June 5, 2025 • 38 mins
Karoline reexamines her 20 years of marriage – the life she thought she was living, and the one her husband was hiding just under her nose.
If you would like to reach out to the Betrayal Team, email us at betrayalpod@gmail.com and follow us on Instagram at @betrayalpod
To access our newsletter and additional content and to connect with the Betrayal community, join our Substack at betrayal.substack.com.
You can listen new episodes of Betrayal Season 4 completely ad-free and 1 week early with an iHeart True Crime+ subscription, available exclusively on Apple Podcasts.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey guys. Before we get into the episode, a quick note.
We're looking for news stories of betrayal for our weekly
Betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal
and feel ready to share your story, now is a
great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayal Pod
at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on
my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep
breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can
smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound. Where
is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that
his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four,
Episode three, Revisionist History. April eleventh, twenty twenty two was
Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two.
It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her
(01:18):
that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle
while on duty. It was also the day he was
placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family
had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just
about infidelity. It was about twenty years of lies, a
picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand
(01:42):
the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back
in time to a few key moments in Caroline and
Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going
to show you the split screen, on one side what
Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what
Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with
(02:05):
the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh,
twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy
tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the
best of everything. We were traveling together and we had
these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking
about what it was going to look like to retire
and not have a care in the world for day
(02:36):
to day life. We had this dream together. We were
not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and
blessed life before that day.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But after April eleventh, I was lost.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
To say I was numb is an understatement, like I
have been with this person for more than half my life.
He is all I have known. It just was this
feeling of what the hell am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
In the days after D Day, Joel made a series
of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed
new details about what he had done, and Caroline began
to replay the tape of her own life with Joel.
That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been
buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning.
(03:32):
Let's start back in two thousand and one. Caroline was
twenty five years old when she and Joel got married,
and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend
read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and
she was excited to be part of the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was
two thousand and one and email communication was still new
for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the
first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account.
I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so
I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this.
Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as
well as myself.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview
lines to other emails Joel had recently received.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And I noticed the friends who did their reading on
our wedding. There were several email correspondences with.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
And so I clicked and started reading through them, and
there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing
what it would have been like had they married each other,
or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a
and they got pretty graphic.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online
sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony,
a woman who had read the words.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the
computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails.
Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually she returned
home to confront him.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through
the house and he's on his knees waiting for me,
and he's crying and crying and over and over, just
assured me that it was just merely for attention and
that you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said,
(06:01):
you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that
I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah,
because at this point there's no trust.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he
was serious, and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling,
Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief
from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and
did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming
down his face. He promised it would never happen again,
(06:34):
and Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a
few emails.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so
we were able to work through this. Early on, when
he did this, I thought naively that this was going
to make us stronger.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she
realized this was the first time she chose to see
the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love
appeared to grow stronger. Just like she'd hoped, and a
couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child.
(07:18):
In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to
give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had
an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor
recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel,
begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he
got there, he seemed off.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's
hard to like confess and admit this now, and very
few people know this. But when it came time to push,
the doctor came in and sat me up and said,
you know, here's what we're gonna do. What started explaining things,
(08:00):
and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys
just all hold on for a minute so that I
can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet,
and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and
take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife.
(08:21):
And the nurse who was in the room, she asked
if I was okay and safe at home?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
It was humiliating.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
After our son was born. He said that he was
just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because
of work and said that he was going to go
home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the
hospital with our newborn son.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline
to revisit. The very first day of her son's life.
Joel was mia.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Starting bright and early in the morning. His colleagues and
his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel
wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all
of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking
where you're at. Are you going to come to the
hospital see the baby and I And so he said,
(09:25):
I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed
by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's
forced to look back and ask herself.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Did he leave that night after I had our son
to go be with someone or do something? I don't know.
I would hope not. I hope that he went home
just to get some sleep. But it's something now that
I've replayed.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married
a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be
times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she
would be the one to pull the weight. But when
it came to big moments like the birth of their child,
she thought surely the family would come first, and if
(10:17):
anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to
be by her side. We're going to fast forward to
January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted
to the hospital. She was thirteen.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern
for her being septic, and so she was admitted to
a children's hospital for about a week.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
That was one of the first times I ever saw
my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I
was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just
been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off
work to come stay with her because it would be
a bad look.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this
notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work
like he had to be there, and so I don't
think it was even really a choice in my head
that he could be there.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't
be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter.
It was disappointing, but not surprising.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I now know why he really wasn't there. I found
very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to
meet someone for sex.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
When Caroline first told her mom she met the man
she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ,
you'd better not be a cop. But over the course
of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family,
so close that when her mother passed away, he served
as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed
(12:34):
down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want
to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be
wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income.
He promised to manage it for her, and he did.
He found the runners and handled all the communication with them,
But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for
(12:57):
another reason. We're going to go to April twenty twenty.
When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it
as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that
could have been her d day, but it wasn't because
on this day, Joel was able to stay in control.
(13:19):
Here's their son's memory of what happened.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
I was still in high school. I had to be
sophomore junior year. I get home from school and I
usually my mom will greet me or say something when
I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so
I go up to the office and I see my
mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she
showed me. She said, look at what this person just
(13:44):
messaged me on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant
that was living in their rental property.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with
it by my mom and he denies it. And I
remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if
this is true, like we're done. I'm never fucking talking
to you again.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and
why he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel.
