October 15, 2025 • 53 mins
Heyo! Here's one of our favorites from this season. Eric sits down with a viral TikTok legend The Queen of Melrose aka Cosmo Lombino alongside his high school friend, Megan. They talk about stories of living in New York City, gruesome fisting accidents, being on the show COPS, and having ties with The Mob. This episode is the blueprint of Bombing in every single of the way, plus poppers are involved.
Tell us your most cringeworthy bombs! Call 716-BOMBING (716-266-2464) and leave a voicemail.
For all things Eric Andre and Bombing follow @ericfuckingandre (Instagram) and @ericandre (TikTok).
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Let's have y'all. It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing,
the podcast where I talk to comedians, artists and other
interesting people about the worst bombs of their careers. On
today's episodes, we have none other than the Queen of
Melrose aka Cosmo Lombino, an absolute legend. You recognize Cosmo's
voice the second.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
You hear it.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
She's a fashion designer with a crazy life story and
we get into it about everything growing up with family,
ties to the mob, low points with drugs in sobriety,
fisting accidents, styling celebrities, and the time she got fusted
on cops. If you're in La you gotta check out
her stores on Melrose Avenue in Joy.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Eric Andre. The
podcast is All Bombing, and I am here with the
Queen of Melrose aka Cosmo Lombino. Legend. She does it
all fashion runway. She used to get cracked in the
projects Queen's Bridge, The Queen's Bridge she was part of,
(01:08):
the she was part of the loof sansa height story.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Loofellas, you did your homework.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So tell us a little bit about your backstory. You're
from the Bronx Manhattan.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Where I'm from Harlem.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
East's from Harlem West Harlem really one twelve between Broadway
and Amsterdam one hundred and sixteen and Spanish Arlem Spanish Harlem.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So it was like West Side story.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
For you, west Side Storry. They made The Godfather and
my grandmother's apartment.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You're making a joker.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
No, I kid you not.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You're Italian or Porto Ricans Italian, but.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You knew weakened by injection by beef In Jackson. You
look like you have a little Puerto Rican I know,
I get that a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
But my dad was from Haiti. My mom's a Jew
from Harlem.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So that gives a Puerto Rican child. Yeah, yeah, it
was bent like a hockey steak though, like a little
we like that. You want to do poppers or do
you know what what was the last time you did poppers?
Because you've been sober for eight years?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Eight years?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
What was the rock bottom? When did you stop doing drugs?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Poppers? Was eighties and early nights back.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So these kids, these gen Z kids, they're bringing everything back.
Pop is back, poppers is back.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
It all comes back, It comes back music, fashion.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yep, and popp is. Did you used to shoot drugs?
I never shot up at but you were the cocaine.
I was coke and booze or what.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was coke?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And then it went to crack and you were just
having to and it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Wasn't cracked though. It was freebase.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Freebase is the high class.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, that's how it was a Richard briarways, Yeah, did
you see Joe Joe j answer? Oh, I loved Jo
so that was his thing. But he went on fire.
He tried to kill him. I don't know. When you
cook the etherther with the cocaine, sometimes it explodes.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Oh yeah, it's dangerous, so I think it exploded. What's
your craziest drug story? What's the most fucked up you
ever been?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Do you want to hear it?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm a you Are you ready though.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm so ready? Then after this story, we're gonna introduce
my high school friend again, because we love you.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I love your friends. I feel like I know them
for years. Yes, okay, drug story, this just came to mind.
I have a million of them. Yes, but okay, so
I'm seventeen. I moved to California.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right because after I lived growing up in Harlem.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
After growing up in Harlem, then I moved to Queens
Long Island City. Okay, you know, which is like Manhattan
right now, it's like beautiful right and then it used
to be yeah, it never used to be. It was
all crack and prostitutes. I loved it. I cried when
they left. Anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
You know that New York you know that was Yeah,
well I got a little taste of it was a
little kid, because my mom would bring me back.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, you're Florida, right, Yeah, tell me some Florida story.
I got you. If there is one, I got you.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh there's plenty. Yeah, okay, kid me.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So I moved. I moved to uh, California. My father
got a job in the Palm restaurant. My mother was
teasing the heir. I like, am Margaret, I'm gonna do
the whole thing for you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Sure. So I moved to California.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And I think I heard about this Jehovah's Witness.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
No. I was Catholic all my life. Then my grandmother
was about Catholic every Sunday in church. What happened was
an astoria Queens. My grandmother had a house. She was
the matriarch of the family. All of a sudden, like
Jehovah's witnesses come to her door. That's the men. The
next thing I know, we're going to fucking Kingdom Hall.
(04:26):
Were Jehovah's witnesses converted her? She converted? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Italian?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So here I am eight years old. You can't be gay.
You can't have a birthday, you can't have a Christmas,
you can't touch yourself, you can't be gay. I said,
fuck you all. I like the Bible says the truth
will set you free. There you go, literally eight years
old and I'm gay and that's the truth. So I
was so defiant from the gay girl. Yeah. But anyway,
(04:53):
and then my mother couldn't be a Jehovah's winness. She
tried to please him. My father was still in the Bronx,
you know what I mean. He was like doing the
Lufthansa thing. Yeah, so it didn't really work out, but
my grandmother did try.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
You know, well, your dad was in the loof Ends
of heist along with Hill.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Like you know Goodfellas. Yeah, so that that Lufthansa heist
in Queens. Yeah, so my father was implicated than that.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That was the biggest heist. But they tried a million.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
They tried to implicate if your money.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
They fucked up the whole family.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
The five fan was crazy. They all ride it on
each other and then after the kind of went, you know,
it wasn't the mob anymore. But that's what my father said,
fuck New York because he was indicted, you know. And
I always had FBI agents in my yard looking at
my father.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
They would follow me to school.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Some of them hot, yeah, you know what. One like
a man in a suit.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
One was hung like a horror horse. I remember he
was uncut. It was like, wow, that's what it looked
like an amazilla. But anyway, that was another thing that
was my That was the Queen's first experience. How was like,
what do I do with this?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
He has the biggest cocks Dominican guys.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I got to stay between the Puerto Ricans and the Dominicans.
I think it's a tie.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Tie, but they're big boys.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
You hung.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Have you ever taken off a guy's pants? It's going
to be a long night.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You know what. Not too long ago?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Really? Yeah, Well, the guy had like a fucking bowling pin.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Or what.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
So anyway, my neighbor says. My neighbor says, I just
moved in my back. Neighbor is hung like a horse
and he's obsessed with you. I'm like, really, give me
his number. So because I just broke up with somebody.
So now you know she's queen and you know she's
queen and soba right, so unavailable. So anyway, he comes
(06:41):
So anyway, he sends me a picture and I'm like, okay.
Then he goes, could I come over? I want to
give you a massage? So I just bought a massage table, right,
So anyway, perfect, He comes over and he takes off
his pants and I'm like, you can landa aircraft on
that thing. This thing was like a dream. I think
(07:04):
it's even like everybody's dreaming when you're straight, gay, whatever.
Everybody wants to play with this thing, right. So anyway,
so I said, your picture does no justice. I says, yeah,
you were big in the picture, but you're like you
know this size small, medium, large, Yeah, and oh my god,
yeah was oh my god. Yeah, you know what I mean.
(07:27):
And that heart's very rare to find that like that
John Holmes Cock, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But that's a tough You're like, it's going to be
a long night.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It wasn't that long, you know what I mean. As
a matter of fact, I just looked at it.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
It's like, you know, threw it over my shoulder, you
know what I mean, A little pre ejaculation occurred. I'm like,
can I thank you very much? Yeah? Because it's like,
when it is that big, what do you really do
with it?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Are you going to hang out with this guy again?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I fell in love. I'm in love. No, I text
him all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, without any further you got to keep those aside yet.
I want to introduce one of my oldest friends, my
bestest friends from high school. We made a pack to
do comedy together when we were twenty years old and
Christina's bedroom. Ladies and gentlemen, you know her from Driver
school Yard. It's Megan Blanchat. Everybody, I'm Magan. Megan is
here for a specific reason because we are super fans.
(08:22):
We became sisters, and we love your content. We're obsessed
with you, and I wouldn't have it any other way
than to be drinking some good wine right here with
Megan and you, and Sonny is here too if she's
feeling there's We just wanted to vibe out with you
because you're our inspiration. Okay, where's the strangest place you've
(08:45):
ever read? Sex?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh? So I didn't finish tell my story?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Shall tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I want to know. I want to go. I don't
want to know crazy sex stuff, crazy drug stuff. Okay,
and then we'll talk about bombing.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Are we still on the M one?
Speaker 3 (08:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
No, no, we're passing that girl. Oh okay, queen, yes, girl, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Anytime you want to go around like we could share it, I.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Feel like I would scare me, like I'd be stressed.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah for a minute, and then you'll be like yeah,
I just said yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Like I see it, I see it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
You got to face your fears. We'll have a freak.
Yeah you have a little freaking.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yes seriously, but not an army like I feel like
that would stress.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
But what's your thing? Like what is a puartter weekend?
Is Italian? Like what you'll like?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Freak?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
Okay, so deep down I have I have a thing
for like guidos, like proper, like like the really cheesy,
like with the the.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Whole Joey, but yeah, we love Joey.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Yeah, like I have a twin.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Brother that love you from Florida. He's like last of
the hot Italians.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Okay, you know, yeah it's the boy.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I'm the girl, so you might have to be my
sister in law.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Okay, okay, Megan, is it married men kind of your freak?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Oh no? Do we go there?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
How dare you beause that's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
She likes a little bit of the danger.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Oh really, Yeah, that's cute and all, but then karma.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Karma, it's awful. No, it's the wrong choice. I hate you.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And what happened to Joey Butterfield coat? Yeah, the lady,
she got a face blown off girl, not a good
idea girl.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
But she likes the danger of it, Like it's like
shoplifting it like yeah, you don't need to do it,
but yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
And also on that topic, I got caught for shoplifting
when I was like fourteen from jaz Benny.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
From jay z Benny. I wasn't allowed to go in
for a year. Oh year, I was.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Okay, So you're stealing and you're stealing people's husband, so
it's telling me a lot about you. Okay, stay away
from me, bitch.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Don't do that. Such a bright girl, you have such
a bright future.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That was and she's passed.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That was going to day. Are you over right now?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay Garlington, I was a Now I was bad girl
club too.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Oh yeah, I was real crazy. Okay, very easy?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Did you did you?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I did it all?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Did you get somebody?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I'm one? I'm on?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Can he tells the story?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So I lowe is the story of the most high
you've ever been? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Which one you want first?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I want to know what like rock bottom eyes a
com story, copy story.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So let's just do the story when it came out,
because you said something about getting high the word what
was the first question?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Well, it was like what happened eight years ago that
got you sober?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh? That was the that's another question. So which one
are we going with?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
What's the most fucked up you've ever been?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Okay, let's do that one first?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What got you sober? And why were you on cops?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Okay? So I moves here and then I'm a hairdresser
some cunning people's hair. So this lady goes, could you
come up in my house in Woodland Hills and my
husband makes movies. His name is a big director whatever.
And I go to this house and it's fucking beautiful.
She goes, but I think my husband's my fiance is gay.
(11:49):
She goes, and I want you to tell me because
you're gay, So come and do my hair. So I
go in the house, right beautiful, and then he's on
the bed right literally, okay, literally fisting himself. No, girl,
he had Arrah. He was Ammy Dex drugs. It's like
(12:11):
his leg was up here. So I'm in there, going
Welcome to LA, because I came to LA to get
away from the drugs and the freaking US. Oh no,
it's here. So anyway, I'm like, girl, what is he doing?
So she takes out at April. I can't wait. He
did on the bed, you know, as long as I'm
like doing April, you know, I'm obsessed. So I do
(12:32):
a hair and everything. So he calls her over and
he goes, honey, show Cosmo what we do. Literally new
to La, and I thought I'd seen it all. So
she has like little little little tiny fist and wrist
and she looked like sweet Polly from Underdog, you know,
what I mean, she had like a really big nose,
you know, no discrimation of big noses.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
That was usually they you know, Jewish, you're Italian.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
There we go.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
You know, I'm happy with my nose.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
And you'll probably proportioned. But anyway, so what happened was
she's like, babe, let's show Cosmo what we do. So
I'm cutting a hair or whatever, and then she goes Cosmo. Wait,
so they want to have this party with me. I'm sixteen, right,
seventeen girl talk about grooming, okay, and they were like
(13:22):
forty years old, right the eighties or what this is
the eighties, nineteen seventy nine, nineteen eighty when I first
moved here.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So cocaine was flowing April everywhere, and I was already addictive.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Okay, because I'm doing this. I'm from from New York,
from being from Freebase.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
And all that.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
With the mob, that's another story, you know, the ones
that're free based, you know. So she goes to the
bed and she puts Gel on her hand and she's
fisting him. My first fucking, weird, old, motherfucking experience. So anyway,
she's fisting.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Him and you're just standing there watching girl, I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Like, just give me more coke. I can watch this all.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Day, are you like?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I didn't want to interact, girl, something like I will
suck a dick and a hearty queen. When it comes
to ship like that, I was like, wow, are they
making it fascinated? They were looking right at me. So
she's fisting him and he's getting aggravated. He goes, no,
you're not doing it right. You're not doing it right.
