August 12, 2025 • 36 mins
In today's episode, Sarah and Laura discuss maintaining adult friendships, and then Sarah delves into her recent 'friends trip' -- the planning, the execution, and the fun!
In the Q&A, Sarah and Laura provide strategies for fitting in work over vacation or while traveling.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
and speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
and course creator. We are two working parents who love
our careers and our families.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
From figuring out childcare to mapping out long.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Term career goals.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
This episode is airing in early to mid August of
twenty twenty five. We are going to be talking about
friend retreats, slash girl getaways, whatever you want to call them,
getting together for a couple of days with friends. How
to make it happen, of course, why you might make
it happen. Although just sounds naturally like a ton of
fun to me, but through the lens of Sarah just
recently had a pretty fun getaway, so we wanted to
(01:06):
dissect that a little bit and then share some best
practices from how she has managed to have close to
annual get togethers with her friends for decades now, which
I think is really.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Cool, So, Sarah, I mean, maybe you could give us
a little.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Rundown of your friend portfolio currently how this group of
girls fits into that?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Sure, I mean, this group of girls is one of
my sort of far flung friend groups. I guess I
do feel like I have a mix of friends who
are local to the area and then people from other
phases of life or other parts of life that don't
live anywhere near the state. So I guess starting with
local friends, most of them I've gotten to know either
through the kids, like other parents, through work, through running.
(01:50):
I really actually the void of having friends that I
saw like regularly every couple times a week, really in
the morning. I do miss that I don't have like
a sub for that right now. And then also book club,
although I'm still friends with my running club ladies. And
then there's kind of like the kind of farther flong friends.
I have a really close friend who lives in Miami Beach,
(02:11):
which is not far, but it's now far enough that
we have to think about it when we want to
get together, whereas we used to be super local. And
then I have my college friends, and this is the
group that we'll be talking about because this is a
group that's managed to do very consistent get togethers. I
don't know about annual, they've been annual the past few years.
I don't know about for two decades, but they've been consistent.
(02:33):
And that is a group of six friends that I
met at Williams my first year. One of them is
my roommate Azusa, who is a delightful human being. And
then the others were actually in the entry, which is
sort of like the building right next to us, and
we became friends freshman year and into sophomore year, lived
together senior year, and have remained close ever since. And
(02:54):
then I also have this category of like blog friends,
and Laura, I would put you in that just because
that's how we initially got together. And now there are
some others who I text regularly or people who started
off as blog friends, but now I've actually met them
in real life and they just feel like regular long
distance friendships. So I really do feel like that sphere
of my life has given back to me in the
(03:15):
front department quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
What about you, Yeah, now that's definitely true, So yeah,
I would I would put the same categories like I
have the few local friends that are available for sort
of regular get together as we often do some sort
of exercise together, run with people, or walk with people,
or sometimes if the weather is bad, we might do
coffee or local brewery like to get together at. And
(03:37):
then a few more far flung friends that I see
a couple times a year, people I guess, like you
who you see on occasion. We don't live in the
same area, but we can still get together when that works.
There's a few people I've gotten to know through my
husband's work, reasonably well acquaintances through the kids friends, things
(03:58):
like that. Kind of jealous of your friend group concept,
like this idea of a distinct group of people where
everyone knows each other, because I feel like a lot
of my friends I'm close with.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Individual people, but those people.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Do not all know each other, and I understand that
there's challenges with that as well, but it's just a
sort of different flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I guess. Yeah, Well, it's interesting to see.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Because I mean, my daughter actually has a friend group
that is a very distinct group of people, Like this
is the group, and they get together regularly all the time,
and there's the friendships within that, and I just find
it interesting. So I don't know, there's just different ways
of interacting with people.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, I guess my college friends. And then also my
run club feels like a very cohesive group. I will
say the text chain kind of helps solidify a group, like.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Who's on the text chain and who's exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You're on it or you're not. You have your like
little writer club, Yeah, I have a couple of one
that is true for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
And then in terms of how to keep in touch
with people who are not in your locale, I feel
like there are three separate ways that it can be
consistently done. The text chain is number one, and also
just individual texting. Walk and talks have been a kind
of recent addition to my portfolio, but I've done them
more and more. I tend to do them with specific
people who just like to do it. But that's a
nice way to get kind of deep with someone even
(05:23):
every few months, and kind of keep up with what's
going on in their lives. And then, of course the
in person visits are very, very exciting, and I'm always
amazed at how natural they feel. Like you haven't seen
someone for a year, and of course you've been intermittently texting,
but you wonder like is it still going to feel
like easy and normal when we're together and with my
(05:44):
college friends, It's like, yes, immediately we're twenty again, and
I don't know, like we can all be real with
each other. We obviously have a lot to catch each
other up on because we don't keep up with like
the everyday details of our lives, but it feels very
natural and fun and even easy.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I would say, Yeah, Well, we're going to spend a
lot of this episode talking about a recent getaway that
Sarah did with her friends. Can you just give the
basic what that was?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yes, So they actually came here this time to Fort
Lauderdale Beach area, and we spent about a Wednesday to
a Saturday together.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay, but it's not always in Florida, correct.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
No, So should I go through our location? Well, I
guess we'll get to that.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
But I'm just saying, like, the idea is that you
get together somewhere, but it's not like you have a
set weekend every year that's a set place.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Correct. The weekend varies and the place varies.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, All right, Well let's start by talking about the logistics.
So how do you guys decide where and when to
get together, So.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
We start with a when, because that is the toughest part.
We are six busy people. You are correct. You mentioned
later in our notes that not everybody have kids. Of
the six of us have kids, so three of us
have kids. I have the oldest children, so I'm the
only one with a teen, and then we've got a
bunch of like toddlers and five year olds and things
like that. But everyone lives in different places, and everyone
(07:10):
works pretty much full time, so that means finding actual
agreed upon time is difficult. And so what we start
with is a shared Google sheet and it has the
months the year listed in everyone's name, and then you
just code the month red, yellow, or green. If it's
a great month for you and you think, oh yeah,
October's looking really open, you make it green. If you're like,
(07:32):
absolutely no way. I always make May red because I'm
just like no. And then once we have it down
to the month or a couple months, because we look
to see where everybody is either yellow or green, then
we can actually list this weekend, this weekend, this weekend,
this weekend, and at that point people usually have even
more granular I can do it or I can't do it,
and then finally we will decide on the date. Ideally
(07:55):
this is done, I mean almost a year in advance.
I am absolutely leading the charge here. I don't know
that everyone else would be that excited about planning so
far ahead. But we do have a nurse who gets
her schedule way in advance. We have two people who
are in the science and medical world who do like
international speaking gigs that get booked like nine months out.
(08:16):
This is a busy group, so it actually does make
sense to solidify these dates on the earlier side. Plus
I need to make sure that I'm not on call,
so usually by at least by like January February, we're
figuring out the dates for a given year.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
And it sounds like you may be somewhat spearheading this.
Would you characterize it that way?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I haven't been the one that makes the Google sheet.
I feel like that is my friend Nicole. But I'm
usually the one to nag everyone and be like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay, so that's the first thing we need in order
to have your girls get away.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You need a Sarah in your group, right.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You need somebody who is into planning and it is
into organizing people and is willing to kind of stick
with it.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And I think that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
All of those are challenges that might arise as other
people are trying to plan multi people get away.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
We'll get to other challenges that might arise too as well.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
But then let's say you've decided, so you decide date first,
and you guys decided first.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Okay, So often we'll have date before we have location,
by a matter of months, like, okay, we should be
better about location, as I'll get to in a second,
because lodging can be tough with our particular group of people.
But yeah, usually dates are far beyond any other detail
just because we can't agree.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, but once you have the date, then it moves
to location. And is there a general policy here? I mean,
because you're all over the country, do you try to
go to one person's place or do you try to
meet in the middle?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
What's the thought process here?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
There's no particular policy except we try to share the wealth.
We have two West Coasters, we have two Bostonians a
main and then me, I think we're missing someone there.
But you get my basic idea. We're kind of spread out,
so we wouldn't like go to California every year because
obviously that would be hard for the Boston people and
easy for the California people. We kind of move it around.
