Egg-istential Questions

Kevin and Harley learn to pronounce words and answer questions from listeners.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:24):
Welcome to the stickles me.

Speaker 2 (00:29):
I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 1 (00:31):
And the past is the president and the president, the
past in the past, yes, the pastes future in the
future of the past, and the past and the futures
the future of the past, and then you wind up
in eighteen twenty six. I feel like I missed it.
Oh my god, No, I must travel back to the future.

(00:51):
Trademarks another guy. We are in another realm of not
knowing what the future is? Where am I in the
world right now? If it's Thursday of the following, we.

Speaker 2 (01:11):
Willaby in Seattle.

Speaker 1 (01:14):
Let me see. So if this Thursday is the seventeenth,
the twenty fourth, I will be doing Dogmen Minneapolis. So tonight,
if you're listening to this, on Thursday the twenty fourth,
I am doing two sold out shows in Minneapolis on
the Dogma the Resurrection tour. The very next day, the

(01:36):
twenty fifth, is my anniversary with your mother. So Harley
is going to be twenty six, and that means we
have been married for twenty six years.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Yes, so happy anniversary.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Thank you. That's right, it's the anniversary show. Yeah, that's
the thing is we got to look ahead and see
what's happening, like we don't want to miss a major
holiday or some ship.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
That's so true. Oh, mother, I.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
Was fake Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
Happy belated Easter?

Speaker 1 (02:14):
When's that happen? Let's look.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
I think you said this is the wait.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Past, the future in the future is the present. I
just keep throwing the present.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Like that sometimes.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
All right, hold on, when is Easter? So let me
look at all the Sundays. It's April twenty. Oh, yeah,
that's happened. We had the Dogma premiere that's coming up
this Sunday. So yeah, so no Easter. Oh we should
have said that last week.

Speaker 2 (02:52):
Yeah, well, happy belated Easter.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
Yeah, blady Easter. Easter is the bunny holiday and as we.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Know, moneies are important.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
This is the first Easter without cinnamon, the first Easter
with When is Mother's Day?

Speaker 2 (03:14):
You're not going to be Oh you will be here
to be a happy Easter.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah, but I won't be here on Mother's Day because
I'll be doing Mother's Day with Mamaly because that we
will have been in Orlando the night before on the tenth.
And then I think Mother's Day is the eleventh. Yes,
there is.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
We're figuring out how the calendar works right.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Now, So we gotta think ahead and make sure we
got a reference mad but this week, yeah, I guess
we need to reference my.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Anniversary happy as well.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
Without that anniversary, you don't exist, or really without your existence.
Let's get it.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
Let's get it right.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yes, you did predicate the mayor welcome it is, uh Mercifully,
we're on the road, so I'm not expected to deliver
some ridoculous piece of jewelry or something like that. The
anniversary present this year is we're going to Minneapolis, Chicago, Houston, Dallas.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
I was in your room and she was like, I
can't wait to goot to Chicago.

Speaker 1 (04:24):
She does. She likes going to Chicago, she likes she
likes traveling in general too, and we'll get to drive
a lot of this tour. So she's already packed a
bunch of trivia cards. I know, she told me so,
I mean, questioned by you.

Speaker 2 (04:40):
That's so cute.

Speaker 1 (04:43):
So yeah, that's all where that's what's happening right now. Ideally,
that's what's.

Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh my god, don't started.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Oh, for all we know, her and I are each
other's throats.

Speaker 2 (04:53):
Oh yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Fuck you in your movie fine, go home, fo No,
fuck you, what do you think you're doing?

Speaker 2 (05:05):
Let's see the twenty fifth?

Speaker 1 (05:08):
Is that what? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:10):
I will.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
Got she just dropped something.

Speaker 2 (05:15):
She's like, you're making He's looking so loud. Is going on?

Speaker 1 (05:20):
Birdie heard me say WUCKI and instantly jumped up. What
he's giving something?

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Oh my god, body, it's okay?

Speaker 1 (05:26):
Is that a wookie a word?

Speaker 2 (05:28):
Austin's family will be in town.

Speaker 4 (05:31):
That's right, his mom.

Speaker 2 (05:32):
And his sister, Jada and her husband David.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
Jada and David are the photo geniuses that did our
artwork for Beardless Sticks Me. But the artwork they've got,
which have you picked? Get fucking cracking. Brian paid for
those pictures. Let's go.

Speaker 2 (05:53):
You're so right for.

Speaker 1 (05:57):
A new artwork for Beardless Stick with Me Season two
is pretty damn fire. They did a job, so they
were here a couple of weeks ago. They are coming
back out along with Austin's mom and they're gonna house
sit and watch the dogs for us while we're on
the road. Because I'm on the road for four weeks.

(06:18):
I pick your mom's on the road for two of those.

Speaker 2 (06:21):
And Austin is taking the opportunity to.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
Shoot a motion picture. Yes, Austin shooting a twenty page
short film right here in the house. He really is
about people that break in to the house. And I
was like, so, what a documentary, because that's what you're doing.
It's like, how many people in this cast? He's like eight.
I was like, do I know all of them? He's like, well,

(06:46):
you know, Harley. I was like, do you know all
of them? And he was like, yeah, You're.

Speaker 2 (06:52):
The one that's always like write something making.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
I remember correctly. I was like, write something and make.

Speaker 2 (06:59):
It our house.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
I don't care. I'm not going to be here. And
I hear the dogs get to be in it. Well,
I'm going to need to open a Cougan account for them,
and then I will promptly take their money and spend
it on things for myself, leaving the Birdie pennyless as
she gets.

Speaker 2 (07:20):
Older more Bowlwinkle merchandise.

Speaker 1 (07:23):
Yes, I'm like, I'm sorry, I took all your Hollywood
money and spend it on Buwwinkle merchandise. Oh my god, yeah,
I think did it happen? Did the Bullwinkle? I think
the Bullwinkle auction is about to happen.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
No, what happened?

Speaker 1 (07:41):
No, because it's on May third and fourth.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Oh, I thought, Oh okay.

Speaker 1 (07:46):
So it's about to happen. Oh my god, I wonder
if I'm gonna win the big statue. This version of
me has no idea if I'm a winner or not.
Oh my god, thinking the other day. By any measure, sure,
I think I would have to be considered a success.
But oftentimes I feel like a failure. Why is that? Now?

(08:09):
I don't feel like I have a imposter syndrome, but
I do feel like like I don't know why.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Wow, I'm from blow Winkle to extisential.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Existential existential existential existence. So exist exists essential e x
I s T exists e N T I A l existential.

Speaker 2 (08:48):
Well you learned something new. Every day?

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Every day is school day.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
Every day. This is a cool day, buddy.

