Drone Alone

Harley makes music and Kevin makes a sitcom. Plus: Ring Cams of the Damned!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome back to beardless dickless more. I'm Kevin Smith and
Smith Harley just played her music for me. You recorded
two songs excellent ship. So even walk Walkie's crying about it, she's.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Like them song Semo, who reminded me of the cure pictures.

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Of you, pictures of Lucky.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Hates pictures of you because I always makes her cry.

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Stup it. Walky just will jump back to your music.
But Wacky as somebody who takes walking out in public
a lot in the dog park walk he.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Likes other dogs, other big dogs. She likes to sniffing
and stuff, and she's okay with them sniffing her.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
And they're all boys.

Speaker 3 (01:15):
So what are you saying?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
I'm just saying, like fucking Wacky's got it going.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
Uh what he's stunning?

Speaker 2 (01:21):
Is she really in dog world?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
I mean, look, I love Walki for so many reasons,
but like in dog world, she's stick.

Speaker 2 (01:31):
With two c's.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Well we knew that, and.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
It makes sense right, like fucking you would want you
don't want a little dog, Like if you're a boy dog,
you're looking for a dog that you can hold on.

Speaker 3 (01:44):
That.

Speaker 2 (01:48):
Well, walk is like, bro, how do you think Birdie
got here. That's my point. I think Walkie is like,
you know, I.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Think she likes the the attention, well, the male attention,
because she don't run from the she throws it out.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
They're like, oh yeah, I get a sniff. She's like
to get a get a whiff of what you'll never
get whoa wucky? But she anyway back to.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
Your You're like, boy, got real distracted fast talking about
the dog laid.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
Yeah, man, it was, uh, it was.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
It's always fascinating to me that you can do something
I can't do that. I could never get my head
around for my whole fucking life, Like how does somebody
just make music? Like like I remember asking Atlantis Moore
said what like what comes first? The words were like
the music And she's like, well, I mean, I don't know.
They both happen the same time. It's like no, no, no,

(02:43):
Like something has to happen first. Is it like no, no,
and then you put words to that or is it
vice versa? And she's like she's like it's tough to explain.
It just happens. Like sometimes you're just sitting there playing
and you're like.

Speaker 3 (02:59):
How to make a song.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
She might know a thing, so when like, you do
a thing that I'm like, wow, that's fucked up. But
it's a thing not like accounting, Like if you did accounting.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
I'd also be like, wow, that's fucked up. She knew
how to do numbers.

Speaker 4 (03:15):
I didn't raise it with numbers. How she do that.

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Move?

Speaker 4 (03:19):
But how we get them numbers? Numbers one plus one?

Speaker 2 (03:26):
As fun?

Speaker 4 (03:27):
Yes, smart as cat go to hell car.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
But music is something I've heard my entire life, and
it's always been like, you know, a fucking It's called
the soundtrack of my life obviously, but it's always been
a mystery too because it's something I can't do, so
like listening to some people are do things and some

(03:58):
people don't ship. So it's impressive to me where I'm like, wow,
she knows how to do a fucking thing that like
I don't know how to do, and but have always
admired and stuff, and you got some cool hooky ship.

Speaker 2 (04:11):
In there thanks where it's like it makes you remember
the beat, remember the rhythm, remember the fucking lyrics, even
good ship.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
So I'm gonna ask you, like I asked helenis what
comes first words or the music?

Speaker 3 (04:30):
Do you mean like the instruments or the vocal.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Melody, Now, what's that? What's the vocal?

Speaker 3 (04:38):
Vocal melody is like the way that the words sound,
the melody of the words.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
Anything, what's something has to come first?

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Usually, yeah, Usually Nick and or Luke will come come
to the table with instruments of some kind of some
variety in combination, and then I'll write a vocal melody
and then I'll either write lyrics for it or take
lyrics that I've just written, like more like poetry. How

(05:13):
someone would sit down and write poetry?

Speaker 1 (05:15):
I guess, so you'll sit down and write a bunch
of words. They don't have to rhyme, They don't.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
They don't have to generally, do they?

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Yea?

Speaker 3 (05:22):
They do?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
How complicated do you like getting in the rhyme scheme?

Speaker 3 (05:28):
I spend a lot of time on rappad dot com.
Rap pad dot com?

Speaker 2 (05:35):
Is that like a rhyming dictionary? And fuckers have it
so easy? Man? When we were children, we had to
be like, am I do that?

Speaker 3 (05:45):
But then after that for the ones, for the more complicated.

Speaker 1 (05:50):
Ones, it is, uh, it's it's it's some good ship.
I'm not just saying that because I'm like.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
She's my fucking kid.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
Like, I could see people listening to that. But I
did ask, like Harley, what's the genre? And I was like,
is this bubblegum pop? Because that's what she used to
be back in the day punk.

Speaker 3 (06:10):
That was the term that I made up.

Speaker 2 (06:13):
But this is clearly not There's nothing bubblegum about this music.
This is music where you're.

Speaker 4 (06:17):
Just like life sucks is well. The one song is
the one.

Speaker 2 (06:23):
Song is very like it's picture.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
It's not pictures you, meaning it sounds like it, but
it's like pictures of you.

Speaker 4 (06:30):
If I was.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
If I know fire, if I was.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
An actor, and you know actors, like they're like, you
gotta do a cry scene and ship and I had
to get emotional. You know. Some people are like I
fucking think about like this horrible thing that happened. I
would just fucking play pictures of you.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Fucking song is so sad.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
It's so sad.

Speaker 4 (06:48):
And it just like it doesn't let it.

Speaker 3 (06:50):
Like many of the Cure songs.

Speaker 1 (06:52):
Yeah, he really leans into it and ship, Like I
know some people give me ship for like Clerk's three,
they were like, did you have to go so sad?

Speaker 4 (06:58):
At the end?

Speaker 2 (06:59):
I did a little Robert Smith more than.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
Kevin Smith Robert Smith do.

Speaker 2 (07:07):
There is nothing in the world I haven't wanted more.
I mean it's so like good.

Speaker 4 (07:14):
I like that.

Speaker 2 (07:16):
I'm not gonna keep going.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
It was really good though.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
If look, if you if you you know, I'm not
trying to tell you your business and ship, but if
you will fucking.

Speaker 4 (07:26):
Allow me I and.

Speaker 2 (07:31):
You know to treat this fucking seriously. I think I
have a song for you to record.

Speaker 3 (07:38):
You have a song for me to You've.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
Recorded two songs. You're gonna go back and.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
Do more, right, that's yeah, Yes, we'll.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Still be more, even as an EP it needs a
few more.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Yeah, we're going. We're doing more.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
I have a song that you need to Oh.

Speaker 3 (07:52):
You've already I think you no.

Speaker 2 (07:55):
No, yeah, last show, I had a song pitch for
you too.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
Yeah. I see This.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
One though, comes from a one of our faithful listeners.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
How you doing. I just want to let you know.
I want you to play this for Harley when you're
doing a podcast together, to tell her it's an old
family song from grandma, her great grandma. Okay, I don't
want her, you can have her. She's too fat for me.
She's too fat for me. She's too fat for me.

(08:28):
I don't want her, you can have her. She's too
fat for me. That's the end of the song.

Speaker 3 (08:38):
I like that, loved it. I mean a little judgmental
of she.

Speaker 2 (08:44):
Is gunning for your Spotify fucking end of the year.
Oh god, Yes, that was a song from childhood, a
song that whose song is that?

Speaker 4 (08:57):
This is real song?

Speaker 2 (08:58):
Bobby Vinton's name that probably for me you're unfamiliar with.

Speaker 1 (09:03):
If you ever saw Good Fellows, remember they go through
the club and to get it, they're going to see
Bobby Vinton at the whole.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Club and he made that song.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, it is a polka song. I don't want her,
you can have her, She's too fat for me, little
fucking rude bro.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
It was like the fifties or sixties and ship. But
I remember my grandmother would sing.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
It, really she would.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
She would like, it's pretty couchy.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
You know what I'm saying. Could that song work today?

Speaker 3 (09:32):
I'm gonna go ahead and say no.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Even with a polka beat. I mean, hey, that's.

Speaker 4 (09:38):
The other thing.

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Look, sometimes a good idea is a good idea, and
maybe it comes in different way, shapes or forms. I'm
pitching you know, that was more of a joke, but like,
have you thought about like I know you're like, I
asked Charlie, what is this is a bubble gumpunk?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
She said no, you said it's grunge. You know what there?
You know what might fucking catch on? It's poka.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Nobody is dropping a fire poka track. So you get
Nick and Luke to do a sad version of the
poka and then you get in there and you're.

Speaker 2 (10:13):
Like, I know you can she's too fat? Me bro,
you would you would be?

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Do you want it's important to be huge in your
home country? Or like would you like to burn up
the charts in Poland?

Speaker 2 (10:41):
I will take it, you know what I'm saying, Like.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
You could be the biggest fucking band in Poland rocking
a polka, a sad poka, a grunge poka.

Speaker 2 (10:51):
Never mind is fine. Grunge polka is where it's gonna be.

Speaker 3 (10:56):
Po sounds like a fucking fire car.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
You can ing, she's too fa.

Speaker 2 (11:10):
Me ing, I know these things in the monkey place, simple.

Speaker 3 (11:17):
The monkey instrument. Did you have seen the trailer for
that horror movie.

Speaker 2 (11:23):
Twenty eight years later?

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Is that what the one with the monkeys about? Or
there's like a killer version of that monkey. There's there's
a movie coming out coming out yeah about like a.

Speaker 1 (11:34):
Isn't called Monkey Shines, because there is a movie when
we were a kid called Monkey Shines that used one
of those.

Speaker 2 (11:41):
In the post.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Really, I don't think it is.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
I saw in Justin Long's Instagram thread yesterday he put
up like a you know, fucking hey, I got a job,
like you know, a variety.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
Saying that he's doing him.

