 (38:36):
Okay, So I was wrong, but right you were? You
were right and right.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Minnesota is a deep connection to beaver is from our
modern ecosystems to our prehistoric past. The giant beaver fossil
specimens in our collection have long captivated visitors of all ages.
Just goes on. This is amazing how much the Smithsonian
could write about this. Yeah, it keeps going in a
classic Smithsonian magazine way. It's probably a six page article
(39:07):
with just the headline being the information.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
So good job, great job Smithsonian. You're keeping people employed
and we respect that.
Speaker 2 (39:17):
I h Scotty, I want you to give me one
got a great one shock me.
Speaker 1 (39:24):
Hold on, hold on to your hat because it's about
to fly off your head when I say this. Our
very own benevolent overlord. Karen Kilgareff texted this to me yesterday,
which is very funny when you hear what it's about.
I was shocked Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne man unbelievable find after
(39:45):
buying house. Okay, this is an SBS News Australia. Alisha
Orr and Asha Abdy both wrote this, so you know it.
If you got those that's the dream team Aisha Or
and Asha Abdy.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
Mm hmmm.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
The cool thing about those two is if you took
the vowels out of their names, it would just be
lsh lish r are and just sh And maybe maybe
there's a reason vowels exist. As I say that, as
any new homeowner knows, there are always unknown things to
(40:24):
be found in the new place. Oh yeah, not a
great sentence, to be honest. You media miss in the
biz at this moment. From a kitchen cupboard that never
seems to close properly, are curiously painted over area of
a real performance of air conditioning unit. Don't even know
what that means. Curiously painted over area or the real
(40:45):
performance of an air conditioning got it? Discoveries abound Kurt,
but Daniel's You and his wife finalized the purchase of
their home in Melbourne's Northern suburbs. He found what he
can only describe as a train enthusiast's dream beneath their feet.
Underneath his new home, you discovered a model train set
(41:09):
up designed around an extensive network of train lines and
miniature landscapes. He had plans for renovations. You needed to
go beneath his house, much of which is raised sitting
below his car port. Entering the undercroft a word that
Americans simply are using a craft.
Speaker 2 (41:30):
I've never heard of an undercroft.
Speaker 1 (41:32):
Never said it, and what isn't undercroft? Entering the undercroft
of his new home via small doors, you was shocked
to find the area, which is just tall enough to
stand in, entirely filled with trains.
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Oh so I would like to say to these people,
you're buying a house and you're not going in the undercroft.
Whatever it is, I feel like that's one of the
main rules of house bind is like what's in the
undercroft or what's under the undercroft or what's inside the undercroft?
Speaker 1 (42:04):
Yeah, the under good undercroft inspectors there.
Speaker 2 (42:08):
And undercroft is a vaulted space, often underground, typically found
beneath buildings like churches or castles, and used for storage
or other functional purposes like trains. Historically, undercroft served as sellers, workshops,
or even prison cells. See that's why you check the undercroft,
because what if there's a prison cell underneath your underneath
(42:29):
your house.
Speaker 1 (42:29):
Right, you gotta pay for it. I'm gonna get an
Undercroft Inspector T shirt and I'm going to a humpback
Chuds versus the Big Beavers game, and I'm shaking hands,
I'm kissing babies.
Speaker 2 (42:39):
Undercroft Inspectors is the name of this episode.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Katie uh entering the undercroft of is known via small doors.
You was shocked to find the era just to anu
stand filled with trained elaborate train setup. To do the renovation,
I had to go downstairs and have to look and
do some inspections. But when I got down there, I
saw this massive, incredible train mill sitting there and Kurt,
it is massive. The videos and the pictures. It is
(43:05):
so good. It is like I think of the States
would call them a trained garden. Sometimes huh humongous, Like really,
it's big. I'll try to give you a visual. Remember
pizza huts in the nineties. Pizza hut, yep, as big
as one of those inside No, in all train guarden.
It's like the whole basement, It's like the whole footprint
of the house is it's huge.
Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh my god. Also, it's interesting about pizza huts, and
in my imagination of them is that I was only
a child when I was in them, and so to
me they might have been the size of a football field.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (43:39):
They just seemed to extended to darkness.
Speaker 1 (43:42):
This is a little bigger than your typical classroom fourth grade. Okay,
it's unbelievable. It's so massive. It's so huge, you said.
He said, nothing had been mentioned about model trains during
the open home inspect kids.
Speaker 2 (44:02):
I always checked the under.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
He immediately asked his wife to come down and take
a look. She was equally shocked. Here's where it gets great. Coincidentally,
you is a big train enthusiast. He works as a
rolling stock engineer for a company that manufactures new trains
and designs and constructs new rail.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
No, no, he is not, No, he is not.
Speaker 1 (44:29):
He really does. His love of rail started when he
was young through a Japanese cartoon about a crime fighting train.
I guess we have Thomas the tank engine.
Speaker 2 (44:41):
That stop getting better. This keeps giving gifts.
Speaker 1 (44:45):
There's a reason our benevolent overlord, karen Ka sent this
all the way. It tells you how trains act like
people and protect children, he said, describing the shows you
has been in touch with the previous owner, who told
them their father built the train in the nineteen sixties
when they were just a child. The set had likely
not been used for years. The area is full of
(45:07):
spiders spider webs. When Jew first went beneath the house,
Jew said he's already had a number Zu, who said
he already had a number of toy trains and model trains.
