April 19, 2023 • 39 mins
This is the episode you've been waiting for! Today we take a deep dive into the most famous love life of the last twenty-five years! From her high school sweetheart to finding love with Ben again and everything in between! This is the story of how Jennifer found "True Love"!
Lilliana Vázquez and Joseph Carrillo are the hosts of Becoming an Icon with production support by Juan Carlos Arenado, Josie Meléndez, Daniela Sarquis, and Santiago Sierra of Sonoro Media in partnership with iHeart Radio's My Cultura Podcast network. If you want to support the podcast, please rate and review our show.
Follow Lilliana Vázquez on Instagram and Twitter @lillianavazquez
Follow Joseph Carrillo on Instagram @josephcarrillo
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
I can't believe we've made it all the way here,
but we are almost at the end of our journey
with Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Exki, how's me? Do you mean Jennifer Affleck?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Okay, good catch, I mean Jennifer Affleck. Twenty years after
Jennifer one point zero, they find each other again.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Does the sign of the cross? Amen, Santa Elizabeth Taylor
looking down and smiling on their souls.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
By the way, I would totally worship at a church where
she's a saint.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I already do m M.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And just like your patron, Saint Elizabeth. Of the many
many things that Jennifer is known for, relationships might be
number two, maybe number one. For the last twenty five years,
Jalo has been half of some of the world's most
famous power couples.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
If it's a power couple and she's the only constant.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Then she brings all the power.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You said it. Love jail out there just making these
men famous.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's time, Joseph, let's dive into one of the most
talked about women when it comes to love. And it
may not be exactly what you expect, but yes, we
do promise you plenty of cheese men.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh yes, and this tea is piping hot.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
But before we get to that, there's also another kind
of story here about love, and not just romantic love.
This story is about the kind of love you have
to find for yourself and the kind of love that
only finds you after motherhood.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I believe the children are the future. Teach them well
and let them lead the way.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Right, Yes, that's right, that kind of love. And today
it is all about amore, the ups, the downs, the
world with romances, the courtships, the breakups. Yes, those two.
Today on becoming an Icon, he Diddy.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
A backup Danza benefit, Marc Anthony another backup Dansa a
rod benefit two point zero.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, We've got a lot of amends to talk about,
so we better get to it. Oh and six engagements
and four marriages. I'm your host, Lilianavasquez.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
And I'm Joseph Carrio and this is Becoming an Icon.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
A weekly podcast where we give you the rundown on
how today's most famous LATINX stars have shaped pop culture.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And given the world some extras at all.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Sit back and get comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Because we are.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Going in the only way we know how.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
With Buena Visi bunasriesas, and a lot of opinions as
we relive their greatest achievements on our journey to find
out what makes them so iconic.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
We have to start the episode by saying this. Jennifer
is a hopeless romantic. In her twenty eleven book True Love,
she says this, Throughout my life, I've had a few
serious relationships. Each relationship was different, and each relationship had
its own issues, but there was one thing they all
had in common. They all had a passionate intensity that
I missed took every time for my happily ever after.
(03:33):
In each relationship, I thought my childhood fairy tale was
coming to life, and that was all that mattered to
me at the time.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Wow, would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Absolutely not. No, I am not. I am such a
realist bordering on a pessimist, So I do not relate
to being in love with falling in love. I'm actually
more fearful of falling in love than anything else. I
have friends that are like Jennifer, that just are in
love after the first date or they go on a trip,
(04:06):
and I'm the one that's always like, okay, girl, slow down,
have you asked these questions, have you communicated love languages?
So I'm much more thoughtful and pragmatic. So I'm the
opposite of a hopeless romantic. But for her, she obviously
believes in multiple soulmates. Do you believe in a soulmate
(04:27):
or soulmates?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I believe that love is not something that's tangible that
you can give. I think it's a feeling that you
have within yourself. So I think that you can fall
in love multiple times with different people because you've allowed
yourself to be vulnerable to feel that feeling. Because essentially
love is you loving yourself. So I think, going back
to soulmates, it's when you let go and then you
(04:49):
feel almost like your home or yourself, and it could
be with your best friend. So I believe in soulmates
like that, and I believe that a soulmate could be
a lover.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I hear what you're saying. I do think your point
about being in life love or giving the most love
to yourself first and foremost is the foundation for any
successful relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, friendship, mother child, whatever
it is. And I actually think that you touch on
something that Jlo comes to discover about herself. But what
(05:17):
we can all agree with is that before we even
knew Jennifer as Jlo, she was already hopelessly in love.
His name was David Krups, and they met while they
were both in high school.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Get this.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
He took her to prom and she wore addressed that
she made.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Okay, one, we need to find that photo of that
damn dress because I want to see what she was wearing.
And number two, huh, that's cute.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Jennifer was a good kid until she met.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
David, and then homegirls started sneaking out and getting her
some that's t girl, that is she did.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
But you know who was not a fan of that.
Her mom Loopid. She was afraid that Jennifer was going
to end up pregnant, so she had to sneak out
to see David. In February of twenty twenty two, she
told Rolling Stone that she would sneak out using a ladder.
Lopez said, I was good at sneaking out, but when
I did get caught, it was bad.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Oh my god, Caiscandalo, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Don't want to cross a Latino mom when she finds
you comeing in the window at six am.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Okay, chunk.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But here's the thing. This wasn't just high school though.
Jennifer and David dated for ten years, from when she
moved out to La to be on in Living Color
to when she was supposed to go on tour with Janet.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But when Jennifer's career started taking off, obviously, David started
feeling movie and segudo, and soon they broke up.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
That was her first love, and not too long ago,
David Cruz passed away from heart disease.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
When she heard the news, Jennifer called David's mom on
a number Jennifer still knew by heart, cried together, and
as Jennifer told Rolling Stone, she said, you get lucky
you have a first love like that. Joseph.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I'm not crying. I'm fine. Just go, okay, just go.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Soon, Jennifer's career took off and she was in movie
after movie.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
While filming in Miami, Jennifer met Ohanni Noah No, not
my honey, your honey, a Cuban born waiter at Ladio's
aka thea Glodia Steffun's restaurant.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He was an aspiring model and the two hit it off.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
These two were in deep head over heels.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So much so that at the rap party for Selena,
Ohanni surprised everyone, including Jennifer, by proposing to her.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Boy, don't be coming over here with that shit. Let's
talk about it. Make sure my nails are done. Make
sure you got my engagement pinters board. M m.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, here's the thing. None of that would have mattered anyway,
because the relationship didn't last. Eleven months later, they filed
for divorce.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Exactly him coming to propose to her.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
She wasn't j low, but she had just made a
million dollars for Selena. He smelled, muh nie huhne.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
She could have been a reality TV show. He would
have still proposed.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Jennifer had dated and now divorced a man that wasn't
her professional equal. He admittedly couldn't handle her meteoric rise
host Selena.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Which she can go back and learn all about that
ass on episode four.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But the next love of her life, well, he had
been all around the world. Of course, we're talking about
none other than.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
He did he yo. In the late nineties, there were
few music stars bigger than Sean Puffy Combs.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Puffy as he was known then, had found fame as
a producer for the notorious Big I.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Love it when you call me Big Poppa.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yes, I love that song. God, the music was so
good back then, miss it. I need to take a
five minute break and listen to that song just to
get me in the mood.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So good.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Puffy produced and promoted Biggie through his record company Bad Boy,
which is one of the hottest music labels around. Puffy
was an innovator and a performer. So when Puffy called
Jennifer and said, hey, girl, come be in my video
for Ben around the World, Jennifer said, uh, okay, he did,
he where and when? And it was on that set
where they met and became.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Good friends, just good friends.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Well see, she was still with David Cruse, so she
kept it friendly. But did he wanted more?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Oh yeah. He was hitting her up non stop and.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
When she started recording on the six he did her
a solid and even produced a few tracks for her.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Listen all that time alone in a recording studio long nights.