He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline
insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to
get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect,
(14:32):
Caroline taped the encounter.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Hello, what's going on? Well, you tell me.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking
for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was
any relationship between her and Joel.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Why.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I don't know if he's just trying to get to
me to hurt me. I had no idea, because the
thing is I was trying to break up with him.
We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to
be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation. How
did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama
and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who
Joel was?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So you said something, You said something to make some
psychopath think this about.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce.
My kids want me out of the house.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Remember this was the before times. Caroline and the kids
believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Joel was able to keep his family together and put
this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their
son felt when he first heard about the accusation.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I mean, I was an asshole to him after this,
and I remember we were in the car together driving,
and this was a very memorable moment for me, because
it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong
or are seemingly wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came
at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up,
he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I was in the passenger seat and it was just
us in the car, and I apologized to him for
how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and
said thank you for saying that. But no, come to
find out all of it was true.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in
the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been
having sex with the renner where we.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Got and you had sex.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
At the We're in the house.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
In the basement, so you go down to that dirty,
filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater
Joel and the tenant played their parts.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well. We asked you, did you do this?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Did you do this?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
You said no.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Nicole couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her
not say anything to me.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate,
Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut.
Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but
stood by while she took all the heat and he
played the victim. It's a stark example of the split
(17:37):
screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first
playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold,
flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times.
After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing.
They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They
(17:59):
were a trail of his oath as an officer. In
episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty.
Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as
tensions escalated.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he
would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up.
This was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he
confessed to me that all of the bruises that I
was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a
result of the riots at all. He admitted to me
(18:34):
that he had been having an affair during those hours
with a coworker, and he was having sex with her
at their offices, at the police department, in various areas
of town, or in his police car, and the marks
and bruising were a result of his escapades.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing
that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex
with a coworker. We're going to come back to this coworker,
but before we do, there's one more example of Joel
using work as a cover of how low Joel was
willing to go to avoid the truth.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where
he was called out to an accident in the middle
of the night, and he said it was a fatal
accident and that he would be out for a little bit.
This was uncommon.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit.
This required him to go out to the scene of
fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at
all hours day or night.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I was awake because he needed to get up to
get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me,
give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know,
be safe. I'll see you when you get home.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty,
which helped them keep track of each other's locations.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep,
and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media,
and then I see from one of the news sites
that the accident that he was called out to had
actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half
before that. It was already moved and done. So I
(20:19):
looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him
in just kind of this random location, not too far
from our home. I texted him and I said, hey,
where are you at. He didn't text back, and so
I thought that's strange, because even if he was at
some type of accident or call for service, almost always
within minutes he would text back or you know, do
(20:39):
an auto reply from his watch or something and say,
can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything. So
then I got a little concerned and I called him.
He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited
for a little bit, and then I texted him again
and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you.
And then he texted me back and said, I'm at
(21:01):
a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right
now to help. I'll be home in a little bit.
And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the
phone where I can see him speeding to our house.
He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital,
He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home,
(21:24):
I said, are you lying to me? And he said,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
His location on the app didn't match what he told her.
He was saying one thing and she was seeing another.
Joel blamed the technology.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I
was at the hospital. Oh my god, do you think
I want to be out in the middle of the
night any longer than I have to be? And so
he just kept saying this to me to the point
where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It's hard to look back on those moments, because when
you love someone and believe in their love for you,
you accept answers you believe.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
After we learned about his true colors and what he
was really doing, I asked him about that night and
he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet
and we arranged to meet at an exit close to
the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at,
and you caught me.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
The data didn't lie, Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception
of her husband. She used to see him as a
hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing
but a liar. As for that coworker, Joel confessed to
having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from.
(22:50):
Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise,
she responded. Caroline was able to make contact with the
(23:21):
woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text,
and she shared those texts with us.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the
wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward
to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work.
Hours with internal affairs investigators.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was
going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His
former mistress responded.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said
he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone
about himself. That was almost two years ago. Now I
don't know what has happened or why he lost his job,
but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him
since twenty twenty.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Ish.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after
his being involved in all that. I'm really sorry for
whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece
of shit and you deserve better run.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
The woman may have been really sorry, but when my
producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much
sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating.
We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted
her voice to protect her privacy. Oh yeah, she won't
let this go.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
We'll see.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what like. Everybody
says that she's kind of a problem. And I'm not
sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a
background you've done on her, because from what I understand,
it wasn't and this is not coming from him. From
(25:15):
what I understand is that you know, she was very
controlling and not nice and something with some other family members.
Shouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from
her friends and family, and it helped us put together
another piece of the puzzle how Joel kept his double
life secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One
way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was
to paint her as the problem, and it seems like
(25:56):
Joel did exactly that. Did you ever meet his wife? No,
this coworker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard
similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that
everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem.
(26:17):
Here's a former CSPD officer we're calling Dan.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
Other officers I think that were much closer to him
socially would always make some comments about like how maybe
he had to get permission to just do anything with
anyone else from her before he could do that. And
you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house.
