June 25, 2025 • 38 mins
Eric and Mississippi's finest Jay Jurden share stories together about being in a sauna with Michael B. Jordan and singing your way out of a bombing moment. Jay talks about his experience performing in the afternoon at a lecture hall and Eric shares his about performing in cafeterias. They also discuss performing in front of 12 people, how no one laughing makes you second guess everything. Eric brings up Capone again and is still haunted by that experience. Lastly, what's up with Ice Spice? What's a munch?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What up, everyone, It's Eric and Andre. Welcome back to Bombing,
where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative
people about their worst moments on stage and just stinking
it up in front of a live audience. I hope
you're having a good week. I hung out with the
hilarious Jay Jurden and we talked about doing stand up
in New York City and the most unconventional spaces to perform.
He has a very silly story about doing stand up
(00:21):
in a lecture hall with a podium being a stage,
and more stuff unravels from his tales on the road.
Let's get into.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It Bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Okay, ladies and gentlemen. You know him as a comedian,
a writer, an actor, an activist, an artist, a sex symbol.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All right.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
He's from the economically depressed state of Mississippi. Jay Jerden,
everybody certainly depressed as well. And I've never been to Mississippis.
I'm talking shit, it might be, it might be, it
might be Valhalla.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I think Mississippi is.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I just know Mississippi burning.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
It's emblematic of everything about America. William Faukner has a
quote where it says to know a place like Mississippi
is to know America or something to that end.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Does he know William Faulkner, He was fucking prick.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
He knew He's very dead.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
But okay, no, I think that, like every every issue
that we have in America is magnified and also kind
of like on a grander scale in Mississippi in what sense,
in the sense that like, are you worried about gun violence?
Mississippi is a place where you can actually look at
the effects of gun violence. Are you worried about minority
(01:42):
rule by white people having power for centuries over black
and brown people?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Mississippi is a great example of that.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Are you worried about our economic income disparity, where like
the top percent have so much more than the rest
of the country. Mississippi is an example of that. Are
you worried about abortion rights being taken away? Mississippians example
of that? Are you worried about.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, it seems like a real fun place. Have you
there a health nut?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yes? I mean my favorite.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
My favorite healthy snack in Mississippi is compi with corn syrup.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That is like diabetes and a bite.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Man, get a couple of bites.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I got a sweet to You got a sweet tooth.
Now you're in great shape, especially for Mississippi. Like god,
damn chisel peptides. I saw Kumel in person, and you're jealous.
He's thick. He's thinking enough for the Chippendale Show.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But he's thinking, he's thinking up for the Chippendeill show.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And if you watch it, he's not a strippers boss.
That's a that's a wild thing. Should I start doing peptides?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
As I drink and then I get what do you
what you like drinking?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Drinking is your vice?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
So the so the calories from the drinks is what.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
You get, like cocktails like sweet cock good?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You good too.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Honestly, I think that makes you a feminist icon because
you're not beholden to these male sensibilities that people a spouse.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
You can drink the grain drink. You drink a pink drink.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I'm drinking pink.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Don't drink a cosmo right now? Hell yeah you no hesitation?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Are cosmos here?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Do you drink?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I drink. I don't drink a lot right now?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
How old are you that rough had a birthday? You're
like thirty twenty nine. It's very sweet you're young.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I love this conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You're like, I'm sixty.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yeah, that's what I can tell you about Mississippi. I
was there when they break the water holes?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Is on us?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'm marched. Listen, look ahead, young blood.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I was it with doctor King. Could you could tell
me anything? You can tell me you're twenty one or
fifty five.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
I'm in the same age as a euphoria teen That's
what I'll saying.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So you're young.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
No, I'm the same ages. Like, I'm the same age
as the people they cast as teenagers. So I'm in
my thirties. Okay, that's great. But is Zendaya?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I think she's late twenties.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Do you look to her for Yeah, because I want to.
I want to fuck Tom Holland. Yeah, that's is that
your celebrity crush? No white guys on your race? No,
my my celebrity crush. If there was a person who
literally could like make me go to my husband, Sorry,
I have to leave.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Zendia is on the.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
List well because she is so much bigger than sexuality.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
And prefer she is beauty.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I get that.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Do you understand you put a garment on her? There's
that famous photo of her Michael B. Jordan wearing the
same suit, and she looks so much better than him.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, he had tube buff No, I don't say that
might be he's on the list?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Is he number two? He's stared into the center of
my penis? Sometimes, you know, tell the story behind this, Okay.
So I was making bad trip in Atlanta, Georgia. So
Michael B. Jordan has seen into your Yeah, and it
was an accident. The window to the soul, that's right.
Most people think it's the eyes, no, no, no, but
(05:08):
it's the dick hole.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Starts. I went to the Four Seasons to you know,
making that movie is very stressful, so I went to
the Four Seasons on a weekend.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I did not expect this story to start at the
four season.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, started at the Four Seasons. So I was at
the Spa, in the men's section of the spa, clothing optional, sauna,
steam room. I'm in the sauna. I'm there forever. Yeah,
I'm bopping between the steam room, the sauna, whatever, and
no one's there. Everything, nobody's there, and I'm like, you
know what, no one's been here for like an hour,
(05:45):
so comfortable, and then I just take off my bathroom.