(10:07):
Plus moving around is good for variety. And then usually
other than this year, if we pick a summer destination,
we try not to make it a really hot and
disgusting one because a couple of the members of the
group don't prefer that, but they took one for the team.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Ok, year, and as all right, Well, we're to take
a quick ad break and then we'll be back with
more on the logistics of planning a friend getaway. Well,
we are back talking friend getaways, girls' weekends, that kind
(10:43):
of thing. Looking at this through the lens of Sarah's
recent gathering with her six friends from Williams or six
total people from Williams that they've been getting together over
the decades fairly frequently, so we've learned that she decides
a date many many months agehead of time. Lodging location
comes later. You guys have done both airbnbs and hotel
(11:06):
type situations.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
We have done mostly hotels. We've actually done some interesting
kind of hybrid places. There's this sort of like apartment
like hotel we did in Denver that was kind of interesting,
Like no front desk. It was almost like everyone got
their own mini apartment. We are open to airbnbs, and
in fact, for next year we're considering renting a house
in addition to using one of the actual members of
(11:30):
the group's kind of shorehouse. So yeah, it can vary.
We're pretty open when it comes to lodging.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Okay, but this year you wound up at the b
Ocean Resort. I hear this year what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
End up at the b Ocean Resort, which Laura has
been to twice because it was the scene of Besley
Plans Live for the past two years, not this upcoming
year actually, but it fit the constraine of we do
have to respect people's budgets, and people in this group
have different budgets a little bit, but we just make
sure that everyone is comfortable with what we select in
terms of the niceness and the costs and everything like that.
(12:04):
And this year be Ocean fit the bill really nicely.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
And do you spend a lot of time thinking about
the itinerary? I mean, is this like a planned week
in Europe where you're going to one thing after another
or is it more of a chill and relaxed sort
of thing.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It is more of a chill and relax sort of thing. Now,
being the person who was closest, I felt a little
bit of pressure to kind of help out and figure
out what we were going to do. And I'll give
you guys a rundown. But we do try to keep
it to just sort of like one chill anchor thing
per day, because the idea is not for us to
be touring some city and seeing a million different landmarks,
but to be doing things that are fun but really
(12:38):
just getting to spend time together, a lot of long
lingering brunches and dinners.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, we'll talk us through.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
What did you guys do when you were I mean,
other than see the Mermaid show at be Ocean?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
We did not did not see the March Sarah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Now, I'm just disappointed the Mermaids.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
We were thinking about it, but the Mermaids are only
on until nine on Thursday and Friday, and we were
out later than that, so we were just too much fun.
We missed the Mermaids and we did not purchase tickets
to the official burlesque Mermaid show that they have at
the b Ocean. We're giving them a lot of free
advertising today. But yeah, for girls get away that could
have been really, really fun. Honestly, just the idea of
(13:15):
the Mermaids made us happy, so that was good enough,
all right. So basically everyone flew in on Wednesday, and
I actually drove over from my house and met them
at the hotel just to hang out with them for
a bit, and then we went and met up for dinner,
and Josh actually came because the kids were at camp
and I didn't want to entirely leave him out. We
did some girls only dinners, but we figured, hey, but
(13:36):
the kids away, what's wrong with him coming? And they
were all excited to see him. They know him pretty
well by now at this point. And we had dinner
at Yacht which is a place Josh and I have
been to a lot. It was nice because I felt
like we were close enough in Fort Lauderdale that I
had enough since it wasn't that long of it. I
was like, I have a good number of restaurants enough
to fill this time. So that was the first one
(13:57):
we did. On Thursday, everybody kind of relaxed in the morning,
they got breakfast. Another girl actually came in a little
bit later on Thursday, so everyone I think hung out,
had breakfast and I had to go to a family funeral,
so it was actually very lucky that this is a
local event. I did not want to miss Josh's great
ants one hundred and fourth. She turned one hundred and
(14:17):
four and then she passed away. Anyway, lovely woman, Marilyn.
Nice to say goodbye to her, and then I went
back to join my friends because that's what life is
all about. And we met at the spa and I
got a massage and some of them got facial some
of them got massages. We had a great time, went
to the hotel to chill a little bit, and then
went out to dinner at a pizza place. That's where
(14:38):
I thought we'd made it back to the Mermaids, but
again we were having way too much fun. Interestingly, we
found that at most places servers were really happy to
see us and like just they'd ask like, oh, is
anyone local? And I'm like me and then they're like, oh,
where's everyone else from? And when they realized it was
six forty some women that got together, they were super happy,
so that like kind of added a festive air. We
(14:58):
had a great dinner, hung out at the hotel bar
afterwards for a little bit even though we missed the Mermaids.
On Friday, we slept in a little bit and then
went out to brunch, and then I decided we would
spend the day in boc Ratonon just because there's a
mall there that I really like, and there's a Japanese gardens.
And it wasn't because one of the members of our
party happened to be Japanese, but I don't know that
(15:19):
made it even more appropriate. So we hung out of
the gardens, went shopping, went to a lot of fun stores.
I bought a pair of sandals, which I will say,
I'd love to buy some item when we take these trips,
even if it's just like a little cosmetic item, because
then I get to see it and I think, oh,
I bought that with my friends, and I will think
that every time I wear these Nordstrum sandals. And basically
(15:41):
we shopped until we dropped, headed back to the hotel
after the and then went out to a grand finale dinner.
And I actually took everyone out to dinner that night,
in part because I hadn't had to fly and everybody
else had to fly here, and also because we tend
to do little gifts and I just figured, you know what,
in lieu of a physical gift, let me just make
this a gift that everyone will enjoy. So we went
to Toto in Fort Lauderdale Beach, which is a little
(16:03):
bit fancier. Our server was actually not very great at
that restaurant, but the food is excellent, so I don't know,
I had to get throw them a little shade because
they deserved it, but the food is really good. And
then that night we had our own impromptu adventure because afterwards,
three of us went to go back to the room
and the power was out in the tower where we
were staying, so the hotel was totally dark. We went
(16:26):
to the front desk and they said, oh, we're gonna
move you. We don't know when the power is gonna
be back on, but you're gonna have to go in
there and get your stuff. And it was like, oh
my gosh, pitch black, hotel, silent, no power. Thankfully, safety
and numbers. So the three of us actually went to
one room at a time, we used our flashlight phones,
and then as soon as we had packed the first
person up, the lights came back on, but again kind
of added to the memorableness well, you.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Could actually get into your hotel. There aren't the doors electronic.
How does that even work?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I don't know why it worked. I think it might
be like we asked them and they're like, yeah, it's
gonna work, and it did work. They were right, So yeah,
fun fact about the power outage. They also had some
master key that they said would have worked if not,
but they thought it would work. We all slept in again,
which was luxurious. On Saturday, Laura, you will not believe this,
(17:11):
but I actually went in the ocean.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yes, it was very exciting. Sarah tend's not to go
in the ocean.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It was peer pressure and I think I was in
there for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
And then I can't get you in. I can't get
you in. Apparently my peer pressure isn't strong enough.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Well, the other thing is it happened to be like
a cloudless sky and like the calmest I was like,
if I can't get in under these conditions, like I'm
never going in. I was like fine, but then one
person was like, oh, there's fish touching my feet and
they're like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Out by guys.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
How dare the ocean have marine life in it?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
So I was like, I'll be at the pool, but
I did go in and then we checked out. I
didn't really have any activities planned for that day, but
we all decided to get nail appointments near my house
since I knew where to go. We stopped at a
brunch place on the way that I knew about, and
then we landed at our house, where we played Nintendo,
like a really old Nintendo from the eighties that our
(18:04):
neighbor had given us, and we had Super Mario Brothers, which,
like many of us, have embedded and seered into our memories,
and we sat around and played video games that hung
out with the kids. It was very fun because obviously
I had talked about the kids to them so much,
but some of them hadn't really met the kids since
they were little, so that part was really really fun.
