The Final Home Show

Kevin learns of a familial connection to a serial killer and Harley has a stray cat story. PLUS: Biting Bill!

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:23):
Welcome bye.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
It looks like you were really constipated.

Speaker 3 (00:35):
I'm trying to take a sure to Beardless Dickless.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Me for the second to last ever.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
I'm Kevin Smith.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
Like the young beardless dicklas Moa just said, kids, this
second to last ever episode of Beardless Dickless is happening for.

Speaker 1 (00:58):
The last ever time.

Speaker 3 (01:00):
I'm in what we claimed as the podcast room. We
spent a year in this room getting to know each other.

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Not really, I didn't know you before this.

Speaker 3 (01:09):
Did you learn anything over the course of the show.
For those who come in later are like, what do
you mean? What? What's going on? This is the second
to last episode of Beardless Dickless Me, hosted by my
fart good folks at I fart at Heart, which somebody
the other day I was talking to. We were in

(01:32):
a place and there was a very conservative radio station
on in which there was an ad urging of folks
to self deport. I have never heard this, and I
was I had to say it out loud, like this
is fucking are you here? And person I was with

(01:53):
was like, oh, they always they always do that. That
ad runs a lot, and I was like, I guess
I don't listen to radio at all.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
Us it on.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
And they said, when you listen, because they got a
lot of complaint. And then finally it outed that it
wasn't the radio station playing the ad, it was the
app through which they were listening to the radio station. Yes,
so they tend digress Lean. We still got two more

(02:30):
shows and then I don't know what happens in a
world where they're look the funk out of here? Did
they leave them all there? Or are they they're on
our server? Actually now they think about it, Yeah, like
we house them sound like they I mean literally, what
did they do? Put conservative ads on the podcast?

Speaker 2 (02:50):
Probably that we don't even make the money off exactly.

Speaker 1 (02:54):
I mean the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
That's fucking crazy.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
But remember that servo out of the k t L
A fucking you know brew haha, that I went through
last year where I was like, oh my god, I'm
gonna be on AM radio and then but yeah, but
you know.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
What, don't any don't ever let anyone.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Hear you complain hardly, not even yourself. Marcus Aurelius said
that it's true, what are you gonna do? We had
we we did a thing it's done, and it's not
like I'm like and I regret everything about like we're
just not doing it there anymore. And it led to
a cooler thing. And uh, I'm sure we picked up
a fan or two along the way.

Speaker 2 (03:31):
You better not be any crazy ads on our show.

Speaker 1 (03:34):
Is that where you're stuck at? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (03:36):
I was trying to get all sat about of nostalgic
about the end. You're like, let me tell you about
these ihearts.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
I spent a long time on that survey.

Speaker 3 (03:45):
Tell them what survey you're talking about? Would those who
may be like, well, survey what's going on?

Speaker 2 (03:50):
When we first started the show, we were sent to
survey of what ads we would like to be run
on our on our.

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Show, since iHeart was the parent for where the podcast
was going to be hosted. And they were like, would
you like to do live ad reads? And I'm like, yeah, sure,
and they're like, and of the ads that can be
run on your show, here is a handy, handy survey
to check all these things like what to stay away
from in case you don't want to.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Promote my checked.

Speaker 3 (04:20):
Harley took this so seriously. I think, what did I
The only boy I was like no booze, and then
I erased that and was like, all booze. Yeah there was,
I think, but I did go like politics liberal, like
or because it gave you a box. But for any advertising,
I'm like, oh I give a shit, Harley like spent

(04:42):
three days on it, going through the survey, like checking
boxes and stuff and handed hers and I'm sure the
people at I heart looked at mine, looked at yours,
and I'm like, go by his because there were so
few restrictions. But again I wasn't. I wasn't like, go
out and fucking put uncomfortable ad on the thing. But
apparently they in the survey, they were like, there was

(05:04):
a lot of that's I guess that's where most of
the money in radio comes from now is right leaning.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
If those ads are somehow playing on our show, I apologize.

Speaker 4 (05:17):
Good go boo boo boo, and now where we said
if those speaking of boo, which is very close.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
To that's a big news for Bill.

Speaker 3 (05:36):
Bill fans or big news.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
For Bill, big news regarding Bill, some big Bill news.

Speaker 3 (05:41):
Kids, It's hold on, I'm getting a text from my heart.
This big Bill news makes us change our minds.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
Please stay You're reaching.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
The youth market. Please, this bill bit is putting you
on par with Who's Your fucking Daddy? It's just not
what's the Big Bill News? I wish we had a
theme song. Next incarnation of the show Kids is going
to be a lot more post produced, and somebody far

(06:10):
more clever than I who has time to do this,
will put in like cool special effects and sound so
it'll be like Big Bill News and you'll hear like, man,
what is the Big Bill News? All right? So okay,
I got Big Bill News? Watch this motherfucker brought my
kid yesterday. I was like, listen here.

Speaker 2 (06:32):
For that's part of the story, is it. Well, that's
a small tidbit anyways, tid Bill. The other night, Bill
thumped for eight hours straight. If you're not familiar, when
rabbits are upset or trying to communicate something, they thump

(06:55):
their back feet on the floor.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
So they that's never for joy, like I'm such a
good No, it's always.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Like m h yes, exactly, absolutely, And Bill doesn't thump
that often. I rarely hear Bill thump. And Bill thumped.

Speaker 3 (07:17):
Without touching, perhaps a wound that has yet to heal.
The late Great Cinnamon War went out for her. Was
there a lot of thumping there?

Speaker 1 (07:30):
She?

Speaker 2 (07:31):
Uh? She on the occasion.

Speaker 3 (07:35):
So who thumps more? Cinnamon thumped more than Bill.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Yeah, Sinna had some had some things she had to
get off her chest sometimes.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
Really every time she thumped, to her like what, and
she was.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
Basically yeah, I'd look under the bed and be like
what she'd be like, but she didn't.

Speaker 4 (08:00):
She uh no.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
Well think we ever like, oh my god, you got
it like carrot?

Speaker 1 (08:06):
Carrot?

Speaker 3 (08:07):
Never carrot.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
She was like, yeah, thank you another cat.

Speaker 3 (08:12):
The way, Bill is not the mad thumper that Cinnamon was.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
No, he was a mad humper.

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Mad Humper's true.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
We resolved that issue.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Bill was trying to stick little Bill anyway, don't call
it that in Fugging Cats Furniture nightmare his own mouth.
So wait, what is so Bill thumping? That's new behavior?
That's why it's Austin.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
Claims that he hears the occasional thumb. But this was for
eight hours straight, so loud that it woke me up
multiple times.

Speaker 3 (08:48):
Maybe he was auditioning, No, he's auditioning. Maybe had a
self tape for a Whiplash sequel. No, no, maybe they're
making a sequel to Backbeat, the movie from the ninth
about the formation of the Beatles and Stuart Sutcliffe, the
drummer who was left behind in Germany.

Speaker 2 (09:04):
Exactly what's happening. Actually, that's exactly what Bill was trying
to communicate.

Speaker 3 (09:11):
He's like, I watch you fucker's self tape all day long.
Let me show you how it's done. He did any
perfectly reenacts the scene from Whiplash where JK Slim Simmons
slaps the ship out of fucking mind. Slimmons did get
Slim and then he got JK fucking.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Gun show.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
He really did. But uh, that other boy, fucking Miles.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (09:43):
They both seem like like those kinds of actors that
I never worked with, And not that I never work with.
I have worked with some of them, but generally they
you know, harness that stuff when they do a Kevin
Smith movie because it's not required, but the actors that.

Speaker 1 (09:57):
Take it way.

Speaker 3 (10:00):
Seriously to the point where I would bet JK. Simmons
slapped Miles Teller and not without Miles Teller be like,
I want you to fucking hit me, like I want
you to bring it like. They seemed like those kind
of actors which to be fair.

Speaker 2 (10:16):
We don't know that for sure.

Speaker 3 (10:18):
Damn, I'm gonna take a guess.

Speaker 1 (10:21):
To be fair.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
At mad Damon is also a guy he's but not
like but he's very treats it seriously. I'm not saying
all the other actors don't treat it seriously. They do,
but there are some that are like, who's that boy
who is on succession Jeremy Strong, very intense lad? For example,
poor him play. I was a moderator for a panel

(10:44):
this weekend a comic con in which Jared Leto was
a participant. Ah, yes, what an intense young lad. When
I say young lad, it's because when you look at him,
you're like, oh, this guy can't be but like maybe
twenty five.

Speaker 2 (11:00):
Oh really, When I look at him, I'm like, oh
look it's Jesus that too.

Speaker 3 (11:04):
There was a bit of that, but you know, because
I was about to do a panel and they're like,
come say hi to all the people on the panel.
They want to meet you. What is he brought me
over to tron aries. He is literally the aries in
tron Aries. He is tron colones. He's not the colon
or tron he's the areas. Oh I thought he was
they were like, well, ask some people online. They'll be

(11:25):
quick to tell you he is. So they're like, come
meet the panelis and the tron panel had like one
hundred and eighty six actors, like way too many. I
had done Predator bad Lands and you know, we had
two actors. It was fucking great. But Preder bad Lands
is kind of a two hander.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
You don't actually meet one hundred and eighty six but no, but.

Speaker 3 (11:46):
Ten, okay, like fucking ten actors on a panel of
forty five minutes.

Speaker 2 (11:53):
That is a lot.

Speaker 3 (11:53):
Fifteen of those minutes his clips. It's just like, why
did you bring all these people? But you know they're
all and I'm not saying they're like I don't, they're
all great, but you know everyone gets one question. If
that you got to you got twenty seconds to shine
and then we're like, hey man, look at this fuck
off clip. And everyone in that room. As much as
like we love famous people, they are there to see

(12:14):
fucking footage. Like on prayer A bad Lands they showed
the opening fifteen fucking minutes straight up, unedited some of
the shots unfinished. Well, I played a little role in
that because I was like, you should show like because
they were like, I was like, what are you gonna
show comic on They're like, we're tossing that around. Like
at one point, like we were thought about doing the
opening fifteen minutes, but it's not done. I was like,

(12:34):
you be insane not to do the opening fifteen minutes
because it is fucking astounding, and it also sets the
tone and tells you what the exact movie is without
ruining the rest of the movie, because it's almost a
standalone mini movie. Dan Jock DeBerg, the director, was like,
you know what, man, I think you just pushed this
in the direction We've been talking about this, and so
they showed the first fifteen minutes played fucking huge, even

(12:56):
like yeah, they put up a little video about like
it's ain't finished and there's some shots that are gonna
look like this, like they hedge their bets and stuff
because it's Disney, they could spend that kind of money.
Tron Airs just put up whole finished sequences of what
I can only describe as money, Like they just showed
look at all the fucking money fucking tron and how

(13:19):
expensive it is. It is nuts and with that fucking
driving nine inch nails because nine inch Nails did four
new songs.

Speaker 2 (13:26):
I forgot about.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
I can't do it, but oh my god, it was
pretty like pretty fucking like they they knew what they
were doing. Disney, we really know how to market.

Speaker 2 (13:39):
What would you say?