Speaker 1 (11:55):
Then he says his recent wife, So I guess him
Kate got married Kate Boswor I've known they I mean,
listen to me, I've known they've been together for a.

Speaker 4 (12:03):
While, but they've been together for a minute.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
Yeah, I think they just finally made it official. And
I read that in his Instagram, So I don't think
I'm revealing tales.

Speaker 4 (12:11):
That was cool.

Speaker 2 (12:13):
Him and her are doing a horror movie, which is
like the third in a row that they get to
do together. Not in a row, but they're they're.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
Doing like He's like, he would talk to me about
like I might just open like me and Kate might
just open a fucking horror label, studio whatever production company.
He's like, because that's like he's like, we wind up
doing so many. So the movie that they're doing together
is called Coyotes.

Speaker 2 (12:41):
Okay, do you guess what it's about?

Speaker 3 (12:46):
Coyotes? Killer coyotes?

Speaker 2 (12:49):
What kind?

Speaker 1 (12:51):
Because you know we live in California, there are different
kinds of coyotes. There's how and then there's the I'll
get you across the Border.

Speaker 2 (12:58):
Oh to which one is it?

Speaker 3 (13:01):
The latter?

Speaker 1 (13:05):
Justin Long versus killer coyotes? Justin Long, Kate Osworth versus
killer coyotes?

Speaker 3 (13:11):
Oh shit? Okay?

Speaker 1 (13:13):
Or maybe one that could be fire coyote, but it
would seem.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
To be more than another animal horror film for mister Long.

Speaker 2 (13:23):
You know what I'm saying. That's true, at least he doesn't.

Speaker 1 (13:28):
It's not him dressed up in a coyote skin. It's
him fighting the coyote rasling a coyote to.

Speaker 2 (13:34):
The ground ship.

Speaker 4 (13:36):
Killer one man, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 (13:39):
You know, fucking look loving all animals until it's you
verse them, right. That's like one of the giants, and
it's the survival of the fittest.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
Isn't there There's like a bigfoot, but it's like a
coyote and it's not as big, but it's it can stand.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
Up Direwolf, Direolf.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
I think it was called like dog man Wolf. It's
like an.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
Urban legend, like the Mothman.

Speaker 3 (14:06):
Yeah, maybe I just watched. I was just watching the
History channel at a hotel and something you saw that.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
I've been spending a lot of time on YouTube watching.
This is my fucking new obsession. Ring door cam videos.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (14:24):
Really yeah, like the fifteen creepiest and it's like a
series fifteen creepy. Oh.

Speaker 3 (14:29):
I thought you meant like sweet heartfelt moments captured on ring.

Speaker 2 (14:32):
None of these are fucking sweeter heartfelt. They're horrifying. God, really,
turn on your alarm system.

Speaker 1 (14:38):
I immediately turned to your mother one night and I
was like, harlet she uses her alarm system, right, She's like, yeah,
I think she does.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Turn I was like, no, let's not think. Let's make sure.

Speaker 4 (14:45):
Wow, what a horrible.

Speaker 2 (14:47):
Fucking world it is.

Speaker 1 (14:48):
It's a series of videos of like, you know, she
and her baby in her arms, and then the voiceover
makes it even fucking worse. And they're all in black
and white because they're all at nighttime, right, so they're
going into it in for red, so creepy people look
even creepier. So there's this lady and she's walking in
with her fucking kid, and you see deep in the

(15:08):
background like a dude walking.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
Like just in the street and shit.

Speaker 1 (15:14):
But then when she hooks up a trail like a
path to her front door, and then you see her
at the door fiddling with her keys, all of a sudden,
you see that dude hook up and he goes down
the same driveway she went down, and then he disappears
for a second, and then as he's coming around as
she's opening the door, he's whipping around the fucking garage
pulling a mask over his fucking face. She don't even

(15:37):
realize it, just closed the door. He gets to it
too late and starts fucking trying at the door today,
and then she's like, get the fuck out of here,
and he goes fucking running and takes his mask off.

Speaker 2 (15:47):
It's that over and over.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
It's like a lady who like shows up with a
delivery of his door dash but it's like one thirty
in the morning, and she's like on the door on
the cam, like looking at her phone and trying to
look at the house to make sure it's the right address,
and then presses it again.

Speaker 2 (16:07):
I Meanwhile, the person runs the house is like fucking
dead asleep and shit.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
So they finally fucking get up and check their phone
and they look at the front door and they see
this person with a door dash delivery, but they don't
know door dash, and so the other camera lights up
the back door and she hits that and sees four
people running from the back door to the wall and

(16:31):
running over it.

Speaker 2 (16:32):
Like they were trying to get in. The distraction was
up here, they were back here. There's another one where
a guy answers the door and a guy's like, I've
got a delivery, and he looks like he's wearing just
because he's got a lit vest, like you assume he's
Amazon or whatever. He's got this package and shit, and
he's holding out for the guy on the camera and stuff,

(16:53):
and the guy's like you could leave it. He's like, yeah,
I signed for it.

Speaker 1 (16:55):
And the guy opens the door and he shows it
to him and he's like okay.

Speaker 2 (16:59):
He's like, I just got to a picture, gives it
to the dude the hold and.

Speaker 1 (17:01):
He goes take a picture and then shoot three dudes
wearing fucking masks in their hoods up come whipping around
the corner pushing into the fucking house, and all you
hear is screaming.

Speaker 3 (17:12):
Oh my god, har fun, this is your latest obsession.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
This is my creepypasta, where I'm just like, oh my god.
And then I told your mom that and she was like,
that's not creepypasta.

Speaker 2 (17:26):
I was like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 (17:27):
And she said, creepypasta is like, you know, made up
our stories and like we just lend your band comes from.

Speaker 2 (17:32):
I was like, listen murder podcast pro.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
Creepy Pasta has also become something of a descriptor for
just you know, like band aid, you know is a
brand name for adhesive strip and it just became the
fucking colloquial name. Creepy pasta is also just used to
be like that's a kid. Oh I feel all creepy
pasta and shit. But she was pushing back as if
she spends a lot of time on the internet. I'm like, bro,

(17:56):
you're talking to mister Internet. Oh, like are you hearing?
But then I remembered that, like I was like, I
don't even know if that's true.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
I could be the only one who uses creepy pasta
in that way.

Speaker 3 (18:09):
I personally just was going to go with it.

Speaker 1 (18:13):
So it could be that I'm it could be like
I'm a creepy pasta story. There's one story man where
motherfucker shows up at where is he?

Speaker 2 (18:23):
England? I think it is, or Japan or maybe yeah, Japan.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
So he shows up, you know, goes through passport control
and he's got passport for a country don't exist, and
they're like what is this and he's like, it's you know,
Edebah and they're like, yeah, well what is Edba?

Speaker 2 (18:44):
And he goes, what are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 (18:45):
He's like, like Edeba, man, I come from Edeba. The
capital is blocked and he starts spitting out these names,
and these guys are like, show us on a map,
and they pull up a map and he's looking for
it and he's like, where is it? And his country
is not there and he's got a passport with stamps
from that country.

Speaker 3 (19:06):
So his country's who is?

Speaker 6 (19:11):
Who is?

Speaker 2 (19:12):
Look at you?

Speaker 1 (19:13):
You've lost the power of fucking speech because like a
little alley like woo, you just take off, I just
fly to the other side of the room.

Speaker 2 (19:25):
That's right. Who what the fuck? How? Why the fuck what?
And they have to pull them because They're like, bro,
that country doesn't.

Speaker 3 (19:33):
Exist, like he genuinely he's just.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Traveled in from there. He's like, I don't know who
you're fucking talking about. So they start running all the
possible theories, one of which.

Speaker 2 (19:44):
Is, wait, this is real, yeah, One.

Speaker 1 (19:47):
Of which is this literally happened nineteen fifty five. One
of which is the possibility that he came from an
alternate dimension where that country exists and somehow in travel
wound up in a completely different fucking dimension.

Speaker 3 (20:07):
Has anyone made a movie about this?

Speaker 2 (20:09):
No, because it solved itself.

Speaker 3 (20:12):
It solved itself.

Speaker 2 (20:15):
Now, remember all the details I laid out there.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
There's one this was at an airport.

Speaker 1 (20:24):
But one of the details that I laid out for
you will help get you to a place of understanding.

Speaker 3 (20:31):
Let's see, Yeah, do it up?

Speaker 1 (20:35):
Sherlock worked a fucking worked those cocks sport.

Speaker 3 (20:40):
Stamps.

Speaker 2 (20:42):
No, but but you know all valid?

Speaker 3 (20:45):
Thanks? Is he mentally unwell?

Speaker 2 (20:54):
Great question?

Speaker 4 (20:55):
No is.

Speaker 1 (20:59):
I'm telling you this happened. Now, I'm telling you this happened.
What is your first question to me when I say
this happened?

Speaker 3 (21:08):
When there you go, oh, nineteen fifty one five?

Speaker 2 (21:14):
Regardless, this could never happen today unless this person was
truly an interdimensional traveler, because you can easily fucking yeah.
But back then it was.

Speaker 1 (21:29):
Just so fucked up that they were like, maybe it's
fucking true. There's a hoax, he created a passport, he
created fucking yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:39):
Well I was wondering that. But then you made it
seem like, I don't know, maybe that's.

Speaker 1 (21:43):
What the internet does, and it's exciting because you're like,
oh my god, oh my god, it pulls.

Speaker 2 (21:52):
You right the fuck end.

Speaker 4 (21:53):
Man.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
So I've been watching a lot of a lot of that.

Speaker 1 (21:56):
Like you know, unsolved mysteries and shit like that. But
the ring videos have been then there are other videos
that are really disheartening of just like missing person videos,
like this is the last known photo watching Jordan said
the same thing.

Speaker 2 (22:12):
I don't know. I've tripped across one of them one
night and I was like.

Speaker 3 (22:16):
Holy shit, it's just so it's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (22:20):
And like scary, Yeah, it's scary.