And then we actually cooked dinner, so well, we half
cooked dinner. We did We made our own drinks, We
(18:27):
made old Cubans, and we made some piccadillo, and then
we ordered some additional Cuban takeout to like go with
that because we wanted to give them some kind of
a South Florida flavor. Had a great dinner. They ended
up ubering back to the hotel after and that kind
of concluded the weekend. They flew out the next morning,
so I would definitely call it a success. There was
a little bit of hosting pressure on me, but they
(18:48):
didn't make me feel pressured at all. They're like, it
was very much like I'd be like, let's do this. Okay,
sounds great like because I think everyone just didn't care.
We just wanted to hang out and the terms weren't
that important. Way another, which was wonderful, and I do
feel like I really caught up on everyone. I got
some nice one on one conversations, but we had group
conversations as well, lots of joking, fun nineties and early
(19:11):
aughts music. It was great.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I love it. I love it. Yeah. Well, I mean,
did you manage to get your next one booked?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean I love the idea of, like the hair selon,
you make your next appointment while you're at this one.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Did you get your next weekend booked while you were there?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
We did not get to a specific date because I
think especially my two like international speakers, that they're like,
I need to consult the conferences and stuff. But we
did kind of decide that we're most likely I think.
I mentioned like one of them has a beach house
in Massachusetts, so we're going to try to combine her
house within nearby house a little bit off peak season,
(19:47):
so September October, so we've certainly narrowed it down. And
that's always a season when I love to travel because
I love to get out of Florida in the non
fall that we have. So even though we don't have
the exact dates, I feel like that's pretty good in
terms of solidified since it's only August of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and your kids were actually at camp during this
for at least half of it.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yes, So of course one thing that always comes to
mind is like, oh, I feel guilty leaving the kids.
I will say I didn't get a lot of guilt
vibes from the two parents who attended, which is awesome.
I mean, that's the way it should be. Both of
them have involved partners, and both of them have partners
who travel as well, so I think both of them
were like, yeah, like sometimes you go away and sometimes
I go away, and it's doable and it's great for everyone.
(20:31):
So that was awesome on my end. I didn't even like,
I couldn't have felt guilt if I wanted to, because
my kids were at camp.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
For most of this.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
They got back Friday night, our nanny picked them up,
so she took care of them, and then when Josh
got home, she left, and then so Josh really had
like half a day of solo parenting. So yeah, not
a huge ask, although he yeah, he did great in
terms of like helping cook dinner for everyone and just
being kind of part of the festivities without being in
(20:58):
all of it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Now, do you think you would do something like this
if you didn't have a specific group of people, Like
could you see yourself trying to organize like a group
of your local friends to go to I don't know,
Vancouver together or something like that.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yes, yes, okay, I mean I think they'd be more
likely for it to be centered around some kind of
event or excuse, Like well, when you and I do
our little recording retreats, like we're trying to get a
bunch of recording done, we're also trying to have fun.
If like my friend was running a race, we might
like go to spectator or something like that. And I actually,
I mean this is very indulgent, but I have another
girl's weekend coming up this year. In my defense, I
(21:36):
took zero last year and these two opportunities just sort
of presented themselves. So I'm going away again. This time
I'm traveling and meeting two friends in the middle of October.
So I guess my answer to that is yes, I'm
kind of always up for this kind of a thing.
And there are bright spots in my life little getaways
(21:57):
with Josh, trips with the kids, and then also solo traveling.
I love all three of those things.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Awesome. Sounds good.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well, we're going to take one more quick ad break
and then we'll be talking a little bit more about
logistics of girls getaways, et cetera, and our Q and
A and all that.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Well, we are back talking friend getaways.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Sarah recently had a great one in Fort Lauderdale, which
was on a getaway for her, but she has traveled
to with the same group of people various places. So
I have a few questions about this that we can
sort of help people who are thinking like this sounds great.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I'm not sure if I could ever make it happen.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Do people occasionally miss like what do you do if
you realize in a year that like, you're just not
going to get two of these people to come.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Well, I missed last year. I missed not in a
planned way, but we had something going on where it
was like, you know what, can't go, Sorry, ladies, and
it was sad, but they had a great time without me.
So so far we've always been able to find a
date where all six people can go. But I kind
of am glad there's a precedent of like somebody missing
because it wasn't the end of the world, and like
(23:12):
the group went on and it showed that just because
someone misses one year doesn't make the next year any
less worthwhile. I could imagine that. Interestingly, I mentioned that,
like the other two have young kids and they were
perfectly time with COVID, so we didn't meet up in
like twenty twenty or twenty twenty one, And that was
also when Vicki and Azusa had kids, so that was
(23:32):
like convenient for them not to even feel pressure to
travel when they were still breastfeeding or anything like that. Yeah,
I mean I could imagine a situation where we would
plan a smaller group and we have like kind of
floated the idea of maybe doing just a kid get
away at some point or things like that, but I
think we would at least give it the old college,
try to make all of us be able to make it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
And is this the original six?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
It's not that somebody was originally part of it and
drifted off for anything like that.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Or the original six?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Okay, what was the first one? What was your first
get together with the six?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Okay, so you don't remember a specific part where the
tradition started, No, I.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Mean I feel like for many years we'd either go
to Williams reunions or we would go to like someone
was getting married, like many years, like Vicky got married
in twenty sixteen, and like Amy got married in two
thousand and nine, like I feel it and everyone had
there was a lot of years with weddings in there,
so that was often the gathering. And I also feel
like before our pre r thirties, I'm not sure we
(24:36):
were so good about doing this annually, just because I
don't know that, like we had the funds, like we
just didn't ever stuff together at that point to do this.
So yeah, I don't know when the first was. But
now I'm gonna float that to the group text after
we're done, and I'll let you know.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Has there ever been a disagreement about something.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Sometimes there's disagreements about lodging, Like certain people have higher
end tastes and then other people are like, I am
not paying that, So that can be point of contention.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And you've come up with a compromise.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I mean, what's the so far we've always been able
to come up with a compromise.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Interesting and it sounds like generally people are more or
less easy going on actual activities.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
That's not a source of contention.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yes, Oh, and I should mention we have done at
least one of these with our partners. We used to
use the name snuggle face ironically to refer to having
a partner, so like we'd be like snuggle face inclusive
or not. That's one of those things that like works
really well in the group chat, and then I say
it out out of the podcast.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I'm like, that's just funny. Now the world knows about
snuggle face.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
So we have done them. I think that was more
pre kids, but there's been at least one or two
where it was Oh and we did one in Portland.
Actually a memorable one was in Portland. Oregon, when Genevieve
and Ali who Sayzusa son were like each eight months old,
and that was like with partners and stuff, and we
have pictures of the babies playing together only two days
apart actually, so they're like almost the same birthday and
(26:04):
those are like iconic photos for us.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah. Well, it's interesting because it sounds to me like
when this got sort of running as a more regular thing,
you were the only person who had kids.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Oh yeah, as we've established, they also all visited me
in Durham when it was just Annabel at one point,
which was the cutest thing ever.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
But as we have established, you are also somewhat the
one spearheading some of the organization for it. And I
feel like in many cases, one of the obstacles to
a regular girls get away slash whatever, friends get away,
whatever it is is that people decide that their kid
responsibilities preclude this, or that the kid's schedules make it impossible.
(26:48):
Whereas in your group people had children later. You were
the one who was on the earlier side. But since
you were the one organizing and spearheading and doing the planning,
it didn't wind up being an obstacle.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I'm sort of just like to.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Break down what makes this work in a long running
way that I think a lot don't.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yes, And again, to be fair, I don't know that
we did it like every year when I had like
a one in three year old, because this hasn't been
like a perfectly consistent year after year thing other than
the past few years. But it's certainly been again like
at least every year or two, there's been some reason
that we all get to see each other.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah, which is great. I mean I love that idea.
I don't know, are you going to do this?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Like have I given you any inspo to get a
group together? I mean when you asked the question about
like would you get your local friends together?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, I know, I think I could be inspired to
do it, And like you said, I do have some
get togethers with like writer friends and such that happen.
I mean, it's like the overlap with professional and personal.
But things don't have to be purely personal, and the
work is life and so there is overlap on that.