I'm spread eagle in the sauna, yes, lo and behold
the sauna the way the doors face a glass door,
and I'm like sitting right there. It's a small sauna,
spread eagle. No one's there forever, All of a sudden,
movie star Apollo Creed wherever he plays, Michael B. Jordan
(06:06):
comes around the corner and like walks and then he
looks and makes eye cod me. He looks down at
my dick. He looks back into my eyes, and then
he just reversed moon walks out of his spot. Didn't
get undrunk, didn't he just was like nope.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Oh my god, he left. Could I say something that
is such a bro response is just like oh my
oh oh oh, okay, my bad your I didn't know,
ain't even it wasn't even my bad.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It was like, look, it was like eye contact, dick,
eye contact, eye contact.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Can I tell you what my response would have been.
I would have looked at your dick without seeing your
face and went.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Conduct man my profile picture. But so, Zendiah, would you
put them in that or Zendaya first?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Zendayah. Michael B.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Jordan is somewhere in the top five. I also who's
like I'm trying to think of like a young like
white guys. I think like Steve Lazy, young, cute. No,
Steve Lazy has that quote where he said he sees
black man and his brother, so he can't hook up
with him. No, no, no, I will listen. Put it
in my face. That's the craziest thing you can say.
(07:26):
You can be like, I'm currently dating and or fucking
a white guy, but you can't be like and this
other race.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I only see you as ken I could never what.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I think he's figuring it out.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
He also, I think he also.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I think Steve Lazy was that was also around the
time probably where he was like in the internet, like
the group, and like he probably was just saying wowhit. Yeah,
he was probably saying wow shit and never thought it
would blow up. So then when you have a year
like he did last year, everything comes back out.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Trying to think of who else is the celebrity that
wouldn't get me in trouble If I was.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Like, oh they're so fucking hot. Oh okay, nobody's listening.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You can say whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Okay, So this is do you know who Manny just no, no,
not many, but thinking you know who managed Decento is no,
he is so hot he managed Manny is just like no,
it's not Rhonda s looking it up, Randa Sanda is
in those boots, in those he was just one of
those boots, my girl, Ronda and man is Manny Manny
(08:33):
j A C I N t oh I.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
He was an actor, he was on the place.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
He's he's with a Latin name. And how Philippines work Filipino,
that's what assumes very handsome was right.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
He looks cut, he looks drawn. Look at that jaw line.
I want to just slice my yorder that is. He's
so hot. He he's barbied all hot.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Do you have an understanding with your husband?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Do you get it?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Do you get as if something like that can?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Can I say something? Hell, mother fucking is that a
fifty to fifty even split?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I don't believe what.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I will let you know right now.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And because you said no one's listening to this podcast,
I will tell you there are people who aren't even
super famous that I feel like I could get a
pass with.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Really yes, I mean and does it work the same
way though? Will you give him the same, and there's
no jealousy or.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
No jealousy all.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
In fact, what do you guys communicate?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
In fact as a queer couple, we don't even say
we're open. We just say we're mature, we're adults. Now
we're realistic.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's an easier that's an easier pitch. Okay to dudes,
guy and a girl more often? What did you say?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
That used to be straight?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
That used to be the case, and now straight women
are starting to chill act because of TikTok You think so? No,
I think one day people will be able to be
a bit more honest with their desires and their need
for you know, listen, love is a great song, but
every great song needs a remix, do you understand.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
With a recodre? With a recdre.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Now, you're a big qan on guy, right.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I'm a huge QAnon guy. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Huge.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I love it. I can't get enough.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Because you're from Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Oh yeah, And I'm here to tell you about.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Because I will say this in regards to QAnon as
a queer stand up who like is having like a
little bit of fun success. I'm upset that I haven't
been invited to the obligatory bisexual orgies in Hollywood. Yet Yeah,
the funniest part about everyone being like, you know, when
you get to Hollywood, they're gonna make you do gay stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
My response was always like make they're.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Gonna make me might. Now when you first moved to
New York as a Mississippian where you're like intimidated.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I was.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So I didn't know there was this, I'll say, the
most Mississippi thing ever. I didn't know there were so
many different types of Mexican people. But you know what happened, Like,
oh lord, so what happened? Yeah, so I've some family
from Louisiana. But what happened is that I went to
(11:37):
school in Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Then I went to which I don't know if you
can believe it, they got them.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
We went to school in Mississippi and then went to
school in someplace very different, Alabama. And then because I
had like a BFA and an MFA and acting, I
moved here and signed with a horrible agency and they
did not care about me at all. They sent me
to the worst auditions. And then I started doing stand
(12:01):
up because I wanted to, Like, I donet stand up
a little bit in Mississippi, But did you stand up
in Mississippi and Alabama.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Back in the day, it was like maybe you get
to do.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
A show a month, right, and they'll be like, oh
whens your next show. You'll be like in a couple
of months, I think, right, I'm going to get to
host this benefit right, like it's never.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But then you got here and you were pounding the payment.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Well, you get here and I sign like we had this.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There was a really cool website back in the day,
free mics dot Com, where you could just find where
all the open mics were in the city, some of
them free.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Someone were like drink.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
You know with the site. When I first moved here
twenty years ago, what it was called chuckle monkey?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
No no, no, no, can I say new favorite slur,
new favorite slur?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
My god, I was like chuckle monk, chuckle monk? Oh
right right?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Type of that end.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Hmmm.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I don't even want to see the image. I don't
even want to see the image. Why is this monkey
dressed like Richard pryor chuckle Ben Head? No, no, Benveren's
chicken George?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
All right, bombing, let's talk about the premise of this
fucking podcast. What's the worst you ever bombed. You can
do this in any order. Okay, worst you ever bomb,
wor'st bomb you ever witnessed, Most wasted you've been on stage?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Okay, worst I've ever bombed. There's two.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
So like you don't want to count some of the
early ones, but there was this one ken Okay, So
like you have like a couple of good mics, a
couple of good like bar shows you. I went up
on one show early. I want to say, this had
to be like twenty sixteen Mississippi. No, no, no. This
was in New York, so the New York bombs hit different.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh they're tough.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
It was in the East Village. I believe it was
twenty seventeen. I went up. A woman who was in
town from LA was kind of at this like produced mike,
and she like was talking to me and she was like, oh,
I can't wait to watch your set because we had
like a good conversation. Yeah, which she stay. I went
up on stage. Who first joke nothing, second joke nothing.
