September 12, 2024 • 46 mins
Matriarch Momily gets her heart re-started. Kevin reveals talk show secrets. Harley is haunted by the Bermuda Triangle and agog over Satan’s secret origin.
Plus: The Infant of Prague vs The Children of Fatima!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:24):
Hey, you get to one.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Honey, Oh my lord, mother, how are you? Me and
Harley are recording our podcast right now? Dimma? What Mom?
Tell Harley what you told me the other day when
you went to the hospital. What happened she had that procedure.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh yeah, what happened was I wasn't aware of the
whole thing. Good already had arranged it on Good Friday,
and I said to Bold days.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Right, Good Friday for those who don't follow this year closely,
is the day Jesus died.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, And he set the thing up with the doctor
that I would go to sleep a little bit. But
while I was there, he stopped my heart and restarted it,
trying to get my a fifth down from racing so
much and taking away from my heart. So I was
(01:20):
not aware of it, was thank goodness, but he did
stop it and restarted. In Virginia and Donald were outside,
and he went out and talked to him right away
and said, your mother's strong. You know, you never know
let anything get down.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But wait, I'm going to step you back to like
you weren't aware that this was coming, and just I
mean I knew you knew that eventually it was going.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
To happen, but didn't know what was happening that day.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You didn't. You weren't aware when you went in that
that was what was going to happen that day.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Uh No. A couple of minutes before I looked on
the a writing board, Donald does me for the doctor's
appointments and I said, why am I going on good Friday? Kevind?
I said, that's kind of crazy to me. And he said, well,
doctor's going to do that procedure and he has the time.
And I said what procedure? And he said, you know
(02:10):
that one mon where you go to sleep and then
they wake you up again.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I said really, now, I had wow, do you remember
any of it? They'd put you out right, They give
you drugs.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
To put you out. So I went to the cap
lab and they got me all ready up and everything
like that, and then I said, okay, I guess go
to sleep. So what they have to do is go
down your throat with a camera that's white. The throat
hurts of you. So I said, okay, Doc, are you
ready for that? He said, oh, you're always ready. Grace.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
You know this casual motherfucker who's stopping my mother's heart,
it's like, oh great, she'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh yeah, my god. So you know, so we joked
around a little and I said, okay, good night, guys.
I'm going to sleep. So that's what I did, and
that's how he did it. Right away, that was said.
It wasn't even a minute. It was stopped and restarted.
So he's trying to get the A five to slow
down so it don't keep raising my heart, you know,
(03:14):
which I agree. I agree when I'm go ahead, we're
moving right along. And we went in to see the
doctor on Friday, was gone and he comes in and
sits down and sold dog every time you sit down
to mean something, he said. He said, I just looked
at your ekg they took for me when he came in.
I said, yeah, I told me you don't want to
see the difference. And he said, you know, he's got
(03:35):
a little improvement there. I'm glad about that. She's taken
pretty good in help. So that's that's a good that's
a plus.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
You know, Yeah, that's amazing news.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah. So uh, I said, well that's fun. I'm probably
first on my life. I had it stopped and starting. Well,
I was sleeping, so that's okay, but uh, i'de lucky,
not my own spirits.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You know, lord, Mom, You're you're an ongoing adventure always.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I know. I can't wait to see what we got next.
Plan for me?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Right? Only two times, only good times.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Yeah, only good times. Over there. I said to Virginia,
I want to ride a horse, and she goes, oh, mother,
you're kidding, aren't you. I said, you kind of, but
I still would like to try it. She said, you can't.
You gotta wait until you're all settled with your heart
and everything. I said, okay, So she got me three horses.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Now, Oh yes, yes, I have beauty.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
That's the mummy I had bow over separated from Judy.
So no Shenanigans, that's the beauty.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
You never want your toys. Fucking Mom always said that
to me when I was a child. Tiger, you got
to keep them separating.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Oh yeah, saying father. And then we have Baden on
the blue chair behind her mother being protected. I have
all three of them and Donalds, Virginia, will you stop
buying her these big things for the house.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Whatever makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, and also beats you trying to get up on
a real ass horse.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So true.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh my God, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
All fun And then you saw have you seen that picture?
I gotta taken and sent to you. Virginia had it
done on a block at CBS. For me, it's like
a block, it's really light. But it's a picture of
Aunt Virginia holding me on the reeling of the Telehaestree house.
Right was green years old, and you kid, I mean
(05:38):
really cute. It's so funny that Emergy has got a
hat on, because those are the days that wore hats.
You know, she's fifteen years older than me, so that picture.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
She at least never mind her, she's she's like, you know,
just scenery. It's the baby in the picture that fucking shines.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh my god, it's so adorable. Can't I didn't think
I was that cute.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
You're always the cutest.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, you're still remain.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Cute, man, You're still just that cute.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You'd still see that little baby mammily in your face.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh my god, I can see why Grandma and Grandpa
fell in love with me and kid me.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know, it makes sense, makes sense. That's why a
parent loves a child, because they're adorable based on looks
and looks alone. That's it, and you were a looker
of a kid. You could have been a model baby,
could have done ivory, soap, bads and ship. But still no,
let's let's talk about how you've been feeling. You're actually
up and walking around.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah. I was outside tonight with coffee, tream around about
two blocks you know, in here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, she ya. She was glad to see that. I
didn't quit until I got back home.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
You know.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Wow, that's amazing, Grandma.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Excellent job. Mom.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh thank you, Harley. Ah. I miss your wonderful voice. Holly,
I miss you.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I miss you so much.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, we'll get together again, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Of course. I'm so happy that you're doing so much better.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I really do compare to list
here this time.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Better.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I'm so proud of you. You're doing amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
All right, Mom, Well we're gonna jump off. We just
wanted to check in. That's all excellent news to hear.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna wave the flame. Kid, I'm gonna
have a good session here now right.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
On, say hi to everybody, so goodbye to everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Rather, it's only just me and Her Royal Highness Princess.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
We'll kick back and joyce on ice cream. You've earned
it after the walk.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And it's good to hear me both. God bless you.
But I'm so happy to hear you. Harley.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Thanks Grandma.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I love you too, Honey. My voice isn't clear yet,
but oh no you so it's okay. Then, thank you all.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I love you, Mom, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Love you both, love you and squinching your kisses such kisses.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, good lord, thank you. I love you Mom, love
you too. Good night, love you and have a.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Great night you too, kids, kids, all right.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Okay, all right, good night.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Good night, good night, good night.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Okay, bye bye bye. Oh thanks for answering, love you, mom, bye.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So many, so many takeaways from that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Lot, a lot of lots of break down. Wow, can
you imagine they stopped your heart?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
But like she didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That's a crazy thing.
Speaker 6 (09:02):
I would want to like, well, I want to fuck
you know, But I'd also be like, I mean, the
best fucking night of my life before this, like at.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The same time took all the fred out of it.
But the thing is what I got from that was
she looked at the board and it was written on
the board. It wasn't like, you know, the information was
kept from her. It might have been information that she rediscovered.
I don't think my brother would ever be like, I'm
a sneak attack mom for that very reason. It's like,
(09:32):
oh my god, this is a big procedure. Maybe she
should you know, fucking.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Yeah, did you know?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I didn't know until after it was all done.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I fucking no.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
For I mean, I was talking the other day and
she's like, so I was at the hospital on Good
Friday and they stopped my heart and I was like why,
And you know, she went to this She told me
the same thing that she just told us. But I
was what a harrowing notion of just like going to
stop your heart and then restarted, like essentially they killed
(10:05):
her for a second or two and then brought her
back to life. That is kind of nuts, man. So
and she's had the whole I died experienced for her
heart stopped and shit and she floated. But this was
she didn't she had no recollection of it. I was like,
do you remember, do you remember like when it happened.
(10:26):
She was like I was out cold, Oh my gosh.
But meanwhile, when she died on the table. She was
also out cold years ago. So your special tiger, because
I lost one before you and one after you. I
was I guess mom like those siblings.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That as a real life mohamedly quote too.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
She lost She lost one of those, you know, she
lost one of them a miscarriage, the first one. I
think she didn't intend to, but sacrificed my older sibling,
what would have been an older sibling to a Black
Friday sale.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
She was outside a store trying to get in so
she can get a TV big line and they opened
the doors and everybody crushed in and Momily got knocked
down young Momily, you know, or maybe twenty nine year
old Momily, but got knocked down, and that probably is
how she lost. Yeah, look at you? Is that a
(11:30):
little is that a little too real for you?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I just didn't know Mommiy like that.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's fucking mom That's Momiy's fucking story, bro. Momiley's story
is a patchwork of the thrill of victory and the
agony of defeat, love and loss.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
In my adulthood, I feel like I've I've really just
found out who Momley is.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I even can fight you on that. You're absolutely right.