But yeah, I think we certainly want to encourage our
(27:55):
listeners to consider doing it as well.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
If you have a group of people that you would like.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
To see, maybe you could take that on as a project,
as a goal over the next year to try to
get some group of them together to do something, and
probably you will enjoy it enough that maybe you can
lock people in for our next getaway while you are
on it and start having a great transition. That could
be all sorts of anticipatory joy in your life because
(28:22):
you look forward to this for a long time. Stary,
I remember you were quite unhappy last fall when you
didn't get to go. Oh.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
I was unhappy for many reasons, but that was.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
One that was one of them.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Sorry for the vague podcasting, but so Partners, your husband
has he ever done anything like this?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Well, he isn't really a group person either.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I mean, neither of us has like the fraternity brothers
from college or something like that. Just is not our
lie That's not our personalities, I think, is what.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I would say.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
But he is really close with his little brother, and
the two of them do things together, like a couple
years ago they went to the Super Bowl together, and
they go skiing together.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Most years. They sometimes get together.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
When my husband's like working in Boston, they will get
together while he is there, so he does get away
with him. It's not a group thing obviously, but that's
just that's great though.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Yeah. Yeah, Josh has also been like there's no regular
occurring thing. He's done some one off trips to Seattle
because he has a close friend there, and he actually
just decided that he's going to do a spring marathon
with our good friend and it's going to be a
guy's trip, and I'm very I'm like really excited for him.
I think that will be kind of a good experience
for him.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, well I'm excited for him too, all right. Well,
so moving to our question part of the show.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
So many people when this is airing are either on
vacation or going to be taking a vacation in August
at some point, and particularly if you're going for a
longer period of time, you might wind up doing some
work on vacation. Stress here that there's a difference between
being forced to work on your vacation days, which is
(30:05):
not really cool. But sometimes we decide that we have responsibilities, Like,
especially if you're in a managerial role, like you need
to kind of check in at some point and all
that you might decide to do it you run your
own business, whatever it is, are there ways to make
that happen without driving everyone else on your vacation. Insane, Sarah,
what do you think?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Well, first, I guess I think we should give you
credit for this inspiring this question because it did kind
of stem from a wonderful Vanderhack's sub stack article. So
you want more wisdom like this, that's subscribing to Van. Yes,
I think working on the plane can be, especially if
it's a long plane ride, you can churn out a
lot of hours of work without really bothering anyone. Now,
(30:47):
of course, if you're on life full on toddler duty
or you're passing your toddler back and forth, that might
be less of a thing. But if your kids are
fiveing up and easily entertained by devices, this could be
a wonderful way to kind of front load the work
on your trip on the way there.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
But not my five year old, Let's see, it's a
different five year old, except Henry.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Early morning hours for me are always like a good
full proof I'm fresh, I can get my coffee, if
I can find a place to sneak to if I
have to work. That's what I think I did when
I had some book to finish and we were skiing
in Montana. I mean, it wasn't my favorite. Honestly, I'm
really hoping that this time I will not Well, I know,
I won't be finishing a book because my book will
have come out like two weeks prior, so I won't
(31:31):
have another book being finished this time. But yeah, I
did them kind of early, got it over with. And
then in your sub stack you mentioned orchestrating a trade
with your partner. Perhaps, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Mean you should.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I have to think about what kind of vacation it
is and what kind of what you're dealing with in
terms of the ages of your kids. As Sarah said,
early morning is good for a lot of this, especially
if you have older kids who might sleep in or
want to sleep in on vacation, or if you are
doing things like sight seeing all day. Then obviously working
in the middle of that is just going to disrupt everything.
So you need to get up early and do it
(32:06):
at the beginning, or maybe it's at the end of
the day after you've come back, if you have like
an hour before everyone goes to dinner, that might be
a time you could make it happen. Now, if you're
stationary somewhere and it's like a relaxed kind of vacation.
You're at the beach, and especially if you have younger kids,
you might decide that you're all going to go out
to the beach in the morning, come back, have lunch,
(32:26):
and then do nap time or screen time, depending on
if the kids are still napping, And then that presents
itself as like one point thirty to three thirty could
be your work time while the kids are napping or
watching a movie, and then you all kind of gather
together at the end of that and then do whatever
your late afternoon thing is before dinner and the rest
of the day. So that might be an option there.
(32:47):
And then of course the other trading off with your partner.
I mean maybe both of you have something you would
like to do that your partner might need to.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Work or want to just do something for him or herself.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And if you decide, especially if you have a longer
day that you need to do like that I'm going
to have to leave in the middle of this beach
vacation to go to the office. Like you're close enough
that that's an option. You could decide that, Okay, I'm
taking Tuesday to do that. Wednesday, the other person does
whatever they're going to do, whether that's work or go
off and do something on their own.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
So you've orchestrated a trade. So each of you feels
like it's fair because.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I would point out that just because you need to
work on vacation does not mean that your partner necessarily
wants to cover more childcare on vacation. So in the
interest of keeping everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Happy, probably need to account for that as you were
planning these things out.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Sounds good to me. Well, Love of the Week, Laura.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
All right, I say the Phillies.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
So Sarah and I went to a Phillies game in
early July when she was here. We decided to go
to another one recently over a Friday night.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
You wanted to see one where they might didn't.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Win, where they won.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yes, it was good to see one where they won,
although it was tenuous because so they were playing the
Detroit Tigers, and the Tigers scored like three runs in
an inning.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I mean, it was really terrible. It was like things
were looking good and.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Then all of a sudden there were like three runs,
so you're down three zero, and eventually the Phillies came back,
and then the Tigers scored another run and then Phillies
scored one, and then there was this call that was
like whether the runner was safe or not, because then
that would have been the third out or not the
third out, and so whether the next run that was
scored on the same play was called, and so it
was like the ump said it was he was out,
(34:31):
and then it was reviewed and it was pretty clear
that everyone the stands was screaming because he wasn't out,
like I mean enough that people could see it. But
so it was called back and so they got the run.
So then the Phillies wound up winning five to four.
So that was pretty exciting.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Yay, that is exciting. My love of the week is
that at this delicious brunch place called Maple and Cream,
they have croissant French toast, and there was also a
place in the Head crossant French toast, and at both
places it's the best of both worlds. So if you
see it on a menu, you should order it.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
All right the end, we will keep that in mind
as a life hack. In general, well, people do up
French toast all kinds of crazy ways. There's this brunch
place near us that has a carrot cake French toast,
so you basically turn carrot cake into French toast, which
is a good idea.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I would like that too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, there's another brunch place that does seasonal French toast
that it's like stuffed with something, so it was like
pumpkin in the fall. There's this chocolate chip cookie dough
French toast that has had my daughter wanting to go
back to this place numerous times, although.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
They've never had it on the venue again.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So, well, I know what we're doing the next time
I come to Philadelphia. I'm excited one of those.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
There's two brunch options then, exactly all right, Well, this
has been best of both worlds. We've been talking friend getaways,
why you might consider them, and the logistics of doing
it based on Sarah's recent happy experience doing so.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
We will be back next week with more on making
work and life fit together.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
and you can.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
This has been the best of both worlds podcasts.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Please join us next time for more on making work
and life work together.
Hi.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
and speaker.
Speaker 3 (00:15):
And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
and course creator. We are two working parents who love
our careers and our families.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
From figuring out childcare to mapping out long.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Term career goals.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
This episode is airing in early to mid August of
twenty twenty five. We are going to be talking about
friend retreats, slash girl getaways, whatever you want to call them,
getting together for a couple of days with friends. How
to make it happen, of course, why you might make
it happen. Although just sounds naturally like a ton of
fun to me, but through the lens of Sarah just
recently had a pretty fun getaway, so we wanted to
(01:06):
dissect that a little bit and then share some best
practices from how she has managed to have close to
annual get togethers with her friends for decades now, which
I think is really.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Cool, So, Sarah, I mean, maybe you could give us
a little.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
Rundown of your friend portfolio currently how this group of
girls fits into that?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Sure, I mean, this group of girls is one of
my sort of far flung friend groups. I guess I
do feel like I have a mix of friends who
are local to the area and then people from other
phases of life or other parts of life that don't
live anywhere near the state. So I guess starting with
local friends, most of them I've gotten to know either
through the kids, like other parents, through work, through running.
