Cthulu Bunny

Kevin has a Point Nemo nightmare. Harley gives Kevin a calendar. Plus: Billy Begins!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Hey man, welcome back to another beardless, dickless me. I'm Kevin,
and I got you something fucking way to take over
the Holy Sha.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I'm taking the reins, I know.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
I'm so happy to see it.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
This is a I just wanted you to start your
year off right. Oh what is it?

Speaker 1 (00:46):
Cuthulhu calendar?

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Cuthulu twenty twenty five calendar with a different Cuthulhu each month.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
Which is so fucked up because the first thought, I
thank you number one, You're so welcome. Number two. The
first thought I had this morning when I woke up
was Riley dead?

Speaker 2 (01:09):
That was your first thought today?

Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, oddly enough, Oh my god, crazy Riley where dead?
Cthulhu live streaming? Oh my god, I love that. I'm
gonna hang it right next to the bed, and your
mom could just deal with it. She's gonna watch a
picture of many different renditions of Cthulhu here.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
One of them is pretty cute.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
Let me tell you something terrifying. Can I tell you
about a fucking like horrifying dream I had the other night?

Speaker 2 (01:36):
Oh? I thought you were going to say another fucking
ring horror movie.

Speaker 1 (01:42):
I've moved on from the ring Camp, thank god, to
other horrifying. There's a guy named I d K. Serling
who does these you know, he I don't know what
they call him, reviews to bunks like or gives context
to like tiktoks. We talked about it last week, were hey, Apple,

(02:05):
oh yes, that guy. Then there's a you know, Morbid
Facts number four hundred and ninety, and each one is
as a dude like turned out he's got a real
curated mustache, young guy. And then you know he'll be like.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (02:22):
Uh, you know JFK was killed on the morning of
blah blah blah the same day that someone weird was born,
like weird coincidences and shit. And then there's morbid shit
about motherfuckers who were like dead and how they got
killed and stuff. But I think it is definitely inspired

(02:46):
by that. I had a fucking nightmare the other night.
I woke up in the morning where I was like,
thank god, that was just a dream. Number one in
one of those videos, I think it's the guy who's like,
you can't do this. Oh yeah, he goes the reason
that you wake up before you die in a dream

(03:09):
is because the brain has no context for death. Oh
it's true, you don't really die in your dreams, usually
wake up beforehand. One time, I do remember dying in
a dream and the dream went on.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
But I wasn't dead.

Speaker 1 (03:22):
There was like no penalty, So like, based on that alone, man,
I think that's why I woke up, because I was like,
I'm gonna die, but I have no context for the brain.
Can't create that story while I'm sleeping right right, can't
weave that show because it's like death anybody. Everything dreams

(03:47):
weave is predicated on experience and stuff. I mean, you know,
of course, unless you're like, well, riding a fucking unicorn.
That unicorn is predicated on some fucking experience, not with
a real unicorn, but you know the idea of unicorns,
unicorns and media and ship. I had a dream that
like I woke up and was standing balancing.

Speaker 2 (04:15):
On a rock in the middle of the.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
At point Nemo, no, are you serious?

Speaker 2 (04:23):
And it was bro it was are you holding babies?

Speaker 1 (04:28):
That's where it came from, a piece of ship. Oh
my god. I was haunted. I woke up and I
was like, fuck, the babies so scary because suddenly I'm like,
where am And then I realized I'm standing on a
fucking like point point nemo if you want, but literally

(04:49):
like a point like that, like a knitting needle, and
I'm balancing on it on my one foot. And then
I had this cognizant thought that it's like, I'm like,
I am fucked, Like I can't stay here forever, like
what I got, it's gonna go through my foot. I'm
gonna be here like fucking two minutes. And then yeah,

(05:12):
and I was facing the fact that I was gonna die,
and it was it was not comforting. It wasn't no,
not that way. I mean, think about how hard that would.

Speaker 2 (05:24):
Be, like I'm going to drown comforting.

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah, it's nice to be away from all those people,
just have a moment to think for myself. The only
I've done a lot of research on point Nemo since
we've spoken about it. The one thing that you'd be like,
who is You're not gonna get eaten by anything out there?
Nothing lives out there except that the thing I'd be

(05:53):
bouncing on, that fucking darning needle, and all this shudden,
the sudden fucking ocean depths. Cthulhu rises and it's just like, oh,
that would be a welcome relief at that you're like, please,
Oh my god, I'm gonna fucking I'm standing.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
On a knitting needle in the middle of the ocean.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
You know how much longer I had?

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Like tops two minutes take me, buddy, plus an honorable
way to go.

Speaker 1 (06:23):
Yeah, and you get to seek Athulu and you're like,
holy shit, it was real and maybe you never know,
like fucking in the world of infinite possibility. Put you
on the shoulder. It becomes buddy, honestly, you don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
Maybe keep you around.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
No Saturday nights on CBS and you solve crimes, get
people out of jams, and ship.

Speaker 3 (06:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:43):
So eventually and I'm like the leg man of ship.
He don't show up until the end. So it's like
the third act because it's expensive, but we always have
to be near.

Speaker 2 (06:51):
A body of water in order to take place in
the ocean at.

Speaker 1 (06:55):
Least where I could get to it and ship. And
I'm always I'm always like, you know, in the third act,
the fucking I'm like, hey, man, I think you did it,
and they're like, yeah, well you ain't gonna improve it,
and they pull a gun on me and ship and
that's what I'm like, Oh, if we were you know,
maybe two miles inland, I might be concerned, but as

(07:16):
you can see right over my shoulder, that's.

Speaker 2 (07:19):
The water with my good pal.

Speaker 1 (07:24):
The title of the show yet but you will now. Oh,
the guy's like, well are you doing that? He stopped
making that noise rises up and then he's like, dude.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Can you imagine if that was like you were the
sidekick to.

Speaker 4 (07:45):
That's what we were just imagining.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
But I could.

Speaker 2 (07:48):
Really it sounds cool.

Speaker 1 (07:50):
I'm way ahead of that. I'm in the sitcom version
of the show. Not a sitcom so much. Sounds like
an hour long procedure along the lines of Columbo. Quincy.
Familiar with Quincy, I've heard of it. Quincy was also
an hour long procedural with Jack Klugman, who was one
half of the Odd Couple, and since there was very
few were very few TV stations back in the day,

(08:13):
he was fucking way famous, even though he wasn't one
of the original Odd Couple that was Jack Lemon and
Walter Methow. They made a sitcom version. That's where that
guy got famous. So Jack Klugman was what they called
back in those days, quote a.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
TV star and that TV star.