It has been the one of the greatest joys of
my life that you have gotten to like connect so
hardcore with Momily She's like, sometimes I don't know what
you guys are talking about, but you seem to be
having a good time.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
It's very funny.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
You literally just described podcast. But yeah, man, she yeah,
and she when she hears you talk about that, she
thinks she's funny. She was like, she gets proud and
she's so funny. She has this like moment where she
was like, I could have been a fucking comedian. I
(12:38):
could have been Joan Rivers, I could have been Roseanne
bar It could have been fucking Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop.
Oh my god, could you imagine if mom, do you
even know who Sheery Lewis and lamp is not really
quite a comedian, although she was very funny. Sherry Lewis herself, well,
I was gonna say Sherry Lewis wasn't funny. Lamb Chop was.
(12:58):
But Chop was literally WHOA about to fucking separate the two, Like,
motherfuck Jerry Lewis, Now Lamb Chop that was talent. Jerry
Lewis is like, Wow, we're connected motherfucker. When Lamb Chop talks,
I'm literally gone and she did that was like she
(13:21):
was on TV all the time when I was a kid,
and that was when you could capture child's imagination with
a fucking sock puppet.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
Not just a child, bro.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
She was on like Hollywood Squares, Sherry Lamp, Sherry Lewis,
and Lamb Chop with her hand.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Puppet, Sollywood Squares. Oh god, oh my god, what you're
an old guy?
Speaker 7 (13:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Old a game show? Do you know what the game
show is? No, Hollywood Square is like one of the
original game shows. And it was like set up like
tic tac toe and they had famous people quasi famous
people in the squares. I think they still make this like.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
The floor they're supposed on episode six this first season
right now?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Are they in a TikTok fok toe format on the
floor things? No Hollywood Squares. So it was like like
the center square was Paul Lynn, who played like he
did many things, but he was the voice of Templeton,
the rat in Charlotte's Web, so I get set his
(14:26):
c he was that he was the center square because
they would always go to him for like some fucking
risky joke, but like, well, maybe they wanted to make
up all around other Hollywood people Cero, you know a
fucking like fucking George whatever Will Wilson or whatever, fuck
(14:51):
George Wilson, of course, but you know you're two contestants
and there's a whole Peter Marshall. Don't make me tell
you my Peter Marshall story, and you know you and
are contestants, and so he'd be like, okay, hardly you
(15:13):
picked for you're the circle. You get to go first,
and so you're like, I will take Courtney Love and
then they go Courtney and the audience goes Quurtney Love
would never be on the show, but famous people. So
she'd be sitting there and she'd be like, what again,
(15:36):
don't make me over and they would be like what
parts are good for women? And she'd be like, I
don't know, doal parts? And then she's like, you know,
female parts? And then they'll be like, do you is
(15:58):
the answer female parts? And they would ask you and
you would be like, I'm going to agree with Courtney,
and then he'd read the answer and be like, it
is female parts. Circle gets the square and you've now
got a position on the board like Tic tac toe.
You get three in a row, you win the game.
(16:18):
So you use celebrities to answer these really been all questions,
and then based on their responses, they get extra zeroed,
And so you're playing I hope it's painfully clear what
this is.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I get it.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
I see the show.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Why did we bring it up? Oh, Cherry Lewis and
lamp Chop, she'd be on the show. So you're literally
talking about a woman who in that point, maybe in
her late thirties, forties and shit like that, about as
famous as Jennifer Lawrence is now, because there weren't nearly
as many famous people back then. And when you were
on TV, you were fucking super famous because you've had
(16:56):
eighty million people watching a television program. However, TV and
movie famous were very separate and different, and they rarely
crossed over, and TV was just like, it's a TV
star versus that movie star. Bruce Willis he made the
jump from TV star movie star, and so few a
few guys do it. But at any event, Sherry Lewis
(17:17):
would be there with the fucking sock on her hand
that kind of looked like a little sheep, a lamb
if you will lamb Chop and she would be fucking like.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Yeah, I think you're not give me not very smart.
She's not very smart, Peter, and the audience.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Be like your baby, they have a lighter, do it again.
It was fucking massive and it worked on many levels,
four quadrants.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
If you were a kid, you were like fucking lamb
Chop talk. If you were an adult, she was working
a little fucking double entendre risk humor, not too risky
because Cherry would keep it clean because she was first
informal child's entertainer. But it was an eight PM show,
seven PM show, so she could get a little more.
She'd get closer to the line. Built an entire career,
(18:08):
not just a career, fucking fortune off that stuffed lamb
Chop she was on. She had her own fucking television show.
At one point, sang, God, could you imagine if my
mom had been Sherry Lewis famous and worked a fucking
puppet for a living.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
That'd be awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
That puppet would have been my best friend growing up.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Wow, it really would have.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
My mom would have because I mean, if I dealt
with muppets, I was on the fucking you know, the
muppet mayhem thing. So I've seen muppets in real life.
And even though a dude was sitting there with his
hand up this muppet and he was talking and not
going to control, I'm just talking and going like this.
I didn't look at the human. I looked at the puppet. Yeah,
so I could have had like that might have been
one of my ghost siblings.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
You would have. I feel like you would have been
jealous of the puppet, you think.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
So, yeah, oh yeah, Momily is just like, where's where's uh,
where's uh? Squirrely McLean's squirreling McClean.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
We're squirreling clat.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
We're squirreling mcclan. We're squirreling McLean in the hamper.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
That's your backstory. That's what pushed you to be a filmmaker.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
There it is, people like what drove them? Oh squarely
McClean like, that's your sister. I'm like, wow, well my
mom's hand is inside squirreling mclan.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Then yes, she's like it has the soul of your
one before you.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You understand, Yeah, it could have been the one before
me or the one after me, says my mom. Mom
says you realize that mamily is squirrely McLean right Wait
what a squirreling McLean's voices? Like, holy chack, I'm trying
(19:57):
to think the voice mom can do. She'd be like
Harley Harley cool key.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Yeah, I want to see Momley Harley Hardy cool. Yes,
I can.
Speaker 7 (20:13):
Still see that.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Let's go and see momily done and done.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Here we go, just visited momay in my heart?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
How old? So I love all the grandparentleies?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah you got you got three?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Which is I've got some great grandparents?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Does Austin have any grandparents life?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Only one.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
A man or woman Grandma and grandpa Grandma? How old.
Speaker 8 (20:44):
I think that?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
She's like either late eighties or early nineties?
Speaker 8 (20:51):
Fuck?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, what what happened? Like Austin is kind of Catholic
or is Catholic? Was raised Catholic?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
He is his family is very Catholic.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
The Catholic, but like is his dad? Like it's not
just Catholic, No, his family is.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
His dad's side of the family is Mexican and Lebanesee,
So it's.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like they're very Catholic. But isn't it Jesuit or something
as well?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
No?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Wait, what the what before you react like that, do
you know, I actually don't know what it is exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
What's a jesuit. A jesuit is a hardcore fucking Catholic.
Where I'm a Catholic. Most people assume, like because of Dogma,
that I was a jesuit as well, Like what's his name?
Tom Clancy who wrote The Hunt for at October, he
(21:52):
had sent me an email. He's like, I got your
email from Ben because Ben was in the Sum of
All Fears he played Jack Ryano point and he was like,
I love dog Mine and I just have to know
what school you studied under the jesuits at because he
wrote it better than that. He's a best selling fucking
(22:12):
authors in any question with a preposition. But he was like,
I have to know, like because I could smell a jesuit.
And I always felt really proud about that because I
was like, no, I just I was just I paid
a lot of attention when I was in Catholic school
because I believe that shit. Momily, you know, sold that
shit as fucking the same fact that it was sold
to her, as you know, it's only now later in
(22:34):
life where Mama is like the fuck, but like all
her young life and then all my young life because
of her young life. And I'm not painting it like
we were in a cult, but like you know, it
just never once occurred to me ever to be like
what do you what do you mean? We believe in
some magic guy in the sky we can't see, but
(22:56):
we just got to take it on faith. And he
had a kid, and you got to explain all this.
So I grew up in that world. And Momily is
still like tied to it. She doesn't go to church
as much, but she definitely is still Momily's got a
statue or two around the house, to say the least.
(23:19):
But to say Momily has a statue around the house
would be like, well, of course, she's seventy fucking eight
years old.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
I understand that in New York, oh ilicit sin bin
of a non very collabtational household, that there are also religious.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
Artifacts and chochkeys and statues, fucking raiders of lost art,
temple heads.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Fucking lost and guy, you running from a giant boulder
if you pick up the special little holy statue, what
you are? You aren't even raised in a house. But
like the only idols you had to look at these
houses were Jane's you know on crosses and ship like that,
or a Buddy Christ I got you.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
A bath oo met statue one time. No, you got
me a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I got you a baho met statue. You got me
a Bapho met.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
No, I got you the Satanic Bible and.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
You also got me the Bapho met.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Like God, Chalice, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It really fucking unnerves me.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I know, well, I've told you the story of what
happened with the statue in Austin, right.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
He got a nerve by it. He after, He's like,
that's not funny.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Art.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
When we moved When he moved in during COVID, it
had been like two weeks of him staying with us,
and he was one night or one day he was like,
I have to talk to you, and I was like, yeah,
what's up?