I know exactly what that fool was up to.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, Joseph, it worked because soon Jennifer and Cruz were
no more and she started dating the rapper. And at
the time, this was a very big deal. Let us
remind you work. Jennifer was a young and up and
coming actress. She had a reputation as a good girl. Coffee,
on the other hand, had been involved in all of
(10:30):
that infamous East Coast West Coast bef and he was
even riding in the car ahead of his protege, the
notorious Big when Biggie got shot.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
But for real, he didn't have the best reputation. The
pair dated for two years and he was instrumental in
her early success.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But one faithful night in a Manhattan night club is
passed caught up to them. So it's nineteen ninety nine
and these two love birds are at a club with
a young rapper name Shine. Then out of nowhere, let's
just say, a criminal figure from the underworld comes up
to them throws a lot of cash at Puffy.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
What Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
They start arguing and yelling, then gunshots ring out around
the table. Puffy grabs j Lo all her furs and
they run out of the club and flee in his
black suv. The police start chasing the suv through the
streets of New York. Puffy driver blows through ten red
lights before he finally pulls over.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Oh my god, I can't even believe they made it
through ten red lights.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, and when the police search the car, they find
a stolen loaded gun.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Girl, Puffy, you know, damn well, this thank Florida.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Everyone is arrested, yes, including Jennifer in cuffs, and not
even the sexy kind, the NYPD criminal kind of cuffs.
This kind of thing can wreck a career. J Lo
knew it and called it the worst night of her life.
(12:09):
The charges against her were eventually dropped, but Puffy got charged.
His trial takes two years, and Jennifer is ride or die.
She stands by Diddy through the entire ordeal, but when
it's done, girl is done. She later said the entire
thing was too much and called it emotionally exhausting. Fast
(12:32):
forward to twenty twenty, Diddy posted an old photo of
him and Jennifer holding hands and caption it a throwback
post from a great time in my life.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Uh were these two in the same relationship?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
This is like toxic masculine energy I have never seen.
This woman got handcuffed and taken to jail because of you,
And you're like, oh, I.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Remember this time?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
What was he thinking? And aside from this one, incident.
Do you remember Jennifer talking about her relationship with p Diddy.
He was the bad boy at the time.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
And he was the baddest boy at the time.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
He was, and he put her through some shit. I
remember her telling a story in Vibe magazine where she
described that she always had this feeling that he was
doing something right. She u huh. There were like shade,
so much shade. There were even alleged reports that she
(13:40):
would hunt him down and knock on hotel room doors
looking for him. This shit is a music video.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I love that they need to redo it, but.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It was her real life. No woman wants to live
in this. And here's the quote that Jennifer gave Vibe
describing the relationship. She says, I was in this relationship
with Puff where I was totally crying, crazy and going nuts.
It really took my whole life in a tailspin. So sorry, Diddy,
that throwback post not the greatest time in her life, buddy.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
She just saw it as something that he was going
through all this stuff, so it was just kind of
like a normal weekend for him. For her, it was
life changing. In handcuffs, the good girl, the good girl
gone bad.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
What she was not here for it. But one thing
that people always talk about is how instrumental this high
profile relationship was to kind of launching her to a
different level of fame. I'll tell you who really benefited
from this relationship, you and I because hello, Hello, it
gave so much that time. I mean it was just
(14:44):
to me. It was so fun to watch. After all
the ditty drama, Jlo refocused on her music, and in
the progress of shooting a video for Love Don't Cost
a Thing, she met a choreographer named Chris Judd. Soon
the two.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Were no, no, no, no, no, No one here cares about Chris
j Chris Judd, don't even give a fuck about Chris Judd.
His mama don't care. I don't care, Jodan, the pussycats
don't care. Let's just skip it, please and go to benefit.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Okay, okay, but listen, the journalist in me does have
to lay down some facts.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Thirty seconds start the timer. Yeah, go okay.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Jud was a dancer. The relationship moved really fast, safe
to call it a total rebound. They got engaged, they
were married after a month, and after only nine months
of what it list, Jlo and Judd did file for divorce,
and then somewhere in there she met Ben. Did I
make it?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You totally did ten seconds? Who benefer. The couple met
on the set of Jilie.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
At the time, she was still married, but the attraction
between the two was irresistible. In twenty sixteen, Jennifer told
People mag that when she first met Ben, her first
thought was, Okay, this is it.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Girl. She'd be saying that shit a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well, she feels it a lot. She's a hopeless romantic
and we'll get into that soon. First, do you remember
when we talked about Puffy, We talked about how different
him and Jlo were.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Uh. Yeah, he was the bad boy and she was the.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Good girl exactly. Beni Jen were also total opposites, but
in a different way. Ben was Tinseltown's golden boy. At
the time. He went to Occidental.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Whatever that means.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
He was fresh off an oscar for co writing Goodwill
Hunting with his BFF Matt Damon.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
So he's smart.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
He's very smart, well respected, and a huge movie star.
After Goodwill Hunting he made major blockbuster films and in
four short years he became a household name.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
That is a lot it is, and he.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Wasn't handling it very well. In two thousand and one,
he entered rehab for the very first time. Ben was
feeling overwhelmed, and soon he was going to be in
an even bigger spotlight, one he would share with Jennifer Lopez.
They were everywhere. The media frenzy was non stop. Every
tabloid featured their photo on the cover, and we were
(17:23):
hungry for all the deats.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But let's keep it one hundred. It's not like they
weren't in on it.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Good point. They totally were. In Jamel's video for Jenny
from the Block, the couple is being chased by paparazzi
while they go about their business, walking the dogs, pumping gas, getting.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Groceries, sunbathing on a yacht, slapping that a as a
driving a rolls.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Exactly just normal everyday things.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And let's not forget that they published every moment, even
the intimate ones.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh my gosh, how could I forget? Right after their engagement,
they even went on ABC's Prime Time to dish the
details with none other than Diane Sawyer, which were well.
Ben had taken her to his childhood home in Boston
to show her where he grew up and When they
got to his childhood bedroom, there were candles and rose pedals.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Basic.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Then Ben read her a heartfelt letter he.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Had written, Okay, not bad.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Then he got on one knee.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I'd be more impressed if you told me. He started
walking on the ceiling and.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Gave her a six point one carrot pink diamond ring
valued at two point five million dollars.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Okay, okay, I take that shit back now. That is romance.
Giant diamonds are my love language.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
In the primetime interview, Jennifer described it as traditional, but
also in a very spectacular way. It was very, very beautiful.
The media frenzy reached new heights. They were Hollywood's it couple.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
The pair went off to film a new Kevin Smith
movie called Jersey Girl. Then Jillie Bond like.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Bomb, and that's when all the negative media coverage started
getting to Ben. Now he was truly overwhelmed. Ben said
he wanted a nice, quiet life with Jenny, but soon
he realized that it was never going to be possible. Later,
he would tell the British TV show Live, I think
jenn and I made a mistake and that we fell
(19:36):
in love. We were excited and maybe too accessible, he
shared at the time, I don't think either of us
anticipated the degree to which it would take on a
world of its own.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So the wedding was scheduled for September two thousand and three,
but they called it off days before the ceremony, citing
excessive media attention.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
But by two thousand and four it was called off
for good. Benefit was no more. Jennifer called it the
most heart breaking split of her life.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Why do you think they broke up?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We broke them up. Yeah, we broke up. Benefit. It
is our fault and listen. I don't like to take
the blame fulfilled relationships that I'm not a part of,
but as somebody who subscribed to all the DRAMs, I
do think that the public definitely has to take accountability
for how we oftentimes can damage relationships. Now I know
(20:33):
everyone's going to be like, oh my, yeah, there's a librities.