(14:21):
Your hand is so small. You got to go harder,
hard or harder. He goes, Cosmo, your turn. So there's
the coke, right, I wouldn't do anything. I'm like, sure,
why not? I would talk about this fucking plant for
five hours, you know what I mean? So my turn.
So she goes drawing this glove, honey. So I drew
(14:44):
on the glove and I put my hand in the
jew and there's this gorgeous man, gorgeous in the bed,
this producer. Yeah, and and then I go and I'm
like this, and he's psychotic, and he's getting aggravated with her,
like get the fuck away for me. Your hand is
just small and me He's like, oh wow, yeah, he's
(15:06):
loving it right like that, So all of a sudden,
I had a pinky ring on something like you had
on it, you know, because we love golds of New York, right,
So I had the little, you know, Italian nugget pinky
ring and I'm doing this and as I'm doing it,
I feel a rupture.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
No, what do you mean a rupture?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
A rupture? My ring and his asshole it busted something
of it in him horror movie.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So this will blood.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Now, this is one from doing a haircut to you know,
partying some cocaine cut to the terrified blood.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
In fact, terrify A part three. Yeah, blood et.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I'm like, oh my god. So I fucking take my
hand out and there's like literally blood on it, and
I'm like, oh my god. She's like, oh I got it.
Was like a horror He goes, don't trip, don't trip.
I got this. It happened to me before. And I'm like,
I need more coke, you know, anywhere. So he goes
(16:06):
in the bathtub and I'm like, girl, not only is
he I think he's gay, but I think he's fucking degenerate. Girl,
Like you know what I mean, You're gonna I don't
know about I would think twice about marrying this guy
because she was engaged to him. So she's crying. It's
just a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I'm like, why why the queen from Queens, why why?
Oh my God, give me some more. And so he
comes out of the bathroom. He goes, I'm fine, and
I go to the bathroom and I see all the
blood in the tub, right, maybe even a few veins
and ship, Oh yeah, what thought pinky ring? You know
(16:44):
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Did you lose the pinky ring in the buttle?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
No, no, I still I still have it. I still
have it. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, okay. So anyway,
that's what happened. So he goes back in the bed, right,
takes out more coke. He goes, let's do it again. Whoa.
So that was my first experience in La, you know,
(17:11):
and I heard they're freaky here, like they take you
home into jacuzzi and you know, you come your sister,
your mother, your dog to bring it on. But never that.
So that was like the most terrifying experience to La. Okay,
so that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, yeah, pretty good.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Yeah yeah with a rendre.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
With are okay, so you got some more questions, what
happened eight years ago that you stopped doing drugs?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Okay, so eight years ago? Okay, last time you got high? Okay,
so eight years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Twenty what listen?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It was the eight Uh it was Friday the thirteenth,
Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Before the election before Trump gets them.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, okay, Friday thirteenth. Are you literally going to do that?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I don't think so, Okay, I can only do it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We all do that. You're gonna see, you're gonna go.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I'll do it if you do it, you do it first.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, I'll do it.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
If you do first. Sunday does the first.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I call my sponsor. Yeah, that's she's on speed sile anyway,
as long as we're not fisting, we're fine.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Well, no time, So eight years ago, it's twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So you know, it was getting like I try to
get sober. Was the relapse queen? Like bad things were happening.
I'm up for nine.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Days doing blow and then pillowing blow.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
No pills, just vodka and blow and free base, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
The free Base.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Are you sad and crying?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Serahicle suicidal like drug addicts like hope to die drug daddech.
I wouldn't die. I just kept on coming back girl,
like Tina Turner and Share. I just kept on coming
fucking back girl. Yeah yeah, So I was like yeah,
so anyway, and everybody in AA was like, you know,
she keeps on God bless her, she keeps on coming back.
(19:21):
The pitch is forty nine years old and she's still
out there doing fucking crack with you know, downtown behind
a dumpster bitch. And then I had always had clothing
stores too, so I had to go to work. But
I had this crazy work ethic that I would always
go to work, and then I.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Would have to if you're in like one hour sleep.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
You know what. When I used to work for these
Israelis that's who got me started, and they're like used
to sleep, I wake you and they bring me like
a fucking falafel, you know what I mean. They'd open
my windows, you know what I mean. Because I made
so much money for them, you know what I mean.
So they they were like, you know, okay, you to
(19:57):
leave me two o'clock and I wake you up to o'clock.
I have to know, that's when I get busy. So
I go back to work and they're like push, push,
you know what I mean. So they taught me how
to do the shmata business. Really, that's why I have
a store forty years today, you know what I mean,
because they really taught me.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
So I to your store. I would love for you
to come to Can we all do a field trip there?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
I would love to go today.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Where is the store? Where is it?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It's on Melros and Fuller, and then I have another
one on Melros and Stanley by Starbucks. And then I
have another one called shoehor La.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
What are the first two golds? Can you shout them out?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
For audio? So there's Cosmo's Glam.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Squad, Yeah, Squad that's on Fuller okay, and then I
have Cosmo and Zanata.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah. So that's a label. I had to pull on
a business partner. That's who was my sponsor in AA boy,
who helped me get sober. Okay, So I trust him
so much. I mean, I'm a partner, you know, because
the store is like it's a monster to run and
I can't really do it all by myself. So I
pulled him in. So we did a label.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Even when you were on vodka and you're doing club.
You're still working hard. Yeah, so still work. So you're
really not sleeping. You're you're drinking, you're doing your freebasing coke.
You're kind of half sleeping when the Israelis talk you
into it, then you get up. You're working your ass off,
your opening stores. It was he you're han't falling out
with business partners. Yeah, it's a lot of stress. It
(21:16):
was so stress.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It was a lot. So you hit a wall, you know,
I have to go to the hospital. And it was
like really bad because they always say, you know, you
keep on using, it's gonna get worse, never better, right,
And it was always getting worse. Bad things happened, my
person getting stolen, whatever. I have to fight gangsters, you know.
I'm downtown in a hotel room, you know, with these
fucking eighteenth Street and they will put the mattresses no really.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yea, And they would put the.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Paranoia and they will put the mattresses on the the
the windows and a gun on the table, you know
what I mean. And I'd be partying with them, like
you know, it's like that, it's like it's time, like,
but I would get so high, I'd be like, just
put your dick away, we want the teck, just give
me all your coke. And they didn't like that, so
(22:04):
I had to jump out a few windows, you know
what I mean, because it was dangerous down there. I
don't know if you heard themok out this park.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, so you know it's still living Echo Park. It's
not far right, so you know, let's sketchy.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
We got this park. It's like it's legendary for like
people hanging out there and not coming home. And then
in that lake there was like bodies they would drain
the lake. There would be cork carcasses in that lake
from like and I loved it. I was in the
middle of it all. I'm like, oh my god, I'm
still Oh how's my hair?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
But I would come home just like fucked up girl,
like and you know, thank god, there was like a
kind of an angel on my shoulder. But I would
always come home unscathed. And they would actually cut people's
throats down there. But they love me. They're like, we
call it. We're going to call you Hollywood. We love
hanging out with you. Hollywood. Yeah, Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
So when you get out of the hospital, do you
go right into AA was it where you're just like.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I've been going to AA from many.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Oh you were really yeah, but this is the longest
you've been sober. Yeah, So what was what? What was
about this that you were I was done? Like I
knew I was done, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I drank all your drinks. You did it all you
did it. I did it behind dumpsters. I did it
Beverly Hills movie.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Never did acid.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I did acid yet when I was younger, I put
a little snoopy on my tongue.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I did some locker room that was the eighties. That
was fun because you know, in the beginning, it's fun, Yeah,
and then it's fun with problems. Yeah, and then it's
fun with more problems. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
How long was it that you knew that you had
to stop, like that you were struggling.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I was dancing with the double for many years, like
the last fifteen years of my addiction, Like I knew
I had to stop. Years stop. I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Do you think it comes from inside, like a depression
or something like that. No, you know that.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I think it's a gene.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Your parents were.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
My father was and my mother was alcohol. It's my
grandparents too. Yeah, it's in you, so, I think. But
then there's also people with white pick of fences. You
know that their parents are not alcoholic, and they become
like Crystal met fucking degenerates.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
You have abandoned the issues.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I think we all do. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even though I had a twin in the same sack
with me.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You know you had a twin.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I have an identical twin, Joey set. You know, he's
the boy. I'm the girl.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
So Joey straight, Joey straight. There's a straight you identical.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
That I may end up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
You know, I got to see.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Joe doesn't you give him a little locker room? But no,
Joey straight. He's one of the last Italians in New York.
He was my twin brother, so he was like my
protector to in New York growing up. He had your
back because he played hockey and he was.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Going to be and we're kids picking on you. You know
what it's like. I became the bully. I became the
bullying dad picking on you because you're gay.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Or now my father okay, so he told me I
got that one beating when I was younger.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I'll be honest, did you come out out to him
or did you was never in you? You were singing
shoun you were you were like course Line Eliza and
l VHS's and they knew right away.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I was three years old. I was in love with
Donny Osmond and the Monkeys. Who was the Monkeys Davy Jones?
So I didn't know what gay was. I didn't know,
but I told my mother I'm going to marry Donny Osmon,
and here I am. I had a towel on my
head and our heels. They couldn't stop me. So they like,
when did you come out? Cosmo? I was never in right,
(25:48):
like I came strumming up, you know. But my father
was in the mob. So one day, my older brother's
playing basketball, so he's with all of his friends in Harlem, right,
so he's mortified that I'm gay, my older brother, you
know what I mean. My father was okay with it
because he knew I was going to be like somewhat
successful after the drug addiction, of course. But so I'm
(26:10):
in the park and I'm like Tommy, and I'm running
like a girl because I always wanted to run like this,
you know, like my aunts, my mother's sisters. I thought it.
So I thought it was normal to run like this.
So anyway, Tommy comes home from playing basketball. He goes, Dad,
Cosmo embarrassed me on purpose. He acts like a fag
on purpose. I didn't act like a fag on purpose.
(26:31):
That's how I was, you know what I mean. I'm like, Tommy,
I was so happy, you know, it's being in the
park and I thought it was perfectly normal. So he goes,
how dare you embarrass your brother? So I got that
one beating like maybe he's not going to be gay anymore,
you know what I mean. But I came out of
the fucking the beating like you know, you know what
(26:52):
I mean, or.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Doing a runway more gay.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So then my father told me. He goes, I work
with a lot of gay people. I'm in the club scene.
He goes, I just don't want this life for you
because I think you're.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Going to be unhappy.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
He goes, and I love you very much. So, long
story short, I became a hairdresser. I was the first
one to open my own business. So before he died,
he wanted me by his bed. So he always loved
and supported me.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's great because it doesn't always work out that way. Yeah,
it doesn't a lot of people get rejected by their
There's so many tough Italian You're right, right, but even
in the South people getting thrown out.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Like if you see the all around the world, you
see mostly homeless gay people, you know in the streets,
it's because they were their parents didn't support them. So
I blamed the parents, I really do. That's why I
wish some people would come out, like big celebrities like
you know who and.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
You know who?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Donald Trump is gay. They're saying, I like.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Trying this upside down, trying to upside down. We all
need anal bleaching. I agree.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I've said that a million times.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
With Aridre with a recdre.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Now, I want to know why are you on cops.
That's a bit of a bomb and I love that
you ever selling a perfume called my cunt. That's what
we have to put this image up on the fucking
he's serving. You're selling a signature cent called my cunt.
You know what? It's pretty and soft?
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Wow? Why you guys get wow? I sold out?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yees?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I need I need something?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
You want to smell Cosmos cut?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I want to smell Cosmo cuns. I never thought I did.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Now I do.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I always know.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I always knew I was on.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
The fence, but now I'm now I'm no longer of fence.
