Why Won’t Anyone Help Them?!

Before Kevin goes on the Dogma tour, Harley has questions… about the 90’s. Plus: Harley has to sell some shirts!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome bles me. I'm Kevin spill and Quinn's news. I'm kids.
This is the last time we're going to be doing this.
I mean, calling it live would be a mistake, but
we generally record the show.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
The night before it comes out.

Speaker 1 (00:42):
Well, I was gonna tell him, I was gonna say
a week of the show. But yes, Harley's right. Minutes
before you get it. Will Wilkins is rushing it like
Joan Cusack through the hallways and broadcast news. Do you
ever see that movie? No reference tell you the movie.
I know it's Steve Cutts. It's a wonderful flick. But
any event, uh we this is the last week we're

(01:04):
gonna be doing that for a red hot minute because
I will be heading out on the road.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
You will be gone for quite some time.

Speaker 1 (01:11):
And my band Cinnamon will be performing our hit star
You scare me. No, I have my own band. I'm
a one man bands, the Dogma band Man going out
on the Dogma Resurrection Tour, which starts on Sunday today

(01:32):
with us in their Ears. Is Thursday, true, but really
it's Tuesday, Tuesday. But the listener, this is Thursday. I'm
going to be on a stage in Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia
with Jay doing a Jay and sonomba show that we
have to make up from like a couple of months

(01:53):
ago during the snowstorm, the snowstorm Virginia. So we do
that Friday, I come back here and stuff, and then
Sunday is the first show. Two shows in Los Angeles,
and then Monday, I go to San Diego. From San Diego,
on Tuesday, I go to Phoenix. From Phoenix, on Wednesday,

(02:15):
I go to Seattle.

Speaker 2 (02:18):
That's what I thought, because I know it in my head.

Speaker 1 (02:21):
Now Minneapolis, it's it starts. So the kid and I
are not going to have like any opportunity because I'm
not coming back. I'm gone for like a month, not
coming back coming back. So we're gonna you know this,
this show you're hearing was Fresh Baked this week, but

(02:44):
every other show you're going to listen to for the
next four weeks after that, for the next month are
going to be canned shows that we're recording in the past. So,
for all we know, Past is the president. This could
be the creepiest This could be the creepy pasta moment
of the.

Speaker 3 (03:04):
Show I Hate.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
I record four episodes in advance.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Don't say it I die. I hate that. I knew
you were going to go there?

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Do you do? You hold on to him and string
him out like once a year?

Speaker 2 (03:24):
You know what, if you die, I'm not thinking about
the podcast.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
To think about the podcast, then you're not committed to
the podcast, because let me tell you, I have a
contingency plan in case you die.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Oh what does he take my place?

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Lucky steps up to the mic. He just looks at
me lovingly the whole time, which is all show Yes, that.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Is this like half the time, and then the other
half of the time, I'm looking at you like no,
I I I'm just saying I just I hate that.
That's not gonna happen. So I'm just gonna go ahead
and knock on wood and.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
Perhaps over the course of these not this episode, but
starting next episode, the four pre recorded episodes, I will
be leaving you coded messages that you can re put
together from the grave. Translate from like I'm gone and
you still put it together and you're like, oh my god,
he told me where the map was. Then you find

(04:27):
the map, and that's what a real adventure begins.

Speaker 4 (04:30):
Oh shit, wait a second, Yeah, So suddenly it ain't
so bad that dad's dead.

Speaker 1 (04:35):
He sets you up on an adventure entertainment. Yeah, fucking
there's a map and it says like, at the end
of this is my gold, dude. That long story short,
at the end of the map, you're the gold. So really,
it don't get anything. I know you were counting on

(04:58):
the blues. I thought I was getting something.

Speaker 2 (05:03):
But that's very nice. That would be Oh my god.
Can you imagine how hard that would hit if you
had passed away. They sent me on this journey and
I was the gold. I would cry for.

Speaker 1 (05:17):
I would hope with me dropping dead.

Speaker 2 (05:20):
You'd be crying, but it would just hit so hard
if I.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Do drop dead. The intent was there, like I was like,
here's the idea, so I'm going to get credit for
the idea.

Speaker 2 (05:29):
But this is not happening.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
So you're gonna have to prepare yourself for one day. No,
one day, I'm going to go on a trip and
just not come back. Oh my god, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 (05:41):
I brought a fun game and you're.

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Just is that what we're doing? No? I mean, look,
I believe me. Your mom's going with me. There's no
way I'm gonna die. We don't die together on the road.
We die in this house, burst me at her hands,
and then she follows maybe, and then.

Speaker 2 (06:04):
She just never leaves again until she dies.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
Oh yes, then she haunts the house as a living
ghost man. The dogs are like what happened to the
guy who used to do all the fun things?

Speaker 2 (06:19):
And then the dogs eat you both.

Speaker 1 (06:22):
Oh wait, I thought she was alive. It's equated. Oh,
she's a living ghost ghost, meaning like she just yeah,
she just she didn't. She's like I killed him. I
felt like that was enough. Now it's just meet it up,
all right. No, so she'll be with me and stuff.
She'll be looking out for me. It's easier, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (06:45):
I why why was that even something you brought up?

Speaker 1 (06:51):
I like to put it out there, man, because then
if if here you want you want to know why? Yeah,
if I do, that sets you up in my absence,
because it gives you something to talk about on news programs.
And at the end, we're just like, I'm gonna miss him.
But he loved my new song start this is My

(07:12):
bad cinnamons in stores and Spotify right now. And he
really wanted everyone, He really really wanted everyone to hear
it used to wait.

Speaker 2 (07:22):
So during my most intense time of morning, I'm going
on the news.

Speaker 1 (07:27):
If I raised you right.

Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yes, never never failed a season opportunity.

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Oh my god, he got to capitalize on that otherwise dying.
I died for nothing. But if you're like, oh my god,
we got a million hits off my dad, he would
love that. You can legit here. This is on fucking record.
You can tell people he legit would have loved this.
Like some people are like he or she would have
loved it. It's guess work and ship.