That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in
(26:43):
the department.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving
Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline,
and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured
it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a
mental health episode. He and Caroline were attending their son's
high school sporting event. It should have been a fun
(27:05):
time out, but Joel was distracted.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this
is about twenty nineteen, now fast forward, after our life
blew up. He actually admitted to me why he was
desponded and behaving the way he was. It was because
he had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to
(27:29):
do with our son and driving and the concern or
anything like that.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
The woman who texted Caroline saying I ended what he
started had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair,
he planned an elaborate bow renewal. He stood before family
and friends and professed his love for his wife.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
First time around, we did church bows. This time around,
we're going to speak from the heart. And so we're
before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting
on the beach, and when he gets ready to start
his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says,
you know, over twenty years ago I impulsively asked you
(28:15):
to marry me, and this time I want to do
it right. Would you marry me all over again? And
has this new, big, beautiful ring. And it was just
such a shock and the surprise. I mean, I felt
like life was perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
On the day of his revelations. What was once a cherished,
loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
That was their firsthand and I witnessed the whole val
renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at
his actions now and say there could be any truth
in it. Maybe he thought there was truth, but and
his actions absolutely not. It's just you feel betrayal and
(29:08):
just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me,
there's no point in even thinking back on it, because
it was rooted in a lie.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
After April eleventh, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails,
she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just
eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a
person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead,
Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at
the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was
(29:44):
so disturbed at the thought of their home being in
Joel's pictures that she sold all the furniture in their
living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave,
he could see the writing on the wall. He knew
for months that he was being investigated work, but he
kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her
(30:05):
dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened
just months before d Day. We weren't sure what to
make of it, but it affected her so deeply. We
wanted you to hear what happened.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
In November of twenty twenty one, our daughter had left
for school for something very early in the morning. Joel
had told me that he too was going to go
into work early that day and that he'd semulater that night.
I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye
and tells me to have a great day. And I
(30:40):
was asleep still, and when I woke up, I woke
up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented, Their daughter
was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in,
and my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound.
Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is
that his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the
hallway from the garage.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And so I got up and the auxiliary door to
our garage.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Was just a little open, and when I opened it,
it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face,
just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck
had been left running in our garage.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I was panicked and didn't know what to do, and
so I hit the garage open, and I went out
to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying
to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to
take a big deep breath in, and uh, you know,
I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go
over to open his truck to shut the engine off,
(31:59):
and I can't open it's locked.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
So she ran back into the house to get the
spare key.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
We have a key ring holder where we put all
our keys. His police car was gone, and our daughters
were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there, and
so I got the truck keys down I was able
to open the truck. I opened the truck and I
turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second,
and I'm like, what the heck just happened.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's
truck had been seeping into the house. Caroline called Joel,
flustered and upset.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I said, you left the truck running with the garage
door close and the door between the garage and the
house just a little open. And he said I did.
And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well,
there's no way I did that. And I said, how
would that happen? Then then he started saying that his
truck keys must have been in his pocket and he
(32:58):
must have accidentally hit the off start when he was
pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said,
there's no way you could have done that. Both sets
of truck keys are hanging on the keyring, and so
we went back and forth, and he had me convinced
that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something
something happened.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
If it was a defect, it was one that could
have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started.
Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in
her home. That brings us to Sunday, April tenth, twenty
twenty two. It was the day before their lives would
(33:37):
change forever. Little did Caroline know the two worlds she
didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During
this time. One constant for Caroline and the kids had
been their faith. Here's Nicole, I.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Have my own little path I suppose with my religion,
and so I was going to Mass pretty frequently before that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
This is something that the kids might did together. He
never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist. And
as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges
and says he's going.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
With us again. This was Sunday, April tenth, when Joel
suddenly showed interest in going to church that day. Nicole
was excited and.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious, You're really going
to go? To church with us, and he said, yes,
I want to go with you guys. I want to
be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's
time I give church a chance.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something
new or something. I was really happy that he wanted
to have family time.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship
with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on
the edge of exposure. Cole reflects on that day. Now
she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a
completely different light.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Looking back on it. Maybe it was his last resorts,
a call upon the Big Man.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I suppose call it a hail Mary. Or maybe Joel
wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness.
But at the time it felt like a lovely family.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Sunday, we went to breakfast together after church, and I
still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop
we were at. We even went to Costco together. We
just had this really good day together and I just
remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel
was wanting to be healthy, and that maybe some of
(35:48):
these changes that felt scary, were about ready to be
just really positive things for him.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It was the last good day they'd ever have as
a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage,
or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire
adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of
her first child, are tainted forever. No memory is sacred,
(36:18):
you know, At.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh, gosh,
there we were at Disney World together, and then my
brain goes too, God, that was such a great trip.
But what were you doing when we weren't looking.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside
CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally
caught up with him.
Speaker 7 (36:49):
The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track
of all your lives, and quite frankly, I question how
many other women are out there that may bring forward
allegations in the future.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern,
But how do you catch a master manipulator and a
lie Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If
you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team.
Email us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's
Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure
(37:23):
to follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me
Andrea H. Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates.
One way to support the series is by subscribing to
our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal
five star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do.
Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of
(37:44):
Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show
is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal
is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and
produced by Kerrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristin Melcury. Our iHeart
(38:04):
team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by
Monique Leboard, Audio editing and mixing by Matt Alvecchio, editing
by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Kitlin Golden
and Rocky All, and special thanks to Caroline and her family.
Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided
(38:26):
by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hey guys. Before we get into the episode, a quick note.
We're looking for news stories of betrayal for our weekly
Betrayal series, which returns in August. If you've experienced betrayal
and feel ready to share your story, now is a
great time to reach out. Email us at Betrayal Pod
at gmail dot com. That's Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
I woke up just kind of feeling this heaviness on
my chest, like it was difficult to take a deep
breath in, and my eyes were burning, and you can
smell the exhaust and you heard this rumbling sound. Where
is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is that
his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1 (00:57):
I'm Andrea Gunning, and this is Betrayal C Season four,
Episode three, Revisionist History. April eleventh, twenty twenty two was
Caroline's d day, the day that split her life in two.