Don't feel bad for them. If they wanted to live
in private, they could moved to Alaska. Okay, lies, they
can't move to Alaska. Their careers are in LA. They
film in La, they live in LA. I don't know.
Ben brought up a really good point is that they
were too accessible it is somewhat their responsibility to keep
certain things private. Going on primetime with Diane Sawyer and
(20:56):
giving us more information just makes us want more information.
It's like a drug we can't stop taking.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
It really is such a tough spot because they were
so famous, and to go on and tell us about
their we were already following their journey. They were definitely
too accessible and it was their downfall.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
But and the other thing that is worth noting here
is I do believe that they wanted different things out
of the relationship.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I was going to say, do you think that they
wanted different things?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I do. I think they both wanted each other. It
was a very passionate and hot and heavy relationship. But
I think at this point in her life, Jennifer might
have been ready for something more at home, maybe kids,
maybe a white picket fence, and I don't think Ben
was ready for that. Ben wanted to party, live the
fucking vida loca as Hollywood's it boy and that's me,
(21:51):
that's my life. Ben wanted to be you, Joseph, and
so if he wasn't willing to give up being a bachelor,
and she wanted of family and kids and a man
at home every night at six point thirty. This wasn't
going to be the relationship for her.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Needless to say, Bennifer was dead Muerto and Jennifer was
single again.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
But not for long. It's two thousand and four. Jennifer
is coming off a painful breakup and back to back
movie disasters. So Jennifer does what Jennifer always does. She
goes off to work and joins the film Shaley Dance
with Richard Gear. The film isn't much to talk about,
(22:37):
but it does produce a duet with an old friend
of hers, Mark Anthony.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Oh I know where this goes.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So the last time we saw them together, Mark was
telling her not to love him and turning us back
to her.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Please refer to episode six. We talk all about it
in our music episode and while here at it, leave
a five star rating and share it. Come on, do
it BSh.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Back to Jenny. That was in nineteen ninety nine, and
they very briefly dated at the time, but their careers
were both taking off and they just didn't have time
for a relationship, so they went on their own ways.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But the attraction was there. I knew he was into her.
You could just see it in the video.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I know now, Remember how different Jennifer was to p
Diddy and Ben Well, not the case here. Both of
them were Puerto Rican, both were raised Catholic, and both
were now huge artists. Soon the two were head over
heels in love. But there was one small problem. Mark
(23:43):
was a married man. He was betrothed to former Miss
Universe Diana da Torris.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Exkiows me, he's leaving Miss Universe for Jennifer Lopez? Am
I looking at the right photos? Mark has it like that?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, looks like it. So Mark, being sensible, waits until
the relationship with j Loo is for reels for reels,
and then he divorces Dianetta. Oh yeah, and he marries
Jlo three days later.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
So seriously, is my Google broken? Women just be falling
head over heels for him With Mark Anthony, they.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Get married in a quiet ceremony in Beverly Hills, so quiet,
in fact, that the guests didn't even realize it was
a wedding until after they arrived. Soon the newlyweds are
dropping projects. They fly off together to Puerto Rico to
film Elcandante, one of my favorite movies about Hector Leveaux.
He produces and co writes her first Spanish language album,
(24:43):
Gomo amaun mouhe. And then they went on tour in
two thousand and seven, Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony and Goncierra.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Damn talk about a honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Oh and at the end of the tour they announced
they're expecting twins to be exact.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
And that's and everything changes for Jennifer.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
When she held the babies in her arm for the
first time, she says, I reached out and pulled them
to my chest and all I remember was kissing them
and saying I love you. It was instinctual, it was pure,
It was unconditional. This was love, a love I had
never felt before. It empowered me in a way that
I could have never imagined.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Wow wow, wow wow. How do you think from back
in our days when we were we were hanging and
partying and now, like, how do you think you get
up at that club tearing it up with mister Preble.
How has motherhood changed you now?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Oh my god, I'm a completely different person. Not to
say that parts of me don't still exist, It's just
they have had to be reworked in order for them
to make sense in my life. In who I am today.
There's a morning period that moms go through because there
is a loss like your old identity, Yeah, your old identity.
So it's important to mourn that. It's also important to
(26:01):
not fight the new identity. And that's hard, especially for
somebody who becomes a mother later in life, like Jennifer
did and like I did. So that's for sure one
of the reasons or one of the ways that mother
had changed me. The other thing has just made me
so much more vulnerable. I'm kind of a hard ass.
Most people that know me, not the big I'm not
(26:21):
a big crier. I don't like emote a lot, and
Santi will literally nuzzle in my neck and I'll fucking
start crying and I'm like, I love you or by
the way, or the other thing happens too, which this
is something people don't say. Or he'll give me a
dirty look or a disapproving glance, and it crushes me
(26:43):
because it makes me feel I've fallen short as his mother,
or I'm not doing enough, or I've disappointed him. So
both sides of that exist, and I'm sure Jennifer felt
a lot of this, and I can't even imagine going
through the birth of twins in the public eye way
that she did.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Sadly, after almost seven years, Mark and Jennifer's marriage isault
mister x Lopez out the house.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Looking back on their relationship, Mark was, according to Jennifer,
a man who came and saved me at my lowest moment.
But the two were different. They had different habits and
different ways of communicating, and soon it just wasn't working out.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Luckily, I guess they parted on good terms in twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And thankfully, motherly love brought Jlo to a life changing realization.
As she put it, children don't do what you tell
them to do. They do what they see you do.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
That's deep and also very true.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So Jennifer started doing the work so she could set
the example she wanted her children to see, and that
worked started with her.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
She said.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
She went back to every relationship from high school and
noticed she had never stopped to consider how special her
love was. She says, you deserve a love that is
as pure and special as the one you are giving.
My love has value. I have value. This was groundbreaking
to Jennifer. In her book True Love, Jennifer says, this
I was finally recognizing a really unhealthy pattern that had
(28:23):
entrapped me for so many years. I was always looking
for the other person to tell me I was great,
so I could feel good about myself. I lived for that.
I wanted their appreciation even worse if they didn't give
it to me, I tried even harder to prove to
them that I was worthy. I would keep trying to
fix things and make them better, searching for that validation.
I always thought the reason it wasn't working had to
(28:45):
be because I was doing something wrong. So no matter
how I was treated or what the other person did
in our relationship, all I cared about was getting his approval.
In fact, that would oftentimes become the glue that kept
these relationships together. Ultimately, love I wasn't giving myself I
was trying to get from others.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Wow, Wow, bitch? Was that Oprah? Or was that Jay?
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I am did we just go to JLO Church?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Preach? Bitch? Pre eh?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I need to monogram them on a T shirt or
a series of T shirts.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I think it would be a dress. It would be long,
be a blank be a blanket, cozy blanket. Wow. But
I feel like when you reach a certain age, I
am older I've been celebrating my twenty seventh birthday for
like thirteen years. But you learn that love is just
you have to search for it inside yourself. And I
(29:45):
love that the kids, her children, is what brought her
to learn to love herself.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, I think there's big moments in life that teach
you that lesson. For some people it's children. For some people,
it's an incredible discovery or experience and is that they
have when they're traveling. For some it's faith. It can
be anything, right, it's something that really questions the way
you exist in the world in your own space.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
That happened for me during COVID.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Well, and isn't that so powerful that you just decided
that you wanted to be different and then you chose differently?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
You know what? It was about digging deep And also
it's one of those things what Jayla had said where
going back to the relationships and thinking more about her
her role, And that's what I was looking for when
I was looking for a change. It was just my
new role as who I am now in this present
day and just kind of going through my past and
not reliving it but re understanding it in my present mindset.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
That makes perfect sense, And anyone who's been to therapy
knows the real work starts when you stop finding blame
in the other person and being like you did this
and you made me feel this, and instead flipping it
around and saying I feel this way, I'm responsible for this.
