July 6, 2022 • 45 mins
Carmen sits down with Miss Trans USA 2020 Bianca Nicole Bowser to discuss her humble beginnings in drag clubs & pageants, growing her drag career while also starting a family with her husband Nick.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
I would spend like sixty bucks on my makeup. I
think thirty bucks on a good wig and then supplies
from joe Ane Fabrics, and I was in a deficit.
Hello and welcome to Beauty Translated. I'm your host, Carmen Laurent.
This is the show all about celebrating the inner and
(00:20):
outer beauty within the trans community. You just heard from
my guest this week, Bianca Nicole Bowser. Bianca Nicole is
a seasoned show girl from here in the South. She
has a wife, a mother of two children and countless
drag children. Currently a practicing tattoo artist. She does this
all while being the MS trans Usa, and she makes
(00:41):
it look easy. All For some context, Bianca and I
only just met one another last year at the beauty
school that we both graduated from and I taught out
for five years. It was one of the many amazing
people that my path as an estetician has led me to.
When I got the opportunity to make this podcast, I
knew I needed to speak with both Bianca and her
(01:01):
husband Nick, both amazing trans individuals, to talk about their
marriage and about their family. Please enjoy bianca story. I
(01:22):
am originally born and raised in Making, Georgia. It's a
little big city south of Atlanta. Growing up, I was
pretty much the only multi racial child, especially back in
the early eighties, so I was always different from the
get go. My dad is a Caucasian, I believe, probably English.
My mother is Filipino. He was in the Navy, she
(01:45):
was over in the Philippines, they met, got married, came
over the States, and who here I am right, right,
So with that being Filipino, a good percentage if I'm
not mistaken, I believe about Filipinos are Hman Catholic and
so thanks Spain, right colonization, Thanks Spain for the rape.
(02:07):
But my dad um followed suit and he became a Catholic.
He became Catholic as well, and he had no problem
changing religions for my mom. So I was raised very
Roman Catholic, and growing up with everything that I was
going through mentally and physically and emotionally, I wanted to
be a priest a fund of time, let's talk about that.
(02:27):
So right now, I wanted to be a priest because
you know, I I going through the emotions and everything
that I was going through. I'm a gay male at
this time in my life, and that's what I'm identifying
as and being a devout Roman Catholic. Well, you can't
be gay. I mean, you can be gay, you just
can't act upon it. So I had a long discussion
(02:48):
with my priest, who was very adamant about helping the
youth and educating the youth. So and he was a
younger priest, so I was like, Okay, I feel like
I can relate to you. So we were talking and everything,
and I was like, look, I'm I'm going through all
these issues with you know, my sexuality, and I can't
be a priest if I'm having these thoughts. And he
was like, no, you can be a priest is fine,
(03:10):
we just need let's get you into therapy. Kind of
went through therapy and everything through the Catholic church there. Yeah,
so it was it was their own therapy. Yeah, it
was someone who is a religious background the therapy. And
I realized that because when I did come out and
openly speak about how I felt, the response was I
(03:31):
think there's hope in fixing you. And my my instinct
was like, Okay, I think I need this, But at
the same time, this doesn't feel right right. They're telling
me that something's wrong with me. I need to be fixed. Now.
Did I necessarily feel like I was needing to be
a woman, No, because there was no education on that.
So I'm a little kid trying to figure myself out
(03:54):
growing up. I really just felt like I was attracted
to guys and that I was gay. Yeah, and I
mean you probably at that point, I hadn't even heard
of what a trans person was, never at all, never
even met another trans person. No. So the whole reason
I think I really wanted to be a priest, other
(04:15):
than knowing I was never going to marry a woman,
was that they command the room. They say Neil stands, sit, pray,
I say this, you say that, and they wear these
fabulous garments. Yeah. I think that was my eye opening
experience of No, I don't want to command a congregation.
I just want to command a stage. Way that's right,
And so it it all made sense in the end.
(04:38):
Was that disappointing to you though? Like that you thought,
you know, I want to pursue being a priest, And
was it hard for you as a kid realizing that
wasn't compatible with who you were as a person. No, Honestly, Um,
did that affect your outlook on religion at all. It did,
(04:58):
but it did not like me as a person, and
I didn't think anything less of it. I was trying
to find my place in life. I mean, even up
until my mid late thirties, I was still trying to
find my place in life. I think we always are,
and so that just made the most sense to me. Obviously,
Like I said, garments and being able to command a congregation,
it made sense being a leader. Everybody comes to you
(05:20):
to tell you the hot tea and everything too, exactly
gossip and you get to spread the love with wine
and crackers. But but I mean, really that was kind
of my eye opening experience of Okay, we're going to
have to curve this around somewhere. I knew what I
was into, you know, with all the glamor and all
(05:41):
the all that, and I still right, and I still
and I still have a respect for, you know, the
religion as a whole, or any religion, any belief. You know,
it is what it is, what it is. Still been
able to maintain your respect for the Catholic Church. Off, well,
I'm not Catholic myself, but I do. But I do
enjoy the air. The visual side of things. Yeah, you know,
(06:02):
the very ritualist, very the rituals, the richness, you know,
all the all of that. But because of that, I've
also had a very close devotion to Mary Um and
any other goddess is out there in my opinion, And
to you identify with spiritually, yes and so and so.
I mean female power and femininity has always been something
(06:25):
that has been strong with me. You're drawn to the
divine feminine most definitely, and that is why I call
myself a goddess, and I think every woman should call
themselves a goddess. Biaca comes from a beautiful tradition that
has existed for as long as drag has existed. Trans
women making a name and career for themselves as drag
performers or show girls. It's a history that cannot be
(06:47):
separated from the history of drag, especially here in the South.
The thing about drag, what I love most about drag
is that it can be a celebration of the ultra
feminine or the ultra masculine. This is why the history
of trans people existing and drag culture is so important.
The art of drag lean some trans women and men
down the path of discovering their true selves. In Bianca's case,
(07:10):
learning to perform as a beautiful woman was the key
to unlocking what she calls the divine feminine, the feminine
spirit that lives within. I didn't even know what drag was,
you know. I knew of Ruphole, who appeared in a
Beefit Tytoos music video. Yeah, and and I mean and
that and that literally was the extent. I had no
(07:32):
knowledge of being able to make a profession of something
like this until in high school we had this mockery
beauty pageant where boys would dress up as girls. This
wasn't making No, this isn't Warner Robbins. So I went
to high school at a place called north Side, and
our mascot was an eagle. So this pageant was called
(07:52):
Miss Eagle Beast. I love, Oh my god, why didn't
we have one of those? I mean it was really
I mean it was really cool. I mean very progressive, yes,
and no, probably misogynistic if I had it was more
along those those lines. And it was fun. I mean,
you know, the people that participated in they were doing
(08:15):
it because it was fun. And when I did it,
for me, it was an eye opening experience. Um, I
was already you know, questioning myself. I had already gone
through many years of bullying um in different schools. When
this became known to me, I was like, oh, this
sounds like fun. Like okay, so let's dress up as
(08:37):
a woman. So I got one of my girlfriends and
I was like, Okay, we need to go wig shopping,
we need to go drish, we need to do all this.
Please help me, and so she did. She helped me
get together, and I mean I really took it seriously
and ended up winning the pageant. So naturally, my first
(08:57):
pageant with a plastic tr it was amazing in a
hard front wid the bangs was oh my god, it
was horrendous UM. But my drama teacher said, you know,
this is something you could if you wanted to make
a career out of. I was like, what, how how
does dressing up as a woman? Yeah, I become a career.
(09:20):
And so he explained everything to me. He was like,
don't you know RuPaul. I was like, yeah, from the
music video in her own little TV show that she
had and I think at the time, and he was like, yeah,
you can really do do well in it. It was
two thousand that I turned eighteen, and I had already
(09:40):
dropped out of school. I started working at the club,
living under the roof of my parents, and that was okay.
They saw it as an acting career. They saw it
as you know, because I was big on acting in
high school. They just saw it as that. So they
were very supportive. But my quote unquote lifestyle of having
a boyfriend and they weren't so keen on that. So
(10:02):
that's where they drew the line. Yeah, And that's where
they ended up drawing the line. And then eventually I
just packed my bags and moved in with my boyfriend. Now,
don't get me wrong, they're extremely supportive now, but that
was the route. Then I did start drag. Like I
said in two thousand and another eye opening experience. It
was just such a different scene. Again, being raised Roman Catholic,
I was very much a no swear, go to church
(10:23):
kind of person on Sundays. But here I am dressing
and twirling on Saturdays. But that's where I got my start.
I mean, I felt that I was the most real
thing out there and I didn't know ship when it
came to the art of drag. At this time, I
couldn't tell you anything. I had a I mean, lace
(10:43):
frints were not a thing back then, and so I
remember having a wig and I would put it up
in a high pony and you'd see all the tracks
in the back. You would see my boy hair growing
through and everything. It was not the tea at all.
But I mean, you know, from fifty feet away and
and on the club smoke in the area, right, you know.