Speaker 1 (08:33):
Uh, once you're you know, once a TV star was
TV star, particularly if you want a hit show, and
fucking The Odd Couple was as big as a gut.
Both him and Tony Randall played the other Felix on
The Odd Couple TV show. Got many bites at the
TV show Apple, I would like just a nibble. Look,

(08:54):
give me the core like a minute dumpster on a
Quentin Taranty. It was an.

Speaker 4 (09:03):
So uh. He was in a TV show called Quincy
em and you know what he is me, yeah, of
course it is.

Speaker 1 (09:16):
You were raised right, uh medical examiner. So he was
an hour long procedural where like you know, hey man,
this guy died but it ain't natural causes any assistant shilling.
And he lived on a house boat that was his
like quirk, and he was like in his god, I
want to say, in his fifties, but like I bet
you if you watch the show now, it was like

(09:37):
he was in his mid forties. But he looked like
an old man. Everyone looked old than the seventies kid. Wow,
everyone even the children looked like eighty. So that that
motherfucker Quincy. He would solve crimes, get people out of jams.
He didn't have Cthulhu. He's had his quick wits.

Speaker 2 (09:55):
Yeah, going back to Kulu, I have a question for
you or King Kong, who's your favorite?

Speaker 1 (10:10):
I mean two are fictional characters and one and one yeah,
one is dead Cthulhu who lies dreaming. I I'm not Yeah,
I'm more Cthulhu isn't Godzilla. I grew up with Godzilla.
He does come from up? No, yeah, how's the song?

Speaker 4 (10:29):
Go up from the depths thirty stories high?

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Breathe and fire ahead in the sky. Gozilla, Gozilla, Gozilla
and godsu which was the birdie version of Godzilla. Really,
there was an animated Godzilla who was just big ass
dinosaur who some reason it was fucking friends with people.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
The big one or the little one.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
The big one, but the little one hung out with
the people, but the little one, you know, Godzilla breeze
fucking fire. As I said, the little one would be
like and like a little surfle of smoke. He would
try to fly but crash and shit like that. He
was the comic relief, and he was meant to be
the Godzilla's son nephew, fucking young version of Godzilla's species.

Speaker 4 (11:20):
They were never quite clear.

Speaker 2 (11:21):
What's his name?

Speaker 1 (11:22):
Godzuki? Now Godzilla is a creation of Toho, and it
came out of World War two. You know, the atom bomb.
Of course, the United States dropped an adam bomb, two
of them, if you will, on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, and
because of that, naturally it affected their art for quite

(11:44):
some time. And one of the first reactions to the
atomic war the atomic bomb was Godzilla. Godzilla is a
metaphor for the atomic bomb.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Sow.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
This motherfucker comes up out of the ocean, trounces major cities,
level them, destroys buildings, fucking sends people running, screaming and shit,
and then disappears back in the sea. Has atomic breath,
so it could be like and just fucking fry people.
So it's uh Believe me as a kid, I was

(12:15):
not like, well, this must be a metaphor for you know, imperialism.
This this is something that only came to me later
in life.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
I was like, that's pretty wild.

Speaker 1 (12:23):
That makes fucking sense. You gotta watch Godzilla minus one. Oh,
it's so fucking fantastic.

Speaker 2 (12:28):
I hear a wonderful thing.

Speaker 1 (12:29):
It's like, legit wonderful. In any event, Uh, Kin Kong
was a big fixture of my childhood inasmuch as in
nineteen seventy seven slash seventy eight, they released the Deno
DeLaurentis remake, which introduces what's her name? Oh my god,

(12:51):
why is your name escaping me? I lover her? We
got old fucking what's your name? God? Damn it?

Speaker 2 (13:08):
You know the girl in King Kong?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I don't know. Ray was the girl in the
black and white one, but you know her name is
oh the actor actress and she no in your no
not Oh, I'm sorry, there's I'm talking about. There have
been three King Kong's my bad, but one of them,
no amys, was Lois Lane. Oh, yes, of course, which

(13:33):
is very akin.

Speaker 4 (13:34):
To fucking Dawn from King Kong.

Speaker 1 (13:37):
Don there was in the remake that Peter Jackson did.
That role was played by Naomi Campbell. Oh, Naomi Watts.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Yeah, Naomi Campbell was the mo model.

Speaker 1 (13:51):
Toomi Watts, the actress who was in mohalland Drive.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Yeah. Yeah, Jessica Lang, thank you, Oh my good, that's
who you forgot.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
Jessica Lang's debut work, wow was King Kong where she
was the no. So in any event, that movie was
huge When we were children, it was a huge flop.

Speaker 4 (14:14):
But for us kids.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
It was like. And the big switch from the black
and white one, which was on TV all the time,
was you know, in the black and white King Kong,
the classic he climbs.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
What a skyscraper?

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yes, but which one?

Speaker 2 (14:27):
Vampire state building?

Speaker 1 (14:29):
Very good in the remake nineteen seventy seven. Do you
know Dela Anti's remake with Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lang
and oh a host of others. Where what building would.

Speaker 4 (14:48):
Kong have climbed in the seventies. If they do a
Kong twenty.

Speaker 2 (14:56):
Twenty five, it wouldn't be there.

Speaker 1 (15:00):
Yes, So King Kong nineteen seventy seven, seventy eight, whenever
it came out poster is him one foot on each tower?
Oh wow? Taken out military jets. Oh wow. I mean
you know it was fantasy. Wow. So I got not

(15:23):
more respect and love for Godzilla and King Kong. Kathulhu
comes to you in your twenties.

Speaker 2 (15:30):
Yeah, when you need him most so true.

Speaker 1 (15:33):
When all the religions have let you down there, when
you realize you're back, oh the ancient ones. If there
is no divine intervention or justice, there will at least
be divine wrath.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
Of course, And you know, fucking that's all that matters
at the end of the day. Yeah, is divine wrath.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Oh great Cuthulhu, crush my enemy.

Speaker 2 (16:01):
Just do me this one more solid.

Speaker 1 (16:05):
Yeah, No, is just fucking badass and ship because p. Lovecraft,
while very problematic, is uh wrote some horrifying ship I
think and created.

Speaker 2 (16:18):
Cthulhu is number one reigning champion over all the monsters
in my opinion.

Speaker 1 (16:26):
For you, yeah, yeah, but you don't. I mean you
were not raised with a stable of monsters. Maybe my
generation might have been the last one to have like
true like movie mins. I love Crankenstein, Dracula, the wolf Man.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
They're making them, they're making them all, making them all.

Speaker 1 (16:49):
But and Jaws, Jaws, Jaws, Grizzly, these are the last
of the great movie monsters in my opinion. Some would argue, yeah, man,
fucking Grizzly came out run on the heels of Jaws.
It was about his jaws in the woods and now
same fucking story bear. Yes, this, but Grizzly wasn't like

(17:11):
he got a hold of coke, so he's nuts.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Grizzly was just like was he a giant bear?