Speaker 4 (22:23):
It's nuts.

Speaker 1 (22:24):
Now I understand like, of course this is the fifteen creepiest,
So naturally there's gonna be a lot of ringcam videos,
but the way they're one after another, it makes you
feel this is happening all the time everywhere, But it
really isn't happening all the time everywhere, but when it
does happen, no kidding, the home invasion ones are fucking terrifying,

(22:47):
And like there was the ones that happened in the
dead of night. There was one where this couple comes
up to the door and the guys talking to them
through the door, and then he opened the door and
she's like, hey, our car broke down. Can we use
your phone? You're the only one with the light on.

(23:07):
And the guy's like, uh no, I'm sorry, and he
closes the door, just as the other guy behind her
pulls out a gun and rushes for the fucking door.
And then that guy pounds on the door and he's
like the dude on the other sides get the fuck
out of here, and then they go run into the street. Now,
you could go see Nosferatu well for fake fear, or

(23:31):
you could literally fucking like and well, with all due respect,
the Nosfaratu is a motion picture and I'm sure as
well made and in front.

Speaker 2 (23:37):
Of ours is in it and shit like that. Robert
Eggers is very respected director.

Speaker 1 (23:40):
But think about all the artifice and money that was
spent and be like boo. Or you can go to
fucking YouTube and just watch, just enter horrifying ring cam
videos and you.

Speaker 2 (23:53):
Will fall down a rabbit hole of some of the
scariest real life scares man like terror.

Speaker 3 (24:01):
I'm personally looking for more of a like monster scare.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
You get some of that too. I do a lot
of alien video watching. Do you fuck? Yes, bro? They
got the footage now to tic TACs that do weird things,
especially with all this drone shit going on in New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (24:15):
For what do you think about the drones?

Speaker 1 (24:18):
I think the government is lying, honestly, And I'm not
like a crazy like Queanon conspiracy theorist or something, but
I think when they're like a lot of these are planes,
like bullshit. I've seen this footage, yes, and it's like, then,
I don't know what footage you all are looking at
and saying a lot of these are planes.

Speaker 2 (24:35):
The footage that I'm seeing is not reading like planes.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Like I've lived in an I wouldn't say I've lived
in an airpath. But in New Jersey we get fucking
Nork traffic. You know, all the time I driving on
the Garden State Parkway or the turn bike I've seen
flights coming.

Speaker 2 (24:54):
I know what a fucking plane.

Speaker 3 (24:56):
Looks like just in Jersey too. Were you looking?

Speaker 2 (24:59):
No, don't even crossed my mind.

Speaker 1 (25:01):
Really, this is like two weeks ago when the story
started breaking the ship and I was there to do
some events and what I might have made a joke
on stage, I can't remember, but recently I was thinking,
like me and Jay, I gotta go back and do
a Jaane sound about thing to capitalize on this drone shit, like,
guess who's doing it? Just cut to a shot of us. See,
I guess we could do that from here.

Speaker 4 (25:20):
But regardless, I think it's.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
Do you think it's Aliens.

Speaker 2 (25:29):
I said to your mom, I think it's.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
Obvious to be Aliens.

Speaker 2 (25:33):
Ali. I think it's a company.

Speaker 1 (25:36):
I'm not going to say, like Amazon, but I think
it's somebody trying something out and it's proprietary. I think
they're like, we can't fucking admit it. We can't say
because then somebody will steal our ideas whatever. And I
think the top government officials no, and that's why they're like,
it is literally nothing to be concerned about. But it's
like that, don't wash man, like if it ain't anything

(26:01):
to be concerned about.

Speaker 2 (26:02):
Just say literally what it is, and.

Speaker 1 (26:03):
Don't fucking lie and say a lot of these are
airplanes because they're not the way they're moving not airplanes
at all.

Speaker 2 (26:09):
And what like all the footage that's being loaded up
to speaking a ring.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
There's a website called like neighbors or something like that,
so if you're a ring member, that's where you put
that footage and be like, hey, man, have you seen
somebody like this that you're doing a lot of people
are putting up their fucking drone footage going like this,
ain't I ain't.

Speaker 2 (26:27):
Crazy, Like these drones are big as a bus.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Yeah, it's nuts.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
So I don't think it's aliens.

Speaker 1 (26:34):
But I do think there's a lot more of the
story than apparently the government is willing let on. And
I feel so weird saying that because it makes me
sound like a nutcase, like, but no, I honestly.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Don't they're not planes.

Speaker 1 (26:47):
I felt very gas lit when I watched Orca's on TV,
be like most of these are planes coming in and
it's like bro, no, no, And look the one cop
is like I saw fifty coming off the ocean, so great.
All we have to do in one big bunch and
the fucking mayor of this town, of that town. I
was watching their press conference. He was like, look, man,

(27:09):
this is legit fucking officer of the law who saw
fifty fucking craft come off the ocean. So all I
one has to do is check like air traffic Control
and be like, did you have fifty planes grouped real
tightly together coming off the ocean at the same time?

Speaker 2 (27:23):
Because if the answer is no, then it's like, well,
then what the fuck did the police officer see?

Speaker 1 (27:28):
Because I tend to believe the police officer man, like
nobody goes out into the world to be like I
saw something unexplainable without fucking worrying about their job losing
their fucking place in society where people like you fucking
nutbar and shit like that.

Speaker 2 (27:43):
I believe anybody that's going I saw a fucking thing.

Speaker 1 (27:46):
I really believe it when they're like yeah, because I
can look at that shit myself and be like, that
is not a fucking airplane, Like that's.

Speaker 2 (27:55):
Not where the lights are on an airplane. They would
never be that fucking close.

Speaker 1 (27:58):
It's great, they don't move like that, So that sends
me down the fucking.

Speaker 4 (28:02):
Rabbit hole of like they don't blink like that.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
UAPs they call him now used to be UFOs when
we were kids, but now it's like Unidentified Aeronautical phenomenon
or something like that, because UFO has a connotation.

Speaker 2 (28:16):
Of like aliens.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
Yeah, but meanwhile, so does this shit because they're like
sometimes you know, they just had congressional hearings like last year,
two years ago where they're like talking to some dude
who you know, some people like that dude's crazy and
the government tried to pain him like crazy, but he
had high clearance to work for the government and shit
like that, and he's like, I've seen recovery crafts. They

(28:39):
reverse engineer this shit like and they have been doing
it since.

Speaker 6 (28:44):
Roswell, Like that's where we get technology from. And we
have seen the pilots of these crafts and they are
biologic and they are not from this planet.

Speaker 4 (28:58):
Nice.

Speaker 2 (28:58):
You know what I'm saying. All of that is like
so fucking cool.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
I'm saying to your mom, Like last night, I was like,
you know, they're finally one day gonna say like and
here it is, here's the photo where here's one We're
gonna truck it out and fucking live cameras or whatnot,
and nobody's gonna like it ain't gonna be like, it'll
be news for twelve hours and then Trump's gonna say
something and everyone will fucking forget, like something else will
take over the news cycle because there is news out there,

(29:24):
legitimate news of shit in the sky that did not
come from this planet, and people are just like, that's
fucked up.

Speaker 7 (29:32):
It's like, what, this is what we've waited for our
whole lives, and you're just gonna be like casual about it,
like this should be the fucking front page news every
fucking day until fucking somebody.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
You know, goes, all right, we were lying there ain't
no aliens whatever the fuck, but like even the prospect
and somebody's drones even provide that, you know, now, I like.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
How passionate you are about this. I didn't actually know
it's I'm really enjoying like this.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
I was really like, because Jennifer is like to hoax.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
I was like, I don't know, well, she was like yeah,
she's like, you know.

Speaker 3 (30:10):
I'm exposed a little bit.

Speaker 1 (30:12):
Well, but at first, but then I convinced her. Then
I was pulling her into it, going like and she
said the same thing.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
She's like, you're very passionate about this.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
I was like, because don't you feel lied to? Like, yeah,
that's what I feel. There's a I mean, I'm gonna
say this is the first time the government lied. But
the fact that a guy would bald face, you know,
go on TV and be like, yeah, no, those are airplanes,
be like, what are you one of the men in black?

Speaker 2 (30:34):
Like did you just use this fucking thing in my face?
Like you're nuts? That ain't an airplane. I know what
an airplane looks like. And what are they all lying?
And there's a certain part of me too that she's
are you kicking me under?

Speaker 4 (30:45):
You were don't you stop talking about this? The government's coming.

Speaker 8 (30:48):
I was like, no, I won't be silence.

Speaker 2 (30:51):
And here's another fucking thing.

Speaker 8 (30:53):
They all lost proof.

Speaker 1 (30:56):
Yeah, man, I just think that feels like, don't dream
me like a goddamn child like fucking period.

Speaker 2 (31:02):
And honestly, it's a frow shade on the Great State
of New Jersey where they're like, all these people are
seeing airplanes, they're all different sides of it. It reminds me
of Jaw's been like this is a boating it. This
was not a boating accident. Something's fucking going on and
they don't want to tell us. And it's like, I'm
not saying it's bad, and I'm not saying, like, you know,

(31:24):
it's Jewish space lasers or fucking like whatever you know,
or Pizzagate.

Speaker 1 (31:29):
I'm not saying these are conspiracy theories. I think something
is going on and we are building our own conspiracies
because they just won't say. And if it's something as
simple as like Amazon is testing fucking Jones, great, fucking
say it.

Speaker 2 (31:44):
Why would you hide that? Like fucking who else would
it be?

Speaker 3 (31:48):
Yeah, but you got a point.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
But nobody's saying shit, and you got fucking like congressmen
in New Jersey both sides going like, why won't.

Speaker 4 (31:59):
They tell them?

