September 25, 2019 • 42 mins
Gabbie Hanna, formally known as “The Gabbie Show,” is a YouTube OG. With almost 7M subscribers on YouTube and 4M followers on Instagram, she is undeniably a person of influence...but a “show” was the furthest thing I experienced when chatting with her. Gabbie was raw, real, and had such an interesting and evolved perspective on the digital world that she lives in. Some takeaways you’ll get from this podcast: why she’s no longer “The Gabbie Show,” but Gabbie Hanna, her thoughts on cancel culture and the sometimes toxic YouTube, what inspired her EP (the story is kinda crazy - I didn’t even believe at first), and how her platform has enabled her to transition into the world of her true passion: music.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Behind the Influence, a production of I Heart
Radio and TDC Media. There was this big scandal where
I can't sing and all this stuff, and it forced
me to write my best song yet. Congratulations to Gabby Hannah.
He ended up hitting number one and two at the
top of US iTunes music. It doesn't sound like a
real story. People always say to me, like, oh, there's
(00:21):
no way this stuff happens to I thought it was,
but I instantly lost fifteen thousand subscribers within an hour
or so. Nobody liked. Really, I wonder why the term influencer.
You clearly that I do too, and so I created
a show called The Influence. So you you are considered
(00:43):
an influencer. How do you feel being put in that?
I mean, obviously you have so many talents. I guess
to me, the word just sounds kind of weird, But
it just comes down to semantics and whatever. If you
want to call me that, that's fine. But when you
put it into perspective of what it actually means is
somebody who influence, it's as people. It's kind of scary
because I never looked at myself as somebody who's like
(01:03):
I'm going to influence the youth of our generation, and
that is terrifying, because I'm not that persons should be
Probably well, I mean, you have six point five a
million subscribers if not more, on YouTube, and then you
have almost four million followers. I did have four million
at one point, and then Instagram did their sweep and
then I was a meme and then I lost the
(01:23):
bunch and then it still so six point five million
subscribers on YouTube, almost four million on Instagram. You have influence,
So it's a huge responsibility. You have a lot of
people checking up on you every day. Some people are
die hard fans. Some people, as we were discussing right
before the interview, are probably just looking to see when
they can just swoop in and cause some problems. Yeah. Sometimes,
(01:47):
but also if there's somebody who cares enough about me
to follow me because they hate me and they want
to see if I'm going to say or do something dumb,
then I mean there's still a fan. Actually, you probably
have way more than six point five million subscribers, because
you know, people watched the videos and just don't subscribe. Yeah.
I actually thought about that the other day because I
was trying to think about how many people in the
world don't know me yet, because obviously it's a massive
(02:08):
number of people who don't know me. But then I
was like, well, six point five, probably only about one
time percent of people who have seen me subscribe. So
that's scary too to think about how many people have
seen you in passing. And that's not even including like
uploaded content that Facebook pages have taken my compilations and
put them, and those have a hundred million views. And
that's just people that have no idea who I. It's
crazy to think about. Yeah, and scary, weird and gross.
(02:33):
So on the topic of scary you of all these
people with their eyeballs on you, have you ever had
a situation that is actually been scary with a fan? Yeah?
I actually currently have a stalker, which I guess I
shouldn't say too much about because Ascerbaby, I didn't mean
to show up. I can't believe you started this whole podcast.
(02:55):
This is unreal. I've never been in a situation. No,
I actually have been in a situation where I felt
really actually scared and I had to get um a
security guard to follow me around while I was in
New York. It was the first time I was in
New York for MTV, and there was somebody, can we
swear on here? What's the I think we can? Let
me get some clear because he was saying some really
vulgar stuff, saying like, next time you're in New York,
(03:15):
you better beef up your security because you will be
dead next time I see you, and then talking about
like burying up my dead grandma and like fucking her skull,
and like like killing and raping my baby sister. Like
it was dark, and this was right after the Vegas shootings,
and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna be
in Times Square and this guy is telling many to
beef up my security and he's gonna kill me and
he's clearly very angry. So that was really scary. Like
(03:37):
walking around in New York that weekend, I had my
eyes peeled. And then my phone got hacked that same weekend,
like drastically hacked, like they stole my phone number, put
their SIM card on their phone, so I lost my
phone number. So they were getting all my two step
verifications and I was like, is this the same guy?
Is this the attack guy? No, it was just very
harmless hacker. So everyone always puts digital personalities in one box,
(04:00):
and then traditional celebrities like a Tom Cruise in a
different box. You guys probably have I mean you definitely
do their statistics, have more fans than a lot of
these traditional celebrities. And also there's this other layer of people.
They have more access to you guys because a lot
of you, especially you, you're very real on there. You
let people into your real lives. So now all of
(04:20):
a sudden, if you do have a sick grandma, or
you have like a little brother or whatever it is,
they know their names, they know Yeah, they're very invested. Yeah,
and they know details that maybe you wouldn't know about,
you know, a Naomi Watts or something like that, who
chooses to put nothing out there. Do you have to
guard and shield certain elements of your life just to
protect your family? Absolutely. A lot of people ask me
(04:41):
because I kind of allude a lot to some of
the stuff that I write about with my childhood and
my parents and my relationship with my family, and people
really want details, like what happened to you. I'm open
about my mental illness and see PTSD and anxiety and
stuff like that, so people want to know, like, what
is your PTSD? From and it's like I can't share
that much. I would, but it's not just my story.
So people need to realize that people in my life
(05:02):
aren't just an extension of me. They are their own person,
and other people share that story with me. So I
can't tell my story without also exposing the personal lives
of my siblings and my family and my aunts and
my uncle's and that's not fair to them. And then
also if I'm dating somebody, I'm very very careful to
keep it under wraps because if something goes wrong, I
don't want them to get hate. I don't want to
(05:22):
have to deal with a breakup publicly, so very personal
things I keep to myself. But if it has to
do with me and me only, I'm pretty open about it. Yeah.
I noticed on your Instagram, and I think this is
a smart business move. It's a lot of you unless about,
oh I'm hanging out this person at this time and
here I am with whoever, And that's probably a part
of your safety measure and just like protecting the people
in your life because they didn't sign up for this, right. Yeah,
(05:44):
And a lot of them are cool with it, like
my friend Irene and my friend Taylor my very best friends.
I'll post as far as posting, like when I'm hanging
out with other YouTubers or celebrities, I never post that
because I don't want that to be oh, that's the
girl who is hanging out with that person, or I
like to keep my relationships authentic too. So when you're
hanging out with other influencers or YouTubers and then it
becomes a thing about posting about hanging out with each other,
(06:06):
that's when you start to lose sight of is this
person my friend or is this just a business transaction.
So I actually have a lot of really close friends
in the YouTube world because we understand each other in
a way that nobody else can. I'm just not posting
about it, so people think that I'm not hanging out
with these people, but I am. You see distinct groups
that always collaborate with each other and some people that
always do. As you said, you do have a lot
(06:27):
in common with the people that are doing the same
thing as you. But is it hard to say we're
just friends right now because we're collaborating and we're helping
each other grow or is this a real friendship? Has
there ever been a gray area for you where it's
been kind of tricky for sure, especially when you kind
of bring each other up or you kind of met
on that foundation. It is for me personally, I don't
know if it is for everybody. But then I've also
(06:48):
seen a lot of situations where I've heard one person
say like, oh, this is my best friend, and then
that person goes, no, we just work together. My mental
state isn't strong enough for that. With my feelings of
like connections and rejection and love and stuff. I just
need to But I'm sure other people can handle it,
just mine, and some people are okay with just hanging
out for business reasons. It's just whatever you can handle. Yeah,
(07:09):
it's crazy. And do you notice there's a clickiness in
the YouTube space. Yeah, because as you know, I've worked
on YouTube platforms. I don't know if you've heard of
Clever teav but like where I got my start, we're
working as a network, but we're not individuals trying to
get more followers and get more views. And you can
hear all these stories about you know, people that were
once friends and then this person got more followers and
(07:30):
then there was jealousy, and there's like all this random
stuff that happens. It seems like clicks are always shifting,
and yeah, I mean, I'll be the first to say that.
In the beginning, I definitely dealt with that too, because
it's so hard when say, like you're the person everyone's like,
oh my god, I want to be that person's friend,
and then they start to get bigger than you. Of
course you're going to feel some type of jealousy until
you learn how to check yourself and balance that, and
(07:52):
then of course you're happy for your friends, but then
there's like, oh, well, they got that brand deal over me,
or YouTube is recommending them over me now. And that's
why I like to keep it separate, because I found
myself getting jealous of people and resenting helping and just
it's an ugly place to be. And I was an
ugly person at that time. It's like four or five
years ago. But I see a lot of people now
(08:13):
not being able to check themselves and recognize themselves and
then trying to bury each other because of those things.
It honestly is so scary, And that's why I'm so
excited to get more into music and other projects because
YouTube causes me so much anxiety. Me too and I'm
not even a YouTube I go on YouTube and it's
my response to so and so, and I'm just, oh god, yeah,
I'm so stressed out. I think the thing that is
(08:35):
the worst about YouTube now and just the culture in general,
is I've never in my life saying so many people
celebrate the destruction downfall of people, whether you think somebody
did something awful or not. When I see people doing
live streams of people losing subscribers and making memes of
everybody's celebrating that people are losing subscribers, It's like, this
(08:56):
is somebody's life. This is somebody's career. Whether you're fifty
in thirty fifty, I don't know how whatever the rest
of your life, this is going to follow them. And
I don't think anybody deserves the amount of hate from
millions and millions and millions of people. And no matter
what you call it, it is bullying. Whether you think
that person deserves what they're getting or not, then sit
back and say, you know what this person deserves. To
(09:17):
lose their subscribers, fine, but to get online and make
videos putting their faces a thumbnail, putting memes next to them,
making full videos saying how they're a horrible person and
like laughing and showing their social blady. It's disgusting and
I just can't, like, I just can't get behind it.