(11:06):
But that's really what got me started. I have a
cousin who also went to the same high school that
I did. After I had already figured myself out, not
as a trans woman, but accepting myself as being different
and being in the gay community, she said, okay, listen,
we have to change your name, because whatever kind of
name you're picking right now, it's very biblical and that
(11:28):
is not you. But Teresa, I wanted to go with
a name like Rebecca. Like Rebecca might as well be Ruth.
So she said, let's take a look at you. She said,
you are multiracial, so you have an exotic look for you.
(11:50):
So let's kind of go along those lines. And so
we did, and we went through a baby book. I
ended up picking a name out of every letter of
the alphabet that I could find a name and then
she I wrote it down to about eleven of those names,
so three Z I had a name basically, but pretty much.
I mean it was only probably about two names. But
(12:10):
then she she narrowed it down to eleven and Bianca
is the one that really stuck out for me. And
that's where Bianca came from and originated, and that was
the name I stuck with in my drag career and
eventually became my legal name. So during that pageant at
the school, it was the Selena Midley, especially nitty Bitty
(12:31):
bum Bum because it was the movie he just came
out and Jennifer Lopez is Elena. That LINEZ she was.
That was one of my inspirations um and so I
was like, maam, that's it, you know, mixed girl. I
can I look a little you know, I'm kind of
um racially ambiguous, but I was like, yes, I can pass,
(12:53):
so let's do this. So I did, and that was
technically my first number, and then I had to give
it up the very next year, which was You Drive
Me Crazy by Britney Spirits. How go I bet you
turned that turned it out because by this time I've
already found myself. I had props I had stairs. It
was like a full cor Correo down and a poor
little old girl in drag wearing a bandana around her head.
(13:19):
It was precious. But then at the club, my first
number was most Girls. But I think, oh, like like
like pink hair, buzz cut pain, Yes, misunderstood. Yes, that
was my first album actually was misunderstood. How much money
do you make? I don't know. I think maybe like
twenty bucks and I was like, yes, we can make
(13:41):
a career exactly exactly. Um, but yeah, I would spend
like sixty bucks on my makeup. I think thirty bucks
on a good wig and then supplies from Joann's fabrics. Yeah,
and I was I was in a deficit. So in drag,
when you don't know what the hell you're doing, you
build a family. And we have drag mothers. We have
drag families, much like the families that you'll see and
(14:04):
shows like pose. So when I came up to Bacon
and I did my show in that high ponytail that
you could see my hair and tracks, I had a
fellow entertainer pulled me aside, and her name is Jasmine Page,
and she was like, you look cute, but you need help. So,
I mean she was being very real with me, and
she became my first and original drag mother. Jasmine doesn't
(14:27):
perform anymore, and she was kind of transitioning into corporate
life and not drag life anymore. And boy queen, so
she was. That's why she was my first mother, because
we went so far as to being able to take
me to one level, and then I still had so
much more to go. So then in later of two
(14:48):
thousand one, I moved to Savannah. I eventually got onto
the cast at Club One, where my good old Auntie,
the Ladyship Lee originated from. She was always an inspiration
because she was a trans woman who landed a movie
role as a trans woman, and I think people tend
to forget about her and in her spot and how
significant her appearance in that movie was just for transvisibility,
(15:13):
not only transvisibility, but black Southern transvisibility, which I think
is like why I still go back and I watch
her clips from that movie over and over and over. Right,
I mean, she it was not for her, that movie
would have sucked. I mean it pretty much just a
shitty movie aside from all the scenes. Yes, I'm like,
(15:34):
can I just watch the parts right exactly. But she
was always a riot bad Yeah, hell you. You could
see a small fraction of who she was as a
person in that movie. But oh my god, yeah, so
much of a riot. Yeah. I may say something to
be as you something that you may disagree with it. Well,
(15:55):
I may embarrassed to me from the bottom of my heart,
I don't give the ship. Didn't you say she had
a nickname for you. She used to call me nissy.
How are you doing, Brittie? Yeah, because she was my auntie.
So yeah, she called me nissy. And reason being is
(16:16):
because my second drag mother, her name is Venus, and
she resided in Savannah. She was a goddess, and so
she really helped me developed more into a drag persona
that is not only beautiful, but has this confidence about themselves,
not necessarily conceded nous, but definite confidence and just owning
(16:41):
who you are. So she had helped out a lot.
And then she also helped out with my costuming. But again,
like Jasmine is a boy queen, so I was not
able to really help in any kind of transitions or
anything like that. Tell us a bit about what it
was like in those early days of drag and touring
this out while I was in Savannah, Traveling out of
(17:03):
the city was really big in trying to have a
great career. So going to Columbus, Georgia, going to Augusta, Charleston,
South Carolina, Jacksonville, Florida, Orlando, those were a lot of
my stomping grounds back in the early two thousand's, you know,
pre rupolse Drack Race. So it was all about, you know,
promoting yourself, marketing yourself and doing that with AOL dot com.
(17:27):
That was right? That was that? Was it? In in
shitty digital photos? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe my Space page.
Oh no, my Space yet not around not yet? Yeah, no, no,
it was It was all a L dot com. You've
got mail. So after Savannah you went to Atlanta, right correct.
(17:52):
And in Atlanta and again it's always someone someone that
sees something in me telling me to do something, because
I'm very I was very much that kind of person.
If someone has an opinion, I'll take it. So we
had an out of town guest who would travel a lot.
She's a former Entertainer of the Year, which is one
of our prestigious national titles here in the States, and
(18:12):
also a former Universal Show Queen, which is a national
title based out of Hawaii. Her name is Raven the Goddess,
Raven the Goddess, the Goddess. She was the fire Goddess.
She did fire act. She was amazing. She was someone
I tried to emulate myself after because she had that regalness,
she had that confidence and still yet another boy queen
(18:36):
telling me what what is you know, what would be
good for my career. She's the one that convinced me
to move to Atlanta, And in two thousands of six
I moved up here and my career just don't started.
(19:03):
Back when I started my transition, hormone therapy obviously was
a very big it still is a very big thing
getting access to Back then, yes, the access was extremely
expensive and extremely difficult trying to find a doctor that
would prescribe you the hormones, but then also at the
same time having the money because that was not something
that you have for that that is not something that
(19:24):
was even considered for insurance reasons. So I was looking
into spending like eight hundred bucks a month on hormones.
So a lot of that I just kind of when
I was able to, I would do it, but it
just wasn't a regular regiment. So my first time actually
coming out in drag, you know, no hormones or anything.
I was in Charleston, South Carolina, and a really good
(19:46):
friend of mine, who I mean in a way, I
mean she is also an auntie, but I mean she
she is the She is one of the people that
really helped me in becoming a better woman and accepting
myself as a transgender woman and really pushing me out
there to be okay, because it's a very scary thing.
You know, you grow up your whole life, as you know,
(20:06):
in one way, and then you're trying to do something
that makes you comfortable, but at the same time still
be comfortable being out in public, knowing you're going to
be judged and possibly ridiculed or worse. And so she's
the one that said, if you're a trans woman, we're
going to put some makeup on you. You're going to
go out there and present yourself as a female. And
(20:26):
I was like, it's so easy for you though you're
like five four, and she's like, girl, no, let's do this.
So she did and we got together and I was,
I mean, I was on pins and needles and she
took me to the Max Store, which was probably the
best thing, being who Mac the company is and their
acceptance of everyone was probably the best thing as our
(20:49):
first place to go. Thankfully she didn't take you like
clinic or like a loan comb or something or Best
Pro Shop. Oh my god. Yeah, but it was very good.
She was like, look, you see nobody's thinking anything. You
can do this. And it was that moment that I
started living my life as female. I have Latarsha to
(21:11):
thank for that. Do you think you would have made
that first step on your own. Yeah, yeah, no, not
not at all, because I had already identified myself as
being female at least a year and a half. It
was getting to that point that I was just having
a really really hard time getting the courage, yeah, to
be who you were, right right present, how you were,
(21:31):
Because it's always a fear. You hear all these stories
of murders and beatings and violence against strands people in general. Yeah,
and so you you don't want to funk up when
you're going out into public, especially the first time, and
so yeah, you get all these fears and emotions and anxieties. Well,
in a way, I think those stories also encourage us
to try and continue to hide, to continue to not
(21:55):
pursue who we authentically are. But what I will say
is that what it was and what it is today,
no one's hiding. What point did you meet Nick, your
future husband? That was in two thousand nine, and that
was here in the Atlanta area at a club called
La Buzz Marietta, very familiar, and that was really that's
(22:17):
where we met. Were you performing when you met Nick?
I was, um, see the thing about Atlanta back then.
I'm not sure for us how it is now, But
back then you would get as many gigs as you
can in many different venues because there was so much work.