It was the day her husband, Joel Kern, told her
(01:18):
that he had received oral sex in his police vehicle
while on duty. It was also the day he was
placed on leave pending termination, threatening the job their family
had sacrificed so much for. For Caroline, this wasn't just
about infidelity. It was about twenty years of lies, a
picture perfect family that never truly was. To fully understand
(01:42):
the impact of Joel's betrayal, we need to go back
in time to a few key moments in Caroline and
Joel's marriage. There were two realities happening, and we're going
to show you the split screen, on one side what
Caroline experienced in the moment, and on the other, what
Joel was really doing behind the scenes. Let's start with
(02:05):
the life Caroline thought she had with Joel before April eleventh,
twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
We had, in my opinion, what would be a fairy
tale family for a law enforcement family. We made the
best of everything. We were traveling together and we had
these kids who were just rock stars. We were talking
about what it was going to look like to retire
and not have a care in the world for day
(02:36):
to day life. We had this dream together. We were
not perfect, but we damn sure lived a beautiful and
blessed life before that day.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
But after April eleventh, I was lost.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
To say I was numb is an understatement, like I
have been with this person for more than half my life.
He is all I have known. It just was this
feeling of what the hell am I going to do?
Speaker 1 (03:07):
In the days after D Day, Joel made a series
of confessions. Every time he spoke with Caroline, he revealed
new details about what he had done, and Caroline began
to replay the tape of her own life with Joel.
That process brought up old memories, Moments that had been
buried deep in her mind now took on new meaning.
(03:32):
Let's start back in two thousand and one. Caroline was
twenty five years old when she and Joel got married,
and in episode one, we shared that Joel's childhood friend
read this passage at their wedding. Love is patient and kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
He invited a childhood friend to do a reading and
she was excited to be part of the ceremony.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
Only six months after the wedding, something happened. It was
two thousand and one and email communication was still new
for some people. Caroline's aunt was using email for the
first time, so Caroline decided to send her a message.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
As I logged on, I couldn't get into my email account.
I noticed, though, that Joel's was already up, and so
I thought, oh, she'll get a kick out of this.
Even more because she'll think it's coming from Joel as
well as myself.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Caroline sent the email, but then she saw the preview
lines to other emails Joel had recently received.
Speaker 2 (04:31):
And I noticed the friends who did their reading on
our wedding. There were several email correspondences with.
Speaker 1 (04:39):
Her, and the preview lines made Caroline look twice.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
And so I clicked and started reading through them, and
there was email after email exchange between the pair discussing
what it would have been like had they married each other,
or if they ever had a opportunity for romantic a
and they got pretty graphic.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Just months after their wedding, Joel was having an online
sexual conversation with a woman who was part of their ceremony,
a woman who had read the words.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Caroline was stunned. She left a note next to the
computer letting Joel know that she had seen the emails.
Then she fled to her parents' house. Eventually she returned
home to confront him.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I pull into the garage, opened the door, walked through
the house and he's on his knees waiting for me,
and he's crying and crying and over and over, just
assured me that it was just merely for attention and
that you know, look, I'll do anything. And then he said,
(06:01):
you know, I'll go to counseling to assure you that
I'll never let this happen again. And so I said, yeah,
because at this point there's no trust.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Joel said he was committed to showing Caroline that he
was serious, and they found a marriage counselor. During counseling,
Joel attributed his behavior to job stress and residual grief
from his father's death three years prior. Joel said and
did all the right things. He apologized with tears streaming
down his face. He promised it would never happen again,
(06:34):
and Caroline believed him. After all, it was only a
few emails.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
I convinced myself there was no physical cheating, and so
we were able to work through this. Early on, when
he did this, I thought naively that this was going
to make us stronger.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
After D Day, Caroline returned to this memory and she
realized this was the first time she chose to see
the best in Joel. Once Caroline forgave Joel, their love
appeared to grow stronger. Just like she'd hoped, and a
couple of years later, Caroline became pregnant with her first child.
(07:18):
In the final doctor's appointment before she was due to
give birth, Joel didn't show up. He said he had
an important work lunch. But at that appointment, Caroline's doctor
recommended she'd be induced right away, so she called Joel,
begging him to meet her at the hospital. When he
got there, he seemed off.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Joel had been complaining he was super tired and it's
hard to like confess and admit this now, and very
few people know this. But when it came time to push,
the doctor came in and sat me up and said,
you know, here's what we're gonna do. What started explaining things,
(08:00):
and Joel raised his finger and said, can you guys
just all hold on for a minute so that I
can use the bathroom, And everyone just got real quiet,
and the doctor said, why don't you go ahead and
take care of yourself and we'll stay with your wife.
(08:21):
And the nurse who was in the room, she asked
if I was okay and safe at home?
Speaker 3 (08:27):
It was humiliating.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
After our son was born. He said that he was
just incredibly tired, that he had gotten no sleep because
of work and said that he was going to go
home and get sleep. Meanwhile, I was alone at the
hospital with our newborn son.
Speaker 1 (08:54):
This is one of the most difficult memories for Caroline
to revisit. The very first day of her son's life.