Speaker 10 (24:50):
And he was like I can't sleep at night And
I was like why and he was like, because I
just know that the statue she was in the room
and I can feel it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
And I was like, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Did you know what statue he was referring to? Yeah,
because he had mentioned it before, Like, yeah, yeah, get
him many him.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
He was like what he's just a demon.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Goat him a teaming coat. He's not a double him. Man,
we go we go hit him to coat. The greatest
done of all time.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
He's funny.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
He did go him like the Tom Brady of dark
evil gods. Oh my god, are you.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Doing where we were going? Well? I had to go
on after midnight last week and it was the show
after the fucking super Bowl, And at first I was like, oh, no,
like about sports, Like, you ain't got any questionable for you.
They provide you with like the writers galore on the show,
(26:01):
so when you show up, like there's a packet of
fucking jokes that are funny as fuck that you could
just literally pick and choose from and say those things. Oh,
they make it so easy.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
It's easy.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
The point of pride being a writer, of course, is like, naturally,
I'm always like not that I'm saying I'm better in
these fucks, but it's like, you want to come up,
I gotta live or die on my own fucking thing.
So you know, back when it was on Comedy Central
and even now that it's on CBS, the approach is
the same, and they're very cool. If you want to
go in and fucking like write your own jokes and
(26:34):
stuff like that. They're not like, oh, you know, unless
I wrote something where they're like, you can't fucking say that.
So I had to write a bunch of jokes for
a sports show and.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
You got to show them before Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, that's TV though, like nobody.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Do all talk shows. I guess you work through every.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
Talk show, right, Well, here's the thing when you're got
around let me talk show.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Here's the thing when you go on a talk show
before you're on and let's say Colbert Seth Myers, you know,
fucking any literally back for been the Day. For me,
it was Leno Letterman. Now I assume it's the exact
same for Kim Oh, I've never been on it. It
was the same for Jimmy Fallon when I was on
(27:26):
his late night show, but not the eleven thirty show
that he does. Now, you always have to speak to
a segment producer and do a pre interview where they
just want to make sure that you got ship to say.
Because these these guys and gals are experts at filling time.
They've done this show a gazillion fucking amount of fucking times,
(27:49):
and so they know all the pitfalls, and the biggest
pitfall is we could have a guest and that guest
could suck ass, and then it's dead air in the studio,
and then it brings the rest of the show down.
And the thing about a late night show, particularly the
eleven thirty show, is it's descending ratings the whole way.
The most watched part of any late night show is
(28:10):
the monologue because that's where people and this is old
thinking because now nobody gives a fuck. Everyone watch it
on YouTube whenever they want. But it used to be
I'll stay up for the monologue that covers all the
news of the day. Well that was before like the
Daily Show did it, and other fucking people do people
do it online, fucking like John Oliver does it on
Sundays and shit like that is back when it was novel.
(28:30):
So a lot of people would get their news from
an opening monologue of one of the late night talk shows.
From there forward, it's a sliding scale, so people will
stick around. Half the audience sticks around for what they
call the desk piece or the first piece, which is
the piece they do after that, and then by the
time you get to the first guest, half that audience
(28:52):
is gone, so you were left with a quarter of
what started the show literally fifteen to twenty minutes prior.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
So I don't know why, but they're like, we got
to make sure that fucking people are have something to say.
And I guess, you know, it makes sense. Some people
get there and I got it. Yes, no, I imagine.
So they like to ask you now, I've been doing
it for years and done enough where like I got
to a place in life where I was like, yeah,
we don't like I'm good. I have a bunch of stuff. Yeah,
(29:22):
and they're like, okay, well and some the really good places,
like Colbert and Seth Meyers now don't ask me to
even pre interview because they're like, we just we just
can't wait to see what Kevin does. Like because both
of them have said in very separate fashions, like Colbert
(29:43):
is like I love when you're on because I can
just sit here and drink coffee. You'll talk the entire time.
It's like you do my job, and the same with Seth.
Like Seth, when I last time I did the show,
like I wrote a fucking twelve days of Christmas for
to sing with all the bad impressions that he does.
So yeah, it's for me. It's like, I don't do
(30:03):
that so much anymore, Like I won't put the fun
for me is like let me surprise them, and they've
trust me inasmuch as I've done it enough where they're like,
you know what, he won't let us down. These cats
I'd never worked with before, and you know, they're also
a network show and they were on after the super Bowl,
so I think they were like, we want to make
(30:25):
sure what you're gonna say it in pants. And so
even the stuff that I wrote for myself, there was
a writer there and we had two laptops and they
were combined together and I would just write it and
he would be sitting next to me and be like,
that's good. So by the time you hit camera, you're
fucking loaded. Never react. They bring out your cards so
(30:47):
you have your answers right there so you can refer
to them before you say them, and stuff like that.
They really don't leave much, you know, to chance.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Can I say something?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
I would love it? I even have done.
Speaker 10 (31:04):
You've you have and are doing two really unexpected things
this year, I would say, which are one have a
spot after a sporting event that was strange.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
That's pretty strange. And two.
Speaker 10 (31:20):
Housting a cruise when you're so fucking scared of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It is the weirdest of fucking bearing of all time.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
All I can think about is like one week from
today when we're back in dock and nobody has gotten
eaten by a shugar, nobody has gone overboard, everyone is
back safely. I know I Jordan swears that I asked
for this at one PI.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I'm so confused my whole life.
Speaker 10 (31:46):
Anytime I've gone to the beach, gone to a to
an island on Hawaii, a tropical place, so anywhere with water,
you're always like, stay out of the water.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
I'm gonna be so mad if you do something dangerous
in the water.
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Do not go with the water.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
And now you're gonna be floating on a house, on
a house ocean house.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
What Titanics? What if we had an iceberg or what's
the opposite of an iceberg and the sandberg? What if
the Bermuda Triangle.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
That's what I was saying. And none of you all
seem to care that you're going to be right next.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
To the you did your generation. Fuck with the Bermuda Triangle.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
I don't know about the rest of them, but I
what do you know about I watched watch the documentary, Yeah,
and it's fucking scary, and so much is unexplored and unexplained.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
What do you think is the most logical explanation for.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
The Bermuda Triangle. I think that's for sure a portal
to other places.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
No, that's not the most likely it is. I think
the most.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Like aliens come through the ocean.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It's the Mariana Trench, right like, So nobody knows how
fucking deep it goes down. They can't measure, or maybe
they did measure, and it's fucking way deep. But I
read I once read a theory which I fucking like
that makes sense. Terrifying, but it makes sense. Down deep
(33:11):
in the Mariana Trench, there lives a monster. There's like,
you know, a crack in the earth, gas is leaking
and blah blah blah. So let's say that you had
a gas bubble that began at the surface or at
the base of Mariana Trench and floated up slowly getting
larger and larger, just like that, And when that gas
(33:37):
bubble hits the surface and the gas bubble is as
large as the width and length of a battleship. It
pomps and that fucking ship drops into the void that
was up, that was in the water, and the ocean
just fucking takes it straight down that the bloop. I believe, Yes,
(34:02):
I think that's what the Bermuda trile. You know, think
that's it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
You're going to be right next to it.
Speaker 5 (34:10):
Well, yeah, you're literally going to be right next to it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
You're gonna say it ain't cat.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Deep that also, but.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
What do you think it is? Do you really think
it's a portal?
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I believe aliens come through the through the ocean.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
And they're like time with ask.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
It's like the ocean is in the depths of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
There are portals to other universes, and once we get there,
you go through it. Well we can't because, like.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
You must talk to stay alive, you're.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Just not able to go that deep.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, I think it's that.
Speaker 8 (34:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (34:56):
I'm not buying an your magical theory, like my noise,
auld you imagine terrifying?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
That would be like you're on a boat and all
of a sudden, the sea beneath you just literally flat out,
opens up like.
Speaker 8 (35:15):
Plummet happy thousands of stories, makes no sense, Try and
have a good time.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, I hopefully that goes well. But anyway, back to
fucking to little Lord faunt Leroy and him magical statues
in your house?
Speaker 5 (35:39):
How did that come to me?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
He has a We were trying to figure out before
if it was the name of the saint, you and
I were if it was if it was a saint,
if it was an angel. Are those two the same thing?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Not? Would you like me to saint explain to you?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
What's an archangel?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
An arch angel?
Speaker 5 (35:59):
Yeah? An arch angel, angel that sits on Friends show.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Angel Like this motherfucker Austin's parents are like, dump her.
She has just equated an archangel with an helf.
Speaker 8 (36:19):
On the mother.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Faisas the the archangel. There are angels, then there are archangels.