So I would do multiple gigs at multiple venues in
one night if I had to. So one night, after
(22:37):
I had already done two gigs, me and my best
friend who was my roommate at the time, we were
driving home and I was looking at the La Buzz
exit and so I said, you know what, we still
have time. Let's go stop by Labuzz and he was like,
all right, let's go. So I did. We did a
few numbers, but before we got into doing the show,
I stopped by my favorite bartenders, are and Or Or
(23:00):
to drink and I looked down the way and there's
this gorgeous individual with his semi girlfriend at the time
soon to be. It was it was in transition to
already becoming as So I was like, Shari, who is
that at the end of the bar, and so she
told me, and I was like, let him know. I
think that they are extremely beautiful. So she did, and
(23:23):
then I came out and got another drink because I'm
a lush um and and then this person came up
to me and was like hello, and I said Hi,
I'm Bianca. They say I know who you are. I
was like, well, who the funk are you? Right, he
had introduced himself, and so that's really where it started.
(23:46):
Spoiler or two kids and ten years of marriage. You
guys moved to Louisville after that, right, Yes, we moved
to Louisville just again further my career and we were
really tired of the Atlanta scene. It was too far
to drive everywhere that I needed to go in order
to make a career out of drag and so we
moved up to Louisville because there was a job opportunity,
(24:07):
very well ran and very beautiful club called Play nightclub.
When they were opening up the club in Louisville, I
knew that they were looking for a transgender entertainer because
that was what was missing off the roster. They do
very well with have an extremely diverse cast. So when
I called him up, I was like, Hey, are you
still looking for a girl? And he was like yeah.
(24:29):
So we jumped on it because you know, we had
kids and I needed I needed to do something. When
Bianca and her husband Nick decided to start a family,
she knew that she wanted to do something creative that
didn't require her to be a part of the nightlife scene.
There were lots of avenues she explored before she landed
(24:49):
where she is today, working as a tattoo artist. So
much like myself and trying to figure out who I
was or who I am, and when I was growing up,
my careers were very much like that as well. I
am an em path, and I am a caregiver, and
I am a artistic individual. So with all of that combined,
(25:10):
I was trying to find something that really fit for me.
And everything that I studied and everything that I did,
there were all things that I was very connected to
and I just needed to find the right one in
the right place at the right time. Growing up, I
was an artist. I love to draw, I love to paint.
I was very big into Marvel comics, especially the X Men,
(25:32):
because the X Men were mutants, they were outcasts. They
were seen as people that the normal people didn't need
to get to know because they're so different. And Mystique
the first transgender character in a comic book, because you
know that, No, I did not Mystique. Her original character
was transgender, but the comic book authority in the nineteen
(25:54):
fifties or sixties cut it because they were like, that's
too progressive. Yeah, we don't like that much. Yeah, but
she's originally a transgender caacter. That is interesting, and it
actually makes sense of being a shape shifter. I have
a new appreciation, yes, But that was a lot of
the things that I would end up drawing was X
Men characters because that's what I connected to being being ostracized.
(26:18):
But that's that's where I connected, and that's so that's
where a lot of my art came from. So I
did a lot of pencil drawing and everything, and I
would hang all my artwork over the walls in my
bedroom so that was my first creative outlet. Second was
acting in school, but as an actress who was finding
themselves as a transgender individual in the late nineties, not
a lot of job opportunities there. So then I I
(26:39):
went on into aesthetics. Well, drag was my next art form.
And then while doing drag to make up for other
things financially, I went to school to try to find
other careers. So then aesthetics came around, and that was
more of a we saw let me connect with the
person and let me help with the relaxation and let
me pull that energy that is coming from you, that
all the negativity and all the stress. Let me just
(27:02):
help you relax and being a healer. That's where I
thought my path was going to lead, but to it
originally originally um and then trying to find jobs again
still as a transgender individual, it was difficulty, you know,
um and because in the industry, in the aesthetics industry
in the early so two thousand eleven, it was still
(27:24):
difficult to try to find jobs, especially for what I
wanted to do, which was medical aesthetics. It was never
a hit. So then after that I ended up continuing dragon.
That was when the path to Louisville opened up. From
the twenty eight dollars that I made in my first number,
I'm now making about fifteen to two grand a week,
and it was that was an amazing change, and I
(27:47):
was like, wow, fifteen years later, finally it's all paid
off and it's finally, you know, coming into existence. So
after Drag, we had different things in life that we
wanted to do, so more money was needed. Ended up
getting a career with Humana, which did not do anything
for my creative outlet and then stability, you know. So
(28:10):
we did that for a little bit. But then I
went into cosmetology school and this is again something that
I was trying to find creative outlet in where I
could do color blocking and asymmetrical cuts all day long. Unfortunately,
in Louisville, Kentucky, the only thing that I was getting
were round cuts and boliage. Yeah, and like pictures of like, um,
(28:31):
Jennifer Anaston, Can you make me look like Jennifer? Yes, yes,
very much that. And I just wanted to be an artist,
That's all I wanted to do. I wanted my art
to speak for itself and let that be what what
jump starts any kind of career for me. So yeah,
constantly finding myself and finding myself and finding myself, reinventing yourself. Yeah,
and I like that, and I'll start using that. Still
(28:53):
nothing quite sat right. And then with cosmetology, as I
said before, I was trying to jump into it with
one idea and I wasn't getting any of that. But
then also, I'm thirty seven at this time, and do
I really want to be standing on my feet eight
plus hours a day. No? Probably not. So then I
was like, what's a career that I could still do
(29:14):
what I love to do, but sit my ass in
a chair and be creative. And there we bring into tattooing.
But COVID also happened at this time, and you know,
everything was shut down. I was not getting the education
I felt like I needed for cosmetology. Yeah, like trying
to go over and reviewing books and I'm like, a
(29:34):
book is not going to teach me how to do this.
I'm a hands on person. I'm because an aesthetic person.
So so they we're doing a lot of virtual learning,
a lot of virtual learning just to get your hours in.
So I was like, Okay, I'm done, this isn't it.
And also with the depression of COVID. I would stay
up late at night trying to find an outlet, and
I went back into drawing, that thing that started my
creativeness way back when I was a kid, And so
(29:56):
it all just kind of came full circle. And as
I was drawing, was up I think from like five
hours and my husband's waking up getting himself ready for
remote work, and he's like, have you thought about being
a tattoo artist? Finding love can be extremely difficult for
a trans person dating cys gender people, regardless of how
(30:17):
you identify. There's lots of assholes out there. To find
someone who is okay with your trans nous is even harder.
When Nick and Bianca found each other, as to trans people,
they not only found love, but a companion to experience
the journey of transitioning with. When did you and Nick
decided to start a family together. Here's the funny thing,
(30:38):
and this goes back into me and Nick meeting, is
I never thought of myself to be a mother of two.
I've never thought to even be a mother of one,
you know. But I was twenty seven when I one
Entertainer of the Year, and during that time I was
doing a lot of traveling. I was making a lot
of money. And that was when I had already been
living my life as a woman full or about six
(31:01):
years at this time. So with this money, what I
had planned on doing was finalizing my transition. And so
two thousand and eight and I'm sorry for you finalizing
your transition, Mint, Yeah, for me finalizing my transition, because
I was already living my life as a woman, already
had breast augmentation already. You know, everything was there except
for the one thing for me that was missing, and
(31:23):
that was having my gender reassignment. Surgery was what it
was as I knew it, and that was my plan.
I was going again. Still, insurances were not covering anything.
My plan was to go to Thailand and spend eight
thousand dollars and have my surgery. And after meeting Nick, though,
that was put on pause because well, we fell in love.
(31:44):
That's that's what happened. We fell in love. We had
discussed having a family. The plan was to look for surrogates,
are adoption, just a lot of different things, and then,
of course, as smart as he is, came up with
the bright idea, what if we just have them naturally?
And then I was like, why why, why is this
(32:04):
not even something I even thought of because surgery was
on the brain. This is what it was. So the
money that I had put aside that I would say
to go to Thailand is now being used towards us
and having a family, building a family. Yeah, so that
is something that I decided, Okay, as much as I
want and need to have this for my mental state,
we want to build this family. So let's put this
(32:25):
on hold for a second. And he made the selfless
decision to carry our kids identifying who he identifies as.
And I was like, if he can be selfless in
doing this, I can be selfless and put that ship
to the side. I mean, that's really how our family
was created. Two people who happened to be transgender, fell
(32:46):
in love, had sex, and had a baby two of
them to so we know what happened more than once,
It did happen more than all the time continuously. Let's
talk about the kinds of challenges you faced when starting
your family. People were saying things like, oh, they're just
(33:07):
trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame. I can't
believe they would do that to those poor kids having
children and having them have to live this life knowing
that their parents are different and things like that. There
is a lot of hate on the earlier end of that,
and it didn't matter what people said. Some of it, yeah,
some of it hurt. That also, as long as you
(33:28):
know what to do with those comments, as long as
you know what to do when people throw stones at
you and you make them the stepping stones to get
across the river, as long as you're able to do that,
that will bring you to being a better and stronger person.