And maybe that's just me, but I just wish that
the world was a little bit more compassionate for people,
even people that they believe deserve punishment. It makes me
(09:40):
sad because I remember when YouTube was first popping off
ten years ago. This was not a part of the
culture at all. It was very much about bringing each
other up exactly. It's all about collaborations, and YouTube just
felt like a happy space it was, and now it
kind of feels petty and juvenile and toxic in toxic
and it makes me really sad because I think the
focus has gone away from creating really good content. Two
(10:03):
years ago it became about stupid prank clickbait, and now
it's just gotten to a point where it's just mean
and bullying. Yeah, the content that gets shared is the
stuff that's making fun of people, Like whenever the whole
monster meme thing happened, where everybody was just making fun
of me because of a clip in one interview, which
was explained very like but there was a logical explanation
(10:24):
for exactly everything that happened. But regardless of whether or
not I hit the note, I didn't hit the note,
I can sing, I can't sing whatever. There were these
channels who are making videos who are like get a
hundred thousand views of video maybe, and they were making
these hate videos about me where they're saying I just
can't sing and then making up musical terms that don't exist.
And then those videos are getting three million views on
this channel that gets not that many views. So then
(10:47):
that gets shared over and over and over and everybody's
rallying in that. But then the same people once I
put out medicaid, we're making videos being like this song
is amazing, like I think she's an actual artist and
she really found her voice, and those have a hundred
thousand views. Again, so no, but he cares if somebody's
doing great. Nobody cares if somebody's succeeding or creating something beautiful.
They just want to join in on hating. And I
(11:08):
don't know where that came from. It's a toxic mentality,
but I think people like to see people who have
it all have a bad day, and I think people
thrive off of watching a train wreck. Yeah, it's it's
a weird thing. It's not even just watching a train
wreck at this point though, it's celebrating a train wreck.
That's what's so scary. It's really really scary. And those
people who are posting those videos are getting celebrated for it.
(11:30):
So what are they going to do? They're going to
continue to find things Exactly why do you think that happened?
Like it feels like a trend that's very new. I
think so too, And that's what I've been trying to
figure out because I don't know if it's just like
who I am as a person. I don't want to
see anybody upset, whether you fucked up really bad or not.
Like when James Charles, like even when everything looked the
worse for him, when I was like watching him be destroyed,
(11:51):
I was just like, Okay, if all of these allegations
are true, that's horrible and he needs to be punished,
and like you can remove your support, But why do
you have to make a million videos about it? Why
do you have to like try to rally the troops
to everybody attack this person. To me, I just don't
get it, Like where did it come from? I think
it's a lot of people who have time on their hands.
So happened? You know, that's that's a definite thing. Nobody's
(12:14):
ever really publicly aired their grievances the way that people
so freely air their grievances now, because before that it's like, oh,
I'm not friends with this person anymore. I'm just gonna
stop filming with them. People are going to ask questions
and that's my business. I'm going to answer it. But
now it's people coming out being like, these are everything
that I don't like about this person, and then people
have the opportunity to take a side, and then it's
a fun game because that is kind of human nature,
(12:35):
is just to find your wolf pack and the strongest survive,
and we naturally gravitate into clicks on platforms of sixteen
and a half million people James had. Now there's very public,
all right, what team are you on? It's so weird
the way that it went on from Tati being like
I need to get this off my chest to him
responding to other YouTubers taking sides. I genuinely felt bad
(12:57):
for him. I feel bad for everybody involved. So do
I because the thing is I loved Totti. I think
she's an amazing person. She's always been so kind to me.
When I went to her launch party for Halo Beauty,
she was giving her speech about her product, and she
stopped her speech to be like, and I just want
to talk about Gabby and her music, and I'm so
proud of her, Like, this is unreal. This is your moment,
this is your event, These people are here for you,
(13:19):
and you're talking about my music. So I love Totti
And I don't really have an opinion because I know
there's so much information that's not out and I know
there's so many feelings involved. Okay, James Charles in one
day lost a million subscribers, that is one six of
his audience. He lost in one day, and then he
put out a video and he gained a million subscribers back.
And to me, it's just like, how can you guys
(13:40):
flip flop your opinion so either that you're literally just
clicking I support he's canceled, just kidding, he's not. And
I'm like, guys, come on, at least have an opinion,
don't just follow what everybody's telling you to do, because
that's what it comes down to, is just this herd
mentality of I want to do what's cool and right now.
It's cool to hate James right now, it's cool to
hate Totti right now, it's cool to hate Jeffrey. And
it's just just support who you want and then be
(14:03):
quiet about it. In my opinion, does that scare you?
Because you've always been super authentic. You even recently changed
your name so you were the Gabby Show and now
you're just Gaby Hannah, which is who you are. Yes,
does that scare you now? Just looking back because I
know a couple of years ago, like when I was younger,
I might have said stupid ship or like text message
(14:23):
somebody stupid, and in the back of my head and
I have so many eyeballs on me, I might worry
is somebody gonna share a screenshot? Is somebody gonna you?
Worry about that sometimes because there's definitely plenty of drunk
college things that could come up or for everyone. By
the way, I'm not worried about anything like really serious
coming out because I don't think I've ever said or
(14:44):
done anything that I'd be like, if that comes out,
my career is over. But who knows. Yeah, I guess
when it comes it will come. But um, even if
something surface that I don't even know exists, I would
just be like, you know what, I was a very
different person and hope that people forgive me. I understand
that some people won't, but I also think there's something
very toxic and dangerous about pulling things up from years
(15:05):
and years and years ago and expecting that person to
still be that person, but also like demanding apologies for it.
But then even if they do apologize for it, saying, well,
you said it in so you still mean it. And
that happened with Shane Dawson, it happens with everything, happens
to happen with Kevin Hart, it happens with literally everybody,
and at the end of the day, we've all done
asshole ship. Yeah. I heard christ Liah say something. It
(15:28):
wasn't him, but he was quoting somebody else, and it
was you've already done the thing that's going to destroy you.
And I think about that all the time. It's like, well,
I can't change it. Worrying just means you suffered twice,
So I'm just gonna exactly. And I think you're in
a fortunate position that your fan base is pretty loyal
to you, and they have been from the beginning, would
you say, Yeah, a lot of them obviously, but of
course whenever it was cool and trendy to hate on me,
(15:50):
I also lost a lot of people, and I still
see a lot of ramifications from that, where like, if
I upload, I'll still lose subscribers as soon as I upload,
just because people are like, oh, I forgot it. I
subscribed to her and then subscribe because they just remember
seeing my face as a thumbnail of so many like
drama and hate videos. So now to them, I'm just
that person. So we've discussed James and you know, Tati,
But when you're on the receiving end of it, how
(16:12):
do you Because I'm a very sensitive person, like somebody
looks at me the wrong way, and I'm like, what
can I do to make them like me? I just
want to always. I just want positive vibes around me always.
How do you not allow thatt to just ruin your day,
your week, your month? How did you ruin my day,
my week, my month? I was it was the hardest.
I mean, I've been through different situations like this, but
that last one was the first time I've ever seen
(16:33):
subscriber loss and people for people who don't know what
we're talking about. The monster me. Yeah, But then it
became more from that. So it started with I did
an interview with genius and then they did some weird
cut with the audio, and then people made it into
a meme where you were singing, you have a song
that I actually really like, thank you. I still love
that song. I'll always love it's very much. It just
(16:55):
got memed over and over and over and went insanely viral,
which fine, I think there's funnier memes. Like there was
some that were like so genuinely hilarious, and then some
were just like, I'm like, how does this have this
many views on abused? But um, yeah, it was fine
and it was just a joke. But then once my
face became clickable, then it became people starting rumors and
(17:16):
pulling things up where I'm bullying my fans, I'm scamming
my fans. I am capitalizing on mental illness for my
own profit, and I don't actually care about depression. I
just talk about it for money. It is scam my young,
vulnerable fans. I'm just like, come on, guys, like you
guys loved me. In August in August, everybody who's rallying
behind me because I was the underdog who had the
number one song on iTunes and number two at the
same time. It was like massive, and then I got
(17:38):
a little bit too big, and then people wanted to
tear me down. So then your face is clickable, and
now it's just what story can I spend with her?
And I hear my name coming up in context that
I don't even belong in, but they know that if
they say my name, they can put it in a thumbnail.
You know, on one hand, I really am that bitch, huh,
But like like, on the other hand, come on, like
I'm a human and let me live. But it pushed me.
(17:59):
You know, there are YouTube or digital personalities who do
use certain things to get clout or followers, and like bait,
You're not one of those people. But there's a reason
why people probably made up in their heads that a
lot of this stuff was for you to gain sympathy
or whatever it is, because I'm sure there are people
who do that. Yeah, it wasn't even to gain sympathy.
(18:20):
They were saying that I was doing it just for money,
and people will say everyone's doing stuff for money. And
you don't seem like the type of person who's done that.
I've talked about my like mental illness stuff since the
beginning of my channel. Like people were saying that I
was just hopping on a trend, and I'm like, just search,
search my channel, That's all you have to do. And
then so then how do you get past a bad
(18:41):
day like that? So I was just thinking about James
Charles waking up to that video. When you wake up
and your phone's blowing up and people are saying to you,
this thing is going viral. It's about you. I would
have a panic attack. I mean I had many. How
do you how do you one survive that and to
go back to business as usual when something like that happens,
(19:01):
because I would be super it would be discouraging for me. Well,
it takes time, for sure. The thing that got me
through it was I most of my best friends are
outside of the Internet. So there are people who aren't
Internet people, and then they kind of ground me because
when you're so absorbed into the Internet, you think that's
the universe. This is what everybody in the universe thinks
(19:23):
about me. That's what the entire world thinks about me.
And then my twenty eight year old yoga and structor
friends are like, nobody cares. Like you're in a very community.
It's a bubble where in the real world, everyone in
your real life loves you. You have so many real
friends who know that you're an amazing friend and a
genuine person. Why do you care what these strangers on
the internet are saying? Which does help, but then it's
(19:45):
also frustrating cause I'm like, yeah, but this is also
my career, and my career is my reputation. So if
my reputation is that I'm a scammer or a bully
or all of these other things, Like the bullying one
was so insane because like, nah, because you kind of
seemed like the anti bully, the one that wants to
call out the bully, which is nuts because everybody in
(20:05):
my real life, they say, what the people on the
internet say about you is literally the antithesis of who
you are, Like you would never do any of these things,
but they're making you out to be this really manipulative
person when I don't know how to be manipulative, which
is probably a really manipulative thing to say, but I
don't know. Even the drama channels who were making videos
(20:26):
of me that like got to know me in person,
and then they even said, you are literally the opposite
of what people are making you out to be. And
I'm like, I know, but if you're somebody who doesn't
care to get to know me or actually watch my
content before you make that assumption anyway, you're probably not
going to be a massive fan in the first place.