Speaker 2 (07:54):
This is proof.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
I'm putting it on wax right here. Man, fucking I
would I demanded use your Oh my god, I want
you to financially benefit from it. And I'm not talking
about the dopey ass like here's the insurance policy and
ship you gotta sleep one night and I wanted mansion,
never mind inheritance. I'm talking about the moment I died.

(08:19):
That's when a T shirt machine gets holy shit. I
was just doing a podcast the other day where I
was like, I'm always telling my wife and my kid,
like you know, because I was. I was on a
podcast with Joe Bodner, who is the auctioneer that we had.
I had done the auction with when I sold off
a lot of comic book artwork like a year and
a half ago. Then he came and did some function

(08:40):
and he was like a caller, true caller. He's like, hey,
now many amena. That's cool, spellbinding, like honestly one of
the most entertaining things I've seen in ten years, and
ship so much so that I wrote him into the
next movie. I was like, do that in the movie.

Speaker 2 (08:54):
Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 (08:55):
So I was on his podcast and we were talking
about collecttions and collecting and blah blah blah. So I
showed him my Bulle Wigle stuff and I was like,
my kid was here not too long ago, and she
was like, none of this existed two months ago. I
was like, yeah, I guess I've been collecting pretty hardy.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
It just seems like a lifelong collection. Knowing me actually
multiple lifetimes.

Speaker 1 (09:22):
In this house. You can't be like, my dad's always
had that, My dad's had that for two months.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
This is a very new thing, and it feels very
strongly about it.

Speaker 1 (09:31):
In many ways, it's almost like I am set decorating
a movie about somebody who really likes bollwiggle and it
had a budget, but I could go do that exact
thing and shit, but it's for real. You go in there,
it's curated like a fucking Smithsonian. Oh my god.

Speaker 5 (09:51):
The the the I was telling Bob, I was like, look,
most people collect these things, you know, because we were
talking about how some people, you know, don't.

Speaker 1 (10:05):
They think they own whatever it is they own, And
it's like, you know, like nobody owns shit because at
the end of the day, we all die and it
goes to somebody else and stuff. So you know, you're
just in charge of it for a little bit, you know,
while you're hearing stuff. So like all the stuff that
we collect, and we were talking in generality, you know

(10:29):
that's it matters to you. It's infused with your love
and your passion and the meaning you bring to it
and the story of your life and how it intersects
with it. And what happens is, you know, when most
people fucking die, somebody just fucking stiff arms all those
shit into a big hefty bag and shit, because all
those the meaning of everything on these shelves and in

(10:52):
my office won't have that same meaning to anyone else, right,
And justifiably. However, most people when they die and people
put all their shit in the garbage, like that's that
you have an opportunity to capitalize. The opportunity is like
literally everything has been touched by me, So like all

(11:16):
that boneenkle stuff, you can upsell or four times what
I paid for it, because you're like this was his bowenkles.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Let me just be clear, I hate this conversation.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
I'm telling you this is powerful, and I will feel
like a failure is a father if you don't like,
liquidate so you never have to work again in your life.
Everything gets sold because everything in this house is super
super valuable to somebody outside of this house. To you,
it's just stuff that you grew up around and stuff.
But I have enough trinkets too. There's enough shit where

(11:45):
you could hold on to it and be like my father.
But there's way more shit than you'll ever need, so
you could sell the fuck out of it. I employ
you to do it. I'm putting that on wax too.
You have to fucking this seems so so fucked up.

Speaker 2 (11:58):
It is really fucked up. What has gotten into you?

Speaker 1 (12:03):
I don't know these are Thus I don't like this
I just had this conversation on another podcast, so I was
runny with the content.

Speaker 2 (12:08):
What the fucks with your podcast content?

Speaker 1 (12:12):
Just to talking about we were talking about collections, and
that led to like, what what do people Why do
people treat their collections so seriously? And shit? And most
people treat all their possessions seriously, but they're truly not
their possessions. And at the end of the day, like
me and Brian Johnson used to work for my mom
worked for these two guys, Chuck and Tom Peters, who

(12:33):
did a state sales. So somebody passes away and their
kids like I ain't got time to deal with this,
or not even I ain't got time to deal with this,
They're like, look, can you monetize this? Come in and
so the auctioneer comes in, prices literally everything in the
hosp'sal price tag on everything, and then they have like
essentially a high end garage sale for you know people
auctioneers collectors. So you've been to one of them. I

(12:56):
used to work those when I was a kid man
like work them more. I'd be the person staying around room,
make sure people don't pocket shit and whatnot, but more
importantly setting up tables as they prepare and stuff like that,
but sometimes we were Then me and Brian would then
left to empty out the house like they'd done all
the sales, like this is the stuff that didn't sell.

(13:17):
It's just going to go in the garbage. Here's a
dumpster and start putting it in. And it was like crazy,
like I learned at a young age. And me and I
were talking about fifteen sixteen, so well, I was hanging
out with Brian, so a little older than that, I
was eighteen or nineteen. This woman curated this beautiful life
full of like fucking you know photos and stuff like that,

(13:39):
and we were sitting there looking through like her life
and flipping the photo on the back of a description
of everything that happened in nineteen ten on this day,
and it's in a quote that like we haunted us
and we would always fucking use it in life. She wrote,
a good time was had by all, Oh my gosh,
which is really the way you should live life and stuff.
But I saw someone's lifelong possessions go right into history.

(14:04):
Then when the Northeastern happened in nineteen ninety two, like
you know, our house got swamped, so I lost like
a lot of my childhood toys and shit like that.
So some of those things I recollected was shit I
used to own that I didn't throw out because I
never throw anything out, but it just got like wrecked
in the flood. So I and then you know, then

(14:24):
we had the flood here when the water.

Speaker 2 (14:26):
Destroyed the house must have been triggering.

Speaker 1 (14:28):
Not triggering so much as I've learned over time to like,
you know, if it goes, it goes. That's why when
I was driving away and I thought the fires was
going to take.

Speaker 4 (14:39):
Oh my god, it was like if it don't say well,
during the Pallet fires in January, like when we left,
I looked back and took that picture and the flames
were coming up over the hill.