(14:06):
The venue I think it's closed since the comedy club
or a bar. It was a bar, okay, okay, so
it was like already gonna not be the best show,
but like crickets from a bar, and like people were
there and people were there like watching, so it was
a bigger crowd than they usually had, and so she
was there from my la.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
We just had a good conversation in a bar. I was turning.
I was like, oh yeah, I'm actually like really enjoying
you in comedy in New York right now.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Oh my god, I made it so much worse.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I talked about like not having anything in my bank
account in a way that was just so unfunny. And
I was like, okay, But then I couldn't be like,
but look at these rich motherfuckers, because I know they
weren't so it when like it wasn't I wasn't being relatable.
I just was not being funny. I just like slogged
through that. And then I like tried to sing, and
(14:55):
that also like didn't work. No, it was embarrassing. Yes,
I tried to like make a joke about that bomb,
about the bombs that were currently happening on the.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Show people before you on the show doing okay, Yes,
oh that's rough. Yeah everyone was bombing. You could write
it off, but every well it was and then you're
just stinking.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
It was one of those It was one of those
places where like I wouldn't go down that street to
that bar for like a good month because I was like, man,
I don't even I don't got to put myself through that.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I don't got to reopen that wound.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
How did you end the set?
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Well, probably with like well just because like you don't
have anything. You like have like a couple of heaters,
and like when those work, what's it?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Okay, that's the crazy part. So that's like twenty seventeen.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
So like twenty nineteen, I'm on like this tiny little
college tour that I got from doing NAKA, which is
like yo digital a bunch of college and some of
the shows are like great. Some of the shows though
at these colleges they say, oh, you're going to do
a show?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Are you ready for this?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:59):
At this time, so I want everyone's the afternoon. I
had a show at one pm at a college I
want to say it was in Missouri.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
It was somewhere in the Midwest.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Because I was driving to three different shows over the
over like a five day period. I go to do
a show in one of their smaller lecture halls, so
I'm not even on a stage.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I'm like in an e lecture.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Hall with a slightly elevated surface with a lectern and
a podium.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Like a classroom.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yes where they.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It was a classroom.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
The amount of people in there, twelve twelve people in
the daytime to see me do an hour of comedy.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
At AUM at a podium?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Are you.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Overhead projector Eric? I could hear the spit in people's mouths?
Do you know this sound? What are those twelve people doing?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Though?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
I questioned them a little bit, but what do they want?
Because the school was probably like there's a comedian and
they're like tonight. They're like no, no, no, don't worry this afternoon.
What Yeah, there's gonna be some subway sandwiches afterwards. Do
you have a stable whole thing? You gotta save a
whole thing. Get the sandwich? Okay, So you just gotta
wait them out. So you gotta wait them out.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
The first joke doesn't go well, and then you're like, great,
I have fifty seven minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
The thing you say is like, what's up?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
What I could do? You want to do? I just
need to say roll for this class. You just need
to like talk to y'all, what's happening? And like the
chuckles there are also so light because there's no way
for a group of twelve people in the afternoon to
jell enough to last as like a unit.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
There's no hive mind, there's no synchronous no, there's no cohesion.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
It's so just like momentum stopping. And so like those
are the worst shows that are college shows. College shows
are the worst shows. I love the college shows that
I've done recently, and I love doing college shows when
they're big enough crowds and when like everything goes right.
But for that particular college show, oh well they're produced
(18:10):
by college children, so they're not gonna be But once again,
ults are rough. Let me tell every college student listening,
bring Jay to your campus at night at.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Venue where there's where there's a stage. Because I used
to perform in the cafeterias, the cafetorium, yeah, while people
were ordering chicken nuggs.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
The caffetoria, gymnasiums.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Oh there was like because like sometimes there's like that
fun happy accident, Like one time me and ze Nab Johnson,
who's like this black Muslim woman from Harlem, and my
queer Mississippi ass performed in Utah and we were like, oh,
it was great, it was wonderful. But this ship in
Missouri in the fucking afternoon for twelve people, and they
(18:56):
wanted me to stay afterwards and eat sandwiches with them.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
I'm in bear.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
No, it's that cool.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's that cool. Yeah, we've all been there. Those shows
make you. They made you the man you are.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Today, because like for an hour, that's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Like when you bomb in the city, maybe you bomb
for ten minutes, you bomb for twelve minutes, you get
out of there, U skidado, right, You know, there's a
lot you can.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Do right for for an hour. An hour is it's
the longest hour of your life. But at that point
halfway through, you just got to do crowd work right
or something, or just you talk to them.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
You just start commenting on everything. Yeah, you just start
laughing in real time about your plight.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I kind of like look at the if there's a clock,
and I look at the like student activity board member
that has my paycheck in those Yeah, I'm like kind
of like checking in with them constantly, like can it's
fifty five minutes enough? It's forty five. What gets me
that check in your pocket? It gets me out of
here to my three air tran flo.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh my god, No, it was even crazy for me
because it was in a hotel, rented a car and
drove to all these different places to go back to
that hotel to then finally fly out.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So it was like a wasteland. It's so spacious, it's vast.