(01:50):
I really actually the void of having friends that I
saw like regularly every couple times a week, really in
the morning. I do miss that I don't have like
a sub for that right now. And then also book club,
although I'm still friends with my running club ladies. And
then there's kind of like the kind of farther flong friends.
I have a really close friend who lives in Miami Beach,
(02:11):
which is not far, but it's now far enough that
we have to think about it when we want to
get together, whereas we used to be super local. And
then I have my college friends, and this is the
group that we'll be talking about because this is a
group that's managed to do very consistent get togethers. I
don't know about annual, they've been annual the past few years.
I don't know about for two decades, but they've been consistent.
(02:33):
And that is a group of six friends that I
met at Williams my first year. One of them is
my roommate Azusa, who is a delightful human being. And
then the others were actually in the entry, which is
sort of like the building right next to us, and
we became friends freshman year and into sophomore year, lived
together senior year, and have remained close ever since. And
(02:54):
then I also have this category of like blog friends,
and Laura, I would put you in that just because
that's how we initially got together. And now there are
some others who I text regularly or people who started
off as blog friends, but now I've actually met them
in real life and they just feel like regular long
distance friendships. So I really do feel like that sphere
of my life has given back to me in the
(03:15):
front department quite a bit.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
What about you, Yeah, now that's definitely true, So yeah,
I would I would put the same categories like I
have the few local friends that are available for sort
of regular get together as we often do some sort
of exercise together, run with people, or walk with people,
or sometimes if the weather is bad, we might do
coffee or local brewery like to get together at. And
(03:37):
then a few more far flung friends that I see
a couple times a year, people I guess, like you
who you see on occasion. We don't live in the
same area, but we can still get together when that works.
There's a few people I've gotten to know through my
husband's work, reasonably well acquaintances through the kids friends, things
(03:58):
like that. Kind of jealous of your friend group concept,
like this idea of a distinct group of people where
everyone knows each other, because I feel like a lot
of my friends I'm close with.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Individual people, but those people.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Do not all know each other, and I understand that
there's challenges with that as well, but it's just a
sort of different flavor.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I guess. Yeah, Well, it's interesting to see.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Because I mean, my daughter actually has a friend group
that is a very distinct group of people, Like this
is the group, and they get together regularly all the time,
and there's the friendships within that, and I just find
it interesting. So I don't know, there's just different ways
of interacting with people.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Yeah, I guess my college friends. And then also my
run club feels like a very cohesive group. I will
say the text chain kind of helps solidify a group, like.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Who's on the text chain and who's exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
You're on it or you're not. You have your like
little writer club, Yeah, I have a couple of one
that is true for sure.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
And then in terms of how to keep in touch
with people who are not in your locale, I feel
like there are three separate ways that it can be
consistently done. The text chain is number one, and also
just individual texting. Walk and talks have been a kind
of recent addition to my portfolio, but I've done them
more and more. I tend to do them with specific
people who just like to do it. But that's a
nice way to get kind of deep with someone even
(05:23):
every few months, and kind of keep up with what's
going on in their lives. And then, of course the
in person visits are very, very exciting, and I'm always
amazed at how natural they feel. Like you haven't seen
someone for a year, and of course you've been intermittently texting,
but you wonder like is it still going to feel
like easy and normal when we're together and with my
(05:44):
college friends, It's like, yes, immediately we're twenty again, and
I don't know, like we can all be real with
each other. We obviously have a lot to catch each
other up on because we don't keep up with like
the everyday details of our lives, but it feels very
natural and fun and even easy.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
I would say, Yeah, Well, we're going to spend a
lot of this episode talking about a recent getaway that
Sarah did with her friends. Can you just give the
basic what that was?
Speaker 3 (06:09):
Yes, So they actually came here this time to Fort
Lauderdale Beach area, and we spent about a Wednesday to
a Saturday together.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
Okay, but it's not always in Florida, correct.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
No, So should I go through our location? Well, I
guess we'll get to that.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
But I'm just saying, like, the idea is that you
get together somewhere, but it's not like you have a
set weekend every year that's a set place.
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Correct. The weekend varies and the place varies.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, All right, Well let's start by talking about the logistics.
So how do you guys decide where and when to
get together, So.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
We start with a when, because that is the toughest part.
We are six busy people. You are correct. You mentioned
later in our notes that not everybody have kids. Of
the six of us have kids, so three of us
have kids. I have the oldest children, so I'm the
only one with a teen, and then we've got a
bunch of like toddlers and five year olds and things
like that. But everyone lives in different places, and everyone
(07:10):
works pretty much full time, so that means finding actual
agreed upon time is difficult. And so what we start
with is a shared Google sheet and it has the
months the year listed in everyone's name, and then you
just code the month red, yellow, or green. If it's
a great month for you and you think, oh yeah,
October's looking really open, you make it green. If you're like,
(07:32):
absolutely no way. I always make May red because I'm
just like no. And then once we have it down
to the month or a couple months, because we look
to see where everybody is either yellow or green, then
we can actually list this weekend, this weekend, this weekend,
this weekend, and at that point people usually have even
more granular I can do it or I can't do it,
and then finally we will decide on the date. Ideally
(07:55):
this is done, I mean almost a year in advance.
I am absolutely leading the charge here. I don't know
that everyone else would be that excited about planning so
far ahead. But we do have a nurse who gets
her schedule way in advance. We have two people who
are in the science and medical world who do like
international speaking gigs that get booked like nine months out.
(08:16):
This is a busy group, so it actually does make
sense to solidify these dates on the earlier side. Plus
I need to make sure that I'm not on call,
so usually by at least by like January February, we're
figuring out the dates for a given year.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
And it sounds like you may be somewhat spearheading this.
Would you characterize it that way?
Speaker 3 (08:38):
I haven't been the one that makes the Google sheet.
I feel like that is my friend Nicole. But I'm
usually the one to nag everyone and be like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Okay, so that's the first thing we need in order
to have your girls get away.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
You need a Sarah in your group, right.
Speaker 2 (08:51):
You need somebody who is into planning and it is
into organizing people and is willing to kind of stick
with it.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
And I think that.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
All of those are challenges that might arise as other
people are trying to plan multi people get away.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
We'll get to other challenges that might arise too as well.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
But then let's say you've decided, so you decide date first,
and you guys decided first.
Speaker 3 (09:17):
Okay, So often we'll have date before we have location,
by a matter of months, like, okay, we should be
better about location, as I'll get to in a second,
because lodging can be tough with our particular group of people.
But yeah, usually dates are far beyond any other detail
just because we can't agree.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, but once you have the date, then it moves
to location. And is there a general policy here? I mean,
because you're all over the country, do you try to
go to one person's place or do you try to
meet in the middle?
Speaker 1 (09:45):
What's the thought process here?
Speaker 3 (09:47):
There's no particular policy except we try to share the wealth.
We have two West Coasters, we have two Bostonians a
main and then me, I think we're missing someone there.
But you get my basic idea. We're kind of spread out,
so we wouldn't like go to California every year because
obviously that would be hard for the Boston people and
easy for the California people. We kind of move it around.
(10:07):
Plus moving around is good for variety. And then usually
other than this year, if we pick a summer destination,
we try not to make it a really hot and
disgusting one because a couple of the members of the
group don't prefer that, but they took one for the team.
Speaker 2 (10:20):
Ok, year, and as all right, Well, we're to take
a quick ad break and then we'll be back with
more on the logistics of planning a friend getaway. Well,
we are back talking friend getaways, girls' weekends, that kind
(10:43):
of thing. Looking at this through the lens of Sarah's
recent gathering with her six friends from Williams or six
total people from Williams that they've been getting together over
the decades fairly frequently, so we've learned that she decides
a date many many months agehead of time. Lodging location
comes later. You guys have done both airbnbs and hotel
(11:06):
type situations.