Arch Angels are Are they bigger angels? No?
Speaker 5 (36:31):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
There's no such thing as bad angel. A bad angel
is a devil. That's where the devil comes from. No, man,
archangel is just like I'm in charge of a fucking
legion of angels, all the legions of Heaven facing the
forces of hell. That's the movie I always wanted to
make man when I was a kid. Fucking I think
what's his name wants to do it. He wants to
(36:52):
do Scott Dereckson wants to do Paradise Lost, which is
the John Milton version of the War between Heaven and Hell.
What most people think about as like, you know, their
angelic lore of like God cast the angels out, and
you know they became He sent them to Hell and
they became the devils and blah blah blah because they
(37:12):
were too proud. And Lucifer the light Bringer and all
this shit that came from Milton, I ain't even from
the fucking Bible. He was called the light Bringer. Lucifer
was God's greatest angel, the Prince.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
You don't know the ship.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
He was. He is, but his secret origin, his secret villa,
his super villain's secret origin story is that he is
the light Bringer, the God's greatest fucking angel, like the
most perfect creations that God ever wrought, the highest of
(37:48):
all angels, second only to the Lord of Hosts himself.
And then one day God creates Man and says to
the heavenly host, this is my greatest creation. You know,
(38:10):
serve Man and Lucifer was like, no, serve that piece
of shit. No, like I deserve you know, the love,
not them. And the Lord was like, you dare speak
against me the Lord you're a god, Well then I
(38:30):
will cast you out and drop you into the depths.
And Lucifer, you know, spit back at God saying better
to reign in hell than serve in heaven. So fucking
angelic lore has archangels being the highest choir of angels.
(38:51):
Then there's like the Metatron, who is the voice of God,
also an angel, but he was an archangel. So yeah,
so Austin has an archangel at you just chilling?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
He took me on a journey.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You know, I would love all this shit, but he'd
probably be like, no it, I knew it. I knew
that is Austin Puff. Yeah. Puff would be like, oh
my god, your dad is spitting fucking fact. So he
still has a foot in this Catholicism.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Yeah, well, his grandma gave him this little guy.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
I can't remember his name. Yeah, he was wearing like
a robe and a hat and he had a little scepter.
But he's not a kid Saint Jude or is he
a pope or something?
Speaker 10 (39:38):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Is it. Is he a little kid? Yeah, the Infant
of Prague. Yeah, yes, Now the Infant of Prague I
had in my house growing up as well.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
It's a little guy.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It was a little baby version of G's not baby,
but little like yeah, toddler version of Jesus. And the
great thing about him is him come with many different outfits.
He did. He was a statue that has no you're
supposed to change it for every season. So there's purple
for Lent, there's red for Christmas, there's oh yeah, the
(40:18):
Infant of Prague. Now Jesus himself as an infant or
a toddler never went to Prague. That's in like what Czechoslovakia.
But I believe there was a vision of him, just
like you know, the three kids who saw Mary in Fatima,
(40:39):
they saw the vision of the Virgin mother who gave
them the three secrets you know about this shit right
where the virgin mother was like, I'm gonna tell you
this is like the turn of the century. I'm gonna
tell you three kids these three truths that will come
to pass, you know. And she did. And the kids
were never allowed to tell anybody. They were only allowed
to tell the popes, and so they're all three of them.
(41:02):
There were three kids. Two of them are dead. One
of them just died recently. She was like one hundred
and ten years old. And every pope that came into power,
they would have a private meeting with the kids, and
the kids would tell them what the Holy Mother said.
They revealed two of them that were pinpoint true, like
one hundred percent accurate, the Rise of Hitler and something else.
(41:26):
I forget what it is now. The third secret never
been revealed yet.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Wait, this person was one hundred and ten.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
The youngest kid from Fatima lived to be over one
hundred years old. But she just died recently, fairly recently,
within the last five years, say maybe ten. I want
to say five. What part of this is are you
stumbling over?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Will you say something about marry?
Speaker 2 (41:58):
They those kids they didn't see an infinite Prague. That's
what in Prague. They saw a vision of Jesus, young Jesus,
these kids in fat Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Because well that's that's where my confusion was lying.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Jesus was long dead, Yeah, that was they saw him
in Prague, and Mary was long dead when they saw
and Fatima. So the kids in Fatima, you know, everyone
was like, these fucking kids, they're fucking shepherds are off
in the hills and they saw fucking the Blessed mother. Bullshit.
Then the whole town came and somehow the witness the
miracle of the sun or some shit I forget, the
(42:31):
story proved that she was around and people, maybe more
than just the kids saw and then that's when fucking
people were like, oh my god, the kids are telling
the truth and ship. So one of those kids lived
a long ass time and told I think like ten
different popes what the secret was. And when two of
the secrets came true, the then popes were like, not
(42:53):
for nothing, but one of you remember them Fatima kids,
They told me that Hitler was going to happen.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
So the third one doesn't come true, maybe.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
We could be oh, you know what I'm saying. So
it could be that our blessed mother saw those kids
and she was like, let me tell you something right now,
you know when this is all going to wrap up?
Twenty twenty five, baby, not the.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Same, But I've been I started watching Halo last night.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Exact thing, same exact thing, the Lord Master Chief, same
exact jee. Honestly, though, if if a messianic figure.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
But honestly a scary prediction of what the future is
A scary ass one.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Yeah, what do you think the future is going to
look like?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
God?
Speaker 3 (43:43):
I hope not like Halo.
Speaker 5 (43:46):
Still, k it sucks.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
It looks that expensive?
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh my god, I hope it does not look like that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
When I was a kid, you know, I thought we'd
have flying cars by now, but that hasn't happened.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
What do you be bad for the birds flying cars?
Speaker 3 (44:06):
We already humans already hit so many animals on the
street and the.
Speaker 5 (44:11):
Bird's territory to not have a flying cars?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Is the birds? Like you hit me with something? Why?
Because the jetson said it would happen? Okay, I was
promising my cartoon.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
What he is a wookie walkie? He is a rookie,
is a luckie? Birdie is Bertie.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
Yes, Birdie Birdie is.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Bird Walkie is a.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Cute.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I'll do the walk. He's a walk and you come
in with what he is a wookie walkie is a
wuckie work. He is a wookie walkie is a wookie work.
He is a wookie walk He is a wookie. He
is a wookie wok he is a wookie.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
He is a Rookie is a wookie.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Book is a bookie. Hookie is a wookie.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Bookie, Cookie is wiki work.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Birdie's over there in the corner.
Speaker 11 (45:24):
I'll give a fuck, Hey, bird, we were just singing
your praises. She's like story in my life.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
I'm secute, of course sing her other.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Song, which is.
Speaker 11 (45:36):
I'm just a way of wacky because I'm Wacky's puppy.
My name is BIRDO. Have you heard I like to
play real?
Speaker 5 (45:44):
Roughly?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
This has been a podcast production. It's podcast podcast using
our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what.
We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts
waiting for you at that kevinsmithclub dot com. Go sign
(46:19):
up now.
Hey, you get to one.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Honey, Oh my lord, mother, how are you? Me and
Harley are recording our podcast right now? Dimma? What Mom?
Tell Harley what you told me the other day when
you went to the hospital. What happened she had that procedure.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
Oh yeah, what happened was I wasn't aware of the
whole thing. Good already had arranged it on Good Friday,
and I said to Bold days.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Right, Good Friday for those who don't follow this year closely,
is the day Jesus died.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Yeah, And he set the thing up with the doctor
that I would go to sleep a little bit. But
while I was there, he stopped my heart and restarted it,
trying to get my a fifth down from racing so
much and taking away from my heart. So I was
(01:20):
not aware of it, was thank goodness, but he did
stop it and restarted. In Virginia and Donald were outside,
and he went out and talked to him right away
and said, your mother's strong. You know, you never know
let anything get down.
Speaker 2 (01:33):
But wait, I'm going to step you back to like
you weren't aware that this was coming, and just I
mean I knew you knew that eventually it was going.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
To happen, but didn't know what was happening that day.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
You didn't. You weren't aware when you went in that
that was what was going to happen that day.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Uh No. A couple of minutes before I looked on
the a writing board, Donald does me for the doctor's
appointments and I said, why am I going on good Friday? Kevind?
I said, that's kind of crazy to me. And he said, well,
doctor's going to do that procedure and he has the time.
And I said what procedure? And he said, you know
(02:10):
that one mon where you go to sleep and then
they wake you up again.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
I said really, now, I had wow, do you remember
any of it? They'd put you out right, They give
you drugs.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
To put you out. So I went to the cap
lab and they got me all ready up and everything
like that, and then I said, okay, I guess go
to sleep. So what they have to do is go
down your throat with a camera that's white. The throat
hurts of you. So I said, okay, Doc, are you
ready for that? He said, oh, you're always ready. Grace.
It's okay.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
You know this casual motherfucker who's stopping my mother's heart,
it's like, oh great, she'll be fine.