It's so vast that you were like, what did the
pioneers The pioneers needed to kill all the Native Americans
for what for? Like it was room for it was room.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Room.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
We don't need all of Montana, you don't need we
need two Dakotas.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
It's a wasteland.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
I mean, like those are two bombs that like I
will never forget. They're like carved into my person traumatized,
not just traumatized, but learned so quickly what a real
bomb is because oh you know that show, I didn't
feel like I did my best. You were because you'll
be thinking like a six out of ten as a bomb,
(20:57):
NA like a true bomb. Like silence, Oh yes, silence
wakes you up. Squeaky chairs, Yeah, people staring at you,
the back of your neck is hot ears are hot.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
You' you like people talk about shaking on camera and
you go, WHOA, why are you that nervous?
Speaker 4 (21:15):
You go, oh, yeah, this is this is when people shake.
Oh yeah, this is when you go just start to
be like what it's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
My biggest fear of bombing on TV.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I mean the first time I did stand up on television,
it was live at Gotham, and I was so unbelievably
nervous that I was like blackout for the first half
of my set. Don't remember it completely, like under anesthesia,
like propofall, like yeah to pro fall before I was
on stage, don't remember completely. And I made the mistake
(21:44):
of inviting like all my like high school friends I
grew up with. Yeah, they're like in the front row too,
which is like just such this unbelievable added pressure that
I would never ever do again.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, it's an insane stand up comedy. It's not that
old either. It's likely ninety years old, right, How old
is stand up comedy?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I mean, if it's like one hundred years old, true
true stand up comedy. If we're talking about like the
way that we all kind of look at it now,
like we'd have to say the sixties, so you're right,
it's not that old, and then.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
The fifty sixty years old.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, because then like the seventies is like the ramp up.
In the eighties is the explosion, and the nineties like
so like it is weird to be like, oh, this
thing that we kind of see as like being here forever.
It definitely came out of a vaudevillian tradition, came out
of like it came out technically, it came out of
like mister shows, We've to do it, but okayny.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
For more answers, smash that subscribe button.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
But like the wildest part is that the stand up
is fairly young and it's still ever evolving and morphing,
and like, I'm this weird combination of like I have
fairly traditional set up, punchline ship, but also people are like,
but you're you're queer, and I'm like yeah, And people
still will be like, if you're a black person who
does stand up comedy in a certain way in certain
(23:08):
rooms will be like this is groundbreak, and you'll be like, no, no,
this is just stand up. Stop stop thinking it's groundbreak. Yeah, yeah,
you have to remove yourself from this logic. Yeah, the groundbreaking. No, no, no,
I'm not the first person to talk in front of people.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, how are you? How have you done like coming
up at like black shows like black.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Here's here's a crazy part. Black rooms love confidence a
lot of people. I mean, if we talk when I
was coming up so much, if we talk about the
famous for capone, it was not a fucking pleasure experience.
I'm gonna see you on like a Who's a entertainment?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Who's the dude? Uh?
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Teach them, mother fucking k you know T. K. Kirkland show.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah, that's too black for me.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Only half.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
That flew over my head. Give me Anthony Brown reference
or something brown.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Here's okay. So here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
I think that like black rooms, they make you work
and so like there was.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Like a hood room.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, like like like a mother like a hood room
where it's like when they say this is motheruck chocolate
night like that kind of ship. Yeah, we're clubs like listen, okay,
I've done okay because from Mississippi and also like because
i'm book flor Well, if you're like here's if you're
queer black people, if you can play with it and
(24:40):
play around it, and about it and have jokes about it.
Black people be like, oh, at Last's motherfucker knows. It's
when people like start to get cagey. It's when people
like really don't know themselves. Like one of my favorite
jokes that works so well in black rooms is that
go I'm a black queer man also known as a
gospel choir.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Director, and like they they got thing.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Yeah, there's always going to be because like people forget, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I went to a ninety percent black high school.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Like my ship growing up was like I was like
watching Laguna Beach in secret, but like all my so
many of my homeboys were like, just you won't watch
Paid in full? I was like, I love Cameron, Cameron jobs,
dip Set, dip Set all day.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Have you I mean you're in Deepset's neighborhood. Have you
run into them?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
No? A person I see the most dream The person
I see the most is Dave East, who's a rapper
from East Harlem.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
I'm in Harlem.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Who else is up there? Ice Spice she's.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
North of me. That's like one third. That's grand concourse,
she's up there. Do you like Ice Spice?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I love Ice Spice.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Are you excited for a light skinned renaissance.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Are you excited? I would wait, yes, sindbads and bad health.
So we need something. We needed ice, spice to.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Take the reins.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And it is wild that like she truly dead eyes
though I would I feel like she's in North Korean
hostage a little bit. No, I got those Selena Gomez
dead inside.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I think it's so crazy she truly brought munch people
like people who know about the word. So many people
shouldn't even know where the fucking mounch is.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Tell me what a month is?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
A month?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
This is what I would say. A month is a
monch is a man who, with the press of a
button will come and do anything for you as a
girl who's like got it on lock. If he's just
a month, he's like just a guy who like you
can be like I need you come eat this pussy.
He'll show up like that. You'd be like, I need
a new bag like that. Paint me monch, eric Andre?