Speaker 1 (14:51):
So it was like, I, you know, I can't fight that.
And so I was like, if it goes, it goes.
Like I enjoyed it, but it's like it's more important
than we're alive. Everyone. I love a safe and shit.
And as it turned out, nothing got destroyed. But for
some reason it had some effect on me where like
instead of still being zen and being like, well, in
a world where I could have lost everything, we should

(15:13):
really collect nothing. We should really let go of all
the things I like triple down, start buying every bowl
ankle thing that ever fucking happened.

Speaker 2 (15:20):
Had a hard turn in the other direction.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
It's crazy, I can't. I think that was like a
defiant like fuck, you ain't going anywhere. Maybe I don't know,
but it makes me.

Speaker 2 (15:35):
It is pretty interesting.

Speaker 1 (15:36):
It makes me happy just looking at it.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
It seems like there's.

Speaker 1 (15:40):
Also the hunt, which is a fun thing keeps one
engaged and ship and better than hunting for like heroin.

Speaker 2 (15:46):
I mean, you know what good point you.

Speaker 1 (15:49):
Know what I'm saying, like fucking if you're gonna like anytime,
and there's bowlinkle auction coming up, as we all know,
of course, and you know in this house, one of
us goes through waves you know where it's just like
what and then I don't know, let me see it

(16:09):
all right? What like we went back to what where
she's like, well, how much is it? And I heard
like the opening bit and it's just shockingly low but
doesn't mean it won't go high. But it's a very
big piece that like ain't gonna fit many homes and
should definitely fit in this one. Then she started giving

(16:30):
it like like what if I don't want it, oh
it man, because then I get on my high horse
of like I work hard, everyone gets what they want,
ah for once, which is I can say with a
straight face, I'm gonna get what I want.

Speaker 2 (16:49):
He's never once said.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
I mean, it's it's funny for me to be like,
you know, for once, I'm getting I always I take
care of everybody, but I take care of myself like first,
like yeah, so this to me is like hey, man,
like fucking I don't expect like I'm not out trying
to buy a Lamborghini, you know what, fucking Ferrari or

(17:13):
something like that, like some six figure fucking car or
maybe million dollar car. I'm like, can we get this
fucking giant Bullwinkle statue? Which update found out it's not
from the sixties. It was made for the release of
the movie in two thousand, so it's old but still
eight feet though. It's fucking gorgeous and it looks like

(17:35):
and it's my favorite rendition of Bullwinkle version of Bowinkle.

Speaker 2 (17:40):
It almost seems like you're like there's a goal with
the with the Bullwinkle collecting, like like you're trying to
curate I mean, you are like a museum. It feels
like there's a there's purpose and intent behind it. It
doesn't seems frivolous.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (18:00):
It seems it seems like you're working towards a goal.

Speaker 1 (18:04):
What could be less, what could be more friendless, rather
than like, uh, this is my cartoon Moss and screen.
But it doesn't seem that.

Speaker 2 (18:16):
It really feels as though, it really feels as though
there is intent behind it.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah, the intent is like I want it all, I
missed it. I don't know. I honestly don't know what
it is. It's crazy and it's not a matter of
like I didn't have this shit when I was a kid.
I wasn't even into like Bowwinkle when I was a kid,
So it's not like my lost youth I'm trying to rebut.

Speaker 2 (18:38):
Interesting, like if you were to see, if those listening
were to see what the collection looks like and how
big it is, it's truly shocking that you only started
a couple months ago. It seems like there's something, there's
something going on.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
It was like, my dad's been collecting the ship since
he was a baby. Somebody gave him this when he
was a child, and blah, blah blah. No, I just
ever since the fire, to the point where Carol was like,
please stop. So I've certainly had to slow down and stuff.
But all that bowlingkle stuff triple quadruple what I paid

(19:15):
for it. If you're like, I mean, I put more
picture of that up on Instagram. You put that in
the fucking catalog, man, because there's a catalog comes along
with an auction.

Speaker 2 (19:24):
What after you die?

Speaker 1 (19:27):
Yeah, somebody comes in fucking prices that you get old
Mike van eating over Vanning Galleries and shit. I'll probably
throw you a Disney poster in a process. Sorry for
your loss. But somebody comes in prices everything and shit
and then sells all the contents of the heck. I'm
just saying, I think not mom stuff. She's still alive.

(19:51):
She might have something to say about it. Right.

Speaker 2 (19:53):
I think when you pass, I will be thinking about
other things than an auction. Why because it will be
the worst time of my life.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
What a great distraction. You're like, I got business to do.
I ain't got time for the tears, man. I've got
to do what my father said. He said it on
the show. He wants me to do this.

Speaker 2 (20:13):
I appreciate how you're thinking about setting me up for
success after your.

Speaker 1 (20:19):
Not so much success. That's up to you, but it's
like setting you up going like, don't work. That's for suckers.
Live off of this shit, man, because something good's got
to come from my death. And if you made a
lot of money off it, that'd be.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Hot, all right, you know what?

Speaker 1 (20:35):
And I don't mean in that way of like those
sad movies where it's like, so I hired somebody to
kill me so you could have the insurance money. I
mean like when I'm dead and I've lived my happy,
long life and shit, just you know, fucking see that
trophy right there, the Jack Benny Award they only gave out,
like there's only like thirty of them giving out that one,
says Kevin smithbout someone will fucking pay for that. That's

(20:55):
five hundred bucks pace for some gas some T shirts
pace for T shirt right there? All right? I heard.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Heard loud.

Speaker 1 (21:08):
As you look at the trophy and you're like, put
my father, you could be like, would we want me
to have this new T shirt? This was from the nineties.

Speaker 2 (21:21):
Remember we already had our last Easter with cinnamon.

Speaker 1 (21:26):
But it's ours. We had our last easter with Cinnamon,
but the first. This is Harley's first Easter with her
new bunny has Bills. The rest of Bill's fur molted
off almost He's still wearing a little suit.

Speaker 2 (21:43):
He still has some weird pants.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
On helped him along with that.

Speaker 2 (21:46):
I try, I really try. I did Austin and I
did help him through the process. But now he's uh,
it's gotten to an area he won't let us touch
his butt.

Speaker 1 (21:59):
It is gonna have once a year. Yep. Really, it's
not just like, oh, I'm in puberty now. Yeah. Cinnamon
never did this. Simon's laughing at you.