Speaker 1 (02:52):
Oh yeah, my god. So you know, so we joked
around a little and I said, okay, good night, guys.
I'm going to sleep. So that's what I did, and
that's how he did it. Right away, that was said.
It wasn't even a minute. It was stopped and restarted.
So he's trying to get the A five to slow
down so it don't keep raising my heart, you know,
(03:14):
which I agree. I agree when I'm go ahead, we're
moving right along. And we went in to see the
doctor on Friday, was gone and he comes in and
sits down and sold dog every time you sit down
to mean something, he said. He said, I just looked
at your ekg they took for me when he came in.
I said, yeah, I told me you don't want to
see the difference. And he said, you know, he's got
(03:35):
a little improvement there. I'm glad about that. She's taken
pretty good in help. So that's that's a good that's
a plus.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
You know, Yeah, that's amazing news.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Yeah. So uh, I said, well that's fun. I'm probably
first on my life. I had it stopped and starting. Well,
I was sleeping, so that's okay, but uh, i'de lucky,
not my own spirits.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You know, lord, Mom, You're you're an ongoing adventure always.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
I know. I can't wait to see what we got next.
Plan for me?
Speaker 2 (04:08):
Right? Only two times, only good times.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Yeah, only good times. Over there. I said to Virginia,
I want to ride a horse, and she goes, oh, mother,
you're kidding, aren't you. I said, you kind of, but
I still would like to try it. She said, you can't.
You gotta wait until you're all settled with your heart
and everything. I said, okay, So she got me three horses.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
Now, Oh yes, yes, I have beauty.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
That's the mummy I had bow over separated from Judy.
So no Shenanigans, that's the beauty.
Speaker 2 (04:46):
You never want your toys. Fucking Mom always said that
to me when I was a child. Tiger, you got
to keep them separating.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
Oh yeah, saying father. And then we have Baden on
the blue chair behind her mother being protected. I have
all three of them and Donalds, Virginia, will you stop
buying her these big things for the house.
Speaker 4 (05:08):
Whatever makes you happy?
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, and also beats you trying to get up on
a real ass horse.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
So true.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
Oh my God, that's so true.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
All fun And then you saw have you seen that picture?
I gotta taken and sent to you. Virginia had it
done on a block at CBS. For me, it's like
a block, it's really light. But it's a picture of
Aunt Virginia holding me on the reeling of the Telehaestree house.
Right was green years old, and you kid, I mean
(05:38):
really cute. It's so funny that Emergy has got a
hat on, because those are the days that wore hats.
You know, she's fifteen years older than me, so that picture.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
She at least never mind her, she's she's like, you know,
just scenery. It's the baby in the picture that fucking shines.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
Oh my god, it's so adorable. Can't I didn't think
I was that cute.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
You're always the cutest.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Yeah, you're still remain.
Speaker 3 (06:03):
Cute, man, You're still just that cute.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You'd still see that little baby mammily in your face.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh my god, I can see why Grandma and Grandpa
fell in love with me and kid me.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
You know, it makes sense, makes sense. That's why a
parent loves a child, because they're adorable based on looks
and looks alone. That's it, and you were a looker
of a kid. You could have been a model baby,
could have done ivory, soap, bads and ship. But still no,
let's let's talk about how you've been feeling. You're actually
up and walking around.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Yeah. I was outside tonight with coffee, tream around about
two blocks you know, in here.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Nice.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Yeah, she ya. She was glad to see that. I
didn't quit until I got back home.
Speaker 5 (06:46):
You know.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Wow, that's amazing, Grandma.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Excellent job. Mom.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh thank you, Harley. Ah. I miss your wonderful voice. Holly,
I miss you.
Speaker 3 (06:58):
I miss you so much.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Yeah, we'll get together again, you know.
Speaker 4 (07:04):
Of course. I'm so happy that you're doing so much better.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
Oh, thank you. Yeah, I really do compare to list
here this time.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Better.
Speaker 3 (07:16):
Yeah, I'm so proud of you. You're doing amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:20):
All right, Mom, Well we're gonna jump off. We just
wanted to check in. That's all excellent news to hear.
Speaker 1 (07:25):
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna wave the flame. Kid, I'm gonna
have a good session here now right.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
On, say hi to everybody, so goodbye to everybody.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
Rather, it's only just me and Her Royal Highness Princess.
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Of course.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
We'll kick back and joyce on ice cream. You've earned
it after the walk.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
And it's good to hear me both. God bless you.
But I'm so happy to hear you. Harley.
Speaker 4 (07:55):
Thanks Grandma.
Speaker 3 (07:56):
I love you so much.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I love you too, Honey. My voice isn't clear yet,
but oh no you so it's okay. Then, thank you all.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I love you, Mom, I love you too.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Love you both, love you and squinching your kisses such kisses.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Well, good lord, thank you. I love you Mom, love
you too. Good night, love you and have a.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
Great night you too, kids, kids, all right.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
Okay, all right, good night.
Speaker 3 (08:33):
Good night, good night, good night.
Speaker 2 (08:36):
Okay, bye bye bye. Oh thanks for answering, love you, mom, bye.
Speaker 1 (08:41):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (08:46):
So many, so many takeaways from that.
Speaker 2 (08:49):
Lot, a lot of lots of break down. Wow, can
you imagine they stopped your heart?
Speaker 3 (08:59):
But like she didn't even know.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
That's a crazy thing.
Speaker 6 (09:02):
I would want to like, well, I want to fuck
you know, But I'd also be like, I mean, the
best fucking night of my life before this, like at.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
The same time took all the fred out of it.
But the thing is what I got from that was
she looked at the board and it was written on
the board. It wasn't like, you know, the information was
kept from her. It might have been information that she rediscovered.
I don't think my brother would ever be like, I'm
a sneak attack mom for that very reason. It's like,
(09:32):
oh my god, this is a big procedure. Maybe she
should you know, fucking.
Speaker 3 (09:35):
Yeah, did you know?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I didn't know until after it was all done.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
I fucking no.
Speaker 2 (09:40):
For I mean, I was talking the other day and
she's like, so I was at the hospital on Good
Friday and they stopped my heart and I was like why,
And you know, she went to this She told me
the same thing that she just told us. But I
was what a harrowing notion of just like going to
stop your heart and then restarted, like essentially they killed
(10:05):
her for a second or two and then brought her
back to life. That is kind of nuts, man. So
and she's had the whole I died experienced for her
heart stopped and shit and she floated. But this was
she didn't she had no recollection of it. I was like,
do you remember, do you remember like when it happened.
(10:26):
She was like I was out cold, Oh my gosh.
But meanwhile, when she died on the table. She was
also out cold years ago. So your special tiger, because
I lost one before you and one after you. I
was I guess mom like those siblings.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
That as a real life mohamedly quote too.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
She lost She lost one of those, you know, she
lost one of them a miscarriage, the first one. I
think she didn't intend to, but sacrificed my older sibling,
what would have been an older sibling to a Black
Friday sale.
Speaker 3 (11:04):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (11:06):
She was outside a store trying to get in so
she can get a TV big line and they opened
the doors and everybody crushed in and Momily got knocked
down young Momily, you know, or maybe twenty nine year
old Momily, but got knocked down, and that probably is
how she lost. Yeah, look at you? Is that a
(11:30):
little is that a little too real for you?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I just didn't know Mommiy like that.
Speaker 2 (11:34):
That's fucking mom That's Momiy's fucking story, bro. Momiley's story
is a patchwork of the thrill of victory and the
agony of defeat, love and loss.
Speaker 3 (11:46):
In my adulthood, I feel like I've I've really just
found out who Momley is.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
I even can fight you on that. You're absolutely right.
It has been the one of the greatest joys of
my life that you have gotten to like connect so
hardcore with Momily She's like, sometimes I don't know what
you guys are talking about, but you seem to be
having a good time.
Speaker 5 (12:13):
It's very funny.
Speaker 2 (12:17):
You literally just described podcast. But yeah, man, she yeah,
and she when she hears you talk about that, she
thinks she's funny. She was like, she gets proud and
she's so funny. She has this like moment where she
was like, I could have been a fucking comedian. I
(12:38):
could have been Joan Rivers, I could have been Roseanne
bar It could have been fucking Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop.
Oh my god, could you imagine if mom, do you
even know who Sheery Lewis and lamp is not really
quite a comedian, although she was very funny. Sherry Lewis herself, well,
I was gonna say Sherry Lewis wasn't funny. Lamb Chop was.
(12:58):
But Chop was literally WHOA about to fucking separate the two, Like,
motherfuck Jerry Lewis, Now Lamb Chop that was talent. Jerry
Lewis is like, Wow, we're connected motherfucker. When Lamb Chop talks,
I'm literally gone and she did that was like she
(13:21):
was on TV all the time when I was a kid,
and that was when you could capture child's imagination with
a fucking sock puppet.