Speaker 3 (13:41):
But I saw he showed me the whole movie, and
it's wonderful and honestly my favorite Predator movie. That being said,
I've never been like the biggest Predator guy, but I
have seen them all ever since I saw the first
one in a movie theater I now own called Moncastle Cinemas,
where me and Harley will be this.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Weekend, thank you very much.

Speaker 3 (13:58):
On Sunday, third Man, watch the final episode of Beardless
Dickless Me Live. It's my Gaszle Cinemas. The day after
I turned fifty five. I'll be fifty five.

Speaker 1 (14:09):
In one day.

Speaker 4 (14:12):
Oh yeah, fucking that's why we said you're to private school.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
I tell you that good will hunting level.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Man. I thought you said you would be fifty in
one day, and I was like, no, one day and one.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Day Beardless Stickless Me Live on stage.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
It's my Gazle Cinemas. August third tickets selling very well. Tickets,
so we are in our daughter fifty right now, one
hundred and fifty people in the audience. I'm praying to
God because they're leaving breathing bodies and not people sympathy
buying tickets and home like yeah, just like one one one,
because he sees you going like watching it obsessively.

Speaker 2 (14:48):
He sees me texting Ernie every single morning.

Speaker 1 (14:50):
Hey, he's like, I gotta do this.

Speaker 3 (14:52):
There's one you know, I should check. I almost did
this before. There's one fucking ticket I'm trying to sell.
I got a gig tomorrow night at the music Hall
in New Hampshire. It's called the Music Hall in Portsmouth,
New Hampshire, and there is one goddamn ticket left them

(15:13):
clicking buying buy tickets. Let me see if it's still available.

Speaker 2 (15:16):
Oh my god, Oh yeah.

Speaker 3 (15:18):
Piece of shit. Oh wait, why not? Somebody brought their
tickets back. Now I gotta fucking promote this ship again.
It never ends.

Speaker 2 (15:28):
You never stump.

Speaker 3 (15:29):
All right, So wait a second, what was I the
fuck was I talking?

Speaker 1 (15:33):
Now?

Speaker 2 (15:33):
We even knows, oh Castle Cinemas.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Yeah, why did I fucking.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Because you saw a predator there? Yes, And I don't know,
but I didn't finish my big bill news.

Speaker 3 (15:48):
I'm going to get back. Okay, there was going to
there and we were talking lying beerless yeah, because I
was like, blah blahla on Sunday, I'll be back east
doing beerdless sickness meanlife, yeah, and I I guess it
got into it at in any event to take us
a way back, I'm at comic Con and they're like,

(16:08):
come meet the panelist, and I go meet the panelists
and who already you know what is it but a
bunch of actors who haven't seen each other since they
wrapped the movie a year ago, So guess who they're
interested in talking to fucking each other. So I'm standing
there like a dick while they're talking to each other
and shit, and I'm like, I don't need to meet anybody.
I'm gonna talk to them for the next hour up
on stage. But then somebody comes over and says, would

(16:32):
you mind coming outside and speaking to Jared? And I
was like, sorry, Jared's not here, like he's outside, and
I was like, yeah, totally, And I went outside and
held court with mister blue Eyes himself, Old blue Eyes,
Young blue Eyes, who I stood across from and was
able to study and saw no hint of any work

(16:54):
like that's just good jeans. But then looked up how
old he was?

Speaker 2 (17:00):
How old is he?

Speaker 1 (17:01):
We are the same age?

Speaker 3 (17:03):
Can you believe that?

Speaker 2 (17:04):
No, you're the same age.

Speaker 3 (17:06):
Yeah, I'm gonna look it up right now. If I'm
maybe he's like fucking a minute off, maybe he's like
a year younger. But I was flat burn gasted.

Speaker 2 (17:16):
Oh my god, no way, Jared let him. I'm the
joker a bunch of people.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
Online, fucking fifty three. He was born December twenty sixth,
nineteen seventy one. He's literally your mom's age because she
was nineteen seventy one. And let me tell you something.
I have seen this intense young actor man very up close,
and he looks like a fucking.

Speaker 1 (17:45):
Kid like he does an age. It's fucked up.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
And he was very intent, and I got to.

Speaker 2 (17:49):
Tell him, why do you ask to talk to you outside?

Speaker 1 (17:52):
No idea?

Speaker 2 (17:53):
That's so scary.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
How are you? I just wanted to say, how are you?
Thank you for doing this? And I was like, oh
my god, no worries, man, that's gonna be fun. I say, hey, man,
give me a chance to tell you though I said
no bullshit. Every other month, me and my wife watch
We Crashed, which is the we Work miniseries he did
for Apple, Him and Anne Hathaway, which if you haven't
seen it, you're not living fucking life in a world

(18:16):
of binging and shit binge. That I if there was
ever a you know, Rocky hor picture show version of
that with like we're just showing We Crashed, and every
audience yells out lines and throws toast and fucking water
pistols first and en, oh my god, that you want
to talk about two insanely committed performances and and and

(18:41):
oddly enough cast in a way where like, I'm not
you know that everybody has fans and haters, but let's
be honest, Anne Hathaway has an inordinate amount of people
at one point who are rooting against her for whatever reason.
She is playing somebody that you want to root against
who existed in real life and shit and because of
that in some weird way, And again, I was never

(19:03):
a person had anything wrong, like I had no beef
for then Hathaway. Whatsoever you want to win an Oscar,
to go win an Oscar man, that's called ambition.

Speaker 1 (19:09):
Go for her.

Speaker 3 (19:10):
True, But if there was any sin she needed to
wash away I feel like that movie is a baptism
for her, because it's almost like she gets to, you know, like, fucking,
I'm leaving all that shit behind on the shoulders of
a character I played called Rebecca Newman, who happens to

(19:30):
be based on somebody who really existed. Her performance is transcended.
His performance too, is really with it. Both of them
together are It's fuck. I can't even explain it.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
What a glowing review.

Speaker 3 (19:42):
I love to watch them because they just it's like
two people who It's like watching Harry Potter and Voldemort
fight with wands, but like, look at this over the
top two fucking magicians acting at each other but with
each other. A spell binding. So I got to tell
him that. What do you think his reaction was?

Speaker 2 (20:04):
Did he forget he did it?

Speaker 1 (20:05):
Or thanks?

Speaker 3 (20:08):
He's a very intense young man. You would imagine like
normal people would be like, oh my god, I haven't
thought of that, and like, ta, when did I do
that ten years ago? Really?

Speaker 1 (20:16):
Well that's wild man, thank you?

Speaker 3 (20:17):
But yeah, really I didn't know if he was just like,
I don't think we should have this guy as the moderator.
And then when I was up there, I said, it's
morbid time and he looked morbified.

Speaker 2 (20:31):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (20:32):
Yeah, there was no sense of humor about that. So
I don't know if I'll be back for Panels. I
love the Disney people, man. I had a good time.

Speaker 1 (20:40):
But in any event, that Jared Letto.

Speaker 3 (20:43):
Boy very intense actor. So there are some actors that
are very you know, fucking like. That's how we got
to Jared Leto And that was off of Bill somehow.

Speaker 1 (20:55):
Oh yes, because.

Speaker 3 (20:56):
Bill was studying under the bed for auditions.

Speaker 2 (21:02):
Wow wow, wow, wow, what a departure.

Speaker 3 (21:07):
I also got to sell some tickets while I was
at it. Don't forget kids tickets Moncastle Cinemas. Watch this happen.
Watch you're not even watching it right now unless you're
a member of that Kevin Smith club that Kim has
been called dot com where you can see Beardless Stickless
Met the show that's about to end, but you can
watch all the other episodes that we ever did regardless
you want us see us.

Speaker 1 (21:27):
Do this in the real world and shit, a girl
in her dad.

Speaker 3 (21:31):
On stage looking for money.

Speaker 2 (21:35):
That's what the show should have been called.

Speaker 1 (21:36):
There.

Speaker 3 (21:36):
It is a little honesty up for tickets. It's mocastle
cinemas dot com right now or c spot dot com
in any event. Back to the riffting tale of Bill.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
This is what's gonna save our show with our.

Speaker 3 (21:51):
Show with a Bill story.

Speaker 1 (21:53):
So Bill, I want some more bs Bill. Bill.

Speaker 2 (21:59):
He's thumping all night long, and then you come over
the next day.

Speaker 1 (22:04):
He's like, my name Bill, and I'm here to fomp.

Speaker 3 (22:07):
I want thomp.

Speaker 2 (22:09):
If you are watching, you can see the discussions till
my face I like to fall. Anyways, you come over
the next day and then you make a little throwaway joke.
Maybe he was trying to tell you about an earthquake.

Speaker 3 (22:26):
Yes, because animals, as we all know, yes, no, something's
gonna happen in nature before we.

Speaker 2 (22:33):
But you were like ha, like yeah, well.

Speaker 1 (22:36):
No, it wasn't.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
Honestly, I'm not trying to seem like a fucking prognosticator
of some sort. But it was not one hundred percent
like fucking haha. That was like animals do fucking But
it was a throwaway. It wasn't throw away in as
much as I wasn't like Harley sit down.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
Well in nature.

Speaker 2 (22:56):
Later later I.

Speaker 1 (22:59):
Message because I was going to rabbit splain your bunny
to you.

Speaker 2 (23:03):
Well, I asked someone to rabbit rabbit splain.

Speaker 1 (23:06):
For me, did you?

Speaker 2 (23:07):
I messaged the Los Angeles Rabbit Foundation. That's a thing, yes,
an organization.

Speaker 3 (23:12):
I've rabbit found it.

Speaker 2 (23:16):
Indeed, I've I have, you know, known them for quite
some time. And I and I wanted to speak to
an expert, and so I asked like, do you know
why you might have been thumping for eight hours straight
under the bed? And they were like, well, indoor rabbits

(23:37):
don't really sump because of a threat outside rabbits to
but since there are no predators in the inside.

Speaker 3 (23:45):
Besides, did you mention cats, one of which she became
very low? Love each other?

Speaker 2 (23:52):
And who are you referring to?

Speaker 1 (24:00):
Elastic side? Bow by? Passed me pass another to talk?

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Oh by bye, dad, wakild I say anything to walk
right now?

Speaker 3 (24:15):
Okie was always that way. She's big plus wookie plus
a mother.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Oh, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Moves like you try fucking let me when you have
kids with your fucking man. You tell me how fast
you can lose the weight, But fucking move man.

Speaker 2 (24:33):
Move was a healthy size. He's a big.

Speaker 3 (24:38):
I'll go job troll.

Speaker 1 (24:42):
I'll back it up. I'll back it up.

Speaker 2 (24:47):
Okay, I like that one.

Speaker 1 (24:49):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (24:50):
So, so normally a rabbit wooden thump indoors unless a
while around. Do you have a wild rabbit?

Speaker 2 (24:58):
No, but they were saying.

Speaker 3 (25:00):
In the wild, yes, thump unless they're.

Speaker 1 (25:02):
Like fuck off.

Speaker 2 (25:02):
Yes, but domestic rabbits because they're a different species though
for a different reason. Yeah, there's not really so many
threats on the inside, so they're trying to communicate something else.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
I would argue, the biggest threat is always on the inside.
A rabbit build with self doubt, so.

Speaker 2 (25:18):
True, ABU without confidence, I.

Speaker 1 (25:21):
Can't get ahead.