(26:36):
Are you ready for this Deadline article? Eric Andre comes
out as a munch. Jordan Poole, the NBA player, apparently
allegedly spend like I want to say, like five hundred
thousand dollars on like Day to Ice, Spice and Cam
and Mace were like man, she from the Bronx. She
would have madd with a slice of pizza.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Come on, yeah, you don't have to do that. That's
In's saying. That's fucking outrageous.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
NBA players.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
That's what happens. I've never dated the NBA player, but
you could. None of them are out, doesn't mean you
can't take them. Jason Collins is the only is the
only one that was ever a little gay was gay.
And I hate to say this about Jason Collins. Listen,
I love what you did for diversity in visibility, but
he wasn't even that good.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So it is hard. That's mean I shouldn't say it out.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
With Aridre.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
With Aridre, what's the worst bomb you ever witnessed? Is
there one that you have that you witnessed that was
a fucking You don't have to name the person if
they're your friend, or you can call them mister and missus.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
A or whatever.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay, this is uh, this is something I won't put
them on front street. Sloan. No, I've never seen bomb.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
The scariest thing I've seen Dulce do is I've seen
someone like try to be overly familiar with Dulce and
she didn't know them and she shouldn't shipped down quick
Like someone like came in I think for a kiss
and she was like.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Ah, no, no, you have to earn earn that kiss.
I was like, the bomb with her.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
They bombed, Yeah, that thing they got banned with her?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Who did you see?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Who did you?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Have you ever seen someone not read the room? And
so I've seen and this is something that like I'll
actually talk about. I've seen a person who really wanted
to do their club set in a non club space
in Brooklyn because there.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
It was like a hipster audience and they wanted to.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Just hipster like they want a little bit looser.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
They wanted things that were a bit more kind of
like idiosyncratic. Yeah, a little tall tea, but like it's
truly just they just wanted a bit more authenticity. And
this person came so polished and so buttoned and just
really wanted to get that type five out and like
punchlines that I know probably work in Midtown and that
(29:18):
work for certain audiences. Just I saw a lot of
people with dyed hair just be like boom because they
just didn't accept that this crowd was gonna be a
little different.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
They got kind of like a right wing kind of guy.
Or it wasn't right wing.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I don't even think I think he's definitely like, no,
it wasn't political, but like it was so the opposite of.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
What they want.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
This crowd wanted in a way that was almost disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
They wanted R and B and he was playing country.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Not only they I don't even think they wanted R
and B. They wanted the B side of a band
that you've never heard. And he was playing Top forty.
He wanted to just playing Top forty. He was playing forty
from like a year ago, So they will get it.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Maniscalco. It was it was again and and we've never
heard from him since. Yeah, who was it?
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Just telling him?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I can't tell you hell no, no, no, no no. I
just I just love the fact that that hot goss.
I'm trying to think of the.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
What's some hot guys? Oh, I've seen not a bomb,
but it was like silly. One time Jim Gaffigan dropped
in to do a show at sent Up, New York,
and I was hosting, and he fell.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah, and like walking up to the stage.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Yeah, I mean I got a picture of him getting up.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
It's like, because I just want you to know something
like boom, he's a tall guy too.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
He's a tall man. He'll say he's a he's a
bigger man. Yeah, and he was slow to get up
to Like that's what I'm it was not fake. There
are people who thought it was fake.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
That ship was very real.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
And Jim Gapagan is so funny, but like you could
tell because like physical bit term really is things. So
when he fell, some people were like, there's Jim being
Jim again, but like people want to know, were like, no, what,
what what's going on?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
He got really pissed at me one time I was
at I was at some bar.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I want a full list of all the people who
have gotten really pissed at you.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Gosh, how much time do you get?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Are you ready to laugh? Look at look at that?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Oh oh my god, are you ready for that?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
That's also me telling the crowd not to laugh. He's like, yeah,
he just like fell that.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
You posted it too, he because and then people were like, Jay,
do you think it was a fault? I was like,
if he's that good at physical comedy.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
He should he he'd be in every movie doing that.
It was like Chris Pratt level. I mean it was
like Chris Farley level, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, Prat fall.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
So humiliated and like he I think he like said
one joke. He was like, no, I just stay down
here because I keep in mind I also have to
step over.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Him to get got it's stage. It's this big.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
We're on the number West Side.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
It was wild.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
These people like erupted when I said Jim Gaffigan was
going to do the show. He comes up, but.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
He got really angry at me one time. And it
was an accidental like I went to this show and
uh it was like a small show downtown Lower East Side,
and I went and there was only one seat in
the back available. I wanted to sit amongst the comics.
The comics were lurking in the back and Pete Holmes
was there. A bunch of communities were there, and like
(32:54):
I went to sit in the one available seat, and
everyone was like, oh, that's gaffikin seat. Oh, don't take
that seat, that's caff seat. Oh. And they were all
like weirdly kissing his ass, and I was like, whatever,
we're at a bar. He didn't claim the seat, like
he's walking around like let me sit. I was like huh.
And then so when I got and then when he
walked back, I went to him and he thought I
(33:15):
was fucking with him. He had no context. I was like,
is this your seat? Is this your seat? Sir?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Sir?
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I'm so sorry I took your seat. But he's like
he didn't know the setup.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Yeah he didn't say that.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, he didn't say he didn't hear them like weirdly
brown nosing him and like like like bowning to his feet.
So he just thought I was like being some prick
for some reason. And he was like he looked at
me like, what the fuck is your.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Nah ship?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And he's big, he's got like big needy hands, like
he like he might not be fast, but if he
got like one, yeah, yeah you have to.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
So I hope he's not still mad at me.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
But I think like five seconds later he forgot that
whole thing them good. I already gets into it, goes
into a rage, so he told me he goes into rage.