Speaker 1 (08:53):
Speaking of which, I see a lot of trivia cards
laid out, but I own hear any questions me and
throw in my way.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
Well, actually, really, we have something to do that is timely.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (09:06):
So the trivia cards are going to have to wait?

Speaker 5 (09:09):
Talk?

Speaker 1 (09:09):
What's the timely part?

Speaker 2 (09:11):
I have gone ahead and I have asked my Instagram
to submit questions.

Speaker 1 (09:17):
Oh, look at you taking charge of the content. Well, well,
well I'm impressed.

Speaker 2 (09:21):
And they will disappear in twenty four hours, so we're
going to answer them. Now, Well, we have a lot,
We have a lot to choose from.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
Actually, fucking hey, this is a good idea. I never
thought to do that. Yeah, I usually come here to
talk to you, I know.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Oh my god, there's actually so many let's see.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
Now, na na ya nah.

Speaker 2 (09:46):
Does Kevin Smith still believe in God?

Speaker 1 (09:50):
Does Kevin Smith still believe in God? No?

Speaker 2 (10:01):
X existential?

Speaker 1 (10:04):
Existential?

Speaker 2 (10:05):
It sounds it keeps sounding like you're you're saying a G.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Where existential? Yeah, where's the the G existential? Exit? Exis existential?
Now you're fucking me up. Existential crisis. I'm in the
middle of an existential crisis. Yeah, it does sound like
there's eggs and being of sounds like eggs if with
an s after it. Exit? God, damn Nike there going over?

(10:32):
Yeah you exit.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
I've just been saying this word wrong. Forever have you
been saying it existential?

Speaker 1 (10:40):
That's exactly right, But that's not that's the first time
you've said it that way.

Speaker 3 (10:45):
Oh really, Yeah, you were like, you know what, it's
late at night, I'm tired, all right, ask.

Speaker 1 (10:57):
Uh, do I believe in God anymore? No? And I'm
not like saying and here's a fucking my feelings about that.
I don't. I wish I did. Life seems to be
much easier to navigate when you have the Lord to
lean on, So I envy those that have the Lord,
but not me. I don't have the Lord.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
You had, Bootie.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
I get every once in a while there's somebody online
that's like, hey, man, all you need to do is repent,
Jesus will take you back. But I like to really
freak people out by telling him at the age of nine,
I sold my soul to Jesus Christ because I was
scared that I, like the devil, would come for it.
So before I could fucking sell my soul to the
devil or the devil couldag it, I sold my soul

(11:45):
to Jesus.

Speaker 2 (11:46):
Smart.

Speaker 1 (11:48):
Now, if I was the opposing side in this argument,
I'd be like, you can't sell your soul of Jesus.
I never heard that done. Just because you never heard
of it doesn't mean it can be done, because I
literally did. And they'd be like, how he knows Jesus
and not the devil. I was like, because I had
the devil went down to Georgia.

Speaker 2 (12:05):
So true, he was so true. He is way too
busy in the fiddle competition.

Speaker 1 (12:13):
You sit right back. Some bitt's ever been.

Speaker 2 (12:18):
He's really occupied.

Speaker 1 (12:20):
Yeah, he was preoccupied. Ship.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Oh, I should say, who asked them?

Speaker 1 (12:25):
Yeah? Give him a shout out.

Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, let me give him a shout out.

Speaker 1 (12:28):
Who asked if I believe in God?

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Let me fund.

Speaker 1 (12:34):
Pa? There were two sets a foot prince in the sand,
and whose prince were they? But God?

Speaker 2 (12:47):
That was That was a lot coming at me. That
was a lot coming at me, my little slice of hell?
Asked if you believe in God?

Speaker 1 (12:57):
Interesting? Yeah, come to come to my little slice of
hell with me.

Speaker 2 (13:02):
Dwayne one one one.

Speaker 1 (13:04):
Asks Dwayne one eleven. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (13:08):
Have you ever done shrooms together?

Speaker 1 (13:11):
No? Yes, No, I don't know that I've ever done
shrooms period.

Speaker 2 (13:16):
You said you tried and it.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Doesn't work, gummies, I don't know if that counts. I
don't think I've ever had a shroom. Shroom try that's
how Birdie runs around the house. Yeah, no, I haven't.
You've done shrooms? I have? What is the experience of

(13:37):
doing shrooms? I would how would you compare it to weed.

Speaker 2 (13:43):
More uplifting than weed?

Speaker 1 (13:45):
Yes, uplifting meaning like.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Everything's beat Yeah.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Me, Betty, Is that right? Is it? But could you
get a bad mushroom trip? Like everything is?

Speaker 6 (14:03):
Dude?

Speaker 1 (14:04):
You full meaning it's full of duode?

Speaker 2 (14:08):
One time I was really full of duty.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
Actually you get a bad trip?

Speaker 2 (14:11):
It made me no, it made me sick, And yes.

Speaker 1 (14:17):
I mean, is that that's part of it? Got ingested?

Speaker 2 (14:20):
It's possible sometimes mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, I don't know if I want to risk that.

Speaker 2 (14:25):
And then one time when I was really in a
bad place and took shrooms, that was also not great.

Speaker 1 (14:31):
You took the shrooms and you were like you scary?

Speaker 2 (14:34):
I really was. I was sitting in the bathroom, of
the floor of the bathroom, crying in the dark.

Speaker 1 (14:39):
It doesn't sound like a fun experience at all, But other.

Speaker 2 (14:43):
Times it's great. Eddie made made awesome.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Eddie made awesome.

Speaker 2 (14:53):
As would would all ever do Rocky and Bullwinkle pod commentary.
I think we do.

Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah without your trying. I think to do an entire
like Rocky and bowl Winkle Deep Dive podcast. I mean,
I can't like Yeah.

Speaker 2 (15:12):
But I really feel like we talk a lot about
Rocky and Bullwinkle.

Speaker 1 (15:17):
And also you got to remember, like, I've been podcasting
since two thousand and seven, so it's like that a
younger version of me would be like, oh my god,
I'm gonna start a brand new show about fucking Rocking
and bowl Winkle and watch every episode, and shit, I
this version of me doesn't have nearly as much time
to do that. You got to remember when I was
growing my pod empire, like I took three years off

(15:39):
of film, stop doing movies, and was like just started
doing that. So yeah, that's it. It sounds fun, but
it's also like tough for me to sit back and
watch a thing as opposed to you know, and you
can't really enjoy Rocky and Bwenkle while it is a cartoon,

(16:03):
is enjoyable for the dialogue and you know, the narration,
Like the way they made that show is like it's
a radio show that has drawings.