So that's what I did. I took those negative comments
and I'm like, you know what, it doesn't matter what
anybody thinks. The only thing at this time now that
(33:49):
I have two kids is what these two kids think.
And they have surprised me beyond belief, and they have
confirmed that my husband and I are doing act like
what we need to do as parents, regardless of what
any trolls say on the internet. When we right before
we were having surgery, our surgeries, Kai, who is our
(34:12):
older son, he was eight at this time, and he's
always inquisitive always, I mean he he he takes what
you give him and then he wants more. Where my
other son, he's just you know, you tell him what
it is, all right? Cool, right, let me go back
to play my video games. A matter of fact. Yeah, So,
then when Nick and I were planning our surgeries and
(34:33):
we were going to have them stay with their grandparents,
Nick had said to them, hey, mommy and I are
going to go have surgeries, and you know, we'll be fine,
We'll be you know, we'll be back, but you're gonna
say with your grandparents. K I got very concerned, and
I remember him asking, you know, well, why do you
only need to have surgeries? And Nick was like, well,
we'll talk about this later. It was actually very poetic.
(34:55):
We were there at Nick's parents house and we were
me and I were just sitting on the back patio
and on a bench cuddled together, him in my arms,
watching the rain. Or we're flying out the very next day,
and he just said to me, he said, so, mom,
why are you and dad going to New York? And
(35:17):
I said, well, because we have to have surgeries. And
He's like, well, why do you have to have surgeries?
I said, well, let's you know, let me ask you
some questions. I said, do you know what you know
what a boy is? Right? And you know generally the
parts that boys have and say for a girl. And
I was like, well, do you know what someone that
is transgender, what do they have? And he's like, oh, okay, well,
(35:40):
transgender people are people who live life one way but
maybe have parts of a different, you know, different body.
And I said right, and I said, well, mommy is transgender.
This was the first time I ever told him, and
at eight years old, and it was some thing that
I was nervous about because all the trolls had always said, oh,
(36:04):
what the hell are is your children going to think?
Once you tell them the truth, They're gonna they're gonna
hate you. They're gonna everything you can think of is
what they said. And so I was scared for this moment,
but I was also waiting for it because I knew
was going to happen. And he's, you know, after he
told me, and I was like, okay, well, mom, you know,
mommy and daddy are transgender, so we're going to have
surgery to physically be the way that we have always
(36:26):
felt and have that match. And he said, so you're
gonna have surgery to have a penis? And I said, no, baby,
I said, mom, I said, as long as you've known mommy.
Mommy has always lived her life as a woman, but
mommy was born male. And he said, oh wow, no
I didn't know. I was like, now you know. I
(36:47):
was like, I'm sorry it took me so long to
tell you, but I was waiting on the right time.
He said, no, that's okay, I understand. He said, well,
am I transgender? And I said, well, you tell me
how do you feel? And he said, I said do
you like? Do you like being a boy? And he
said yeah, I love being a boy. I was like, well,
(37:08):
then you're not transgender and that's okay. He's like, okay,
we'll have another question. I was like, okay, what is it?
And he said so you so you have a penis.
I was like, yes, and you're going to have surgery
to have a vagina. He said yes, and then he
said I said are I said, is? Are there? Are
(37:29):
there any concerns? Are you worried? He's like, no, mom,
as long as you are happy and you feel complete,
that is the only thing that is important to me.
And I hope that you and Daddy come through the
surgery so that we can be a happy family. And
I was like, fucking hey, are you kidding me. I
was like, eight year old, you are you're putting me
through right now? But that was it. I mean, that
(37:53):
was the last validation that I needed ever. I was like,
screw what any troll says about how I've raised kids
or how or what the kids may think of me.
That was the vout. That was it, And that is
another thing that has built my confidence to who I am.
And their only judgment is based off of what you
teach them as a parent, and that means that was
that was a testament to that. You know, that experience
(38:14):
I had with Kai during that moment, I was like,
you know, we have we have always taught them to
be accepting of people. You know, race, gender, age doesn't matter,
you know, orientation, whatever the case may be, people or
people were all equal. Before we wrap up today's episode,
(38:48):
Bianca and I discuss her run for MS trans Us,
how she got there with the love and support from
her husband Nick and relinquishing the crown to the new
MS trans U saw theroughout my drag career. Pageantry was
really a big part of it. I had done pageants
since I started in two thousands, you know, up until
(39:10):
twenty nineteen. There have been a lot of different levels
of pageantry that I had gone through, but the more
prestigious ones have been Entertainer of the Year in two
thousand nine and now Miss trans u s A, which
is still a baby system. I mean it's very new
and it's growing because twenty nineteen was the first year right,
twenty nineteen was the second official pageant run MS trans
(39:31):
u s A. It's not like a tip. It's not
supposed to be like a typical drag pageant. Again, it's
in the baby face, so we're still trying to mold it.
But it's supposed to be about advocacy. It's supposed to
be about living your true self. It's not supposed to
be who has the tallest hair, who has the sparkliest gown.
You know, it's not that so so I'm really hoping
we still lead in that direction, but it's really hard
(39:52):
since the transgender pageants have typically been drag like to
try to steer away from that. Do you think there's
other pageants in the can Unity that are trying to
steer in that direction as well? I so, I know
we used to have the most beautiful trench. I think
it was transsexual in the World pageant back then, but
even then that was still drag related. So with this pageant,
(40:13):
you know, there's no talent category. It's really all about
your story. The interview process is one of the more
important categories. And then a state representation. So it would
be like state costume. Think of like Miss Universe doing
their their country right, So what was the interview process? Like?
The interview process was really a get to know and
what is it that you stand for? What is it
(40:35):
that's important to you? So you represented the state of Georgia. No,
I actually represented the state of Kentucky. Okay, okay, what
was that it was? It was a derby costume. So
I ended up having a jockey costume that was blue
and pink with white pants, so it was very transgender colors.
It was a split costume where my lower body was
part of the horse, my upper body was part of
(40:57):
the jockey and so running around the state. That's fabulous.
I thought it was a good representation of Kentucky and
you win. So yes, so it worked. Did you have
like a platform for Mr? Like? Is there? So there
really wasn't a platform. I created a platform afterwards, like
Miss Universe or even Miss America. You don't go in
(41:18):
necessarily with a platform, but you know, being a mother,
children and child education of the LGBTQ community was definitely
something that was on my list. And then just with
things that were happening personally with Nick and myself and
just life in general, mental health had become another part
of my platform. Yeah, bringing awareness and attention to Yeah.
(41:41):
I think a lot of people need to speak on
it because when you have it, you feel alone and
you think that there's no one else in the world,
and the depression and anxiety in the stress it all
sets in. And I think if more people speak about
it and really normalize it, you know, people won't see
it as a defeat right, which I guess is not
(42:01):
something that would typically be like something that somebody would
highlight a pageant. Right to be more vulnerable like that,
which I think is amazing. What about you said another
part of your platform was education for lgbt youth. You said, yeah,
and just I mean and and doing what I can
in order to help the youth. But I look at
my kids and I'm like, what is it that I,
(42:21):
as a parent would like to educate them on. I
don't see a discriminating bone in their body, right, you know,
whether it be race, age, gender orientation, I didn't none
of that. When it comes to the transgender community, is
I just want them to be as open minded and
kids to be as open minded, to let them know
that it's okay to be you, you know, regardless of
(42:44):
what that is, and to not fear it or really
take anybody's opinions and just be okay with who you are.
So do you think there's any more pageants in your future?
I am a tatted up motherfucker right now, and I
think there are no more pageants in Why don't you
start a misstatted USA. There's a mistatted pageant and I
(43:05):
think it's like a tatted mom pageant or something that
is probably right at my With how pageants are going nowadays,
I think probably the acceptance of a transgender mother would
be acceptable. Where how pageantry a lot of times was
trans exclusive, but you know that's where these pageants were
born out of. Is that exclusion? Right? Yeah? Well, thank
(43:26):
you for being here, Bianca. It has been a pleasure.
What is your social media thought you maybe want to
plug or any projects that you want to plug, anything
like that. So you can follow the Mr and Miss
trans Usa National pageantry system on Facebook at Mr and
Miss trans Usa and my tattoo page on Facebook is
Bianca Nicole Tattoos and you can also follow me on
(43:49):
Instagram at the Underscore Tatted Underscore Goddess. I want to
thank Bianca again for sharing her amazing story with us,
for being an amazing advocate for our community, and for
being so visible in everything that she does. We talk
a lot in this interview about Bianca's husband, Nick, another
fantastic trans individual. He will be joining us in a
(44:12):
future episode, so please stay tuned for that. Next week,
I'll be joined by Gabrielle Claiborne, trans activist and author
of Embrasure Truth, a Journey of authenticity. Stay beautiful, y'all,
it can be ugly out there. The show is an
association with the I Heart Next Up program co founded
(44:32):
by on a Ho's name, Joel Monique and Yessenia Medean.