Speaker 3 (25:21):
It's got to be me. No, that's being defeated by
the something on the inside. No.

Speaker 2 (25:28):
Bill loves himself. Yeah, Bill believes in himself. I hype
him up every day.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Very forward with my daughter's hand and almost face.

Speaker 1 (25:38):
All right.

Speaker 3 (25:39):
So anyways, yeah, we'll talk about that next.

Speaker 2 (25:42):
The Los Angeles Rabbit Foundation l LARV messaged me back
and said he could have been anticipating in earthquake, and
I was like, whoa. And then the Hugers quake happened
in Russia that sent a tsunami over here, And all

(26:03):
I'm saying is I think that you predicted the tsunami.

Speaker 1 (26:07):
It's all connected.

Speaker 3 (26:09):
Look, I'm happy for you to tell that story because
it does put a little shine.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
On me looking smart.

Speaker 3 (26:16):
Now me and Bill are connected. I was about to
connect with Bill in as much as I was going
to corporally punish him, throw my hand onto his not
bare bottom, because there's a lot of fucking fur there.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
You laid a hand on beat.

Speaker 3 (26:34):
Well, he laid a hand on you. He bit you,
did he not? He went to hand like that.

Speaker 2 (26:42):
It wasn't a hard bite it.

Speaker 1 (26:44):
Let me tell you.

Speaker 3 (26:46):
That happens. Let me tell you something. Anybody bites you,
they're going to have to answer to somebody that I
hire to threaten them physically, because I'm not very comfortable now.
Anybody that fucking hurt you has to hear from me.
I don't give a fuck if they're cute and furry.
That's how domestic abusers get away with it. You don't

(27:08):
this spectrum shit and this fucking bunny. One bite and
then he also went for your face.

Speaker 1 (27:13):
No he did not, he went like this.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
No I was.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
I was nuzzling him and.

Speaker 3 (27:18):
You went like this because he made a fast movement.

Speaker 1 (27:21):
You were afraid he.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
Was going made this part up. Yeah, I thought was
trying to get off my bird market.

Speaker 1 (27:29):
He's just like.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
We watched it fucking documentary last night, me and your.

Speaker 1 (27:35):
Mom my Bill and.

Speaker 3 (27:39):
It was about the son of Sam on Netflix, and
I learned some shit. I've been alive since that shit happened,
right like I remember it happening. I remember watching the
news every night with my father and my mom and
then being like the forty four caliber killer, you know,
strikes again and shit like that. So as we're watching it,

(28:00):
they I'm learning shit I never knew before, Like, this
was a really good documentary and shit, there were details
I had not known heretofore. For example, for him play.

Speaker 2 (28:08):
Yes, excuse me, Play excuse me?

Speaker 3 (28:17):
Where my father famously amongst anyone who gives a shit
who listened to me over the last thirty two years plus,
uh worked at the post office, Yes, thirty one years. Sorry,
I was adding a year. There was adding a year
to the year that we made clerks. But nobody knows

(28:38):
me until it comes out.

Speaker 2 (28:39):
So thank you for theification.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
WHA.

Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yeah, I was wondering.

Speaker 3 (28:43):
Until ninety four. Until January of ninety four, it's it's
all BC. Yes, we know what it stands for So
David Berkowitz, uh sorted mail at the United States Post Office. Literally,
like my father had the exact same job as my father.
And this whole fucking time I've been alive and known
about the son Sam and whatnot, including the days when

(29:08):
my father was alive and having like minimal conversations with
me because you know, we didn't fucking engage like you
and I engage in ship. My father was ha.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Nice always, that's what fucking Austin does that all the time,
except he does it. He absolutely hears what I say,
but he wants more time to think of a response,
so he's like.

Speaker 1 (29:30):
You think he's stalling. Huh.

Speaker 3 (29:32):
Yeah, all the father didn't have bad hearings, so it
wasn't that. Hey Dad, ha, Dad, do you want to
did you did you did you read the thing that
mom the mom? Did you read the note that the
mom left the mom? Did you read the note the
mom left on the fridge?

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Ha?

Speaker 3 (29:51):
That's so puttany but in any.

Speaker 2 (29:53):
Event, you should make a movie about his life and
call it.

Speaker 3 (29:55):
Home the Old Man and did the same job as
David Berkowitz. That being said, that's not the important part.
Here's the important part, Okay, in the dock, what you
found out? I didn't know this part. His birth story

(30:17):
is his mom dies and his dad gives him up,
and then he's raised by two very wonderful, loving parents.
But in this prison interview he does he's talking about like,
and this is after you find out and so here.
So everything's hunky dory until the age of seven, when
his father tells him you're adopted and your mother died

(30:40):
in childbirth and that that's why your father gave you up,
couldn't handle you by himself, and that's where we pound
and we love you and blah blah blah. But for
some reason he felt like the need to be honest
with the kid. At age seven, Well, this is where
it all begins, because suddenly he has this kind of
disconnect from his family because he's like, I don't know
who the fuck I am now, Like everything I believed

(31:03):
was true is a fucking lie. And even though he
loves his mother and this is the only mother he's
ever known, he starts rebelling in weird ways to the
ways he did. He's like, I would cut holes in
her clothes and I would cut her bras and never
say anything or I would take her lipstick and I

(31:23):
would roll them all the way up and then I
would break it off and then close it, put them down,
all these like very not even passive aggressive aggressive aggressive,
little microaggressions. Yeah, and then what happens is he like
his mom dies as his mom is an adopted mom dies,

(31:45):
and then his dad gets remarried and moves away and
he's just kind of left in New York and stuff.
He's a smart kid, and he's he's one of these
dual personalities jackal and Hyde presents to everybody. He's like,
hey man, I were you, but inside he's just like
one day I'll get to kill and then finally did.
And once you start and if you watch it, like
you know, fucking uh Jennifer whoa well I was. I

(32:13):
was trying to find a cute nickname for a while.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
It was like, let me just go.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
Your but Jennifer was like, you know, you take away
the glamour and it being the seventies and then blowing
them up into like you know, the son of the
Sam and blah blah blah, just going this is a
pretty standard story. He's just a woman hater kid who
just say did women and fucking grew up hating women
and eventually just that's all he wanted to kill was women,

(32:36):
And then he eventually all he killed was brunette women.

Speaker 2 (32:40):
Oh my was his mom? Brunette?

Speaker 3 (32:44):
Now the fuck is weeping?

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Be weep? Be we?

Speaker 1 (32:50):
Who would that?

Speaker 2 (32:51):
I don't know? Someone to the door?

Speaker 3 (32:55):
Is it?

Speaker 1 (32:56):
Be?

Speaker 3 (32:56):
What? This isn't? This is why I fucking I heart
get rid of us like a bunch of folks on
somebody is there?

Speaker 2 (33:10):
Who is it? I'm not answering it is.

Speaker 3 (33:13):
That, Chelsea.

Speaker 2 (33:15):
I'll tell more stories about be if.

Speaker 3 (33:18):
You want to go look yeah, well yeah, go ahead
and and for now enjoy the stories of Since it's
the last episode, go ahead, you do.

Speaker 2 (33:33):
I've been waiting for this moment for you, Okay, So
lately I've been picking you up. Lately, I've been picking
you up. Oh my god. Now that he's gone, I
can say everything I've ever wanted to say. No, I'm kidding,
but am I? I never get this much freedom and

(33:57):
space anyways? So back to be No, should I talk
about you? Or should I talk about move? Well, I'll
talk about all of them. So I've been picking up.
But I guess I could say it's the camera. I've
been talking about be and he's been Simon didn't really

(34:18):
Simon didn't really lick me that much. She actually only
licked me one time in our entire tenure relationship. But
I won't take it to heart. But Bill licks me
all the time and it's so sweet and it's little kisses.

Speaker 3 (34:36):
How'd you do?

Speaker 2 (34:39):
Not talking about you?

Speaker 3 (34:40):
What's that.

Speaker 2 (34:43):
You've got a gift from who?

Speaker 1 (34:52):
I'd rather not say.

Speaker 3 (34:53):
No, I'm not quite sure.

Speaker 1 (34:55):
I think.

Speaker 3 (34:58):
So.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
You just brought in a mysterious box.

Speaker 1 (35:02):
Well, it does have my name on it. You give
me the card?

Speaker 2 (35:04):
Yeah, what the hell.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
You're gonna open it?

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (35:09):
What if it's gotten like Anthra accent or something.

Speaker 1 (35:17):
It's from Bill sends.

Speaker 2 (35:20):
It dear Grandpa. No, it's from MoU Are your birthday?

Speaker 1 (35:25):
Giam?

Speaker 2 (35:26):
Balls from Moos?

Speaker 1 (35:27):
Like you know you weren't always either by a ball somebody?

Speaker 3 (35:31):
Are your comments? Yeah, we're all little thick in this
family with two sas well.

Speaker 2 (35:40):
It's a mom, the skinniest person in the world. Anyways,
it's from boy Jordan.

Speaker 3 (35:46):
Oh, that's what Lyndon Entertainment is.

Speaker 2 (35:50):
Are you going to open it?

Speaker 3 (35:52):
Happy birthday? Kept me the next fifty five. Tick bye
with continued style, creativity and on your own time. Boy Jordan,
how lovely he knows I'm leaving. That's what Lyndon Entertainment is.
You don't know the name of his No, and you
know what that proves that I'm with him? So true
because he's jumped two different places jump ship twice and

(36:15):
I've gone.

Speaker 1 (36:15):
With him each time. I don't even know the name
of the place.

Speaker 3 (36:19):
I followed a quality of the of the fucking person.
So true, brand whore and ship like that. But good
to know.

Speaker 1 (36:26):
You'd be weird, Cameron.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
It's glad I know who it was, man, I mean
was that I gotta I gotta text him, be like
who brought that? She said, I'm Brie, and I was like,
but I'm trying to remember if I ever dealt with Brie.
That is old assistant. His current assistant is Harrison.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
I know all his details.

Speaker 3 (36:52):
Yeah. People are like, all right, I'm call his office
and be like, oh, Harrison, I was friends with pre.

Speaker 1 (37:00):
Be familiar.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
No, I'm just a listener, a beardless dick miss me
and before they left, they gave me the key to guitar.
Hollywood Spider, I have been uh, working on a Marvel
thing with Andy mckelfish, and so there's been a lot
of yes, Spider as we just sit there and do ship.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
That's cute. Than maybe that's a funny.

Speaker 3 (37:24):
Bit that we that came out of like, you know,
fucking just conversation that made me laugh and made him laugh.
So I was like, let's open the comic with it.
It's kind of funny and it's you know what, you
know what I'm gonna talk about here. I'm gonna save
it for the after show.

Speaker 1 (37:41):
Oh my heart, don't get this.

Speaker 3 (37:45):
Now. The audience is like, we're not our heart, don't
punish us. Well, you're not being punished. Go to Beardless,
go to that Kevinsmith club dot com. You can listen
to and see Beardless Stickless plus the after show. And
you're like, what, there's an after show. There's barely a
show show.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
Well, Wow, there's more after this.

Speaker 1 (38:01):
Guess what if you were like that was disappointing, There's even.

Speaker 3 (38:03):
More and I'll talk about it there on the Last
ever plistic. Please all right, did you finish your bill story?