I'm okay, So cops, we got to talk about why
are you on cops?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
So I'm in LA. This is when I first come
to l A again, and I'm here for a few years,
and I go, let me go buy some drugs. So
I wear like this Adida sweatsuit and my twin brother
and a baseball hat. And I don't look like this
at all. I look like my twin brother, right, gonna
go bad neighborhood. So anyway, I'm a cat and Santa
(29:19):
Monica Boulevard there was the drug spot there, so there
I go. I'm buying drugs and then all of a
sudden they're like, you're on cops. And I turn around, right,
and it's me these two guys ready to go and
get our freak on and have fun. And I have
the drugs in my hand and I turn around and
the first year of cops in my face and twitch.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Fee for me.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Don't move, Okay?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
All right?
Speaker 6 (29:53):
Johnson from New York, how are you been out here?
You got your could you know anything shop or anything?
I'm gonna have myself on them. Well, I'm gonna cut
my cell phone and poke myself, you know. Okay, you
have identification or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
No idea.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I just poked down here.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But I just got a job on no road.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Did you see? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Where you live at? I'm staying with my mom at
w Hill. You're done over a new part of the neighborhood.
I was looking for my guy. Won't you to my favorite?
Once you step back?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Watch still, okay, and step one over here for me.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Okay, stand next to the wall here. And they're like,
we're gonna go see if you have a warrant, you know,
and then if you sign this release, we'll let you go.
So I had all cocaine crack in my mouth and
they're asking me questions and I'm praying that one don't
fall out right.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Right?
Speaker 5 (30:47):
So anyway, So do they like arrest you, put you
in the car, and then have you sign a release.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And so they said, if you signed this release to
show your face on cops, we're gonna let you go
because I had a warrant. So otherwise they would have
set me in. I would have signed anything to go
smoke my coke and get away from them, right so,
and I'm like, it's not a thing, because who heard
of Cops? Nobody heard of A few weeks later, they're
(31:13):
calling me from New York because it's three hours difference there,
and they're like, I hear Cosmo in my living room.
I go, look at the TV. Cosmo's on Cops.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
So they just kept on playing that episode. It was
the first year of Cops, but till this day. You know,
the repeats, what you gonna do when they come for you?
They keep on playing that fucking episode. Oh my god,
there's nothing I could do about it. I signed my
cunts away.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I absolutely that I was on to catch a predator.
I thought that those twelve year old girls won in
Mike's hard lemonade, and I was wrong.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I always feel bad for the guy.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I feel a little bit better.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I always wantphile always.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I don't feel bad for pedophiles in general.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But on the show, so we're kind of like, well,
not give.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Him a breaker.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I'm like Georgia side.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
A little bit.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
You know, he's all big stuff. Because the other side
of it is the Chris Hansen Nazi guy and then
this fascistic swat team that comes in, You're like, I
don't really like a fascistic swat team either, like police
power destroying. Yeah for lower class guy, that feels weird too,
But I can't fuck kids, I got it. Yeah, there's
(32:30):
no way.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
My heart always goes out to the guys on that.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
It's overkilled, like yeah, devastating. Yeah that's kind of how
I was, you know. So yeah that's what happens, you know.
And these fucking shows they set you up. You know
what celebrities have you worked with? So I work with
and Sank back in the day. I made them the
first outfits they have a performed. Really, they came in
(32:57):
with them.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
You need your own museum.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Remember the manager that they fired, Yeah, the freak. Yeah,
So he came in with them and they wanted my
outfits and he didn't want to pay for them because
they were kind of pricey. So I had like Nikki
six in my outfits back in the day.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
You know, we did Motley Crue.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I did Motley Crue.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Now, all your connections through your dad's restaurant, how did
you know so into the pipeline of it's celebrity in
l A.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Just opening a store in Melrose, Ye opening and you
have good taste and I have them.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
You'll see you made things well and you have good taste.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah. So the word was out. There was a big bus.
There's this queen on Melrose.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And your charisma, you know, and you personable.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, so there was a vibe.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
You know, I think you should run for mayor of
Los Angeles to do it. I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
You know, I just got into proclamation. Did you hear
about that?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
What is that? Like the emancipation proclaim? It's Queen of
Melrose day or so?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Now the mayor of West Hollywood gave me a proclamation
like the Keys to the city a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
What is it? Unlock?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You know, it's just like basically maybe a free gym
membership at the new gym.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Why don't you run for mayor or something?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Run for something?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
You never know something city council.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Never know what's going to happen. I mean, like I
went on the internet to sell address and here I
am getting like sitting with you right now in your
podcast super Fans. They just flew me. They just slew
me to New York to do a huge brand deal
for boys smell so it's a candle. Luxury canoys. Smell
boys smell google it luxury candles. Right, they have a
(34:40):
locker room candle. Yes, and they have like a like
smelly nuts candle and all that. Anyway, Jesus, So they
flew me there for like three days, and I'm going
to be on the billboard Christmas, on the digital billboard,
like pinch me, pinch me, you deserve it. She went
(35:02):
from Burns said, come on, so it's a moment. That's
why I cried a little when you said something good,
because it really is a pinch me moment. I never
thought this was happening, Like you're so bad leg really
behind a jumpster, like down you're a star.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
It's so charismatic and likable and down to earth that
easy to work with.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Come on, have you ever eaten ass?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I don't eat ass anymore because this guy's dick was
so big and he was so like impossible.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
What is it about the ass that makes you know?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
It was really hard? Why not.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Down there?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Help yourself, help yourself to the go down. Isn't it
amazing that it's the best feeling.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
She's a bit of a freak.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Yeah, let's move forward.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Let's I want to change it. So joke, let's change this.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
It's about you. This is your show.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Okay, okay, what's the worst gig you ever had? What's
the biggest bomb? Bomb at a fashion show or a
storf went under because you had a shady business partner,
or some celebrity fucking lashed out at you because you
fucked something up. So you guys, the biggest bomb?
Speaker 2 (36:16):
You guys know all for one? They sing that song,
I swear that's my rio profile song.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
We can't afford this part of the body.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
And give me those poppers.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I want to stick them on my whole right now.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So anyway, you're working for them.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So I did their tuxedos for the Miss America pageant
and look New Jersey.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You got some high steaks gigs.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
I did a lot of pressure. I did a lot
of good.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
It's more pressure than people think. It's fun, but it's stress.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Yes, the Queen was like, yeah, yeah, but I really
love that.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
A little bit about that. So but I really love
what I did, and that's what I came here for.
I came here to cut hair. But I cut somebody's
ear low bof and I when it was high on crack.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
So that's wait, we're going to take a couple of stories.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
So my father was all hooked up, so he carried
the lead on that one. He had me and he goes,
when you come out here, I'm going to put you
in the salon. I'm telling you, Sarah Fawcet Liz tell
her you're going to be hooked up. This is when
they get their hairds on its tailor and Sunst Boulevard.
So I come out here, I go to somebody's house.
So she wants a bob can you I'm so partying.
(37:50):
I'm wired right?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Can you tell us who it is?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Slaps? Thank god?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Barbara streisup.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
This was She's not a celebrity, but she was beautiful girl,
you know, and until your mutilated party girl. So her
hair was so thick and I'm like, girl, you have
thick hair. Girl cracked out, Why is it that dick?
So I go cut it in the mirror. She's crying
and I'm like, why are you crying's saying cut my ear?
(38:20):
Oh you come in so anyone I went, no, I did,
there's no blood and it was just such a clean cut.
And then when I went like this, like blood came out.
I was like, oh my god, that's my career as
a hairdresser. Like I was devastating. It was like the
another horror movie, Terrifire Part four.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Did the lobe come off?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
No? No, it was cut. But thank god she didn't
sue me, and sheches she loved her haircut. By the way,
I was like that Bob, I was like, shaved on
one side. I was like, she loved it.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's a mombb. She did have to get stitches. Th oh,
but we're still friends to this day. So what's the
worst bomb gig? The worst gig you've had? You're all
for one, a swear you're putting the tuxedos on them
by the Moon and this guy, and then what happened
the tuxedos were they.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Were asking Miss America and New Jersey and I made
them these beautiful car wash tuxedos. Right, this is the
first big gig I got. It was all for one. Yeah,
and then after so you're nervous, you're it was like
instinct came in and oh boy man, it was a
big break because of them, right, they were so big anyway,
they called me up. They're like Cosmo, the manager calls me.
(39:35):
I don't know what to do, Like all the buttons
are popping off the tuxedo as shit fuck Like mortified,
I'm like, do they have they gotta have a seamstress,
Miss America. I'm like, do they have somebody there?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
They do, they do, they do, but we just want
to tell you. Like it was, they were all kind
of like the buttons were falling off, you know. So
I'm like, when they come home, I'm never gonna make
clothes for them again.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I was so devastated, you know what I mean. And
then were fine, we're good. Could you make these for me?
This little you know? And then I was like after that,
that was when all the boy bands came to me.
Brittany came to me. Uh in sank. They all want
to know who's this queen a Melrose doing all these
fabulous things?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Right?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
What was the worst job you ever had? What was
the biggest asshole boss you ever worked for? Just like
a devastating job, like before hair.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Before hair, I kind of worked in an insurance company,
like I tried to do behind the desk if wanted
blow my mind out and I couldn't do it. I
don't think that's I don't think that's your coup of tea.
So I said, I got to be real creative, real quick.
(40:47):
I got to think of something.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
And then what was it like working for Shaquille O'Neil,
Because that's a big guy. Okay, so did you see
his cock through his bands?
Speaker 2 (40:54):
You know what? He did? Answer the door because I
had to go to Jimmy Kimmel.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Do you think he's got a big fucking hog or.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I don't know, Like I heard some stories he's got
to be a fun and I heard some stories. Well,
if your proportion, your size is twenty four foot, right,
it's gotta be a this guy's fucking nine feet tall.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
It's gotta be like baseball bat. No, you know, I'm
were you were you fitting him and you were kind
of touching around, I know.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
A penis enlargement doctor. He says. The biggest clients hell
he has is the NFL.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Because they got to weirdly have small dicks.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
You know, because it's like the whole myth, like, yeah,
you got to have.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Like you know, but that's I heard.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
That's a lot of men aren't proportions. So I don't know.
And I heard good, good stories about Shack and I heard,
you know, bad stories, So I don't know. But he's
did answer the door in his underwear and he looked
really good, like I was hoping, like I would be
the snack that I was hoping.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Do you think some of those basketball players are on
the down loan and they have like.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I think little boy toys? Ninety percent of them.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Are ninety percent of them have a little boy Yeah, yeah,
I think so little side.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Especially now if you watch YouTube, they're all coming out
it's okay. You know the rappers that say you're a faggie,
you're faggy, you're the first one in the alley. Yeah,
they're taking it at the bottoms.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
All out there.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah you know what I mean. Yeah, so yeah, that's
all there. And what about Big FRIEDA. I love Big FRIEDA.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Big FRIEDA.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
She did my birthday party, she did my show.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
She's my sister. I love Big FRIEDA. Well, she comes
in here. We totally hang out. Yes, we have a
great time. We go to the Shake Shock. She loves
to Shake Shock.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
They have the New Orleans. Yeah, yeah, she's good people. Yeah. Yeah,
and Meghan the Stallion. You got to do doja cat?
Fucking Beyonce. These are big clients. What do you do
for all the Nicki Minaj, Gwen Stefani.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
So Beyonce back in the day, she comes in?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Who was the biggest diva pain in the ass? That
fucking lit you a new one?
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Did you ever have have j Low? Because I heard
she's a fucking pill Madonna? Tell me about Madonnas.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
She's not very nice? Oh really, it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
She was rude to I still love her and Roquel Welch.
I still love them both. You know what, you know,
if you're that up at that echelon.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
I wouldn't expect anything less from the both of them,
because I know they're both fucking divers. But they were
both just really fucking bitches, you know, And I kind
of like them more after that because I'm like, that's
exactly what I expect.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Were they being rude to you directly? Like give me
a little exit?
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Is like, no get away from me. I don't want that.
No pictures to my friend. She comes to Melrose right
and you know what you just got signed? She's Madonna.
She just did borderline and all that. Back in the
days she first she was an instant cun Yeah. Yeah,
and everybody knows about it.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
You know.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
So she came home and mellowed out.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I think after the kids, like and I went to
a concert, and I just seem like a different Madonna.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I think the kids change your perspective.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
They changed little.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
They make you not so worried about the small things.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Deontay Wilder, Okay, so he said you lost him the fight.