So it's not really a loss. Yeah, and you probably
knew that getting into the space anyway, that this it
(20:46):
comes with it, right, it comes with the territory. Honestly,
I didn't expect this, especially YouTube always felt like such
a beautiful community to me, and now just kind of
it's a little toxic. You've said in the past that
you consider yourself an introvert. You're a lovely person of
great energy. I mean, you walked in and we hugged.
You're very cool verse, thank you. And I think a
lot of YouTubers are introverts. Yes, why do you think that.
(21:08):
I actually think a lot of YouTubers become introverts. Yeah,
well a lot of them start off that way because
I've always been shy. But it's when you start, first
of all exhausting so much energy for the public in
very short period of time. Like if you go on
a tour and you meet, you know, six d people
a day for a month straight, you stop wanting to
talk to people because that's what you do for a living.
(21:30):
But also you start getting a little paranoid. Like if
you're out in public and I'm at a bar and
I know that a lot of my audience is over
twenty one, so I know that there could be people watching, right,
and then just fearing judgment, and then just having been
attacked so many times, you start to feel more insecure
and you start kind of hiding within yourself. I've always
been shy, but I definitely got more shy and introverted
(21:53):
after the Internet. That's the thing about judging people online
two is you're just seeing these snippets of essentially a
character that you're putting off. Because at the end of
the day, if I sat and did full length YouTube
videos at my regular energy level, yeah, a lot of
a lot of people would like it, I'm sure, but
not the amount of people who are like, oh, this
is an interesting charismatic person, because once you get to
know me, it's fun to sit and watch me be
(22:14):
chill like That's what my Patreon is is me just
talking very normally to them like this. If you're trying
to get people to remember you, you can't just be
a chill person that takes us to the Gabby Show.
You've been the Gabby Show since the beginning of time.
I've been the Gabby Show since my sophomore year of college.
So you've been the Gabby Show and now the shows
over shows over. I changed it on my YouTube channel
(22:35):
when I started doing music and my book because I
wanted everything to be branded the same. But then I
really went in and changed my handles and stuff. It
was just because I didn't want to be associated with
the person on vine who is very just over the
top and a character and was saying things for shock
and I don't know, I just felt like I changed
so much as not only a creator, but as a person,
(22:56):
and that era of my life of just wanting so
desperately to get followers and I wanted people to see
me and I wanted to make money, and it just
that was a show. It wasn't who I am, And
maybe it was at the time, but now you're so young.
I mean, as a person, you're evolving naturally, and so
your career is going to evolve, and who you are
as a personality online should evolve with the person who
(23:20):
you are in real life, right, And that person just
had a lot of walls up and defenses and was
very aggressive and angry, and I'm just not anymore. And
I just wanted to kind of close that chapter and
be me as an artist. And I also want people
to recognize me when they go to my pages. I
was like, oh, Gabby Handed the artist, not the Gabby Show.
(23:41):
Isn't that girlfriend? Vine? And what would you say contributed
to that evolution for you? Because a lot of people
have a hard time evolving, so they'll stay in this
box that they may have been in five years ago.
You've done a really good job of growing and having
your fans grow with you. And now, as you said,
you're growing into an artist and nobody's really pissed about it.
But he's like, no, go back to being Gabby Show.
(24:01):
Like people are supporting the move. Yeah, thank god. Um.
I think it's honestly because of all of the really intense,
very public situations that I've been in that kind of
forced me to grow, you know, like you can't just
kind of barrel through life, being this egocentric, narcissistic person
who always gets their way. And it's like, sometimes I
(24:24):
feel as if the universe knows that I'm smart enough
to understand the messages it's giving me, so it gives
me extra messages. So if I get a little bit
too big, the universe knocks me down and says, no, no, no,
you're too smart for that, and then it gives me
these signs, and I just follow the signs of whenever
something big happens to change, like whenever the whole monster
thing happened, I knew that that was the universe giving
(24:46):
me a sign that I needed. I don't belong in
YouTube anymore. This isn't my platform, this isn't where I'm
supposed to be. And I was still doing really really
well and growing very quickly on YouTube. So the universe said, stop,
why aren't you writing music? And why aren't you writing
the music supposed to be writing. So there was this
big scandal where I can't sing and all this stuff,
and it forced me to write my best song yet
(25:06):
at the time, which was Medicaid, which was very like
respected and a lot of people in the community talked
about it as if like this, she's a real artist. Now.
That's when people said that, and that song would have
never happened if I wouldn't have been too hurt by
YouTube to even open the app. I couldn't even open
it because it was so painful. So I wrote. And
then after I put that out, I said, why the
(25:27):
funk am I not writing music? And then I wrote
a Holy PI and now Here we Are? I wrote
an entire ep? Did you do this all on your own?
Like the writing part, because a lot of people have
ghost writers. Obviously, No, I write my own music. I
can't um imagine singing somebody else's songs. I think some
people are singers, and I'm not the best singer, but
I'm a really good writer. I listened to a few
(25:49):
of your songs. You feel what you're saying, and you
know it's coming from Gabby, thank you, And I don't
think I could do that if they weren't mine. And
that translates, is this an industry that scares you a
bit us going into it? And how did you get
over that fear? Because you've you've done the YouTube thing,
You've dominated. I don't think you're gonna abandon. It doesn't
sound like you are, but it seems like music is
(26:10):
your calling in your path. Everyone who represents you, people
who make money off of your YouTube videos, how are
they real? Does? I don't have management everything myself? Yeah,
which is not that I love. It's hard what wait,
hold on, we need you have no reps? So this
is just Gabby wheeling and dealing. I am with CIA
(26:32):
and I have a manager who like lives in New York.
But it's sort of on a like like my MTV deal.
I knew I couldn't navigate that myself, but all of
my digital is me. That's amazing. You don't have to
go through a million approvals to put a video. Yeah,
and I need to. I need to for sure, Like
I need to get to that place because I'm at
point where I'm exhausted and I can't keep negotiating brand
(26:54):
deals on my own. Behalf. This's gonna sound awful, but
I need somebody to do my job better than I can,
and I just haven't found it yet. Yeah. I was
really good at my job. I don't think you'll have
a hard time finding people who want that job. It's
just a potter of who will be great. A lot
of times, just with social influencers, is they see it
as a dollar sign where they kind of want to
step in and they go, we know that she makes
(27:14):
a lot of money, and we're gonna come in and
we're gonna take a cut, and we're not going to
work for her. So I'm very upfront in the beginning
where I say, you're not getting get cut of my
own relationships, you're not going to get cut of my channel,
bring me brand deals, and you can get a massive
chunk of that, But if you didn't find it, if
you didn't negotiate it, if you didn't work for it,
I'm not just going to pay you out of everything
that I made because I've been building this platform in
my own for five years exactly. And a lot of
people right away are just like, well, I'm not cool
(27:36):
with that. I'm like, okay, well that never made sense
to me how people just want to swoop in once
the deal is already there. But it's like, but I
needed you to get the deal. It's a very new
platform because the difference between you know, mainstream celebrities and influencers,
for the most part, is mainstream celebrities got there because
other people got them there, and influencers got it themselves,
(27:57):
so there there hasn't been a way to navig it.
Yeah where it's okay, we're gonna work with these people,
but obviously we didn't get him here, so we don't
get the everything that makes sense. That wasn't a sentence.
I'm sorry, but I totally get what you're saying. A
lot of people want to swoop it once you're already
blown up and get a chunk of all the things,
but they don't make the connection that those things wouldn't
exist had the brand not been building for five years,
(28:20):
six years, however long you've been doing it. How do
you decide what brands you're in line with? Are you
super picky? With super super picky? I get a lot
of offers for like the Detox, He's the lollipops, anything
really that has to do with weight loss and health.
I try to steer away from unless it's something like
I love drinking Hint water, for example. It's just a
(28:41):
carbonated water that's naturally flavored. There's no calories, there's no preservatives,
there's no added things. So that's something that I'd be
comfortable promoting because it's something I drink regularly and it's
not going to harm you in any way. Detox tas, lollipops,
appetite suppressants, programs. I'm not really into anything like that.
You've always been somebody who promotes like being happy with
the body you've got and not trying to conform any
(29:04):
type of So I don't even think that's even in
even if it was like the most non harmful thing,
I don't even think that's in line, because I think
a lot of influencers would do something that they didn't know. Yeah, everywhere.
I mean, this is the reason the whole James Charles
problem occurred. That that is true. Yeah, that is very true.
In his defense on that he did do the sleeping vitamins, however,
(29:26):
like not the heritage skin of nails. However, I didn't
like that he was promoting sleeping vitamins for anxiety to children.
I didn't think that was cool. I don't find with vitamins.
There's really not anything that shows that vitamins are going
to hurt you. But melatonin I don't consider a vitamin.
I actually take melotonin sparingly, like if I really can't
(29:46):
relax and I really need to get to sleep. I'll
take melotonin, but I wouldn't promote it to my followers
as like an anxiety at night. So I've been taking
these gummies every night because that is dangerous because you
need to be really careful with meltonin because your body
can all her drastically, like your brain chemistry can alter
on Melotona and so interesting learning lots over here. You're like,
I really look into that stuff. I got to the
(30:08):
point and I take it sparingly where one gummy wasn't
doing anything for me anymore, and the person who recommended
them to be said, oh, well take two, and I
was like, well, that sounds like a dangerous slope. And
then it's like the bottles gone every night. Yeah, no,
that's definitely dangerous and yeah, and it goes back to
you having a responsibility because you do have young followers,
so you have to be really picking and choosy with
(30:29):
with the brands that you Yeah, I've turned out a lot.
That's what got me a lot when people were saying
that I promoted a scam product just for money and
I don't care about my followers, because it's like I
turned down so many brands and if I thought that
it was a scam or I thought that it wasn't
worthy of whatever I'm out you were spending on it.