Speaker 5 (13:27):
Not just a child, bro.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
She was on like Hollywood Squares, Sherry Lamp, Sherry Lewis,
and Lamb Chop with her hand.
Speaker 3 (13:33):
Puppet, Sollywood Squares. Oh god, oh my god, what you're
an old guy?
Speaker 7 (13:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:43):
Old a game show? Do you know what the game
show is? No, Hollywood Square is like one of the
original game shows. And it was like set up like
tic tac toe and they had famous people quasi famous
people in the squares. I think they still make this like.
Speaker 3 (13:58):
The floor they're supposed on episode six this first season
right now?
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Are they in a TikTok fok toe format on the
floor things? No Hollywood Squares. So it was like like
the center square was Paul Lynn, who played like he
did many things, but he was the voice of Templeton,
the rat in Charlotte's Web, so I get set his
(14:26):
c he was that he was the center square because
they would always go to him for like some fucking
risky joke, but like, well, maybe they wanted to make
up all around other Hollywood people Cero, you know a
fucking like fucking George whatever Will Wilson or whatever, fuck
(14:51):
George Wilson, of course, but you know you're two contestants
and there's a whole Peter Marshall. Don't make me tell
you my Peter Marshall story, and you know you and
are contestants, and so he'd be like, okay, hardly you
(15:13):
picked for you're the circle. You get to go first,
and so you're like, I will take Courtney Love and
then they go Courtney and the audience goes Quurtney Love
would never be on the show, but famous people. So
she'd be sitting there and she'd be like, what again,
(15:36):
don't make me over and they would be like what
parts are good for women? And she'd be like, I
don't know, doal parts? And then she's like, you know,
female parts? And then they'll be like, do you is
(15:58):
the answer female parts? And they would ask you and
you would be like, I'm going to agree with Courtney,
and then he'd read the answer and be like, it
is female parts. Circle gets the square and you've now
got a position on the board like Tic tac toe.
You get three in a row, you win the game.
(16:18):
So you use celebrities to answer these really been all questions,
and then based on their responses, they get extra zeroed,
And so you're playing I hope it's painfully clear what
this is.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I get it.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
I see the show.
Speaker 2 (16:33):
Why did we bring it up? Oh, Cherry Lewis and
lamp Chop, she'd be on the show. So you're literally
talking about a woman who in that point, maybe in
her late thirties, forties and shit like that, about as
famous as Jennifer Lawrence is now, because there weren't nearly
as many famous people back then. And when you were
on TV, you were fucking super famous because you've had
(16:56):
eighty million people watching a television program. However, TV and
movie famous were very separate and different, and they rarely
crossed over, and TV was just like, it's a TV
star versus that movie star. Bruce Willis he made the
jump from TV star movie star, and so few a
few guys do it. But at any event, Sherry Lewis
(17:17):
would be there with the fucking sock on her hand
that kind of looked like a little sheep, a lamb
if you will lamb Chop and she would be fucking like.
Speaker 5 (17:28):
Yeah, I think you're not give me not very smart.
She's not very smart, Peter, and the audience.
Speaker 2 (17:35):
Be like your baby, they have a lighter, do it again.
It was fucking massive and it worked on many levels,
four quadrants.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Bro.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
If you were a kid, you were like fucking lamb
Chop talk. If you were an adult, she was working
a little fucking double entendre risk humor, not too risky
because Cherry would keep it clean because she was first
informal child's entertainer. But it was an eight PM show,
seven PM show, so she could get a little more.
She'd get closer to the line. Built an entire career,
(18:08):
not just a career, fucking fortune off that stuffed lamb
Chop she was on. She had her own fucking television show.
At one point, sang, God, could you imagine if my
mom had been Sherry Lewis famous and worked a fucking
puppet for a living.
Speaker 3 (18:22):
That'd be awesome.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
That puppet would have been my best friend growing up.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
Wow, it really would have.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
My mom would have because I mean, if I dealt
with muppets, I was on the fucking you know, the
muppet mayhem thing. So I've seen muppets in real life.
And even though a dude was sitting there with his
hand up this muppet and he was talking and not
going to control, I'm just talking and going like this.
I didn't look at the human. I looked at the puppet. Yeah,
so I could have had like that might have been
one of my ghost siblings.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
You would have. I feel like you would have been
jealous of the puppet, you think.
Speaker 2 (18:52):
So, yeah, oh yeah, Momily is just like, where's where's uh,
where's uh? Squirrely McLean's squirreling McClean.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
We're squirreling clat.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
We're squirreling mcclan. We're squirreling McLean in the hamper.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
That's your backstory. That's what pushed you to be a filmmaker.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
There it is, people like what drove them? Oh squarely
McClean like, that's your sister. I'm like, wow, well my
mom's hand is inside squirreling mclan.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Then yes, she's like it has the soul of your
one before you.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
You understand, Yeah, it could have been the one before
me or the one after me, says my mom. Mom
says you realize that mamily is squirrely McLean right Wait
what a squirreling McLean's voices? Like, holy chack, I'm trying
(19:57):
to think the voice mom can do. She'd be like
Harley Harley cool key.
Speaker 5 (20:03):
Yeah, I want to see Momley Harley Hardy cool. Yes,
I can.
Speaker 7 (20:13):
Still see that.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Let's go and see momily done and done.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Here we go, just visited momay in my heart?
Speaker 3 (20:25):
How old? So I love all the grandparentleies?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Yeah you got you got three?
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Which is I've got some great grandparents?
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Does Austin have any grandparents life?
Speaker 3 (20:36):
Only one.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
A man or woman Grandma and grandpa Grandma? How old.
Speaker 8 (20:44):
I think that?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
She's like either late eighties or early nineties?
Speaker 8 (20:51):
Fuck?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
Yeah, what what happened? Like Austin is kind of Catholic
or is Catholic? Was raised Catholic?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
He is his family is very Catholic.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
The Catholic, but like is his dad? Like it's not
just Catholic, No, his family is.
Speaker 3 (21:11):
His dad's side of the family is Mexican and Lebanesee,
So it's.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Like they're very Catholic. But isn't it Jesuit or something
as well?
Speaker 1 (21:21):
No?
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Wait, what the what before you react like that, do
you know, I actually don't know what it is exactly.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
What's a jesuit. A jesuit is a hardcore fucking Catholic.
Where I'm a Catholic. Most people assume, like because of Dogma,
that I was a jesuit as well, Like what's his name?
Tom Clancy who wrote The Hunt for at October, he
(21:52):
had sent me an email. He's like, I got your
email from Ben because Ben was in the Sum of
All Fears he played Jack Ryano point and he was like,
I love dog Mine and I just have to know
what school you studied under the jesuits at because he
wrote it better than that. He's a best selling fucking
(22:12):
authors in any question with a preposition. But he was like,
I have to know, like because I could smell a jesuit.
And I always felt really proud about that because I
was like, no, I just I was just I paid
a lot of attention when I was in Catholic school
because I believe that shit. Momily, you know, sold that
shit as fucking the same fact that it was sold
to her, as you know, it's only now later in
(22:34):
life where Mama is like the fuck, but like all
her young life and then all my young life because
of her young life. And I'm not painting it like
we were in a cult, but like you know, it
just never once occurred to me ever to be like
what do you what do you mean? We believe in
some magic guy in the sky we can't see, but
(22:56):
we just got to take it on faith. And he
had a kid, and you got to explain all this.
So I grew up in that world. And Momily is
still like tied to it. She doesn't go to church
as much, but she definitely is still Momily's got a
statue or two around the house, to say the least.
(23:19):
But to say Momily has a statue around the house
would be like, well, of course, she's seventy fucking eight
years old.
Speaker 7 (23:26):
I understand that in New York, oh ilicit sin bin
of a non very collabtational household, that there are also religious.
Speaker 8 (23:40):
Artifacts and chochkeys and statues, fucking raiders of lost art,
temple heads.
Speaker 9 (23:52):
Fucking lost and guy, you running from a giant boulder
if you pick up the special little holy statue, what
you are? You aren't even raised in a house. But
like the only idols you had to look at these
houses were Jane's you know on crosses and ship like that,
or a Buddy Christ I got you.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
A bath oo met statue one time. No, you got
me a bathroom.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
I got you a baho met statue. You got me
a Bapho met.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
No, I got you the Satanic Bible and.
Speaker 2 (24:21):
You also got me the Bapho met.
Speaker 3 (24:22):
Like God, Chalice, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (24:24):
It really fucking unnerves me.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
I know, well, I've told you the story of what
happened with the statue in Austin, right.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
He got a nerve by it. He after, He's like,
that's not funny.
Speaker 1 (24:35):
Art.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:37):
When we moved When he moved in during COVID, it
had been like two weeks of him staying with us,
and he was one night or one day he was like,
I have to talk to you, and I was like, yeah,
what's up?