Speaker 1 (17:15):
Yeah, he was a Grizzly. And those are they tried
to make it as terrifying as a shark, which you know,
I don't know where your generation is on it, but
like I grew up in a world that was.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
Like kill them all, the sharks or the bears, the.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
Sharks because of Jaws. The influence of fucking that movie
and the book are so great, no shit, you know,
And I unfortunately I came to that party late because
I was sold a different fucking Billy Goods.

Speaker 2 (17:44):
Sharks don't mean nothing by it.

Speaker 1 (17:46):
They you know, what was it like that morbid facts
in twenty twenty four or fourteen people were killed by sharks,
but sharks were killed the rate of fourteen thousand per day,
yeah or some hour. It wasn't even per day.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Bro, It was like a depressed so sad and they're
such cool, creepy I.

Speaker 1 (18:11):
Will, they're cool, and it is sad, but I need
you to step back and go the difference between that fish,
that shark, and some human being eating right, like they're
farming the sea.

Speaker 2 (18:22):
So it's like, yeah, I hate that. I'm a vegan.

Speaker 1 (18:28):
Yeah, yeah, you're like, so are you? I know, but
I've got I've got compassion for some motherfuckers, like the
difference between like me and my children eating and not
eating is like a net full of fish, Like it
ain't my way, Like I found another way, and I'm
not saying like anybody can find another way. Some people

(18:49):
like fishing is in my fucking blood. I'm a good
ad and I like him, and I don't have the
same morals and ethics that you're doing. Shit, it could
never be my way, even before I was vegan, Like,
oh my god, I hate it. I hated fishing when
I was a child. Oh god, they would take us
out on those six hour fucking party but never mind
the brutality of killing a thing, like going into its

(19:11):
neighborhood and being like, here, god, it's just so fucking boring, bro,
It's like baseball, and it just reminds me of like
wasted time in my childhood. Now, mind you, it's probably
dragged on maybe three party bits across my childhood, but
that would be eighteen hours of childhood. I'm never getting

(19:32):
them back now, mind you. I waste a lot of
time as an adult. That's my choice. That is your choice,
pick and choose.

Speaker 4 (19:40):
That's my fucking right back then, though, I'll never get them.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
That's quality time. You know what I'm saying, Almost everybody
from that period, you know who ain't mammally gone dead,
I don't get to spend no time with them, and shit, instead,
what was I doing sitting on a part already? Both
granted with some of the dead people in question, but still, oh,
I hate you could have.

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Been sitting on land with Mamally just having a good time.

Speaker 1 (20:08):
Honestly, I would have preferred that I was such a
Mamay's boy. But yeah, I'm fucking We grew up on
the water and I hated that ship, but it had
a lot to do with yours. I'll tell you that much.
So I know I don't know. I suspect two things
I've heard and put together on my own tute. Steven
Spielberg may not like me. Why long story, We don't

(20:31):
need to retell it here?

Speaker 2 (20:32):
Really?

Speaker 1 (20:33):
Why because your father got big mouth?

Speaker 2 (20:38):
Oh what you fucking do now that I want to
go over here?

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Judge your back up point band?

Speaker 4 (20:44):
Oh lord.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
Lord, I ain't trying to say we're even, but like
he did take away my childhood. I grew up in
a beach town and I couldn't enjoy it because I
was always like a shark, A shark, shark. I couldn't
sit on toilet without being likesh.

Speaker 2 (21:00):
That honestly a real fear, A real fear that I
used to have as well. See that you probably instilled.

Speaker 1 (21:07):
I was gonna say, it's probably like genetic and ship
in your DNA.

Speaker 2 (21:10):
I always was scared of a shark in the toilet.
I was always scared.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
Could you imagine your DNA is building you and they're like,
don't forget to put in the scared of sharks unreasonable?

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Also in the tub, anybody of water.

Speaker 1 (21:23):
I mean, it's that is for me. I don't know
why you would think that unless it was just in
the jeans, because I don't think I ever said like,
hey man, a shark could be in the toilet unless
I related to it as a kid that when I
was a kid, I was scared of being a sharking
and the toilet. And maybe then you were like and
I took you for being like, well, she's reasonably intelligent.
You'll know that that's ridiculous.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
I've always I've had a thing about bathrooms.

Speaker 1 (21:48):
Why yeah, you fucking staying them forever? Oh my god,
the moment we went out when you were a child
the moment the house went to a public place, it
was just like I gotta go from and then she
went and ship ain't even like she took a whiz
and got the fuck out of there. Man like Jennifer
be gone twenty minutes. I was like, Wow, she's like
she took a ship.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
You're on the fucking toilet for hours in my hoos
in my Yeah, I'm not out there.

Speaker 1 (22:15):
I'm not like a fucking burger king going like can
I go to the bathroom and then disappearing for a
half hour swinging feet on the toilet.

Speaker 2 (22:22):
Sometimes I gotta fucking go, okay, I.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Mean sometimes the putting you in a car was like
a laxative where we wound up next they were going
to suffer.

Speaker 2 (22:32):
I think I have that.

Speaker 1 (22:34):
I think the car movements just jumbled it up. And
then whenever we got where we're going, you were like
I got to drop off kids at the pool.

Speaker 2 (22:42):
I said, yeah, you were a big probably not what
I meant by the bathroom. I used to be so
scared of bloody Mary.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
I was so scared.

Speaker 2 (22:54):
Yeah, I was so scared.

Speaker 4 (22:55):
Well fed you that ship because I didn't I don't know,
but I like.

Speaker 2 (22:58):
I also should I say this or no?

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Do it?

Speaker 2 (23:05):
Remember the accident at school in Pittsburgh. No, when I
heed my pants because I was too scared to go
to the bathroom alone.

Speaker 1 (23:19):
So you were in I don't remember this at all.
You don't.

Speaker 2 (23:22):
You had to come get me from school.

Speaker 1 (23:24):
Me personally, you and mom.

Speaker 4 (23:26):
So the idea was you were in class and.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
I really had to go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
You didn't want to ask to go.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
No, I didn't want to go in the bathroom because
it was very scary. It was a scary bathroom.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
So you were holding it for a long time, and
then finally.

Speaker 2 (23:41):
You were like, I thought if I let a little out,
I would feel better.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
The fuck kind of backwards ass plan is out. How
old are you eight?

Speaker 4 (23:49):
I don't know, maybe nine or something like that.

Speaker 2 (23:54):
No, not nine, I was like seven.