I genuinely would not promote it. I don't know, I
(30:50):
just I genuinely give a fuck. So then I did
a video get Ready with me of doing my makeup
with all of the products I've said no to, and
then in and I've also brought in a waste trainer
that I wouldn't promote. I brought in all the tease
that I didn't promote. I brought in all the products
I thought it was. But I instantly lost fifteen subscribers
within an hour or so. Nobody liked it. Why because
(31:15):
I was then you know, now you're deflecting and you're
not acknowledging the problem, and you're not even sorry for
scamming your fans. But here's the thing. Also, so everybody
in my real life, like adults, were like, this is good,
post this, But then the Internet said, you're deflecting, you're
not taking responsibility. And then it became a meme because
I said, you know, manage your expectations, and then people
are just like, manage your expectations, O, my god, where
(31:38):
they like do the big little a big end the
SpongeBob met I can't obviously, because of the platform that
you've created for yourself. You have eyeballs when this EP releases,
So there's a lot of like beautiful benefits that have
come with Annoying Ship. There's way more beautiful benefits than
there aren't negative for sure. So you already have all
(32:01):
these people ready for your EP, excited for your EP.
What can they expect from your music? Is it going
to be Is it going to be the same type
of music you've released in the past. Is there some
evolution cultures evolution? I hope that there's always evolution in
my work, but I would say that this is more
so in the vein of Medicaid, where it's not as punk.
(32:23):
The first track is a little bit punk rocky. It's
kind of Marina and the Diamonds vibes, actually, I would say,
but it's kind of alternative pop. But it really tells
a full cohesive story. And I sent it to a
lot of my producer friends and writer friends and just
general friends, and they said, this is a body of work.
This tells a full story from beginning to end. And
then it's hard to do and I'm so proud of you,
(32:44):
and that is what I wanted to hear. Every song
is connected. Every single song tells the story. And then
I put interstitials of real voicemails of my X and
I crying to each other in between the tracks to
lead into so it's literally like, this is what happened,
This is what we were saying to each other, and
then I wrote this song. This is what happened, this
is what we said, and then I wrote this song.
I love this. It's hard to listen to a little bit. Actually,
(33:09):
it's weird though, because I'm like, I get numb to
it a little bit, because I'm like listening to my
ex say I'm sorry and I love you, and then
I'm listening to myself crying saying I'm so fucking exhausted.
And then to me, it's like, oh, I'm creating art.
And then once it's finished and you're done working on it,
and then you listen to it back as a full
body of work and the deadlines are over and everything,
(33:29):
it punches you in the mouth and you're just like,
oh my god, like that really happened, that really happened,
and my heart is broken. A spiral again Oh wow,
that sounds like worth the weight. Wait this is out
after the EP, right, because I want to tell so
okay this actually this will be this is a pre recording,
so by the time this launches EPs out, so dish it. Okay,
(33:53):
So what basically the story? And I literally just tell
the story and the track of perfect day. It's called
a true story, literally a perfect day, a true story
where I was seeing this guy and we're super head
over heels and love and then we had this perfect
day together. It could not be more perfect and we
were so connected and everything was beautiful. And then we
took a shower and then he gets out and then
(34:13):
I get out a minute later, and I see I
Love you written in the steam on the mirror, and
I thought he wrote it, and then I noticed it
was not his handwriting, was definitely a female's handwriting. And
then I said, did I write it? Because I thought,
you know how it steams up again and you see
the old writing that was there, Um, it was on
the edge of my Basically, I walked out and I said,
did you hook up with somebody else? And he said no,
(34:36):
And I said, who wrote I Love you on the mirror?
And then he said another girl, and I said when
and he said a couple of days ago. So it
was horrible and it was heartbreaking and Nicholas Sparks movie,
Let's be honest, So obviously I wrote it into a song,
and then I wrote the EP off of that heartbreak.
As I'm writing it, I'm you know. It's a song
that's literally telling the story of the moment that I
(34:56):
found him sleeping with somebody else. For months it was
just oh, this this song is so good, this music
video is so good. And then when it was finished,
I was like, oh my god, he slept with somebody else.
It was so hard. I can't believe that's how you
found out. And then the cover art two of the
e P is the heart You written in the steam?
Can you believe that that happened? It doesn't sound like
a real story. And people always say to me like, oh,
(35:19):
there's no way this stuff happens to you. I'm like,
everything happens to me in a really dramatic You find
something a text message esteemed I love you, esteemed shower.
So that's that's the cover of the EP. And that
again I became numb to that too, that I love
that no it's it's it's like that I love it,
(35:40):
but I forgot what it was for a minute, and
then when you look at it again and you remember,
you're like, oh, oh, how does the X feel about this? Um,
he's actually very very supportive of it. On board. He's
very on boarding. I mean he signed the release to
have his voice on it because his his voice and
mails are on it. But then we did have a
conversation recently where he finally like, how do you think
(36:00):
it I feel seeing your profile picture and I see that, which,
first of all, you did it, but that it also
hurt him, like he made him. We should tag like
I'm a part of this. We should tag the girl.
I don't know where. I don't know she has. I
didn't ask. I'm not the bitch to ask. I'm going
to find out. You are, You're going to find out.
I just don't want to know, because once you find out,
then you're just like working for her. No, No, you
(36:22):
don't want to find out. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know what she looks like. I
don't want to judge compare myself to her. I don't
want to think is she prettier than me to shave
a better body than you and she doesn't have a
better body. Well, I mean that right here. I don't
want anything like I don't even want to have the
opportunity to go creep on her page, you know what
I mean. I just don't want to know you. That's crazy. Though.
(36:42):
I love that you are using real life heartache and
for this album, and I think that really resonates with
people when they listen to music. So my eggs actually
brought something up recently where he was like, because we
um we actually met online through comments on Facebook, which
who then does that anymore? Weed for three months before
we met, and he'd been in love with me that
(37:03):
whole time. Essentially while we were joking about like music,
I said, I need more music. Do you want to
date and then break my heart real quick? So I
have something to write about. And he brought it up
recently and he's like, that's haunted me for seven months.
You were like, I wasn't serious, Like, please don't hey,
but when you win that Grammy, thank them all. I
(37:24):
cannot wait for handwriting girl, I'll thank you because I
would have found her by that. I somehow get an
interview with her I'm like, so tell me for the
girl who slept with my boyfriend. I I also guessed
the reason she did it was because he had my
card that I wrote him for Valentine's stay out still
while she was there, and she kept picking up and
(37:45):
reading it, and then I guess she got jealous, so
she wrote I love you on the mirror. She planned
this scandal moment like Gabby's going to take a shower
at some point. I don't think that she thought that
it would still show up. I think that it probably
faded before and we've all written in our showers before
it and it comes back. Well, I don't know if
she knew that we were still together. Well, I'm saving
(38:08):
this for interview with her question you see this thing
is I don't know what she thought, Like she might
have thought like, well, why is your ex is Valentine
still out? I don't know what she was told. Most importantly,
what was he thinking, like the biggest mistake of his life.
I don't think he cared to hide me from her.
I don't know. It's very confusing. Heard yea so weird,
(38:28):
but therapeutic. I'm assuming this album out, of course, a profitable,
profitable monetize your heartbreak baby. Yeah. Yeah, and when you
win that Grammy, thank them all. Is your YouTube going
to be reflective of your music moving forward? Are we
going to see a shift in the content that's on
your YouTube now that this EPs coming. I'm still probably
(38:48):
going to keep a lot of obviously music videos and
stuff go up, but I'm going to keep the same
type of loggy content because that's why people followed me
in the first place. But I do have my Patreon
for people who want exclusive music content because I found
that when I was posting it to my channels, a
lot of the comments were, Okay, I'm happy you're doing you,
but I didn't subscribe for this, and like, I'm turning
(39:09):
off your notifications because I don't care about this kind
of thing. So I have my like private membership where
the people who really want it can go and get it,
and then I love posting on their The community on
there is so nice because haters don't pay to hate,
that's the thing. So everybody there's really loving and supportive,
and I have like private chat rooms where they're all
talking about I think this lyric means this. I think
that this is going to be on the EP and
(39:30):
it's just cool and fun. That must be so rewarding
to you know that you're doing something right and getting
all this support from your true fans. I could literally
talk to you for the next two hours. Unfortunately we can't,
but you're gonna have to come back. I'd love to
you know, when you win the Grammy, don't forget us.
I would never I have your number. I always got
to remember you as the person you said I would
(39:51):
win a Grammy. You're going to literally mark my words.
Somebody keep this clip in the future, somebody in the room.
When I want a Grammy, I'm going to say thank
you to my heart and Tatiana. Oh and when I'm
in the front row with the Grammy, I'll come up
and I'll be like, so we thank you guys. It's
really because of me. I'll take all the cred deserve it.
(40:11):
But yeah. So in closing, one piece of advice that
you would give Gabby ten years ago, make your tragedy
as a work of art. Baby, Just keep embracing that
pain because it's going to be really helpful later. I
think it's I think you're doing that right now. That's
what it's working. But I just wish she knew a
little bit sooner. I think that's everybody though, But yeah,
(40:31):
that's that's a really good piece of advice. And I
guess I'll just ask one because I love advice. Piece
of advice for somebody who wants to follow in your footsteps. Oh,
just really, just do you, you know, and be authentic,
which is such a corny thing to say, but it's
honestly so true. When you look at the people who
really make a mark on society or art or culture,
it's the people who are truly authentically themselves. And whether
(40:54):
you make it big or you don't, you can be
really proud of the stuff that you've created and you're
going to touch somebody and just worry about that. Don't
worry about the fame of the money. If if it's
meant to be, that will happen. But if that's your focus,
you'll never get there. Love it, Love it. Write a
book next. I have one. Oh it's my coltry book
(41:14):
Adult Lessons, available now in Barnes and Noble Target. I
gotta go to Barnes. I would have brought you one, Okay, well,
but yeah, make sure you come back every time, you know,
release a book, write a movie. Absolutely like you're doing
big things. I'm excited to know you. You're so sweet.
They can find the EP. It's called two A Mirror
(41:36):
and it's everywhere. It's on every streaming platform, and the
music videos will be on my YouTube channel and just
you'll find it. And we're gonna be playing it on
my heart right, yes, NonStop. Right, I rake the whole system.