Speaker 10 (24:50):
And he was like I can't sleep at night And
I was like why and he was like, because I
just know that the statue she was in the room
and I can feel it.
Speaker 3 (25:02):
And I was like, are you serious?
Speaker 2 (25:06):
Did you know what statue he was referring to? Yeah,
because he had mentioned it before, Like, yeah, yeah, get
him many him.
Speaker 3 (25:18):
He was like what he's just a demon.
Speaker 5 (25:20):
Goat him a teaming coat. He's not a double him. Man,
we go we go hit him to coat. The greatest
done of all time.
Speaker 3 (25:28):
He's funny.
Speaker 5 (25:30):
He did go him like the Tom Brady of dark
evil gods. Oh my god, are you.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
Doing where we were going? Well? I had to go
on after midnight last week and it was the show
after the fucking super Bowl, And at first I was like, oh, no,
like about sports, Like, you ain't got any questionable for you.
They provide you with like the writers galore on the show,
(26:01):
so when you show up, like there's a packet of
fucking jokes that are funny as fuck that you could
just literally pick and choose from and say those things. Oh,
they make it so easy.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
It's easy.
Speaker 2 (26:13):
The point of pride being a writer, of course, is like, naturally,
I'm always like not that I'm saying I'm better in
these fucks, but it's like, you want to come up,
I gotta live or die on my own fucking thing.
So you know, back when it was on Comedy Central
and even now that it's on CBS, the approach is
the same, and they're very cool. If you want to
go in and fucking like write your own jokes and
(26:34):
stuff like that. They're not like, oh, you know, unless
I wrote something where they're like, you can't fucking say that.
So I had to write a bunch of jokes for
a sports show and.
Speaker 3 (26:43):
You got to show them before Yeah, whoa.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
Yeah, that's TV though, like nobody.
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Do all talk shows. I guess you work through every.
Speaker 8 (26:57):
Talk show, right, Well, here's the thing when you're got
around let me talk show.
Speaker 2 (27:05):
Here's the thing when you go on a talk show
before you're on and let's say Colbert Seth Myers, you know,
fucking any literally back for been the Day. For me,
it was Leno Letterman. Now I assume it's the exact
same for Kim Oh, I've never been on it. It
was the same for Jimmy Fallon when I was on
(27:26):
his late night show, but not the eleven thirty show
that he does. Now, you always have to speak to
a segment producer and do a pre interview where they
just want to make sure that you got ship to say.
Because these these guys and gals are experts at filling time.
They've done this show a gazillion fucking amount of fucking times,
(27:49):
and so they know all the pitfalls, and the biggest
pitfall is we could have a guest and that guest
could suck ass, and then it's dead air in the studio,
and then it brings the rest of the show down.
And the thing about a late night show, particularly the
eleven thirty show, is it's descending ratings the whole way.
The most watched part of any late night show is
(28:10):
the monologue because that's where people and this is old
thinking because now nobody gives a fuck. Everyone watch it
on YouTube whenever they want. But it used to be
I'll stay up for the monologue that covers all the
news of the day. Well that was before like the
Daily Show did it, and other fucking people do people
do it online, fucking like John Oliver does it on
Sundays and shit like that is back when it was novel.
(28:30):
So a lot of people would get their news from
an opening monologue of one of the late night talk shows.
From there forward, it's a sliding scale, so people will
stick around. Half the audience sticks around for what they
call the desk piece or the first piece, which is
the piece they do after that, and then by the
time you get to the first guest, half that audience
(28:52):
is gone, so you were left with a quarter of
what started the show literally fifteen to twenty minutes prior.
Speaker 3 (28:59):
That's crazy.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
So I don't know why, but they're like, we got
to make sure that fucking people are have something to say.
And I guess, you know, it makes sense. Some people
get there and I got it. Yes, no, I imagine.
So they like to ask you now, I've been doing
it for years and done enough where like I got
to a place in life where I was like, yeah,
we don't like I'm good. I have a bunch of stuff. Yeah,
(29:22):
and they're like, okay, well and some the really good places,
like Colbert and Seth Meyers now don't ask me to
even pre interview because they're like, we just we just
can't wait to see what Kevin does. Like because both
of them have said in very separate fashions, like Colbert
(29:43):
is like I love when you're on because I can
just sit here and drink coffee. You'll talk the entire time.
It's like you do my job, and the same with Seth.
Like Seth, when I last time I did the show,
like I wrote a fucking twelve days of Christmas for
to sing with all the bad impressions that he does.
So yeah, it's for me. It's like, I don't do
(30:03):
that so much anymore, Like I won't put the fun
for me is like let me surprise them, and they've
trust me inasmuch as I've done it enough where they're like,
you know what, he won't let us down. These cats
I'd never worked with before, and you know, they're also
a network show and they were on after the super Bowl,
so I think they were like, we want to make
(30:25):
sure what you're gonna say it in pants. And so
even the stuff that I wrote for myself, there was
a writer there and we had two laptops and they
were combined together and I would just write it and
he would be sitting next to me and be like,
that's good. So by the time you hit camera, you're
fucking loaded. Never react. They bring out your cards so
(30:47):
you have your answers right there so you can refer
to them before you say them, and stuff like that.
They really don't leave much, you know, to chance.
Speaker 3 (30:55):
Can I say something?
Speaker 2 (30:56):
I would love it? I even have done.
Speaker 10 (31:04):
You've you have and are doing two really unexpected things
this year, I would say, which are one have a
spot after a sporting event that was strange.
Speaker 3 (31:16):
That's pretty strange. And two.
Speaker 10 (31:20):
Housting a cruise when you're so fucking scared of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (31:26):
It is the weirdest of fucking bearing of all time.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
All I can think about is like one week from
today when we're back in dock and nobody has gotten
eaten by a shugar, nobody has gone overboard, everyone is
back safely. I know I Jordan swears that I asked
for this at one PI.
Speaker 3 (31:44):
I'm so confused my whole life.
Speaker 10 (31:46):
Anytime I've gone to the beach, gone to a to
an island on Hawaii, a tropical place, so anywhere with water,
you're always like, stay out of the water.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
I'm gonna be so mad if you do something dangerous
in the water.
Speaker 8 (31:59):
Do not go with the water.
Speaker 3 (32:01):
And now you're gonna be floating on a house, on
a house ocean house.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
What Titanics? What if we had an iceberg or what's
the opposite of an iceberg and the sandberg? What if
the Bermuda Triangle.
Speaker 3 (32:16):
That's what I was saying. And none of you all
seem to care that you're going to be right next.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
To the you did your generation. Fuck with the Bermuda Triangle.
Speaker 6 (32:24):
I don't know about the rest of them, but I
what do you know about I watched watch the documentary, Yeah,
and it's fucking scary, and so much is unexplored and unexplained.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
What do you think is the most logical explanation for.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
The Bermuda Triangle. I think that's for sure a portal
to other places.
Speaker 2 (32:45):
No, that's not the most likely it is. I think
the most.
Speaker 3 (32:48):
Like aliens come through the ocean.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
It's the Mariana Trench, right like, So nobody knows how
fucking deep it goes down. They can't measure, or maybe
they did measure, and it's fucking way deep. But I
read I once read a theory which I fucking like
that makes sense. Terrifying, but it makes sense. Down deep
(33:11):
in the Mariana Trench, there lives a monster. There's like,
you know, a crack in the earth, gas is leaking
and blah blah blah. So let's say that you had
a gas bubble that began at the surface or at
the base of Mariana Trench and floated up slowly getting
larger and larger, just like that, And when that gas
(33:37):
bubble hits the surface and the gas bubble is as
large as the width and length of a battleship. It
pomps and that fucking ship drops into the void that
was up, that was in the water, and the ocean
just fucking takes it straight down that the bloop. I believe, Yes,
(34:02):
I think that's what the Bermuda trile. You know, think
that's it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
You're going to be right next to it.
Speaker 5 (34:10):
Well, yeah, you're literally going to be right next to it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
You're gonna say it ain't cat.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
Deep that also, but.
Speaker 2 (34:20):
What do you think it is? Do you really think
it's a portal?
Speaker 3 (34:24):
I believe aliens come through the through the ocean.
Speaker 2 (34:27):
And they're like time with ask.
Speaker 4 (34:29):
It's like the ocean is in the depths of the ocean.
Speaker 3 (34:33):
There are portals to other universes, and once we get there,
you go through it. Well we can't because, like.
Speaker 2 (34:41):
You must talk to stay alive, you're.
Speaker 3 (34:49):
Just not able to go that deep.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, I think it's that.
Speaker 8 (34:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 10 (34:56):
I'm not buying an your magical theory, like my noise,
auld you imagine terrifying?
Speaker 2 (35:04):
That would be like you're on a boat and all
of a sudden, the sea beneath you just literally flat out,
opens up like.
Speaker 8 (35:15):
Plummet happy thousands of stories, makes no sense, Try and
have a good time.