Speaker 2 (32:00):
Now? They ordered a drone detection system and shit, they're
sending up their own drones. I spend a lot of
time I'm thinking about this.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Yeah, I watched a lot of videos about this, big
time in the news, happening in my home stations. When
it really caught my attention is when they were like,
these things are flying over Earl. Earl is where they
keep the nukes on the East coast. There's four blocks
from quick stop, like because the running joke, oh yeah,
me and all the guys that used to be stationed

(32:30):
at Earl Naval Base used to come and open up
fucking accounts because they'd be stationed for like six months
to a year and stuff like that. So we saw
a lot of service folks and whatnot. But the joke
me and Brian Johnson always had was like, thank god
Earl is there, because one day the bomb will drop
and Earl is a first strike, so Russia launches its nukes,

(32:53):
and East Coast, being closer to Russia than say, the
West Coast, one of the first targets was Earl because
that's where all our nukes, not all of them, but
a good portion of East Coast nukes launch from there.
So strategically speaking, that's one of the first places you
want to hit so that we can't strike back with
a thousand nukes ors warheads or something like that. So

(33:14):
we would always be like, good and we don't have
to work at quick stuff anymore because.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
We'll go first.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
We're like four blocks away.

Speaker 1 (33:21):
We'd be instantly incinerated, be like thank you, oh my god.
So when they were like these things are flying over Earl.
I'm like, that's how is that? Why is that possible?
If I were to fly a helicopter over Earle, they
would shoot me down.

Speaker 3 (33:38):
Yeah, Like so why yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:41):
Why aren't they shooting these fucking things down?

Speaker 1 (33:43):
And meanwhile they got a bunch of people going like, yeah,
why aren't we shooting them down? And then a bunch
of government people going don't shoot these things down.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
People could get hurt if you do that.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
I understand that, but it's like you're telling me if
I see that fucking thing over the ocean, I'm not
allowed to shoot it down, But you won't tell me
what in it, like a number.

Speaker 3 (34:01):
One half, it's going to get hurt.

Speaker 4 (34:05):
Well, what I.

Speaker 1 (34:06):
Took from it them to mean was like you shoot
a fucking drone down over a town, it's going to
fall down.

Speaker 4 (34:12):
These drones are big as a bust.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Is anyone in the thing.

Speaker 1 (34:18):
Are these unmannedcraft or are as they've said in the past, biologics,
which it doesn't mean little green men Like I read
a report where one motherfucker was like they are like avatars,
Like these things like we've had them, they live only
for about like two three days after a crash or

(34:42):
whatever they there's no way for them to eat, there's
no like fucking shithole.

Speaker 2 (34:48):
So they think they're.

Speaker 1 (34:50):
Just like, you know, like a rumba, a very advanced
fucking roomba that's been programmed to do it task that's
humanoid in nature, but not truly a living thing.

Speaker 9 (35:06):
Mm.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
Which is fucking that is?

Speaker 1 (35:10):
You want to hear another fascinating fucker who's sending these
things where they're coming from? I would love what planet
ready for me to blow your mind? What if they're
coming from a planet Earth? What if they are our
future selves trying to come back to fucking interfere or
warn or stop us. Like if you go over Earl

(35:34):
Naval Weapons Station where the nukes are, there's one of
two things. You're interested in taking them or stopping us
from using them, and you would be interested. Seems like
they could do whatever they want the way these things
fucking move, so taking them doesn't seem to be the thing,
but it could be them motherfuckers. You're trying to be like,

(35:56):
this is how it all ends, So we're traveling back
in time to tell you fucking stop or you know,
then the outcome they don't get out and tell us
a shit because we've evolved to like the species we
can't possibly comprehend.

Speaker 2 (36:10):
But it's us way in the future.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
Well not us, we're long dead, but our species way
in the future trying to come back to stop us
from destroying the planet, hence destroying their fucking presence.

Speaker 3 (36:21):
My god, mind blown.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
It's good ship, right, that's why.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
But again, bro Free and I ain't coming down on Eggers,
like I ain't seen I got the skin in the game.

Speaker 2 (36:33):
But they just spent a lot, universal spent a lot of.

Speaker 3 (36:36):
Money coming for him.

Speaker 1 (36:39):
But like the whole I saw the billboard, it's all
about like OOKI spooky for Christmas, and it's like, good
on them, you know, that's great, but they spend a
lot of money to do that. These YouTube kids, you know,
they're like, I'm just putting ten fucking ring Cameron together,
or reading a story, reading a transcript from a government
fucking that's.

Speaker 2 (36:59):
So aggressional hearing.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
Or I've got your mom into the infhographic show, which
is little cartoons where they tell stories. She's like, I
love his voice is very soothing, and like, you know,
sometimes it's useful ship, but sometimes it's also conspiracy, you know,
like fucking What would Hitler think if he saw a
fucking f fifteen today?

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Oh my god, I got it.

Speaker 1 (37:21):
They gotta fill in your internet a good thing. Or
sometimes it's like, how did they catch John Wayne Gacy?
Or you know the ten worse forms of torture in
the Middle Age?

Speaker 10 (37:33):
You're so weird.

Speaker 2 (37:34):
The infographic show is amazing.

Speaker 3 (37:36):
Oh my god. I didn't know about this side of you.

Speaker 1 (37:39):
I spent most of my time on YouTube, like watching
short subjects.

Speaker 3 (37:44):
I really I like this, I really like this fun
fact about it.

Speaker 2 (37:48):
If you ever like hmm, I like what the chef prepares.
I wonder what the chef eats. That's what I.

Speaker 1 (37:59):
And let me tell you when it comes to those
door cam videos, I ate. So I ate all of
them period, as your kids say, every every morsel, very demure,
very whatever.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
The other one is that a new one?

Speaker 3 (38:21):
Eight?

Speaker 2 (38:23):
That is the new one. It's just what is four
plus four?

Speaker 4 (38:26):
Eight?

Speaker 3 (38:28):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (38:28):
Oh eight? That's funny. Yes, baby doll is here to
tell you.

Speaker 3 (38:37):
Oh my god, no, no, never never say that.

Speaker 4 (38:46):
All right, the uh oops.

Speaker 1 (38:51):
Rush water from a can? Go figure, where are we
at thirty eight minutes? Let me tell you where I been? Okay,
I'm a nayware man. Last time I saw you, didn't
we do a show last week?

Speaker 3 (39:07):
Yeah, but it seems like so long ago.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
Well after we did a show, I went to see
Momily and I saw mamily for her seventy ninth birthday.
Uncle Don was like, we're taking her to the Stetson Mansion.
And essentially, and Stetson Mansion it was like an hour
and a half away from where they live, and it's
a big old mansion they built in Florida at like

(39:31):
the turn of the century, at the first house in
Florida that Thomas Edison they knew personally, so it had electricity,
stets and of the people who make cowboy hats and
boots and shit like that. So now these two other
guys bought it years later, fell into disrepair. It was
like fucking on the market for nine years, and these
guys bought it, turned it back into its former glory.
And for Christmas, they're both Christmas dudes, and so they

(39:51):
decorate the house and then they charge you to come
in and look at it.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
So essentially it's a very you.

Speaker 3 (39:56):
Know, they charge you, yeah.

Speaker 1 (39:59):
Very fancy and expensive version of let's go look at
the neighbor's Christmas. Yeah, which is something like we used
to do when we were kids with my dad and
my mom, Like, you know, cheap entertainment when we were kids, right,
Like we didn't have cable TV and we didn't have
the internet.

Speaker 3 (40:13):
I love looking at people's houses.

Speaker 1 (40:16):
My parents would just drive around and look at other
people's houses when we were kids.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
But that's not entertaining for a child.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
You're sitting in the back of the seat and you're like,
what's our destination? And your parents are like, we have
to enjoy the journey.

Speaker 3 (40:28):
You know that you did that with me? What do
you mean You know that we spent a lot of
time life driving around.

Speaker 2 (40:36):
Yeah, but we would go to places. No where did
we go Mulholland.

Speaker 1 (40:42):
But like as an adult, not as a child then
a heavy in the back of the fucking seat.

Speaker 3 (40:47):
No, but growing up, like when I was in school
and stuff.

Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah, but you would go along for the ride out
of a sense of enjoyment. Yeah, yeah, you're complicit.

Speaker 3 (40:57):
Yeah, no, it was for enjoyment. But I'm saying, how's
that different than your parents driving you around.

Speaker 1 (41:04):
My parents drove number one, all three of us around me,
my brother and my sister, and we were young, and
they weren't like in this enjoyable kids because I didn't
enjoy it. They would just drive around and like's you know,
like think about it when I go on mulhalland I'm
never looking at the view like I looked at the
view twenty years ago, So now I don't even know

(41:26):
what I look at. It's just so easy to go
up there and disassociate, which I'm not supposed to.

Speaker 8 (41:31):
When I got out the fucking booby hats, they were like,
don't do that.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
I was like, I won't know, but I like.

Speaker 1 (41:36):
To fucking just I loved Mulholland because I could drive
it with my eyes closed and shit like that.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
But I don't look around.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
My parents.

Speaker 2 (41:43):
Oh look, they were like rubber.

Speaker 1 (41:45):
Neck and all the time. Oh look at that. Oh
don look at that house. Oh that's nice, look at
their porch. We should do that.

Speaker 3 (41:50):
It's like same houses. Or would you go to new neighborhoods?

Speaker 1 (41:54):
What a good question, new neighborhoods, because I don't remember,
you know, that would have.

Speaker 2 (41:59):
Been weird, Like sooner or later somebody comes out and like,
get away from our house. My Mom's like, we like
your house. You can't taste this away.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
They're like, oh, it's this is so nice. Every week.

Speaker 1 (42:11):
There was a chick that used to pass our house
throughout your entire childhood who would scream at the house
whenever she drove by, and.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
She would go, I love your big giant house. It
was awesome.

Speaker 1 (42:22):
We heard it all the time for years, and we
were you know, on first, we were like, who's she
yelling at? And then one day we saw her yelling
at us, and I was like, Oh, it's us. We
are the big giant house that she loves. But my uh,
we would just yeah. I remember being like this is boring?
Can we go to the Can we go to a place?
Can we go buy a Star Wars toy?