I take credit for everything. All right, guys, we will
see you next time. Thank you so much for listening.
We hope you guys had fun. Ye see you. Behind
(41:59):
the influence of the production of I Heart Radio and
TDC Media
Welcome to Behind the Influence, a production of I Heart
Radio and TDC Media. There was this big scandal where
I can't sing and all this stuff, and it forced
me to write my best song yet. Congratulations to Gabby Hannah.
He ended up hitting number one and two at the
top of US iTunes music. It doesn't sound like a
real story. People always say to me, like, oh, there's
(00:21):
no way this stuff happens to I thought it was,
but I instantly lost fifteen thousand subscribers within an hour
or so. Nobody liked. Really, I wonder why the term influencer.
You clearly that I do too, and so I created
a show called The Influence. So you you are considered
(00:43):
an influencer. How do you feel being put in that?
I mean, obviously you have so many talents. I guess
to me, the word just sounds kind of weird, But
it just comes down to semantics and whatever. If you
want to call me that, that's fine. But when you
put it into perspective of what it actually means is
somebody who influence, it's as people. It's kind of scary
because I never looked at myself as somebody who's like
(01:03):
I'm going to influence the youth of our generation, and
that is terrifying, because I'm not that persons should be
Probably well, I mean, you have six point five a
million subscribers if not more, on YouTube, and then you
have almost four million followers. I did have four million
at one point, and then Instagram did their sweep and
then I was a meme and then I lost the
(01:23):
bunch and then it still so six point five million
subscribers on YouTube, almost four million on Instagram. You have influence,
So it's a huge responsibility. You have a lot of
people checking up on you every day. Some people are
die hard fans. Some people, as we were discussing right
before the interview, are probably just looking to see when
they can just swoop in and cause some problems. Yeah. Sometimes,
(01:47):
but also if there's somebody who cares enough about me
to follow me because they hate me and they want
to see if I'm going to say or do something dumb,
then I mean there's still a fan. Actually, you probably
have way more than six point five million subscribers, because
you know, people watched the videos and just don't subscribe. Yeah.
I actually thought about that the other day because I
was trying to think about how many people in the
world don't know me yet, because obviously it's a massive
(02:08):
number of people who don't know me. But then I
was like, well, six point five, probably only about one
time percent of people who have seen me subscribe. So
that's scary too to think about how many people have
seen you in passing. And that's not even including like
uploaded content that Facebook pages have taken my compilations and
put them, and those have a hundred million views. And
that's just people that have no idea who I. It's
crazy to think about. Yeah, and scary, weird and gross.
(02:33):
So on the topic of scary you of all these
people with their eyeballs on you, have you ever had
a situation that is actually been scary with a fan? Yeah?
I actually currently have a stalker, which I guess I
shouldn't say too much about because Ascerbaby, I didn't mean
to show up. I can't believe you started this whole podcast.
(02:55):
This is unreal. I've never been in a situation. No,
I actually have been in a situation where I felt
really actually scared and I had to get um a
security guard to follow me around while I was in
New York. It was the first time I was in
New York for MTV, and there was somebody, can we
swear on here? What's the I think we can? Let
me get some clear because he was saying some really
vulgar stuff, saying like, next time you're in New York,
(03:15):
you better beef up your security because you will be
dead next time I see you, and then talking about
like burying up my dead grandma and like fucking her skull,
and like like killing and raping my baby sister. Like
it was dark, and this was right after the Vegas shootings,
and I was like, oh my god, I'm gonna be
in Times Square and this guy is telling many to
beef up my security and he's gonna kill me and
he's clearly very angry. So that was really scary. Like
(03:37):
walking around in New York that weekend, I had my
eyes peeled. And then my phone got hacked that same weekend,
like drastically hacked, like they stole my phone number, put
their SIM card on their phone, so I lost my
phone number. So they were getting all my two step
verifications and I was like, is this the same guy?
Is this the attack guy? No, it was just very
harmless hacker. So everyone always puts digital personalities in one box,
(04:00):
and then traditional celebrities like a Tom Cruise in a
different box. You guys probably have I mean you definitely
do their statistics, have more fans than a lot of
these traditional celebrities. And also there's this other layer of people.
They have more access to you guys because a lot
of you, especially you, you're very real on there. You
let people into your real lives. So now all of
(04:20):
a sudden, if you do have a sick grandma, or
you have like a little brother or whatever it is,
they know their names, they know Yeah, they're very invested. Yeah,
and they know details that maybe you wouldn't know about,
you know, a Naomi Watts or something like that, who
chooses to put nothing out there. Do you have to
guard and shield certain elements of your life just to
protect your family? Absolutely. A lot of people ask me
(04:41):
because I kind of allude a lot to some of
the stuff that I write about with my childhood and
my parents and my relationship with my family, and people
really want details, like what happened to you. I'm open
about my mental illness and see PTSD and anxiety and
stuff like that, so people want to know, like, what
is your PTSD? From and it's like I can't share
that much. I would, but it's not just my story.
So people need to realize that people in my life
(05:02):
aren't just an extension of me. They are their own person,
and other people share that story with me. So I
can't tell my story without also exposing the personal lives
of my siblings and my family and my aunts and
my uncle's and that's not fair to them. And then
also if I'm dating somebody, I'm very very careful to
keep it under wraps because if something goes wrong, I
don't want them to get hate. I don't want to
(05:22):
have to deal with a breakup publicly, so very personal
things I keep to myself. But if it has to
do with me and me only, I'm pretty open about it. Yeah.
I noticed on your Instagram, and I think this is
a smart business move. It's a lot of you unless about,
oh I'm hanging out this person at this time and
here I am with whoever, And that's probably a part
of your safety measure and just like protecting the people
in your life because they didn't sign up for this, right. Yeah,
(05:44):
And a lot of them are cool with it, like
my friend Irene and my friend Taylor my very best friends.
I'll post as far as posting, like when I'm hanging
out with other YouTubers or celebrities, I never post that
because I don't want that to be oh, that's the
girl who is hanging out with that person, or I
like to keep my relationships authentic too. So when you're
hanging out with other influencers or YouTubers and then it
becomes a thing about posting about hanging out with each other,
(06:06):
that's when you start to lose sight of is this
person my friend or is this just a business transaction.
So I actually have a lot of really close friends
in the YouTube world because we understand each other in
a way that nobody else can. I'm just not posting
about it, so people think that I'm not hanging out
with these people, but I am. You see distinct groups
that always collaborate with each other and some people that
always do. As you said, you do have a lot
(06:27):
in common with the people that are doing the same
thing as you. But is it hard to say we're
just friends right now because we're collaborating and we're helping
each other grow or is this a real friendship? Has
there ever been a gray area for you where it's
been kind of tricky for sure, especially when you kind
of bring each other up or you kind of met
on that foundation. It is for me personally, I don't
know if it is for everybody. But then I've also
(06:48):
seen a lot of situations where I've heard one person
say like, oh, this is my best friend, and then
that person goes, no, we just work together. My mental
state isn't strong enough for that. With my feelings of
like connections and rejection and love and stuff. I just
need to But I'm sure other people can handle it,
just mine, and some people are okay with just hanging
out for business reasons. It's just whatever you can handle. Yeah,
(07:09):
it's crazy. And do you notice there's a clickiness in
the YouTube space. Yeah, because as you know, I've worked
on YouTube platforms. I don't know if you've heard of
Clever teav but like where I got my start, we're
working as a network, but we're not individuals trying to
get more followers and get more views. And you can
hear all these stories about you know, people that were
once friends and then this person got more followers and
(07:30):
then there was jealousy, and there's like all this random
stuff that happens. It seems like clicks are always shifting,
and yeah, I mean, I'll be the first to say that.
In the beginning, I definitely dealt with that too, because
it's so hard when say, like you're the person everyone's like,
oh my god, I want to be that person's friend,
and then they start to get bigger than you. Of
course you're going to feel some type of jealousy until
you learn how to check yourself and balance that, and
(07:52):
then of course you're happy for your friends, but then
there's like, oh, well, they got that brand deal over me,
or YouTube is recommending them over me now. And that's
why I like to keep it separate, because I found
myself getting jealous of people and resenting helping and just
it's an ugly place to be. And I was an
ugly person at that time. It's like four or five
years ago. But I see a lot of people now
(08:13):
not being able to check themselves and recognize themselves and
then trying to bury each other because of those things.
It honestly is so scary, And that's why I'm so
excited to get more into music and other projects because
YouTube causes me so much anxiety. Me too and I'm
not even a YouTube I go on YouTube and it's
my response to so and so, and I'm just, oh god, yeah,
I'm so stressed out. I think the thing that is
(08:35):
the worst about YouTube now and just the culture in general,
is I've never in my life saying so many people
celebrate the destruction downfall of people, whether you think somebody
did something awful or not. When I see people doing
live streams of people losing subscribers and making memes of
everybody's celebrating that people are losing subscribers, It's like, this
(08:56):
is somebody's life. This is somebody's career. Whether you're fifty
in thirty fifty, I don't know how whatever the rest
of your life, this is going to follow them. And
I don't think anybody deserves the amount of hate from
millions and millions and millions of people. And no matter
what you call it, it is bullying. Whether you think
that person deserves what they're getting or not, then sit
back and say, you know what this person deserves. To
(09:17):
lose their subscribers, fine, but to get online and make
videos putting their faces a thumbnail, putting memes next to them,
making full videos saying how they're a horrible person and
like laughing and showing their social blady. It's disgusting and
I just can't, like, I just can't get behind it.
And maybe that's just me, but I just wish that
the world was a little bit more compassionate for people,
even people that they believe deserve punishment. It makes me
(09:40):
sad because I remember when YouTube was first popping off
ten years ago. This was not a part of the
culture at all. It was very much about bringing each
other up exactly. It's all about collaborations, and YouTube just
felt like a happy space it was, and now it
kind of feels petty and juvenile and toxic in toxic
and it makes me really sad because I think the
focus has gone away from creating really good content. Two
(10:03):
years ago it became about stupid prank clickbait, and now
it's just gotten to a point where it's just mean
and bullying. Yeah, the content that gets shared is the
stuff that's making fun of people, Like whenever the whole
monster meme thing happened, where everybody was just making fun
of me because of a clip in one interview, which
was explained very like but there was a logical explanation
(10:24):
for exactly everything that happened. But regardless of whether or
not I hit the note, I didn't hit the note,
I can sing, I can't sing whatever. There were these
channels who are making videos who are like get a
hundred thousand views of video maybe, and they were making
these hate videos about me where they're saying I just
can't sing and then making up musical terms that don't exist.