This is what so can I give a little So
Deontay Wilder very famous boxer. He fights Tyson Fury, another
one of the best heavyweights in the world. There's two Titans, right,
These guys are gigantic too. Of the best boxers in
the world. Tyson Fury has a little bit better strategy.
He knows defense, he knows how to funck with Deontay.
(44:29):
Deontay just has this mega punch wherever he lands at
your toast. So you do the crazy helmet he wore
for that fight. For their final fight.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I did five fights.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
You did five fights previous, but you did the final fight.
You did the final fight with Tyson Fury. Correct, I
did the fight. So he hires. You doesn't final fight.
You can make up this crazy thing. You know. These
guys have a big, flashy Liberaci entrance. Tyson Fury's coming
out like a king. He looks like the fucking King
of Hearts or whatever it looks.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
But it looked like party city. Yeah, I was cheap.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Doge's wallder was had a much more creative outfit, but
he had a heavy he says he had a heavy helmets.
Like you know what you do. You test a helmet on,
you test, you do a fitting before you do any
any performance. There's tests, there's makeup tests, there's there's hair tests,
and you put on your outfit. There's a fitting and
you see what's comfortable. It's not what you like. You
(45:20):
take pictures of it. You have time to decide. You
don't put it on on the day right before you
go out there and complain about it. So it's a
little bit of bullshit. And the guy lost look so
he puts on the he put and I met him
on an airplane. It is very nice, but he's got the
scariest punch in the world.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
He's a sweetheart, you know what I mean. He's a
big old ham. He loves clothes. He loves fashion. Yeah,
absolutely beautiful. Yeah, he's a runway.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I Lovedionce. He got really close with fiance. But that
particular fight, we planned the outfit like six months before.
He goes that one.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
This is a fight where millions of people worldwide. Wi yeah, yeah,
a million people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
He goes, I want something really menacing for this fight.
He said, well, okay, we're gonna make her for you.
He goes, Money's no objects. We did this fucking amazing outfit.
Did you guys see it? You saw it? It looks
like something out of a back Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So it was voted the best ring walk outfit and
boxing history.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yeah, it looks incredible.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Okay, but the Caesars Palace didn't close the lights. Otherwise
you would have seen laser beams coming out of it.
So they fucked up with the lights. We did a
dress rehearsal the day before. You're so right. He tried
it on in the hotel room with Caesars Palace. We
did everything fit. It wasn't too heavy. He loved the outfit.
(46:34):
The day of the fight, I go in the locker
room and he's in there, and he's not himself. I
think fury got in his head because when you go
to Vegas, you see Fury, Fury, Fury on every hotel.
So you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And that's what Mike Tyson said in his documentary, He goes,
boxing is all psychological. Yeah, he goes, I could beat
up a guy twice my size, and a guy half
my size could beat the shit out of me. It's
all psychological. You have a bad day, you're fucking in
your head. Every fight I w with he's all happy. Look,
you know what I mean. He won a few of
them with me. The outfits were amazing. He didn't look
like party City anymore. His girlfriend Kelly, you know Telly.
(47:09):
So anyway, she's the one who brought him in the store.
You know, she's my boyfriend's a fighter. This is what
he's wearing. And I'm like, oh, she was the connector.
She had the stop like is he really wearing that?
That looks like party City? Right right?
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And you know she goes and this guy's fighting the best.
What could you do? We did five outfits, then cut
to we got this outfit okay, beautiful black. You know
he tries it on the day before like practice, loves it.
The next day is the fight. I walk in the
locker room. He's not Deontay, He's not even there. He's like,
(47:43):
and I'm like, Deontay, are you all right? It's cars
like are you okay?
Speaker 3 (47:46):
You know?
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yea, like something happened to him, right, So, and he's
got all these yes men around him, you know, but
nobody's like, come and sit down, let's pray, let's meditate,
let's do you know whatever to get you snap out
of it. You're fighting fury, right, So then I go
and we walk out. It's Black History Month for real, okay, okay,
(48:07):
So we had this whole thing going on. It was
like amazing. And then he goes, let's walk out and
then he goes Cosmo. So he goes walk out with me.
So I'm dressed with now you're in there, I'm walking
out with Giance. He goes, I want Cosmo. Yeah, like
you know, we really got closed, you know what I mean?
So anyway, I'm like i gotta walk. So we walk
out and then all of a sudden, I'm like, okay,
(48:29):
I'm walking with Giance. Bitches okay, and I hear fuck
you yeah, like there was going They were all shouting
Fury here we curey. I'm like, we're gonna get I'm
gonna somebody's gonna throw a fucking me, you know what
I mean. I thought it was gonna be all g
It was just a nightmare. It was a nightmare. Some
like as soon as we hit uh, Caesar's powers cursed.
(48:52):
So I go sit down and my beat in my seat.
Siance goes to fight and then all of a sudden,
I'm like, God, this guy's getting like a rag doll.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
That fight.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
I could not.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Believe it, but there was. I'll tell you, I'm not
a boxing expert, but Tyson Fury went into that fight
because they fought before, and Deontay knocked him down right,
and the guy's like Frankenstein. He got back up from
the heart punch of the way right. Getting punched by
Deontay's like getting hit with a fucking metal baseball bat,
you know, I mean, like a bat to the skull.
So the fact that Tyson Fury got up from the
first fight is insane, Right, he did a thing. He
(49:30):
went into that with a strategy specifically for Deontay Wilder,
because he knows Deontay is all about that punch. He's
not about defense. He's not about other skills. He's just like,
if you get hit by that punch, your fuck So Tyson,
if you watch again, Tyson, Fury is constantly just holding
onto him and draining his energy, energy, draining his energy,
draining his energy. So by the whatever fifth or sixth round,
(49:54):
then he starts fucking dging him up, and Deontay doesn't
have the energy left to do his signature fucking Mortal
Kombat punch. So he really Tyson went into that fight
really kind of educated and had a customized attack for
that specific fighter, and that's what fucked him up. The
guy through the Yeah, but most fighters when they fight Deante,
(50:15):
they just are shitting and pissing their pants and they
get hit by that one. Right, But he doesn't have
a good defense. He doesn't have He just knows how
to fucking.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Nail you that well. He was a better fighter.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
But I didn't like that they blamed it on you
and that mask that that you created for him. Give
me a break. It's up to the fighter to fight,
it's up to the athlete to perform. Thank you for that,
And he was up against one of the toughest I
wake up right and give me you death threats.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yeah, it was bad. Well, he's a scapegoat. He lost
the fight because of his outfit.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
That's all legle, that's fragile mail ego.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
He can't take the truth came out. Who's that sportscaster
from New York. He goes, he didn't lose the fight
for the fucking outfit. He just got his ass, motherfucking
go Okay, he was not prepared for that fight. Don't
blame that fucking designer. And then on the cover I
think of La Times was like the outfit one. Yeah,
(51:10):
there you go. Loss. So I'm waiting for Deyonce's phone call.
I'm like, Deyonce, why'd you throw me under the bus?
You know, I'm pissed right because, he goes, You'll be
with me forever. Cosmo Beyonce said the same thing. So
I finally I'm at the Daia and me and my
business partner were pissed off. We're like, why do you
(51:30):
do that to us? He goes, Guys, I am so sorry.
He goes it was FaceTime. He goes, it wasn't me.
It was my coach who wanted who blamed you? It
got out there with social media. He goes, Cosmo, You're
going to be with me to the end. But that
was the end. It was, and then he fought again.
(51:51):
I made the outfit again. I blessed it from African
uh we did these beans from Africa. Really got into it.
And then he just like he started losing losing.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
Yeah, it got really bad.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
It's actually I got more publicity from Deioncey. But Shaq
called me from beyond Deoncey. He goes, whatever you made Deioncey,
could you make me something? So he called me FaceTime
and I answered the phone. I'm like, oh my god,
it's Shack. Yeah, he goes, Cosmo, he goes, I got
your number from Deyoncey. Could you hook me up? And
then I started making clothes for a Shack.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Okay, this is my final question because I have to
go to the airport. Can you style me the next
time I do a red carpet. I would love to
name your price. Yeah, I would love to name your price.
We'll talk, we'll talk, we'll talk in the dress someone
with the glory whole Okay, perfect.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I would love to style you.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
I'll put it on now, I'll put it on that.
But then I gotta go to the airport. Okay, you guys,
I could talk to you all this and I just
got you aimingful for me to walk away from this
because I can talk to you all day. She's got
to pay.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
You gotta pay. Then he get the car.
Speaker 1 (52:54):
I gotta pa the Queen of Melrose aka Cosmo Lo mean.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
I'll be with Arikre.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
All right, listen up, we got some disposal for you.
Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about
when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your
chance to tell me all about it, Mabel. I want
to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck
was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up
your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven
(53:28):
one six two six six twenty four sixty four and
leave me a voicemail and we might just.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Play it on a future episode.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our producer
is Bei Wang, our research assistant is David Carliner, our
editor in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is
by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and drop
a review on your podcast have a choice
Let's have y'all. It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing,
the podcast where I talk to comedians, artists and other
interesting people about the worst bombs of their careers. On
today's episodes, we have none other than the Queen of
Melrose aka Cosmo Lombino, an absolute legend. You recognize Cosmo's
voice the second.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
You hear it.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
She's a fashion designer with a crazy life story and
we get into it about everything growing up with family,
ties to the mob, low points with drugs in sobriety,
fisting accidents, styling celebrities, and the time she got fusted
on cops. If you're in La you gotta check out
her stores on Melrose Avenue in Joy.
Speaker 3 (00:38):
Bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, my name is Eric Andre. The
podcast is All Bombing, and I am here with the
Queen of Melrose aka Cosmo Lombino. Legend. She does it
all fashion runway. She used to get cracked in the
projects Queen's Bridge, The Queen's Bridge she was part of,
(01:08):
the she was part of the loof sansa height story.
Speaker 2 (01:11):
Loofellas, you did your homework.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
So tell us a little bit about your backstory. You're
from the Bronx Manhattan.
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Where I'm from Harlem.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
East's from Harlem West Harlem really one twelve between Broadway
and Amsterdam one hundred and sixteen and Spanish Arlem Spanish Harlem.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So it was like West Side story.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
For you, west Side Storry. They made The Godfather and
my grandmother's apartment.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
You're making a joker.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
No, I kid you not.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You're Italian or Porto Ricans Italian, but.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
You knew weakened by injection by beef In Jackson. You
look like you have a little Puerto Rican I know,
I get that a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
But my dad was from Haiti. My mom's a Jew
from Harlem.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (01:53):
So that gives a Puerto Rican child. Yeah, yeah, it
was bent like a hockey steak though, like a little
we like that. You want to do poppers or do
you know what what was the last time you did poppers?
Because you've been sober for eight years?
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Eight years?
Speaker 1 (02:08):
What was the rock bottom? When did you stop doing drugs?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Poppers? Was eighties and early nights back.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
So these kids, these gen Z kids, they're bringing everything back.
Pop is back, poppers is back.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
It all comes back, It comes back music, fashion.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
Yep, and popp is. Did you used to shoot drugs?
I never shot up at but you were the cocaine.
I was coke and booze or what.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
I was coke?
Speaker 1 (02:34):
And then it went to crack and you were just
having to and it.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
Wasn't cracked though. It was freebase.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Freebase is the high class.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah, that's how it was a Richard briarways, Yeah, did
you see Joe Joe j answer? Oh, I loved Jo
so that was his thing. But he went on fire.
He tried to kill him. I don't know. When you
cook the etherther with the cocaine, sometimes it explodes.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Oh yeah, it's dangerous, so I think it exploded. What's
your craziest drug story? What's the most fucked up you
ever been?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Do you want to hear it?
Speaker 3 (02:59):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'm a you Are you ready though.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
I'm so ready? Then after this story, we're gonna introduce
my high school friend again, because we love you.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
I love your friends. I feel like I know them
for years. Yes, okay, drug story, this just came to mind.
I have a million of them. Yes, but okay, so
I'm seventeen. I moved to California.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Right because after I lived growing up in Harlem.
Speaker 2 (03:19):
After growing up in Harlem, then I moved to Queens
Long Island City. Okay, you know, which is like Manhattan
right now, it's like beautiful right and then it used
to be yeah, it never used to be. It was
all crack and prostitutes. I loved it. I cried when
they left. Anyway.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
You know that New York you know that was Yeah,
well I got a little taste of it was a
little kid, because my mom would bring me back.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, you're Florida, right, Yeah, tell me some Florida story.