Speaker 2 (42:42):
Destination? When you're a kid, you don't want to just
like fucking wander and shit like that.

Speaker 4 (42:46):
And I mean, little kid.

Speaker 2 (42:47):
You gotta remember I was like fucking three four years ago.

Speaker 3 (42:49):
Oh really, well you left out that part.

Speaker 2 (42:52):
Did you think I meant like when I was in
my twenties.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Yeah, would be in the back of my parents car
my twenties and she already made clerks.

Speaker 4 (43:01):
I was driving by that point.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
No, it was a child and and childhood, I had
no free fucking reign.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
I loved my mother.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
And as I was saying, we went to hang out
with Mom, and we went to the Stetson mansion look
to fucking Christmas lights and then hung out Me and
Mom and Virginia and Donald and they're just such delightful
people aside from being blood relatives, like I just love
them all, and we also have the common frame of reference,
like yeah, I could drop a reference and they all
fucking know what it is, and shit.

Speaker 3 (43:29):
Like that is family audience for you.

Speaker 1 (43:32):
Beyond a good audience. It's like kinship. And you know,
of course their kinship because they're kin but.

Speaker 2 (43:37):
Like, like it's nice they're your family.

Speaker 1 (43:44):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but that doesn't mean shit, right, Like
you cannot like your fucking family.

Speaker 2 (43:50):
And I've meant a lot of people that fucking don't.
But it's like why you liked those people.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
But but also why these people I like the well,
I mean Uncle Don, Like aside from I can point
to like, well, without Momily, I'm not even here and
Mommy gave me a.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Lot of good shit and that I still used to
this day.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Uncle Don same thing, like fucking gave me a lot
of good shit that I still used this day. And
Uncle Don taught me like what was funny and fucking
like I talk like Uncle Don just you know, because
I shared a room with him, so like he's very
influential and and Virginia is the one that was like,
you should write, you should do this and sent me
to fucking.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
The Forum when I was like making clerks and whatnot.

Speaker 1 (44:32):
Like she's always been like, you know, expand.

Speaker 2 (44:37):
Grow, learn shit like that, encourage you.

Speaker 1 (44:40):
So aside from that, it's also just having like he
may remember like when we fucking went driving that one
night and then like we started like picking through the
people's garbage and shit, and fucking people drove past and
they were like garbage pickers, Like oh god, like I
don't even have to say that that literally, yeah it happened.

Speaker 4 (45:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (45:01):
And one of those times we were just driving around,
Grandma and Grandpa were just driving and we were in
the backseat. We were driving through Rumson and it must
have been like maybe post Christmas or something like that,
but not cold. There was no snow, but Rumpson is
like where the rich people live. And so I don't
know why, man, but so people were getting rid of

(45:23):
like a lot of shit. That's why I think it
was post Christmas, because you get new things, you get
rid of old shit, so you know, on the maybe,
I mean it's crazy like that there was this much,
but we went to like six different houses, but people
had their garbage on the fucking curve and it wasn't
like garbage like banana peels and shit. It was like
people were throwing out toys, so like I got a

(45:46):
joker doll from it, like like we got shit.

Speaker 2 (45:49):
We were going through to fucking garbage.

Speaker 1 (45:51):
And I only know that because somebody yelled garbage pickers,
and I was like, somebody drove past and they were
like garbage pickers, and I was too young to understand
what that meant. Virginia and Donald were like, oh my god,
and Mom and Dad thought it was funny though, like
get in the car, like fun's over. But I always
remember that as like one of the greatest nights of
my youth because I was like, I got a lot
of new toys and there was just this like wild

(46:14):
abandoned leg It made it made sense to me, like
why wouldn't.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Like they're throwing it out. Then it's something Now what
it's called upsycle.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Yeah, we upcycled.

Speaker 3 (46:23):
I think it is legal to go through someone's trusure.
Probably idays, I think it is illegal, buddy. But at
the same time, they were given in a way.

Speaker 1 (46:36):
So but I mean, I don't even I don't even
have to tell that whole story for Virginia and Donald,
I just have to be like garbage pickers and like, yeah,
having a common frame of reference, knowing people who knew
me before I became like a creature of entertainment. Like
I'm always fascinated by the version of me that's somewhere

(46:58):
very deeper, long since gone, the one that started the journey.
And they all knew him, like very well. And I
always like hearing about like the differences and whatnot. It
always like makes me giggle when they're like, you were
so quiet, and I was like, I guess I was
just waiting to turn it on, and the moment I started,

(47:19):
I would never shut up.

Speaker 3 (47:20):
The button broke that day, the button broke.

Speaker 1 (47:23):
But it was just lovely to be around them, and
just lovely to see Mommily who looked fantastic for age
seventy nine and shit, and yes, slow down, but Mommily,
you got to remember had a fucking terrible year last
year where we almost lost her a few times. So
all things considered, she looked fucking great.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
Man. She had some Bailey's Irish cream, so she got
a little oh did she?

Speaker 3 (47:41):
She had that last birthday too.

Speaker 1 (47:43):
I remember she had some and she was getting tipsy
and fucking laughing and she had like these good times.
And then Virginia was hanging out with Delaney, her daughter
came in and they took Grandma out, and Virginia sent
me a text and she was like, I gave mom what.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
She thinks is booze, but it's not. And she's like.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
Acting, Oh my god, that's fucking awesome. That's so good.

Speaker 2 (48:09):
But so what a lovely human being.

Speaker 1 (48:12):
I mean, I got lucky with my mom and my
whole damn family and stuff. It's nice that they're like
still around. And Uncle Jerry was there. He was working
most of the time and stuff, and we got to
hang out with him as well.

Speaker 2 (48:25):
Yeah, good times. Next time you totally come.

Speaker 1 (48:28):
Down and they knew that you were recording ship, I
was like, bruh, she's grunge.

Speaker 2 (48:34):
She can't she can't do family.

Speaker 4 (48:36):
It's please, I'll tell you right now.

Speaker 2 (48:39):
The fucking the number one fan of the show.

Speaker 1 (48:42):
Like, I don't know who's listening, But any money that
we made off for commercial revenue I think solely comes
from Aunt Virginia.

Speaker 2 (48:50):
She is fascinated by the show. She's like, I learned
so much about you. She's like, I don't know half
the things about you.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
Yeah, And she's like, and then you talk about a
lot of ship that like I go, oh my god,
remember that. And she loves our dynamic and stuff like that.
But she, yeah, she listens to it.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
On the regular.

Speaker 3 (49:06):
That's nice.

Speaker 2 (49:07):
Yes, very very It's so weird, Exuce.

Speaker 1 (49:10):
I've been podcasting since two thousand and seven, and this
is the one.

Speaker 2 (49:16):
That Virginia is like, oh, I like that punk, very
very sweet.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
So I did that. Then I came home for like
a minute. Then I went up to Portland and did
four sold out fucking shows pre Christmas. You get a gift.

Speaker 4 (49:40):
It was good.

Speaker 1 (49:40):
There were four really cool shows and people were fucking sweet.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Up there and stuff like that.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
Awesome.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
I got some gigs after Christmas. I don't have anything else.
We did fat Man Beyond Last Night here in Town,
which was also lovely, But now I don't have any
gigs until after Christmas. I got some gigs in Phoenix
and then New Year's Are you doing a show?

Speaker 2 (50:03):
Yeah, I was going to do one where.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
I looked about doing one here with Ralph, but Ral's
he's booked for something, He's doing something else. So I
was like, well, I have my own fucking theater for
this purpose. I can go back and sell that show.
But I feel like I was just there and I
was just there for free.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
Like we did a show we did, We showed die
Hard for free, and so I hosted that. You know, there's.

Speaker 1 (50:29):
Something to be said for oversaturation, particularly you know, we
don't serve booze, you know. So we did an evening
with Kevin Smith, like one of the first year we
owned the theater, and it sold out and stuff. But
and I just I felt like, you know what I'm not.
I don't know if I can guarantee a sellout. I
get this late in the game, this late stage game,

(50:50):
because it was already the first week in December. And
so then I asked, like Seth Siegel, my touring guy,
was like, hey, mean, can you see if there's any
place that's got an open for New Year's Eve?

Speaker 2 (51:01):
Like I feel like I rather than sit.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Around, like I'd just rather go work, make some fucking
loot and shit. And so he he was like, how
do you feel about Spokane?

Speaker 3 (51:12):
Oh my god, you're going to spoken?

Speaker 1 (51:15):
So I was like, yeah, I did some great shows
in Spokane years ago and Jenny went with me and stuff.
So I was like, you know, let me ask and
the price was right and stuff. So I was like,
let me ask her. And I was like, how did
you feel about Spokane for New Year's Eve? And she's
like why And I was like, because I'm going to work.
And I was like, you know, rather do that than

(51:35):
just kind of sit around here, because that's.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
All we'll do. We'll watch we'll both fall asleep before
fucking you like.

Speaker 3 (51:43):
Holiday very much.

Speaker 1 (51:45):
And also it'll start like you know, then we'll start
the new year with like a nice chunk of change
and you know, fucking bills always have to be paid
and ship. There's never, you know, not going to be
a time where I'm not fucking working. So that's fine
because the work I do is enjoyable, but it's like
I can't pass up an opportunity, like, you know, just
I don't like New Year's even anyway.

Speaker 2 (52:07):
And it's not like I'd go to some party or
something like that.

Speaker 1 (52:10):
And even if somebody cool invited me to a party,
I fucking hate it. Like I've done that before, making money,
being the center of attention, making money, I can't think
of making people happy on New Year's Eve. I see
that was the third thing in the list, revealing that's
how I live my life. Little here's a little bit

(52:30):
for you, and then one for you, two for me,
one for you, one two, three for me, three for you,
one for me. So yeah, I'm gonna do that for
New Year's even then also New Year's Day in this
day and do two more fucking gigs. And then that
week I'm doing a little appearance in a movie I hear.