Speaker 2 (35:28):
Yeah, I hopefully that goes well. But anyway, back to
fucking to little Lord faunt Leroy and him magical statues
in your house?
Speaker 5 (35:39):
How did that come to me?
Speaker 3 (35:41):
He has a We were trying to figure out before
if it was the name of the saint, you and
I were if it was if it was a saint,
if it was an angel. Are those two the same thing?
Speaker 2 (35:53):
Not? Would you like me to saint explain to you?
Speaker 3 (35:57):
What's an archangel?
Speaker 2 (35:58):
An arch angel?
Speaker 5 (35:59):
Yeah? An arch angel, angel that sits on Friends show.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
Angel Like this motherfucker Austin's parents are like, dump her.
She has just equated an archangel with an helf.
Speaker 8 (36:19):
On the mother.
Speaker 2 (36:21):
Faisas the the archangel. There are angels, then there are archangels.
Arch Angels are Are they bigger angels? No?
Speaker 5 (36:31):
They're good.
Speaker 2 (36:32):
There's no such thing as bad angel. A bad angel
is a devil. That's where the devil comes from. No, man,
archangel is just like I'm in charge of a fucking
legion of angels, all the legions of Heaven facing the
forces of hell. That's the movie I always wanted to
make man when I was a kid. Fucking I think
what's his name wants to do it. He wants to
(36:52):
do Scott Dereckson wants to do Paradise Lost, which is
the John Milton version of the War between Heaven and Hell.
What most people think about as like, you know, their
angelic lore of like God cast the angels out, and
you know they became He sent them to Hell and
they became the devils and blah blah blah because they
(37:12):
were too proud. And Lucifer the light Bringer and all
this shit that came from Milton, I ain't even from
the fucking Bible. He was called the light Bringer. Lucifer
was God's greatest angel, the Prince.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
You don't know the ship.
Speaker 2 (37:27):
He was. He is, but his secret origin, his secret villa,
his super villain's secret origin story is that he is
the light Bringer, the God's greatest fucking angel, like the
most perfect creations that God ever wrought, the highest of
(37:48):
all angels, second only to the Lord of Hosts himself.
And then one day God creates Man and says to
the heavenly host, this is my greatest creation. You know,
(38:10):
serve Man and Lucifer was like, no, serve that piece
of shit. No, like I deserve you know, the love,
not them. And the Lord was like, you dare speak
against me the Lord you're a god, Well then I
(38:30):
will cast you out and drop you into the depths.
And Lucifer, you know, spit back at God saying better
to reign in hell than serve in heaven. So fucking
angelic lore has archangels being the highest choir of angels.
(38:51):
Then there's like the Metatron, who is the voice of God,
also an angel, but he was an archangel. So yeah,
so Austin has an archangel at you just chilling?
Speaker 3 (39:03):
He took me on a journey.
Speaker 2 (39:05):
You know, I would love all this shit, but he'd
probably be like, no it, I knew it. I knew
that is Austin Puff. Yeah. Puff would be like, oh
my god, your dad is spitting fucking fact. So he
still has a foot in this Catholicism.
Speaker 4 (39:21):
Yeah, well, his grandma gave him this little guy.
Speaker 3 (39:24):
I can't remember his name. Yeah, he was wearing like
a robe and a hat and he had a little scepter.
But he's not a kid Saint Jude or is he
a pope or something?
Speaker 10 (39:38):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (39:40):
Is it. Is he a little kid? Yeah, the Infant
of Prague. Yeah, yes, Now the Infant of Prague I
had in my house growing up as well.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
It's a little guy.
Speaker 2 (39:55):
It was a little baby version of G's not baby,
but little like yeah, toddler version of Jesus. And the
great thing about him is him come with many different outfits.
He did. He was a statue that has no you're
supposed to change it for every season. So there's purple
for Lent, there's red for Christmas, there's oh yeah, the
(40:18):
Infant of Prague. Now Jesus himself as an infant or
a toddler never went to Prague. That's in like what Czechoslovakia.
But I believe there was a vision of him, just
like you know, the three kids who saw Mary in Fatima,
(40:39):
they saw the vision of the Virgin mother who gave
them the three secrets you know about this shit right
where the virgin mother was like, I'm gonna tell you
this is like the turn of the century. I'm gonna
tell you three kids these three truths that will come
to pass, you know. And she did. And the kids
were never allowed to tell anybody. They were only allowed
to tell the popes, and so they're all three of them.
(41:02):
There were three kids. Two of them are dead. One
of them just died recently. She was like one hundred
and ten years old. And every pope that came into power,
they would have a private meeting with the kids, and
the kids would tell them what the Holy Mother said.
They revealed two of them that were pinpoint true, like
one hundred percent accurate, the Rise of Hitler and something else.
(41:26):
I forget what it is now. The third secret never
been revealed yet.
Speaker 3 (41:32):
Wait, this person was one hundred and ten.
Speaker 2 (41:37):
The youngest kid from Fatima lived to be over one
hundred years old. But she just died recently, fairly recently,
within the last five years, say maybe ten. I want
to say five. What part of this is are you
stumbling over?
Speaker 3 (41:55):
Will you say something about marry?
Speaker 2 (41:58):
They those kids they didn't see an infinite Prague. That's
what in Prague. They saw a vision of Jesus, young Jesus,
these kids in fat Yeah.
Speaker 3 (42:07):
Because well that's that's where my confusion was lying.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Jesus was long dead, Yeah, that was they saw him
in Prague, and Mary was long dead when they saw
and Fatima. So the kids in Fatima, you know, everyone
was like, these fucking kids, they're fucking shepherds are off
in the hills and they saw fucking the Blessed mother. Bullshit.
Then the whole town came and somehow the witness the
miracle of the sun or some shit I forget, the
(42:31):
story proved that she was around and people, maybe more
than just the kids saw and then that's when fucking
people were like, oh my god, the kids are telling
the truth and ship. So one of those kids lived
a long ass time and told I think like ten
different popes what the secret was. And when two of
the secrets came true, the then popes were like, not
(42:53):
for nothing, but one of you remember them Fatima kids,
They told me that Hitler was going to happen.
Speaker 3 (42:59):
So the third one doesn't come true, maybe.
Speaker 2 (43:01):
We could be oh, you know what I'm saying. So
it could be that our blessed mother saw those kids
and she was like, let me tell you something right now,
you know when this is all going to wrap up?
Twenty twenty five, baby, not the.
Speaker 3 (43:15):
Same, But I've been I started watching Halo last night.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Exact thing, same exact thing, the Lord Master Chief, same
exact jee. Honestly, though, if if a messianic figure.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
But honestly a scary prediction of what the future is
A scary ass one.
Speaker 2 (43:40):
Yeah, what do you think the future is going to
look like?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
God?
Speaker 3 (43:43):
I hope not like Halo.
Speaker 5 (43:46):
Still, k it sucks.
Speaker 2 (43:48):
It looks that expensive?
Speaker 3 (43:50):
Oh my god, I hope it does not look like that.
Speaker 1 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:54):
When I was a kid, you know, I thought we'd
have flying cars by now, but that hasn't happened.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
What do you be bad for the birds flying cars?
Speaker 3 (44:06):
We already humans already hit so many animals on the
street and the.
Speaker 5 (44:11):
Bird's territory to not have a flying cars?
Speaker 2 (44:14):
Is the birds? Like you hit me with something? Why?
Because the jetson said it would happen? Okay, I was
promising my cartoon.
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (44:27):
What he is a wookie walkie? He is a rookie,
is a luckie? Birdie is Bertie.
Speaker 5 (44:35):
Yes, Birdie Birdie is.
Speaker 2 (44:38):
Bird Walkie is a.
Speaker 1 (44:42):
Cute.
Speaker 2 (44:43):
I'll do the walk. He's a walk and you come
in with what he is a wookie walkie is a
wuckie work. He is a wookie walkie is a wookie work.
He is a wookie walk He is a wookie. He
is a wookie wok he is a wookie.
Speaker 5 (45:00):
He is a Rookie is a wookie.
Speaker 2 (45:03):
Book is a bookie. Hookie is a wookie.
Speaker 5 (45:07):
Bookie, Cookie is wiki work.
Speaker 2 (45:21):
Birdie's over there in the corner.
Speaker 11 (45:24):
I'll give a fuck, Hey, bird, we were just singing
your praises. She's like story in my life.
Speaker 3 (45:29):
I'm secute, of course sing her other.
Speaker 2 (45:32):
Song, which is.
Speaker 11 (45:36):
I'm just a way of wacky because I'm Wacky's puppy.
My name is BIRDO. Have you heard I like to
play real?
Speaker 5 (45:44):
Roughly?
Speaker 2 (45:58):
This has been a podcast production. It's podcast podcast using
our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids,
did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what.
We've got tons more, man thousands of hours of podcasts
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(46:19):
up now.
Hosts And Creators
Harley Quinn Smith
Kevin Smith