Speaker 3 (11:08):
We have done mostly hotels. We've actually done some interesting
kind of hybrid places. There's this sort of like apartment
like hotel we did in Denver that was kind of interesting,
Like no front desk. It was almost like everyone got
their own mini apartment. We are open to airbnbs, and
in fact, for next year we're considering renting a house
in addition to using one of the actual members of
(11:30):
the group's kind of shorehouse. So yeah, it can vary.
We're pretty open when it comes to lodging.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Okay, but this year you wound up at the b
Ocean Resort. I hear this year what I did.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
End up at the b Ocean Resort, which Laura has
been to twice because it was the scene of Besley
Plans Live for the past two years, not this upcoming
year actually, but it fit the constraine of we do
have to respect people's budgets, and people in this group
have different budgets a little bit, but we just make
sure that everyone is comfortable with what we select in
terms of the niceness and the costs and everything like that.
(12:04):
And this year be Ocean fit the bill really nicely.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
And do you spend a lot of time thinking about
the itinerary? I mean, is this like a planned week
in Europe where you're going to one thing after another
or is it more of a chill and relaxed sort
of thing.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
It is more of a chill and relax sort of thing. Now,
being the person who was closest, I felt a little
bit of pressure to kind of help out and figure
out what we were going to do. And I'll give
you guys a rundown. But we do try to keep
it to just sort of like one chill anchor thing
per day, because the idea is not for us to
be touring some city and seeing a million different landmarks,
but to be doing things that are fun but really
(12:38):
just getting to spend time together, a lot of long
lingering brunches and dinners.
Speaker 1 (12:42):
Yeah, we'll talk us through.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
What did you guys do when you were I mean,
other than see the Mermaid show at be Ocean?
Speaker 3 (12:48):
We did not did not see the March Sarah.
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Now, I'm just disappointed the Mermaids.
Speaker 3 (12:53):
We were thinking about it, but the Mermaids are only
on until nine on Thursday and Friday, and we were
out later than that, so we were just too much fun.
We missed the Mermaids and we did not purchase tickets
to the official burlesque Mermaid show that they have at
the b Ocean. We're giving them a lot of free
advertising today. But yeah, for girls get away that could
have been really, really fun. Honestly, just the idea of
(13:15):
the Mermaids made us happy, so that was good enough,
all right. So basically everyone flew in on Wednesday, and
I actually drove over from my house and met them
at the hotel just to hang out with them for
a bit, and then we went and met up for dinner,
and Josh actually came because the kids were at camp
and I didn't want to entirely leave him out. We
did some girls only dinners, but we figured, hey, but
(13:36):
the kids away, what's wrong with him coming? And they
were all excited to see him. They know him pretty
well by now at this point. And we had dinner
at Yacht which is a place Josh and I have
been to a lot. It was nice because I felt
like we were close enough in Fort Lauderdale that I
had enough since it wasn't that long of it. I
was like, I have a good number of restaurants enough
to fill this time. So that was the first one
(13:57):
we did. On Thursday, everybody kind of relaxed in the morning,
they got breakfast. Another girl actually came in a little
bit later on Thursday, so everyone I think hung out,
had breakfast and I had to go to a family funeral,
so it was actually very lucky that this is a
local event. I did not want to miss Josh's great
ants one hundred and fourth. She turned one hundred and
(14:17):
four and then she passed away. Anyway, lovely woman, Marilyn.
Nice to say goodbye to her, and then I went
back to join my friends because that's what life is
all about. And we met at the spa and I
got a massage and some of them got facial some
of them got massages. We had a great time, went
to the hotel to chill a little bit, and then
went out to dinner at a pizza place. That's where
(14:38):
I thought we'd made it back to the Mermaids, but
again we were having way too much fun. Interestingly, we
found that at most places servers were really happy to
see us and like just they'd ask like, oh, is
anyone local? And I'm like me and then they're like, oh,
where's everyone else from? And when they realized it was
six forty some women that got together, they were super happy,
so that like kind of added a festive air. We
(14:58):
had a great dinner, hung out at the hotel bar
afterwards for a little bit even though we missed the Mermaids.
On Friday, we slept in a little bit and then
went out to brunch, and then I decided we would
spend the day in boc Ratonon just because there's a
mall there that I really like, and there's a Japanese gardens.
And it wasn't because one of the members of our
party happened to be Japanese, but I don't know that
(15:19):
made it even more appropriate. So we hung out of
the gardens, went shopping, went to a lot of fun stores.
I bought a pair of sandals, which I will say,
I'd love to buy some item when we take these trips,
even if it's just like a little cosmetic item, because
then I get to see it and I think, oh,
I bought that with my friends, and I will think
that every time I wear these Nordstrum sandals. And basically
(15:41):
we shopped until we dropped, headed back to the hotel
after the and then went out to a grand finale dinner.
And I actually took everyone out to dinner that night,
in part because I hadn't had to fly and everybody
else had to fly here, and also because we tend
to do little gifts and I just figured, you know what,
in lieu of a physical gift, let me just make
this a gift that everyone will enjoy. So we went
to Toto in Fort Lauderdale Beach, which is a little
(16:03):
bit fancier. Our server was actually not very great at
that restaurant, but the food is excellent, so I don't know,
I had to get throw them a little shade because
they deserved it, but the food is really good. And
then that night we had our own impromptu adventure because afterwards,
three of us went to go back to the room
and the power was out in the tower where we
were staying, so the hotel was totally dark. We went
(16:26):
to the front desk and they said, oh, we're gonna
move you. We don't know when the power is gonna
be back on, but you're gonna have to go in
there and get your stuff. And it was like, oh
my gosh, pitch black, hotel, silent, no power. Thankfully, safety
and numbers. So the three of us actually went to
one room at a time, we used our flashlight phones,
and then as soon as we had packed the first
person up, the lights came back on, but again kind
of added to the memorableness well, you.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Could actually get into your hotel. There aren't the doors electronic.
How does that even work?
Speaker 3 (16:51):
I don't know why it worked. I think it might
be like we asked them and they're like, yeah, it's
gonna work, and it did work. They were right, So yeah,
fun fact about the power outage. They also had some
master key that they said would have worked if not,
but they thought it would work. We all slept in again,
which was luxurious. On Saturday, Laura, you will not believe this,
(17:11):
but I actually went in the ocean.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Yes, it was very exciting. Sarah tend's not to go
in the ocean.
Speaker 3 (17:16):
It was peer pressure and I think I was in
there for fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
And then I can't get you in. I can't get
you in. Apparently my peer pressure isn't strong enough.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Well, the other thing is it happened to be like
a cloudless sky and like the calmest I was like,
if I can't get in under these conditions, like I'm
never going in. I was like fine, but then one
person was like, oh, there's fish touching my feet and
they're like, I'm.
Speaker 1 (17:37):
Out by guys.
Speaker 2 (17:38):
How dare the ocean have marine life in it?
Speaker 3 (17:42):
So I was like, I'll be at the pool, but
I did go in and then we checked out. I
didn't really have any activities planned for that day, but
we all decided to get nail appointments near my house
since I knew where to go. We stopped at a
brunch place on the way that I knew about, and
then we landed at our house, where we played Nintendo,
like a really old Nintendo from the eighties that our
(18:04):
neighbor had given us, and we had Super Mario Brothers, which,
like many of us, have embedded and seered into our memories,
and we sat around and played video games that hung
out with the kids. It was very fun because obviously
I had talked about the kids to them so much,
but some of them hadn't really met the kids since
they were little, so that part was really really fun.
And then we actually cooked dinner, so well, we half
cooked dinner. We did We made our own drinks, We
(18:27):
made old Cubans, and we made some piccadillo, and then
we ordered some additional Cuban takeout to like go with
that because we wanted to give them some kind of
a South Florida flavor. Had a great dinner. They ended
up ubering back to the hotel after and that kind
of concluded the weekend. They flew out the next morning,
so I would definitely call it a success. There was
a little bit of hosting pressure on me, but they
(18:48):
didn't make me feel pressured at all. They're like, it
was very much like I'd be like, let's do this. Okay,
sounds great like because I think everyone just didn't care.