This is how I feel. When you make that switch
from projecting and blaming someone else to really looking inside,
(31:06):
that's when, like, the real growth happens. And this was
so serious growth. By the way, why have I not
read this book cover to cover? I'm ordering it right
now on one hundred. But heartbreak can't keep a good
j Lo down. After Mark, Jenny starts dating Passper Smart,
another backup dancer.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Let me just say right now, this girl has a type.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Honey, we all do, Joseph, what's yours?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I'm not even gonna go I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Anyway. Then she falls for Alex Rodriguez and the pair.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the pair date for a while. He's
her Instagram husband and number one fangirl, but Alex can't
stop fielding other bases. He is a cheetah and day
break up. Did I miss anything? Great benefit two point
zho Let's go.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Okay, fine, everything Joseph said, and yes, it is now
time for Bennefer two point zero, so you know all
about what Jennifer has been doing since her and Ben
broke up.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Ben put on some tight leather pants and started doing
flips and kicks.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
And oh, yeah, that's right, you made.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Daredevil, Daredevil.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I was just dreaming, bitch Daredevil. Joseph is in two
thousand and four movie starring Ben Jon Favreau and Jennifer Gardner.
Oh she's cute, she is, and Ben thought so too,
and soon they were a pair, and shortly after they
were married and had three children. While with Jennifer Garner, Yes,
(32:45):
Ben one another Oscar, this one for Best Picture, and
he starred as a very forgettable batman.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
He also went to rehab a couple more times.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Sadly that is true. Ben's habits and ways toured his
marriage with Garner, and soon they were no more. After Garner,
Ben was spotted dating, but most of the relationships fizzled
out quickly.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Rest in peace, the Anna the Adamas cut out. You
will always Pete famous.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Heh tea. Let me just say it again, head tea.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
If you know you know.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Then in early twenty twenty one, after singing God Bless America.
At Joe Biden's inauguration, Jalo flew to the dr to
continue filming her movie Shotgun Wedding. It was there that
she received an email from Ben, and soon the two
were in constant communication.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Wait an email? Really? Was he stuck back in the
two thousands? He thinks he's Tom Hanks. Anyways, then when
a Rod's busted, a us couldn't stay away from the
Southern charms Madison Lacroix and while Jlo said f you
and took the conversation from email to real life.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
By spring twenty twenty one, there were sightings of Ben
and Jlo in Montana, Miami, and soon it was official.
Bennifer was back.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
How crazy is this?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Oh so good? I remember the photos when he was
driving her in the suv. They landed in Montana and
were like, Montana does Jelo even like the mountains? Have
you ever seen this woman in a snowsuit?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I'm sure she packed some badass snowsuits? Dead ass well,
and like usual, Jennifer Waste died no time, and in
early twenty twenty two, the two went to Vegas and
got married.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'm sorry, I have to pause you there because the
fact that these two went to Las Vegas, Babe to
get married. Listen, it was just a formality because then,
in a celebration more fitting for two superstars, they hosted
a swanky affair months later at Ben's place in Savannah
(34:59):
with their closest friends and of course their children.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Oh, I was so mad I couldn't go.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
H Well, okay, I'm sorry. Not only did you get
an invite, but then you declined.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You know, I book up really really quickly, and my sculpting,
I'm like sculpting, sculpting, sculpting follow up sculpted by Joseph.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
My number one wish for all of our listeners is
that they find the same confidence that Joseph has in
his pinky finger. Okay, that's my wish for all of you.
So j Loo tells Rolling Stone that she's happy now,
happier than I've ever been at any time in my life.
And Jennifer credits that to knowing herself more and she's
(35:41):
pretty sure this time it's forever. When asked if round
two could lead to another painful split, j Lo says,
I don't think we would have got back together if
we thought that was where it was headed. We feel
like what we found again is so much more important
and how we protect that and how we live our lives.
What to share what not to share is the balance
(36:03):
that we have now, the benefit of experience and the
wisdom that we gained over the years.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
So much growth, Thank you therapy.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Doesn't it just feel well? Do you think it feels different?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
I one hundred percent think it feels different. I will
tell you this just from what I am actually learning
from Jlo in the book and the stuff that she says.
It's like she's just in a different place where she
is not in love with love, she is in love
with herself, and so it's totally different. And Ben being
having gone through what he went through with Jennifer Garner
(36:40):
and his kids and he's just grown totally too, so
it is different. They're both in completely different places in
their life. I also think that social media has changed
in itself, and if Ben hasn't been on social media
as actively as Jlo. Right, Jlo and her team know
exactly what needs to be put out there. They have
this down in a rhythm because it's now been ten
(37:01):
years or plus of social media and fast exposure and
a click and it's posted. So everything has changed for
them as well.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
While we think that social media gives us so much
accessibility into celebrities lives, I can tell you this as
an entertainment journalist. Celebrities and the people around them actually
control what you see as a fan as a consumer
(37:33):
of social media. So what you think is you're getting
this purely authentic, accessible, organic experience with a celebrity. You're not.
It's incredibly micromanaged, and not everybody, but when you are
someone like Jennifer or Been, everything has a purpose and
nothing is posted without a reason or without something being
(37:54):
attached to it. So I do think that they are
controlling the narrative. And that's what social media has done
for celebrities that use it the right way, and that's
a powerful tool. We've talked about the looks.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
No, no, no, bitch, you mean the lurk.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
The songs and the hooks.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I'm still I'm still Jenny from the bluff.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh the acting, doesn't money make you horny?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
It's from hustlers.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, right, And today he.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Tackles love hmmm, so what's left?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I think that's it. There are so many sides to her,
but when it comes to Jlo, I think you could
easily do ten episodes and you would barely scratch the surface.
She's just that iconic. On the next Becoming an Icon,
Jaylo may have played a stripper and hustlers, but our
next icon was the real deal stripper, reality star, a
(38:57):
record breaking Grammy winning artist. There is no one quite
like her. Nope, not at all, and that's why she's
so iconic. Next up, La Mamasita, herself a Cardi b Am.
Becoming an Icon is presented by Sonoo and Iheart's Michael
(39:19):
Duda podcast Network. Listen to Becoming an Icon on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast
I can't believe we've made it all the way here,
but we are almost at the end of our journey
with Jennifer Lopez.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Exki, how's me? Do you mean Jennifer Affleck?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
Okay, good catch, I mean Jennifer Affleck. Twenty years after
Jennifer one point zero, they find each other again.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Does the sign of the cross? Amen, Santa Elizabeth Taylor
looking down and smiling on their souls.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
By the way, I would totally worship at a church where
she's a saint.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I already do m M.
Speaker 1 (00:39):
And just like your patron, Saint Elizabeth. Of the many
many things that Jennifer is known for, relationships might be
number two, maybe number one. For the last twenty five years,
Jalo has been half of some of the world's most
famous power couples.
Speaker 2 (00:56):
If it's a power couple and she's the only constant.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
Then she brings all the power.
Speaker 2 (01:04):
You said it. Love jail out there just making these
men famous.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
It's time, Joseph, let's dive into one of the most
talked about women when it comes to love. And it
may not be exactly what you expect, but yes, we
do promise you plenty of cheese men.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh yes, and this tea is piping hot.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
But before we get to that, there's also another kind
of story here about love, and not just romantic love.