And then those videos are getting three million views on
this channel that gets not that many views. So then
(10:47):
that gets shared over and over and over and everybody's
rallying in that. But then the same people once I
put out medicaid, we're making videos being like this song
is amazing, like I think she's an actual artist and
she really found her voice, and those have a hundred
thousand views. Again, so no, but he cares if somebody's
doing great. Nobody cares if somebody's succeeding or creating something beautiful.
They just want to join in on hating. And I
(11:08):
don't know where that came from. It's a toxic mentality,
but I think people like to see people who have
it all have a bad day, and I think people
thrive off of watching a train wreck. Yeah, it's it's
a weird thing. It's not even just watching a train
wreck at this point though, it's celebrating a train wreck.
That's what's so scary. It's really really scary. And those
people who are posting those videos are getting celebrated for it.
(11:30):
So what are they going to do? They're going to
continue to find things Exactly why do you think that happened?
Like it feels like a trend that's very new. I
think so too, And that's what I've been trying to
figure out because I don't know if it's just like
who I am as a person. I don't want to
see anybody upset, whether you fucked up really bad or not.
Like when James Charles, like even when everything looked the
worse for him, when I was like watching him be destroyed,
(11:51):
I was just like, Okay, if all of these allegations
are true, that's horrible and he needs to be punished,
and like you can remove your support, But why do
you have to make a million videos about it? Why
do you have to like try to rally the troops
to everybody attack this person. To me, I just don't
get it, Like where did it come from? I think
it's a lot of people who have time on their hands.
So happened? You know, that's that's a definite thing. Nobody's
(12:14):
ever really publicly aired their grievances the way that people
so freely air their grievances now, because before that it's like, oh,
I'm not friends with this person anymore. I'm just gonna
stop filming with them. People are going to ask questions
and that's my business. I'm going to answer it. But
now it's people coming out being like, these are everything
that I don't like about this person, and then people
have the opportunity to take a side, and then it's
a fun game because that is kind of human nature,
(12:35):
is just to find your wolf pack and the strongest survive,
and we naturally gravitate into clicks on platforms of sixteen
and a half million people James had. Now there's very public,
all right, what team are you on? It's so weird
the way that it went on from Tati being like
I need to get this off my chest to him
responding to other YouTubers taking sides. I genuinely felt bad
(12:57):
for him. I feel bad for everybody involved. So do
I because the thing is I loved Totti. I think
she's an amazing person. She's always been so kind to me.
When I went to her launch party for Halo Beauty,
she was giving her speech about her product, and she
stopped her speech to be like, and I just want
to talk about Gabby and her music, and I'm so
proud of her, Like, this is unreal. This is your moment,
this is your event, These people are here for you,
(13:19):
and you're talking about my music. So I love Totti
And I don't really have an opinion because I know
there's so much information that's not out and I know
there's so many feelings involved. Okay, James Charles in one
day lost a million subscribers, that is one six of
his audience. He lost in one day, and then he
put out a video and he gained a million subscribers back.
And to me, it's just like, how can you guys
(13:40):
flip flop your opinion so either that you're literally just
clicking I support he's canceled, just kidding, he's not. And
I'm like, guys, come on, at least have an opinion,
don't just follow what everybody's telling you to do, because
that's what it comes down to, is just this herd
mentality of I want to do what's cool and right now.
It's cool to hate James right now, it's cool to
hate Totti right now, it's cool to hate Jeffrey. And
it's just just support who you want and then be
(14:03):
quiet about it. In my opinion, does that scare you?
Because you've always been super authentic. You even recently changed
your name so you were the Gabby Show and now
you're just Gaby Hannah, which is who you are. Yes,
does that scare you now? Just looking back because I
know a couple of years ago, like when I was younger,
I might have said stupid ship or like text message
(14:23):
somebody stupid, and in the back of my head and
I have so many eyeballs on me, I might worry
is somebody gonna share a screenshot? Is somebody gonna you?
Worry about that sometimes because there's definitely plenty of drunk
college things that could come up or for everyone. By
the way, I'm not worried about anything like really serious
coming out because I don't think I've ever said or
(14:44):
done anything that I'd be like, if that comes out,
my career is over. But who knows. Yeah, I guess
when it comes it will come. But um, even if
something surface that I don't even know exists, I would
just be like, you know what, I was a very
different person and hope that people forgive me. I understand
that some people won't, but I also think there's something
very toxic and dangerous about pulling things up from years
(15:05):
and years and years ago and expecting that person to
still be that person, but also like demanding apologies for it.
But then even if they do apologize for it, saying, well,
you said it in so you still mean it. And
that happened with Shane Dawson, it happens with everything, happens
to happen with Kevin Hart, it happens with literally everybody,
and at the end of the day, we've all done
asshole ship. Yeah. I heard christ Liah say something. It
(15:28):
wasn't him, but he was quoting somebody else, and it
was you've already done the thing that's going to destroy you.
And I think about that all the time. It's like, well,
I can't change it. Worrying just means you suffered twice,
So I'm just gonna exactly. And I think you're in
a fortunate position that your fan base is pretty loyal
to you, and they have been from the beginning, would
you say, Yeah, a lot of them obviously, but of
course whenever it was cool and trendy to hate on me,
(15:50):
I also lost a lot of people, and I still
see a lot of ramifications from that, where like, if
I upload, I'll still lose subscribers as soon as I upload,
just because people are like, oh, I forgot it. I
subscribed to her and then subscribe because they just remember
seeing my face as a thumbnail of so many like
drama and hate videos. So now to them, I'm just
that person. So we've discussed James and you know, Tati,
But when you're on the receiving end of it, how
(16:12):
do you Because I'm a very sensitive person, like somebody
looks at me the wrong way, and I'm like, what
can I do to make them like me? I just
want to always. I just want positive vibes around me always.
How do you not allow thatt to just ruin your day,
your week, your month? How did you ruin my day,
my week, my month? I was it was the hardest.
I mean, I've been through different situations like this, but
that last one was the first time I've ever seen
(16:33):
subscriber loss and people for people who don't know what
we're talking about. The monster me. Yeah, But then it
became more from that. So it started with I did
an interview with genius and then they did some weird
cut with the audio, and then people made it into
a meme where you were singing, you have a song
that I actually really like, thank you. I still love
that song. I'll always love it's very much. It just
(16:55):
got memed over and over and over and went insanely viral,
which fine, I think there's funnier memes. Like there was
some that were like so genuinely hilarious, and then some
were just like, I'm like, how does this have this
many views on abused? But um, yeah, it was fine
and it was just a joke. But then once my
face became clickable, then it became people starting rumors and
(17:16):
pulling things up where I'm bullying my fans, I'm scamming
my fans. I am capitalizing on mental illness for my
own profit, and I don't actually care about depression. I
just talk about it for money. It is scam my young,
vulnerable fans. I'm just like, come on, guys, like you
guys loved me. In August in August, everybody who's rallying
behind me because I was the underdog who had the
number one song on iTunes and number two at the
same time. It was like massive, and then I got
(17:38):
a little bit too big, and then people wanted to
tear me down. So then your face is clickable, and
now it's just what story can I spend with her?
And I hear my name coming up in context that
I don't even belong in, but they know that if
they say my name, they can put it in a thumbnail.
You know, on one hand, I really am that bitch, huh,
But like like, on the other hand, come on, like
I'm a human and let me live. But it pushed me.
(17:59):
You know, there are YouTube or digital personalities who do
use certain things to get clout or followers, and like bait,
You're not one of those people. But there's a reason
why people probably made up in their heads that a
lot of this stuff was for you to gain sympathy
or whatever it is, because I'm sure there are people
who do that. Yeah, it wasn't even to gain sympathy.
(18:20):
They were saying that I was doing it just for money,
and people will say everyone's doing stuff for money. And
you don't seem like the type of person who's done that.
I've talked about my like mental illness stuff since the
beginning of my channel. Like people were saying that I
was just hopping on a trend, and I'm like, just search,
search my channel, That's all you have to do. And
then so then how do you get past a bad
(18:41):
day like that? So I was just thinking about James
Charles waking up to that video. When you wake up
and your phone's blowing up and people are saying to you,
this thing is going viral. It's about you. I would
have a panic attack. I mean I had many. How
do you how do you one survive that and to
go back to business as usual when something like that happens,
(19:01):
because I would be super it would be discouraging for me. Well,
it takes time, for sure. The thing that got me
through it was I most of my best friends are
outside of the Internet. So there are people who aren't
Internet people, and then they kind of ground me because
when you're so absorbed into the Internet, you think that's
the universe. This is what everybody in the universe thinks
(19:23):
about me. That's what the entire world thinks about me.
And then my twenty eight year old yoga and structor
friends are like, nobody cares. Like you're in a very community.
It's a bubble where in the real world, everyone in
your real life loves you. You have so many real
friends who know that you're an amazing friend and a
genuine person. Why do you care what these strangers on
the internet are saying? Which does help, but then it's
(19:45):
also frustrating cause I'm like, yeah, but this is also
my career, and my career is my reputation. So if
my reputation is that I'm a scammer or a bully
or all of these other things, Like the bullying one
was so insane because like, nah, because you kind of
seemed like the anti bully, the one that wants to
call out the bully, which is nuts because everybody in
(20:05):
my real life, they say, what the people on the
internet say about you is literally the antithesis of who
you are, Like you would never do any of these things,
but they're making you out to be this really manipulative
person when I don't know how to be manipulative, which
is probably a really manipulative thing to say, but I
don't know. Even the drama channels who were making videos
(20:26):
of me that like got to know me in person,
and then they even said, you are literally the opposite
of what people are making you out to be. And
I'm like, I know, but if you're somebody who doesn't
care to get to know me or actually watch my
content before you make that assumption anyway, you're probably not
going to be a massive fan in the first place.