Speaker 2 (38:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (38:18):
The story stylings of Hartley quin Smith, Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you, how'd you do in my absence?

Speaker 2 (38:26):
I was just filling them in how in cinnamon and
ized time together?

Speaker 1 (38:30):
I tried to tell them about Mark, but did I barbed.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
I'm so nervous. I don't know what to do without you.
I was like you up here, like about even the show?

Speaker 1 (38:47):
What will you do.

Speaker 3 (38:49):
With all your free time now that these shows coming
to an end?

Speaker 2 (38:54):
What a good question? All the other things, music, acting, writing,
the other thing we're doing?

Speaker 3 (39:05):
Hi, diddle d d an actor's life with me? Fancy car?

Speaker 2 (39:15):
What will you do without our show?

Speaker 1 (39:19):
Start a new one?

Speaker 2 (39:21):
Amen?

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Life is a series of podcasts.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Oh true?

Speaker 3 (39:28):
You record one and another another. And one day, Hi,
I knew you were going to say that, yeah we
this beard Listic was me is that it's crazy how
many folks are coming out of the woodwork. And I
don't mean like enough to save the fucking show, because
I don't know how I save a show that was
never in jeopardy. Just one diehards like we're not going
to renew season two, and we were like, what is

(39:48):
the what did you do for season one?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
What is different?

Speaker 3 (39:54):
What are you being? It's not like they had to
pay us more money. They never paid using except when
they put ads on the show, which we've now come
to find out very But in any event, yes, it's
all coming to a conclusion, and that gives one a
moment to reflect and and it also gives one moment

(40:20):
if this is the last show, we should be able
to give them a passion.

Speaker 2 (40:25):
And oh yeah, I was thinking that. I was thinking
that you might.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
Have been thinking it.

Speaker 3 (40:29):
But but you come prepared for it.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
I can do it on the spot, do you think so?

Speaker 3 (40:34):
Yeah, can make it up. Where are we right now?

Speaker 1 (40:38):
Forty one minute mark? God, damn it?

Speaker 2 (40:41):
B what clock union? Glasses?

Speaker 1 (40:43):
Real bad? Honestly, you're not wrong. I used to wear glasses.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
If you look at every fucking photo of me wondering
when Meghan left, but not even when Meghan joined me.
After cop out is when I slowly started moving away
from glasses.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Do you know why?

Speaker 2 (40:59):
Because she was driving around you? But now you drive?

Speaker 1 (41:03):
Yeah? Well when when well, no, but not after after
it was Megan.

Speaker 3 (41:07):
Then Ashley drove for a while. Yeah. After Ashley left,
then I started driving again, and I realize I.

Speaker 1 (41:12):
Don't really need my glances.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
I don't for like, you know.

Speaker 1 (41:17):
I'm good.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
You are already the most questionable driver I've ever known.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
What do you mean questionable?

Speaker 2 (41:23):
I mean exactly what I.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
Said, but like define questionable.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Questionable decisions, dangerous decisions, reckless decisions, have anything to say
about it?

Speaker 3 (41:40):
I drive Jersey. Nobody ever gets hurt on my watch.
It's tough to feel, yeah, wood until they do, but
tough to you know, feel like I'm doing it wrong.

Speaker 2 (41:51):
Most family members will not get in the car with you.
And that's facts.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
The fucking taught me in the booby hatch that I
can control my feelings, I can't control yours. So you're
one of those hystericals that get in my car and like, oh,
that's on you. Your mom still fucking gets on my
dick about it. Yeah, where I'm like, we've been doing
this together for a fucking.

Speaker 2 (42:20):
I braced myself every time.

Speaker 3 (42:22):
How old's the kid? Twenty six so twenty seven years
you've been driving with me? How many accents you've been
That's what I say, and then she goes.

Speaker 4 (42:32):
Fuck, you know.

Speaker 3 (42:37):
Shit, I've been in an accident? Yeah, yeah, where I've
gotten hit, Not for anything I've done. Somebody who ran
a light and hit me, tee bone me right fucking on.

Speaker 2 (42:45):
I know because I now feel that's a cursed street
because you and Mom both gotten accidents on separate occasions
on Gardener.

Speaker 3 (42:52):
I remember going over to like, oh my god, how
can I help, and helping mom out When I called
mom to be like I got an accident Gardener, like,
oh my god, all right, well, i'll see you when
you get home.

Speaker 2 (43:02):
I'm like, I have a lot to say on the matter,
but I won't.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
It's look, I learned at an early age that not
everyone is me and you, And that doesn't mean like
we're that cherl never one sucks, but you and I
are broken individuals inasmuch as we over deliver for whatever
fucking reason.

Speaker 1 (43:27):
There are people in.

Speaker 3 (43:27):
This world who will deliver exactly what's expected of them.
There are people in this world who won't deliver at all,
And then there are people like us who will over
deliver to a fault. And because of that, you learn
early on to not expect it from anybody else. And
it doesn't make you feel superior like I'm different. It

(43:50):
means I'm built differently. As I found out in the
movie Hatch, it wasn't. I always thought that that was
a good thing. That makes me fucking better than most people.
And it doesn't. It made me broken. It exists because
I'm trying to fucking heal something.

Speaker 1 (44:04):
Mhm m, I go back to the book. Oh my god,
so yes, not everyone.

Speaker 3 (44:16):
Actually I had to learn that lesson because of my
mom because she was very much like me, which is
makes sense. She gave birth to manhit and then raised me,
and so I watched her be the person that like
over delivers and then heartbreaking late watched when she was
hoping for like, you know, the treatment, same treatment in return?

Speaker 1 (44:36):
Is this blocking your light? That pig out package? Yeah
it is evy.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
You know it's in there right book. Yes, yes, he
knows me the uh. It's so weird though that I
had no idea when the lady was like Lynden entertainment
and I was like, oh that is but yeah, watching

(45:08):
my mom be like you know you do and you
do for people and then when you need And it
took years, but one day I was able to say
to my mom, and not because like I've been watching
for years and wanted to say it, but after going
through it myself, be like, ma, when you do something
for somebody that's its own reward, that's all you get

(45:29):
And if you're doing it and hopes that someone will
do it for you, then that's not generous. You're not
doing it for the right reasons. You're stockpiling and stuff.

Speaker 2 (45:38):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
And what I didn't know was like you know, as
somebody who could sit me down fucking decades later and
be like, you're not doing it for the right reasons.

Speaker 2 (45:50):
You weren't.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
That's what they told me in the booby ash. So
like you.

Speaker 3 (45:53):
Fucking do for everybody because you're broken, because you think
that's the only way motherfuckers are going to like see
you as worthwhile you constantly try to earn your keep
by over delivering and stuff. So I am so sad
it is, uh. I mean, one could say it's like, oh,
but like anything in life, there are two sides every coin.

(46:16):
Because of that, like you, I could draw a line
from that to clerks and everything I've ever done right,
there's a gaping fucking need and it drives that and
and so naturally it's.

Speaker 1 (46:29):
Like I made a thing of me, And that's.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
Every artist, bro. I'm not alone in that. Very few
artists escape that. Most of us have some guff that
we're trying to fucking fill that can only be filled
with praise when people will never meet.

Speaker 2 (46:45):
Every single time I do a take of an audition,
I'm like, so, Austin, what do you think? Every time
I shall astin a song, I'm like, I'm waiting.

Speaker 3 (47:00):
And this is true, Like I learned this on Jay
and so above Shake Back. Two directors were in that
movie with me, Like you know, they have bit parts
and ship but legit directors Gus von Sant and Wes
Craven who I shared a birthday with, but not anymore
because well I do share a birthday with, but thankfully
not the death day. West passed away back in the day,

(47:22):
but he lived a very long, healthy life and fucking
when I knew him, I was like, oh, he's gotta
be sixty. I think he was fucking late seventies early
eighties at that point. So master of fucking horror, modern horror,
and the fucking one of the most powerful voices come
out of independent film and crossover into the mainstream, making movies

(47:43):
with integrity and fucking head and heart, both playing themselves
in My goofy Ass movie, both of them fucking far
more accomplished than I'll ever be. Both of them born
to make cinema, both of them eliciting brilliant performances out

(48:04):
of actors they've worked with, and on Jane's I'm About
Shrek back when I was like they did their scene.
As soon as I was like cut, both of them
were like, oh my god, it doesn't matter who you are, man, Like,
that's yeah, that lean.

Speaker 1 (48:22):
Can I see past the camera?

Speaker 3 (48:24):
Hellom on target aud my phone?

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Even two dudes.

Speaker 3 (48:28):
Who would know better, we're still like and I literally
had to say to both of them, like, come on,
you don't know, Like, well that's what you want.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (48:38):
Gus was like very cool about it. Yeah, it's that's
all right there.

Speaker 1 (48:44):
That's all of us in entertainment.

Speaker 3 (48:45):
Man. That's what drives one to like, you know, I
got to put on a show. You know, if you
can do it, you know you're inclined for it. But
the drive because everyone could do it right, everyone can
make pretend, and then there are those of us with
an inclination and like maybe I can stretch this out
like fucking you know, there are people who do this
for a living and dreamers and shit. But it's the drive.

(49:08):
It's the ambition that gets you to where people see
because you want to be seen, like, you know, it's
ridiculous whenever anyone's just like, oh my god, I hate
to bother you because I'm like, hey, we want to
take a pic and they say are you and I'm like yeah,
and they're like, oh my god, it's so weird. It's
like you want to take a pic like I would

(49:28):
love to, but I hate to bother you. And I
was like, it's not a bother It's why I did it.
Like this means the plan is working. Let's take that picture.
But we're all looking for that fucking approval that apparently
we didn't get as kids. Now, I was around for
your childhood. I was, you know, I was around for
mine and my parents couldn't give me. They didn't give

(49:50):
me disapproval and they were very loving and support and ship,
but they couldn't be like hev you should be a filmmaker,
because that just didn't happen in our world. What are
you trying to accomplish with all of this?

Speaker 1 (50:02):
What drives you? You think?

Speaker 3 (50:07):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (50:09):
Really with with acting?

Speaker 3 (50:13):
Yeah, not ever.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
Being good enough?

Speaker 3 (50:17):
You don't. I guess I can right there, just like
the son of Sam Well, I have an origin moment
for when you kill and to finish that story, I.

Speaker 2 (50:30):
Didn't even I was so hesitant to say. And then
I didn't even have the chance to say, because you
wouldn't stop talking. I don't know what that is?

Speaker 1 (50:36):
The son of Sam.

Speaker 2 (50:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (50:38):
So David Berkowitz in the summer of nineteen seventy seven,
same summer that Star Wars would come out, held New
York in the Grip of Terror as a I'm not
going to say the first serial killer, but one of
the most famous famous sewers, Celia. He was originally the

(51:02):
forty four caliber killer. He would just walk up to
couples in cars and shoot them no good reason. No,
they couldn't find a motive. They didn't. They couldn't connect
these crimes to begin with because they'd had no database,
and that's not how police work worked back in the day.
And shit, So this guy did it for a red
hot minute before people were like, hey, we had a

(51:23):
guy with a forty four caliber shoot somebody in Queen's Hey,
we had the same thing happened in pargrama.