Speaker 1 (23:57):
We shot that movie came out in two thousand thousand
and seven CB eight bit. No, I'm born in ninety
nine seven.

Speaker 2 (24:07):
The movie came out in two thousand and seven.

Speaker 1 (24:08):
Shot it and it came out in two thousand and seven.

Speaker 2 (24:11):
Maybe you shot it in two thousand and six. Maybe
you're mis remembering. Maybe it was before my birthday and
I was still seven.

Speaker 1 (24:18):
Look, keep pushing it. I'll prove you were a teenager
when it happened.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
I don't remember that, Mom would remember? You don't remember?

Speaker 1 (24:29):
I mean, would you want to remember something like that?
It seems fucking traumatizing enough for you to be.

Speaker 4 (24:34):
Holding on to six.

Speaker 2 (24:36):
I remember it Clara's day? YEA, so embarrassing.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
Do you remember any of the kids in class being like, yes,
anybody hear that?

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Anyone to hear a stream?

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Was it loud?

Speaker 2 (24:51):
I can't remember that?

Speaker 1 (24:55):
Yes? And then did somebody like raise their hand in
tattle on you?

Speaker 2 (25:03):
Did you tell I had to tattle myself.

Speaker 1 (25:06):
You're like, look, look, I'm terrified of the bathroom, but
I'm even more scared was going to happen if I
continue to let out a little because.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
I thought it would work. I thought it would get
me through.

Speaker 4 (25:19):
Were you uh embarrassedly sad?

Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah? I was. I was mortified.

Speaker 2 (25:25):
I was very sad, and I was very embarrassed. But
I was more than anything scared of the bathroom. And
I was very scared of the bathroom in my own
hoose for my whole childhood.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
Your own bathroom and your own hoos.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
Yes, because I was scared, bloody Mary was there.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Oh in the mirror.

Speaker 4 (25:41):
Yeah, yeah, they got mirrors all over this fucking house.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
I really do grew up in a house of vanity.
So bloody Mary was looking around. I mean some people
got like the mirror in the bathroom and ship. We
had like hallway mirrors that were just giant mirrors for
no other reason than like, here's decor at the end
of a hallway. Giganist asked, fucking mirror, where Bloody maryge
Probably She's like, oh, it is like a New York apartment. Perfect,

(26:06):
this is fantastic. I ain't going nowhere.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
I haunt and ship.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
Do you know that.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
I also used to be like very concerned about the
cracks on the floor because the floor is tile and
there are like cracks in some places, and I used
to make sure I did not step.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
On it for fear of breaking your mother's back.

Speaker 2 (26:26):
Your back, isn't it your Oh no, I guess it
is your mother's back.

Speaker 4 (26:32):
Don't step on a crack and break your mad it's back.

Speaker 2 (26:36):
Yeah, I was. I was really trying to prevent breaking
your mother.

Speaker 4 (26:41):
Might I see good?

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Look it out?

Speaker 2 (26:45):
I tried.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
You could have just thrown a rug down.

Speaker 2 (26:48):
Basically my point is I was living in fear. I
was truly living in fear. No cracks, no mirrors, no bathroom.

Speaker 1 (26:57):
Until Sinny, until Sinny was the courage Sinna. I know,
perhaps it's premature, but well.

Speaker 2 (27:07):
Perhaps, but the uh you can speak about it in
hopes that it happens.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
There is a believe it or not kids. I always
find this fucking fascinating. There there there are things called
bunny rescues, of course, where it's like who gets rid
of bunny?

Speaker 2 (27:27):
So many people, I guess, but this one's not even.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
Sa ain't even that. This is a situation of somebody
who has a bunny, but they can't keep the bunny
because somebody's allergic to the bunny.

Speaker 2 (27:36):
Today I went to a fitting and I did you get.

Speaker 1 (27:42):
Ready to tell the tale? You're like, bro, bro, this is.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
Please, thank you. And I have this necklace on that
Austin got me for Christmas, That says Sinna, very thoughtful.

Speaker 4 (27:57):
I think we talked about it on one of the
other episodes.

Speaker 5 (27:59):
But yes, Harry fucking score Austin and true like path,
yes you know you're getting really fucked for these.

Speaker 2 (28:10):
Okay, all right, So anyways, I was at this fitting.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
I hate you.

Speaker 2 (28:25):
The costume designer saw my.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Necklace, can we sign bar for one second?

Speaker 2 (28:30):
The costume designers were right back.

Speaker 4 (28:32):
To the costume design, but just to just when I
saw it. It took me back.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
I I've been given quite a few pieces of jewelry
in my day, mostly to your mother.

Speaker 4 (28:47):
But even prior to that, I've given jewelry to.

Speaker 1 (28:51):
Some Oh.

Speaker 2 (28:56):
Scam.

Speaker 1 (28:58):
Well, let me tell you. None of the jay I
ever gave out before your mother ever came. Fucking Tiffany,
that was your mother. Beat that shit into me. But anyway,
back in the day, way back in the day, I
was going out with this girl and she was summer

(29:19):
of eighty nine and Batman was coming Tim Burton's Batman
and it was fucking huge. Remember how big Deadpool Wolverine
was this summer. Times that by five and you'll get
Batmania like it was fucking everywhere the whole fucking world.

(29:40):
It was amazing. So oddly enough, they weren't ready for it,
like you would think, like Batman, Oh my god, they
must have been printing money with all the merchandise. They
weren't ready. So action figures came later, and we're not good.
The first wave a lot of ship came later. Who
was on top of it was like d C because

(30:01):
they were doing fucking.

Speaker 2 (30:02):
Batman where this is going?

Speaker 4 (30:05):
So I probably not so really, yeah.

Speaker 1 (30:07):
There was no Batman jewelry whatsoever. And this girl that
I was going out with, I wanted to get her
a bat insignia because which now, you know, fucking throw
a rock in any mall if there's one left, and
you'll find somebody's alway ship. You don't have to go

(30:30):
that far. Go to Target, you can buy a fucking
Batman Nicholas. But back then nothing. So I was going
to school at the New School for Social Research at
Eugene Lang up in the city, and I was had
a work study program, so I worked in the office
every day for like three hours for I forget the

(30:53):
lady's name, Dorothy, I forget no Dorothy. Dotty was her
assistant and I kind of intern for Dottie, so Dotty
knew New York Way better than me. One of the
only times I ever been in a subway in my
life was when Dotty took me onto the subway to
go to Chinatown to go to a jeweler and get

(31:14):
a Batman logo necklace made and I had to, you know,
just took a picture out and gave it to the
guy and tried to communicate. Is because his English was
way better than my fucking Chinese. But like he was
trying to, I was trying to communicate, like it could
kind of look like this. They did it while we waited.