I got you. If there is one, I got you.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Oh there's plenty. Yeah, okay, kid me.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
So I moved. I moved to uh, California. My father
got a job in the Palm restaurant. My mother was
teasing the heir. I like, am Margaret, I'm gonna do
the whole thing for you.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
No.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
Sure. So I moved to California.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
And I think I heard about this Jehovah's Witness.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
No. I was Catholic all my life. Then my grandmother
was about Catholic every Sunday in church. What happened was
an astoria Queens. My grandmother had a house. She was
the matriarch of the family. All of a sudden, like
Jehovah's witnesses come to her door. That's the men. The
next thing I know, we're going to fucking Kingdom Hall.
(04:26):
Were Jehovah's witnesses converted her? She converted? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Italian?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
So here I am eight years old. You can't be gay.
You can't have a birthday, you can't have a Christmas,
you can't touch yourself, you can't be gay. I said,
fuck you all. I like the Bible says the truth
will set you free. There you go, literally eight years
old and I'm gay and that's the truth. So I
was so defiant from the gay girl. Yeah. But anyway,
(04:53):
and then my mother couldn't be a Jehovah's winness. She
tried to please him. My father was still in the Bronx,
you know what I mean. He was like doing the
Lufthansa thing. Yeah, so it didn't really work out, but
my grandmother did try.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
You know, well, your dad was in the loof Ends
of heist along with Hill.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Like you know Goodfellas. Yeah, so that that Lufthansa heist
in Queens. Yeah, so my father was implicated than that.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
That was the biggest heist. But they tried a million.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
They tried to implicate if your money.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
They fucked up the whole family.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
The five fan was crazy. They all ride it on
each other and then after the kind of went, you know,
it wasn't the mob anymore. But that's what my father said,
fuck New York because he was indicted, you know. And
I always had FBI agents in my yard looking at
my father.
Speaker 3 (05:42):
Jesus.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
They would follow me to school.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Some of them hot, yeah, you know what. One like
a man in a suit.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
One was hung like a horror horse. I remember he
was uncut. It was like, wow, that's what it looked
like an amazilla. But anyway, that was another thing that
was my That was the Queen's first experience. How was like,
what do I do with this?
Speaker 1 (06:02):
He has the biggest cocks Dominican guys.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I got to stay between the Puerto Ricans and the Dominicans.
I think it's a tie.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Tie, but they're big boys.
Speaker 3 (06:11):
You hung.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
Have you ever taken off a guy's pants? It's going
to be a long night.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You know what. Not too long ago?
Speaker 1 (06:18):
Really? Yeah, Well, the guy had like a fucking bowling pin.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Or what.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
So anyway, my neighbor says. My neighbor says, I just
moved in my back. Neighbor is hung like a horse
and he's obsessed with you. I'm like, really, give me
his number. So because I just broke up with somebody.
So now you know she's queen and you know she's
queen and soba right, so unavailable. So anyway, he comes
(06:41):
So anyway, he sends me a picture and I'm like, okay.
Then he goes, could I come over? I want to
give you a massage? So I just bought a massage table, right,
So anyway, perfect, He comes over and he takes off
his pants and I'm like, you can landa aircraft on
that thing. This thing was like a dream. I think
(07:04):
it's even like everybody's dreaming when you're straight, gay, whatever.
Everybody wants to play with this thing, right. So anyway,
so I said, your picture does no justice. I says, yeah,
you were big in the picture, but you're like you
know this size small, medium, large, Yeah, and oh my god,
yeah was oh my god. Yeah, you know what I mean.
(07:27):
And that heart's very rare to find that like that
John Holmes Cock, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
But that's a tough You're like, it's going to be
a long night.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
It wasn't that long, you know what I mean. As
a matter of fact, I just looked at it.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
You know.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
It's like, you know, threw it over my shoulder, you
know what I mean, A little pre ejaculation occurred. I'm like,
can I thank you very much? Yeah? Because it's like,
when it is that big, what do you really do
with it?
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Are you going to hang out with this guy again?
Speaker 2 (07:52):
I fell in love. I'm in love. No, I text
him all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Well, without any further you got to keep those aside yet.
I want to introduce one of my oldest friends, my
bestest friends from high school. We made a pack to
do comedy together when we were twenty years old and
Christina's bedroom. Ladies and gentlemen, you know her from Driver
school Yard. It's Megan Blanchat. Everybody, I'm Magan. Megan is
here for a specific reason because we are super fans.
(08:22):
We became sisters, and we love your content. We're obsessed
with you, and I wouldn't have it any other way
than to be drinking some good wine right here with
Megan and you, and Sonny is here too if she's
feeling there's We just wanted to vibe out with you
because you're our inspiration. Okay, where's the strangest place you've
(08:45):
ever read? Sex?
Speaker 2 (08:46):
Oh? So I didn't finish tell my story?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Shall tell you.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
I want to know. I want to go. I don't
want to know crazy sex stuff, crazy drug stuff. Okay,
and then we'll talk about bombing.
Speaker 4 (08:54):
Are we still on the M one?
Speaker 3 (08:56):
No?
Speaker 2 (08:56):
No, no, we're passing that girl. Oh okay, queen, yes, girl, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
Anytime you want to go around like we could share it, I.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
Feel like I would scare me, like I'd be stressed.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Yeah for a minute, and then you'll be like yeah,
I just said yeah.
Speaker 4 (09:11):
Like I see it, I see it.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
You got to face your fears. We'll have a freak.
Yeah you have a little freaking.
Speaker 5 (09:16):
Yes seriously, but not an army like I feel like
that would stress.
Speaker 2 (09:19):
But what's your thing? Like what is a puartter weekend?
Is Italian? Like what you'll like?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Freak?
Speaker 5 (09:23):
Okay, so deep down I have I have a thing
for like guidos, like proper, like like the really cheesy,
like with the the.
Speaker 2 (09:30):
Whole Joey, but yeah, we love Joey.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
Yeah, like I have a twin.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
Brother that love you from Florida. He's like last of
the hot Italians.
Speaker 4 (09:41):
Okay, you know, yeah it's the boy.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I'm the girl, so you might have to be my
sister in law.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
Okay, okay, Megan, is it married men kind of your freak?
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Oh no? Do we go there?
Speaker 4 (09:53):
How dare you beause that's what I heard.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
She likes a little bit of the danger.
Speaker 2 (09:58):
Oh really, Yeah, that's cute and all, but then karma.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Karma, it's awful. No, it's the wrong choice. I hate you.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
And what happened to Joey Butterfield coat? Yeah, the lady,
she got a face blown off girl, not a good
idea girl.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
But she likes the danger of it, Like it's like
shoplifting it like yeah, you don't need to do it,
but yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:19):
And also on that topic, I got caught for shoplifting
when I was like fourteen from jaz Benny.
Speaker 4 (10:23):
From jay z Benny. I wasn't allowed to go in
for a year. Oh year, I was.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Okay, So you're stealing and you're stealing people's husband, so
it's telling me a lot about you. Okay, stay away
from me, bitch.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
Don't do that. Such a bright girl, you have such
a bright future.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That was and she's passed.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
That was going to day. Are you over right now?
Speaker 4 (10:45):
Right now?
Speaker 2 (10:46):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (10:46):
Okay Garlington, I was a Now I was bad girl
club too.
Speaker 4 (10:50):
Oh yeah, I was real crazy. Okay, very easy?
Speaker 1 (10:53):
Did you did you?
Speaker 2 (10:54):
I did it all?
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Did you get somebody?
Speaker 2 (10:56):
I'm one? I'm on?
Speaker 3 (10:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (10:59):
What happened?
Speaker 4 (11:00):
Can he tells the story?
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (11:01):
So I lowe is the story of the most high
you've ever been? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:04):
Yeah, yeah?
Speaker 2 (11:04):
Which one you want first?
Speaker 1 (11:05):
I want to know what like rock bottom eyes a
com story, copy story.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So let's just do the story when it came out,
because you said something about getting high the word what
was the first question?
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Well, it was like what happened eight years ago that
got you sober?
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Oh? That was the that's another question. So which one
are we going with?
Speaker 1 (11:23):
What's the most fucked up you've ever been?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Okay, let's do that one first?
Speaker 1 (11:26):
What got you sober? And why were you on cops?
Speaker 2 (11:28):
Okay? So I moves here and then I'm a hairdresser
some cunning people's hair. So this lady goes, could you
come up in my house in Woodland Hills and my
husband makes movies. His name is a big director whatever.
And I go to this house and it's fucking beautiful.
She goes, but I think my husband's my fiance is gay.
(11:49):
She goes, and I want you to tell me because
you're gay, So come and do my hair. So I
go in the house, right beautiful, and then he's on
the bed right literally, okay, literally fisting himself. No, girl,
he had Arrah. He was Ammy Dex drugs. It's like
(12:11):
his leg was up here. So I'm in there, going
Welcome to LA, because I came to LA to get
away from the drugs and the freaking US. Oh no,
it's here. So anyway, I'm like, girl, what is he doing?
So she takes out at April. I can't wait. He
did on the bed, you know, as long as I'm
like doing April, you know, I'm obsessed. So I do
(12:32):
a hair and everything. So he calls her over and
he goes, honey, show Cosmo what we do. Literally new
to La, and I thought I'd seen it all. So
she has like little little little tiny fist and wrist
and she looked like sweet Polly from Underdog, you know,
what I mean, she had like a really big nose,
you know, no discrimation of big noses.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
That was usually they you know, Jewish, you're Italian.
Speaker 3 (12:56):
There we go.
Speaker 4 (12:56):
You know, I'm happy with my nose.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
And you'll probably proportioned. But anyway, so what happened was
she's like, babe, let's show Cosmo what we do. So
I'm cutting a hair or whatever, and then she goes Cosmo. Wait,
so they want to have this party with me. I'm sixteen, right,
seventeen girl talk about grooming, okay, and they were like
(13:22):
forty years old, right the eighties or what this is
the eighties, nineteen seventy nine, nineteen eighty when I first
moved here.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
So cocaine was flowing April everywhere, and I was already addictive.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Okay, because I'm doing this. I'm from from New York,
from being from Freebase.
Speaker 3 (13:37):
And all that.
Speaker 2 (13:38):
With the mob, that's another story, you know, the ones
that're free based, you know. So she goes to the
bed and she puts Gel on her hand and she's
fisting him. My first fucking, weird, old, motherfucking experience. So anyway,
she's fisting.
Speaker 4 (13:53):
Him and you're just standing there watching girl, I'm.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Like, just give me more coke. I can watch this all.
Speaker 4 (13:59):
Day, are you like?
Speaker 1 (14:01):
No?
Speaker 2 (14:01):
I didn't want to interact, girl, something like I will
suck a dick and a hearty queen. When it comes
to ship like that, I was like, wow, are they
making it fascinated? They were looking right at me. So
she's fisting him and he's getting aggravated. He goes, no,
you're not doing it right. You're not doing it right.
(14:21):
Your hand is so small. You got to go harder,
hard or harder. He goes, Cosmo, your turn. So there's
the coke, right, I wouldn't do anything. I'm like, sure,
why not? I would talk about this fucking plant for
five hours, you know what I mean? So my turn.
So she goes drawing this glove, honey. So I drew
(14:44):
on the glove and I put my hand in the
jew and there's this gorgeous man, gorgeous in the bed,
this producer. Yeah, and and then I go and I'm
like this, and he's psychotic, and he's getting aggravated with her,
like get the fuck away for me. Your hand is
just small and me He's like, oh wow, yeah, he's
(15:06):
loving it right like that, So all of a sudden,
I had a pinky ring on something like you had
on it, you know, because we love golds of New York, right,
So I had the little, you know, Italian nugget pinky
ring and I'm doing this and as I'm doing it,
I feel a rupture.
Speaker 4 (15:23):
No, what do you mean a rupture?
Speaker 2 (15:24):
A rupture? My ring and his asshole it busted something
of it in him horror movie.
Speaker 1 (15:32):
So this will blood.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Now, this is one from doing a haircut to you know,
partying some cocaine cut to the terrified blood.
Speaker 1 (15:40):
In fact, terrify A part three. Yeah, blood et.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I'm like, oh my god. So I fucking take my
hand out and there's like literally blood on it, and
I'm like, oh my god. She's like, oh I got it.
Was like a horror He goes, don't trip, don't trip.