We just wanted to hang out and the terms weren't
that important. Way another, which was wonderful, and I do
feel like I really caught up on everyone. I got
some nice one on one conversations, but we had group
conversations as well, lots of joking, fun nineties and early
(19:11):
aughts music. It was great.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
I love it. I love it. Yeah. Well, I mean,
did you manage to get your next one booked?
Speaker 2 (19:19):
I mean I love the idea of, like the hair selon,
you make your next appointment while you're at this one.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
Did you get your next weekend booked while you were there?
Speaker 3 (19:25):
We did not get to a specific date because I
think especially my two like international speakers, that they're like,
I need to consult the conferences and stuff. But we
did kind of decide that we're most likely I think.
I mentioned like one of them has a beach house
in Massachusetts, so we're going to try to combine her
house within nearby house a little bit off peak season,
(19:47):
so September October, so we've certainly narrowed it down. And
that's always a season when I love to travel because
I love to get out of Florida in the non
fall that we have. So even though we don't have
the exact dates, I feel like that's pretty good in
terms of solidified since it's only August of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, and your kids were actually at camp during this
for at least half of it.
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Yes, So of course one thing that always comes to
mind is like, oh, I feel guilty leaving the kids.
I will say I didn't get a lot of guilt
vibes from the two parents who attended, which is awesome.
I mean, that's the way it should be. Both of
them have involved partners, and both of them have partners
who travel as well, so I think both of them
were like, yeah, like sometimes you go away and sometimes
I go away, and it's doable and it's great for everyone.
(20:31):
So that was awesome on my end. I didn't even like,
I couldn't have felt guilt if I wanted to, because
my kids were at camp.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
For most of this.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
They got back Friday night, our nanny picked them up,
so she took care of them, and then when Josh
got home, she left, and then so Josh really had
like half a day of solo parenting. So yeah, not
a huge ask, although he yeah, he did great in
terms of like helping cook dinner for everyone and just
being kind of part of the festivities without being in
(20:58):
all of it.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Now, do you think you would do something like this
if you didn't have a specific group of people, Like
could you see yourself trying to organize like a group
of your local friends to go to I don't know,
Vancouver together or something like that.
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yes, yes, okay, I mean I think they'd be more
likely for it to be centered around some kind of
event or excuse, Like well, when you and I do
our little recording retreats, like we're trying to get a
bunch of recording done, we're also trying to have fun.
If like my friend was running a race, we might
like go to spectator or something like that. And I actually,
I mean this is very indulgent, but I have another
girl's weekend coming up this year. In my defense, I
(21:36):
took zero last year and these two opportunities just sort
of presented themselves. So I'm going away again. This time
I'm traveling and meeting two friends in the middle of October.
So I guess my answer to that is yes, I'm
kind of always up for this kind of a thing.
And there are bright spots in my life little getaways
(21:57):
with Josh, trips with the kids, and then also solo traveling.
I love all three of those things.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
Awesome. Sounds good.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Well, we're going to take one more quick ad break
and then we'll be talking a little bit more about
logistics of girls getaways, et cetera, and our Q and
A and all that.
Speaker 1 (22:24):
Well, we are back talking friend getaways.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Sarah recently had a great one in Fort Lauderdale, which
was on a getaway for her, but she has traveled
to with the same group of people various places. So
I have a few questions about this that we can
sort of help people who are thinking like this sounds great.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
I'm not sure if I could ever make it happen.
Speaker 2 (22:44):
Do people occasionally miss like what do you do if
you realize in a year that like, you're just not
going to get two of these people to come.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Well, I missed last year. I missed not in a
planned way, but we had something going on where it
was like, you know what, can't go, Sorry, ladies, and
it was sad, but they had a great time without me.
So so far we've always been able to find a
date where all six people can go. But I kind
of am glad there's a precedent of like somebody missing
because it wasn't the end of the world, and like
(23:12):
the group went on and it showed that just because
someone misses one year doesn't make the next year any
less worthwhile. I could imagine that. Interestingly, I mentioned that,
like the other two have young kids and they were
perfectly time with COVID, so we didn't meet up in
like twenty twenty or twenty twenty one, And that was
also when Vicki and Azusa had kids, so that was
(23:32):
like convenient for them not to even feel pressure to
travel when they were still breastfeeding or anything like that. Yeah,
I mean I could imagine a situation where we would
plan a smaller group and we have like kind of
floated the idea of maybe doing just a kid get
away at some point or things like that, but I
think we would at least give it the old college,
try to make all of us be able to make it.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
And is this the original six?
Speaker 2 (23:56):
It's not that somebody was originally part of it and
drifted off for anything like that.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Or the original six?
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Okay, what was the first one? What was your first
get together with the six?
Speaker 3 (24:07):
I have no idea.
Speaker 2 (24:08):
Okay, so you don't remember a specific part where the
tradition started, No, I.
Speaker 3 (24:13):
Mean I feel like for many years we'd either go
to Williams reunions or we would go to like someone
was getting married, like many years, like Vicky got married
in twenty sixteen, and like Amy got married in two
thousand and nine, like I feel it and everyone had
there was a lot of years with weddings in there,
so that was often the gathering. And I also feel
like before our pre r thirties, I'm not sure we
(24:36):
were so good about doing this annually, just because I
don't know that, like we had the funds, like we
just didn't ever stuff together at that point to do this.
So yeah, I don't know when the first was. But
now I'm gonna float that to the group text after
we're done, and I'll let you know.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
Has there ever been a disagreement about something.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
Sometimes there's disagreements about lodging, Like certain people have higher
end tastes and then other people are like, I am
not paying that, So that can be point of contention.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
And you've come up with a compromise.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I mean, what's the so far we've always been able
to come up with a compromise.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Okay, all right.
Speaker 2 (25:08):
Interesting and it sounds like generally people are more or
less easy going on actual activities.
Speaker 1 (25:14):
That's not a source of contention.
Speaker 3 (25:17):
Yes, Oh, and I should mention we have done at
least one of these with our partners. We used to
use the name snuggle face ironically to refer to having
a partner, so like we'd be like snuggle face inclusive
or not. That's one of those things that like works
really well in the group chat, and then I say
it out out of the podcast.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
I'm like, that's just funny. Now the world knows about
snuggle face.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
So we have done them. I think that was more
pre kids, but there's been at least one or two
where it was Oh and we did one in Portland.
Actually a memorable one was in Portland. Oregon, when Genevieve
and Ali who Sayzusa son were like each eight months old,
and that was like with partners and stuff, and we
have pictures of the babies playing together only two days
apart actually, so they're like almost the same birthday and
(26:04):
those are like iconic photos for us.
Speaker 2 (26:06):
Yeah. Well, it's interesting because it sounds to me like
when this got sort of running as a more regular thing,
you were the only person who had kids.
Speaker 3 (26:17):
Oh yeah, as we've established, they also all visited me
in Durham when it was just Annabel at one point,
which was the cutest thing ever.
Speaker 2 (26:23):
But as we have established, you are also somewhat the
one spearheading some of the organization for it. And I
feel like in many cases, one of the obstacles to
a regular girls get away slash whatever, friends get away,
whatever it is is that people decide that their kid
responsibilities preclude this, or that the kid's schedules make it impossible.
(26:48):
Whereas in your group people had children later. You were
the one who was on the earlier side. But since
you were the one organizing and spearheading and doing the planning,
it didn't wind up being an obstacle.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
I'm sort of just like to.
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Break down what makes this work in a long running
way that I think a lot don't.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yes, And again, to be fair, I don't know that
we did it like every year when I had like
a one in three year old, because this hasn't been
like a perfectly consistent year after year thing other than
the past few years. But it's certainly been again like
at least every year or two, there's been some reason
that we all get to see each other.
Speaker 1 (27:21):
Yeah, which is great. I mean I love that idea.
I don't know, are you going to do this?
Speaker 3 (27:26):
Like have I given you any inspo to get a
group together? I mean when you asked the question about
like would you get your local friends together?
Speaker 2 (27:33):
Yeah, I know, I think I could be inspired to
do it, And like you said, I do have some
get togethers with like writer friends and such that happen.
I mean, it's like the overlap with professional and personal.
But things don't have to be purely personal, and the
work is life and so there is overlap on that.