Speaker 2 (16:13):
Oh so you're saying you don't know you can sit
down and watch it without doing something else. At the
same time, well.

Speaker 1 (16:21):
I mean what you want to talk about when you
want to talk about Rocky and Bogle isn't so much
the imagery, Yeah, which is what you would need to
do on a podcast because you can't hear the episode, right,
So if you're listening to the episodes, then we're not talking.

(16:41):
Because we're listening to the episodes. I'm not going to
talk over them, you know what I'm saying. So it's
just because Rocky and Bowenkle is so rapid fire, it
just doesn't seem like it lends lends itself to that.
But very tempting and a very cool idea because it
is something that you know, passion will take you real
far in the podcast, and Lord knows, and there's only

(17:05):
five seasons, so like.

Speaker 2 (17:07):
We could get through it.

Speaker 1 (17:08):
Yeah, yeah, all right, like always possibility.

Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, we'll keep it. We'll keep it.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
In a backpacket.

Speaker 6 (17:15):
Uh.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Junior Underscore Silent.

Speaker 1 (17:18):
Asked, I'll tell you what you want to pay me
to do that podcast. I'm there, Okay, me like talking. Yeah,
I'm not even talking crazy amounts of money, man, but
I'm like.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
The wheedle beak.

Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, I just want to take someone with my beak
a little. Yeah he could.

Speaker 2 (17:36):
Junior Underscore Silent, you can.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
Remember the cartoon we voiced a few episodes back and
then cut into a track. Yeah, I saw the animatic
for it, you did? I mean, you know what I'll
show you. No, I'm going to show you on beardless
stickless plus that's right, that's how we promote that. Are
you not watching the show? Are you listening to it
on our heart? Meaning are you listening to the commercial

(17:59):
laden version of the show.

Speaker 2 (18:01):
My god, I heart's gonna fire.

Speaker 1 (18:02):
Us, reward yourself. They lay eyes on this motherfucker man,
Go to that Kevin Smith club and you can watch us, dude,
the show. We got two cameras on this ship. You
could see what Harley dresses like, and shit, how much
time she puts into those eyes and whatnot? Which hat
she's wearing many weeks in a row. What are you
ever going to change that fucking hat? Five weeks in
a row? You notice that changed both jacket and shirt.

(18:25):
Oh you didn't, Well, then you're not paying close enough
attention to the game. And that's the way the games play, baby.
So if you're watching a beardless stickless mate at that
Kevin Smith club, what you're seeing is me in an
entirely new outfit, because this is higher entirely different week.
And what you're seeing is Harley. I'm dressed in the

(18:46):
same ratchet colonelos two weeks in all.

Speaker 2 (18:49):
This feels rude. It feels rude and targeted, and like
you could have given me a heads up.

Speaker 1 (18:56):
What do you mean you're grown? Ask kit. There's a
Bullwinkle shirt right there you can squeeze into. I bought
this bowling. I won this bow Winkle shirt on evening.
Guess no ship, but you picked it up. You're like,
I can wear this, and I was like, Ah, I
don't know about that, kiddo. This is for a child.

Speaker 2 (19:12):
It is for an infant.

Speaker 1 (19:14):
But your mom was also, Oh my god, look at Bird.

Speaker 2 (19:17):
I can't she looks so scary right now because.

Speaker 1 (19:20):
Her she got her she's clo some of the reds.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
Yeah, it was really scary looking. Oh, oh my god,
it looks like she's being possessed.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
She's doing the ring bit. This is when she's like
it's getting from the ring and she pushes all her
hair in her face and cross you.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
Oh my god, Burt Bird, I guess I.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
Don't want to remember, but get her head up. Walky wacky,
oh wacky, she woke.

Speaker 2 (19:50):
She opened her eyes wacky.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
What look he's like, what ye know?

Speaker 2 (19:57):
He's like I'm right fucking here. Actually, where is watching?

Speaker 1 (20:00):
She likes say her name. She's like, oh, I love
it when he says my name.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
Okay, anyways, she's German, so she's.

Speaker 6 (20:08):
Like, I love it he says my name Fries.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
That's exactly what any who Junior underscore silent asks does
he want grandkids?

Speaker 1 (20:22):
Who's he you? Oh? Does Kevin Smith wont grandkid? Yes?
It's complicated, he does, but not from Harley. So if
anybody wants a lonely and grandkids, no, of course I would.
I would love Greg.

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Kidds will be playing this for my future children.

Speaker 1 (20:44):
Of course I would love it to be Harley the
grand kids. I have no other child, So the only
way I'm gonna have grandkids is if Harley is into
Harley's Yeah. No, I yeah, I guess. I mean I
want him. If you if the kid wants like, I
wouldn't be one of these parents. It's like, you know,
I would love a little something to pick up and

(21:06):
squeeze and spoil your mother?

Speaker 2 (21:09):
Can you imagine? I can't.

Speaker 1 (21:10):
But if you were like, I don't have a fucking kid,
I'd be like, you don't want to have a kid,
and then you'd be our only fucking client from cradle
to grave, and Ship like you're like, we're like you're
like the Godfather and we're like Tom Hagen the consigliarian Ship.

(21:31):
I'm a lawyer, but I only I have a law firm,
but I only worked for one client.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
Damn powerful.

Speaker 1 (21:37):
That's what he.

Speaker 2 (21:38):
Did, man, that's I mean.

Speaker 1 (21:41):
Tom Hagen was found by Michael Corleone, brought him home
when he was a kid who was kind of homeless
and Ship like that. So he was raised kind of
by the Corleone family. So he he loves Don Corleone
because you know, he took him in and made a
kind of sense. So he put sentiment to law school
and shit like that. He didn't let him Tom get
in crimes fit like hands on crimes. But you know,

(22:04):
if you're consigliary, the way I understand it from these
Godfather pictures, you're crime adjacent. But there's a lot of
things you can't know so that you can stand in
a courtroom. And but this is back when laws mattered.
As we now know, that's not the case. So many
movies would fall apart in the modern era. Yeah, but yeah,

(22:29):
that's who you that's who I am. I'm Tom Hagen
and you're a fucking Don Corleone. Do you ever see
The Godfather? And I'm not one of those men that's like,
oh my god, you've got to see it. But I
enjoy this wonderful movie. He's a great filmmaker, Francis for
Coppla and it's utterly watchable both Godfather and Godfather too,

(22:52):
and is the birth of the gangster genre as we know,
and maybe not the gangster, the mob genre, because there
were always gangster movies, angels with dirty faces the world.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
There's a lot going on right now.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
Okay, But did I answer the question?

Speaker 2 (23:09):
I think so. The question was do you want grandkids?

Speaker 1 (23:16):
We got to Jimmy movies from there, but yes I
would if she wants them. But no pressure, good answer.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
I really like this.