Beauty Translated is sound designed by Jessica Cranchitch and produced
by Kurt Karen and Ali Perry, and our theme song
was composed by Aaron Kaufman. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever
you get your favorite shows. Two
I would spend like sixty bucks on my makeup. I
think thirty bucks on a good wig and then supplies
from joe Ane Fabrics, and I was in a deficit.
Hello and welcome to Beauty Translated. I'm your host, Carmen Laurent.
This is the show all about celebrating the inner and
(00:20):
outer beauty within the trans community. You just heard from
my guest this week, Bianca Nicole Bowser. Bianca Nicole is
a seasoned show girl from here in the South. She
has a wife, a mother of two children and countless
drag children. Currently a practicing tattoo artist. She does this
all while being the MS trans Usa, and she makes
(00:41):
it look easy. All For some context, Bianca and I
only just met one another last year at the beauty
school that we both graduated from and I taught out
for five years. It was one of the many amazing
people that my path as an estetician has led me to.
When I got the opportunity to make this podcast, I
knew I needed to speak with both Bianca and her
(01:01):
husband Nick, both amazing trans individuals, to talk about their
marriage and about their family. Please enjoy bianca story. I
(01:22):
am originally born and raised in Making, Georgia. It's a
little big city south of Atlanta. Growing up, I was
pretty much the only multi racial child, especially back in
the early eighties, so I was always different from the
get go. My dad is a Caucasian, I believe, probably English.
My mother is Filipino. He was in the Navy, she
(01:45):
was over in the Philippines, they met, got married, came
over the States, and who here I am right, right,
So with that being Filipino, a good percentage if I'm
not mistaken, I believe about Filipinos are Hman Catholic and
so thanks Spain, right colonization, Thanks Spain for the rape.
(02:07):
But my dad um followed suit and he became a Catholic.
He became Catholic as well, and he had no problem
changing religions for my mom. So I was raised very
Roman Catholic, and growing up with everything that I was
going through mentally and physically and emotionally, I wanted to
be a priest a fund of time, let's talk about that.
(02:27):
So right now, I wanted to be a priest because
you know, I I going through the emotions and everything
that I was going through. I'm a gay male at
this time in my life, and that's what I'm identifying
as and being a devout Roman Catholic. Well, you can't
be gay. I mean, you can be gay, you just
can't act upon it. So I had a long discussion
(02:48):
with my priest, who was very adamant about helping the
youth and educating the youth. So and he was a
younger priest, so I was like, Okay, I feel like
I can relate to you. So we were talking and everything,
and I was like, look, I'm I'm going through all
these issues with you know, my sexuality, and I can't
be a priest if I'm having these thoughts. And he
was like, no, you can be a priest is fine,
(03:10):
we just need let's get you into therapy. Kind of
went through therapy and everything through the Catholic church there. Yeah,
so it was it was their own therapy. Yeah, it
was someone who is a religious background the therapy. And
I realized that because when I did come out and
openly speak about how I felt, the response was I
(03:31):
think there's hope in fixing you. And my my instinct
was like, Okay, I think I need this, But at
the same time, this doesn't feel right right. They're telling
me that something's wrong with me. I need to be fixed. Now.
Did I necessarily feel like I was needing to be
a woman, No, because there was no education on that.
So I'm a little kid trying to figure myself out
(03:54):
growing up. I really just felt like I was attracted
to guys and that I was gay. Yeah, and I
mean you probably at that point, I hadn't even heard
of what a trans person was, never at all, never
even met another trans person. No. So the whole reason
I think I really wanted to be a priest, other
(04:15):
than knowing I was never going to marry a woman,
was that they command the room. They say Neil stands, sit, pray,
I say this, you say that, and they wear these
fabulous garments. Yeah. I think that was my eye opening
experience of No, I don't want to command a congregation.
I just want to command a stage. Way that's right,
And so it it all made sense in the end.
(04:38):
Was that disappointing to you though? Like that you thought,
you know, I want to pursue being a priest, And
was it hard for you as a kid realizing that
wasn't compatible with who you were as a person. No, Honestly, Um,
did that affect your outlook on religion at all. It did,
(04:58):
but it did not like me as a person, and
I didn't think anything less of it. I was trying
to find my place in life. I mean, even up
until my mid late thirties, I was still trying to
find my place in life. I think we always are,
and so that just made the most sense to me. Obviously,
Like I said, garments and being able to command a congregation,
it made sense being a leader. Everybody comes to you
(05:20):
to tell you the hot tea and everything too, exactly
gossip and you get to spread the love with wine
and crackers. But but I mean, really that was kind
of my eye opening experience of Okay, we're going to
have to curve this around somewhere. I knew what I
was into, you know, with all the glamor and all
(05:41):
the all that, and I still right, and I still
and I still have a respect for, you know, the
religion as a whole, or any religion, any belief. You know,
it is what it is, what it is. Still been
able to maintain your respect for the Catholic Church. Off, well,
I'm not Catholic myself, but I do. But I do
enjoy the air. The visual side of things. Yeah, you know,
(06:02):
the very ritualist, very the rituals, the richness, you know,
all the all of that. But because of that, I've
also had a very close devotion to Mary Um and
any other goddess is out there in my opinion, And
to you identify with spiritually, yes and so and so.
I mean female power and femininity has always been something
(06:25):
that has been strong with me. You're drawn to the
divine feminine most definitely, and that is why I call
myself a goddess, and I think every woman should call
themselves a goddess. Biaca comes from a beautiful tradition that
has existed for as long as drag has existed. Trans
women making a name and career for themselves as drag
performers or show girls. It's a history that cannot be
(06:47):
separated from the history of drag, especially here in the South.
The thing about drag, what I love most about drag
is that it can be a celebration of the ultra
feminine or the ultra masculine. This is why the history
of trans people existing and drag culture is so important.
The art of drag lean some trans women and men
down the path of discovering their true selves. In Bianca's case,
(07:10):
learning to perform as a beautiful woman was the key
to unlocking what she calls the divine feminine, the feminine
spirit that lives within. I didn't even know what drag was,
you know. I knew of Ruphole, who appeared in a
Beefit Tytoos music video. Yeah, and and I mean and
that and that literally was the extent. I had no
(07:32):
knowledge of being able to make a profession of something
like this until in high school we had this mockery
beauty pageant where boys would dress up as girls. This
wasn't making No, this isn't Warner Robbins. So I went
to high school at a place called north Side, and
our mascot was an eagle. So this pageant was called
(07:52):
Miss Eagle Beast. I love, Oh my god, why didn't
we have one of those? I mean it was really
I mean it was really cool. I mean very progressive, yes,
and no, probably misogynistic if I had it was more
along those those lines. And it was fun. I mean,
you know, the people that participated in they were doing
(08:15):
it because it was fun. And when I did it,
for me, it was an eye opening experience. Um, I
was already you know, questioning myself. I had already gone
through many years of bullying um in different schools. When
this became known to me, I was like, oh, this
sounds like fun. Like okay, so let's dress up as
(08:37):
a woman. So I got one of my girlfriends and
I was like, Okay, we need to go wig shopping,
we need to go drish, we need to do all this.
Please help me, and so she did. She helped me
get together, and I mean I really took it seriously
and ended up winning the pageant. So naturally, my first
(08:57):
pageant with a plastic tr it was amazing in a
hard front wid the bangs was oh my god, it
was horrendous UM. But my drama teacher said, you know,
this is something you could if you wanted to make
a career out of. I was like, what, how how
does dressing up as a woman? Yeah, I become a career.
(09:20):
And so he explained everything to me. He was like,
don't you know RuPaul. I was like, yeah, from the
music video in her own little TV show that she
had and I think at the time, and he was like, yeah,
you can really do do well in it. It was
two thousand that I turned eighteen, and I had already
(09:40):
dropped out of school. I started working at the club,
living under the roof of my parents, and that was okay.
They saw it as an acting career. They saw it
as you know, because I was big on acting in
high school. They just saw it as that. So they
were very supportive. But my quote unquote lifestyle of having
a boyfriend and they weren't so keen on that. So
(10:02):
that's where they drew the line. Yeah, And that's where
they ended up drawing the line. And then eventually I
just packed my bags and moved in with my boyfriend. Now,
don't get me wrong, they're extremely supportive now, but that
was the route. Then I did start drag. Like I
said in two thousand and another eye opening experience. It
was just such a different scene. Again, being raised Roman Catholic,
I was very much a no swear, go to church
(10:23):
kind of person on Sundays. But here I am dressing
and twirling on Saturdays. But that's where I got my start.
I mean, I felt that I was the most real
thing out there and I didn't know ship when it
came to the art of drag. At this time, I
couldn't tell you anything. I had a I mean, lace
(10:43):
frints were not a thing back then, and so I
remember having a wig and I would put it up
in a high pony and you'd see all the tracks
in the back. You would see my boy hair growing
through and everything. It was not the tea at all.
But I mean, you know, from fifty feet away and
and on the club smoke in the area, right, you know.