Speaker 2 (51:28):
It was only couples.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
That's what we were told because that's what it looked like.
But as we learned last night.

Speaker 1 (51:35):
I'll get to it.

Speaker 3 (51:36):
We learned something on me and Jen your mom my.
Jen learned something last night watching the David Berkowitz The
Son of Sam thing on Netflix.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
I was like, holy shit.

Speaker 3 (51:45):
But when we in the seventies in the fucking wall
was happening, and I'm six years old going on seven.
It is on the news every fucking night, like you know,
the son of the forty four caliber killer has struck again.
He was called the forty verk caliber killer until he
wrote a letter to the to Jimmy Presley in the

(52:06):
Daily News and identified He's like, I don't like the
name the forty four caliber killer. Call me the son
of Sam. Sam speaks to me every night and tells
me to kill these beautiful young women and blah blah
blah and shit like that. Wrote you know, became one
of those guys that writes a letter to the newspaper.
Jimmy Breslin wrote for the Daily News he was calumnist,

(52:27):
fucking like piped. It went back and forth with the guy,
even called him out on the one year anniversary to
be like in which a lot of people thought was
unethical to be like, hey, Sam to the one year anniversary.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Where are you?

Speaker 3 (52:39):
Because he dipped for a minute. So Sam, Yeah, there's
a whole last movie about it. Spike Lee made Summer
of Sam, which is a great movie about the Summer
of Sam.

Speaker 1 (52:48):
And you know how in like.

Speaker 3 (52:53):
Where is it Sam, that area of Brooklyn Bay Ridge
or whatever a fuck how lot of white people fucking
reacted and shit like.

Speaker 1 (53:03):
You fucking bring that shit here, somemoch Sam like.

Speaker 3 (53:06):
And also that was the same same summer when the
New York blackout happened, so for like four or five days,
the city lost all fucking power in the midst of
the Son of Sam killings. And this was also at
a time when New York is not the New York,
you know, but the New York of if you don't
go there because you will get mugged crime. It was

(53:27):
the New York of taxi driver. So it is it's
a bad time for New York. And into it enters
this guy who's just randomly shooting fucking couples and cars
and shit.

Speaker 1 (53:37):
And eventually they finally find this.

Speaker 3 (53:38):
Guy and it's David Burkwitz. And so in the documentary
David Berkowitz on these prison tapes, he was interviewed by
a guy who was like, we gotta get to the
bottom of these fucking people. Like you know that show
on Netflix, mind Hunter, It's like that. So the guy
was like, I'm gonna interview this fucking whack job people
like why he's in jail. It's like, to find out why,
how he thinks do what he did. So he's talking

(53:59):
to him and with the guy said was he said, berk,
whit's telling his life story. At a certain point, his
father's adopted father reveals to him, you said this part
no reveals even more, reveals to him that his mother
did not die in child.

Speaker 1 (54:21):
Neither did you know.

Speaker 3 (54:22):
So his dad that's not what happened, because he went
looking for his birth father and found out, but your
mom's still around. He's like, what do you mean my
mom's dead. Then he got to meet his mom and
his half sister and he was like, you know, polied
to her and wonderful and they took pictures and shit.
But then on this interview he was like, here was

(54:42):
this disgusting woman in these terrible clothes, and this was
my mother and she had given me up. The story was,
you know, she'd had affair with a married man and
then was just like got pregnant and gave the kid up.
And so he that's when he starts forming this like
women are whores. She fucked some guy in a car,

(55:06):
got pregnant, I'm born, I get given up. And he
knows inside his whole life, he's like, I'm bad, I'm evil,
I shouldn't exist. But because now I know this woman
fucked a man in a car and brought me into
this hellish world, Well I'm gonna stop that. And so
he went out and anytime he saw like a woman

(55:28):
in a car, that was his mo. So all brunettes
like his mom. So he was essentially just trying to
kill his mom, over and over again. That all being said,
back to what brought it up, that's Bill, that's your rabbit.
That is your rabbit doing an interview yours from now,

(55:51):
going like I would break her lipstick and I would
bite holes into her clothes.

Speaker 1 (55:57):
This cat's a fucking socio bath. This this rabbit is
a look at socio bat.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
No, that Bill is no serial killers, Bill, No, take
it back.

Speaker 1 (56:08):
Do you know who Sam was?

Speaker 3 (56:10):
Sam? In question, I am the son of Sam. So
Sam was his next door neighbor, who had a German
shepherd that would bark all night on and keep this
guy up. And it was the dog that spoke to him. Eventually,
sadly spoilers. No, I mean, this is a man who

(56:32):
killed people. You didn't think he's gonna hesitate fucking take
out a dog and shit. But yeah, there was this
ship I learned last night, chilling, which I didn't know. Man,
and I've been alive since it happened. Wow, and still
didn't know some shit. When it was all done, I
turned it off and I looked at Jen and I was.

Speaker 1 (56:51):
Just like, that's Bill.

Speaker 2 (56:53):
I think this is spears.

Speaker 3 (56:55):
That's your daughter's rabbit. She goes your daughters too. I
was like, she ain't my daughter. If she don't fucking
get rid of that rabbit right now before cuts her
juggler in the night. Oh myke, she's gonna he's gonna
be sitting.

Speaker 1 (57:06):
There nibbling at her juggle like I'm almost there. He can't.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
His nails are large, sharp enough he would have.

Speaker 1 (57:14):
To bite, and he's like and then you realize he's
talking to the cats. You're like, all you little pieces.
And ship they've been planning a mutiny and ship and
the cats. You should listen to your duddy. He said,
if we was ever four times as big as we are,
we'd kill you at a hard bat. He knows his
subject matter bite, he had cats well, he was a boy.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
Oh my god.

Speaker 3 (57:37):
He knows the hatred in the heart of a feed line.

Speaker 2 (57:40):
He said that Bill knew about the earthquake before it.

Speaker 1 (57:44):
But we go kill all you people.

Speaker 3 (57:47):
Oh y'all, Oh no, the goodness is this something like
Billy's picked up whipping cross room real hard?

Speaker 2 (57:57):
And then I would never even if he was.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
Trying to kill, I raised you something.

Speaker 2 (58:03):
The only one that would kill he is Steep b
She wouldn't kill She's like a Manson type.

Speaker 3 (58:10):
She would orchestrate it from the side.

Speaker 1 (58:12):
She wouldn't get her.

Speaker 3 (58:12):
Fingers to say to you.

Speaker 1 (58:17):
What's her name? Again?

Speaker 2 (58:18):
I'm not going to tell you because you should know.

Speaker 3 (58:21):
There's MoU, there's the Jersey cat. There's a farkle nut.

Speaker 1 (58:25):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (58:27):
It's a boy's carl.

Speaker 2 (58:28):
Thank you.

Speaker 3 (58:29):
There you go. He is steep crazy. Hey, yeah, go up.
You should probably chew her jaicular Why did you should.

Speaker 1 (58:46):
Before they chew ours? Yeah? Yeah, either them or us?

Speaker 2 (58:52):
Okay, I guess it.

Speaker 3 (58:53):
Should be them should be. I'll watch, I'll make sure
nobody comes in right here, go for the karate.

Speaker 2 (59:02):
It's right there. Carl would kill Austin.

Speaker 3 (59:05):
I think you have a chance and there's no criticism.

Speaker 2 (59:09):
Oh something fell on wu. Well you didn't like the story,
but just under same, she didn't.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Why when you were raised around dogs, very affectionate dogs,
do you find yourself drawn to very sparsely affectionate pets,
pets that make you.

Speaker 1 (59:34):
Work for it?

Speaker 2 (59:35):
You don't know moo like I know Moo.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
I know cats cats before you did moose. Have you
ever had thirty cats at once?

Speaker 2 (59:44):
I have thirty? Those are We didn't even tell the
story of how I saved a life yesterday.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Oh to same all night.

Speaker 2 (59:55):
I was like Austin, I.

Speaker 1 (59:56):
Know, I'm sure you're like fucking remember.

Speaker 3 (01:00:00):
Uh, Puff, I I saved the cat today.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
Puff.

Speaker 3 (01:00:06):
I did not my dad it was he did everything,
But today I saved the cat. Puff.

Speaker 1 (01:00:15):
This is the beginning of me.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
Time over, go get his jugular coat. Do you think
if we put Biel in my parents' house my dad's.

Speaker 2 (01:00:28):
Jugular Do you think if I gave Bill a piece
of pottery he wouldn't slice my desk.

Speaker 1 (01:00:34):
Because do loving fucking dogs all ship with his mean cats? No,
why are you drawn?

Speaker 3 (01:00:45):
I mean another fluffy and ship and hello kitty and whatnot.
But why do you they make your work? These two
don't make your work. These two are like mood does
not make me work, and you do is great to.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
Us every No, and my kid, I'm Bertie because I
was never allowed to have a cat because someone was allarngic.
But that was a lot.

Speaker 3 (01:01:09):
I had a cat when I entered.

Speaker 2 (01:01:15):
You know, that was a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:01:16):
Found it later on in life.

Speaker 3 (01:01:17):
I didn't know at the time, but I had a
cat coming into the relationship. Tabitha, my beloved fucking cat.
Mercifully Rachel took her and shut. But I'm sure as
Tabitha left this best of all possible world she was,
I wonder whatever happened to Kevin. That's so sad. It's
probably true. It's a little cross that I'll be caring
for this in my life.

Speaker 1 (01:01:36):
But good news.

Speaker 3 (01:01:37):
His cat size was tiny cat size girls.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
But yeah, there you.

Speaker 3 (01:01:45):
Know they make your work for it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Well again, you don't know, MoU every single time, I.

Speaker 3 (01:01:53):
Didn't do that with your male relationships like you. You know,
I've seen two and it's not like you've found guys
that made you work for it. If anything is more
visive versa.

Speaker 2 (01:02:07):
No, I chased after Austin.

Speaker 3 (01:02:10):
Chase after is one thing, but make you work for it,
like fucking you know, Like why are they still together?
She must really love him and no, no, no, yeah,
but that's what I think of when I think of
you and your cats and your rabbit. It's like, why
is she finding because it's not a two way street.

Speaker 2 (01:02:26):
I've never felt more loved by anyone.

Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
What the always remote.

Speaker 3 (01:02:40):
Final episode of Beardless, I Have to Go is like
bring that show.

Speaker 1 (01:02:46):
Holy fuck, I.

Speaker 3 (01:02:48):
Gotta go.

Speaker 2 (01:02:50):
Every every night. Move sits on top of me because
he loves me.

Speaker 3 (01:02:55):
I was trying to kill you waiting at Bob, but
Bang the ball intentions are way different than yours.

Speaker 2 (01:03:03):
I gotta be as cluse as I possibly can so
I can.

Speaker 1 (01:03:07):
Plot, so I love you until it's done. And it's done.

Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
When I say, Mommy, I'm in control here, don't you
realize I'm God here?

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
Mood doesn't think that way.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
I'm God here.

Speaker 3 (01:03:20):
Mommy's got that split personality like David Burko. It's the
son of Sam and shit.

Speaker 2 (01:03:24):
No if anyone has announce.

Speaker 3 (01:03:26):
Where he's just like hey everybody, But inside it's like, Mommy,
don't you know I'm the lord of death.