Joel was mia.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Starting bright and early in the morning. His colleagues and
his coworkers were coming in to congratulate us, and Joel
wasn't there. And so I called him and said, all
of your coworkers are coming in and people are asking
where you're at. Are you going to come to the
hospital see the baby and I And so he said,
(09:25):
I just really needed a night to catch up on sleep.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Caroline assumed Joel really was exhausted, maybe he was overwhelmed
by the reality of becoming a father. But now she's
forced to look back and ask herself.
Speaker 2 (09:42):
Did he leave that night after I had our son
to go be with someone or do something? I don't know.
I would hope not. I hope that he went home
just to get some sleep. But it's something now that
I've replayed.
Speaker 1 (09:57):
Caroline knew what she was getting into when she married
a cop. Her eyes were wide open. There would be
times when Joel would have to prioritize work and she
would be the one to pull the weight. But when
it came to big moments like the birth of their child,
she thought surely the family would come first, and if
(10:17):
anything ever happened to their children, she expected Joel to
be by her side. We're going to fast forward to
January of twenty nineteen, when their daughter, Nicole was admitted
to the hospital. She was thirteen.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
She had a very severe bacterial infection that grew concern
for her being septic, and so she was admitted to
a children's hospital for about a week.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
That was one of the first times I ever saw
my mom cry. I just was not doing well. I
was weak and lost twenty pounds in a week.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
The timing couldn't have been worse for Joel. He'd just
been nominated for the permanent public Information Officer position.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Joel was insistent that he couldn't take any time off
work to come stay with her because it would be
a bad look.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
I wanted him around, but I just constantly had this
notion in my head that my dad couldn't sacrifice work
like he had to be there, and so I don't
think it was even really a choice in my head
that he could be there.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
They were used to Joel putting work first. He couldn't
be there to support Caroline or care for his daughter.
It was disappointing, but not surprising.
Speaker 2 (11:38):
I now know why he really wasn't there. I found
very clear evidence later that he had made arrangements to
meet someone for sex.
Speaker 1 (12:11):
When Caroline first told her mom she met the man
she was going to marry, her mom said, Jesus Christ,
you'd better not be a cop. But over the course
of their marriage, he became incredibly close with Caroline's family,
so close that when her mother passed away, he served
as the executor of her estate. Among the assets passed
(12:34):
down to Caroline was a rental property she didn't want
to keep. However, Joel convinced her that it would be
wise to hold onto it. It would provide passive income.
He promised to manage it for her, and he did.
He found the runners and handled all the communication with them,
But unbeknownst to Caroline, he was using that property for
(12:57):
another reason. We're going to go to April twenty twenty.
When Caroline looks back on this day, she sees it
as Joel's closest call, a near miss, A day that
could have been her d day, but it wasn't because
on this day, Joel was able to stay in control.
(13:19):
Here's their son's memory of what happened.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
I was still in high school. I had to be
sophomore junior year. I get home from school and I
usually my mom will greet me or say something when
I get home, but I didn't hear anything. And so
I go up to the office and I see my
mom just in tears, and she's beside herself, and she
showed me. She said, look at what this person just
(13:44):
messaged me on Facebook.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
The message claimed that Joel was sleeping with the tenant
that was living in their rental property.
Speaker 4 (13:51):
And then my dad gets home and he's confronted with
it by my mom and he denies it. And I
remember confronting him and I told him, I said, if
this is true, like we're done. I'm never fucking talking
to you again.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Joel told Caroline somebody was messing with them. Who and
why he didn't know. But here's the thing about Joel.
He didn't get anxious or crazy. He was calm. Caroline
insisted on going to the rental property with Joel to
get to the bottom of it. Not knowing what to expect,
(14:32):
Caroline taped the encounter.
Speaker 2 (14:36):
Hello, what's going on? Well, you tell me.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
The tenant blamed her ex boyfriend, saying he was looking
for revenge after their breakup. She strongly denied there was
any relationship between her and Joel.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
Why.
Speaker 1 (14:52):
I don't know if he's just trying to get to
me to hurt me. I had no idea, because the
thing is I was trying to break up with him.
We have art time's arguments, and then he's trying to
be nice to Caroline was furious with the situation. How
did her family get mixed up in the runner's drama
and how did the runner's ex boyfriend even know who
Joel was?
Speaker 2 (15:10):
So you said something, You said something to make some
psychopath think this about.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
My husband, and here's Joel defending himself in the moment.
Speaker 5 (15:19):
This psychopath is got me on the road to a divorce.
My kids want me out of the house.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
Remember this was the before times. Caroline and the kids
believed Joel had nothing to do with the tenant.
Speaker 4 (15:31):
He proved his innocence, Seemingly to us.
Speaker 1 (15:37):
Joel was able to keep his family together and put
this mix up behind them. That didn't change how their
son felt when he first heard about the accusation.
Speaker 4 (15:46):
I mean, I was an asshole to him after this,
and I remember we were in the car together driving,
and this was a very memorable moment for me, because
it kind of takes gall to admit when you're wrong
or are seemingly wrong.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
Initially, their son didn't believe Joel. In fact, he came
at Joel pretty hard, but after the renter cleared it up,
he felt guilty for attacking his father and he humbled himself.
Speaker 4 (16:17):
I was in the passenger seat and it was just
us in the car, and I apologized to him for
how I treated him, and he accepted my apology and
said thank you for saying that. But no, come to
find out all of it was true.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
On the day Caroline and her kids confronted Joel in
the RV, he admitted that he had in fact been
having sex with the renner where we.
Speaker 2 (16:42):
Got and you had sex.