Speaker 3 (31:36):
Whoa.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
It took out a sheet of fucking eighteen or fourteen
care gold whatever fucking you know gold? I think fourteen
care gold is the standard, right, took out this like
thin sheet of gold and like literally just cut a
bat that's fire fire in nineteen eighty nine and shit.
And so when you were like, Austin gave me this

(31:59):
and it said Senna, I was like, okay, I know
he ain't going into target being like, yo, do you
have Senna? And gold? Like Senna did not exist until
he had it made. So that I was like, how
how ironic the man she wants to marry just like

(32:20):
dear old dad, oh.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Fund, But how narcissistic? Oh egotistical?

Speaker 1 (32:29):
That yes, I didn't think of that was too bad.
I mean I literally look behind me, pictures me everywhere.
That seems way more egotistical than maybe.

Speaker 4 (32:40):
I'm like, oh, I made a jewelry for my girlfriend too.

Speaker 6 (32:44):
To say that Austin is like dear old dad because
he got me a necklace trying to ruin my good time.

Speaker 1 (32:53):
Every boy marries his mother. Conversely, I would imagine maybe
every daughter married.

Speaker 2 (33:03):
About and so I'm packing up for the day. I'm
packing up.

Speaker 1 (33:10):
You're an audition, a fitting. You had a fitting for
a movie. Sidebar, we're both shut up.

Speaker 4 (33:23):
Back to your state.

Speaker 1 (33:25):
She had a good time doing. I got to act,
I got to say lines, good for you, got for you.
I'm just saying, get that kind of work often me, me, me,
because I don't hire myself with that person.

Speaker 2 (33:39):
This is this is the time when all I hear
is yeah, yeah, that's what I'm hearing right now, all
right back to you anyways, So can I say it
or are you gonna sidebar?

Speaker 1 (33:57):
It's just funny because you know what I hear.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
That noise was like through something my dad.

Speaker 1 (34:07):
For those who aren't watching, which is a good time
to remind the audience if you're just listening to beardless
dickless me, what the fuck you're missing out?

Speaker 2 (34:15):
You could watch my your disdain for the man.

Speaker 1 (34:19):
In front of me by going to that Kevinsmith dot com.

Speaker 4 (34:24):
That Kevin Smith club dot com.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
Club that's important anyway, There you are there, you are
trying ship on for your movie, Yes, for your motion
picture debut of twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
And the costume designer asked what my necklace said? I
said Sinna, And I said, my rabbit has passed away.

Speaker 1 (34:49):
And what.

Speaker 2 (34:52):
She asked, who sinner was? I said, my rabbit? She
just passed away.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
And then say, no, you didn't tell her that your
fucking boyfriend had that maid. That's like a big part
of the.

Speaker 2 (35:02):
Show talking Aboutna no ship, but who gave it to you?

Speaker 1 (35:09):
She didn't stop to be like, well, I know you
can't just buy cent off the rack, so what's the
story there.

Speaker 6 (35:15):
She's a costume designer, so I'm pretty sure she knows
where to get a custom necklace.

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Then I would imagine she would have been like, oh,
did you have that maid because you love your bunny
so much, which would have opened the door for to
be like, I did not, but my boyfriend did.

Speaker 4 (35:30):
And by the door, it's something my father also.

Speaker 1 (35:35):
Courty story. Why can't can't it be me?

Speaker 2 (35:46):
I'm kidding me, kiving me? Can't please?

Speaker 1 (35:51):
It sucks when stories don't have me go back to
your story. I'm fucking I'm on the edge of my seat.
What does he do?

Speaker 4 (36:00):
This man you seek?

Speaker 2 (36:03):
I was talking to a woman.

Speaker 1 (36:07):
And oh my god, what what does he do?

Speaker 4 (36:11):
This man you seek?

Speaker 2 (36:14):
Tell me? Is it Harry Potter? He sounded like snape.

Speaker 1 (36:19):
Not a bad I mean, nowhere near what it is.

Speaker 2 (36:23):
But I could see where you might You sounded like snape.
That's why?

Speaker 4 (36:28):
What does he do this man you seek?

Speaker 1 (36:34):
No, that is incidental, not ringing any bells.

Speaker 4 (36:42):
You are so ba.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
At this game.

Speaker 2 (36:48):
Showing the sheep close?

Speaker 4 (36:51):
What is a little sheep?

Speaker 1 (36:53):
Lamb?

Speaker 2 (36:54):
Oh, silence of the lambs?

Speaker 1 (36:59):
Like you know what? She got the reference from that?

Speaker 2 (37:07):
Okay, all right, ready, yeah, alright.

Speaker 7 (37:10):
So the costume lady Yeslace, inquires about my necklace and
I tell her it is my rabbit who just passed away.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
She said, wow, I know of a rabbit who needs
a home right now. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Oh, this kid's This is the point of the story,
not so much that Austin credit that my.

Speaker 6 (37:30):
Dad made a necklace for his fucking past girlfriend, which
I really want to hear about, and then how it
relates to Austin.

Speaker 1 (37:42):
Listen, to the stories that you tell about your boyfriend
and stuff.

Speaker 2 (37:46):
I tell compelling stories about how I pissed my pants.

Speaker 4 (37:51):
Absolutely, you're right, and.

Speaker 2 (37:56):
I wasn't. AWF, I wasn't planning on adopting another rabbit
right now.

Speaker 1 (38:03):
Nobody's ever planning on adopting another rabbit right now.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
Well, I wanted at the time that it's meant to,
and it appears that it's happening. This rabbit needs a home.

Speaker 1 (38:13):
What is this rabbit's name? Billy, Billy, You got a
picture on your phone?

Speaker 3 (38:22):
Good?

Speaker 1 (38:22):
Yeah, fucking those that Kevin Smith club members are dicklets
are bess. Check check out that noble customer. Two men
putting right up to the lens. Look at that champion.

(38:43):
It's like, hello, I'm here to mend your broken hot darling.
He looks like cinnamon buddy, an Eastern Atlantic bunny. He's like, holy,
I'm here to make a fit of that.

Speaker 2 (38:54):
Do you remember what carry grant one time? I was
trying to say, like an old timey accent. You didn't
know what I was talking about.

Speaker 1 (39:01):
That's what you're trying to do the midday.

Speaker 2 (39:04):
Yeah, yeah, that's what I was talking about.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
Really, I do. Yeah, So are you gonna Are you
gonna let a new bunny into your life?

Speaker 2 (39:14):
We'll see next on next week's episode. I'm gonna go
meet him tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (39:18):
Relatively confident that we can call this episode Here comes
the Bun, Here comes the Bun. And that's I think that.

Speaker 2 (39:33):
I asked you a serious question. Do you think cinnamons
okay with it?