Speaker 2 (01:03:31):
You have a swlit personality.

Speaker 3 (01:03:32):
I'm the crimson Knight, my may and one night and
blood will miss through the air when I take to
the knife, the sanctified knife.

Speaker 2 (01:03:44):
I don't like this.

Speaker 1 (01:03:47):
That's what I see when I look at that cat.

Speaker 2 (01:03:49):
I don't go after your children, my sisters.

Speaker 3 (01:03:54):
I was gonna say, that's because your siblings and they're
also very affectionate and you can always tell where they stand.

Speaker 1 (01:03:59):
On any given it.

Speaker 2 (01:04:00):
And moo, is your grandson?

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
Ask Walky about the quote unquote big Beautiful Bill. You're
gonna get in near full.

Speaker 2 (01:04:09):
Wucky has opinions, and you don't think Carl has her
opinions on the Big Beautiful Bill.

Speaker 3 (01:04:15):
Karl's opinions are just like Wendy when Daly.

Speaker 2 (01:04:18):
Suspicted and give you a cute gampa.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
May they get a load of me.

Speaker 3 (01:04:26):
Finish on a beautiful little cat story, a cat rescue story.
Let me do my part, okay, Well open my office
curtain windows. Two mornings ago saw a strange fucking sight
cat with a collar outside my window. I guess he
was mousing, you know, because we got a lot of
birds and squirrels and rats, because rats live in these hills.

(01:04:48):
But not the kind of rats like in the New
York subway. Not pizza rat.

Speaker 1 (01:04:51):
That'd be cool, that'd be awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:04:52):
These are just woodland rats. Man. Ain't no different than
the fucking squirrels and shirlling that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:57):
So they look like.

Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
We never see cats around here because we have coyotes
in these hills, So any small fucking animals, you know,
potentially you gotta keep it asking me. Never lets schecky
out unless somebody was around and shit. So I see
this cat and it's such a weird sight because I
never see a fucking cat on this property and don't

(01:05:21):
got two dogs and all. I guess it was like,
oh shit, maybe he's like praying on whatever.

Speaker 2 (01:05:26):
Like the twenty years I lived here, never saw a cat.

Speaker 3 (01:05:30):
Never saw a street cat, straight cat, nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:05:32):
Like their cats. All outdoor cats buy me all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:05:35):
In my house I live in cro Oh yeah here
no because probably the good cars racing up and down.

Speaker 2 (01:05:42):
But just know is coyote the coyotes.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
So I took a picture because I wanted to send
it to Harley, and it was too early to send
it because I know she sleeps until like four or
five o'clock in the evening, and so I held on
to it.

Speaker 1 (01:05:56):
It's rude.

Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
And then when Harley came over record yesterday, we were
chit chatting with Jenny and then I was like, oh,
hold on, I'm gonna send you guys a picture. And
I texted them the picture of the cat that I
had taken that morning.

Speaker 2 (01:06:09):
Yes, we were in the same room and he was
right there, but he did.

Speaker 1 (01:06:12):
Text us, and Harley was like, oh my god, what
I said.

Speaker 3 (01:06:15):
It's a cat I saw this morning when I woke
up and ship and he was just outside the window.
And we were all like, in that strange you never
see a fucking stray cat around here, and he's a
collar blah blah blah. And then while the Jen and
Harley were fucking talking about the cat, I walked to
the bedroom the bathroom window and looked out over my cafe,

(01:06:39):
the squirrel cafe and birds and rats and rats the
woodland cafe, and there was the cat just sitting in
a loaf, just chilling out because there was no activity,
no birds, no fucking squirrels, and it's because.

Speaker 1 (01:06:56):
The cat was just sitting there, and so I was like,
come o from here.

Speaker 3 (01:07:00):
They came over. I was like, there it is, and
I ran running and she almost threw herself out the
window to rescue the cat that was in no jeopardy whatsoever,
but it was, but it was alas it was. So
Harley goes downstairs and does the whole But what is
your thing?

Speaker 2 (01:07:21):
Did you hear it?

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (01:07:22):
He kept doing it.

Speaker 3 (01:07:23):
I was like, no, cat noise?

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (01:07:24):
You remember it?

Speaker 1 (01:07:25):
It was like.

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
I was like, that's not can scare the cat?

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
The cat?

Speaker 2 (01:07:38):
No we hosten. I saw video saying.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
That I don't want to say, I gotta say, what
is it? Because you did it a bunch And I
was like, who taught that?

Speaker 2 (01:07:50):
We saw video saying that this meant come here and cat.

Speaker 1 (01:07:54):
Which was what.

Speaker 3 (01:07:56):
Yeah, that's what she kept doing.

Speaker 1 (01:07:57):
She kept talking like a cat.

Speaker 2 (01:08:00):
In Linus makes that sound all the time.

Speaker 3 (01:08:02):
And to be fair, the cat was responding to it,
and my cat came or maybe the cat was just like,
oh my god, somebody's talking to me. This cat was
familiar with people. He was no stray. Oh yeah, that
became clear.

Speaker 2 (01:08:13):
He was so sweet At first when I went outside,
he was doing that little thing that they do to birds,
where they're.

Speaker 3 (01:08:20):
Like, yeah, doing the mouthing, yeah, the mouthing yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:08:25):
And then he came over, well, actually she came over,
and she was so friendly. She was making flops all
over the place, rolling around me, letting me petal up,
she was licking me. She was making muffins in the air.
She was so sweet, making.

Speaker 3 (01:08:45):
Muffins in the air. That Kevin Smith story my next biography.
Oh my god. But she was so skinny, very skinny.

Speaker 2 (01:08:52):
And I have a very skinny cat, Wieners from New Jersey,
so I have.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
The opposite of a skinny cat.

Speaker 3 (01:09:01):
Was just not called for move man.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
Maybe he's trying to live up to the nickname you
think Gods of Carol Fine, I was gonna get as
big as one moony behaved bulger.

Speaker 2 (01:09:21):
Moves the sweetest in the world. Anyways. Oh he's so cute.
I woke up today and he was in a crack
between me and a pillow and he was on his
back with all his legs up in the air asleep,
and I was trick, Wow, this is a beautiful sight.

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
Anyways, as little de bow as slumber lad Sweeper log
on the sleeping time. I let the bed boats by.

Speaker 2 (01:09:53):
He didn't move for like fifteen hours. I was not asleep.
Fifteen hour I.

Speaker 3 (01:10:00):
Went to bed.

Speaker 2 (01:10:01):
Right I woke up, he was still there. I left
here and then I came back hours later and he
was still there.

Speaker 3 (01:10:08):
Well, I gotta save up a lot of energy. I's
got to show this weekend on the Beardlistic List. Move Yeah,
beardistic Less Move live for the first and last time
to small Castle Citables dot Comb.

Speaker 2 (01:10:22):
Heard that mom, Grandpa even news cat. Anyways, So this
cat outside, yeah, yes, really skinny like Wieners. But Wieners
eats all the time. She's just a runt.

Speaker 1 (01:10:40):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:10:41):
Austin's mom has Wiener's siblings. They are normal sized.

Speaker 3 (01:10:46):
Yes, Wieners is one of Harley's fourteen cats.

Speaker 2 (01:10:49):
A Jersey cat, the one she got in New Jersey
in the junk yard.

Speaker 3 (01:10:52):
Yeah, during the making of Clerks three.

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
Yes, Wieners.

Speaker 3 (01:10:55):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (01:10:56):
And so at first I was like, oh, no, maybe
the cat outside is hungry. So then you brought dog food,
which she did not really respond to.

Speaker 3 (01:11:06):
I was like the gravy. Yeah, laughed at the gravy
but did not eat the chunks.

Speaker 2 (01:11:12):
Uh, no, she didn't. And then you brought water and
she kind of looked at it. But then I was
trying to solve the mystery because she had a collar
and it had a tracker, but it wasn't an air tag,
so I was like, perhaps the tracker died.

Speaker 1 (01:11:28):
Good thought.

Speaker 2 (01:11:29):
And then I was like, but she's so skinny, maybe
she's been out here for a long time or something.
And then I saw her nails were clipped, and I
was like, oh, so this is somebody's cat.

Speaker 3 (01:11:43):
It is like one of the murder podcasts where all
the clues are.

Speaker 2 (01:11:45):
Coming together were coming together. The nails are what really
what really did it for me because they were clearly clipped.
And Mom was like maybe she was like clawing on
the floor and I was like, those are some clipped.

Speaker 1 (01:11:56):
Claws, silly woman, you know nothing about cats.

Speaker 2 (01:11:59):
Exactly.

Speaker 1 (01:12:00):
The aureded mom was.

Speaker 2 (01:12:05):
Mom was like, I will post pictures of her on
the neighborhood watch, so take pictures.

Speaker 3 (01:12:12):
And I was like, Mom got involved.

Speaker 2 (01:12:13):
Mom got involved.

Speaker 3 (01:12:14):
Sidebar, Mom got involved. You did not?

Speaker 2 (01:12:18):
You delivered the food and then where you sat because
we were.

Speaker 3 (01:12:21):
Supposed to be recording podcasts, so I was at my
office door and when you needed your phone, I brought
it to you.

Speaker 1 (01:12:26):
And when you need water for the cat, I brought
it to you.

Speaker 3 (01:12:28):
So I would say I did about as much as mom.

Speaker 1 (01:12:32):
Why didn't you come out and play with a stranger's
cat in the in the morning?

Speaker 3 (01:12:38):
Because when I opened the window, the cat went away.

Speaker 2 (01:12:41):
So I then the cat took a picture.

Speaker 3 (01:12:44):
You took a picture of the cat, yes, before I
opened the window. So I took a picture of the cat.
Then I opened the window to say hello, and the
cat went away. So I was like, oh, I'm scaring
the cat closed the window.

Speaker 2 (01:12:54):
I see, Well, the cat was not scared of me.

Speaker 3 (01:12:57):
No cat could sense You've got big cat energy and
was just like, oh friend. But then I also you
also have to remember I have two giant German shepherds.
They were upstairs, not this, not in the morning when
I first saw the cat. Before your little adventure begins,
you got to remember you're a sequel to my cat story.
I encountered the cat first, and I encountered with a
couple of dogs. So if they had seen that cat,

(01:13:18):
they would.

Speaker 1 (01:13:19):
Be like what the wolf, wolf wolf, motherfucker had wolf.

Speaker 3 (01:13:23):
We gotta deal with squirrels we gotta deal with birds,
we gotta deal with the occasional rat and full and
now a fucking cat is sitting in our fog let
me had it?

Speaker 2 (01:13:32):
Oh no, this cow was so sweet. Mom texted the
neighbor and was like, is this your cat? And she
was like, no, but this I might know whose cat
this is Louise. And then it was Louise's cat. And
she she was this very nice older woman who lives
in the neighborhood, who lives in the neighborhood, and she

(01:13:55):
had been looking for her cat for two days, and
so much so.

Speaker 3 (01:13:59):
That two days earlier I was sitting there talking to
Mom in our bedroom and our you know, the windows
were open, and we heard somebody going up and down
the hill, going Margo and then Margo, and then finally
I was like, Polo, and then she said Margo and
I said Polo and it stopped. And the cat's name
was Marco turned that the cat's name is Margot.