So it's not really a loss. Yeah, and you probably
knew that getting into the space anyway, that this it
(20:46):
comes with it, right, it comes with the territory. Honestly,
I didn't expect this, especially YouTube always felt like such
a beautiful community to me, and now just kind of
it's a little toxic. You've said in the past that
you consider yourself an introvert. You're a lovely person of
great energy. I mean, you walked in and we hugged.
You're very cool verse, thank you. And I think a
lot of YouTubers are introverts. Yes, why do you think that.
(21:08):
I actually think a lot of YouTubers become introverts. Yeah,
well a lot of them start off that way because
I've always been shy. But it's when you start, first
of all exhausting so much energy for the public in
very short period of time. Like if you go on
a tour and you meet, you know, six d people
a day for a month straight, you stop wanting to
talk to people because that's what you do for a living.
(21:30):
But also you start getting a little paranoid. Like if
you're out in public and I'm at a bar and
I know that a lot of my audience is over
twenty one, so I know that there could be people watching, right,
and then just fearing judgment, and then just having been
attacked so many times, you start to feel more insecure
and you start kind of hiding within yourself. I've always
been shy, but I definitely got more shy and introverted
(21:53):
after the Internet. That's the thing about judging people online
two is you're just seeing these snippets of essentially a
character that you're putting off. Because at the end of
the day, if I sat and did full length YouTube
videos at my regular energy level, yeah, a lot of
a lot of people would like it, I'm sure, but
not the amount of people who are like, oh, this
is an interesting charismatic person, because once you get to
know me, it's fun to sit and watch me be
(22:14):
chill like That's what my Patreon is is me just
talking very normally to them like this. If you're trying
to get people to remember you, you can't just be
a chill person that takes us to the Gabby Show.
You've been the Gabby Show since the beginning of time.
I've been the Gabby Show since my sophomore year of college.
So you've been the Gabby Show and now the shows
over shows over. I changed it on my YouTube channel
(22:35):
when I started doing music and my book because I
wanted everything to be branded the same. But then I
really went in and changed my handles and stuff. It
was just because I didn't want to be associated with
the person on vine who is very just over the
top and a character and was saying things for shock
and I don't know, I just felt like I changed
so much as not only a creator, but as a person,
(22:56):
and that era of my life of just wanting so
desperately to get followers and I wanted people to see
me and I wanted to make money, and it just
that was a show. It wasn't who I am, And
maybe it was at the time, but now you're so young.
I mean, as a person, you're evolving naturally, and so
your career is going to evolve, and who you are
as a personality online should evolve with the person who
(23:20):
you are in real life, right, And that person just
had a lot of walls up and defenses and was
very aggressive and angry, and I'm just not anymore. And
I just wanted to kind of close that chapter and
be me as an artist. And I also want people
to recognize me when they go to my pages. I
was like, oh, Gabby Handed the artist, not the Gabby Show.
(23:41):
Isn't that girlfriend? Vine? And what would you say contributed
to that evolution for you? Because a lot of people
have a hard time evolving, so they'll stay in this
box that they may have been in five years ago.
You've done a really good job of growing and having
your fans grow with you. And now, as you said,
you're growing into an artist and nobody's really pissed about it.
But he's like, no, go back to being Gabby Show.
(24:01):
Like people are supporting the move. Yeah, thank god. Um.
I think it's honestly because of all of the really intense,
very public situations that I've been in that kind of
forced me to grow, you know, like you can't just
kind of barrel through life, being this egocentric, narcissistic person
who always gets their way. And it's like, sometimes I
(24:24):
feel as if the universe knows that I'm smart enough
to understand the messages it's giving me, so it gives
me extra messages. So if I get a little bit
too big, the universe knocks me down and says, no, no, no,
you're too smart for that, and then it gives me
these signs, and I just follow the signs of whenever
something big happens to change, like whenever the whole monster
thing happened, I knew that that was the universe giving
(24:46):
me a sign that I needed. I don't belong in
YouTube anymore. This isn't my platform, this isn't where I'm
supposed to be. And I was still doing really really
well and growing very quickly on YouTube. So the universe said, stop,
why aren't you writing music? And why aren't you writing
the music supposed to be writing. So there was this
big scandal where I can't sing and all this stuff,
and it forced me to write my best song yet
(25:06):
at the time, which was Medicaid, which was very like
respected and a lot of people in the community talked
about it as if like this, she's a real artist. Now.
That's when people said that, and that song would have
never happened if I wouldn't have been too hurt by
YouTube to even open the app. I couldn't even open
it because it was so painful. So I wrote. And
then after I put that out, I said, why the
(25:27):
funk am I not writing music? And then I wrote
a Holy PI and now Here we Are? I wrote
an entire ep? Did you do this all on your own?
Like the writing part, because a lot of people have
ghost writers. Obviously, No, I write my own music. I
can't um imagine singing somebody else's songs. I think some
people are singers, and I'm not the best singer, but
I'm a really good writer. I listened to a few
(25:49):
of your songs. You feel what you're saying, and you
know it's coming from Gabby, thank you, And I don't
think I could do that if they weren't mine. And
that translates, is this an industry that scares you a
bit us going into it? And how did you get
over that fear? Because you've you've done the YouTube thing,
You've dominated. I don't think you're gonna abandon. It doesn't
sound like you are, but it seems like music is
(26:10):
your calling in your path. Everyone who represents you, people
who make money off of your YouTube videos, how are
they real? Does? I don't have management everything myself? Yeah,
which is not that I love. It's hard what wait,
hold on, we need you have no reps? So this
is just Gabby wheeling and dealing. I am with CIA
(26:32):
and I have a manager who like lives in New York.
But it's sort of on a like like my MTV deal.
I knew I couldn't navigate that myself, but all of
my digital is me. That's amazing. You don't have to
go through a million approvals to put a video. Yeah,
and I need to. I need to for sure, Like
I need to get to that place because I'm at
point where I'm exhausted and I can't keep negotiating brand
(26:54):
deals on my own. Behalf. This's gonna sound awful, but
I need somebody to do my job better than I can,
and I just haven't found it yet. Yeah. I was
really good at my job. I don't think you'll have
a hard time finding people who want that job. It's
just a potter of who will be great. A lot
of times, just with social influencers, is they see it
as a dollar sign where they kind of want to
step in and they go, we know that she makes
(27:14):
a lot of money, and we're gonna come in and
we're gonna take a cut, and we're not going to
work for her. So I'm very upfront in the beginning
where I say, you're not getting get cut of my
own relationships, you're not going to get cut of my channel,
bring me brand deals, and you can get a massive
chunk of that, But if you didn't find it, if
you didn't negotiate it, if you didn't work for it,
I'm not just going to pay you out of everything
that I made because I've been building this platform in
my own for five years exactly. And a lot of
people right away are just like, well, I'm not cool
(27:36):
with that. I'm like, okay, well that never made sense
to me how people just want to swoop in once
the deal is already there. But it's like, but I
needed you to get the deal. It's a very new
platform because the difference between you know, mainstream celebrities and influencers,
for the most part, is mainstream celebrities got there because
other people got them there, and influencers got it themselves,
(27:57):
so there there hasn't been a way to navig it.
Yeah where it's okay, we're gonna work with these people,
but obviously we didn't get him here, so we don't
get the everything that makes sense. That wasn't a sentence.
I'm sorry, but I totally get what you're saying. A
lot of people want to swoop it once you're already
blown up and get a chunk of all the things,
but they don't make the connection that those things wouldn't
exist had the brand not been building for five years,
(28:20):
six years, however long you've been doing it. How do
you decide what brands you're in line with? Are you
super picky? With super super picky? I get a lot
of offers for like the Detox, He's the lollipops, anything
really that has to do with weight loss and health.
I try to steer away from unless it's something like
I love drinking Hint water, for example. It's just a
(28:41):
carbonated water that's naturally flavored. There's no calories, there's no preservatives,
there's no added things. So that's something that I'd be
comfortable promoting because it's something I drink regularly and it's
not going to harm you in any way. Detox tas, lollipops,
appetite suppressants, programs. I'm not really into anything like that.
You've always been somebody who promotes like being happy with
the body you've got and not trying to conform any
(29:04):
type of So I don't even think that's even in
even if it was like the most non harmful thing,
I don't even think that's in line, because I think
a lot of influencers would do something that they didn't know. Yeah, everywhere.
I mean, this is the reason the whole James Charles
problem occurred. That that is true. Yeah, that is very true.
In his defense on that he did do the sleeping vitamins, however,
(29:26):
like not the heritage skin of nails. However, I didn't
like that he was promoting sleeping vitamins for anxiety to children.
I didn't think that was cool. I don't find with vitamins.
There's really not anything that shows that vitamins are going
to hurt you. But melatonin I don't consider a vitamin.
I actually take melotonin sparingly, like if I really can't
(29:46):
relax and I really need to get to sleep. I'll
take melotonin, but I wouldn't promote it to my followers
as like an anxiety at night. So I've been taking
these gummies every night because that is dangerous because you
need to be really careful with meltonin because your body
can all her drastically, like your brain chemistry can alter
on Melotona and so interesting learning lots over here. You're like,
I really look into that stuff. I got to the
(30:08):
point and I take it sparingly where one gummy wasn't
doing anything for me anymore, and the person who recommended
them to be said, oh, well take two, and I
was like, well, that sounds like a dangerous slope. And
then it's like the bottles gone every night. Yeah, no,
that's definitely dangerous and yeah, and it goes back to
you having a responsibility because you do have young followers,
so you have to be really picking and choosy with
(30:29):
with the brands that you Yeah, I've turned out a lot.
That's what got me a lot when people were saying
that I promoted a scam product just for money and
I don't care about my followers, because it's like I
turned down so many brands and if I thought that
it was a scam or I thought that it wasn't
worthy of whatever I'm out you were spending on it.