(11:06):
But that's really what got me started. I have a
cousin who also went to the same high school that
I did. After I had already figured myself out, not
as a trans woman, but accepting myself as being different
and being in the gay community, she said, okay, listen,
we have to change your name, because whatever kind of
name you're picking right now, it's very biblical and that
(11:28):
is not you. But Teresa, I wanted to go with
a name like Rebecca. Like Rebecca might as well be Ruth.
So she said, let's take a look at you. She said,
you are multiracial, so you have an exotic look for you.
(11:50):
So let's kind of go along those lines. And so
we did, and we went through a baby book. I
ended up picking a name out of every letter of
the alphabet that I could find a name and then
she I wrote it down to about eleven of those names,
so three Z I had a name basically, but pretty much.
I mean it was only probably about two names. But
(12:10):
then she she narrowed it down to eleven and Bianca
is the one that really stuck out for me. And
that's where Bianca came from and originated, and that was
the name I stuck with in my drag career and
eventually became my legal name. So during that pageant at
the school, it was the Selena Midley, especially nitty Bitty
(12:31):
bum Bum because it was the movie he just came
out and Jennifer Lopez is Elena. That LINEZ she was.
That was one of my inspirations um and so I
was like, maam, that's it, you know, mixed girl. I
can I look a little you know, I'm kind of
um racially ambiguous, but I was like, yes, I can pass,
(12:53):
so let's do this. So I did, and that was
technically my first number, and then I had to give
it up the very next year, which was You Drive
Me Crazy by Britney Spirits. How go I bet you
turned that turned it out because by this time I've
already found myself. I had props I had stairs. It
was like a full cor Correo down and a poor
little old girl in drag wearing a bandana around her head.
(13:19):
It was precious. But then at the club, my first
number was most Girls. But I think, oh, like like
like pink hair, buzz cut pain, Yes, misunderstood. Yes, that
was my first album actually was misunderstood. How much money
do you make? I don't know. I think maybe like
twenty bucks and I was like, yes, we can make
(13:41):
a career exactly exactly. Um, but yeah, I would spend
like sixty bucks on my makeup. I think thirty bucks
on a good wig and then supplies from Joann's fabrics. Yeah,
and I was I was in a deficit. So in drag,
when you don't know what the hell you're doing, you
build a family. And we have drag mothers. We have
drag families, much like the families that you'll see and
(14:04):
shows like pose. So when I came up to Bacon
and I did my show in that high ponytail that
you could see my hair and tracks, I had a
fellow entertainer pulled me aside, and her name is Jasmine Page,
and she was like, you look cute, but you need help. So,
I mean she was being very real with me, and
she became my first and original drag mother. Jasmine doesn't
(14:27):
perform anymore, and she was kind of transitioning into corporate
life and not drag life anymore. And boy queen, so
she was. That's why she was my first mother, because
we went so far as to being able to take
me to one level, and then I still had so
much more to go. So then in later of two
(14:48):
thousand one, I moved to Savannah. I eventually got onto
the cast at Club One, where my good old Auntie,
the Ladyship Lee originated from. She was always an inspiration
because she was a trans woman who landed a movie
role as a trans woman, and I think people tend
to forget about her and in her spot and how
significant her appearance in that movie was just for transvisibility,
(15:13):
not only transvisibility, but black Southern transvisibility, which I think
is like why I still go back and I watch
her clips from that movie over and over and over. Right,
I mean, she it was not for her, that movie
would have sucked. I mean it pretty much just a
shitty movie aside from all the scenes. Yes, I'm like,
(15:34):
can I just watch the parts right exactly. But she
was always a riot bad Yeah, hell you. You could
see a small fraction of who she was as a
person in that movie. But oh my god, yeah, so
much of a riot. Yeah. I may say something to
be as you something that you may disagree with it. Well,
(15:55):
I may embarrassed to me from the bottom of my heart,
I don't give the ship. Didn't you say she had
a nickname for you. She used to call me nissy.
How are you doing, Brittie? Yeah, because she was my auntie.
So yeah, she called me nissy. And reason being is
(16:16):
because my second drag mother, her name is Venus, and
she resided in Savannah. She was a goddess, and so
she really helped me developed more into a drag persona
that is not only beautiful, but has this confidence about themselves,
not necessarily conceded nous, but definite confidence and just owning
(16:41):
who you are. So she had helped out a lot.
And then she also helped out with my costuming. But again,
like Jasmine is a boy queen, so I was not
able to really help in any kind of transitions or
anything like that. Tell us a bit about what it
was like in those early days of drag and touring
this out while I was in Savannah, Traveling out of
(17:03):
the city was really big in trying to have a
great career. So going to Columbus, Georgia, going to Augusta, Charleston,
South Carolina, Jacksonville, Florida, Orlando, those were a lot of
my stomping grounds back in the early two thousand's, you know,
pre rupolse Drack Race. So it was all about, you know,
promoting yourself, marketing yourself and doing that with AOL dot com.
(17:27):
That was right? That was that? Was it? In in
shitty digital photos? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Maybe my Space page.
Oh no, my Space yet not around not yet? Yeah, no, no,
it was It was all a L dot com. You've
got mail. So after Savannah you went to Atlanta, right correct.
(17:52):
And in Atlanta and again it's always someone someone that
sees something in me telling me to do something, because
I'm very I was very much that kind of person.
If someone has an opinion, I'll take it. So we
had an out of town guest who would travel a lot.
She's a former Entertainer of the Year, which is one
of our prestigious national titles here in the States, and
(18:12):
also a former Universal Show Queen, which is a national
title based out of Hawaii. Her name is Raven the Goddess,
Raven the Goddess, the Goddess. She was the fire Goddess.
She did fire act. She was amazing. She was someone
I tried to emulate myself after because she had that regalness,
she had that confidence and still yet another boy queen
(18:36):
telling me what what is you know, what would be
good for my career. She's the one that convinced me
to move to Atlanta, And in two thousands of six
I moved up here and my career just don't started.
(19:03):
Back when I started my transition, hormone therapy obviously was
a very big it still is a very big thing
getting access to Back then, yes, the access was extremely
expensive and extremely difficult trying to find a doctor that
would prescribe you the hormones, but then also at the
same time having the money because that was not something
that you have for that that is not something that
(19:24):
was even considered for insurance reasons. So I was looking
into spending like eight hundred bucks a month on hormones.
So a lot of that I just kind of when
I was able to, I would do it, but it
just wasn't a regular regiment. So my first time actually
coming out in drag, you know, no hormones or anything.
I was in Charleston, South Carolina, and a really good
(19:46):
friend of mine, who I mean in a way, I
mean she is also an auntie, but I mean she
she is the She is one of the people that
really helped me in becoming a better woman and accepting
myself as a transgender woman and really pushing me out
there to be okay, because it's a very scary thing.
You know, you grow up your whole life, as you know,
(20:06):
in one way, and then you're trying to do something
that makes you comfortable, but at the same time still
be comfortable being out in public, knowing you're going to
be judged and possibly ridiculed or worse. And so she's
the one that said, if you're a trans woman, we're
going to put some makeup on you. You're going to
go out there and present yourself as a female. And
(20:26):
I was like, it's so easy for you though you're
like five four, and she's like, girl, no, let's do this.
So she did and we got together and I was,
I mean, I was on pins and needles and she
took me to the Max Store, which was probably the
best thing, being who Mac the company is and their
acceptance of everyone was probably the best thing as our
(20:49):
first place to go. Thankfully she didn't take you like
clinic or like a loan comb or something or Best
Pro Shop. Oh my god. Yeah, but it was very good.
She was like, look, you see nobody's thinking anything. You
can do this. And it was that moment that I
started living my life as female. I have Latarsha to
(21:11):
thank for that. Do you think you would have made
that first step on your own. Yeah, yeah, no, not
not at all, because I had already identified myself as
being female at least a year and a half. It
was getting to that point that I was just having
a really really hard time getting the courage, yeah, to
be who you were, right right present, how you were,
(21:31):
Because it's always a fear. You hear all these stories
of murders and beatings and violence against strands people in general. Yeah,
and so you you don't want to funk up when
you're going out into public, especially the first time, and
so yeah, you get all these fears and emotions and anxieties. Well,
in a way, I think those stories also encourage us
to try and continue to hide, to continue to not
(21:55):
pursue who we authentically are. But what I will say
is that what it was and what it is today,
no one's hiding. What point did you meet Nick, your
future husband? That was in two thousand nine, and that
was here in the Atlanta area at a club called
La Buzz Marietta, very familiar, and that was really that's
(22:17):
where we met. Were you performing when you met Nick?
I was, um, see the thing about Atlanta back then.
I'm not sure for us how it is now, But
back then you would get as many gigs as you
can in many different venues because there was so much work.