Speaker 2 (01:14:21):
Yes, And then when I told I told you her
name was Margot.

Speaker 3 (01:14:25):
You were like, and I was like, yeah, I remember
seeing the lady with her cane going up the hill.
Never o courage to me. She was looking for a
cat and the assumed a dog.

Speaker 2 (01:14:36):
She told me the tracker died, and she.

Speaker 3 (01:14:39):
You had so much, which is yes. And she thought
the tracker died because the cat.

Speaker 1 (01:14:43):
Died came out.

Speaker 2 (01:14:44):
Yes, she thought that pray the cat was no longer
with us.

Speaker 3 (01:14:49):
So how delighted was she to find Margo in one piece,
so happy?

Speaker 2 (01:14:54):
And then I kept being like, oh, yeah, you're going
home listen, and then she was I could be like, Marco,
you get to be with your mom, you get to
go home. And she was like, well, I actually have
her mom at home. She had her cat. She has

(01:15:14):
Margo's cat mom and Margo's cat siblings at home.

Speaker 3 (01:15:19):
So this is a lucky Birdie type situation.

Speaker 2 (01:15:21):
Yes, so Margo is not only being reunited with her
humans but also her cat.

Speaker 3 (01:15:26):
I was doing the wrong song from the seventies. I
should have been like we uh damn, I got Margo.

Speaker 1 (01:15:34):
And me Mi wow, and that.

Speaker 3 (01:15:41):
I'm just Gonna'm gonna put this out there, ready, and
this is fucking serious, all joking aside. You hear a
story like that, your iHeart, don't you go like, let's
keep him so true?

Speaker 1 (01:15:51):
That's podcasting right there.

Speaker 2 (01:15:53):
The lego Margo's is what's gonna get us some Redowa.

Speaker 3 (01:15:57):
They're like, we want you to rename the show Margo,
call it Margot Polo. I think that's very funny.

Speaker 2 (01:16:03):
We thought that was a very funny job. As if
they listened to it at this point.

Speaker 3 (01:16:08):
Yeah, here we prove they don't listen to it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:16):
And with that, thank you for your time.

Speaker 3 (01:16:19):
We thank good folks that we thank.

Speaker 1 (01:16:21):
We think one guy, Daniel at our Heart.

Speaker 3 (01:16:25):
Has been absolute delight, wonderful guy. And whoever made our
fucking deal. It was so baffling to me that we
had to make a deal, but mercifully they did. Because
I Heart doesn't own this podcast. We do just part
of their boiler play. Deal was like we own a
piece of it.

Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
Oh, we didn't play passion irrations. So at the live
show that multi.

Speaker 3 (01:16:46):
Passion ration, we can do a quick one right here
and watch this passion. It feels fucking cheap to be
like the son the son of sam netflick Shew. Clearly
I was passionate about it, talked about a good time.
But since it's the last home ever, yeah, version of
beardless dickless mate. And before we go into this, we

(01:17:09):
think you the listening audience or viewing audience who've gone
on this sonic journey with us, committed your time for
the better part of the year. New things are coming, kids.
We'll tell you about it on the live show. But
until then, it's not goodbye until we see each other

(01:17:30):
or hear each other again.

Speaker 2 (01:17:33):
What was it giving the Book of Poof in the book?

Speaker 3 (01:17:39):
What was the what was what was I just talking?
Passion ration?

Speaker 2 (01:17:44):
I have a passion or your question passion ration passion?

Speaker 3 (01:17:48):
No, you said you had a question. I answered it.

Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
We didn't even talk about this passion ration the My
Chemical Romance show.

Speaker 3 (01:18:00):
We'll talk about that in the after show.

Speaker 2 (01:18:01):
You're literally wearing your Black Parade.

Speaker 3 (01:18:03):
You're wearing my Black Parade shirt. We went to see
my chem Uh dude, what is it? The Black Parade
Forever or long lived the Black Parade? And so it's
two concerts in one the whole album. And then they
came out, took off their little out soldier boy outfits
and just dressed cash and just played some fucking music.
So charmed by both shows. But the second show he
comes out Gerard and he's just like, we are My

(01:18:25):
Chemical Romance and he's like, come on, bro, we know
in the first was also My Chemical Romance, but he
kind of can't introduce themselves like they were a barb
in but he said that was their first ever stadium tour.

Speaker 2 (01:18:36):
Yeah, in the first half was Theatrice.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
Yeah, he came off like an art school kid. Man.
They had the whole.

Speaker 2 (01:18:45):
Created their own country, their own language there.

Speaker 3 (01:18:48):
It was framed as a like dictatorship autocratic country of
concert that was being thrown on a kind of country
for an autocratic leader who sat in the audience and
had people shot at one point.

Speaker 1 (01:19:00):
All was wild.

Speaker 3 (01:19:03):
It was nuts, but it was so well staged and
just beautiful, so good. And then the second half was
also just fucking equally cool, where it's like, oh my god,
these kids, these kids from Jersey, local Jersey band.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
Had to support.

Speaker 2 (01:19:16):
Of course I cried so much, Yeah she did.

Speaker 3 (01:19:19):
I kept looking over it.

Speaker 1 (01:19:22):
Now. I love them when I was young.

Speaker 3 (01:19:24):
That's what happens, man. Yes, you get older and you realize.

Speaker 1 (01:19:28):
Wait a second, I've been into them since I was
eleven or twelve. Oh my god.

Speaker 2 (01:19:33):
They are probably the only band that I know besides
Whole Hole and My Chemical Romance are the only bands
that I know the entire.

Speaker 3 (01:19:43):
Discography of you know every song and could sing every song. Yes,
and for your listening pleasure, Harley will now sing a
piece of every mi chem song action and here I go.

Speaker 1 (01:19:56):
People like that, Okay, I'm not okay with this.

Speaker 3 (01:20:00):
Yeah, be at the live show Kids Sunday, Sunday, Sunday, Sunday,
August August, the day after I turned fifty five Man
twenty bucks.

Speaker 2 (01:20:11):
My dad is actually going to tap dance while I
sing my comic.

Speaker 3 (01:20:16):
Crab walk in, Crab Walk out, Crab walk In, Crab
Walk out, Crab Walk.

Speaker 2 (01:20:20):
For a two hour set of my chemical Romances.

Speaker 3 (01:20:24):
Doing squat thrusts for the last two weeks just so
I could crab walk in walk out grad Walk. But
in any event, yes, the show was spellbinding.

Speaker 2 (01:20:37):
To say the least, absolutely amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:20:42):
Those Way boys there were many Ways, but two of
them all and the other ones and the rest you
know their names.

Speaker 2 (01:20:53):
Frank Iero and Ray Torol. So there's just the four
of them, and then there's there's four core members, and
then there's the drummer, and there was a keyboardist.

Speaker 3 (01:21:02):
It's fucking nuts, like he is wonderful to watch him
fucking every once in a while, like people will go
see my show. And the compliment that I love is like,
I love seeing you do your thing. And that's how
I felt watching that. I was like, oh, I love
seeing him do his thing. He's in crazy fucking talented
little pixie, that guy because when he's not like fucking
commanding how many people and Dodger Stadium so fifty sixty thousand.

Speaker 2 (01:21:27):
I don't know, I don't know. It took two hours
to leave the parking lots, So that gives you an idea.

Speaker 1 (01:21:34):
He commanded that stage like a goddamn pro.

Speaker 3 (01:21:36):
And then this is a guy who can write comics
like a pro and then make the fucking you know,
TV show like a pro. And does he does he
do the TV show or they just adapt it from
his steps?

Speaker 1 (01:21:45):
He actively involved, he was it was at one point,
I mean, yeah, he was.

Speaker 3 (01:21:50):
Deeply involved in like working on the d C comics
for a while there when he was was a Young Animal.

Speaker 1 (01:21:54):
It was his label Big.

Speaker 3 (01:21:57):
Young Animals, Yes, logo his imprint in DC. I absolutely
love that kid. If you ever fucking bored and you're like,
I've always wanted to listen to a fucking Z list director,
talk to the musical genius.

Speaker 1 (01:22:10):
About the.

Speaker 3 (01:22:16):
I did an episode of podcast years ago with with
Way and Mikey Way where we listened to Welcome to
the Black Parade and line by line and I would
pause and be like, what does that mean that?

Speaker 1 (01:22:27):
What does that mean?

Speaker 3 (01:22:28):
And they would tell me stories and be like, Oh,
it's about this, blah blah blah, how did you do that?

Speaker 1 (01:22:31):
Why why did you write that? What does that mean?
And it was great.

Speaker 3 (01:22:34):
It's like two hours fucking long.

Speaker 2 (01:22:36):
A lot of people were on Instagram saying that you
should have them back and.

Speaker 3 (01:22:42):
Do another podcast. Yeah, well, we're going to have them
on the next podcast we're going to do.

Speaker 1 (01:22:46):
I'll take you well, yes, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (01:22:51):
I know what you say.

Speaker 1 (01:22:53):
You'll be away or two.

Speaker 3 (01:22:58):
Yeah, man, that's gonna be good times.

Speaker 1 (01:22:59):
Because we may be done. We may be putting beardless, dickless.

Speaker 3 (01:23:02):
Me to bed, but me and a kid are going
to keep talking to each other until it irritates.

Speaker 1 (01:23:07):
The funk out of all of you.

Speaker 3 (01:23:09):
I will keep keep talking to each other until we're
that girl with the very successful podcast or that boy
with the other successful podcast. So true, we want to
be them.

Speaker 1 (01:23:22):
I don't want to be on the why list, I
won't be at least on the list, I won't be.

Speaker 2 (01:23:40):
So passion irration, the mind kem concert, big.

Speaker 3 (01:23:43):
Passion, huge passion. I look not only did I use
Welcome to the Black Parade to open Clerks three expertly
on My Dad as a beautiful little montage. You can
hate the rest of that movie if you want, but
the opening shows so much promise. It's true, but the
open does prepare you for the end because it is very,
you know, melancholy, and you're like, why because there happenings

(01:24:06):
such a good time, And then by the end of
the movie you're like.

Speaker 1 (01:24:08):
Oh god, it was right what I carry on?

Speaker 3 (01:24:12):
Me?

Speaker 1 (01:24:12):
Why?

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
But also Gerard did.

Speaker 1 (01:24:16):
The why Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:24:20):
Can you use that in two movies?

Speaker 3 (01:24:22):
It's so beautiful? I always felt bad that, Like it
is honestly one of the most beautiful pieces of music
I've ever heard, definitely the best rendition of that fucking
old ditty from like the fourteen hundreds or something like that.
But I always felt like, oh my god, it ends dusk,
like you got a lot you gotta sit through tusking
order to get to the beauty of that song.

Speaker 1 (01:24:43):
Why Hello?

Speaker 3 (01:24:49):
But when I when I was doing Clark's three. I
was like, you know what, man, I'm not that song's perfect.
I'm gonna use that song again. So I got to
use it fucking twice. But in any event, amazing concert.
Thank you for taking making us go. Because can you
call your cake?

Speaker 1 (01:25:06):
This is your friend? To him, he was like, oh
my god, please. He was very cool about it. He
wasn't like, h another fucking hand out. God, damn it,
this ain't Jersey.