Who I kind of like that seething anger, seething dark anger.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I feel like a lot of comics probably either go
into rage or just like become silly. Yeah, they either
scream or they just start laughing at everything. Like it's
the two sides of the coin.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I think I'm on the last the laugh.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah, that's a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, seating rage was before therapy, but they're still there's
still I like, I'll like.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Scream if like it's the last resort, because I don't
even think it's violent. I just think it's a show
that like you get it out well. Because one time
me and my friend were walking to our train and
this group of kids was like, hey, do you guys
have any weed. We're like, we'll have any weed. And
like when I say kids, I mean like teenagers. So
I didn't feel bad screaming at them and they asked
(34:54):
us again. I was like, we'll have any weeds, and
then they like touched my friend and I was like.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
What the fuck are y'all doing?
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Yeah, because like we're nice dudes, some crazy person's gonna
beat the ship out of y'all. I'm like screaming at
these kids to teach them a lesson.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeast, you have to keep those teenagers online.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
They're gonna bowl over you if you don't.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Yeah, yeah, you hear that. Spare the Rod, spoil the child, Mississippi.
Beat your Kids? Can that be a sound drop? Can
we put that on the board?
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Joe Kids, there we go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That's still gonna be the intro and outro of every episode.
Beat your Kids, anything else.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
Everyone, don't be afraid to bomb, don't pursue it, don't
don't don't chase it. But them, shit's gonna happen. It
happens to the best people. They're just really famous. The
Chris Rock story about him like hearing Martin Lawrence like
destroy before him in Chicago.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And he's like, what's going on?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
It's crazy And he goes out and he bombs because
like Martin Lawrence had basically like laughed the crowd into exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Yeah, he was like, god damn.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
And that's one of the most I mean, that's a
bomb that led to it an illustrious career.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
That was his first early bomb.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
That was like a bomber after that's now no, I
think he was established enough to like do a show.
But you know how like sometimes famous people and it
happens now because everyone is part of the reason why
they're yonder pouches, Like you know, anyone working on a
new hour. That's of note. You kind of are like,
you almost have to be like, hey, some of this
shit ain't hidden yet. And then some crowds are like,
(36:30):
that motherfucker wasn't as funny? Is that thing he worked
on for three years?
Speaker 3 (36:33):
How dare you?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
And you're like, well, that's You're part of the process
of me coming out with something new in the next
three years.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So we're working on this together. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
But I mean I think that like if I learned anything,
no college shows in the daytime ever, because that shit
sticks with me. Like someone could be like, oh, Jay,
I love your tonight your set, and I'd be like,
but what about.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
That college show in the daytime? At one time?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
I can still see the face of this very round
white face of this guy wearing a hoodie and he
shook his head at one point during my show, and
I was like, I'm there with your brother. I'm black
people should be on stage. You're right, I ain't crushing it. God,
just this round midwestern face. Oh, I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Well, Jay, thank you, thank.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
You, This is fun.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, come back anytime.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
I'll with Avery Codre all right, listen up, we got
something special for you got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Mabel.
Speaker 5 (37:38):
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 1 (37:43):
What just happened? Moment?
Speaker 5 (37:45):
So pick up your phone and dial seven one six Bombing.
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and we might just
play it on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre
is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar.
Our producer is Bei Wang. Our research assistant is David Carliner.
(38:07):
Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art
is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and
drop a review on your podcast app a choice beat
your Kids
What up, everyone, It's Eric and Andre. Welcome back to Bombing,
where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative
people about their worst moments on stage and just stinking
it up in front of a live audience. I hope
you're having a good week. I hung out with the
hilarious Jay Jurden and we talked about doing stand up
in New York City and the most unconventional spaces to perform.
He has a very silly story about doing stand up
(00:21):
in a lecture hall with a podium being a stage,
and more stuff unravels from his tales on the road.
Let's get into.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
It Bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Okay, ladies and gentlemen. You know him as a comedian,
a writer, an actor, an activist, an artist, a sex symbol.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
All right.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
He's from the economically depressed state of Mississippi. Jay Jerden,
everybody certainly depressed as well. And I've never been to Mississippis.
I'm talking shit, it might be, it might be, it
might be Valhalla.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I think Mississippi is.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
I just know Mississippi burning.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
It's emblematic of everything about America. William Faukner has a
quote where it says to know a place like Mississippi
is to know America or something to that end.
Speaker 1 (01:13):
Does he know William Faulkner, He was fucking prick.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
He knew He's very dead.
Speaker 4 (01:19):
But okay, no, I think that, like every every issue
that we have in America is magnified and also kind
of like on a grander scale in Mississippi in what sense,
in the sense that like, are you worried about gun violence?
Mississippi is a place where you can actually look at
the effects of gun violence. Are you worried about minority
(01:42):
rule by white people having power for centuries over black
and brown people?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
Mississippi is a great example of that.
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Are you worried about our economic income disparity, where like
the top percent have so much more than the rest
of the country. Mississippi is an example of that. Are
you worried about abortion rights being taken away? Mississippians example
of that? Are you worried about.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, it seems like a real fun place. Have you
there a health nut?
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Yes? I mean my favorite.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
My favorite healthy snack in Mississippi is compi with corn syrup.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
That is like diabetes and a bite.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Man, get a couple of bites.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
I got a sweet to You got a sweet tooth.
Now you're in great shape, especially for Mississippi. Like god,
damn chisel peptides. I saw Kumel in person, and you're jealous.