Speaker 4 (16:44):
At the We're in the house.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
In the basement, so you go down to that dirty,
filthy basement and then had sex, unprotected sex.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
The entire scene at the rental property was pure theater
Joel and the tenant played their parts.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
Well. We asked you, did you do this?
Speaker 1 (17:05):
Did you do this?
Speaker 5 (17:06):
You said no.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Nicole couldn't believe it.
Speaker 2 (17:11):
Joel admitted that he contacted told her she got her
not say anything to me.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
So when Caroline went to the rental property to investigate,
Joel had already told the tenant to keep her mouth shut.
Joel had sex on numerous occasions with the renter, but
stood by while she took all the heat and he
played the victim. It's a stark example of the split
(17:37):
screen reality. The family has Joel on tape, at first
playing the victim and then years later confessing in a cold,
flat tone. Caroline has lived through this dichotomy many times.
After D Day, Joel admitted to lies that were so disturbing.
They weren't just a betrayal of his marriage vows. They
(17:59):
were a trail of his oath as an officer. In
episode one, we mentioned the George Floyd protests of twenty twenty.
Joel told Caroline he was on the front lines as
tensions escalated.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
People were throwing frozen water bottles or rocks, and he
would say, oh, look look at this bruise that popped up.
This was from a frozen water bottle. Years later, he
confessed to me that all of the bruises that I
was massaging or rubbing icy hot on were not a
result of the riots at all. He admitted to me
(18:34):
that he had been having an affair during those hours
with a coworker, and he was having sex with her
at their offices, at the police department, in various areas
of town, or in his police car, and the marks
and bruising were a result of his escapades.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
He accepted her sympathy and care, all the while knowing
that he actually got the bruises from having rough sex
with a coworker. We're going to come back to this coworker,
but before we do, there's one more example of Joel
using work as a cover of how low Joel was
willing to go to avoid the truth.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
January of twenty twenty two, he had a moment where
he was called out to an accident in the middle
of the night, and he said it was a fatal
accident and that he would be out for a little bit.
This was uncommon.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Part of Joel's job duties entailed supervising the major accident unit.
This required him to go out to the scene of
fatal accidents and oversee the investigation. He was called at
all hours day or night.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
I was awake because he needed to get up to
get ready to go out. He said goodbye to me,
give me a kiss goodbye, and I said, you know,
be safe. I'll see you when you get home.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Like many families, they shared an app called Life three sixty,
which helped them keep track of each other's locations.
Speaker 2 (19:59):
Why I couldn't go back to bed, I couldn't fall asleep,
and so I'm sitting there kind of scrolling through social media,
and then I see from one of the news sites
that the accident that he was called out to had
actually been cleaned up an hour hour and a half
before that. It was already moved and done. So I
(20:19):
looked at our Life three sixty and I saw him
in just kind of this random location, not too far
from our home. I texted him and I said, hey,
where are you at. He didn't text back, and so
I thought that's strange, because even if he was at
some type of accident or call for service, almost always
within minutes he would text back or you know, do
(20:39):
an auto reply from his watch or something and say,
can't talk right now, But I didn't get anything. So
then I got a little concerned and I called him.
He put me to voicemail immediately, and so I waited
for a little bit, and then I texted him again
and I said, Hey, I'm a little worried about you.
And then he texted me back and said, I'm at
(21:01):
a second accident scene. I'm headed to the hospital right
now to help. I'll be home in a little bit.
And so as he's saying this, I'm literally watching the
phone where I can see him speeding to our house.
He's not at another accident, he's not at the hospital,
He's coming from somewhere. And so when he got home,
(21:24):
I said, are you lying to me? And he said,
what are you talking about?
Speaker 1 (21:28):
His location on the app didn't match what he told her.
He was saying one thing and she was seeing another.
Joel blamed the technology.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
That must be a cell phone tower pinging wrong. I
was at the hospital. Oh my god, do you think
I want to be out in the middle of the
night any longer than I have to be? And so
he just kept saying this to me to the point
where I started feeling terrible. I felt guilty for questioning him.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
It's hard to look back on those moments, because when
you love someone and believe in their love for you,
you accept answers you believe.
Speaker 2 (22:10):
After we learned about his true colors and what he
was really doing, I asked him about that night and
he said, yeah, I had met someone on the internet
and we arranged to meet at an exit close to
the Air Force Academy and that's where I was at,
and you caught me.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
The data didn't lie, Joel did. This punctured Caroline's perception
of her husband. She used to see him as a
hero to their community. Now she sees him as nothing
but a liar. As for that coworker, Joel confessed to
having sex with the one he actually got the bruises from.
(22:50):
Caroline found her number and texted her, and to her surprise,
she responded. Caroline was able to make contact with the
(23:21):
woman that Joel had an affair with at CSPD via text,
and she shared those texts with us.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
And so I wrote, Hi, this is Caroline Kern, the
wife of whose husband you've been fucking. I look forward
to discussing your affair that you started and conducted during work.
Hours with internal affairs investigators.
Speaker 1 (23:40):
Caroline wanted the CSPD to know that this affair was
going on during work hours on the taxpayer's dime. His
former mistress responded.
Speaker 6 (23:51):
No, sorry, I ended what he started because he said
he was leaving you and he was lying to everyone
about himself. That was almost two years ago. Now I
don't know what has happened or why he lost his job,
but I'm not involved, nor have I talked to him
since twenty twenty.
Speaker 7 (24:09):
Ish.