Speaker 2 (01:25:20):
I posted a carousel post of many pictures of me crying,
and then I did remember that him and his beautiful
talented wife Lindsey Wade follow me on.

Speaker 1 (01:25:33):
Instagram, so they saw your shit.

Speaker 2 (01:25:36):
It's possible and I was like, oh, well, I've exposed myself.

Speaker 3 (01:25:40):
Do you think so In the second half of the show,
they do songs from the other albums, and they apparently,
you know, they did a they'll be doing a cover.
Do you think they do a cover every night?

Speaker 2 (01:25:49):
Or no?

Speaker 1 (01:25:50):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
Do you think since they do as a grab bag
of songs that changes every night? He indicated the second half,
not the first, that first half as they do, they
change that order of Is that right? Yeah? So sometimes
they'll open with when I was I was shocked at
how early they played it because I was like, oh
my god, I assumed you're gonna make us all weight,

(01:26:11):
You're gonna edge us.

Speaker 2 (01:26:13):
No, they played us, played song in.

Speaker 3 (01:26:15):
They were like fucking everyone was doing it. But wait
a second, what was the point I was doing? Oh
so in the second half, do you.

Speaker 2 (01:26:24):
I think they're going to cover Cinnamon?

Speaker 1 (01:26:26):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (01:26:27):
Did you imagine He's like, we got this song that
we want to cover me You guys ever see Clerks?

Speaker 1 (01:26:34):
All right? So you know the guy that isn't even
in your fantasy. I'm like, and he says my name
on stage? The Uh what was my point? I was
about to make a good point.

Speaker 2 (01:26:49):
Almost he's going to cover a song?

Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
Oh do you think he'll do maybe? Because that was
him solo.

Speaker 2 (01:26:57):
I don't think so. No, I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (01:27:01):
Banger.

Speaker 1 (01:27:02):
I want to use that in a movie one day.

Speaker 2 (01:27:04):
So great.

Speaker 3 (01:27:06):
Yeah, oh passion, nothing but passion for that Mike Chemp
concert here highest comblin. I could pay. I'd go back again,
I know you would. But that's well he did look
to see they're going to Jersey. I know it's because Ashley,
that's Modcastle was like, I mean, bro, if you want
to stick around. It's literally the nice seeing Mike Cam

(01:27:27):
in Jersey, bitch. I know, I'm just saying, I know
that's where you're from.

Speaker 2 (01:27:33):
I would like to see them. I can't remember wearing Canada,
but at some point they are going to play in
some place in Canada and Pixies are opening for them.

Speaker 3 (01:27:45):
Oh seriously, I can't remember wearing Canada. Canada don't want
you right now, I know, but I want Canada.

Speaker 1 (01:27:51):
White and blue blooded pieces.

Speaker 3 (01:27:53):
Yeah, oh god, why not go to the Jersey show
and see them in their fucking power center where they
were born and fucking wake of September eleventh, Man W.
Gerard Way was like no, and started writing fucking anthems.

Speaker 1 (01:28:07):
For an entire generation.

Speaker 3 (01:28:09):
It's true, not just Jersey kids, but the world. Something
the thing about any event. Passion for the content. Here's
my say less indeed, here is fucking most of the
reviews on this podcast, both of them.

Speaker 1 (01:28:27):
Passion. I have a passion, my heir ration, passion.

Speaker 3 (01:28:35):
I'll start passion. We should start positive passion for uh
recording a podcast with my kids, good times, wonderful times.
Forcing you to hang out with me. My money is
the smartest thing.

Speaker 1 (01:28:50):
I ever did.

Speaker 2 (01:28:53):
Know I'd hang out with you any ration ever.

Speaker 3 (01:28:57):
We should have been for free, so be it.

Speaker 2 (01:29:02):
No, no, no, no, half the time I got my
heart there you go.

Speaker 1 (01:29:09):
Lot less of that, but not Dane passion.

Speaker 2 (01:29:14):
For Dane, passion for Daniel rash for the rest by heart.

Speaker 1 (01:29:18):
What's your passion?

Speaker 3 (01:29:19):
Ration? Um My, do you hear that? Yeah? Like she stomps, like, honestly,
there are three people in this house right now, people humans,
not counting the dogs, and Lucky's pretty big, but there
are three adult human beings. And to look at us,
all lined up like Russian fucking nesting dolls, you would
assume that that's me walking upstairs. And yet I move.

(01:29:43):
Your mother once said like hippone ninja hip.

Speaker 1 (01:29:47):
I would say, she said that, I said that, so
that fucking boom boom boom bober.

Speaker 3 (01:29:59):
Fucking but bubbles.

Speaker 1 (01:30:00):
And she knows it too.

Speaker 3 (01:30:01):
I was like, what do you walk on? And she's
just she's real. Maybe I'm a toe heel person. She
is heel toe and she is hard on the heel,
like I would hate to have her arches. Listen, I'm
all may.

Speaker 1 (01:30:19):
Stomp stomp, noney event.

Speaker 3 (01:30:24):
Passion I ration.

Speaker 2 (01:30:27):
Passion, Yeah, uh no, I'll start with ration to end
on a positive note.

Speaker 1 (01:30:33):
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 (01:30:34):
One of the longest episodes of the show, makes Sense,
one of the last makes Sense, the last home show ever.
Ration ninety minute extravagan is a lot more ads for
iHeart to stick in there every three minutes.

Speaker 2 (01:30:44):
Ration your series that my children want to kill me.

Speaker 1 (01:30:50):
You know what, that's fair?

Speaker 3 (01:30:51):
Thank you? And passion.

Speaker 2 (01:30:53):
Yeah, I have two okay, one of my children. Okay,
I have three, I.

Speaker 1 (01:31:03):
Have three.

Speaker 2 (01:31:04):
One yes, one of my children can predict natural disasters.

Speaker 1 (01:31:07):
Yeah, two yeah, more that move useful.

Speaker 2 (01:31:11):
Animals sleeps on me because he loves me so much.

Speaker 3 (01:31:15):
That's a passion it is. I love it here into
that I feel very touch like more loves of everything else.

Speaker 2 (01:31:20):
In third Woking is recording a podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:31:27):
In my dad, Oh word, come up with that? O,
my lord, I feel.

Speaker 3 (01:31:33):
I take it back.

Speaker 2 (01:31:36):
It's no, it's it's actually been so much fun and
a lot of the time I come it is. Uh.

Speaker 1 (01:31:41):
We are known.

Speaker 2 (01:31:43):
For getting together to record the podcast and then and
then not recording the podcast because we just love to
hang out.

Speaker 3 (01:31:51):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (01:31:51):
It's true.

Speaker 3 (01:31:51):
It's it's a high compliment that sometimes we're gathered through
the show, and we don't do the show, you know,
outside to do that. But Scott Moser sometimes there'd be
times we were just chit chatting ship and then it
was like, oh shit, I've been into the show, let's
do it tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:32:07):
It's every time I come home from coming here, Austin's like,
did you record?

Speaker 3 (01:32:13):
And I'm like no.

Speaker 1 (01:32:16):
He puts his money out, looking for the looking for
the money. Did you record? Can I handle my own money? No?
You can't be trusted with your own money. Did you
record you?

Speaker 2 (01:32:28):
Did you know that? Actually?

Speaker 3 (01:32:29):
Never mind.

Speaker 1 (01:32:32):
Save that for the after show.

Speaker 3 (01:32:33):
You would hate it. Save that for the after What
were you doing on the after show?

Speaker 1 (01:32:36):
Where I was like, tune into the after show where
I'll share it with you.

Speaker 2 (01:32:42):
Was it passion irration?

Speaker 1 (01:32:43):
No, we did that on this show.

Speaker 2 (01:32:48):
I just thought I'm an idea for the live show.
I'll tell you later.

Speaker 3 (01:32:52):
The audience is like, great, that's why you guys don't
have a fucking current show. There was something I was like, I'm.

Speaker 1 (01:32:58):
Gonna do it on passion I ration.

Speaker 3 (01:33:00):
If only we could rewind Oh well, kids, a bit
of a fuddling ending to beardless dickless me.

Speaker 1 (01:33:08):
The last ever home.

Speaker 3 (01:33:11):
Show right here in the home.

Speaker 2 (01:33:13):
Can you believe it?

Speaker 1 (01:33:16):
I can't.

Speaker 3 (01:33:16):
We've had a long time to build up too, so
I'm ready. I'm ready for the next incarnation and you
should be two kids, wait to see what we're gonna do.

Speaker 2 (01:33:25):
It is so much better.

Speaker 1 (01:33:29):
I mean, there it is.

Speaker 3 (01:33:33):
Kids, there's your beardless stickless me forever.

Speaker 1 (01:33:36):
Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:33:38):
Until the next one, which is the last one live.
Come to this podcastle cinemons and watch this happen live
kids on Sunday twenty bucks. Come on cheap show and
then stay around afterwards and see Yo Go hos act.

Speaker 1 (01:33:53):
Yo goss with an audience.

Speaker 3 (01:33:55):
I was walking today with the dogs and I was like,
maybe I can Rocky horror that shit, like everybody rote
toast right now, like stop trying to Rocky, stop trying
to make Rocky happen.

Speaker 2 (01:34:05):
Oh my god, sing along to the Canadian anthem or like.

Speaker 3 (01:34:08):
When you're like I'm not everyone does it Unison and
a bunch of like colleens are up on the stage
doing it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:20):
At the time.

Speaker 2 (01:34:23):
Everyone's crying, let's not do this. You should do that
at your theater.

Speaker 1 (01:34:28):
Bro.

Speaker 3 (01:34:29):
I was thinking about it today.

Speaker 1 (01:34:30):
I was walking the dogs.

Speaker 3 (01:34:30):
I was like, you know, like that'd be like, maybe
I need to Rocky Horror myself rather than wait for people.

Speaker 1 (01:34:38):
That's what happened.

Speaker 3 (01:34:38):
Rocky Heart just happened naturally. And ship maybe I can
engineer that. I was like, all right, everybody, here's the
script I wrote. When it's raining out, you've got to
pull out the square guns and you're popping up in
the err.

Speaker 1 (01:34:48):
Like doesn't rain in your movie prey, good point. Let
me think I thought I did was steal the rain
from the rock Yard thing I saw him fame.

Speaker 3 (01:34:57):
Well, I have no plan beyond that. Should we watch yoga?

Speaker 1 (01:35:00):
No? No, not thetheless throwing toast? Please God, No, feel
free toast if you want to. That's what you gotta do.

Speaker 3 (01:35:10):
That was burn kids, there's your beardless stickles me until
the live show for beardless stickless me. I'm a very
proud dad Kevin.

Speaker 2 (01:35:19):
Smith, and I'm a very proud bull owner and daughter of.

Speaker 1 (01:35:27):
There you go.

Speaker 3 (01:35:27):
Wow took ment to land that fucking rocket ship. Hey
go have them for beardless I said that part. Yeah,
go have a beardless dickless day. This has been a

(01:35:51):
podcast production podcast podcast using our mouths on You since
two thousand and seven, Hey kids, did you like what
you just heard? Well, guess what. We've got tons more
man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at
that kevinsmithclub dot com.

Speaker 1 (01:36:11):
Go sign up now,