He's thick. He's thinking enough for the Chippendale Show.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
But he's thinking, he's thinking up for the Chippendeill show.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
And if you watch it, he's not a strippers boss.
That's a that's a wild thing. Should I start doing peptides?
Speaker 3 (02:55):
No?
Speaker 1 (02:55):
As I drink and then I get what do you
what you like drinking?
Speaker 3 (03:00):
Drinking is your vice?
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:01):
So the so the calories from the drinks is what.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
You get, like cocktails like sweet cock good?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
You good too.
Speaker 4 (03:09):
Honestly, I think that makes you a feminist icon because
you're not beholden to these male sensibilities that people a spouse.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
You can drink the grain drink. You drink a pink drink.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
I'm drinking pink.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Don't drink a cosmo right now? Hell yeah you no hesitation?
Speaker 3 (03:21):
Are cosmos here?
Speaker 1 (03:22):
Do you drink?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I drink. I don't drink a lot right now?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
No?
Speaker 1 (03:27):
How old are you that rough had a birthday? You're
like thirty twenty nine. It's very sweet you're young.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
I love this conversation.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
You're like, I'm sixty.
Speaker 4 (03:37):
Yeah, that's what I can tell you about Mississippi. I
was there when they break the water holes?
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Is on us?
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I'm marched. Listen, look ahead, young blood.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
I was it with doctor King. Could you could tell
me anything? You can tell me you're twenty one or
fifty five.
Speaker 4 (03:52):
I'm in the same age as a euphoria teen That's
what I'll saying.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
So you're young.
Speaker 4 (03:59):
No, I'm the same ages. Like, I'm the same age
as the people they cast as teenagers. So I'm in
my thirties. Okay, that's great. But is Zendaya?
Speaker 3 (04:07):
I think she's late twenties.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
Do you look to her for Yeah, because I want to.
I want to fuck Tom Holland. Yeah, that's is that
your celebrity crush? No white guys on your race? No,
my my celebrity crush. If there was a person who
literally could like make me go to my husband, Sorry,
I have to leave.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
Zendia is on the.
Speaker 4 (04:27):
List well because she is so much bigger than sexuality.
Speaker 3 (04:32):
And prefer she is beauty.
Speaker 2 (04:35):
I get that.
Speaker 4 (04:35):
Do you understand you put a garment on her? There's
that famous photo of her Michael B. Jordan wearing the
same suit, and she looks so much better than him.
Speaker 3 (04:42):
Yeah, he had tube buff No, I don't say that
might be he's on the list?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Is he number two? He's stared into the center of
my penis? Sometimes, you know, tell the story behind this, Okay.
So I was making bad trip in Atlanta, Georgia. So
Michael B. Jordan has seen into your Yeah, and it
was an accident. The window to the soul, that's right.
Most people think it's the eyes, no, no, no, but
(05:08):
it's the dick hole.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
So it.
Speaker 1 (05:12):
Starts. I went to the Four Seasons to you know,
making that movie is very stressful, so I went to
the Four Seasons on a weekend.
Speaker 3 (05:21):
I did not expect this story to start at the
four season.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Yeah, started at the Four Seasons. So I was at
the Spa, in the men's section of the spa, clothing optional, sauna,
steam room. I'm in the sauna. I'm there forever. Yeah,
I'm bopping between the steam room, the sauna, whatever, and
no one's there. Everything, nobody's there, and I'm like, you
know what, no one's been here for like an hour,
(05:45):
so comfortable, and then I just take off my bathroom.
I'm spread eagle in the sauna, yes, lo and behold
the sauna the way the doors face a glass door,
and I'm like sitting right there. It's a small sauna,
spread eagle. No one's there forever, All of a sudden,
movie star Apollo Creed wherever he plays, Michael B. Jordan
(06:06):
comes around the corner and like walks and then he
looks and makes eye cod me. He looks down at
my dick. He looks back into my eyes, and then
he just reversed moon walks out of his spot. Didn't
get undrunk, didn't he just was like nope.
Speaker 4 (06:24):
Oh my god, he left. Could I say something that
is such a bro response is just like oh my
oh oh oh, okay, my bad your I didn't know,
ain't even it wasn't even my bad.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
It was like, look, it was like eye contact, dick,
eye contact, eye contact.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
Can I tell you what my response would have been.
I would have looked at your dick without seeing your
face and went.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Conduct man my profile picture. But so, Zendiah, would you
put them in that or Zendaya first?
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Zendayah. Michael B.
Speaker 4 (07:03):
Jordan is somewhere in the top five. I also who's
like I'm trying to think of like a young like
white guys. I think like Steve Lazy, young, cute. No,
Steve Lazy has that quote where he said he sees
black man and his brother, so he can't hook up
with him. No, no, no, I will listen. Put it
in my face. That's the craziest thing you can say.
(07:26):
You can be like, I'm currently dating and or fucking
a white guy, but you can't be like and this
other race.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
I only see you as ken I could never what.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
I think he's figuring it out.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
He also, I think he also.
Speaker 4 (07:39):
I think Steve Lazy was that was also around the
time probably where he was like in the internet, like
the group, and like he probably was just saying wowhit. Yeah,
he was probably saying wow shit and never thought it
would blow up. So then when you have a year
like he did last year, everything comes back out.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
Trying to think of who else is the celebrity that
wouldn't get me in trouble If I was.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
Like, oh they're so fucking hot. Oh okay, nobody's listening.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
You can say whatever you want.
Speaker 4 (08:08):
Okay, So this is do you know who Manny just no, no,
not many, but thinking you know who managed Decento is no,
he is so hot he managed Manny is just like no,
it's not Rhonda s looking it up, Randa Sanda is
in those boots, in those he was just one of
those boots, my girl, Ronda and man is Manny Manny
(08:33):
j A C I N t oh I.