This story is about the kind of love you have
to find for yourself and the kind of love that
only finds you after motherhood.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
I believe the children are the future. Teach them well
and let them lead the way.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Right, Yes, that's right, that kind of love. And today
it is all about amore, the ups, the downs, the
world with romances, the courtships, the breakups. Yes, those two.
Today on becoming an Icon, he Diddy.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
A backup Danza benefit, Marc Anthony another backup Dansa a
rod benefit two point zero.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Okay, We've got a lot of amends to talk about,
so we better get to it. Oh and six engagements
and four marriages. I'm your host, Lilianavasquez.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
And I'm Joseph Carrio and this is Becoming an Icon.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
A weekly podcast where we give you the rundown on
how today's most famous LATINX stars have shaped pop culture.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
And given the world some extras at all.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Sit back and get comfortable.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Because we are.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Going in the only way we know how.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
With Buena Visi bunasriesas, and a lot of opinions as
we relive their greatest achievements on our journey to find
out what makes them so iconic.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
We have to start the episode by saying this. Jennifer
is a hopeless romantic. In her twenty eleven book True Love,
she says this, Throughout my life, I've had a few
serious relationships. Each relationship was different, and each relationship had
its own issues, but there was one thing they all
had in common. They all had a passionate intensity that
I missed took every time for my happily ever after.
(03:33):
In each relationship, I thought my childhood fairy tale was
coming to life, and that was all that mattered to
me at the time.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
Wow, would you consider yourself a hopeless romantic?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
Absolutely not. No, I am not. I am such a
realist bordering on a pessimist, So I do not relate
to being in love with falling in love. I'm actually
more fearful of falling in love than anything else. I
have friends that are like Jennifer, that just are in
love after the first date or they go on a trip,
(04:06):
and I'm the one that's always like, okay, girl, slow down,
have you asked these questions, have you communicated love languages?
So I'm much more thoughtful and pragmatic. So I'm the
opposite of a hopeless romantic. But for her, she obviously
believes in multiple soulmates. Do you believe in a soulmate
(04:27):
or soulmates?
Speaker 2 (04:28):
I believe that love is not something that's tangible that
you can give. I think it's a feeling that you
have within yourself. So I think that you can fall
in love multiple times with different people because you've allowed
yourself to be vulnerable to feel that feeling. Because essentially
love is you loving yourself. So I think, going back
to soulmates, it's when you let go and then you
(04:49):
feel almost like your home or yourself, and it could
be with your best friend. So I believe in soulmates
like that, and I believe that a soulmate could be
a lover.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
I hear what you're saying. I do think your point
about being in life love or giving the most love
to yourself first and foremost is the foundation for any
successful relationship, whether it's romantic, platonic, friendship, mother child, whatever
it is. And I actually think that you touch on
something that Jlo comes to discover about herself. But what
(05:17):
we can all agree with is that before we even
knew Jennifer as Jlo, she was already hopelessly in love.
His name was David Krups, and they met while they
were both in high school.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
Get this.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
He took her to prom and she wore addressed that
she made.
Speaker 2 (05:36):
Okay, one, we need to find that photo of that
damn dress because I want to see what she was wearing.
And number two, huh, that's cute.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Jennifer was a good kid until she met.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
David, and then homegirls started sneaking out and getting her
some that's t girl, that is she did.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
But you know who was not a fan of that.
Her mom Loopid. She was afraid that Jennifer was going
to end up pregnant, so she had to sneak out
to see David. In February of twenty twenty two, she
told Rolling Stone that she would sneak out using a ladder.
Lopez said, I was good at sneaking out, but when
I did get caught, it was bad.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
Oh my god, Caiscandalo, Yeah, you.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
Don't want to cross a Latino mom when she finds
you comeing in the window at six am.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
Okay, chunk.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
But here's the thing. This wasn't just high school though.
Jennifer and David dated for ten years, from when she
moved out to La to be on in Living Color
to when she was supposed to go on tour with Janet.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
But when Jennifer's career started taking off, obviously, David started
feeling movie and segudo, and soon they broke up.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
That was her first love, and not too long ago,
David Cruz passed away from heart disease.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Oh no.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
When she heard the news, Jennifer called David's mom on
a number Jennifer still knew by heart, cried together, and
as Jennifer told Rolling Stone, she said, you get lucky
you have a first love like that. Joseph.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
I'm not crying. I'm fine. Just go, okay, just go.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Soon, Jennifer's career took off and she was in movie
after movie.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
While filming in Miami, Jennifer met Ohanni Noah No, not
my honey, your honey, a Cuban born waiter at Ladio's
aka thea Glodia Steffun's restaurant.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
He was an aspiring model and the two hit it off.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
These two were in deep head over heels.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
So much so that at the rap party for Selena,
Ohanni surprised everyone, including Jennifer, by proposing to her.
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Boy, don't be coming over here with that shit. Let's
talk about it. Make sure my nails are done. Make
sure you got my engagement pinters board. M m.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, here's the thing. None of that would have mattered anyway,
because the relationship didn't last. Eleven months later, they filed
for divorce.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Exactly him coming to propose to her.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
She wasn't j low, but she had just made a
million dollars for Selena. He smelled, muh nie huhne.
Speaker 2 (08:20):
She could have been a reality TV show. He would
have still proposed.
Speaker 1 (08:24):
Jennifer had dated and now divorced a man that wasn't
her professional equal. He admittedly couldn't handle her meteoric rise
host Selena.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Which she can go back and learn all about that
ass on episode four.
Speaker 1 (08:37):
But the next love of her life, well, he had
been all around the world. Of course, we're talking about
none other than.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
He did he yo. In the late nineties, there were
few music stars bigger than Sean Puffy Combs.
Speaker 1 (08:57):
Puffy as he was known then, had found fame as
a producer for the notorious Big I.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Love it when you call me Big Poppa.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
Yes, I love that song. God, the music was so
good back then, miss it. I need to take a
five minute break and listen to that song just to
get me in the mood.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
So good.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Puffy produced and promoted Biggie through his record company Bad Boy,
which is one of the hottest music labels around. Puffy
was an innovator and a performer. So when Puffy called
Jennifer and said, hey, girl, come be in my video
for Ben around the World, Jennifer said, uh, okay, he did,
he where and when? And it was on that set
where they met and became.
Speaker 2 (09:38):
Good friends, just good friends.
Speaker 1 (09:42):
Well see, she was still with David Cruse, so she
kept it friendly. But did he wanted more?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Oh yeah. He was hitting her up non stop and.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
When she started recording on the six he did her
a solid and even produced a few tracks for her.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
Listen all that time alone in a recording studio long nights.
I know exactly what that fool was up to.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Well, Joseph, it worked because soon Jennifer and Cruz were
no more and she started dating the rapper. And at
the time, this was a very big deal. Let us
remind you work. Jennifer was a young and up and
coming actress. She had a reputation as a good girl. Coffee,
on the other hand, had been involved in all of
(10:30):
that infamous East Coast West Coast bef and he was
even riding in the car ahead of his protege, the
notorious Big when Biggie got shot.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
But for real, he didn't have the best reputation. The
pair dated for two years and he was instrumental in
her early success.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
But one faithful night in a Manhattan night club is
passed caught up to them. So it's nineteen ninety nine
and these two love birds are at a club with
a young rapper name Shine. Then out of nowhere, let's
just say, a criminal figure from the underworld comes up
to them throws a lot of cash at Puffy.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
What Yes.