I got this. It happened to me before. And I'm like,
I need more coke, you know, anywhere. So he goes
(16:06):
in the bathtub and I'm like, girl, not only is
he I think he's gay, but I think he's fucking degenerate. Girl,
Like you know what I mean, You're gonna I don't
know about I would think twice about marrying this guy
because she was engaged to him. So she's crying. It's
just a nightmare.
Speaker 3 (16:22):
Girl.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
I'm like, why why the queen from Queens, why why?
Oh my God, give me some more. And so he
comes out of the bathroom. He goes, I'm fine, and
I go to the bathroom and I see all the
blood in the tub, right, maybe even a few veins
and ship, Oh yeah, what thought pinky ring? You know
(16:44):
what I mean?
Speaker 4 (16:45):
Did you lose the pinky ring in the buttle?
Speaker 3 (16:47):
No?
Speaker 2 (16:47):
No, no, I still I still have it. I still
have it. Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah, okay. So anyway,
that's what happened. So he goes back in the bed, right,
takes out more coke. He goes, let's do it again. Whoa.
So that was my first experience in La, you know,
(17:11):
and I heard they're freaky here, like they take you
home into jacuzzi and you know, you come your sister,
your mother, your dog to bring it on. But never that.
So that was like the most terrifying experience to La. Okay,
so that's what happened.
Speaker 1 (17:26):
That's a lot.
Speaker 2 (17:30):
Yeah, yeah, pretty good.
Speaker 3 (17:32):
Yeah yeah with a rendre.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
With are okay, so you got some more questions, what
happened eight years ago that you stopped doing drugs?
Speaker 2 (17:53):
Okay, so eight years ago? Okay, last time you got high? Okay,
so eight years ago.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Twenty what listen?
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It was the eight Uh it was Friday the thirteenth,
Friday the thirteenth.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
Before the election before Trump gets them.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
Yeah, okay, Friday thirteenth. Are you literally going to do that?
Speaker 4 (18:13):
I don't think so, Okay, I can only do it.
Speaker 2 (18:15):
We all do that. You're gonna see, you're gonna go.
Speaker 1 (18:17):
I'll do it if you do it, you do it first.
Speaker 2 (18:19):
Yeah, I'll do it.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
If you do first. Sunday does the first.
Speaker 2 (18:22):
I call my sponsor. Yeah, that's she's on speed sile anyway,
as long as we're not fisting, we're fine.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Well, no time, So eight years ago, it's twenty sixteen.
Speaker 2 (18:39):
So you know, it was getting like I try to
get sober. Was the relapse queen? Like bad things were happening.
I'm up for nine.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Days doing blow and then pillowing blow.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
No pills, just vodka and blow and free base, you know.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
The free Base.
Speaker 4 (18:54):
Are you sad and crying?
Speaker 3 (18:56):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Serahicle suicidal like drug addicts like hope to die drug daddech.
I wouldn't die. I just kept on coming back girl,
like Tina Turner and Share. I just kept on coming
fucking back girl. Yeah yeah, So I was like yeah,
so anyway, and everybody in AA was like, you know,
she keeps on God bless her, she keeps on coming back.
(19:21):
The pitch is forty nine years old and she's still
out there doing fucking crack with you know, downtown behind
a dumpster bitch. And then I had always had clothing
stores too, so I had to go to work. But
I had this crazy work ethic that I would always
go to work, and then I.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Would have to if you're in like one hour sleep.
Speaker 2 (19:37):
You know what. When I used to work for these
Israelis that's who got me started, and they're like used
to sleep, I wake you and they bring me like
a fucking falafel, you know what I mean. They'd open
my windows, you know what I mean. Because I made
so much money for them, you know what I mean.
So they they were like, you know, okay, you to
(19:57):
leave me two o'clock and I wake you up to o'clock.
I have to know, that's when I get busy. So
I go back to work and they're like push, push,
you know what I mean. So they taught me how
to do the shmata business. Really, that's why I have
a store forty years today, you know what I mean,
because they really taught me.
Speaker 3 (20:12):
You know.
Speaker 1 (20:13):
So I to your store. I would love for you
to come to Can we all do a field trip there?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
I would love to go today.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Where is the store? Where is it?
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It's on Melros and Fuller, and then I have another
one on Melros and Stanley by Starbucks. And then I
have another one called shoehor La.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
What are the first two golds? Can you shout them out?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Okay?
Speaker 2 (20:31):
For audio? So there's Cosmo's Glam.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Squad, Yeah, Squad that's on Fuller okay, and then I
have Cosmo and Zanata.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Yeah. So that's a label. I had to pull on
a business partner. That's who was my sponsor in AA boy,
who helped me get sober. Okay, So I trust him
so much. I mean, I'm a partner, you know, because
the store is like it's a monster to run and
I can't really do it all by myself. So I
pulled him in. So we did a label.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Even when you were on vodka and you're doing club.
You're still working hard. Yeah, so still work. So you're
really not sleeping. You're you're drinking, you're doing your freebasing coke.
You're kind of half sleeping when the Israelis talk you
into it, then you get up. You're working your ass off,
your opening stores. It was he you're han't falling out
with business partners. Yeah, it's a lot of stress. It
(21:16):
was so stress.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
It was a lot. So you hit a wall, you know,
I have to go to the hospital. And it was
like really bad because they always say, you know, you
keep on using, it's gonna get worse, never better, right,
And it was always getting worse. Bad things happened, my
person getting stolen, whatever. I have to fight gangsters, you know.
I'm downtown in a hotel room, you know, with these
fucking eighteenth Street and they will put the mattresses no really.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
Yea, And they would put the.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Paranoia and they will put the mattresses on the the
the windows and a gun on the table, you know
what I mean. And I'd be partying with them, like
you know, it's like that, it's like it's time, like,
but I would get so high, I'd be like, just
put your dick away, we want the teck, just give
me all your coke. And they didn't like that, so
(22:04):
I had to jump out a few windows, you know
what I mean, because it was dangerous down there. I
don't know if you heard themok out this park.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Yeah, so you know it's still living Echo Park. It's
not far right, so you know, let's sketchy.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
We got this park. It's like it's legendary for like
people hanging out there and not coming home. And then
in that lake there was like bodies they would drain
the lake. There would be cork carcasses in that lake
from like and I loved it. I was in the
middle of it all. I'm like, oh my god, I'm
still Oh how's my hair?
Speaker 3 (22:31):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (22:33):
But I would come home just like fucked up girl,
like and you know, thank god, there was like a
kind of an angel on my shoulder. But I would
always come home unscathed. And they would actually cut people's
throats down there. But they love me. They're like, we
call it. We're going to call you Hollywood. We love
hanging out with you. Hollywood. Yeah, Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
So when you get out of the hospital, do you
go right into AA was it where you're just like.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
I've been going to AA from many.
Speaker 1 (22:59):
Oh you were really yeah, but this is the longest
you've been sober. Yeah, So what was what? What was
about this that you were I was done? Like I
knew I was done, you know, because.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
I drank all your drinks. You did it all you
did it. I did it behind dumpsters. I did it
Beverly Hills movie.
Speaker 1 (23:18):
Never did acid.
Speaker 2 (23:19):
I did acid yet when I was younger, I put
a little snoopy on my tongue.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:23):
I did some locker room that was the eighties. That
was fun because you know, in the beginning, it's fun, Yeah,
and then it's fun with problems. Yeah, and then it's
fun with more problems. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (23:33):
How long was it that you knew that you had
to stop, like that you were struggling.
Speaker 2 (23:37):
I was dancing with the double for many years, like
the last fifteen years of my addiction, Like I knew
I had to stop. Years stop. I can't stop.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
You know.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
Do you think it comes from inside, like a depression
or something like that. No, you know that.
Speaker 2 (23:51):
I think it's a gene.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Your parents were.
Speaker 2 (23:54):
My father was and my mother was alcohol. It's my
grandparents too. Yeah, it's in you, so, I think. But
then there's also people with white pick of fences. You
know that their parents are not alcoholic, and they become
like Crystal met fucking degenerates.
Speaker 4 (24:09):
You have abandoned the issues.
Speaker 2 (24:11):
I think we all do. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Even though I had a twin in the same sack
with me.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
You know you had a twin.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
I have an identical twin, Joey set. You know, he's
the boy. I'm the girl.
Speaker 1 (24:28):
So Joey straight, Joey straight. There's a straight you identical.
Speaker 4 (24:35):
That I may end up.
Speaker 1 (24:39):
You know, I got to see.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
Joe doesn't you give him a little locker room? But no,
Joey straight. He's one of the last Italians in New York.
He was my twin brother, so he was like my
protector to in New York growing up. He had your
back because he played hockey and he was.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Going to be and we're kids picking on you. You know
what it's like. I became the bully. I became the
bullying dad picking on you because you're gay.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Or now my father okay, so he told me I
got that one beating when I was younger.
Speaker 1 (25:11):
I'll be honest, did you come out out to him
or did you was never in you? You were singing
shoun you were you were like course Line Eliza and
l VHS's and they knew right away.
Speaker 2 (25:27):
I was three years old. I was in love with
Donny Osmond and the Monkeys. Who was the Monkeys Davy Jones?
So I didn't know what gay was. I didn't know,
but I told my mother I'm going to marry Donny Osmon,
and here I am. I had a towel on my
head and our heels. They couldn't stop me. So they like,
when did you come out? Cosmo? I was never in right,
(25:48):
like I came strumming up, you know. But my father
was in the mob. So one day, my older brother's
playing basketball, so he's with all of his friends in Harlem, right,
so he's mortified that I'm gay, my older brother, you
know what I mean. My father was okay with it
because he knew I was going to be like somewhat
successful after the drug addiction, of course. But so I'm
(26:10):
in the park and I'm like Tommy, and I'm running
like a girl because I always wanted to run like this,
you know, like my aunts, my mother's sisters. I thought it.
So I thought it was normal to run like this.
So anyway, Tommy comes home from playing basketball. He goes, Dad,
Cosmo embarrassed me on purpose. He acts like a fag
on purpose. I didn't act like a fag on purpose.
(26:31):
That's how I was, you know what I mean. I'm like, Tommy,
I was so happy, you know, it's being in the
park and I thought it was perfectly normal. So he goes,
how dare you embarrass your brother? So I got that
one beating like maybe he's not going to be gay anymore,
you know what I mean. But I came out of
the fucking the beating like you know, you know what
(26:52):
I mean, or.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Doing a runway more gay.
Speaker 2 (26:56):
So then my father told me. He goes, I work
with a lot of gay people. I'm in the club scene.
He goes, I just don't want this life for you
because I think you're.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Going to be unhappy.
Speaker 2 (27:06):
He goes, and I love you very much. So, long
story short, I became a hairdresser. I was the first
one to open my own business. So before he died,
he wanted me by his bed. So he always loved
and supported me.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
That's great because it doesn't always work out that way. Yeah,
it doesn't a lot of people get rejected by their
There's so many tough Italian You're right, right, but even
in the South people getting thrown out.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Like if you see the all around the world, you
see mostly homeless gay people, you know in the streets,
it's because they were their parents didn't support them. So
I blamed the parents, I really do. That's why I
wish some people would come out, like big celebrities like
you know who and.
Speaker 4 (27:46):
You know who?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Donald Trump is gay. They're saying, I like.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
Trying this upside down, trying to upside down. We all
need anal bleaching. I agree.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I've said that a million times.
Speaker 3 (28:04):
With Aridre with a recdre.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Now, I want to know why are you on cops.
That's a bit of a bomb and I love that
you ever selling a perfume called my cunt. That's what
we have to put this image up on the fucking
he's serving. You're selling a signature cent called my cunt.
You know what? It's pretty and soft?
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (28:36):
Wow? Why you guys get wow? I sold out?
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Yees?
Speaker 1 (28:41):
I need I need something?
Speaker 2 (28:42):
You want to smell Cosmos cut?
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I want to smell Cosmo cuns. I never thought I did.
Speaker 3 (28:46):
Now I do.
Speaker 4 (28:47):
I always know.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
I always knew I was on.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
The fence, but now I'm now I'm no longer of fence.
I'm okay, So cops, we got to talk about why
are you on cops?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
So I'm in LA. This is when I first come
to l A again, and I'm here for a few years,
and I go, let me go buy some drugs. So
I wear like this Adida sweatsuit and my twin brother
and a baseball hat. And I don't look like this
at all. I look like my twin brother, right, gonna
go bad neighborhood. So anyway, I'm a cat and Santa
(29:19):
Monica Boulevard there was the drug spot there, so there
I go. I'm buying drugs and then all of a
sudden they're like, you're on cops. And I turn around, right,
and it's me these two guys ready to go and
get our freak on and have fun. And I have
the drugs in my hand and I turn around and
the first year of cops in my face and twitch.