Speaker 1 (23:25):
We got dogs.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
I like this question.

Speaker 1 (23:26):
She here. I will say this for the record, and
I'm buying into this whole like the cat is your grandchild?

Speaker 2 (23:33):
Moves your grandson.

Speaker 1 (23:38):
Whenever he says that to me, I look around, who
is he talking? So yeah, I wouldn't pressure you into
having a grand kid, but I will pressure you to
stop insisting that a cat is my grandkid. You now

(23:58):
the Rabbit. On the other hand, you can take credit
for that one.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Oh my god, I love you. I really like this.
Next question Emily underscore and Underscore asks what's your favorite
thing about your amazing daughter?

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Where'd you get these questions from your Did you put
them in your Instagram? Is that why you did it? Well? Man,
it's a fucking easy content, you.

Speaker 2 (24:24):
Know, I think?

Speaker 1 (24:25):
All right? Was the question? What names something about you?
That's cool? Now?

Speaker 2 (24:30):
What's your favorite thing about your amazing dadde?

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Favorite thing about Harley? Oh my god? Like that's asking
you know, what is your favorite episode of Rocky and
Bowlinkle They're all good? Or what's your favorite Kevin Smith movie?
I mean they all rock Let me see it was
my favorite thing about Harley. Harley is so hear that

(25:03):
wucky just breathing the fuck Get back to your answer.
Harley is so well adjusted. Like she when I went
crazy a couple of years ago. She was a good
tether because she had been like through therapy since she

(25:29):
were how old twelve thirteen? So so I wonder, what's
been interesting? So she was, you know, through through most
of like her experiences. You know, I was like, well,
I mean whatever she gets out of it. That's valuable,

(25:51):
and she seems to get a lot out of it.
Blah blah blah. But then when I went through a
thing and then I was kind of thrown into that world.
I always, of course love my daughter, but I appreciated
how well adjusted she was. She knew how to deal

(26:18):
with things that I was just learning how to deal with.
So her emotional maturity, like has always been impressive but
enviable even to me at age fifty four, where I'm like,
I don't even know if I'm that emotionally mature. So

(26:39):
is that that's something I admire about you? But is
that it?

Speaker 2 (26:45):
That was very nice?

Speaker 1 (26:47):
Yes, thank you, But I don't know if that's like
the the thing you've got you you're. It's been wrong
to say like your heart because like you're is like
my heart and shit, so it feels too complimentary to me, okay,
But there's something you do and feel in a way.

(27:09):
You Oh, you always want your kids to be better
than you, and you are better than me in many ways,
like particularly when it comes to emotional maturity, when it
comes to you know, fucking head shrinky shit. But I
think the thing i'm you know, and again, loving you
just goes without saying. But I think the thing I
admire most about you is that the question.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Your favorite saying about you.

Speaker 5 (27:36):
Like to know.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
The answers are, you don't give a fuck what people think.
Compared to the way I give a fuck what people think,
you're a lot freer. So maybe the truer compliment is
you are far freer than I am.

Speaker 2 (27:51):
I don't know if I would agree with that.

Speaker 1 (27:54):
I know I like you don't like nobody likes getting
fucking shit said about them, but you you're a little
more fearless, uh than I am. I think when it
comes to to that, I see it, okay, But you
do have a gigantic fucking heart, Like you're such a
good person. But it feels wrong to cite you for

(28:16):
that because like, in that way we're very similar. And
I feel like I'm just going like, these are the
things I like about you because they remind me of me.
But you could have been a real douche, you know
what I'm saying. Like you were raised in Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (28:31):
I really could have gone south a lot of.

Speaker 1 (28:33):
Fucking I may said, and I don't mean in that
fun British way, sh my mates. I mean there's some
broken ass individuals out here, and honestly, that may be
one of my favorite things about you. And I can't
even take credit for that. It's not like, you know,
we took you into the belly of the beast. If

(28:55):
we had raised you in New Jersey and you turned
out the way you turn now, like I, you know,
I wouldn't blank and I'd be like, well, of course,
but we raised you in a town full of just broken, hungry, desperate, empty,

(29:17):
treacherous assholes, and you still turned into like a really
beautiful human being with a great heart. Stuff like That's
that is like? And again that's that one. I don't
Oddly enough, I'm not like, well, that's because we raised
your right then, man, how you get raised? They're fucking
some kids who had great parents and still wind up

(29:37):
going fucking south and shit. But yeah, you you fucking
survived South Central, a place where busting a cap is fundamental. No,
you can't get the ship in a school book naming song.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
All right, Yeah, well I was a little different cube.

Speaker 1 (30:02):
Thank you, it's my ice cube.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Good job. I I often say, I think it's crazy
to raise a child here. I think, will you probably not?

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Because you don't want grandkids. I'm not accepting them.

Speaker 2 (30:19):
Cats vot Grandpole bit stupid, didn't.

Speaker 1 (30:30):
Believe in him. I still believe in him. I believes
in Satin.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
I believe in Grandpapa, believe in Santy claus A, grand
Poppy clothe.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Grand, I believe in class. Uh.

Speaker 2 (30:48):
No, I think I do want kids, but I don't
think I want to raise them here.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
You wouldn't raise them here.

Speaker 2 (30:52):
I think it's at least like not in the city.

Speaker 1 (30:55):
You go like Calabasas or some ship.

Speaker 2 (30:58):
No, I don't. I'm not sure you.

Speaker 1 (31:01):
Can't go too far. Your mother would fucking freak.

Speaker 2 (31:06):
I just done.

Speaker 1 (31:07):
Or that might be what gets us out of this house.
If you go move someplace else and have some kids
and ship, she might be like, we're leaving, We're moving
next to her. I'm like Montana, Fuck dad. Why didn't
she go to Montana in the first place? She wanted space, Kevin,

(31:27):
She fell crowded up and she wanted space, pretty big
fucking place.

Speaker 2 (31:34):
You can't just be saying this ship.

Speaker 1 (31:37):
They can't find you. I can barely find your house.
I know where you live.

Speaker 2 (31:40):
Come on, man, all right. Anyways, I think it's a
risky place to raise a child. It could go wrong
very easily, could go south very fast.

Speaker 1 (31:52):
Fair enough. Where would you go?

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Maybe in New York.