So I would do multiple gigs at multiple venues in
one night if I had to. So one night, after
(22:37):
I had already done two gigs, me and my best
friend who was my roommate at the time, we were
driving home and I was looking at the La Buzz
exit and so I said, you know what, we still
have time. Let's go stop by Labuzz and he was like,
all right, let's go. So I did. We did a
few numbers, but before we got into doing the show,
I stopped by my favorite bartenders, are and Or Or
(23:00):
to drink and I looked down the way and there's
this gorgeous individual with his semi girlfriend at the time
soon to be. It was it was in transition to
already becoming as So I was like, Shari, who is
that at the end of the bar, and so she
told me, and I was like, let him know. I
think that they are extremely beautiful. So she did, and
(23:23):
then I came out and got another drink because I'm
a lush um and and then this person came up
to me and was like hello, and I said Hi,
I'm Bianca. They say I know who you are. I
was like, well, who the funk are you? Right, he
had introduced himself, and so that's really where it started.
(23:46):
Spoiler or two kids and ten years of marriage. You
guys moved to Louisville after that, right, Yes, we moved
to Louisville just again further my career and we were
really tired of the Atlanta scene. It was too far
to drive everywhere that I needed to go in order
to make a career out of drag and so we
moved up to Louisville because there was a job opportunity,
(24:07):
very well ran and very beautiful club called Play nightclub.
When they were opening up the club in Louisville, I
knew that they were looking for a transgender entertainer because
that was what was missing off the roster. They do
very well with have an extremely diverse cast. So when
I called him up, I was like, Hey, are you
still looking for a girl? And he was like yeah.
(24:29):
So we jumped on it because you know, we had
kids and I needed I needed to do something. When
Bianca and her husband Nick decided to start a family,
she knew that she wanted to do something creative that
didn't require her to be a part of the nightlife scene.
There were lots of avenues she explored before she landed
(24:49):
where she is today, working as a tattoo artist. So
much like myself and trying to figure out who I
was or who I am, and when I was growing up,
my careers were very much like that as well. I
am an em path, and I am a caregiver, and
I am a artistic individual. So with all of that combined,
(25:10):
I was trying to find something that really fit for me.
And everything that I studied and everything that I did,
there were all things that I was very connected to
and I just needed to find the right one in
the right place at the right time. Growing up, I
was an artist. I love to draw, I love to paint.
I was very big into Marvel comics, especially the X Men,
(25:32):
because the X Men were mutants, they were outcasts. They
were seen as people that the normal people didn't need
to get to know because they're so different. And Mystique
the first transgender character in a comic book, because you
know that, No, I did not Mystique. Her original character
was transgender, but the comic book authority in the nineteen
(25:54):
fifties or sixties cut it because they were like, that's
too progressive. Yeah, we don't like that much. Yeah, but
she's originally a transgender caacter. That is interesting, and it
actually makes sense of being a shape shifter. I have
a new appreciation, yes, But that was a lot of
the things that I would end up drawing was X
Men characters because that's what I connected to being being ostracized.
(26:18):
But that's that's where I connected, and that's so that's
where a lot of my art came from. So I
did a lot of pencil drawing and everything, and I
would hang all my artwork over the walls in my
bedroom so that was my first creative outlet. Second was
acting in school, but as an actress who was finding
themselves as a transgender individual in the late nineties, not
a lot of job opportunities there. So then I I
(26:39):
went on into aesthetics. Well, drag was my next art form.
And then while doing drag to make up for other
things financially, I went to school to try to find
other careers. So then aesthetics came around, and that was
more of a we saw let me connect with the
person and let me help with the relaxation and let
me pull that energy that is coming from you, that
all the negativity and all the stress. Let me just
(27:02):
help you relax and being a healer. That's where I
thought my path was going to lead, but to it
originally originally um and then trying to find jobs again
still as a transgender individual, it was difficulty, you know,
um and because in the industry, in the aesthetics industry
in the early so two thousand eleven, it was still
(27:24):
difficult to try to find jobs, especially for what I
wanted to do, which was medical aesthetics. It was never
a hit. So then after that I ended up continuing dragon.
That was when the path to Louisville opened up. From
the twenty eight dollars that I made in my first number,
I'm now making about fifteen to two grand a week,
and it was that was an amazing change, and I
(27:47):
was like, wow, fifteen years later, finally it's all paid
off and it's finally, you know, coming into existence. So
after Drag, we had different things in life that we
wanted to do, so more money was needed. Ended up
getting a career with Humana, which did not do anything
for my creative outlet and then stability, you know. So
(28:10):
we did that for a little bit. But then I
went into cosmetology school and this is again something that
I was trying to find creative outlet in where I
could do color blocking and asymmetrical cuts all day long. Unfortunately,
in Louisville, Kentucky, the only thing that I was getting
were round cuts and boliage. Yeah, and like pictures of like, um,
(28:31):
Jennifer Anaston, Can you make me look like Jennifer? Yes, yes,
very much that. And I just wanted to be an artist,
That's all I wanted to do. I wanted my art
to speak for itself and let that be what what
jump starts any kind of career for me. So yeah,
constantly finding myself and finding myself and finding myself, reinventing yourself. Yeah,
and I like that, and I'll start using that. Still
(28:53):
nothing quite sat right. And then with cosmetology, as I
said before, I was trying to jump into it with
one idea and I wasn't getting any of that. But
then also, I'm thirty seven at this time, and do
I really want to be standing on my feet eight
plus hours a day. No? Probably not. So then I
was like, what's a career that I could still do
(29:14):
what I love to do, but sit my ass in
a chair and be creative. And there we bring into tattooing.
But COVID also happened at this time, and you know,
everything was shut down. I was not getting the education
I felt like I needed for cosmetology. Yeah, like trying
to go over and reviewing books and I'm like, a
(29:34):
book is not going to teach me how to do this.
I'm a hands on person. I'm because an aesthetic person.
So so they we're doing a lot of virtual learning,
a lot of virtual learning just to get your hours in.
So I was like, Okay, I'm done, this isn't it.
And also with the depression of COVID. I would stay
up late at night trying to find an outlet, and
I went back into drawing, that thing that started my
creativeness way back when I was a kid, And so
(29:56):
it all just kind of came full circle. And as
I was drawing, was up I think from like five
hours and my husband's waking up getting himself ready for
remote work, and he's like, have you thought about being
a tattoo artist? Finding love can be extremely difficult for
a trans person dating cys gender people, regardless of how
(30:17):
you identify. There's lots of assholes out there. To find
someone who is okay with your trans nous is even harder.
When Nick and Bianca found each other, as to trans people,
they not only found love, but a companion to experience
the journey of transitioning with. When did you and Nick
decided to start a family together. Here's the funny thing,
(30:38):
and this goes back into me and Nick meeting, is
I never thought of myself to be a mother of two.
I've never thought to even be a mother of one,
you know. But I was twenty seven when I one
Entertainer of the Year, and during that time I was
doing a lot of traveling. I was making a lot
of money. And that was when I had already been
living my life as a woman full or about six
(31:01):
years at this time. So with this money, what I
had planned on doing was finalizing my transition. And so
two thousand and eight and I'm sorry for you finalizing
your transition, Mint, Yeah, for me finalizing my transition, because
I was already living my life as a woman, already
had breast augmentation already. You know, everything was there except
for the one thing for me that was missing, and
(31:23):
that was having my gender reassignment. Surgery was what it
was as I knew it, and that was my plan.
I was going again. Still, insurances were not covering anything.
My plan was to go to Thailand and spend eight
thousand dollars and have my surgery. And after meeting Nick, though,
that was put on pause because well, we fell in love.
(31:44):
That's that's what happened. We fell in love. We had
discussed having a family. The plan was to look for surrogates,
are adoption, just a lot of different things, and then,
of course, as smart as he is, came up with
the bright idea, what if we just have them naturally?
And then I was like, why why, why is this
(32:04):
not even something I even thought of because surgery was
on the brain. This is what it was. So the
money that I had put aside that I would say
to go to Thailand is now being used towards us
and having a family, building a family. Yeah, so that
is something that I decided, Okay, as much as I
want and need to have this for my mental state,
we want to build this family. So let's put this
(32:25):
on hold for a second. And he made the selfless
decision to carry our kids identifying who he identifies as.
And I was like, if he can be selfless in
doing this, I can be selfless and put that ship
to the side. I mean, that's really how our family
was created. Two people who happened to be transgender, fell
(32:46):
in love, had sex, and had a baby two of
them to so we know what happened more than once,
It did happen more than all the time continuously. Let's
talk about the kinds of challenges you faced when starting
your family. People were saying things like, oh, they're just
(33:07):
trying to get their fifteen minutes of fame. I can't
believe they would do that to those poor kids having
children and having them have to live this life knowing
that their parents are different and things like that. There
is a lot of hate on the earlier end of that,
and it didn't matter what people said. Some of it, yeah,
some of it hurt. That also, as long as you
(33:28):
know what to do with those comments, as long as
you know what to do when people throw stones at
you and you make them the stepping stones to get
across the river, as long as you're able to do that,
that will bring you to being a better and stronger person.
So that's what I did. I took those negative comments
and I'm like, you know what, it doesn't matter what
anybody thinks. The only thing at this time now that
(33:49):
I have two kids is what these two kids think.