Speaker 1 (11:14):
They start arguing and yelling, then gunshots ring out around
the table. Puffy grabs j Lo all her furs and
they run out of the club and flee in his
black suv. The police start chasing the suv through the
streets of New York. Puffy driver blows through ten red
lights before he finally pulls over.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Oh my god, I can't even believe they made it
through ten red lights.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, and when the police search the car, they find
a stolen loaded gun.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Girl, Puffy, you know, damn well, this thank Florida.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
Everyone is arrested, yes, including Jennifer in cuffs, and not
even the sexy kind, the NYPD criminal kind of cuffs.
This kind of thing can wreck a career. J Lo
knew it and called it the worst night of her life.
(12:09):
The charges against her were eventually dropped, but Puffy got charged.
His trial takes two years, and Jennifer is ride or die.
She stands by Diddy through the entire ordeal, but when
it's done, girl is done. She later said the entire
thing was too much and called it emotionally exhausting. Fast
(12:32):
forward to twenty twenty, Diddy posted an old photo of
him and Jennifer holding hands and caption it a throwback
post from a great time in my life.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Uh were these two in the same relationship?
Speaker 1 (12:45):
This is like toxic masculine energy I have never seen.
This woman got handcuffed and taken to jail because of you,
And you're like, oh, I.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Remember this time?
Speaker 1 (13:00):
What was he thinking? And aside from this one, incident.
Do you remember Jennifer talking about her relationship with p Diddy.
He was the bad boy at the time.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
And he was the baddest boy at the time.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
He was, and he put her through some shit. I
remember her telling a story in Vibe magazine where she
described that she always had this feeling that he was
doing something right. She u huh. There were like shade,
so much shade. There were even alleged reports that she
(13:40):
would hunt him down and knock on hotel room doors
looking for him. This shit is a music video.
Speaker 2 (13:46):
I love that they need to redo it, but.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
It was her real life. No woman wants to live
in this. And here's the quote that Jennifer gave Vibe
describing the relationship. She says, I was in this relationship
with Puff where I was totally crying, crazy and going nuts.
It really took my whole life in a tailspin. So sorry, Diddy,
that throwback post not the greatest time in her life, buddy.
Speaker 2 (14:12):
She just saw it as something that he was going
through all this stuff, so it was just kind of
like a normal weekend for him. For her, it was
life changing. In handcuffs, the good girl, the good girl
gone bad.
Speaker 1 (14:23):
What she was not here for it. But one thing
that people always talk about is how instrumental this high
profile relationship was to kind of launching her to a
different level of fame. I'll tell you who really benefited
from this relationship, you and I because hello, Hello, it
gave so much that time. I mean it was just
(14:44):
to me. It was so fun to watch. After all
the ditty drama, Jlo refocused on her music, and in
the progress of shooting a video for Love Don't Cost
a Thing, she met a choreographer named Chris Judd. Soon
the two.
Speaker 2 (14:59):
Were no, no, no, no, no, No one here cares about Chris
j Chris Judd, don't even give a fuck about Chris Judd.
His mama don't care. I don't care, Jodan, the pussycats
don't care. Let's just skip it, please and go to benefit.
Speaker 1 (15:12):
Okay, okay, but listen, the journalist in me does have
to lay down some facts.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
Thirty seconds start the timer. Yeah, go okay.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Jud was a dancer. The relationship moved really fast, safe
to call it a total rebound. They got engaged, they
were married after a month, and after only nine months
of what it list, Jlo and Judd did file for divorce,
and then somewhere in there she met Ben. Did I
make it?
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You totally did ten seconds? Who benefer. The couple met
on the set of Jilie.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
At the time, she was still married, but the attraction
between the two was irresistible. In twenty sixteen, Jennifer told
People mag that when she first met Ben, her first
thought was, Okay, this is it.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
Girl. She'd be saying that shit a lot.
Speaker 1 (16:09):
Well, she feels it a lot. She's a hopeless romantic
and we'll get into that soon. First, do you remember
when we talked about Puffy, We talked about how different
him and Jlo were.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Uh. Yeah, he was the bad boy and she was the.
Speaker 1 (16:23):
Good girl exactly. Beni Jen were also total opposites, but
in a different way. Ben was Tinseltown's golden boy. At
the time. He went to Occidental.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
Whatever that means.
Speaker 1 (16:37):
He was fresh off an oscar for co writing Goodwill
Hunting with his BFF Matt Damon.
Speaker 2 (16:43):
So he's smart.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
He's very smart, well respected, and a huge movie star.
After Goodwill Hunting he made major blockbuster films and in
four short years he became a household name.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
That is a lot it is, and he.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
Wasn't handling it very well. In two thousand and one,
he entered rehab for the very first time. Ben was
feeling overwhelmed, and soon he was going to be in
an even bigger spotlight, one he would share with Jennifer Lopez.
They were everywhere. The media frenzy was non stop. Every
tabloid featured their photo on the cover, and we were
(17:23):
hungry for all the deats.
Speaker 2 (17:25):
But let's keep it one hundred. It's not like they
weren't in on it.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
Good point. They totally were. In Jamel's video for Jenny
from the Block, the couple is being chased by paparazzi
while they go about their business, walking the dogs, pumping gas, getting.
Speaker 2 (17:41):
Groceries, sunbathing on a yacht, slapping that a as a
driving a rolls.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Exactly just normal everyday things.
Speaker 2 (17:52):
And let's not forget that they published every moment, even
the intimate ones.
Speaker 1 (17:58):
Oh my gosh, how could I forget? Right after their engagement,
they even went on ABC's Prime Time to dish the
details with none other than Diane Sawyer, which were well.
Ben had taken her to his childhood home in Boston
to show her where he grew up and When they
got to his childhood bedroom, there were candles and rose pedals.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Basic.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Then Ben read her a heartfelt letter he.
Speaker 2 (18:24):
Had written, Okay, not bad.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
Then he got on one knee.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
I'd be more impressed if you told me. He started
walking on the ceiling and.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
Gave her a six point one carrot pink diamond ring
valued at two point five million dollars.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Okay, okay, I take that shit back now. That is romance.
Giant diamonds are my love language.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
In the primetime interview, Jennifer described it as traditional, but
also in a very spectacular way. It was very, very beautiful.
The media frenzy reached new heights. They were Hollywood's it couple.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
The pair went off to film a new Kevin Smith
movie called Jersey Girl. Then Jillie Bond like.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Bomb, and that's when all the negative media coverage started
getting to Ben. Now he was truly overwhelmed. Ben said
he wanted a nice, quiet life with Jenny, but soon
he realized that it was never going to be possible. Later,
he would tell the British TV show Live, I think
jenn and I made a mistake and that we fell
(19:36):
in love. We were excited and maybe too accessible, he
shared at the time, I don't think either of us
anticipated the degree to which it would take on a
world of its own.
Speaker 2 (19:46):
So the wedding was scheduled for September two thousand and three,
but they called it off days before the ceremony, citing
excessive media attention.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
But by two thousand and four it was called off
for good. Benefit was no more. Jennifer called it the
most heart breaking split of her life.
Speaker 2 (20:07):
Why do you think they broke up?
Speaker 1 (20:08):
We broke them up. Yeah, we broke up. Benefit. It
is our fault and listen. I don't like to take
the blame fulfilled relationships that I'm not a part of,
but as somebody who subscribed to all the DRAMs, I
do think that the public definitely has to take accountability
for how we oftentimes can damage relationships. Now I know
(20:33):
everyone's going to be like, oh my, yeah, there's a librities.
Don't feel bad for them. If they wanted to live
in private, they could moved to Alaska. Okay, lies, they
can't move to Alaska. Their careers are in LA. They
film in La, they live in LA. I don't know.