Speaker 1 (31:57):
I would like to live in Montana. Did you ever
see for Red October? No, it's good, flick, nice Sam
Neil plays like a They're Russians, you know, and they
defect with the Red October. This hunt the sub that
runs on a silent caterpillar drive, so you wouldn't even
hear if it was right behind you, and it'd be

(32:18):
too late. They'd blast you with a torpedo and that'd
be that. Normally you could use sonar to track subs,
but not the Red October because of its propulsion drive.
And so Jack Ryan, he understands that the Russian captain
played by Sean Connery is trying to defect. He's the
Vilnius schoolmaster. Then he studied him and he wrote books

(32:42):
about him and shit. So he's like, he's trying to defect,
and the Russian government is trying to blow up the
Red October rather than it fall into the hands of
the Americans because they know he's also trying to defect.
And it's this pretty awesome spy thriller. If you've never
seen it out and young Alec Baldwin and ship Sean Connery,

(33:03):
but Sam Neil is in it. And at one point,
oh god, he's sitting at the table talking to Sean
Connery and they're talking about what they'll do if they
you know, if this works and they get to go
to America.

Speaker 2 (33:13):
Oh my god, are you fucking crying?

Speaker 1 (33:18):
There's a time when people really wanted to be here.
And he goes, h, I should like to live in Montana?
Will they let me? And Shane Connory is like, I
think so. Like there's two Russian dudes having a conversation
about what freedom in America would be. Like, it's a
good movie written by Tom Clancy. He wrote a series

(33:45):
of spy books Ben Affleck, who somebody just reminded me recently,
Oh fucking Nana, And she was like, would she like
first like when then she first saw you interact with
Ben that Ben was like talking to you going like
I'm your father, and I was like, that's his joke.

(34:07):
He's always done that. For the moment he better he
was like, I'm your father. But he played Jack Ryan
in a movie called The Sum of All Fears, so
he knew Tom Clancy and one day I got an
email from Tom Clancy, one of the best selling authors

(34:27):
on the planet, going like, I got your email from Affleck.
I love that Dogma picture. And I just got to
know where you studied, what Jesuit school you studied at,
because there's no fucking way that you can write a
movie like that without having studied under a jesuit.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (34:44):
And I got in touch with him and called him
and stuff, and I was like, no, I'm Jesuit. I
just went to Catholic school. And he goes, let me
tell you something that's that that movie is written by
a Catholic scholar. He's like, I'm a longtime Catholic man
in that movie. Blah blah blah blah blah. No fitting
story because I'm not on a dogmitory.

Speaker 2 (35:01):
Right now, dog one movie dot com. All right, all right,
I think, uh, you know, I don't know what the
original question was how we just got there, but hopefully
we answered it.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Let's see, sometimes it's not the destination, it's the journey. Right,
You're so right, so right.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
I'm looking there's so many I'm just looking for a
what's one thing you and your dad? Let's see, bone
Dust asks what what's one thing you and your dad
really connect on? Love your band, by the way, thank you.

(35:48):
I would say I would say pop culture like music, movies, veganism,
that's a big one. That's a big one for sure,
SNL movies, TV.

Speaker 1 (36:04):
Art, Yeah, music except culture club.

Speaker 2 (36:11):
You know what I tried really hard to remember.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Was that beardless stickless plus or beardless stick was me?

Speaker 2 (36:18):
Beardless sticks me?

Speaker 1 (36:21):
On the main show. You were that embarrassing. It's okay
to be embarrassing on the after show, which if you're
not listening to kids, are you can't your fucking non
listening asked to that Kevin Smith club by yourself a
cheap level membership and listen to the after show.

Speaker 2 (36:36):
I embarrassed myself even more on this episode with go ahead,
let's see existential.

Speaker 1 (36:45):
Here you go.

Speaker 7 (36:46):
You're in the zone, all right, Give me another thank you, sir,
have another, thank you, sir, have another thank you, Sara,
I have another.

Speaker 1 (36:56):
It's my Kevin Bacon from Animal House.

Speaker 2 (36:58):
Oh my god, wait, this is so crazy because we
just talked about this last week slash like.

Speaker 1 (37:05):
Earlier today, but I mean last week.

Speaker 2 (37:08):
I mean sticks, dips and rips. Asked, how did he
get the rights to Alice and Jane's music and Clerks,
how much did it cost a fan?

Speaker 1 (37:19):
Nuts? Sure you didn't write that question yourself?

Speaker 2 (37:21):
Positive, I'm not stick Sticks and Rips.

Speaker 1 (37:24):
Talked about elsewhere. Sony did a soundtrack and there's a
guy named Benji Gordon. He was our music exact and
so he was like, here's a bunch of tracks, man,
pick what you like, and I did and that became
the soundtrack. But they never told me what it costs.

(37:44):
They just told me, like, I'm in the soundtrack, like
one of our songs costs more than the budget of Clerks, Right,
So I don't know. That's stuff that's like back in
those days, that was well above my pay grade. But
in these days it's just something I'm not like. You
only hear about it when it's like they want two
hundred and fifty grand, You're like, what the fuck? Later

(38:06):
in my career nowadays, music is not as expensive as that.

Speaker 2 (38:11):
Have a very important question for you far away, Rachel
Louvu asks, will you come to the twenty fifth class
of two thousand reunion at Illinois?

Speaker 6 (38:22):
Was?

Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yes, where I got my honorary degree. So when is
it this fall? Is the what year twenty twenty fifth,
twenty fifth anniversary.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
For the class of two thousand.

Speaker 1 (38:36):
That's when it happened. My god, So that was after
we stopped flying for a minute because of the time
we were flying with you, and the plane dropped forty
stories and shit, and like I legit thought we were
going to die. Like I buckled your mom's seatbelt because
she was holding you and the plane was in free
fall and shit. It was crazy. And then they righted itself.

(38:56):
Pilot came on later'd be like, folks, we hit what's
known as a mountain wave drop the equivalent of forty stories. Well,
everybody's okay back there.

Speaker 2 (39:05):
Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (39:06):
So we stopped flying for a walk. So I was like,
I can't very to do that again. So we took
the train. I took train to Illinois for the Illinois
Wesleyan ceremony where I was given an honorary degree, give
a big old speech, and uh Jen met me there
and then we trained home.

Speaker 2 (39:23):
Wow. Yeah, I like a train. I like a train ride.
Was last time your to San Diego about months happening.

Speaker 1 (39:32):
Have you ever had been in a sleeper car pullman
car if you will, I think.

Speaker 2 (39:38):
I have, but I don't know why or where.

Speaker 1 (39:42):
Train travel is various. I'm very romantic about it.

Speaker 2 (39:45):
Yeah, there really is. I really enjoy it. Meo meo,
meu meumo.

Speaker 1 (39:51):
Yah yam yam yeah yeah yum yeah yeah.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
Yeah yeah, Okay, I like this one.

Speaker 1 (39:57):
Okay.

Speaker 2 (39:57):
Mario Russo twenty twenty. If you both couldn't make a
movie in Disneyland, what would it be about? What an
optimal time to speak about the project that you once worked.