Speaker 3 (29:44):
Fee for me.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Don't move, Okay?
Speaker 3 (29:53):
All right?
Speaker 6 (29:53):
Johnson from New York, how are you been out here?
You got your could you know anything shop or anything?
I'm gonna have myself on them. Well, I'm gonna cut
my cell phone and poke myself, you know. Okay, you
have identification or anything.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
No idea.
Speaker 1 (30:10):
I just poked down here.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
But I just got a job on no road.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
Did you see? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (30:15):
Where you live at? I'm staying with my mom at
w Hill. You're done over a new part of the neighborhood.
I was looking for my guy. Won't you to my favorite?
Once you step back?
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Watch still, okay, and step one over here for me.
Speaker 2 (30:26):
Okay, stand next to the wall here. And they're like,
we're gonna go see if you have a warrant, you know,
and then if you sign this release, we'll let you go.
So I had all cocaine crack in my mouth and
they're asking me questions and I'm praying that one don't
fall out right.
Speaker 3 (30:46):
Right?
Speaker 5 (30:47):
So anyway, So do they like arrest you, put you
in the car, and then have you sign a release.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
And so they said, if you signed this release to
show your face on cops, we're gonna let you go
because I had a warrant. So otherwise they would have
set me in. I would have signed anything to go
smoke my coke and get away from them, right so,
and I'm like, it's not a thing, because who heard
of Cops? Nobody heard of A few weeks later, they're
(31:13):
calling me from New York because it's three hours difference there,
and they're like, I hear Cosmo in my living room.
I go, look at the TV. Cosmo's on Cops.
Speaker 3 (31:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (31:22):
So they just kept on playing that episode. It was
the first year of Cops, but till this day. You know,
the repeats, what you gonna do when they come for you?
They keep on playing that fucking episode. Oh my god,
there's nothing I could do about it. I signed my
cunts away.
Speaker 1 (31:38):
I absolutely that I was on to catch a predator.
I thought that those twelve year old girls won in
Mike's hard lemonade, and I was wrong.
Speaker 4 (31:51):
I always feel bad for the guy.
Speaker 1 (31:53):
I feel a little bit better.
Speaker 4 (31:54):
I always wantphile always.
Speaker 1 (31:56):
I don't feel bad for pedophiles in general.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
But on the show, so we're kind of like, well,
not give.
Speaker 4 (32:04):
Him a breaker.
Speaker 1 (32:05):
I'm like Georgia side.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
A little bit.
Speaker 1 (32:09):
You know, he's all big stuff. Because the other side
of it is the Chris Hansen Nazi guy and then
this fascistic swat team that comes in, You're like, I
don't really like a fascistic swat team either, like police
power destroying. Yeah for lower class guy, that feels weird too,
But I can't fuck kids, I got it. Yeah, there's
(32:30):
no way.
Speaker 4 (32:31):
My heart always goes out to the guys on that.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
It's overkilled, like yeah, devastating. Yeah that's kind of how
I was, you know. So yeah that's what happens, you know.
And these fucking shows they set you up. You know
what celebrities have you worked with? So I work with
and Sank back in the day. I made them the
first outfits they have a performed. Really, they came in
(32:57):
with them.
Speaker 1 (32:57):
You need your own museum.
Speaker 2 (32:58):
Remember the manager that they fired, Yeah, the freak. Yeah,
So he came in with them and they wanted my
outfits and he didn't want to pay for them because
they were kind of pricey. So I had like Nikki
six in my outfits back in the day.
Speaker 1 (33:12):
You know, we did Motley Crue.
Speaker 2 (33:13):
I did Motley Crue.
Speaker 1 (33:14):
Now, all your connections through your dad's restaurant, how did
you know so into the pipeline of it's celebrity in
l A.
Speaker 2 (33:22):
Just opening a store in Melrose, Ye opening and you
have good taste and I have them.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
You'll see you made things well and you have good taste.
Speaker 2 (33:29):
Yeah. So the word was out. There was a big bus.
There's this queen on Melrose.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And your charisma, you know, and you personable.
Speaker 2 (33:36):
Yeah, so there was a vibe.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
You know, I think you should run for mayor of
Los Angeles to do it. I'm gonna be honest with you.
Speaker 2 (33:42):
You know, I just got into proclamation. Did you hear
about that?
Speaker 1 (33:45):
What is that? Like the emancipation proclaim? It's Queen of
Melrose day or so?
Speaker 2 (33:52):
Now the mayor of West Hollywood gave me a proclamation
like the Keys to the city a few weeks ago.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
What is it? Unlock?
Speaker 2 (34:01):
You know, it's just like basically maybe a free gym
membership at the new gym.
Speaker 1 (34:10):
Why don't you run for mayor or something?
Speaker 4 (34:12):
Run for something?
Speaker 1 (34:13):
You never know something city council.
Speaker 2 (34:15):
Never know what's going to happen. I mean, like I
went on the internet to sell address and here I
am getting like sitting with you right now in your
podcast super Fans. They just flew me. They just slew
me to New York to do a huge brand deal
for boys smell so it's a candle. Luxury canoys. Smell
boys smell google it luxury candles. Right, they have a
(34:40):
locker room candle. Yes, and they have like a like
smelly nuts candle and all that. Anyway, Jesus, So they
flew me there for like three days, and I'm going
to be on the billboard Christmas, on the digital billboard,
like pinch me, pinch me, you deserve it. She went
(35:02):
from Burns said, come on, so it's a moment. That's
why I cried a little when you said something good,
because it really is a pinch me moment. I never
thought this was happening, Like you're so bad leg really
behind a jumpster, like down you're a star.
Speaker 1 (35:22):
It's so charismatic and likable and down to earth that
easy to work with.
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (35:27):
Come on, have you ever eaten ass?
Speaker 2 (35:30):
You know what?
Speaker 1 (35:31):
I don't eat ass anymore because this guy's dick was
so big and he was so like impossible.
Speaker 4 (35:40):
What is it about the ass that makes you know?
Speaker 2 (35:43):
It was really hard? Why not.
Speaker 3 (35:49):
Down there?
Speaker 2 (35:49):
Help yourself, help yourself to the go down. Isn't it
amazing that it's the best feeling.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
She's a bit of a freak.
Speaker 4 (35:57):
Yeah, let's move forward.
Speaker 1 (36:00):
Let's I want to change it. So joke, let's change this.
Speaker 4 (36:02):
It's about you. This is your show.
Speaker 1 (36:04):
Okay, okay, what's the worst gig you ever had? What's
the biggest bomb? Bomb at a fashion show or a
storf went under because you had a shady business partner,
or some celebrity fucking lashed out at you because you
fucked something up. So you guys, the biggest bomb?
Speaker 2 (36:16):
You guys know all for one? They sing that song,
I swear that's my rio profile song.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
We can't afford this part of the body.
Speaker 3 (36:33):
I love you.
Speaker 1 (36:38):
And give me those poppers.
Speaker 4 (36:42):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (36:44):
I want to stick them on my whole right now.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So anyway, you're working for them.
Speaker 2 (36:50):
So I did their tuxedos for the Miss America pageant
and look New Jersey.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
You got some high steaks gigs.
Speaker 2 (36:56):
I did a lot of pressure. I did a lot
of good.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
It's more pressure than people think. It's fun, but it's stress.
Speaker 2 (37:01):
It's a lot.
Speaker 1 (37:02):
Yes, the Queen was like, yeah, yeah, but I really
love that.
Speaker 2 (37:07):
A little bit about that. So but I really love
what I did, and that's what I came here for.
I came here to cut hair. But I cut somebody's
ear low bof and I when it was high on crack.
Speaker 4 (37:19):
So that's wait, we're going to take a couple of stories.
Speaker 2 (37:25):
So my father was all hooked up, so he carried
the lead on that one. He had me and he goes,
when you come out here, I'm going to put you
in the salon. I'm telling you, Sarah Fawcet Liz tell
her you're going to be hooked up. This is when
they get their hairds on its tailor and Sunst Boulevard.
So I come out here, I go to somebody's house.
So she wants a bob can you I'm so partying.
(37:50):
I'm wired right?
Speaker 1 (37:52):
Can you tell us who it is?
Speaker 2 (37:53):
Slaps? Thank god?
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Barbara streisup.
Speaker 2 (37:57):
This was She's not a celebrity, but she was beautiful girl,
you know, and until your mutilated party girl. So her
hair was so thick and I'm like, girl, you have
thick hair. Girl cracked out, Why is it that dick?
So I go cut it in the mirror. She's crying
and I'm like, why are you crying's saying cut my ear?
(38:20):
Oh you come in so anyone I went, no, I did,
there's no blood and it was just such a clean cut.
And then when I went like this, like blood came out.
I was like, oh my god, that's my career as
a hairdresser. Like I was devastating. It was like the
another horror movie, Terrifire Part four.
Speaker 4 (38:40):
Did the lobe come off?
Speaker 2 (38:41):
No? No, it was cut. But thank god she didn't
sue me, and sheches she loved her haircut. By the way,
I was like that Bob, I was like, shaved on
one side. I was like, she loved it.
Speaker 1 (38:54):
That's a mombb. She did have to get stitches. Th oh,
but we're still friends to this day. So what's the
worst bomb gig? The worst gig you've had? You're all
for one, a swear you're putting the tuxedos on them
by the Moon and this guy, and then what happened
the tuxedos were they.
Speaker 2 (39:13):
Were asking Miss America and New Jersey and I made
them these beautiful car wash tuxedos. Right, this is the
first big gig I got. It was all for one. Yeah,
and then after so you're nervous, you're it was like
instinct came in and oh boy man, it was a
big break because of them, right, they were so big anyway,
they called me up. They're like Cosmo, the manager calls me.
(39:35):
I don't know what to do, Like all the buttons
are popping off the tuxedo as shit fuck Like mortified,
I'm like, do they have they gotta have a seamstress,
Miss America. I'm like, do they have somebody there?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (39:49):
They do, they do, they do, but we just want
to tell you. Like it was, they were all kind
of like the buttons were falling off, you know. So
I'm like, when they come home, I'm never gonna make
clothes for them again.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
Ever.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I was so devastated, you know what I mean. And
then were fine, we're good. Could you make these for me?
This little you know? And then I was like after that,
that was when all the boy bands came to me.
Brittany came to me. Uh in sank. They all want
to know who's this queen a Melrose doing all these
fabulous things?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
Right?
Speaker 1 (40:19):
What was the worst job you ever had? What was
the biggest asshole boss you ever worked for? Just like
a devastating job, like before hair.
Speaker 2 (40:26):
Before hair, I kind of worked in an insurance company,
like I tried to do behind the desk if wanted
blow my mind out and I couldn't do it. I
don't think that's I don't think that's your coup of tea.
So I said, I got to be real creative, real quick.
(40:47):
I got to think of something.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
And then what was it like working for Shaquille O'Neil,
Because that's a big guy. Okay, so did you see
his cock through his bands?
Speaker 2 (40:54):
You know what? He did? Answer the door because I
had to go to Jimmy Kimmel.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
Do you think he's got a big fucking hog or.
Speaker 2 (41:00):
I don't know, Like I heard some stories he's got
to be a fun and I heard some stories. Well,
if your proportion, your size is twenty four foot, right,
it's gotta be a this guy's fucking nine feet tall.
Speaker 1 (41:11):
It's gotta be like baseball bat. No, you know, I'm
were you were you fitting him and you were kind
of touching around, I know.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
A penis enlargement doctor. He says. The biggest clients hell
he has is the NFL.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
Because they got to weirdly have small dicks.
Speaker 2 (41:26):
You know, because it's like the whole myth, like, yeah,
you got to have.
Speaker 1 (41:29):
Like you know, but that's I heard.
Speaker 2 (41:32):
That's a lot of men aren't proportions. So I don't know.
And I heard good, good stories about Shack and I heard,
you know, bad stories, So I don't know. But he's
did answer the door in his underwear and he looked
really good, like I was hoping, like I would be
the snack that I was hoping.
Speaker 1 (41:50):
Do you think some of those basketball players are on
the down loan and they have like.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
I think little boy toys? Ninety percent of them.
Speaker 1 (41:55):
Are ninety percent of them have a little boy Yeah, yeah,
I think so little side.