Speaker 2 (22:10):
Simon sent Bill one percent. Was like, here's a funny joke.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
She's like, remember all the things I was he was not.
Cinnamon was like, miss me, I know you miss me,
I know you miss me. Blah.

Speaker 2 (22:34):
That's exactly what she's saying.

Speaker 1 (22:35):
Do you know who sings that song? No? Are you
fucking serious?

Speaker 2 (22:39):
What is it.

Speaker 1 (22:41):
Trying to think of another song? See if you you know?
Do you they want to hear me? Do you they
want to make me cry? No? You're usually good with
the eighties music and ship. There's a whole you gotta
line spotier kid. Those are two massive jams. Let me

(23:02):
think of another one. Um comic coma coma coma comic
comel come in go that guy you're getting it was
indeed that guy? U That guy has a name.

Speaker 2 (23:24):
You know he was in a band too, is it
boy George?

Speaker 6 (23:27):
That guy's name is indeed boy George. If you name
the band for twenty thousand dollars, name the band that
boy George was the lead singer.

Speaker 2 (23:39):
Uh fuck, I know, I know it's it's real obvious.

Speaker 1 (23:43):
But i'm Would you like to phone a friend? Yeah?
For hint? Okay, we're calling your dad.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Hello, Hey, could I get some help?

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Sorry? Who is this? It's your daughter? Oh, Harley, it
didn't sound like her. What do you need help with?
Who's bothering you? Now? You are? Oh? Well, we call
me dad. She's doing it again. She called me up.
Just blame me for shit. I think she wants to
talk to you. Keep going, how do you get me

(24:19):
to their course? And go? Just sketch going, bitch, I'm sitting.
We ain't up with the bit fuck commit commit so
busy singing? You forgot how to commit to the performance.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
My mind is reeling. I'm trying to figure.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
It out anyway, What can I do for you?

Speaker 2 (24:37):
Well, Dad, yeah, I have a question.

Speaker 1 (24:39):
Okay, why do you sound weird? Where are you? Are
you in traffic? It sounds echoey? Why are people laughing?
Are people laughing at you? Sounds up? Bitches? Do I
got to put up another TikTok, another TikTok, a TikTok,
Like it's got the most TikTok hits I've ever had
on something is a video where somebody may some comments

(25:00):
about you, and I was like, hey, fukoh, And I
went back and I'm pretty hard. What never you never
saw it?

Speaker 2 (25:07):
No?

Speaker 1 (25:10):
I mean it's not that it's like it's a standard ass.
Oh god, no, this goes back. Let me see. Let's see.
It was.

Speaker 6 (25:24):
Mm hmmm.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
Two point two.

Speaker 3 (25:33):
Ult Oh that's very nice.

Speaker 1 (25:47):
But it was off. Some dudes comment and like I
put up something.

Speaker 2 (25:50):
The comment you don't want to say.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
It's the same man, random. But the crazy thing is
like like he was like he said shit about you,
like me putting you in stuff, And I fucking like,
you know, it's so easy to fucking click on their
their own accounts and then see him like one of

(26:15):
the first things I see is him going like, my
daughter means the world to me, and so wow, I
fucking use his comment to be like, you know, it's
that question answer mode thing so you can click on
a question and just answer. So it was a response
to that where I wasn't like you're a piece of shit,
but I was like, hey, man, this this guy went
after me for fucking putting my daughter in things, even

(26:36):
though he fucking like puts like he fucking said nice
things about his daughter, and why would he you know,
we all love our daughters, So hey, fuck what guy?
That guy instantly shut down his account and ran. I mean,
he abandoned like the Internet as a whole. And it

(26:56):
wasn't my intent. I was like, oh, fucking child this guy.
And I didn't set any bunny on him and shit,
but like it was just I mean it in my
head and heart, I'm like, oh, maybe I reached him,
you know what I'm saying, Like maybe the dude was like,
you know, what the fuck am I doing? I got
a daughter. I'm attacking a guy wh's got a daughter
for what what's the reason? Fuck this? And maybe he

(27:17):
turned over a new leaf. Whatever he did, he fucking
killed his account instantly, and shit, damn, two point two
million views on it. Honestly is the highest fucking viewed
thing I have on fucking TikTok. Maybe the perfect length,
maybe like oh look at him fucking defending and shit
like that.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
It's very sweet, sat thank you.

Speaker 1 (27:36):
Fuck that guy like fucking it. Like I just I
just don't understand what did I see yesterday? So depressing, Well,
it wasn't depressing. Made me happy, but it was depressing
that I had to exist, Like I guess Selena Gomez
put up some fucking picture and I guess a bunch
of fucking Neanderthal's comment shit. But somebody took their comments

(27:58):
and they're horrendous. But then they took screenshots of the
person making the comment, and it's like, who the fuck
do you think you are? Bro, Like look at you, like,
oh my god, this is like there's no fucking rommere
like this. Oh you freak. And then you realize that

(28:22):
like that's as good as their day is gonna get
is trying to bring somebody else's day down, And that,
my friends, is the state of the entire fucking country.
How we wound up where we are right now because
everybody's just like allowed to express their rage and shit

(28:43):
for no good reason. Why is everyone so upset? And
I think you're fucking upset at the wrong fucking people.

Speaker 2 (28:50):
I'm gonna have a panic at talk if you don't
say what band.

Speaker 1 (28:53):
Boy George is in? Are you still fucking lingering on this.

Speaker 2 (28:57):
Whole last time? I'm like, what the fuck is it?

Speaker 1 (29:02):
Give me a hit?

Speaker 2 (29:02):
What does it start with?

Speaker 1 (29:03):
I'm sorry that you're not in the club.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Oh oh, what is the fuck?

Speaker 1 (29:12):
Fuck? Time won't give me time and time makes love
speel and they got something real because you and me
we know you got nothing but time. Time won't give

(29:32):
me time. I cannot give made time in a million years.
I could never have put together the sentence you were
going to say about panic attack or whatever. The fuck.
I thought you're gonna be like, stop talking about this ship,
but instead you were like, what's the name of the band?

Speaker 2 (29:48):
Because it's been eating at my soul.