Speaker 2 (52:54):
Has a cast full of characters. Sounds like you may
be in that movie as well, but not in the
same scene. No, maybe we'll pass each other.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
You will pass each other in the halls.

Speaker 2 (53:10):
And uh. And that's the beginning. That's that's that's my
schedule for the next What are you going to do
for Christmas?

Speaker 3 (53:17):
I'll be with you. I'll be here.

Speaker 4 (53:21):
Are you not going to Virginia?

Speaker 3 (53:23):
I'm going after Christmas?

Speaker 2 (53:25):
What's the logic there.

Speaker 3 (53:27):
My mother would have a meltdown if I was here.

Speaker 2 (53:30):
Do you think she would?

Speaker 3 (53:32):
She says she wouldn't, but I'd rather, I'd rather, yeah,
just not find out.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
She was trying to sell me on the idea like
she should go to Virginia. I was like, why do
you give a ship? And she was like no, I'm
just saying like, why is she gonna fly by herself
afterwards when she could fly with Austin and like, we're
going to do Christmas A.

Speaker 3 (53:50):
Time when there was a time when I told Mom
that Austin wasn't going to be here for Christmas, and
she nearly cried.

Speaker 2 (53:58):
Oh is that right?

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Yes, well she's getting them for Christmas. It's just you know,
Christmas is December twenty third, before you leave. Yeah, but yeah,
she was like, you know, hardly should go, shouldn't she
she's trying to recruit me.

Speaker 3 (54:13):
She was trying to convince herself.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
No, you convince me. She was convinced, and she was.

Speaker 3 (54:18):
Trying to sounds like she doesn't want me here.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Well, I was like, why do you, Why don't you
give a shit? She's like, it's just better, it's better.
It probably be I heard it I said, she's a
grown ass woman. She'll do whatever fuck she wants. She
does it all the time. Like, why would this be different? Clearly,
if she's okay with going at that time, she's okay
with going at that time.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Well, am I wrong? You're like, no, I want to
go early.

Speaker 3 (54:45):
I'm a little scared to fly by yourself. I'm flying
on an airline I've never flown on before, and I'm terrified.

Speaker 2 (54:52):
Which one?

Speaker 3 (54:53):
Breeze it's the only one with a direct flight.

Speaker 4 (54:58):
Why where is that?

Speaker 2 (54:59):
You can't where? Where's the nearest place to fly into
d C? How far is that?

Speaker 3 (55:04):
Two hours?

Speaker 2 (55:06):
What a hall?

Speaker 3 (55:07):
It's such a hall? Yeah, but that's what I always so.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Where does Breeze leave from from?

Speaker 1 (55:12):
L A X.

Speaker 2 (55:13):
Really? Welcome to Breeze Airline.

Speaker 1 (55:17):
Uh, we're gonna try to stay up today.

Speaker 2 (55:20):
We're gonna keep it. Most planes fly about thirty thousand feet.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
We're we're gonna keep it at a low six thousand
just in case we have to do a quick landing.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Gas up.

Speaker 3 (55:31):
You know it moves the pilot. Welcome, Welcome to the
Breeze Airline.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Don't you worried I'll go this?

Speaker 11 (55:40):
I myse Nicoleman Captain Scott see, but that's when he's
a cat.

Speaker 2 (55:48):
You can get away with that. That's my day.

Speaker 4 (55:50):
I don't want no one to know who is.

Speaker 10 (55:52):
They won't take me seriously if they find out I
was just a cat. So that's a human being and
it breezes airlines. They're willing to hire me, and I
calls myself Captain's cap.

Speaker 4 (56:05):
Wellby.

Speaker 10 (56:06):
I think that's why they hired me. If have funny name.
But I just won't fly, Mommy. I think everyone deserves
a chance to fly, and I for flying. So you Google,

(56:28):
tell Carl, you bring Carl a message for me.

Speaker 3 (56:37):
Cars like popul.

Speaker 2 (56:40):
Very much.

Speaker 1 (56:41):
Your cat does Carl gossipy, but she'll never listen to
the show. So we watched Wicked, and we've seen Wicked before.
I think we've seen it as a family a couple
of times more than once stage. Yes, live on Broadway
or the pantagious version here. But what you know, I

(57:02):
didn't think your mom was gonna go for it. It's
not She went for the show, but not what I
would call a musical.

Speaker 3 (57:12):
Fan, not a theater kid.

Speaker 2 (57:13):
No man hed the imagination.

Speaker 1 (57:16):
But I think because her friend Shay was like, oh
my God, I can love Wicked so much.

Speaker 2 (57:22):
Jennifer is like, I think I'm me a wedge waked.
So we got it on the Oscar app and stuff,
and we watched Wicked, and she like balled like a baby.
Fucking you would have thought that she had ate a
whole or even a piece of like mushroom chocolate bar
because she was so on such an emotional journey. Really
was on the emotional journey, and it was lovely because

(57:45):
she's not generally that person.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
I am.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
I cried everything man like they started it and I
was crying.

Speaker 3 (57:51):
You talk about iron Man and emotional flowing, and I
believe me.

Speaker 1 (57:56):
If you start me on Wicked, I can get very emotional.
It's so beautiful, so well done, and such a and
I mean just as a piece of art itself, the show,
never mind the movie.

Speaker 2 (58:08):
The movie's magical as well. They did such a fucking
great job.

Speaker 1 (58:11):
But in any event, you know, she's normally not for
that kind of thing, but she ate it up and
was fucking loving it.

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Shit. So at one point we paused to go get
some food stuff.

Speaker 3 (58:25):
And are you about to say something expository?

Speaker 2 (58:30):
She goes, when is it? When was the scene.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
He thinks it was when Alphaba like runs off into
the woods with little cage lines and your mom goes,
oh my god, I am Alpha Ba. Now normally I'm
just like uh huh, but that one that was a

(58:59):
bridge too far where I was like, no, you're not
and she goes, yeah, I am. I was like, oh no,
there is nothing alphabe about you.

Speaker 2 (59:07):
She goes, but you mean. I was like, if you
are either of these.

Speaker 3 (59:11):
Two, there's a clear Oh.

Speaker 2 (59:14):
I said, bro, you're not Alphaba, you are You're there
And she's like no, And I was like, can you
not know clearly you're being ironic with it.

Speaker 1 (59:27):
Just goes like, no, she wasn't joshing she thought she was,
which I'm like, you know, look, of course maybe she
inside she feels like alpha Ba, but like externally, I'm like, Bro,
of either of those two, you're a carbon copy of
fucking Glinda for sure, which ain't like, you know, Glinda's great,

(59:49):
we all love Glinda, but you know, it's just funny.
That shows that's that's some good storytelling where some so
completely far flown from a main character can identify with
the main character.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
That's an sign of an excellent performance too.

Speaker 1 (01:00:10):
I yes, I was like, you know, I didn't and
I was just like, I didn't make cars.

Speaker 2 (01:00:19):
Like if anyone in this house is Alphaba, it's me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:26):
Don't don't you dare You're not Alphaba. No, no, I alphabe.

Speaker 2 (01:00:33):
I can't both be Alphaba.

Speaker 4 (01:00:34):
No, no, no, somebody got to be Glinda.

Speaker 3 (01:00:37):
The more super visual of the two, which one.

Speaker 2 (01:00:39):
Of which one of us was was a cheerleader.

Speaker 3 (01:00:43):
Has a t R literally my mom.

Speaker 1 (01:00:51):
Yes, it was very It was a moment where I'm like, yeah,
what honey, But I want if they're like, maybe that's
how she feels when I'm like I think I'm a
good filmmaker and she's.

Speaker 2 (01:01:05):
Like, that is not that's not it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:11):
It's not true. That is not true.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Or if I'm like, you know, I think I think
I'm like Thepheimer, I think I'm very Nolan esque, and
then she'd be like, oh, oh.

Speaker 4 (01:01:24):
Honey, you're not You're not Nolan esk then who am.

Speaker 3 (01:01:30):
I do you identify it?

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
But that's like, you know, I'm not saying that Chris
Nolan reminds me of Alphabet, but in terms of directors,
he seems to be the gold standard. I just read
an article that said a lot of people, which again
it is like so weird, Like you read one article
and you're like, that must.

Speaker 2 (01:01:50):
Be what the world thinks.

Speaker 1 (01:01:51):
But some organization or some fucking website put up an
article about how Oppenheimer is the best movie of the
twenty twenties so far. So he was just in my
head as like the gold standard of directors. So I
needed a name to like, you know, throw out to
mom for her to react in the elfable way.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
So I went for Chris Nolan.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
But I probably didn't even have to reach that high,
which is what you're looking at me thinking right now.
You're like, and you chose Chris Nolan. Yeah, maybe Chris
Nolan is the opposite of you in the way that
you know, God is the opposite of fucking the devil.

Speaker 4 (01:02:28):
Like you could have went a way lower.

Speaker 1 (01:02:30):
How about you start at John Apptew and work up, No,
that is not true.

Speaker 3 (01:02:36):
I thought it's not true. I was just I was like,
do you identify as Nolan ask in any way?

Speaker 4 (01:02:44):
Not at all?

Speaker 3 (01:02:45):
In in my mind he is very very dark, And
I feel like in my mind.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
He's just very like, you know, hey, man, cinema is.

Speaker 9 (01:02:55):
His esthetic is just is just very different and not comfortable,
and even the approach to the job is far more serious,
like he treats it way seriously.

Speaker 1 (01:03:06):
So when did I see a quote recently where a
filmmaker was like, man, I put my heart and soul
into this.

Speaker 2 (01:03:16):
Oh, James Gunn.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
It was like, I put everything into the Superman movie,
my heart, my soul, my life.

Speaker 3 (01:03:23):
I'm excited.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
That made me like, I.

Speaker 1 (01:03:25):
Mean, look, I was always in, but I was like, oh,
you feel like you've made some sacrifices to make this
Superman movie.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
Well you have my attention. Fire away, mister Gut, Shoot,
mister gutt. Before we go, I'm gonna toot my own
horn a little bit, my humble bragg. So they announced,
Oh yes.