Speaker 1 (39:39):
I think Cinnamon drove Billy into your life. Yeah, I
think Cinnamon's like, she needs a bunny.

Speaker 2 (39:46):
I don't want to be disrespectful to Cinnamon.

Speaker 1 (39:48):
You're not, I think so.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
But also, a bunny needs a home. Am I going
to say home? And if not, the bunny is going
to end up in a shelter? And I don't. I don't.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Judge here, I'm already I'm on board. You ain't got
to convince me.

Speaker 2 (40:04):
I'm just saying I'm trying to convince myself.

Speaker 1 (40:06):
You don't convince yourself.

Speaker 4 (40:08):
Just do it.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
Nobody's objecting, even your mother, who at first was like,
I don't know, is now like you know when you left,
you was like looking bunny.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
Yeah, Billy's pretty handsome.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
He was really handsome and Sinna if you believe you
know all the internet energy is neither created nor destroyed
all the energy that ever existed from the Big Bang.
For it, it's the same amount of energy has always
been in the universe. So the energy of Sinny pushing
Billy towards you, that's what I would say. That energy

(40:44):
knows like, hey, this rabbit's in need, and I know
somebody who's perfect. Yeah, and now the fun begins, Pewie.
But there's a chance you may not get Billy.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
I mean, I don't know if Billy. It's like if
I meet Billy and Billy's like.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
He does all.

Speaker 2 (41:08):
If you find.

Speaker 6 (41:09):
Any speaks, no, i'd be likennies behind holy ship.

Speaker 1 (41:19):
I got one of them. I'm rich. Oh Katholu, bunny,
give me my magic wish, fill my belly with wine,
in my head full of fish. Wait, that's one of us. Sure,
it's like a monkey's pall kind of story.

Speaker 2 (41:36):
That's exactly what I was hoping for.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
You waste, you blow to the wishes, and then you
think you're clever and you use the third wish to
wish for five more wishes. But then that's when the
Cthulhu bunny is just the bunny hops away. It's that simple.

Speaker 4 (41:51):
You'd imagine you'd be destroyed. But Bunny is like, I
ain't that kind of cthul.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
But then I.

Speaker 1 (41:57):
Just hop away ship. That's that. You know what's more
horrifying How I turned my back on you so quickly.

Speaker 2 (42:05):
Yeah that hurts.

Speaker 1 (42:08):
Yeah, anything that could pop out of the ocean, you
lose Cthulu Bunny period, You who are fucked in this
life because ain't nobody holds the grounds like a Caulu
Bunny baby? Oh no, oh no, I hope to god,
uh Billy comes home tomorrow, and I hope you're very

(42:30):
happy together.

Speaker 2 (42:33):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
I can see this being Uh, you're not gonna get
this reference. But there was a movie years ago called
Single White Female, in which, let's see, Bridget Fonda was
a girl who was going out with Stephen Webber and
she got a roommate, and the roommate is played by
the great Jennifer Jason Lee. And it's a kind of

(42:59):
from Hell genre, like you know, the Nanny from Hell,
the mother from Hell is the roommate from Hell. So
slowly she starts like she gets her hair cut like
Bridget Fonda, like Jennifer Jason Leada. She starts like talking
like her starts like buying the same clothes. She starts
twining her scary, and then she wants to replace her scary.

(43:22):
There's a very fucking like, very very risque scene for
the nineties because it was an early nineties movie where
h Stephen I believe it's Stephen Webber her the boyfriend. Yeah,
I'm pretty sure Stephen Webber. He's in bed, like sleeping
and shit. And then Bridget Fonda playing his girlfriend crawls

(43:44):
into bed with him and seduces him awake and stuff,
at least he thinks, and then there's some shenanigans going on.
I don't want to go deep. You probably don't know
what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
It I no clue oral and whatnot.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
And what happens is he says the bridge of fond
of character's name, like like fucking Nancy or whatever. He's like, oh, Nancy,
and all of a sudden they cut to fucking Jennifer
Jason Lee looking up and going like it's not Nancy,
and then she quick goes and fucking finishes and he's like, no, no, but.

Speaker 2 (44:25):
So I'm sorry, what are you saying that?

Speaker 1 (44:29):
The bunny? What? What?

Speaker 2 (44:31):
What's the relation here?

Speaker 1 (44:33):
Billy moves in and he starts fucking icing out Austin.
He becomes this single white bunny for Austin.

Speaker 4 (44:42):
Starts dressing like Austin.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
First he's He's like, a yeah, no, this is Billy,
real Billy, Billy bunny bullshit. Billy's real, and Billy could
be a creep.

Speaker 4 (44:57):
He could move in and be like.

Speaker 1 (45:00):
Were this fucking guy? And then if if there is
no Austin, then I'm the Austin. And so slowly he's
fucking trying to ice a mount shit. Austin gonna wind
up in the trunk of your car, is what I'm saying.
Because Billy is.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
Just making me feel real good about this situation.

Speaker 1 (45:15):
I don't know what happened to him.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
I don't know. I'm just a bunny.

Speaker 1 (45:21):
Meanwhile, he's getting like a shaggy haircut, wears Scooby Doo
T shirts and ship.

Speaker 2 (45:25):
Oh my god, stays up late on the Uh.

Speaker 1 (45:29):
You come in my office one day and I'm like, oh, Harley,
I'm just here rehearsing for four thirty movie Part two
with Austins around. Bill. That's not Austin.

Speaker 4 (45:42):
That's I'm like, oh, Harley, stop it.

Speaker 1 (45:45):
Austin she's crazy, right, I swear that'sy.

Speaker 2 (45:53):
China and the bunny Cuzulu.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
No. I think Billy is actually a pretty fun name.
I would never choose.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
I would never choose.

Speaker 1 (46:01):
But if he's coming to you as a billy, I
think you gotta spend a little time, don't you do?

Speaker 2 (46:08):
Is he gonna sound like? What's he gonna sound like?

Speaker 1 (46:11):
What boy's gonna be an?

Speaker 2 (46:15):
That's talking to Billy?

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Hello, Hello, Billy.

Speaker 3 (46:19):
You're one of them bonies with a wiener leen. I
had one of them around here. God damn weener bunny.
Everybody look, it's god damn wiener bunny.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
That we got.

Speaker 4 (46:36):
Say for yourself, weener boy. That's how he gets the
debuts voice.

Speaker 6 (46:45):
Oh my god, what if Billy's like some Broadway like
He's like show tunes.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Type of guy.

Speaker 1 (46:51):
He's like I was raised and Broadway. Hello Hello. He's
like one sing less sensation and you can't forget the rest?
Five six?

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Oh my god, that is Billy.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
I think I mean this is And this is no.