Ben brought up a really good point is that they
were too accessible it is somewhat their responsibility to keep
certain things private. Going on primetime with Diane Sawyer and
(20:56):
giving us more information just makes us want more information.
It's like a drug we can't stop taking.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
It really is such a tough spot because they were
so famous, and to go on and tell us about
their we were already following their journey. They were definitely
too accessible and it was their downfall.
Speaker 1 (21:16):
But and the other thing that is worth noting here
is I do believe that they wanted different things out
of the relationship.
Speaker 2 (21:25):
I was going to say, do you think that they
wanted different things?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
I do. I think they both wanted each other. It
was a very passionate and hot and heavy relationship. But
I think at this point in her life, Jennifer might
have been ready for something more at home, maybe kids,
maybe a white picket fence, and I don't think Ben
was ready for that. Ben wanted to party, live the
fucking vida loca as Hollywood's it boy and that's me,
(21:51):
that's my life. Ben wanted to be you, Joseph, and
so if he wasn't willing to give up being a bachelor,
and she wanted of family and kids and a man
at home every night at six point thirty. This wasn't
going to be the relationship for her.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
Needless to say, Bennifer was dead Muerto and Jennifer was
single again.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
But not for long. It's two thousand and four. Jennifer
is coming off a painful breakup and back to back
movie disasters. So Jennifer does what Jennifer always does. She
goes off to work and joins the film Shaley Dance
with Richard Gear. The film isn't much to talk about,
(22:37):
but it does produce a duet with an old friend
of hers, Mark Anthony.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Oh I know where this goes.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
So the last time we saw them together, Mark was
telling her not to love him and turning us back
to her.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Please refer to episode six. We talk all about it
in our music episode and while here at it, leave
a five star rating and share it. Come on, do
it BSh.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Back to Jenny. That was in nineteen ninety nine, and
they very briefly dated at the time, but their careers
were both taking off and they just didn't have time
for a relationship, so they went on their own ways.
Speaker 2 (23:14):
But the attraction was there. I knew he was into her.
You could just see it in the video.
Speaker 1 (23:20):
I know now, Remember how different Jennifer was to p
Diddy and Ben Well, not the case here. Both of
them were Puerto Rican, both were raised Catholic, and both
were now huge artists. Soon the two were head over
heels in love. But there was one small problem. Mark
(23:43):
was a married man. He was betrothed to former Miss
Universe Diana da Torris.
Speaker 2 (23:49):
Exkiows me, he's leaving Miss Universe for Jennifer Lopez? Am
I looking at the right photos? Mark has it like that?
Speaker 1 (24:00):
Yeah, looks like it. So Mark, being sensible, waits until
the relationship with j Loo is for reels for reels,
and then he divorces Dianetta. Oh yeah, and he marries
Jlo three days later.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
So seriously, is my Google broken? Women just be falling
head over heels for him With Mark Anthony, they.
Speaker 1 (24:21):
Get married in a quiet ceremony in Beverly Hills, so quiet,
in fact, that the guests didn't even realize it was
a wedding until after they arrived. Soon the newlyweds are
dropping projects. They fly off together to Puerto Rico to
film Elcandante, one of my favorite movies about Hector Leveaux.
He produces and co writes her first Spanish language album,
(24:43):
Gomo amaun mouhe. And then they went on tour in
two thousand and seven, Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony and Goncierra.
Speaker 2 (24:51):
Damn talk about a honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
Oh and at the end of the tour they announced
they're expecting twins to be exact.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
And that's and everything changes for Jennifer.
Speaker 1 (25:05):
When she held the babies in her arm for the
first time, she says, I reached out and pulled them
to my chest and all I remember was kissing them
and saying I love you. It was instinctual, it was pure,
It was unconditional. This was love, a love I had
never felt before. It empowered me in a way that
I could have never imagined.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Wow wow, wow wow. How do you think from back
in our days when we were we were hanging and
partying and now, like, how do you think you get
up at that club tearing it up with mister Preble.
How has motherhood changed you now?
Speaker 1 (25:40):
Oh my god, I'm a completely different person. Not to
say that parts of me don't still exist, It's just
they have had to be reworked in order for them
to make sense in my life. In who I am today.
There's a morning period that moms go through because there
is a loss like your old identity, Yeah, your old identity.
So it's important to mourn that. It's also important to
(26:01):
not fight the new identity. And that's hard, especially for
somebody who becomes a mother later in life, like Jennifer
did and like I did. So that's for sure one
of the reasons or one of the ways that mother
had changed me. The other thing has just made me
so much more vulnerable. I'm kind of a hard ass.
Most people that know me, not the big I'm not
(26:21):
a big crier. I don't like emote a lot, and
Santi will literally nuzzle in my neck and I'll fucking
start crying and I'm like, I love you or by
the way, or the other thing happens too, which this
is something people don't say. Or he'll give me a
dirty look or a disapproving glance, and it crushes me
(26:43):
because it makes me feel I've fallen short as his mother,
or I'm not doing enough, or I've disappointed him. So
both sides of that exist, and I'm sure Jennifer felt
a lot of this, and I can't even imagine going
through the birth of twins in the public eye way
that she did.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Sadly, after almost seven years, Mark and Jennifer's marriage isault
mister x Lopez out the house.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Looking back on their relationship, Mark was, according to Jennifer,
a man who came and saved me at my lowest moment.
But the two were different. They had different habits and
different ways of communicating, and soon it just wasn't working out.
Speaker 2 (27:36):
Luckily, I guess they parted on good terms in twenty ten.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
And thankfully, motherly love brought Jlo to a life changing realization.
As she put it, children don't do what you tell
them to do. They do what they see you do.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
That's deep and also very true.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
So Jennifer started doing the work so she could set
the example she wanted her children to see, and that
worked started with her.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
She said.
Speaker 1 (28:01):
She went back to every relationship from high school and
noticed she had never stopped to consider how special her
love was. She says, you deserve a love that is
as pure and special as the one you are giving.
My love has value. I have value. This was groundbreaking
to Jennifer. In her book True Love, Jennifer says, this
I was finally recognizing a really unhealthy pattern that had
(28:23):
entrapped me for so many years. I was always looking
for the other person to tell me I was great,
so I could feel good about myself. I lived for that.
I wanted their appreciation even worse if they didn't give
it to me, I tried even harder to prove to
them that I was worthy. I would keep trying to
fix things and make them better, searching for that validation.
I always thought the reason it wasn't working had to
(28:45):
be because I was doing something wrong. So no matter
how I was treated or what the other person did
in our relationship, all I cared about was getting his approval.
In fact, that would oftentimes become the glue that kept
these relationships together. Ultimately, love I wasn't giving myself I
was trying to get from others.
Speaker 2 (29:05):
Wow, Wow, bitch? Was that Oprah? Or was that Jay?
Excuse me?
Speaker 1 (29:12):
I am did we just go to JLO Church?
Speaker 2 (29:16):
Preach? Bitch? Pre eh?
Speaker 1 (29:19):
I need to monogram them on a T shirt or
a series of T shirts.
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I think it would be a dress. It would be long,
be a blank be a blanket, cozy blanket. Wow. But
I feel like when you reach a certain age, I
am older I've been celebrating my twenty seventh birthday for
like thirteen years. But you learn that love is just
you have to search for it inside yourself. And I
(29:45):
love that the kids, her children, is what brought her
to learn to love herself.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Yeah, I think there's big moments in life that teach
you that lesson. For some people it's children. For some people,
it's an incredible discovery or experience and is that they
have when they're traveling. For some it's faith. It can
be anything, right, it's something that really questions the way
you exist in the world in your own space.
Speaker 2 (30:09):
That happened for me during COVID.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
Well, and isn't that so powerful that you just decided
that you wanted to be different and then you chose differently?