I genuinely would not promote it. I don't know, I
(30:50):
just I genuinely give a fuck. So then I did
a video get Ready with me of doing my makeup
with all of the products I've said no to, and
then in and I've also brought in a waste trainer
that I wouldn't promote. I brought in all the tease
that I didn't promote. I brought in all the products
I thought it was. But I instantly lost fifteen subscribers
within an hour or so. Nobody liked it. Why because
(31:15):
I was then you know, now you're deflecting and you're
not acknowledging the problem, and you're not even sorry for
scamming your fans. But here's the thing. Also, so everybody
in my real life, like adults, were like, this is good,
post this, But then the Internet said, you're deflecting, you're
not taking responsibility. And then it became a meme because
I said, you know, manage your expectations, and then people
are just like, manage your expectations, O, my god, where
(31:38):
they like do the big little a big end the
SpongeBob met I can't obviously, because of the platform that
you've created for yourself. You have eyeballs when this EP releases,
So there's a lot of like beautiful benefits that have
come with Annoying Ship. There's way more beautiful benefits than
there aren't negative for sure. So you already have all
(32:01):
these people ready for your EP, excited for your EP.
What can they expect from your music? Is it going
to be Is it going to be the same type
of music you've released in the past. Is there some
evolution cultures evolution? I hope that there's always evolution in
my work, but I would say that this is more
so in the vein of Medicaid, where it's not as punk.
(32:23):
The first track is a little bit punk rocky. It's
kind of Marina and the Diamonds vibes, actually, I would say,
but it's kind of alternative pop. But it really tells
a full cohesive story. And I sent it to a
lot of my producer friends and writer friends and just
general friends, and they said, this is a body of work.
This tells a full story from beginning to end. And
then it's hard to do and I'm so proud of you,
(32:44):
and that is what I wanted to hear. Every song
is connected. Every single song tells the story. And then
I put interstitials of real voicemails of my X and
I crying to each other in between the tracks to
lead into so it's literally like, this is what happened,
This is what we were saying to each other, and
then I wrote this song. This is what happened, this
is what we said, and then I wrote this song.
I love this. It's hard to listen to a little bit. Actually,
(33:09):
it's weird though, because I'm like, I get numb to
it a little bit, because I'm like listening to my
ex say I'm sorry and I love you, and then
I'm listening to myself crying saying I'm so fucking exhausted.
And then to me, it's like, oh, I'm creating art.
And then once it's finished and you're done working on it,
and then you listen to it back as a full
body of work and the deadlines are over and everything,
(33:29):
it punches you in the mouth and you're just like,
oh my god, like that really happened, that really happened,
and my heart is broken. A spiral again Oh wow,
that sounds like worth the weight. Wait this is out
after the EP, right, because I want to tell so
okay this actually this will be this is a pre recording,
so by the time this launches EPs out, so dish it. Okay,
(33:53):
So what basically the story? And I literally just tell
the story and the track of perfect day. It's called
a true story, literally a perfect day, a true story
where I was seeing this guy and we're super head
over heels and love and then we had this perfect
day together. It could not be more perfect and we
were so connected and everything was beautiful. And then we
took a shower and then he gets out and then
(34:13):
I get out a minute later, and I see I
Love you written in the steam on the mirror, and
I thought he wrote it, and then I noticed it
was not his handwriting, was definitely a female's handwriting. And
then I said, did I write it? Because I thought,
you know how it steams up again and you see
the old writing that was there, Um, it was on
the edge of my Basically, I walked out and I said,
did you hook up with somebody else? And he said no,
(34:36):
And I said, who wrote I Love you on the mirror?
And then he said another girl, and I said when
and he said a couple of days ago. So it
was horrible and it was heartbreaking and Nicholas Sparks movie,
Let's be honest, So obviously I wrote it into a song,
and then I wrote the EP off of that heartbreak.
As I'm writing it, I'm you know. It's a song
that's literally telling the story of the moment that I
(34:56):
found him sleeping with somebody else. For months it was
just oh, this this song is so good, this music
video is so good. And then when it was finished,
I was like, oh my god, he slept with somebody else.
It was so hard. I can't believe that's how you
found out. And then the cover art two of the
e P is the heart You written in the steam?
Can you believe that that happened? It doesn't sound like
a real story. And people always say to me like, oh,
(35:19):
there's no way this stuff happens to you. I'm like,
everything happens to me in a really dramatic You find
something a text message esteemed I love you, esteemed shower.
So that's that's the cover of the EP. And that
again I became numb to that too, that I love
that no it's it's it's like that I love it,
(35:40):
but I forgot what it was for a minute, and
then when you look at it again and you remember,
you're like, oh, oh, how does the X feel about this? Um,
he's actually very very supportive of it. On board. He's
very on boarding. I mean he signed the release to
have his voice on it because his his voice and
mails are on it. But then we did have a
conversation recently where he finally like, how do you think
(36:00):
it I feel seeing your profile picture and I see that, which,
first of all, you did it, but that it also
hurt him, like he made him. We should tag like
I'm a part of this. We should tag the girl.
I don't know where. I don't know she has. I
didn't ask. I'm not the bitch to ask. I'm going
to find out. You are, You're going to find out.
I just don't want to know, because once you find out,
then you're just like working for her. No, No, you
(36:22):
don't want to find out. I don't want to know.
I don't want to know what she looks like. I
don't want to judge compare myself to her. I don't
want to think is she prettier than me to shave
a better body than you and she doesn't have a
better body. Well, I mean that right here. I don't
want anything like I don't even want to have the
opportunity to go creep on her page, you know what
I mean. I just don't want to know you. That's crazy. Though.
(36:42):
I love that you are using real life heartache and
for this album, and I think that really resonates with
people when they listen to music. So my eggs actually
brought something up recently where he was like, because we
um we actually met online through comments on Facebook, which
who then does that anymore? Weed for three months before
we met, and he'd been in love with me that
(37:03):
whole time. Essentially while we were joking about like music,
I said, I need more music. Do you want to
date and then break my heart real quick? So I
have something to write about. And he brought it up
recently and he's like, that's haunted me for seven months.
You were like, I wasn't serious, Like, please don't hey,
but when you win that Grammy, thank them all. I
(37:24):
cannot wait for handwriting girl, I'll thank you because I
would have found her by that. I somehow get an
interview with her I'm like, so tell me for the
girl who slept with my boyfriend. I I also guessed
the reason she did it was because he had my
card that I wrote him for Valentine's stay out still
while she was there, and she kept picking up and
(37:45):
reading it, and then I guess she got jealous, so
she wrote I love you on the mirror. She planned
this scandal moment like Gabby's going to take a shower
at some point. I don't think that she thought that
it would still show up. I think that it probably
faded before and we've all written in our showers before
it and it comes back. Well, I don't know if
she knew that we were still together. Well, I'm saving
(38:08):
this for interview with her question you see this thing
is I don't know what she thought, Like she might
have thought like, well, why is your ex is Valentine
still out? I don't know what she was told. Most importantly,
what was he thinking, like the biggest mistake of his life.
I don't think he cared to hide me from her.
I don't know. It's very confusing. Heard yea so weird,
(38:28):
but therapeutic. I'm assuming this album out, of course, a profitable,
profitable monetize your heartbreak baby. Yeah. Yeah, and when you
win that Grammy, thank them all. Is your YouTube going
to be reflective of your music moving forward? Are we
going to see a shift in the content that's on
your YouTube now that this EPs coming. I'm still probably
(38:48):
going to keep a lot of obviously music videos and
stuff go up, but I'm going to keep the same
type of loggy content because that's why people followed me
in the first place. But I do have my Patreon
for people who want exclusive music content because I found
that when I was posting it to my channels, a
lot of the comments were, Okay, I'm happy you're doing you,
but I didn't subscribe for this, and like, I'm turning
(39:09):
off your notifications because I don't care about this kind
of thing. So I have my like private membership where
the people who really want it can go and get it,
and then I love posting on their The community on
there is so nice because haters don't pay to hate,
that's the thing. So everybody there's really loving and supportive,
and I have like private chat rooms where they're all
talking about I think this lyric means this. I think
that this is going to be on the EP and
(39:30):
it's just cool and fun. That must be so rewarding
to you know that you're doing something right and getting
all this support from your true fans. I could literally
talk to you for the next two hours. Unfortunately we can't,
but you're gonna have to come back. I'd love to
you know, when you win the Grammy, don't forget us.
I would never I have your number. I always got
to remember you as the person you said I would
(39:51):
win a Grammy. You're going to literally mark my words.
Somebody keep this clip in the future, somebody in the room.
When I want a Grammy, I'm going to say thank
you to my heart and Tatiana. Oh and when I'm
in the front row with the Grammy, I'll come up
and I'll be like, so we thank you guys. It's
really because of me. I'll take all the cred deserve it.
(40:11):
But yeah. So in closing, one piece of advice that
you would give Gabby ten years ago, make your tragedy
as a work of art. Baby, Just keep embracing that
pain because it's going to be really helpful later. I
think it's I think you're doing that right now. That's
what it's working. But I just wish she knew a
little bit sooner. I think that's everybody though, But yeah,
(40:31):
that's that's a really good piece of advice. And I
guess I'll just ask one because I love advice. Piece
of advice for somebody who wants to follow in your footsteps. Oh,
just really, just do you, you know, and be authentic,
which is such a corny thing to say, but it's
honestly so true. When you look at the people who
really make a mark on society or art or culture,
it's the people who are truly authentically themselves. And whether
(40:54):
you make it big or you don't, you can be
really proud of the stuff that you've created and you're
going to touch somebody and just worry about that. Don't
worry about the fame of the money. If if it's
meant to be, that will happen. But if that's your focus,
you'll never get there. Love it, Love it. Write a
book next. I have one. Oh it's my coltry book
(41:14):
Adult Lessons, available now in Barnes and Noble Target. I
gotta go to Barnes. I would have brought you one, Okay, well,
but yeah, make sure you come back every time, you know,
release a book, write a movie. Absolutely like you're doing
big things. I'm excited to know you. You're so sweet.
They can find the EP. It's called two A Mirror
(41:36):
and it's everywhere. It's on every streaming platform, and the
music videos will be on my YouTube channel and just
you'll find it. And we're gonna be playing it on
my heart right, yes, NonStop. Right, I rake the whole system.
I take credit for everything. All right, guys, we will
see you next time. Thank you so much for listening.
We hope you guys had fun. Ye see you. Behind
(41:59):
the influence of the production of I Heart Radio and
TDC Media
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