Speaker 3 (29:54):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (29:57):
It's not the Mickey Mouse Club. You know it's not
the Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (30:01):
I know what club is it?

Speaker 1 (30:04):
What club is it?

Speaker 2 (30:05):
Tell me?

Speaker 1 (30:06):
What do you need to know? Do you want me
to tell you?

Speaker 2 (30:08):
I don't think I can remember, Well.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
Then you're notice cultured. Oh I was.

Speaker 2 (30:17):
Eating at my soul. Yes, I was so bothered. I
could not remember.

Speaker 1 (30:22):
Culture Club is the name of that band. But it
seems like you. Three of their four four songs I crooned,
albeit badly, did not seem to register with you.

Speaker 2 (30:34):
I don't really listen to pop.

Speaker 1 (30:37):
Bro, you were raised down eighties pop.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
Yeah, I know that.

Speaker 1 (30:41):
Actually that is yeah, that's why I don't track. I'm sorry,
are you really Harley Quit? My name is Kevin Smith.
Who are you? And where's my daughter? Well? Are you
one of them pod fuckers? Not pod fucker like a
pot but a pod person? I just didn't want that
pod person a. What did you ever see they and
the Body Snatchers? Oh? Yeah, to catch your little notebook

(31:02):
and write down another thing that you got to watch
the player? You saw the player? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Oh no, I've seen Invasion of the Body Snatch.

Speaker 1 (31:13):
Which one because there are multiple? I guess the original
one black and white one? No, okay, that's the original.
So the second one has Donald Subtleman in it, and
people are like, that's when you saw? Yeah, it's terrifying.

(31:35):
Is directed by Philip Kaufman. The director of You're never
gonna get this, so I'll just tell you the right stuff.
Have you ever seen the right stuff? No? They said
there was a demon in the air. It's about you
know what I should watch?

Speaker 2 (31:48):
How does your brain hold so much information?

Speaker 1 (31:51):
Useless information, that's the key. Useless information doesn't take up
a lot of space.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
Well, that brings us perfectly flowers.

Speaker 1 (32:05):
Kids, What is this?

Speaker 2 (32:07):
This is called that's so nineties.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
That's so nineties.

Speaker 2 (32:11):
It's nineties trivia.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
We have.

Speaker 2 (32:15):
We have a pop culture section. I did us a
favor and I removed the sports section, and thank Christ.
So I have left pop culture, TV, music, movies, and
then a category called who said or sang that? Would

(32:36):
you like to choose a category?

Speaker 1 (32:37):
Now you pick?

Speaker 2 (32:38):
Okay, let's see.

Speaker 1 (32:42):
Do you hear the outside? There's a little bit hi coyotes.

Speaker 2 (32:48):
I saw one the other day.

Speaker 1 (32:49):
It was so cute. They're cute. Birdie, here fire away.
You may have had.

Speaker 2 (33:00):
Oh here we are here we are Ben Affleck dated
which one of his Shakespeare in Love co stars.

Speaker 1 (33:08):
That would be Joe Joe Findes. No, I'm kidding, GWth
Joe Findes played Shakespeare. That is Gwyneth Paltrow who I
went out to lunch with both of them at the
Time Cafe in New York City. I wonder if the
Time Cafe still exists, hm hmm. And she was a

(33:28):
voice because we were doing the Clerks Cartoon around there,
so she did a voice on the Clerk's cartoon.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Oh really.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
And then when we were sitting there, I was like,
they served me some eggs that were kind of running.
I was like, what is this goop? And she was
like goop. Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (33:51):
It was crazy.

Speaker 2 (33:52):
It was crazy, crazy guy.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
AnyWho, next question?

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Now, you asked me one only from the music section.
Why this is a this is a game?

Speaker 1 (34:05):
You asking me ship?

Speaker 2 (34:07):
This is a two way street?

Speaker 1 (34:08):
Bo is? Right? All right? Here we're going You're not
going to get any of these? Should I pick ones?
I think you might get?

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (34:15):
Exactly what Sea Creature features on the album cover for
the Fat of the Land by Prodigy Clulu. Where's the
answer on the back?

Speaker 2 (34:34):
No?

Speaker 1 (34:37):
You know this? You thought this was one.

Speaker 4 (34:39):
I know.

Speaker 1 (34:41):
You said music, that's music. It's a crab. I wouldn't
even that was not a No. Which radio Head album
kid A or Okay Computer was released in the hindies okay, computer,

(35:02):
well done, you got it with Which song did Mark
Harry hold the number one spot in the US for
eight weeks in nineteen ninety three? Ninety three? So this
is a year before it's the year I make clerk.

(35:24):
I'm going to guess vision of Love. But maybe it's
that fucking Christmas song. Maybe she was already singing that
Christmas song by that point.

Speaker 4 (35:29):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (35:30):
I can't say. I know.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
I know this one, dream Lover. What a bunch of
assholes we are? I know, come on, never fucking would
have thought dream way.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
More up on our Mariah Carrey.

Speaker 1 (35:41):
Uh to finish the card? What was the title MC
hammers Tight nineteen ninety one album.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
You know what, I'm not going to know that.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
Title track too legit, too legit to quit? Hey, hey
too legit legitimate? Hi? Yi, that was good, thank you.

Speaker 2 (36:04):
What was the answer to legit? Qu You were like.

Speaker 1 (36:14):
Okay, yes, okay, okay, here we go.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
What was the surname of Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

Speaker 1 (36:28):
I know Sabrina. I didn't watch that show, but I
do know the comics, and I just wroteche which I
proof read today against the art and it's wonderful. The
drawings of Harley done in the Archie style because I

(36:50):
included the character. Really yeah, it's and they drew her
like it's crazy how they nailed you.

Speaker 4 (36:57):
It's so cool.

Speaker 1 (36:58):
Put that ship on your face? What is it called?
What that ship? What's it called?

Speaker 2 (37:05):
You pitch some mole?

Speaker 1 (37:07):
Asshole? I used to have one. I think you have
a bump. Where is it like you? Yeah, you have
that's why. Like when I seen it for the first
time when you were little, I was like, Oh, that's
fucked up for me.