But yeah, I think we certainly want to encourage our
(27:55):
listeners to consider doing it as well.
Speaker 1 (27:58):
If you have a group of people that you would like.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
To see, maybe you could take that on as a project,
as a goal over the next year to try to
get some group of them together to do something, and
probably you will enjoy it enough that maybe you can
lock people in for our next getaway while you are
on it and start having a great transition. That could
be all sorts of anticipatory joy in your life because
(28:22):
you look forward to this for a long time. Stary,
I remember you were quite unhappy last fall when you
didn't get to go. Oh.
Speaker 3 (28:28):
I was unhappy for many reasons, but that was.
Speaker 1 (28:30):
One that was one of them.
Speaker 3 (28:32):
Sorry for the vague podcasting, but so Partners, your husband
has he ever done anything like this?
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Well, he isn't really a group person either.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
I mean, neither of us has like the fraternity brothers
from college or something like that. Just is not our
lie That's not our personalities, I think, is what.
Speaker 1 (28:48):
I would say.
Speaker 2 (28:50):
But he is really close with his little brother, and
the two of them do things together, like a couple
years ago they went to the Super Bowl together, and
they go skiing together.
Speaker 1 (29:00):
Most years. They sometimes get together.
Speaker 2 (29:03):
When my husband's like working in Boston, they will get
together while he is there, so he does get away
with him. It's not a group thing obviously, but that's
just that's great though.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
Yeah. Yeah, Josh has also been like there's no regular
occurring thing. He's done some one off trips to Seattle
because he has a close friend there, and he actually
just decided that he's going to do a spring marathon
with our good friend and it's going to be a
guy's trip, and I'm very I'm like really excited for him.
I think that will be kind of a good experience
for him.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
Yeah, well I'm excited for him too, all right. Well,
so moving to our question part of the show.
Speaker 2 (29:43):
So many people when this is airing are either on
vacation or going to be taking a vacation in August
at some point, and particularly if you're going for a
longer period of time, you might wind up doing some
work on vacation. Stress here that there's a difference between
being forced to work on your vacation days, which is
(30:05):
not really cool. But sometimes we decide that we have responsibilities, Like,
especially if you're in a managerial role, like you need
to kind of check in at some point and all
that you might decide to do it you run your
own business, whatever it is, are there ways to make
that happen without driving everyone else on your vacation. Insane, Sarah,
what do you think?
Speaker 3 (30:26):
Well, first, I guess I think we should give you
credit for this inspiring this question because it did kind
of stem from a wonderful Vanderhack's sub stack article. So
you want more wisdom like this, that's subscribing to Van. Yes,
I think working on the plane can be, especially if
it's a long plane ride, you can churn out a
lot of hours of work without really bothering anyone. Now,
(30:47):
of course, if you're on life full on toddler duty
or you're passing your toddler back and forth, that might
be less of a thing. But if your kids are
fiveing up and easily entertained by devices, this could be
a wonderful way to kind of front load the work
on your trip on the way there.
Speaker 2 (31:03):
But not my five year old, Let's see, it's a
different five year old, except Henry.
Speaker 3 (31:10):
Early morning hours for me are always like a good
full proof I'm fresh, I can get my coffee, if
I can find a place to sneak to if I
have to work. That's what I think I did when
I had some book to finish and we were skiing
in Montana. I mean, it wasn't my favorite. Honestly, I'm
really hoping that this time I will not Well, I know,
I won't be finishing a book because my book will
have come out like two weeks prior, so I won't
(31:31):
have another book being finished this time. But yeah, I
did them kind of early, got it over with. And
then in your sub stack you mentioned orchestrating a trade
with your partner. Perhaps, yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (31:44):
Mean you should.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
I have to think about what kind of vacation it
is and what kind of what you're dealing with in
terms of the ages of your kids. As Sarah said,
early morning is good for a lot of this, especially
if you have older kids who might sleep in or
want to sleep in on vacation, or if you are
doing things like sight seeing all day. Then obviously working
in the middle of that is just going to disrupt everything.
So you need to get up early and do it
(32:06):
at the beginning, or maybe it's at the end of
the day after you've come back, if you have like
an hour before everyone goes to dinner, that might be
a time you could make it happen. Now, if you're
stationary somewhere and it's like a relaxed kind of vacation.
You're at the beach, and especially if you have younger kids,
you might decide that you're all going to go out
to the beach in the morning, come back, have lunch,
(32:26):
and then do nap time or screen time, depending on
if the kids are still napping, And then that presents
itself as like one point thirty to three thirty could
be your work time while the kids are napping or
watching a movie, and then you all kind of gather
together at the end of that and then do whatever
your late afternoon thing is before dinner and the rest
of the day. So that might be an option there.
(32:47):
And then of course the other trading off with your partner.
I mean maybe both of you have something you would
like to do that your partner might need to.
Speaker 1 (32:55):
Work or want to just do something for him or herself.
Speaker 2 (32:57):
And if you decide, especially if you have a longer
day that you need to do like that I'm going
to have to leave in the middle of this beach
vacation to go to the office. Like you're close enough
that that's an option. You could decide that, Okay, I'm
taking Tuesday to do that. Wednesday, the other person does
whatever they're going to do, whether that's work or go
off and do something on their own.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
So you've orchestrated a trade. So each of you feels
like it's fair because.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
I would point out that just because you need to
work on vacation does not mean that your partner necessarily
wants to cover more childcare on vacation. So in the
interest of keeping everyone.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
Happy, probably need to account for that as you were
planning these things out.
Speaker 3 (33:36):
Sounds good to me. Well, Love of the Week, Laura.
Speaker 1 (33:40):
All right, I say the Phillies.
Speaker 2 (33:43):
So Sarah and I went to a Phillies game in
early July when she was here. We decided to go
to another one recently over a Friday night.
Speaker 3 (33:52):
You wanted to see one where they might didn't.
Speaker 1 (33:55):
Win, where they won.
Speaker 2 (33:56):
Yes, it was good to see one where they won,
although it was tenuous because so they were playing the
Detroit Tigers, and the Tigers scored like three runs in
an inning.
Speaker 1 (34:04):
I mean, it was really terrible. It was like things
were looking good and.
Speaker 2 (34:07):
Then all of a sudden there were like three runs,
so you're down three zero, and eventually the Phillies came back,
and then the Tigers scored another run and then Phillies
scored one, and then there was this call that was
like whether the runner was safe or not, because then
that would have been the third out or not the
third out, and so whether the next run that was
scored on the same play was called, and so it
was like the ump said it was he was out,
(34:31):
and then it was reviewed and it was pretty clear
that everyone the stands was screaming because he wasn't out,
like I mean enough that people could see it. But
so it was called back and so they got the run.
So then the Phillies wound up winning five to four.
So that was pretty exciting.
Speaker 3 (34:47):
Yay, that is exciting. My love of the week is
that at this delicious brunch place called Maple and Cream,
they have croissant French toast, and there was also a
place in the Head crossant French toast, and at both
places it's the best of both worlds. So if you
see it on a menu, you should order it.
Speaker 2 (35:07):
All right the end, we will keep that in mind
as a life hack. In general, well, people do up
French toast all kinds of crazy ways. There's this brunch
place near us that has a carrot cake French toast,
so you basically turn carrot cake into French toast, which
is a good idea.
Speaker 3 (35:24):
I would like that too.
Speaker 2 (35:25):
Yeah, there's another brunch place that does seasonal French toast
that it's like stuffed with something, so it was like
pumpkin in the fall. There's this chocolate chip cookie dough
French toast that has had my daughter wanting to go
back to this place numerous times, although.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
They've never had it on the venue again.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
So, well, I know what we're doing the next time
I come to Philadelphia. I'm excited one of those.
Speaker 2 (35:46):
There's two brunch options then, exactly all right, Well, this
has been best of both worlds. We've been talking friend getaways,
why you might consider them, and the logistics of doing
it based on Sarah's recent happy experience doing so.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
We will be back next week with more on making
work and life fit together.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
and you can.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
This has been the best of both worlds podcasts.
Speaker 2 (36:18):
Please join us next time for more on making work
and life work together.
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