Speaker 1 (40:13):
On, Kingdom Keepers? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (40:16):
I thought that was pretty genius.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Is based on a book written by a fan, a
series of books about what happens when the gates closed
at Disney, and it was so well received that eventually
Disney started acknowledging it. You could buy those books at
Disney and for Disney Plus before it was called Disney Plus,

(40:41):
when it was just the Disney Netflix killers that were
calling it. In development, I was working on a show
called Kingdom Keepers that was kind of based on that,
based on the premise, but then it went in a
different direction altogether, very d Disney ip heavy. You know,
the park closed and everybody comes to life, so Cat

(41:02):
Hook's a real guy, and so forth and so on,
and they killed it and guy, this guy Ricky whatever
fuck his name was. He came from marketing, and he
was the guy that was like, there's way too much
IP in this, No, we're doing this instead. And he
was the one that was like, let's do Marvel and
Star Wars shows. So as a fan of both of those,

(41:23):
I was like, I back his play, even though I
would have had a show on what then became a.

Speaker 2 (41:29):
Disney Plus a Disney Blues.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
But that being said, what is the most popular show
that ever happened on Disney Plus and Mandalorian? Probably I
would say so, Yeah, this ship was going fucking knock
that off its perch, and it would have been fun.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
I think it would have been fucking awesome.

Speaker 1 (41:46):
Personally, Well, yeah, but you're a Disney kid, Disney nerd.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Yeah, but who the hell wouldn't want to see Disneyland
after dark?

Speaker 1 (41:55):
Yeah, watch it come to life? And ship?

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Yeah, park do yark.

Speaker 1 (42:02):
But we got to do things like behind the scenes
after hours. They took us, you know, for a park
tour after the park was closed. We got to walk
on which I will never space Mountain when it was
closed the track. They weren't like bring your child, they
were like.

Speaker 2 (42:18):
Him and you should have said listen, that's true.

Speaker 1 (42:21):
Maybe I should have brought you to be like I
got a kid. You got to say yes to this Ricky?

Speaker 2 (42:24):
You got I like how you're just name dropping this guy?

Speaker 1 (42:29):
Well good, you should wear it man. Ps he did?

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Well, yeah, I think he's okay. Let's see, Rested, Ricky.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
You so f fun my mond.

Speaker 5 (42:43):
Hey, Ricky, Ricky, make my show, make my show and
make me rich week.

Speaker 2 (42:51):
Me resting tired face asked what's the project or property
that you would want to work on? Slash make your
bull wiggle? That was fast. I mean, I mean yeah,
mine is Scooby Doo.

Speaker 5 (43:10):
Scooby Dooby do? Where are you? You're ready and your
will if we can can on you, Scooby.

Speaker 1 (43:21):
Do, I know you'll catch that villain? What kind? Would
it be? Animated or live action?

Speaker 2 (43:30):
Either?

Speaker 1 (43:31):
So? If it's live action, are you in it? Who
do you play? Scooby Now you're more of a scrappy type.

Speaker 2 (43:36):
Scrappy doo whoo take a one fucking wild.

Speaker 1 (43:40):
Guess, Daphne, No, Malma, Yes that's what you would go for.

Speaker 2 (43:46):
Yes?

Speaker 1 (43:48):
Why not reach for the stars? Man? Be like be
shaggy bitch.

Speaker 2 (43:51):
I mean you have a point. Reaching for the stars
would be Scooby.

Speaker 1 (43:55):
They've reinvented. Yeah, reaching for Oh my god, if you
get to play Scooby, everybody ain't nobody on the plan?
You know what? Internet so divisive. They might be like,
she can't be Scooby.

Speaker 2 (44:04):
She's not a dog.

Speaker 1 (44:05):
She doesn't look a fucking thing like Scooby. Scooby is funny,
I saw yoga hoss. She is not so.

Speaker 2 (44:13):
Scrappy nappy do?

Speaker 1 (44:15):
I call scrappy babby do? That is? Would you take
the job if they're like, we want you to play
scrappy Doo In James Guns relaunch of the Scooby Doo
live action franchise, Yes.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
Are you kidding?

Speaker 1 (44:31):
Cut to the movie comes out. Every critic, every audience
member is just like scrappy Do ruins this movie A
fuck hated him in the cartoon. I hated him even
more than these played by har go ahead. She's not
a dog, poor little boy dog.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
I call moose.

Speaker 1 (44:52):
Scooby move, do you Scooby? Scooby move? Scooby move sounds
more like Scooby.

Speaker 2 (44:59):
Dumb by your Yeah, no, for real, have you ever.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
Seen a Scooby dumb episode?

Speaker 2 (45:03):
Of course, I have seen all of them everything.

Speaker 1 (45:06):
What are your feelings on Scooby Dumb.

Speaker 2 (45:09):
He reminds me of Moo.

Speaker 1 (45:10):
But do you like him or are you like they
shouldn't have gone that far. That's that's unnecessary.

Speaker 2 (45:17):
I mean, I think I would have a special place
in my art room because he really.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Is a moved name another Scooby adjacent dog, another name Scrappy.
We've named Scooby Dumb in Scooby from the world of
Scooby Doo, specifically from Scoop Scooby Doo. He is from
Scooby Doo, but he crossed over to Scooby Doo.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (45:44):
In the Hannah Barbara universe, also a dog that interacts
with humans nanthropomorphic dog. But this dog as little as little.

Speaker 2 (46:03):
Enhanced oh from like the Jetsons or something.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
Not from the Jetsons, because Astro wasn't enhance. He was
just a dog in the future. And the future is
the past, the past the future.

Speaker 2 (46:19):
Hmm.

Speaker 1 (46:21):
He's not a mutt. He is a Dyna mutt.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Oh, I see, I see, I see.

Speaker 1 (46:31):
Blue Falcons dog Dyna mutt with Scooby adjacent there.

Speaker 2 (46:35):
No, I don't think I would have gone there now.

Speaker 1 (46:39):
I don't think there's any left after that, unless they're like, oh, yeah,
there's a girl, Scooby. I don't remember that. Yeah, I
remember Scooby dressing up like a girl from time to time.
Of course, ask me something else.

Speaker 2 (46:50):
Well, maybe I will. Satanic Panic asks if you had
to recast Sweeney Todd with muppets, who would you cast?
In which rules? Mm hmmm, who's.

Speaker 1 (47:04):
The most gonzo as Sweeney?

Speaker 2 (47:08):
Oh for a second, army friends?

Speaker 1 (47:15):
Yeah, the I love my raizors and I love my chickens.
Chickens nice.