Speaker 4 (47:14):
Judgment on Sinny, but Sinny came.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Sinny was a rescue bunny who came from a sad
situation prior to you like you saved her and made
her life better and stuff like that. This is a
bunny who's just like had.

Speaker 2 (47:27):
No problems as far as you know. Good life bunny.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
Very delete. This bunny comes from bell Air.

Speaker 2 (47:34):
This bunny is currently living in Belz.

Speaker 1 (47:37):
This is one of those moneyed bunnies. That's the title
of the show.

Speaker 4 (47:41):
Never mon Here comes the bun funck that noise, the
money bunny.

Speaker 2 (47:47):
He's a fancy style.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
And be like, oh, I'll take Billy and to check
for ten thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (47:54):
Remember, I need you to support you.

Speaker 1 (47:56):
Like like give a cat or give one of the
cats in Jersey to somebody who was like, well you
got to pay for its vet. What the fuck is.

Speaker 3 (48:08):
Right?

Speaker 1 (48:08):
I'm like, no, right at all? Yeah, the moneyed bunny.
The Billy bell Aer story. Wow, I like single white bunny,
single bunny. I like single white females, so it would
be single bunny.

Speaker 2 (48:26):
Male, single.

Speaker 1 (48:29):
Single bunny. Mail Man and Austin. At one point it
is just the conversation where it's like, path, it's late
at night, you're in bed, puff, what do you like Billy?
I don't trust Billy.

Speaker 2 (48:51):
Fuck God, I'm not gonna be scared of Billy. Now
you're building Billy up.

Speaker 1 (48:56):
My head rolls over and fucking looks and there's fucking
Billy on the fuck floor going, oh.

Speaker 2 (49:01):
My god, you're scary me. Well, I guess you'd be
going after Austin, not me, so I'm good.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
And then not only that, but then he's gonna take
Austin's place. You're gonna bunnies, looks like you know. But
then there's the third vacccene where fucking like you finally
confront the bunny, like where Billy, where's Austin And he's
just digging into his fucking leg with a knife. It
was just like, I want you to see what I see, Harley, and.

Speaker 2 (49:45):
I didn't think anything. Oh my god, Billy.

Speaker 1 (49:50):
And it comes down to you and Billy and a gun.
That's at these movies end, or you push your ey
I think, and maybe single females got pushed out a window.
I forget, but like you gotta eventually, you gotta fucking
kill the intruth.

Speaker 2 (50:08):
Billy throws me out the window of my one story home.

Speaker 1 (50:12):
Sometimes in these stories, the psychopath, like you know, does
some damage to the hero heroine, but generally no, you're
left alone. It's the world around you that gets destroyed,
almost to the point where you could be framed for
these things as well. But then that wasn't her plan

(50:34):
so much as like ultimately just replacing you.

Speaker 2 (50:38):
So Billy's planned, that'd.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Be Billy's planning. Billy sees how good Austin has it.

Speaker 2 (50:42):
It's just like sitting back, he's just waiting.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
Looking around doing the fucking like square footage for a bunny.

Speaker 2 (50:54):
Buying a gun. Yeah, Billy look, or maybe Billy already
had one.

Speaker 1 (51:00):
It comes with because when you live in bel Air. Yeah,
I get that fresh Prince.

Speaker 2 (51:05):
Money bunnies in bel Air.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
You know what, Let's leave the bunny on the back
burner for the moment and address the elephant in the room.
And my lashes they're awfully up pointing. My god, Is
that what it's called?

Speaker 2 (51:26):
Would you say that my lashes are lifted?

Speaker 1 (51:29):
Is that what it is?

Speaker 4 (51:30):
It's a lash lift?

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Is that a process? That's a thing.

Speaker 7 (51:33):
Okay, So you have my eyelashes, Yes, you gave me
your eyelashes that go all the way down.

Speaker 2 (51:41):
But instead of going up, bruh, they don't go to
they don't.

Speaker 4 (51:46):
Go That's that's what your mom calls me.

Speaker 1 (51:49):
All the way down.

Speaker 2 (51:52):
Shut up?

Speaker 1 (51:55):
They point downward, yes, normally point out my lashes lashes, yes,
normally point upward.

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Ideally yes, ideally but not normal no.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
Our downward pointing ones or outliers. Yes, And why on
fuck sake would you want to normalize? Fucking what are you? Sneech?
That sneech? Didn't I read that sneeche book to you
and your mother as well? I did the suses she
did all you read me the sneech book.

Speaker 4 (52:27):
I did read souses.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
Yeah, yeah, I did, as a matter of fact, and
I did voices performances. And then one day you were like,
maybe I want to be an actor. Do you wonder
how sneech there were no stars upon oars?

Speaker 2 (52:45):
You're a sneech.

Speaker 4 (52:47):
No, I'm the fucking guy selling the stars.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
That's why I want to be in that story, because
the sneaches without the star, they're both fucking idiots. Like,
that's the point of that story.

Speaker 2 (52:59):
You're the ones.

Speaker 1 (53:00):
No, I'm not the ones there. It hits a whole
different story in that story.

Speaker 4 (53:04):
I'm the loraxe, I speak for the tree.

Speaker 2 (53:06):
You're the one creepy little that lives in the town.

Speaker 1 (53:11):
No way, that ain't no way, you're that creepy. That's Billy.
That's why I never see him. And Ship puts on
that human mit points and Ship then takes it off.
Just there poxt Moe. He's the hunter Rose of Yeah,

(53:36):
foster cats not foster what would.

Speaker 2 (53:38):
It be adopted cat? You give huge onancelor vibes.

Speaker 4 (53:45):
You don't even know what a once ser vibe is.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
I do, I'm looking at it.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
No, it ain't here.

Speaker 4 (53:50):
I'll do you.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
I'll show you right now. Can never be the once sir,
once there would never be vegan m yeah, so eat it. Well.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
You made a pretty non vegan point earlier, which one
the one about the fish.

Speaker 1 (54:04):
It's compassionate human point. I look, I love all animals,
including the.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
Human animal, including the humans.

Speaker 4 (54:12):
Humans.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Humans are like fucking you know. They may not be
as cute, but they can do cool things.

Speaker 2 (54:17):
Humans can do cool things.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
And I'm I'm also humans, like I got no choice.

Speaker 4 (54:22):
I mean, I'm team German Shepherd too.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
I think there's always an option for what to not
eat animals. That's not true a lot of the time.

Speaker 1 (54:34):
I I.