Speaker 1 (01:03:48):
In Variety, Universal TV rides industry comedy comeback with Hacks
a Man on the Inside. Those are two TV shows, Hacks,
of course, being the gene Smart show Man on the Inside,
Ted danceon Netflix show and Kevin Smith's new comic book
Mystery Show. An exclusive by Michael Schneider, I will cut

(01:04:10):
to the relevant text, and Variety can exclusively report the
Universal is developing Local Heroes about.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
A group of comic book store regulars band together to
solve crimes in their hometown.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
The show is inspired by director Kevin Smith's actual comic
book store, and he's an EP and writer along with
Thirty Rock alums Josh Siegel and Dylan Morgan.

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
The project being developed.

Speaker 1 (01:04:34):
Four NBC, also comes from Hazy Mills, Sean Hayes, and
Todd Milner, as well as Jordan's Surf.

Speaker 3 (01:04:43):
Oh my gosh what he's.

Speaker 2 (01:04:45):
A producer on the show.

Speaker 3 (01:04:46):
He is, Oh my god good?

Speaker 1 (01:04:49):
He became a manager, right, used to be an agent.
Once you slide out agent, you can slide into that role.
We prod ourselves on facilitating collaborations, says Jim Donnelly. Universal
TV sewn Hay's company has been here for a long time.
Josh and Dylan are overall deal writers who have worked
in Mike Schure's and Tina Fey's camps. And Kevin Smith

(01:05:12):
is a hero of mine and has his finger on
the pulse.

Speaker 2 (01:05:15):
Of the genre world. I don't know who he's talking about.

Speaker 1 (01:05:18):
This murder mystery show in a comic bookstore really fits
into NBC's single camera workplace, large ensemble shows. Very exciting.
Now does that mean we have a TV show? Not yet,
but it means like we're working on one and it
could be a TV.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
Show, so exciting, very exciting.

Speaker 1 (01:05:35):
It makes me happy. Not only am I making it,
but I'm in it as well, like I'm the main character.
That makes me very happy, and I hope it really
does go forward. Because I was raised on television. I
wasn't raised on indie film. I was raised on like
TV movies were something we went to once in a
while because they were special and shit like that. We
didn't have VCRs in the beginning. So sitcoms, fucking TV jingles,

(01:05:58):
fucking TV show shows, cartoons like I was raised by
the box that was a TV baby generation stuff. So
the idea of having a TV show something I never
And yes, I've had comic book Men, which ran for
seven seasons on AMC.

Speaker 2 (01:06:13):
It's a lot. NBC, though, has been around before me.

Speaker 4 (01:06:17):
I predated AMC.

Speaker 1 (01:06:19):
Yes, I think I was in this world before AMC
was as a trade.

Speaker 2 (01:06:24):
But NBC predates me and has a long fucking history.

Speaker 1 (01:06:27):
And you know, it's just it'd be weird and wild
and not anything I was ever working toward and not
anything I ever saw coming.

Speaker 2 (01:06:35):
But more than happy.

Speaker 3 (01:06:37):
To go on this so well, it's.

Speaker 1 (01:06:40):
So cool now and it's a delightful like show so far,
Like we're right right now, we're writing the script. We
handed in our story document that got to prove that
we handed in the outline that could approve. So now
we're writing the script and then after Christmas return it in.
But the outline is like it's it's adorable and fuzzy

(01:07:01):
and it makes you go like I've watched these guys.
That's what both the studio and the network were like,
you just love these characters and I could just I
want to hang out with them every week, go to town.
So we're now we're in the scripting stage.

Speaker 2 (01:07:13):
You could you imagine with me with the TV show?

Speaker 3 (01:07:17):
That would be fun.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
I mean.

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Think about it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
What that'd be a really nice like third act, like
you know, like yeah, real sweet, and it wou was
shoot here in town, Like I could drive over to Universals,
if I could go back, if I can, if I
can tell Popoly.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
Because believe me, Mama's hurt and she's like, you get
that money, you get that network. Now she's very excited
for me. But Popoly, it would blow his fucking mind.
I almost wish I could bring him back from the
dead just to blow his mind put him right back
in the box.

Speaker 4 (01:07:54):
Oh my god, I'm back.

Speaker 2 (01:07:55):
I'm like, Dad, I have my own sickcom And you're like,
what the back.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
Into the bu.

Speaker 1 (01:08:03):
That would really fuck with his head. But I could
draw you a direct line from my dad to that
if it ever happens, and stuff. Here was my TV buddy.
I watched a lot of TV.

Speaker 3 (01:08:12):
With so sweet.

Speaker 1 (01:08:14):
Yeah, that would be fucking sweet. He ain't around to
see it, but now somebody would be like, sure he is, Kevin,
he's watching. I don't know about that, but I do
know his energies around and that's enough. I don't have
to go all, you know, fucking like supernatural. I could
just stop it. Like his energy didn't go anywhere here
in the universe. And whenever you bring up the dead

(01:08:35):
talk about him, you manifest him for a fucking a
few moments. That's the best you can hope for when
somebody's gone. So that's why, like when I do shows,
when somebody I bring up George Cornland or Alan Rickman
or my dad, they're in the audience for a second,
you know, because everyone collectively is focused on that energy.
Energy calls to energy, and you got to imagine that

(01:08:56):
that energy is there at that moment.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
That goes for bunnies too.

Speaker 4 (01:09:04):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
They're on a very self celibratory, self congratulatory, humble bragging
and then finally heart rendering, heartwarming moment of the show.
That's how we fucking get out of beardless. Stick with me,
not even the final show of the year, acting like

(01:09:26):
it is right.

Speaker 2 (01:09:27):
But it's still have two more shows before we get
to the new year.

Speaker 3 (01:09:31):
Can't get rid of it.

Speaker 4 (01:09:32):
You having a good time.

Speaker 3 (01:09:33):
I'm having a great time.

Speaker 2 (01:09:34):
Yeah, I really enjoyed somebody out in the world.

Speaker 1 (01:09:37):
While I was doing comedy gigs and stuff, A bunch
of people are like, I love beardless.

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
Stick with me. You got to make sure its bro,
you got to make sure you can sell. Everyone keeps
going on. Some Father Dave shirts coming.

Speaker 4 (01:09:47):
I'm like, holy shit, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:09:52):
It's waiting for you, Father Dave. You want to talk
about bringing energy.

Speaker 3 (01:09:56):
Back, Come on back, fatherly.

Speaker 1 (01:09:58):
Man, long Dead Priest, and I think he'd ever have
a fucking fourth acts you're coming back, punk.

Speaker 4 (01:10:03):
Rock t shirt and ship.

Speaker 1 (01:10:05):
Uh, there it is, because there's your beardless dickless me
for this week.

Speaker 2 (01:10:08):
For Beardless sickless me. I'm Kevin Smith. Go have yourself
one of them beardless dickless days.

Speaker 4 (01:10:14):
Hey, wait, before we.

Speaker 1 (01:10:15):
Go, I know then you were doing a good You
looked right into the lens. But that reminds me.

Speaker 2 (01:10:19):
Look into lens. Want to see the show?

Speaker 1 (01:10:21):
Go to that Kevinsmith club dot com and you can
watch the fucking show. But if it's enough to just
listen to it, Hey.

Speaker 3 (01:10:27):
Man, no pressure, thanks for listening.

Speaker 1 (01:10:29):
Yeah, but honestly, not for nothing. And this ain't just
like pride for a fucking daughter. Kid dresses up every
week every fucking week.

Speaker 2 (01:10:38):
Kid showed up this week and I was like, where
are you going after this? And she's like, you know making.
I was like, they're having a Christmas party, you know.
I was like, why the fuck are you just up tonight?

Speaker 4 (01:10:50):
Well, well, well so.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
She's fucking getting dressed for you, and she putting on
her outfits.

Speaker 2 (01:10:55):
Her oop fits and ship. Yeah, you gotta fucking come.

Speaker 3 (01:10:58):
It makes me late every week. Come on.

Speaker 2 (01:11:01):
She's honestly putting more thought into the appearance of the
show than the content.

Speaker 1 (01:11:07):
That's true.

Speaker 4 (01:11:07):
She's like, look, you talk about whatever you want.

Speaker 1 (01:11:09):
I'm just gonna sit here and look. So if by
not watching the show, you're letting her down. B you're
missing a funck ton of duck face because aholl shows.

Speaker 3 (01:11:20):
Yeah, I'm just trying to make the time it took
to get ready worthsly.

Speaker 2 (01:11:26):
She's just like I took two members on each. Motherfucker
they are going to see him. You should really zoom
in like this from time to time, like push it,
put your eye into the camera. Yeah s, why don't
you do the FU tutorial?

Speaker 3 (01:11:41):
I could? You know what I'm saying, I could maybe
maybe if you joined that Kevin Smith club.

Speaker 9 (01:11:47):
That's true, maybe put up the eyelighter tutorial Kevin Smith.

Speaker 4 (01:11:55):
People like, hey man, this iseline tutorial.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
You know.

Speaker 1 (01:11:59):
I'm a member of her Instagram club. I see a
lot more there, but this is okay. I was always
wondering if she did the eye I support.

Speaker 3 (01:12:09):
Thanks.

Speaker 11 (01:12:11):
Mommy cat is like moo is like like this took
me three hour.

Speaker 4 (01:12:25):
I'm like, I can't get the pood to stay pooh wait, Pommy.

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
I made a stick out of my pool.

Speaker 10 (01:12:40):
I grabbed it right out of the litter bugment before
it went all robotic and took it away up to
outer space.

Speaker 9 (01:12:46):
My eyes just Redy, I got pick eye.

Speaker 2 (01:12:52):
Carling, tell me I brother ship, my call your real
fucking number.

Speaker 3 (01:12:56):
You know that I need her, stupid, I just wanted
to see you.