Speaker 6 (24:11):
You should look at getting HIV and HPV tested after
his being involved in all that. I'm really sorry for
whatever has happened, but he is a total lying piece
of shit and you deserve better run.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
The woman may have been really sorry, but when my
producer eventually contacted her, she didn't seem to have much
sympathy for Caroline. What she did say, though, was illuminating.
We recorded our conversation with the woman, and we've distorted
her voice to protect her privacy. Oh yeah, she won't
let this go.
Speaker 7 (24:49):
We'll see.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
She told us what she thought she knew about Caroline.
Speaker 7 (24:54):
Everybody seems to know Caroline and know what like. Everybody
says that she's kind of a problem. And I'm not
sure what that means. I'm wondering how much of a
background you've done on her, because from what I understand,
it wasn't and this is not coming from him. From
(25:15):
what I understand is that you know, she was very
controlling and not nice and something with some other family members.
Shouldn't let him talk to his mom or something like that.
Speaker 1 (25:35):
This description went against everything we've heard about Caroline from
her friends and family, and it helped us put together
another piece of the puzzle how Joel kept his double
life secret. You see, Colorado Springs isn't that big. One
way to keep anyone from telling Caroline the truth was
to paint her as the problem, and it seems like
(25:56):
Joel did exactly that. Did you ever meet his wife? No,
this coworker turned mistress wasn't the only one who heard
similar things about Caroline at the department. It seemed that
everyone at CSPD knew Joel's wife was kind of a problem.
(26:17):
Here's a former CSPD officer we're calling Dan.
Speaker 8 (26:21):
Other officers I think that were much closer to him
socially would always make some comments about like how maybe
he had to get permission to just do anything with
anyone else from her before he could do that. And
you know, she kind of wore the pants in the house.
That seemed to me to be somewhat common knowledge in
(26:43):
the department.
Speaker 1 (26:44):
Joel's coworker was under the impression that he was leaving
Caroline because that's what he told her. He lied to Caroline,
and he lied to his mistress, and eventually she figured
it out. Previously, I told you about Joel having a
mental health episode. He and Caroline were attending their son's
high school sporting event. It should have been a fun
(27:05):
time out, but Joel was distracted.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
He became extremely withdrawn and very agitated. And so this
is about twenty nineteen, now fast forward, after our life
blew up. He actually admitted to me why he was
desponded and behaving the way he was. It was because
he had broken up with him. It wasn't anything to
(27:29):
do with our son and driving and the concern or
anything like that.
Speaker 1 (27:34):
The woman who texted Caroline saying I ended what he
started had ended their relationship. Within a year of the affair,
he planned an elaborate bow renewal. He stood before family
and friends and professed his love for his wife.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
First time around, we did church bows. This time around,
we're going to speak from the heart. And so we're
before our friends and family out in this beautiful setting
on the beach, and when he gets ready to start
his vows, he gets down on one knee and he says,
you know, over twenty years ago I impulsively asked you
(28:15):
to marry me, and this time I want to do
it right. Would you marry me all over again? And
has this new, big, beautiful ring. And it was just
such a shock and the surprise. I mean, I felt
like life was perfect.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
On the day of his revelations. What was once a cherished,
loving memory was destroyed. Here's their son.
Speaker 4 (28:42):
That was their firsthand and I witnessed the whole val
renewal ceremony. But I don't think you can look at
his actions now and say there could be any truth
in it. Maybe he thought there was truth, but and
his actions absolutely not. It's just you feel betrayal and
(29:08):
just kind of a phoniness to it. And so to me,
there's no point in even thinking back on it, because
it was rooted in a lie.
Speaker 1 (29:22):
After April eleventh, as Caroline was going through Joel's emails,
she found confirmation he had been sexting with someone just
eight days after the vow renewal. It was with a
person he'd met online. The person was asking for nudes. Instead,
Joel sent them a selfie. In it, he's staring at
the camera, lying back on the family couch. Caroline was
(29:44):
so disturbed at the thought of their home being in
Joel's pictures that she sold all the furniture in their
living room. In the months before Joel was placed on leave,
he could see the writing on the wall. He knew
for months that he was being investigated work, but he
kept that to himself. While Caroline was reflecting on her
(30:05):
dual realities, she told us about an experience that happened
just months before d Day. We weren't sure what to
make of it, but it affected her so deeply. We
wanted you to hear what happened.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
In November of twenty twenty one, our daughter had left
for school for something very early in the morning. Joel
had told me that he too was going to go
into work early that day and that he'd semulater that night.
I'm still in bed. He comes and kisses me goodbye
and tells me to have a great day. And I
(30:40):
was asleep still, and when I woke up, I woke
up just kind of feeling this heaviness on my chest.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
It was hard to breathe. She was disoriented, Their daughter
was already at school. Caroline was alone in the house.
Speaker 2 (31:00):
Like it was difficult to take a deep breath in,
and my eyes were burning, and I heard this rumbling sound.
Where is that coming from? Is that his truck? Is
that his truck rumbling?
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Caroline's bedroom is on the first floor, just down the
hallway from the garage.
Speaker 2 (31:18):
And so I got up and the auxiliary door to
our garage.
Speaker 5 (31:23):
Was just a little open, and when I opened it,
it was like a rush of fire almost hit my face,
just kind of this warmth just hit me. The truck
had been left running in our garage.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
I was panicked and didn't know what to do, and
so I hit the garage open, and I went out
to the driveway and I'm kind of walking around trying
to get my sense about me, and I'm trying to
take a big deep breath in, and uh, you know,
I'm finally able to gather my bearings and I go
over to open his truck to shut the engine off,
(31:59):
and I can't open it's locked.