Plans on getting the lines all cleaned, and he's going
to test to see what still works and get the
entire network back up and running. So he's keeping it.
(45:28):
He's just going forward. Well. Well, the separate control desks
for each of the different zones of the tracks is
likely represented by the modern technology of the nineteen sixties.
Ju hopes to upgrade it with some newer technology and
share his love of trains. My friend's children come over
and play. They don't even want to leave. They spend
(45:49):
the whole afternoon down there. Although there is no power
and the trains aren't running at the moment. But this
thing is so big. Oh wow, that you can just
it's like, it's incredible. And also he.
Speaker 2 (46:00):
Doesn't want to go under the undercroft and look at
it a non working.
Speaker 1 (46:05):
When I was a kid, I had to get dragged
up on my Buster Browns from the undercroft for every
building I went to, every single building, I was where
the hell is the undercroft? And how does one access?
Speaker 2 (46:20):
Your child is very strange, mister.
Speaker 1 (46:24):
Good Well, you should meet his uncle, Randall rick Z.
Those guys taught him too much about the undercroft at
a very inappropriately young age. God, it's so great that
this guy loves trains.
Speaker 2 (46:37):
Yes, are you kidding me? To find your passion in
your undercroft?
Speaker 1 (46:42):
I know, man, that's amazing. We don't really have that
in Los Angeles. Like my dad set up trains around Christmas.
My grandfather had him my one friend's dad is like
one of the biggest train connoisseur whatever. He like has
vintage ones, sets up a massive one. But like I
(47:02):
was like, I'm sure you'll have it in Jersey this Christmas.
Maybe your kids will get to go to a big
public train guard and just have the time of their life.
Speaker 2 (47:08):
Oh I think so, I'm looking forward to it. I've
just been anticipating fall as well, and just like how
it's how thrilling that's going to be for the kids too,
who have fundamentally never seen that kind of thing true.
Speaker 1 (47:24):
Oh man, Yeah, that's when nature really struts her stuff.
Speaker 2 (47:30):
I'm just I love it. The community all cool it is.
We've been here days, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (47:38):
And that's a good sign.
Speaker 2 (47:40):
Yesterday I was we finally like unpacked enough that we
had dishes, and we've been like just eating out for
like a month straight because you know, it's all packed
in like moving and uh. And I finally was like
we are we are cooking tonight. And so I went
to the little town into the little little shop, bought
(48:02):
all my groceries and then I was like, can I
take this this grocery cart with me because it's just
like in the middle of the town. They're like yeah,
And then I just like walked with my grocery cart
next door to the fish shop, then next door to
the wine shop, then across the street and into the
parking lot where my car was, and then brought it
all the way back. And I was like, I'm in
a goddamn fucking Nora Efron movie. I live in a
(48:26):
Nora Efron movie. Something hilarious is gonna start happening to
me right now. That's so nice, It's so goddamn cute.
Speaker 1 (48:35):
He's back, baby, back, baby.
Speaker 2 (48:37):
I'm so excited. Thank you so much, Scottie. Thanks for
doing this on a weekend for me.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Oh well, whenever you won. I love doing bananas, ban animals.
You're the best in the biz. We'll see a Banana's
Fest two. We'll see you on our Patreon where you
can start with one dollar up to five thousand dollars.
So one thing I wanted to mention before we sign off, Kurt,
we have a five thousand dollars level on the Patreon.
You have to do it for a year, but at
(49:02):
the end of that year we will do a live
bananas taping for as many people as you want wherever
you want.
Speaker 2 (49:08):
Yeah, you want to at your house, front yard, abandoned pizza,
at your church.
Speaker 1 (49:13):
And I just want to give a little maybe insider
information anybody listening to the end. If you own a business,
say you own a big brewery somewhere, big one and
you have a performance space, you could pay that five
thousand and we'll come do the performance. You can sell tickets,
you could sell beer, you can sell whatever you sell there,
and that's yours to keep, and that's yours to keep.
(49:34):
So just keep that in mind, because it's not just individuals.
If you want the Banana Boys to perform at your
business Patreon for a year, we'll be there and we
will bring the thunder. We're gonna at that show. We
will go so hard, will be tt we'll bring the
keep in mind for you business owners out there, even
(49:55):
if it's a dry cleaner. If you don't think we're
going to come and hang ourselves and go around the
rack telling each other strange news stories while.
Speaker 2 (50:03):
Trying not you got another big costic bag.
Speaker 1 (50:05):
You don't understand what the Banana Boys are up to. Anyways,
we love you, Thanks Bananamals Bananas. That was so far
out I'm not even sure Bananas is an exactly right
(50:26):
media production.
Speaker 2 (50:27):
Our producer and engineer is Katie Levine.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
The catchy Bananas theme song was composed and performed by Kahan.
Speaker 2 (50:33):
Artwork for Bananas was designed by Travis Millard.
Speaker 1 (50:36):
And our benevolent overlords are the great Karen Kilgareff and
Georgia Hardstar.
Speaker 2 (50:40):
And Lisa Maggott is our full human, not a robot,
part time employee.
Speaker 1 (50:44):
You can listen to Bananas on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,
or wherever you get your podcasts, and please feel free
to rate and review as many times as you can.
We love those five stars.
Host
Scotty Landes
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