Speaker 2 (30:18):
You know what? It was about digging deep And also
it's one of those things what Jayla had said where
going back to the relationships and thinking more about her
her role, And that's what I was looking for when
I was looking for a change. It was just my
new role as who I am now in this present
day and just kind of going through my past and
not reliving it but re understanding it in my present mindset.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
That makes perfect sense, And anyone who's been to therapy
knows the real work starts when you stop finding blame
in the other person and being like you did this
and you made me feel this, and instead flipping it
around and saying I feel this way, I'm responsible for this.
This is how I feel. When you make that switch
from projecting and blaming someone else to really looking inside,
(31:06):
that's when, like, the real growth happens. And this was
so serious growth. By the way, why have I not
read this book cover to cover? I'm ordering it right
now on one hundred. But heartbreak can't keep a good
j Lo down. After Mark, Jenny starts dating Passper Smart,
another backup dancer.
Speaker 2 (31:26):
Let me just say right now, this girl has a type.
Speaker 1 (31:29):
Honey, we all do, Joseph, what's yours?
Speaker 2 (31:33):
I'm not even gonna go I'm not doing this.
Speaker 1 (31:37):
Anyway. Then she falls for Alex Rodriguez and the pair.
Speaker 2 (31:42):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the pair date for a while. He's
her Instagram husband and number one fangirl, but Alex can't
stop fielding other bases. He is a cheetah and day
break up. Did I miss anything? Great benefit two point
zho Let's go.
Speaker 1 (31:59):
Okay, fine, everything Joseph said, and yes, it is now
time for Bennefer two point zero, so you know all
about what Jennifer has been doing since her and Ben
broke up.
Speaker 2 (32:12):
Ben put on some tight leather pants and started doing
flips and kicks.
Speaker 1 (32:17):
And oh, yeah, that's right, you made.
Speaker 2 (32:20):
Daredevil, Daredevil.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I was just dreaming, bitch Daredevil. Joseph is in two
thousand and four movie starring Ben Jon Favreau and Jennifer Gardner.
Oh she's cute, she is, and Ben thought so too,
and soon they were a pair, and shortly after they
were married and had three children. While with Jennifer Garner, Yes,
(32:45):
Ben one another Oscar, this one for Best Picture, and
he starred as a very forgettable batman.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
He also went to rehab a couple more times.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Sadly that is true. Ben's habits and ways toured his
marriage with Garner, and soon they were no more. After Garner,
Ben was spotted dating, but most of the relationships fizzled
out quickly.
Speaker 2 (33:10):
Rest in peace, the Anna the Adamas cut out. You
will always Pete famous.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Heh tea. Let me just say it again, head tea.
Speaker 2 (33:20):
If you know you know.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
Then in early twenty twenty one, after singing God Bless America.
At Joe Biden's inauguration, Jalo flew to the dr to
continue filming her movie Shotgun Wedding. It was there that
she received an email from Ben, and soon the two
were in constant communication.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Wait an email? Really? Was he stuck back in the
two thousands? He thinks he's Tom Hanks. Anyways, then when
a Rod's busted, a us couldn't stay away from the
Southern charms Madison Lacroix and while Jlo said f you
and took the conversation from email to real life.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
By spring twenty twenty one, there were sightings of Ben
and Jlo in Montana, Miami, and soon it was official.
Bennifer was back.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
How crazy is this?
Speaker 1 (34:15):
Oh so good? I remember the photos when he was
driving her in the suv. They landed in Montana and
were like, Montana does Jelo even like the mountains? Have
you ever seen this woman in a snowsuit?
Speaker 2 (34:27):
I'm sure she packed some badass snowsuits? Dead ass well,
and like usual, Jennifer Waste died no time, and in
early twenty twenty two, the two went to Vegas and
got married.
Speaker 1 (34:39):
I'm sorry, I have to pause you there because the
fact that these two went to Las Vegas, Babe to
get married. Listen, it was just a formality because then,
in a celebration more fitting for two superstars, they hosted
a swanky affair months later at Ben's place in Savannah
(34:59):
with their closest friends and of course their children.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
Oh, I was so mad I couldn't go.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
H Well, okay, I'm sorry. Not only did you get
an invite, but then you declined.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
You know, I book up really really quickly, and my sculpting,
I'm like sculpting, sculpting, sculpting follow up sculpted by Joseph.
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:20):
My number one wish for all of our listeners is
that they find the same confidence that Joseph has in
his pinky finger. Okay, that's my wish for all of you.
So j Loo tells Rolling Stone that she's happy now,
happier than I've ever been at any time in my life.
And Jennifer credits that to knowing herself more and she's
(35:41):
pretty sure this time it's forever. When asked if round
two could lead to another painful split, j Lo says,
I don't think we would have got back together if
we thought that was where it was headed. We feel
like what we found again is so much more important
and how we protect that and how we live our lives.
What to share what not to share is the balance
(36:03):
that we have now, the benefit of experience and the
wisdom that we gained over the years.
Speaker 2 (36:10):
So much growth, Thank you therapy.
Speaker 1 (36:14):
Doesn't it just feel well? Do you think it feels different?
Speaker 2 (36:17):
I one hundred percent think it feels different. I will
tell you this just from what I am actually learning
from Jlo in the book and the stuff that she says.
It's like she's just in a different place where she
is not in love with love, she is in love
with herself, and so it's totally different. And Ben being
having gone through what he went through with Jennifer Garner
(36:40):
and his kids and he's just grown totally too, so
it is different. They're both in completely different places in
their life. I also think that social media has changed
in itself, and if Ben hasn't been on social media
as actively as Jlo. Right, Jlo and her team know
exactly what needs to be put out there. They have
this down in a rhythm because it's now been ten
(37:01):
years or plus of social media and fast exposure and
a click and it's posted. So everything has changed for
them as well.
Speaker 1 (37:13):
While we think that social media gives us so much
accessibility into celebrities lives, I can tell you this as
an entertainment journalist. Celebrities and the people around them actually
control what you see as a fan as a consumer
(37:33):
of social media. So what you think is you're getting
this purely authentic, accessible, organic experience with a celebrity. You're not.
It's incredibly micromanaged, and not everybody, but when you are
someone like Jennifer or Been, everything has a purpose and
nothing is posted without a reason or without something being
(37:54):
attached to it. So I do think that they are
controlling the narrative. And that's what social media has done
for celebrities that use it the right way, and that's
a powerful tool. We've talked about the looks.
Speaker 2 (38:11):
No, no, no, bitch, you mean the lurk.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
The songs and the hooks.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
I'm still I'm still Jenny from the bluff.
Speaker 2 (38:22):
Oh the acting, doesn't money make you horny?
Speaker 1 (38:26):
Excuse me?
Speaker 2 (38:27):
It's from hustlers.
Speaker 1 (38:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, right, And today he.
Speaker 2 (38:31):
Tackles love hmmm, so what's left?
Speaker 1 (38:36):
I think that's it. There are so many sides to her,
but when it comes to Jlo, I think you could
easily do ten episodes and you would barely scratch the surface.
She's just that iconic. On the next Becoming an Icon,
Jaylo may have played a stripper and hustlers, but our
next icon was the real deal stripper, reality star, a
(38:57):
record breaking Grammy winning artist. There is no one quite
like her. Nope, not at all, and that's why she's
so iconic. Next up, La Mamasita, herself a Cardi b Am.
Becoming an Icon is presented by Sonoo and Iheart's Michael
(39:19):
Duda podcast Network. Listen to Becoming an Icon on the
iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast
Hosts And Creators
Lilliana Vazquez
Joseph Carrillo
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