Speaker 2 (47:29):
Not the best gonzo, No, that was pretty good.

Speaker 1 (47:31):
Walk a walk a walk up. Not the best fazzi either.

Speaker 2 (47:35):
Ah, Fozzy would be that little kid that does things.

Speaker 1 (47:39):
Uh, ladies, your attention, Toby Toby, come ming, excuse me?

Speaker 5 (47:49):
Right?

Speaker 1 (47:52):
All right, So Gonzo is Sweeney Todd. Missus Piggy is
definitely missus loved, and nobody else matters. We all know
that Johanna could be played by Kermit's nephew Robin.

Speaker 2 (48:08):
Who would play who would play Missus Todd?

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Oh balsars for re pity, for warment? That little prawn guy,
which ky little prown guy? The brawn the prawn I
don't know what his name is. He's from the Muppets
that I didn't get into, like Muppet Treasure Island. I

(48:38):
think he features probably and maybe Muppets in space. A
lot of young Muppet like lovers know him, but I
don't know that motherfucker's name. But that guy, maybe I
should go classic instead. Hold on, who are we trying
to cast again?

Speaker 2 (48:52):
Missus missus Todd.

Speaker 1 (48:55):
The crazy pegger woman. Yeah, I'm going with uh uh
beaker me.

Speaker 6 (49:05):
Me me, me, me, me me, alrighty me me.

Speaker 1 (49:14):
That's me.

Speaker 2 (49:15):
Yeah, that's you, that's that is you? Fair Hey, mister.

Speaker 1 (49:21):
Meaning me, mister, I'm so happy I could eat you up?
Are really good? Do you know what I do? Mister?
To what I dream? If the business stays is good,
where i'd really like to go? Any Also, don't you
want to know? Do you really want to go?

Speaker 6 (49:41):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (49:42):
Bella Donna's Revenge is wondering. Does Kevin Smith have any
beliefs in the occult or supernatural slash or any experience?

Speaker 1 (49:52):
No, but I believe. I mean, I thought I met
Jesus once. I'm pretty sure I did, but I don't
know that was Jesus or just a ghost because he
didn't mentioned nothing about like you sold me your soul
when I was nine.

Speaker 2 (50:05):
Probably would have mentioned it. I probably would have brought
them up. Yeah, that's so true.

Speaker 1 (50:11):
But I believe there are people that believe in the supernatural,
and some of those cats can be very dangerous based
on their beliefs. And I'm not just talking about like
people who believe in voodoo. I'm talking about Christians. But uh,
I don't really have many supernatural beliefs like I don't.

(50:34):
I'm more Scully than Molder, but I'm not like you know, Oh,
no way. Maybe I'm more agnostic. I'm not an atheist
when it comes to the subject of the supernatural. I'm
more agnostic. I'm open to proof. But in my fifty
four almost fifty five years, I've seen very little of that.

Speaker 2 (50:59):
Oh, mister, I'm happy, eat good?

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Do you what did like to do? Mister? Well, I
dream if the business days is good, where I really
like to go? Any I don't think? Yeah, do you really? Yes?

Speaker 2 (51:17):
Of course, my neighbor Adam is wondering favorite go to
vegan treat.

Speaker 1 (51:26):
My neighbor, Adam, let me tell.

Speaker 2 (51:27):
You there are a lot.

Speaker 1 (51:30):
Yeah, I mean my vegan diet is vegan treaty?

Speaker 2 (51:36):
Hm hm hmmm, do you really want to know?

Speaker 1 (51:41):
Do you really want to know? Lint? Is it lint chocolate?
L I N D and T. I think that's company.
They make a really nice oat milk chocolate bar that
tastes pretty damn close to the real thing. And Trader
Joe's just start putting out one which is pretty fucking fire. Okay,
but that I wouldn't say that's my favorite. What's my

(52:01):
favorite vegan snack?

Speaker 2 (52:02):
Bamba?

Speaker 1 (52:04):
But I was eating that before I was vegan, though,
favorite vegan snack?

Speaker 2 (52:10):
Oh oh oh oh.

Speaker 1 (52:16):
They got uh at Papa Ganache in Mattawan, and they
got one in Manasquan as well. In Jersey. It's a
vegan gluten free bakery. They make yodels which are fucking.

Speaker 2 (52:34):
Fire your favorite.

Speaker 1 (52:36):
I buy them and fly them back home and ship
because out here all we got is that fuck.

Speaker 2 (52:41):
They don't don't be shitting on vegan businesses please by name,
just saying do it in the privacy of beardless sticklas
plus at least fair enough.

Speaker 1 (52:50):
Take a page out of Papa Ganash's book or Cat's
Luck Vegan another fire vegan dessert spot well and they
make other food as well, and that is in uh
Asbury Park slash Neptune area of New Jersey. I love
the people that run that place. Man. They are so
whatever the culture is, they are so counter to it.

(53:13):
It's awesome. So those are my favorite snacks. But that's
if I have to travel or if I'm in Jersey.
About what I'm out here, Sprouts makes a began muffin,
which has been we've been overreading lately. But even before that,
what do I get when I go to Besties? What
do I never not get when I go to Besties?

Speaker 2 (53:34):
Mmm? You've been getting the ice cream lately?

Speaker 1 (53:36):
Yeah, johny Lamas Man, there's like a like a nutty
buddy of old, like a cone and ship and it's
all oat milk or whatnot. It's been pretty good.

Speaker 2 (53:44):
You get candies, yeah, you like red vines.

Speaker 1 (53:49):
No, that's your mother. I'm a Twizzlers man. Oh I Twizzlers, Yeah,
those are my Those are my peanut butter though as well.
Sometimes sit there and eat peanut butterer like my father,
straight out of the jar. Figure it worked for him.
He died when he was sixty seven. Maybe I should
stop talking. God, I don't think it was from the

(54:09):
Peanut butroter, I'll tell you that much.

Speaker 2 (54:11):
He was sixty seven.

Speaker 1 (54:12):
Yeah, the old man made it to sixty seven. He
always wanted to make it to seventy. Told my mom.
He was like, if I could just make it to
seventy and make it there, I know. So I got
to make it to seventy just to be like I'm
shoving you're the fuck you might win. No, to live
the life that he wanted to live. I mean, I mean,

(54:33):
it's so weird coming out of my mouth the first
time meant to rephrase it.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
You're living till one hundred and twenty.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Oh, fair enough, Yeah, that'll be fucking Look who if?
What if I fucking forget who you are and age're like,
I don't know sixty five and ship be like get
out of here.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Oh god, that's so sad.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Ask me, Oh my god, this is the the last one.

Speaker 2 (55:01):
This is the last one, and I gotta find a
good Do you believe in free will that I don't
want that?