Speaker 2 (54:38):
Mean, you know what, sure beans.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
I don't have beans at a desert island. Man if
you're standing on a fucking knitting needle in the middle
of Point Nemo. You think you're going to be eaten beans?
You know what, You ain't gonna beaten fish because nothing
lives there. Do you know what? You know what's out there?
That's when they crashed rockets? Really yeah, that's the rocket
aveyard man, they say. You know, so the International Space
Station is starting to show cracks, and it's like, I

(55:04):
ain't gonna last forever. When it comes down in a
controlled descent, they're gonna drop the whole First, they'll take
off all the you know, fucking toxic hazards and fluids
and shit like that, and then that fucker will go
right into the into Point Nemo because there's nothing living
out there. And get this, it may create some fucking

(55:27):
life because a reef will grow out of it.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Oh, isn't that fact that interesting?

Speaker 1 (55:34):
So yeah, if you're at Point Nemo, you're not afraid
to get eaten by a fucking shark or even a cuthulhu.
You're terrified of you're gonna your event.

Speaker 4 (55:45):
You can't what are you going tread water forever?

Speaker 2 (55:47):
Are you gonna? I think I think by that point
you're not even thinking about food if you're standing on
a knitting needle.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
I can tell you exactly what was going through my
head because I was fucking sobering a ship.

Speaker 4 (56:01):
I was just like, this is it.

Speaker 1 (56:03):
I knew. I knew the complete opposite of hope, which
I guess is fear terror. I was like, there's no
fucking hope, Like, this situation is never going to get
better than this. Think about it. I was balancing on
a knitting needle that was extended out of the ocean,
and in point.

Speaker 2 (56:23):
Nemo could not get worse.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
It's all gonna get worse. That is the best it's
ever going to be, because every moment after that is
me falling into the water, treading water, drowning.

Speaker 2 (56:34):
And yeah, that's true.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
So I'm at least like I'm.

Speaker 1 (56:37):
On quote unquote pland I mean, I gotta fucking find
the upside to this shit. Good point, but I woke
the fuck up, bro, because I was like, yeah, and
it did make me go like, oh fuck.

Speaker 4 (56:49):
One day reminded me of that, Uh what was that
the Foo Fighters song?

Speaker 1 (56:57):
What of these days?

Speaker 2 (57:01):
Is that what you were singing to yourself while standing
on the knitting needle?

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Yeah, what is it?

Speaker 4 (57:04):
You one of these days.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
You're the bombs will drop, is it? Hope will stop
and you'll learn to live in fear. That's It's true.
The opposite of fear, I guess is hope because there's like,
hey man, maybe something something to work out, maybe you know,
but like fucking when you're like, nothing is going to

(57:35):
work out if I fall off this, when I fall
off this fucking knitting needle that I'm fucking balanced on
the middle of the furthest point from humanity from land,
I should say on the globe number one, Who.

Speaker 4 (57:55):
Did I upset you?

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Really somewhere?

Speaker 4 (57:58):
Ooh the fuck you really?

Speaker 1 (58:02):
Like? Oh, I don't want to kill him.

Speaker 2 (58:04):
I just I just want to place him on a
knitting needle and.

Speaker 1 (58:07):
If he dies out there, that ain't on me. I
watched a video about a team that went out to
Point Nemo, like the.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Dreams about this.

Speaker 1 (58:19):
They got off the boat like they had a fucking
counter and ship like a counter compass, and they were like,
these are the exact coordinates. They got off the boat
and they swam around in a point.

Speaker 2 (58:29):
Because nothing's there there. I fact that until comes.

Speaker 1 (58:35):
Out of the water. Look, bro, you don't even got
to bring kathudo and make it scary. The desolation. Yeah,
you know how fucking alone you would be.

Speaker 2 (58:48):
That's terrifying.

Speaker 1 (58:51):
It robs the mind of reason and logic. You will
never see anyone else again.

Speaker 4 (58:58):
And you know.

Speaker 1 (59:01):
That your breaths are numbered at that point. I mean
they always are. But now you're you're getting to the
low end. You're you're you're only in double digits left.
But honestly, isn't that every moment of your life?

Speaker 2 (59:17):
Fuck?

Speaker 1 (59:18):
Truly, whenever I start to think about like, oh, man,
fucking this or this or in my I start whipping
up like things to be scared about in the future.
I'm always like, you could fucking drop dead in ten minutes.
A meteor could come fucking rocketing through the house. You'd
be only the second person that was ever hit by

(59:41):
a meteor and the first ever killed. So you know
i'd be I have that going for me. I mean,
at the end of the day, Clerk's end, he's the
only human being that ever got hit by a meteor
and died.

Speaker 2 (59:54):
Wow, can somebody get hit by a meteor and love?

Speaker 1 (59:58):
It? Was a Lady Morbid Facts four hundred and ninety
three ethel Whatever the fuck was in her bed when
she heard a loud noise and felt something stinging. She
turned on the light to see a hole in the
ceiling and a meteor in bed beside her. If it
had gone two inches to the left, she would have

(01:00:21):
been the second person hit by a meteor in the
first one who died that well, the first person who
got hit by a meter and the first person died
from it. Nobody's ever died by getting as far as
we know recorded. I mean, you know, life is long
and there are nooks and crannies everywhere, So maybe it happened.
Nobody reported it, but I doubt it because that's the

(01:00:42):
kind of thing you tell people like, oh my god,
do you know Barbara, she got hit by fucking meteor
and died? Like, you can't prepare against that? What are
younna do? Wear a fucking suit armor for the rest
of your life.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
That's something you talk about.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Telling you, bro, you gotta live every moment in your
life like you're standing on a fucking darning needle that's
jutting out of the water at point nemo. Facts on God,
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 4 (01:01:11):
What's that? What is it?

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
On? God?

Speaker 2 (01:01:14):
On God?

Speaker 4 (01:01:16):
It just means because God is my witness. Yeah, kind
of thing like I swear to God.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
He means like true truth. Yeah on God.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
Period. There it is because there's your beardless dickless more
for the beginning of twenty twenty five.

Speaker 2 (01:01:37):
Yeah, it's two weeks.

Speaker 1 (01:01:39):
So far, so good, so far so good. There it
is man, uh for beardless dickless me to our good
folks who listen to this. iHeart radio show. That's Spotify
and Apple wherever you get these fucking podcasts these days. Kids, Uh,

(01:02:00):
thanks for hanging out. Thank you with me.

Speaker 4 (01:02:05):
And with Billy's mom.

Speaker 1 (01:02:09):
Yeah, feeling it for beardless. This is me, I'm Kevin
and go for beardless tickless day.

Speaker 8 (01:02:30):
This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using
our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey, kids,
did you like what you just heard?

Speaker 1 (01:02:43):
Well, guess what.

Speaker 8 (01:02:44):
We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts
waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:02:51):
Go sign up now.