Speaker 2 (37:19):
Jennifer color, Yeah, yours isn't a different color though, minus yours.

Speaker 1 (37:25):
Yours is like, yeah, yours is better than mine because
mine's just some fucking discolored, blotchy ship. Yours is like
Happy Birthday, yeath day. You could only see his face
right and you can go to Kevin Smith club dot

(37:47):
com right now and join up to what you're the
stick with me and now back to the show. Happy
How do you know about that? I mean, I know
you're like, I don't live in a hole. I know, yeah,
but you live in you don't live in the culture club.
We've now found you know what.

Speaker 2 (38:06):
I have a blind spot first for mail eighties pop.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Why would you know that? Like, did they study that
in school? The like one time a movie stars sang
to the President of the United States. I don't what
did you see it in a movie?

Speaker 2 (38:21):
I feel like I've read some books on that era,
did you Yeah.

Speaker 1 (38:26):
Very flat out read or like skimmed to the chapters
you like.

Speaker 2 (38:30):
No, I've actually believe it or not?

Speaker 1 (38:32):
So you know some shit about Marilyn Monroe.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
Yeah, and I've seen I've seen My Week with Marilyn.
What's that the movie was, isn't that Michelle Williams.

Speaker 1 (38:43):
Yeah? Did you see the other Marylyn movie, The Scout?
I did not. There was also there was one I
really liked from years ago that had Mirror Servino and
Ashley Judd. Nashley Judd played Norma Jean Baker and mire
Servino played Maryland.

Speaker 2 (38:59):
Well, really that is cool because you know.

Speaker 1 (39:03):
The idea is like they couldn't have been more different.

Speaker 2 (39:07):
Well, that's really interesting.

Speaker 1 (39:09):
I like that. I forget what it was called Normagy
and marilynd maybe or something. I think it was maybe
an HBO movie. I did not see the Anna da
Armis movie because I'd heard it was very I did
not see that rough. Yeah, I'm not. Yeah, it's happy story.

Speaker 2 (39:24):
No, it's it's so sad. It's so sad.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
How did we get here?

Speaker 2 (39:31):
My face? Yes? Anyways, who said or sang that hit
me baby? One more time?

Speaker 1 (39:46):
Writney Spears correct, never write.

Speaker 2 (39:49):
On your friends and always keep your mouth shut.

Speaker 1 (39:52):
That who said it?

Speaker 2 (39:55):
It said or sang? It's not all songs. This is
obviously not song.

Speaker 1 (40:00):
Wait, so you want me to say who said it?
Who said it? Where did it come from?

Speaker 2 (40:04):
Both who said it?

Speaker 1 (40:06):
Say the exact line again. Robert de Niro playing Jimmy and.

Speaker 2 (40:10):
Goodfellas, Yes, Jimmy Conway and Goodfellows. I'm the dude, so
that's what you call me. So it's the character who
said it?

Speaker 1 (40:23):
And oh fucking duh big Lebowski and that would be
the dude, Yes, Jeff Lebowski.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
As if.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
That would be uh share as played by Alsia Silverstone
and Clueless.

Speaker 2 (40:43):
Killing I never want to hear you say I want
it that way?

Speaker 1 (40:49):
That would be the Backstreet Boys.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
The answer card says the swoon worthy Backstreet Boys. They've
added some commentary. Yeah, as for that, you killed that card,
you killed that card.

Speaker 1 (41:02):
I will take you to the next music card. And
see how you do don't look at the back, don't
try to around the world is the hit record by
which dope DJ.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Duo around the world?

Speaker 1 (41:20):
I can't say DJ duo? How many of those you know? Not? Okay?
The ones you do know? Tgduo, you don't even have
to see their faces.

Speaker 2 (41:39):
I know that was a hint, but she was.

Speaker 1 (41:41):
And if you're watching that Kevin Smift Club version of
beardlesstick with me see me making eyes like that's a
dead giveaway. I don't know. Uh.

Speaker 2 (41:54):
Daft punk, Oh, daft punk started in the nine.

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yes, isn't all non dis trivia? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (42:04):
I wouldn't have thought about that.

Speaker 1 (42:06):
From what Green Day album does the song a basket
Case come from?

Speaker 2 (42:11):
That would be Dukie?

Speaker 1 (42:13):
I did it all for the Dukie? What the Dukie face?
Show on your face? Which band had a worldwide hit
with Don't Speak No Doubt? I tried to say it
in a way that wouldn't give it away. Don't speak
same thing now I've gone religious? Which best selling American

(42:41):
artists originally came to fame through the slamming boy band
known as Zincu justin Timberly. That's right, man, that's right.
He's be brought sexy back. Then they took it the
funk away for real. The nineteen ninety eight hit Iris

(43:05):
by the Goo Goo Dolls was a soundtrack to which movie.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
I have no idea.

Speaker 1 (43:13):
I don't want the word to see me because I
don't think that they understand.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
That's what the song is.

Speaker 1 (43:23):
Everything's made to be broken. I just want, you know,
maybe that song is Iris really Goo Goo Dolls, And
it was featured. It was the single from a movie
that that made a lot of money. This movie was
an American remake of a German film. Oh and the

(43:47):
original German film is incredibly important to me because it
shapes Dogma there. You're never gonna get this. There was
a German film from years ago by Vim Vendors called
Wings of Desire and it was about angels walking around

(44:09):
Berlin and shit and fucking this. One angel who wants
to not be an angel or more and be a human.
By the end of the movie becomes a human. There's
a sequel called The Far Away So Close, where his
friend Kazio the angel Casio also like then follow suit
becomes human. But it's a beautiful movie where like you know,

(44:30):
they can hear like our thoughts. So people will walk
by and you just hear their internal monologue and fucking
like the angels just watch and stuff like that. Really
beautiful flick. So they did an American remake and it
was called City of Angels.

Speaker 2 (44:53):
It was a long journey to get to that answer,
but there it is.