Speaker 1 (32:01):
So she ran back into the house to get the
spare key.
Speaker 2 (32:04):
We have a key ring holder where we put all
our keys. His police car was gone, and our daughters
were gone, but his truck keys were hanging there, and
so I got the truck keys down I was able
to open the truck. I opened the truck and I
turn off the engine, and I'm sitting there for a second,
and I'm like, what the heck just happened.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
She had no idea how long the exhaust from Joel's
truck had been seeping into the house. Caroline called Joel,
flustered and upset.
Speaker 2 (32:37):
I said, you left the truck running with the garage
door close and the door between the garage and the
house just a little open. And he said I did.
And I said, yeah, you did. And he was like, well,
there's no way I did that. And I said, how
would that happen? Then then he started saying that his
truck keys must have been in his pocket and he
(32:58):
must have accidentally hit the off start when he was
pulling away in his cop car in the morning. I said,
there's no way you could have done that. Both sets
of truck keys are hanging on the keyring, and so
we went back and forth, and he had me convinced
that it had to be a manufacturer defect or something
something happened.
Speaker 1 (33:17):
If it was a defect, it was one that could
have lethal consequences. They never figured out how the car started.
Caroline now wonders if she had really been safe in
her home. That brings us to Sunday, April tenth, twenty
twenty two. It was the day before their lives would
(33:37):
change forever. Little did Caroline know the two worlds she
didn't realize she was living were about to converge. During
this time. One constant for Caroline and the kids had
been their faith. Here's Nicole, I.
Speaker 3 (33:53):
Have my own little path I suppose with my religion,
and so I was going to Mass pretty frequently before that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
This is something that the kids might did together. He
never went. He had always been a proclaimed atheist. And
as our daughter and I are getting ready, he emerges
and says he's going.
Speaker 1 (34:15):
With us again. This was Sunday, April tenth, when Joel
suddenly showed interest in going to church that day. Nicole
was excited and.
Speaker 2 (34:25):
Our daughter said, Daddy, are you serious, You're really going
to go? To church with us, and he said, yes,
I want to go with you guys. I want to
be with you guys. And I think that maybe it's
time I give church a chance.
Speaker 3 (34:37):
I thought like, maybe this is the beginning of something
new or something. I was really happy that he wanted
to have family time.
Speaker 1 (34:47):
The family thought Joel may have been reconsidering his relationship
with religion, but in reality, his secrets were teetering on
the edge of exposure. Cole reflects on that day. Now
she sees Joel's desire to go to church in a
completely different light.
Speaker 3 (35:06):
Looking back on it. Maybe it was his last resorts,
a call upon the Big Man.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
I suppose call it a hail Mary. Or maybe Joel
wanted to remind the family about the virtue of forgiveness.
But at the time it felt like a lovely family.
Speaker 2 (35:26):
Sunday, we went to breakfast together after church, and I
still have silly pictures we took at the coffee shop
we were at. We even went to Costco together. We
just had this really good day together and I just
remember thinking to myself how thankful I was that Joel
was wanting to be healthy, and that maybe some of
(35:48):
these changes that felt scary, were about ready to be
just really positive things for him.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
It was the last good day they'd ever have as
a family. Joel's deception didn't just destroy his career, his marriage,
or his family. They destroyed Caroline's memory of her entire
adult life. Even the best memories, like the birth of
her first child, are tainted forever. No memory is sacred,
(36:18):
you know, At.
Speaker 2 (36:19):
Random, we'll see a picture and it's like, oh, gosh,
there we were at Disney World together, and then my
brain goes too, God, that was such a great trip.
But what were you doing when we weren't looking.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
On the next episode of Betrayal, we'll take you inside
CSPD Internal Affairs on the day Joel's double life finally
caught up with him.
Speaker 7 (36:49):
The slip up proves that you're unable to keep track
of all your lives, and quite frankly, I question how
many other women are out there that may bring forward
allegations in the future.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
The department finally realizes what they've got in Lieutenant Joel Kern,
But how do you catch a master manipulator and a
lie Thank you for listening to Betrayal Season four. If
you would like to reach out to the Betrayal team.
Email us at Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. That's
Betrayal Pod at gmail dot com. Also, please be sure
(37:23):
to follow us on Instagram at Betrayal Pod and me
Andrea H. Gunning for all Betrayal content, news and updates.
One way to support the series is by subscribing to
our show on Apple Podcasts. Please rate and review Betrayal
five star reviews help us know you appreciate what we do.
Betrayal is a production of Glass Podcasts, a division of
(37:44):
Glass Entertainment Group, in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. The show
is executive produced by Nancy Glass and Jennifer Fason. Betrayal
is hosted and produced by me Andrea Gunning, written and
produced by Kerrie Hartman, also produced by Ben Fetterman. Our
associate producers are Kaitlyn Golden and Kristin Melcury. Our iHeart
(38:04):
team is Ali Perry and Jessica Crincheck. Story editing by
Monique Leboard, Audio editing and mixing by Matt Alvecchio, editing
by Tanner Robbins. Special thanks to voice actors Kitlin Golden
and Rocky All, and special thanks to Caroline and her family.
Betrayal's theme is composed by Oliver Baines. Music library provided
(38:26):
by my Music and For more podcasts from iHeart, visit
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Host
Andrea Gunning
Popular Podcasts
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.