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Yeah, free will? I believe in free will. I believe
in free willie as well, man, I believe that a
fucking killer well can get away.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
So true, right, that's so true.

Speaker 1 (55:24):
Mean killer whales. Also like a little judge, don't you
think killer?

Speaker 2 (55:28):
Well yeah, it kind of is putting a label on them.
There's somebody who's got to eat.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
About your fucking killer human. Yeah it's more appropriate. Yeah,
you kill a lot of seals.

Speaker 2 (55:44):
Yeah, but you kill you kill all animals.

Speaker 1 (55:49):
Bitch's humans getting an argument in the fucking killer whales
because killer whales. After all this time, we're like, we
don't like that name. And you know it, you know
they call us in the ocean. My name is. I
saw a video of rabbit swimming. Man makes it swim
really fast, and I saw a rabbit jump into a

(56:12):
pool and just truck around swimming like hopped in major
hop where it's like, oh shit, this is intentional. What
are you looking at it?

Speaker 2 (56:19):
I'm scouring the questions for your final question. La la la,
la la la la. Oh well this is us.

Speaker 1 (56:26):
Don't forget kids, beardless, dickless plus over at that Kevin
spin Club, that Kevinsmith club dot com. Give us your
money in this failing economy. Pay to show that you
can want listen to for free with ten thousand commercials
commercial free versions at that Kevin Spit Club.

Speaker 2 (56:43):
Oh my god, you.

Speaker 1 (56:47):
Can be looking at the video right now watching Harley
look at her phone. You can pay for video of
my kid that looks like probably video of your kid
scrolling through a phone. I'm gonna listening to you, old man.

Speaker 2 (56:59):
Are you here's one?

Speaker 1 (57:00):
Here we go, the show ending question. Kids.

Speaker 2 (57:03):
Here it is the big closer. Yes, Jeff Beer's the
kick ass guy.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Jeff Beer is the kick ass guy. Of course.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Why doesn't Kevin Smith have a mullet? When will Harley
get a mullet? Mullets are rad?

Speaker 1 (57:21):
Mullets are rad? Man, would that I could grow enough
hair to rock a mullet.

Speaker 2 (57:26):
I wouldn't be opposed to getting a mullet, do it?

Speaker 1 (57:29):
You just gotta shave the sides, man.

Speaker 2 (57:30):
I think it could be pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (57:32):
Yeah, chicks can rock mullets and.

Speaker 2 (57:34):
Shit, Olivia had a mullet. She looked great, Yeah she did.

Speaker 1 (57:37):
At one point, you could be like the Legend of
Billy Jean bro we will be invincible. You know that song.

Speaker 6 (57:45):
And with the power of a conviction, there is no sacrifice,
Pat Benatar, it's a duer dah situation. We will be in.

Speaker 1 (58:01):
There's a movie called the Legend of Billy Jean where
she's like a girl lives in a small town. Somebody
does something like to her brother or little sister or
something like that, and she like stands up in like
the way in a way. Now that would just be
like so like, it's not really standing up, it's really
what you're supposed to do if somebody fucking pushes you
around or something like that, and it trickles into her

(58:23):
becoming like this American icon of rebellion and shit like that,
and then the town has to bring her down. She's
gone too powerful.

Speaker 2 (58:33):
And shit, does she have a mullet?

Speaker 1 (58:35):
If I remember correctly, she does some fucked up shit
to her hair. It's not all that dissimilar from some
of the pot elements of a movie called Pump Up
the Volume. Did you ever hear that movie with the
young Christian Slater. That movie was about pirate radio, Like
a guy had its own pirate radio station, and we

(58:57):
all it all captured everyone's imagination of a certain age.
So when podcasting came along, that's what I was like,
Oh my god, it could be like fucking happy Harry
Hart on his name in the movie, and shit, I
could be a modern day Christian Slater. Now it's a
world full of Christian slaters. We're all pumping up the volume.
We're doing it right now. We're all living in a

(59:19):
world that pump up the volume. Dreamed of.

Speaker 2 (59:23):
Pump up the volume. Rant no walk so we could.

Speaker 1 (59:26):
Run exactly, that's true. Pump up the volume, Pump up
the volume, pump up the volume. Dance, dance. I don't
even think that song was in that movie.

Speaker 2 (59:35):
Really missed opportunity totally.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
That's why it failed, So it'll always be a failure.
It was very impressionable, all right. Is that the last question?

Speaker 2 (59:46):
I mean there is many more.

Speaker 1 (59:47):
We thank all of those many people for submitting questions.
It's such late, notice too, did you just throw it
up there and be like, ask me something to ask
my dad? I don't even know what to talk about.
We have nothing to talk about. Help me, help me,
help me. Yeah, he's a virtual stranger. There's your beardless
stickless me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:00:09):
For this week, kids, to our our heart friends we love.

Speaker 2 (01:00:16):
There's probably one right now.

Speaker 1 (01:00:19):
Truly, as soon as we're like and goodbye, it's like, hey,
do you have a rectile dysfunction? There's your beardless stickless
me for this week, kids, For beardless stickless me. Don't
forget Dogma. Now. If you can't see it on the
Dogma Resurrection Tour, which I'm now on, uh, you can

(01:00:42):
just see it in theaters everywhere June fifth. Tickets at
dogmamovie dot com I think, or Iconic Releasing dot com
or AMC Theaters dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:00:52):
Just google it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Yeah, you can get tickets. Ain't nobody hiding them, kids,
trust me.

Speaker 2 (01:00:56):
And while you're out there, go look up send them
in the mail.

Speaker 1 (01:01:00):
Oh well, well, plugski plug ski while you're out there.
The band is called Cinnamon, the song is called Star,
and there's another one called Why Why. You could listen
to it Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, wherever you download your.

Speaker 2 (01:01:20):
Music anywhere anyway, just listen to it.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
Please put your ears on it. Come on, just stick
this in your fucking ears.

Speaker 2 (01:01:26):
Please do it for my kid. Please.

Speaker 1 (01:01:28):
There it is. Kids. There's your beardless dickless moa for
this week for beardless stick this mo.

Speaker 2 (01:01:34):
I'm Kevin Smith, Harley Queen Smith.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
Of a beardless tickless life.

Speaker 2 (01:01:38):
Wow, right, not even day, just in case it was.

Speaker 1 (01:01:42):
The last show.

Speaker 2 (01:01:43):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (01:01:56):
This has been a podcast production podcast podcast using our
mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
did you like what you just heard?

Speaker 1 (01:02:08):
Well, guess what.

Speaker 4 (01:02:09):
We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts
waiting for you at that Kevinsmithclub dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:02:16):
Go sign up now,