Speaker 2 (41:59):
Especially now if you watch YouTube, they're all coming out
it's okay. You know the rappers that say you're a faggie,
you're faggy, you're the first one in the alley. Yeah,
they're taking it at the bottoms.
Speaker 1 (42:12):
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
All out there.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah you know what I mean. Yeah, so yeah, that's
all there. And what about Big FRIEDA. I love Big FRIEDA.
Speaker 2 (42:22):
Big FRIEDA.
Speaker 1 (42:24):
She did my birthday party, she did my show.
Speaker 2 (42:28):
She's my sister. I love Big FRIEDA. Well, she comes
in here. We totally hang out. Yes, we have a
great time. We go to the Shake Shock. She loves
to Shake Shock.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
They have the New Orleans. Yeah, yeah, she's good people. Yeah. Yeah,
and Meghan the Stallion. You got to do doja cat?
Fucking Beyonce. These are big clients. What do you do
for all the Nicki Minaj, Gwen Stefani.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
So Beyonce back in the day, she comes in?
Speaker 1 (42:54):
Who was the biggest diva pain in the ass? That
fucking lit you a new one?
Speaker 4 (42:58):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (42:59):
Did you ever have have j Low? Because I heard
she's a fucking pill Madonna? Tell me about Madonnas.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
She's not very nice? Oh really, it wasn't.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
She was rude to I still love her and Roquel Welch.
I still love them both. You know what, you know,
if you're that up at that echelon.
Speaker 2 (43:16):
I wouldn't expect anything less from the both of them,
because I know they're both fucking divers. But they were
both just really fucking bitches, you know, And I kind
of like them more after that because I'm like, that's
exactly what I expect.
Speaker 1 (43:30):
Were they being rude to you directly? Like give me
a little exit?
Speaker 2 (43:34):
Is like, no get away from me. I don't want that.
No pictures to my friend. She comes to Melrose right
and you know what you just got signed? She's Madonna.
She just did borderline and all that. Back in the
days she first she was an instant cun Yeah. Yeah,
and everybody knows about it.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
You know.
Speaker 2 (43:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
So she came home and mellowed out.
Speaker 2 (43:55):
I think after the kids, like and I went to
a concert, and I just seem like a different Madonna.
Speaker 1 (44:01):
I think the kids change your perspective.
Speaker 3 (44:03):
They changed little.
Speaker 1 (44:04):
They make you not so worried about the small things.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (44:07):
Deontay Wilder, Okay, so he said you lost him the fight.
This is what so can I give a little So
Deontay Wilder very famous boxer. He fights Tyson Fury, another
one of the best heavyweights in the world. There's two Titans, right,
These guys are gigantic too. Of the best boxers in
the world. Tyson Fury has a little bit better strategy.
He knows defense, he knows how to funck with Deontay.
(44:29):
Deontay just has this mega punch wherever he lands at
your toast. So you do the crazy helmet he wore
for that fight. For their final fight.
Speaker 2 (44:37):
I did five fights.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
You did five fights previous, but you did the final fight.
You did the final fight with Tyson Fury. Correct, I
did the fight. So he hires. You doesn't final fight.
You can make up this crazy thing. You know. These
guys have a big, flashy Liberaci entrance. Tyson Fury's coming
out like a king. He looks like the fucking King
of Hearts or whatever it looks.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
But it looked like party city. Yeah, I was cheap.
Speaker 1 (44:59):
Doge's wallder was had a much more creative outfit, but
he had a heavy he says he had a heavy helmets.
Like you know what you do. You test a helmet on,
you test, you do a fitting before you do any
any performance. There's tests, there's makeup tests, there's there's hair tests,
and you put on your outfit. There's a fitting and
you see what's comfortable. It's not what you like. You
(45:20):
take pictures of it. You have time to decide. You
don't put it on on the day right before you
go out there and complain about it. So it's a
little bit of bullshit. And the guy lost look so
he puts on the he put and I met him
on an airplane. It is very nice, but he's got the
scariest punch in the world.
Speaker 2 (45:33):
He's a sweetheart, you know what I mean. He's a
big old ham. He loves clothes. He loves fashion. Yeah,
absolutely beautiful. Yeah, he's a runway.
Speaker 3 (45:41):
You know.
Speaker 2 (45:41):
I Lovedionce. He got really close with fiance. But that
particular fight, we planned the outfit like six months before.
He goes that one.
Speaker 1 (45:50):
This is a fight where millions of people worldwide. Wi yeah, yeah,
a million people. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
He goes, I want something really menacing for this fight.
He said, well, okay, we're gonna make her for you.
He goes, Money's no objects. We did this fucking amazing outfit.
Did you guys see it? You saw it? It looks
like something out of a back Yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:07):
So it was voted the best ring walk outfit and
boxing history.
Speaker 1 (46:12):
Yeah, it looks incredible.
Speaker 2 (46:13):
Okay, but the Caesars Palace didn't close the lights. Otherwise
you would have seen laser beams coming out of it.
So they fucked up with the lights. We did a
dress rehearsal the day before. You're so right. He tried
it on in the hotel room with Caesars Palace. We
did everything fit. It wasn't too heavy. He loved the outfit.
(46:34):
The day of the fight, I go in the locker
room and he's in there, and he's not himself. I
think fury got in his head because when you go
to Vegas, you see Fury, Fury, Fury on every hotel.
So you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (46:46):
And that's what Mike Tyson said in his documentary, He goes,
boxing is all psychological. Yeah, he goes, I could beat
up a guy twice my size, and a guy half
my size could beat the shit out of me. It's
all psychological. You have a bad day, you're fucking in
your head. Every fight I w with he's all happy. Look,
you know what I mean. He won a few of
them with me. The outfits were amazing. He didn't look
like party City anymore. His girlfriend Kelly, you know Telly.
(47:09):
So anyway, she's the one who brought him in the store.
You know, she's my boyfriend's a fighter. This is what
he's wearing. And I'm like, oh, she was the connector.
She had the stop like is he really wearing that?
That looks like party City? Right right?
Speaker 2 (47:21):
And you know she goes and this guy's fighting the best.
What could you do? We did five outfits, then cut
to we got this outfit okay, beautiful black. You know
he tries it on the day before like practice, loves it.
The next day is the fight. I walk in the
locker room. He's not Deontay, He's not even there. He's like,
(47:43):
and I'm like, Deontay, are you all right? It's cars
like are you okay?
Speaker 3 (47:46):
You know?
Speaker 2 (47:47):
Yea, like something happened to him, right, So, and he's
got all these yes men around him, you know, but
nobody's like, come and sit down, let's pray, let's meditate,
let's do you know whatever to get you snap out
of it. You're fighting fury, right, So then I go
and we walk out. It's Black History Month for real, okay, okay,
(48:07):
So we had this whole thing going on. It was
like amazing. And then he goes, let's walk out and
then he goes Cosmo. So he goes walk out with me.
So I'm dressed with now you're in there, I'm walking
out with Giance. He goes, I want Cosmo. Yeah, like
you know, we really got closed, you know what I mean?
So anyway, I'm like i gotta walk. So we walk
out and then all of a sudden, I'm like, okay,
(48:29):
I'm walking with Giance. Bitches okay, and I hear fuck
you yeah, like there was going They were all shouting
Fury here we curey. I'm like, we're gonna get I'm
gonna somebody's gonna throw a fucking me, you know what
I mean. I thought it was gonna be all g
It was just a nightmare. It was a nightmare. Some
like as soon as we hit uh, Caesar's powers cursed.
(48:52):
So I go sit down and my beat in my seat.
Siance goes to fight and then all of a sudden,
I'm like, God, this guy's getting like a rag doll.
Speaker 3 (49:05):
That fight.
Speaker 2 (49:06):
I could not.
Speaker 1 (49:06):
Believe it, but there was. I'll tell you, I'm not
a boxing expert, but Tyson Fury went into that fight
because they fought before, and Deontay knocked him down right,
and the guy's like Frankenstein. He got back up from
the heart punch of the way right. Getting punched by
Deontay's like getting hit with a fucking metal baseball bat,
you know, I mean, like a bat to the skull.
So the fact that Tyson Fury got up from the
first fight is insane, Right, he did a thing. He
(49:30):
went into that with a strategy specifically for Deontay Wilder,
because he knows Deontay is all about that punch. He's
not about defense. He's not about other skills. He's just like,
if you get hit by that punch, your fuck So Tyson,
if you watch again, Tyson, Fury is constantly just holding
onto him and draining his energy, energy, draining his energy,
draining his energy. So by the whatever fifth or sixth round,
(49:54):
then he starts fucking dging him up, and Deontay doesn't
have the energy left to do his signature fucking Mortal
Kombat punch. So he really Tyson went into that fight
really kind of educated and had a customized attack for
that specific fighter, and that's what fucked him up. The
guy through the Yeah, but most fighters when they fight Deante,
(50:15):
they just are shitting and pissing their pants and they
get hit by that one. Right, But he doesn't have
a good defense. He doesn't have He just knows how
to fucking.
Speaker 2 (50:22):
Nail you that well. He was a better fighter.
Speaker 1 (50:24):
But I didn't like that they blamed it on you
and that mask that that you created for him. Give
me a break. It's up to the fighter to fight,
it's up to the athlete to perform. Thank you for that,
And he was up against one of the toughest I
wake up right and give me you death threats.
Speaker 2 (50:42):
Yeah, it was bad. Well, he's a scapegoat. He lost
the fight because of his outfit.
Speaker 1 (50:48):
That's all legle, that's fragile mail ego.
Speaker 2 (50:50):
He can't take the truth came out. Who's that sportscaster
from New York. He goes, he didn't lose the fight
for the fucking outfit. He just got his ass, motherfucking
go Okay, he was not prepared for that fight. Don't
blame that fucking designer. And then on the cover I
think of La Times was like the outfit one. Yeah,
(51:10):
there you go. Loss. So I'm waiting for Deyonce's phone call.
I'm like, Deyonce, why'd you throw me under the bus?
You know, I'm pissed right because, he goes, You'll be
with me forever. Cosmo Beyonce said the same thing. So
I finally I'm at the Daia and me and my
business partner were pissed off. We're like, why do you
(51:30):
do that to us? He goes, Guys, I am so sorry.
He goes it was FaceTime. He goes, it wasn't me.
It was my coach who wanted who blamed you? It
got out there with social media. He goes, Cosmo, You're
going to be with me to the end. But that
was the end. It was, and then he fought again.
(51:51):
I made the outfit again. I blessed it from African
uh we did these beans from Africa. Really got into it.
And then he just like he started losing losing.
Speaker 3 (52:03):
Yeah, it got really bad.
Speaker 2 (52:04):
It's actually I got more publicity from Deioncey. But Shaq
called me from beyond Deoncey. He goes, whatever you made Deioncey,
could you make me something? So he called me FaceTime
and I answered the phone. I'm like, oh my god,
it's Shack. Yeah, he goes, Cosmo, he goes, I got
your number from Deyoncey. Could you hook me up? And
then I started making clothes for a Shack.
Speaker 1 (52:24):
Okay, this is my final question because I have to
go to the airport. Can you style me the next
time I do a red carpet. I would love to
name your price. Yeah, I would love to name your price.
We'll talk, we'll talk, we'll talk in the dress someone
with the glory whole Okay, perfect.
Speaker 2 (52:39):
I would love to style you.
Speaker 1 (52:42):
I'll put it on now, I'll put it on that.
But then I gotta go to the airport. Okay, you guys,
I could talk to you all this and I just
got you aimingful for me to walk away from this
because I can talk to you all day. She's got
to pay.
Speaker 2 (52:52):
You gotta pay. Then he get the car.
Speaker 1 (52:54):
I gotta pa the Queen of Melrose aka Cosmo Lo mean.
Speaker 3 (53:04):
I'll be with Arikre.
Speaker 1 (53:06):
All right, listen up, we got some disposal for you.
Got a burning story that you're itching to tell about
when you bombed or absolutely failed in life. Now's your
chance to tell me all about it, Mabel. I want
to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what the fuck
was I thinking? What just happened moment? So pick up
your phone and dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven
(53:28):
one six two six six twenty four sixty four and
leave me a voicemail and we might just.
Speaker 2 (53:33):
Play it on a future episode.
Speaker 1 (53:35):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our producer
is Bei Wang, our research assistant is David Carliner, our
editor in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is
by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and drop
a review on your podcast have a choice
Host
Eric Andre
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