Speaker 1 (44:57):
I can't I watched City of Angels once. Nick Cage
plays the angel. This time around it was played by
was it Bruno Ganz? In the original, he's the guy.
Have you've ever watched one of those Downfall memes where
they take the scene from the movie Downfall about like

(45:20):
Hitler and the Bunker and he's surrounded by his generals
and they it's all in German, so unless you speak
Jeremy can't understand it. But what people have done for
years since this movie came out on the internet is
they take the scene and they put American subtitles over
it that have anything to do with any current situation.
So in the scene, his generals are telling him that

(45:42):
they've lost this, this, this, and this, and then Hitler's like, well,
we'll be all right because we have this, and then
they're like we lost that too, and then he's like
everybody who's not These people get out of the room
and then everyone leaves and shit, and then he's like dude,
and he like launches and it's screaming and fucking like
German and Ship. It's like a over the top, huge performance.

(46:05):
It was like this smin and everyone's like reacting wide
it and Ship. So but it's just I mean, it's
in the original movie. It's like powerful as fuck, but
it's been repurposed on the Internet to like make gazillion
jokes where it's like Hitler weighs in on and they

(46:26):
did one about me years ago where it was like, uh,
what was it? Ben Affleck finds out that Kevin Smith
is making Jaysun a Bob reboot without him like that
I've been like done a few times and Ship, but
it's so fucking fantastic. But that guy played the Angel

(46:48):
as well. He played a brilliant Hitler. I think he
got awards for it if I remember correctly. He's a
wonderful German actor. And Ship Wings Desire excellent film. Then
Bender's great filmmaker. City of Angels. I can't I can't,
honestly can't remember much other than that song and Nick

(47:09):
Cage and Meg Ryan was the female. Wow, but also.

Speaker 2 (47:13):
About Angels already.

Speaker 1 (47:16):
Made a lot more money than our movie about Angels.

Speaker 2 (47:18):
I'll tell you what, well, your movie about Angels is
about to make some more money, So go to dog.

Speaker 1 (47:26):
They ain't getting no twenty five anniversary re release. City
Angels as I think it, I guess it took place
in La hence the name City of Angels.

Speaker 2 (47:37):
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 (47:38):
I would check out the original took place in the
Baillian Aliens. They use that song in the recent movie Companion,
which fucking great fun movie.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
I still have to see it.

Speaker 1 (47:53):
Clever script, ask away, little girl.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Everyone knows the first and second rules about fight club,
but how about the eighth and final rule.

Speaker 1 (48:11):
If this is your first night at fight club, you fight,
you have to fight. Yeah?

Speaker 2 (48:17):
Wow, good job, thank you. That was impressive.

Speaker 1 (48:21):
I saw that in the theater with you.

Speaker 2 (48:24):
I know.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
That was my first film movie was Fight Club. Me
and Jen and Malcolm took car lit to see Fight
Club and Harley was in a bassinet and she slept
like a baby the whole time, never made a noise.
But at the end of the movie, as we were
getting up the two fifty year old to sixty year
old women in front of us were like, you can't

(48:45):
bring a baby to a movie like this. I was like, baby,
didn't make a noise. She's like that doesn't matter, that's irresponsible.
I was like, she slept to the whole thing. And
Jennifer was like, ignore them.

Speaker 2 (49:00):
I think it's pretty iconic that my first film was
Fight Club.

Speaker 1 (49:03):
No doubt, man, I mean, look, first movie is a Fincher,
can't be that. Thank God, your first movie wasn't a
Kevin Smith picture.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
Hey, now, don't be self deprecating. Which, No, that one's
too easy? Well Which nineteen It's really nice.

Speaker 1 (49:22):
Same from Tap It's very nice, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (49:24):
Good, which nineteen ninety nine horror movie was filmed in
the style of a documentary using a handheld camera.

Speaker 1 (49:30):
Nineteen ninety nine, the same year as Dogma, It also
went to can They had a massive party on the
beach with a blow up version of the stick figure
popularized in the movie known as.

Speaker 2 (49:44):
Which Project.

Speaker 1 (49:46):
That movie that sounds like at that was the beginning
of the found footage genre. Blumhouse Pictures exists because of
that movie, not because they put it out, is because
Jason Bloom was like, oh shit, this and that's what
they built an empire doing versions of Blair Witch Project.

Speaker 2 (50:06):
I remember the first time you showed me Blair Witch Project.
I was probably way too young yet, my my.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
I don't remember that as much as I do remember
showing it to your mother.

Speaker 2 (50:21):
John, your memories mean a lot to you.

Speaker 1 (50:24):
No, but it's hers was. When you hear the story,
I'll be like, oh, yeah, like that wind. We barely
knew each other. You weren't born yet. So let me see.
She had just moved out to Jersey. Well, we were
in the Ocean Porthouse, so she was pregnant, and we

(50:45):
got to the Ocean Courthouse by the end of the year, yes,
because Thanksgiving we spent with Bob Hawk and she came
out in July. So by the time the holidays rolled
around Nove of ninety eight, we were already in the
Ocean Courthouse, which you came home to after you were born.

(51:08):
So it's January, and the Sundance Film Festival is happening.
Is now January of ninety nine. Me and this girl
I barely know, you know, I haven't even known.

Speaker 2 (51:24):
It for a year at this point, right, but yet
is carrying your child to continue?

Speaker 1 (51:28):
We are in bed and I'm falling asleep and she's like,
what do you wanta watch? And I was like, she goes,
what's this. There's a tape BHS tape of the blair
Witch Project that John Pearson had sent me. John Pearson
was the producer's rap on Clerks. He also worked with

(51:48):
Eduardo and Dan who had made The blair Witch Project
and stuff, so he got like an early copy of
it and it was playing at Sundance now. John Pearson
had worked with the boys made blair Witch because he
had a TV show called split Screen and they started
featuring the blair Witch Project on split Screen. So John
was hip to it, Wayne Advance, and I too was

(52:09):
hip to it. Wayne Advanced because John and John told
me like, this movie makes you think like it's real,
he's gone, but it's not. It was a hoax movie.
We didn't have the terminology for found footage movie. It
was just like, it's a hoax movie. It's like the
whole thing's made up. So I knew that your mother did,

(52:29):
so she's like, what is this. I was like, this
is a movie that's playing Sundays right now, has got
all the heat in the world. She's like, really, I
was like, everybody's talking about it's going to sell for
a lot of money, and stuff goes should we watch it?
And I was like, yeah, let's put it. So we
put it in and I fell asleep while we were
watching it. I was shaken awake, like, oh my god,