And they have surprised me beyond belief, and they have
confirmed that my husband and I are doing act like
what we need to do as parents, regardless of what
any trolls say on the internet. When we right before
we were having surgery, our surgeries, Kai, who is our
(34:12):
older son, he was eight at this time, and he's
always inquisitive always, I mean he he he takes what
you give him and then he wants more. Where my
other son, he's just you know, you tell him what
it is, all right? Cool, right, let me go back
to play my video games. A matter of fact. Yeah, So,
then when Nick and I were planning our surgeries and
(34:33):
we were going to have them stay with their grandparents,
Nick had said to them, hey, mommy and I are
going to go have surgeries, and you know, we'll be fine,
We'll be you know, we'll be back, but you're gonna
say with your grandparents. K I got very concerned, and
I remember him asking, you know, well, why do you
only need to have surgeries? And Nick was like, well,
we'll talk about this later. It was actually very poetic.
(34:55):
We were there at Nick's parents house and we were
me and I were just sitting on the back patio
and on a bench cuddled together, him in my arms,
watching the rain. Or we're flying out the very next day,
and he just said to me, he said, so, mom,
why are you and dad going to New York? And
(35:17):
I said, well, because we have to have surgeries. And
He's like, well, why do you have to have surgeries?
I said, well, let's you know, let me ask you
some questions. I said, do you know what you know
what a boy is? Right? And you know generally the
parts that boys have and say for a girl. And
I was like, well, do you know what someone that
is transgender, what do they have? And he's like, oh, okay, well,
(35:40):
transgender people are people who live life one way but
maybe have parts of a different, you know, different body.
And I said right, and I said, well, mommy is transgender.
This was the first time I ever told him, and
at eight years old, and it was some thing that
I was nervous about because all the trolls had always said, oh,
(36:04):
what the hell are is your children going to think?
Once you tell them the truth, They're gonna they're gonna
hate you. They're gonna everything you can think of is
what they said. And so I was scared for this moment,
but I was also waiting for it because I knew
was going to happen. And he's, you know, after he
told me, and I was like, okay, well, mom, you know,
mommy and daddy are transgender, so we're going to have
surgery to physically be the way that we have always
(36:26):
felt and have that match. And he said, so you're
gonna have surgery to have a penis? And I said, no, baby,
I said, mom, I said, as long as you've known mommy.
Mommy has always lived her life as a woman, but
mommy was born male. And he said, oh wow, no
I didn't know. I was like, now you know. I
(36:47):
was like, I'm sorry it took me so long to
tell you, but I was waiting on the right time.
He said, no, that's okay, I understand. He said, well,
am I transgender? And I said, well, you tell me
how do you feel? And he said, I said do
you like? Do you like being a boy? And he
said yeah, I love being a boy. I was like, well,
(37:08):
then you're not transgender and that's okay. He's like, okay,
we'll have another question. I was like, okay, what is it?
And he said so you so you have a penis.
I was like, yes, and you're going to have surgery
to have a vagina. He said yes, and then he
said I said are I said, is? Are there? Are
(37:29):
there any concerns? Are you worried? He's like, no, mom,
as long as you are happy and you feel complete,
that is the only thing that is important to me.
And I hope that you and Daddy come through the
surgery so that we can be a happy family. And
I was like, fucking hey, are you kidding me. I
was like, eight year old, you are you're putting me
through right now? But that was it. I mean, that
(37:53):
was the last validation that I needed ever. I was like,
screw what any troll says about how I've raised kids
or how or what the kids may think of me.
That was the vout. That was it, And that is
another thing that has built my confidence to who I am.
And their only judgment is based off of what you
teach them as a parent, and that means that was
that was a testament to that. You know, that experience
(38:14):
I had with Kai during that moment, I was like,
you know, we have we have always taught them to
be accepting of people. You know, race, gender, age doesn't matter,
you know, orientation, whatever the case may be, people or
people were all equal. Before we wrap up today's episode,
(38:48):
Bianca and I discuss her run for MS trans Us,
how she got there with the love and support from
her husband Nick and relinquishing the crown to the new
MS trans U saw theroughout my drag career. Pageantry was
really a big part of it. I had done pageants
since I started in two thousands, you know, up until
(39:10):
twenty nineteen. There have been a lot of different levels
of pageantry that I had gone through, but the more
prestigious ones have been Entertainer of the Year in two
thousand nine and now Miss trans u s A, which
is still a baby system. I mean it's very new
and it's growing because twenty nineteen was the first year right,
twenty nineteen was the second official pageant run MS trans
(39:31):
u s A. It's not like a tip. It's not
supposed to be like a typical drag pageant. Again, it's
in the baby face, so we're still trying to mold it.
But it's supposed to be about advocacy. It's supposed to
be about living your true self. It's not supposed to
be who has the tallest hair, who has the sparkliest gown.
You know, it's not that so so I'm really hoping
we still lead in that direction, but it's really hard
(39:52):
since the transgender pageants have typically been drag like to
try to steer away from that. Do you think there's
other pageants in the can Unity that are trying to
steer in that direction as well? I so, I know
we used to have the most beautiful trench. I think
it was transsexual in the World pageant back then, but
even then that was still drag related. So with this pageant,
(40:13):
you know, there's no talent category. It's really all about
your story. The interview process is one of the more
important categories. And then a state representation. So it would
be like state costume. Think of like Miss Universe doing
their their country right, So what was the interview process? Like?
The interview process was really a get to know and
what is it that you stand for? What is it
(40:35):
that's important to you? So you represented the state of Georgia. No,
I actually represented the state of Kentucky. Okay, okay, what
was that it was? It was a derby costume. So
I ended up having a jockey costume that was blue
and pink with white pants, so it was very transgender colors.
It was a split costume where my lower body was
part of the horse, my upper body was part of
(40:57):
the jockey and so running around the state. That's fabulous.
I thought it was a good representation of Kentucky and
you win. So yes, so it worked. Did you have
like a platform for Mr? Like? Is there? So there
really wasn't a platform. I created a platform afterwards, like
Miss Universe or even Miss America. You don't go in
(41:18):
necessarily with a platform, but you know, being a mother,
children and child education of the LGBTQ community was definitely
something that was on my list. And then just with
things that were happening personally with Nick and myself and
just life in general, mental health had become another part
of my platform. Yeah, bringing awareness and attention to Yeah.
(41:41):
I think a lot of people need to speak on
it because when you have it, you feel alone and
you think that there's no one else in the world,
and the depression and anxiety in the stress it all
sets in. And I think if more people speak about
it and really normalize it, you know, people won't see
it as a defeat right, which I guess is not
(42:01):
something that would typically be like something that somebody would
highlight a pageant. Right to be more vulnerable like that,
which I think is amazing. What about you said another
part of your platform was education for lgbt youth. You said, yeah,
and just I mean and and doing what I can
in order to help the youth. But I look at
my kids and I'm like, what is it that I,
(42:21):
as a parent would like to educate them on. I
don't see a discriminating bone in their body, right, you know,
whether it be race, age, gender orientation, I didn't none
of that. When it comes to the transgender community, is
I just want them to be as open minded and
kids to be as open minded, to let them know
that it's okay to be you, you know, regardless of
(42:44):
what that is, and to not fear it or really
take anybody's opinions and just be okay with who you are.
So do you think there's any more pageants in your future?
I am a tatted up motherfucker right now, and I
think there are no more pageants in Why don't you
start a misstatted USA. There's a mistatted pageant and I
(43:05):
think it's like a tatted mom pageant or something that
is probably right at my With how pageants are going nowadays,
I think probably the acceptance of a transgender mother would
be acceptable. Where how pageantry a lot of times was
trans exclusive, but you know that's where these pageants were
born out of. Is that exclusion? Right? Yeah? Well, thank
(43:26):
you for being here, Bianca. It has been a pleasure.
What is your social media thought you maybe want to
plug or any projects that you want to plug, anything
like that. So you can follow the Mr and Miss
trans Usa National pageantry system on Facebook at Mr and
Miss trans Usa and my tattoo page on Facebook is
Bianca Nicole Tattoos and you can also follow me on
(43:49):
Instagram at the Underscore Tatted Underscore Goddess. I want to
thank Bianca again for sharing her amazing story with us,
for being an amazing advocate for our community, and for
being so visible in everything that she does. We talk
a lot in this interview about Bianca's husband, Nick, another
fantastic trans individual. He will be joining us in a
(44:12):
future episode, so please stay tuned for that. Next week,
I'll be joined by Gabrielle Claiborne, trans activist and author
of Embrasure Truth, a Journey of authenticity. Stay beautiful, y'all,
it can be ugly out there. The show is an
association with the I Heart Next Up program co founded
(44:32):
by on a Ho's name, Joel Monique and Yessenia Medean.
Beauty Translated is sound designed by Jessica Cranchitch and produced
by Kurt Karen and Ali Perry, and our theme song
was composed by Aaron Kaufman. For more podcasts from iHeart,
visit the I Heart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever
you get your favorite shows. Two
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