Speaker 4 (01:13:01):
Ben.

Speaker 2 (01:13:02):
The other how many cats? Two or three?

Speaker 3 (01:13:05):
Two?

Speaker 4 (01:13:05):
More?

Speaker 2 (01:13:06):
The other two are just.

Speaker 1 (01:13:07):
There, always silent witnesses in your little sketches. They never
come into play. What are you waiting to season two
or something like that?

Speaker 2 (01:13:16):
That sounds a little too much like carl Maybe that's why.

Speaker 3 (01:13:20):
But yeah, she has her she has.

Speaker 1 (01:13:23):
One's a heck, one is a one is you know,
like fucking you know mister Burns as a girl cat.

Speaker 3 (01:13:33):
Yeah, she really is. I'm a little I'm Wieners from
New Jersey. I'm a little Jersey girl.

Speaker 2 (01:13:41):
What can she be? That's that's when she was.

Speaker 1 (01:13:44):
She's the wiener But what is her dick? Yeah she's
from New Jersey.

Speaker 3 (01:13:48):
That helps, But little Jersey girl, that'ss She don't sound
like no Jersey girl you want.

Speaker 1 (01:13:54):
She doesn't be like my biological clock is going like this,
So he.

Speaker 2 (01:14:04):
Sounds like no she needs a hook.

Speaker 3 (01:14:09):
Well, she lives here now, so she doesn't sound like
she's from New Jersey. But she was born.

Speaker 2 (01:14:13):
There's what's her thing?

Speaker 1 (01:14:15):
Oh, she's you, she's me, she's like, she's fuck.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
I can't make the compars anymore.

Speaker 1 (01:14:23):
And Fat Albert the cartoon that was based on the
creator's childhood friends, and so the creator was also one
of the characters in Fat Albert.

Speaker 2 (01:14:34):
Bill. Oh, I wish we could leave her right there.
But for the record, Bill.

Speaker 1 (01:14:39):
Cosby, I see, I was like, Fat Albert was a
very important cartoon in my child. It's a shame it went,
you know, the way of Bill Cosby. But still, yeah, man, no,
we need an identity for the other two, Like what's
their hook?

Speaker 2 (01:14:57):
Baby?

Speaker 4 (01:14:58):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:14:58):
Anyway, I brought up that other thing because Bill represented
the creator of the show, So maybe that cat represents you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:04):
Yeah, wiers I, please don't compare me to Bill Cosby.

Speaker 4 (01:15:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:15:11):
Wait a second, wait one second.

Speaker 1 (01:15:15):
So what is Wiener's hook? Then I know the show
should have ended to me Junkyard.

Speaker 3 (01:15:20):
I'm from the Junkyard and my name is Wieners.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
So and she was was she abandoned or no? She
was born there, but she wasn't abandoned there.

Speaker 3 (01:15:29):
No, her mom was feral, and she was feral.

Speaker 2 (01:15:35):
So you rescued the cat, but not the cat.

Speaker 3 (01:15:41):
I tried to rescue.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
Them, but you couldn't get her. So she's out there somewhere.

Speaker 1 (01:15:47):
There's no way, no way on earth that that fucking
funeral mom cat could ever conceive that one of her
cats was going to move all the way out to California.

Speaker 2 (01:15:56):
Mofucker. Don't even know who California is.

Speaker 3 (01:15:58):
I know no wis has been on a plane, has
been on a plane.

Speaker 1 (01:16:05):
Could you imagine like what goes through a fucking kitten's
head where it's like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 (01:16:11):
Did anybody hearing this?

Speaker 1 (01:16:12):
I saw a dog looking out the window on a
car and a play in the other well. It took
Jet sweet X. Somebody brought their and the dog was
looking out the window like seeing this.

Speaker 4 (01:16:21):
Are you look like?

Speaker 3 (01:16:23):
Are we really doing this? The is that really going to?
The flying through this guy?

Speaker 2 (01:16:27):
That thing I'm looking down is something I usually look
up at way up.

Speaker 4 (01:16:32):
This is all wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:16:34):
Line, All right, you work on the other two, because
you got two out of four, you need two more personality.

Speaker 2 (01:16:45):
And they got a baby Linus. Wait, that's the Jersey Cady.

Speaker 3 (01:16:50):
That's Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
They both sounded like the same thing.

Speaker 3 (01:16:52):
No, Linus is much more like I'm Linus.

Speaker 2 (01:16:56):
And then what's the other one just a baby.

Speaker 3 (01:16:59):
Then Wieners is like, Hi, I'm from you Jersey, a
little girl.

Speaker 1 (01:17:04):
She needs a thing like, you know, fucking I always
rock a yo yo or something like that. Maybe she
walks with a cane, not like she needs it just
to be classy, exactly, all right, she's a showcat.

Speaker 2 (01:17:20):
She needs to like stand out a little more. The
other two are very.

Speaker 1 (01:17:26):
Well, these are the personalities that you gave mind you
so really you like.

Speaker 3 (01:17:30):
They made me very aware?

Speaker 1 (01:17:32):
No, no, all these, all these personality traits are projections,
not move You don't fucking talk, bro, so he can't
be yes, he don't know you made him that.

Speaker 3 (01:17:44):
Heck no, no, he whispers to me and he's like.

Speaker 2 (01:17:47):
You manifested this world.

Speaker 1 (01:17:49):
This is like the end of the movie in the
third act where you find out that you created all
of this. You find out like you created me too,
that I'm a figment of that. You're on so much
acid that you fucking imagine father who had a low
level career in entertainment, just enough to afford a private
school education and some decent food and ship like that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:11):
So it's good acid, but not great. It only takes
your fantasy.

Speaker 4 (01:18:15):
So far where it's like.

Speaker 1 (01:18:17):
Yeah, I mean, I guess that's better than my present situation,
but it ain't as good as like it could be.

Speaker 3 (01:18:23):
It's pretty good.

Speaker 2 (01:18:24):
You got a power up with better acid and ship
You're like, oh my god, my dad is Nolan asked
because he's Nolan himself.

Speaker 3 (01:18:31):
I'll take better acid next time. Why did I just
sound like Uncle Malcolm?

Speaker 2 (01:18:35):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:18:36):
And also you didn't even bump into the taking acid part.
Really you're supposed to be like, when do I ever
take acid?

Speaker 3 (01:18:41):
I've never take I don't think I would take acid?

Speaker 2 (01:18:44):
Right? Fu you up? You would watch a mushroom? Right?

Speaker 4 (01:18:48):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:18:48):
You fuck with the mushroom.

Speaker 3 (01:18:50):
I feel a little, but I heard.

Speaker 2 (01:18:55):
I thought I heard someone else.

Speaker 1 (01:18:57):
I did little mushroom. Your mom's friend Trish, who's my
friend as well. Trish gave your mom chocolate mushroom chocolate,
and so I was like, all right, let's give it
a shot.

Speaker 2 (01:19:09):
And I ate a good. There's like five rows and
I ate three.

Speaker 1 (01:19:13):
So it says like, take one piece and see how
you feel in a half an hour, and I was like, well,
let's see.

Speaker 2 (01:19:18):
So I fucking went deeper than that, and it was time.
I was giggly.

Speaker 3 (01:19:22):
I was very good.

Speaker 1 (01:19:23):
I was watching we were watching the show and there
was a dude doing the news report. So we were
watching people talk about drone footage. This one fucking dude
in California had the most painted on eyebrows. He looked
like he was trying to do Eugene Levy for Christmas.

Speaker 4 (01:19:37):
Or not Christmas Halloween.

Speaker 2 (01:19:38):
Like it looked like it was cosplaying. So I was
really dialed in. I was like, are you seeing this?

Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
And she's like what. I was like, are you seeing
his eyebrows? Like his eyebrows are really painted on?

Speaker 2 (01:19:49):
And she's like no, no.

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
I was like, get closer to the TV, like you're
not telling me those are his real eyebrries.

Speaker 2 (01:19:54):
She's like, well, he's got makeup. I was like, there's makeup,
and then there's this. This seems like a real chore.
I don't even know if he has eyebrows under that.

Speaker 1 (01:20:02):
These just look like two giant Eugene Levey swaths across it.

Speaker 2 (01:20:06):
I was like, who let him on TV? Like, she's like,
you're I think you're high. I was like, I don't
think I'm high. You're not seeing this. I was like,
if you're not seeing this, I think you're high.

Speaker 3 (01:20:15):
My god.

Speaker 1 (01:20:16):
It was very noticeable. And then there's another news report
where a guy who kept talking and he had like
a like an onyx ring, like it was black, so
it really was prominent.

Speaker 2 (01:20:27):
And I was like, are you seeing this? And she's
like what now?

Speaker 1 (01:20:30):
And I was like that ring doesn't look fucking weird
to you, and she's like, what do you mean weird?
I was like, it's so crazy.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
Prominent it I guess.

Speaker 1 (01:20:40):
She was like, well, it's the only prominent because it's
like a darker color, it's the angle.

Speaker 2 (01:20:44):
I was like, no, it's not that. Something's going on here.
So she was like, that's the US.

Speaker 3 (01:20:51):
What a weirdo. It makes you like detail orients, what's
going on? When normally you're like what color are your eyes?

Speaker 4 (01:20:58):
Exactly?

Speaker 3 (01:21:00):
You're like, cat, goodbye.

Speaker 2 (01:21:05):
There's your beardless stickless me for this week. For beardless
stickless me and Kevin Smith. You were waiting on that
you could just dove in there.

Speaker 4 (01:21:13):
They must know by now.

Speaker 1 (01:21:15):
But fair enough, fair enough tradition for beerdless dicklas MOA, I'm.

Speaker 3 (01:21:19):
Kevin Smith, I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 2 (01:21:21):
Go have yourself one of them. Beardless dickless days.

Speaker 8 (01:21:35):
This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using
our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what.

Speaker 2 (01:21:48):
We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts
waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com.

Speaker 8 (01:21:55):
Go sign up now