(52:51):
get up, get up, get up. And I was like, what,
what's the matter of your rights baby whatever? She's like, no,
what's going on? What's going on? This boy is in
the he's steering at the wall. Well, I won't anyone
help them? And I was like, what do you what
are you talking about? She's like, this is that boy?
I want anyone help him. I don't understand. And I
was like, this is fucking happening. This is a movie.
She goes, no, it is, it is real. I was like, no,

(53:12):
this is all made up. I fucking swear to you.
Because she's like, no, no, this can't be this is happening.
Why won't anyone help him? And I was like, I'm
telling you right now, John Pearson sent me this movie.
It's fiction, is supposed to feel real, but it's like
a mockumentary, but it's in horror movie and shit, she
goes boom, You're lying, and I was like, give me
one second. And I called up John Pearson in the

(53:34):
middle of Oh my God, Sun Dance and Shit, and
I was like, hey man, I'm sorry. Can you buck
and tell Jennifer that The Blair Witch Project is a
fake movie? And I was like, here because I'm half
asleep and I don't hear him, but all I hear
is her, And she goes, John, why won't anyone help him?

(53:56):
What do you mean? No, you're just saying, but why
I won't. She was so fixated on why people wouldn't
tell these kids, but that movie work.

Speaker 2 (54:08):
It's like the camera crew was she thought it.

Speaker 1 (54:10):
Was like happening in real time or something like that.
Or she was just like why are we watched? She
felt like dirty watching it because she's like, this is
fucked up, Like something happened to these kids. That boy's
face in the wall, like what's going on? Why are
you sleeping? Wake up? We gotta call the cops. That
movie works like crazy on it.

Speaker 2 (54:30):
What a what a I'm so jealous. What a time
to be alive in a world where you're watching a
found footage movie for the first time, not knowing that
it's a genre that exists.

Speaker 1 (54:41):
Now you have a lot of firsts.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Man, you're even fucking lucky. My life is not as
interesting is The first are much more horrifying, and the.

Speaker 1 (54:51):
Highs are non existent, but the lows are even lower.
And with that, that's how we end this week's episode
of Beardless Dickless Me. Something you want? Do you want
to hear us continue doing trivia? Well, follow us over
to Beardless stickless plus True. There it is. That's marketing
right there over at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Yes,

(55:14):
there's a paywall, but it's worth paying. Speaking of pay
where can I get one of them sweet Dickla shirts?

Speaker 2 (55:22):
Well, thank you for asking that, Beard liisticklessme dot com.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Do you put it up in your Instagram stories every day?
Because if not, you're doing it wrong. Takes you two
seconds in the morning and be like put this up boo,
and then you sew a shirt and then it was
worth your time. Take a page out of this guy's book.

Speaker 2 (55:39):
I went to clip shirts. I don't know if I
need everyone to remind I don't need to remind everyone
every day that I get up every day.

Speaker 1 (55:48):
And I gotta sell Kevin smith ship every day. I
gotta sling this Kevin Smith shit every damn day. I
gotta sell it like I believe in it, Like oh yeah,
look at this movie. It's different than all either movies
that game before. Oh my god, reinvention, that's what it's
all about. But no, really, what it's all about is
fucking selling this talk that you got that's true when

(56:11):
and also before we got out of here. You know what,
I'll say that for the next show, do you hear showing? Yeah? Yeah,
I'll ask you on the next show and next show,
remember will be president. In the past, the features the past.
The past is the feature. In the futures, the past
is a feature because I'll be going on tour Dogma

(56:35):
the Resurrection. Tour is happening from April twentieth for twenty
to May thirtieth or something twentieth, I forget. The last
date is in Burbank. There are twenty dates total. Come
out and see the movie with me. There's some tickets
left to the second shows and stuff, but mostly everything
is selling out or sold out, and then it's in

(56:56):
theaters everywhere. You don't even have to see it with
me on June fifth, man. Ah, so next time you
hear us talking, it'll be something. Just the future in
the future is the past present. So if like you're like,
oh my god, I just read it on TikTok that
fucking silent God died and you hear my voice, you'll know.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
Why I hate this.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
I'm a living goost. Just remember, future is the past,
the past, future in the future. I'm telling you, man,
there's a movie to be made where I do like
quote unquote diet but you bring me back from the
other side by chanting that over and over again, where
you're like, the future is the past and the past
and the future. The future is the past and best

(57:45):
and that just takes you to places and time and ship.
But sometimes it takes you to like fucking horrible places
like fucking revolutionary war, my fucker statutes, and you're like, ah,
the future some red coat coming at you ship like
the future of the future American? OI what they call it?

(58:11):
Did they call us Americans at that point? I mean, look,
nobody alive can tell me there was the correct response
having been there, but somebody must know. I wonder what
they call this like in because we call them like
red coats. That wasn't their real name. Right, that's just
because they literally, I mean, the least inventive fucking name
on the planet. What do you call these motherfuckers? We

(58:34):
call them red coats? Why what's that about the douchebags?
Now they wear red coats? Let me call you hat?
You know what? Speaking of hat, it's up floating the
show last week? Noticed I looked like a real fucking
dick my hair sticking out. No ship man, I had

(58:57):
a hair plume sticking out of my head.

Speaker 3 (59:01):
You know what.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
I've offered you my little stick in my purse.

Speaker 1 (59:07):
Well, then you should give it to me the start
of every show, Okay, before the next year, or if
you see it creeping out.

Speaker 2 (59:15):
Sometimes I'm not noticing, how do you not? Sometimes I'm
I'm focusing on the conversationally judging your appearance.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
All right, I'm kids. Have you had a good time
listening to a girl and her dad? There it is.
There's your vegan apertua for this week, you know, for
beardless dickless me.

Speaker 2 (59:43):
I'm Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 1 (59:45):
You have a beardless dickless day. This has been a
podcast production, some podcast podcasts using our mouths on you
since two thousand and seven, Hey kids, did you like

(01:00:09):
what you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons
more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you
at that Kevinsmithclub dot com. Go sign up now,