Speaker 3 (08:37):
He was an actor, he was on the place.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
He's he's with a Latin name. And how Philippines work Filipino,
that's what assumes very handsome was right.
Speaker 4 (08:49):
He looks cut, he looks drawn. Look at that jaw line.
I want to just slice my yorder that is. He's
so hot. He he's barbied all hot.
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Do you have an understanding with your husband?
Speaker 2 (09:02):
Do you get it?
Speaker 1 (09:03):
Do you get as if something like that can?
Speaker 3 (09:07):
Can I say something? Hell, mother fucking is that a
fifty to fifty even split?
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I don't believe what.
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I will let you know right now.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
And because you said no one's listening to this podcast,
I will tell you there are people who aren't even
super famous that I feel like I could get a
pass with.
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Really yes, I mean and does it work the same
way though? Will you give him the same, and there's
no jealousy or.
Speaker 3 (09:32):
No jealousy all.
Speaker 1 (09:34):
In fact, what do you guys communicate?
Speaker 4 (09:36):
In fact as a queer couple, we don't even say
we're open. We just say we're mature, we're adults. Now
we're realistic.
Speaker 1 (09:45):
It's an easier that's an easier pitch. Okay to dudes,
guy and a girl more often? What did you say?
Speaker 3 (09:53):
That used to be straight?
Speaker 4 (09:55):
That used to be the case, and now straight women
are starting to chill act because of TikTok You think so? No,
I think one day people will be able to be
a bit more honest with their desires and their need
for you know, listen, love is a great song, but
every great song needs a remix, do you understand.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
With a recodre? With a recdre.
Speaker 1 (10:30):
Now, you're a big qan on guy, right.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
I'm a huge QAnon guy. Yeah.
Speaker 5 (10:35):
Huge.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
I love it. I can't get enough.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Because you're from Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (10:38):
Oh yeah, And I'm here to tell you about.
Speaker 4 (10:41):
Because I will say this in regards to QAnon as
a queer stand up who like is having like a
little bit of fun success. I'm upset that I haven't
been invited to the obligatory bisexual orgies in Hollywood. Yet Yeah,
the funniest part about everyone being like, you know, when
you get to Hollywood, they're gonna make you do gay stuff.
Speaker 3 (11:02):
My response was always like make they're.
Speaker 1 (11:05):
Gonna make me might. Now when you first moved to
New York as a Mississippian where you're like intimidated.
Speaker 2 (11:14):
I was.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
So I didn't know there was this, I'll say, the
most Mississippi thing ever. I didn't know there were so
many different types of Mexican people. But you know what happened, Like,
oh lord, so what happened? Yeah, so I've some family
from Louisiana. But what happened is that I went to
(11:37):
school in Mississippi.
Speaker 3 (11:38):
Then I went to which I don't know if you
can believe it, they got them.
Speaker 4 (11:41):
We went to school in Mississippi and then went to
school in someplace very different, Alabama. And then because I
had like a BFA and an MFA and acting, I
moved here and signed with a horrible agency and they
did not care about me at all. They sent me
to the worst auditions. And then I started doing stand
(12:01):
up because I wanted to, Like, I donet stand up
a little bit in Mississippi, But did you stand up
in Mississippi and Alabama.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
Back in the day, it was like maybe you get
to do.
Speaker 4 (12:08):
A show a month, right, and they'll be like, oh
whens your next show. You'll be like in a couple
of months, I think, right, I'm going to get to
host this benefit right, like it's never.
Speaker 1 (12:18):
But then you got here and you were pounding the payment.
Speaker 3 (12:20):
Well, you get here and I sign like we had this.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
There was a really cool website back in the day,
free mics dot Com, where you could just find where
all the open mics were in the city, some of
them free.
Speaker 3 (12:29):
Someone were like drink.
Speaker 1 (12:30):
You know with the site. When I first moved here
twenty years ago, what it was called chuckle monkey?
Speaker 4 (12:35):
No no, no, no, can I say new favorite slur,
new favorite slur?
Speaker 3 (12:44):
My god, I was like chuckle monk, chuckle monk? Oh
right right?
Speaker 1 (12:52):
Type of that end.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Hmmm.
Speaker 4 (12:54):
I don't even want to see the image. I don't
even want to see the image. Why is this monkey
dressed like Richard pryor chuckle Ben Head? No, no, Benveren's
chicken George?
Speaker 1 (13:08):
All right, bombing, let's talk about the premise of this
fucking podcast. What's the worst you ever bombed. You can
do this in any order. Okay, worst you ever bomb,
wor'st bomb you ever witnessed, Most wasted you've been on stage?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Okay, worst I've ever bombed. There's two.
Speaker 4 (13:21):
So like you don't want to count some of the
early ones, but there was this one ken Okay, So
like you have like a couple of good mics, a
couple of good like bar shows you. I went up
on one show early. I want to say, this had
to be like twenty sixteen Mississippi. No, no, no. This
was in New York, so the New York bombs hit different.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
Oh they're tough.
Speaker 4 (13:42):
It was in the East Village. I believe it was
twenty seventeen. I went up. A woman who was in
town from LA was kind of at this like produced mike,
and she like was talking to me and she was like, oh,
I can't wait to watch your set because we had
like a good conversation. Yeah, which she stay. I went
up on stage. Who first joke nothing, second joke nothing.
(14:06):
The venue I think it's closed since the comedy club
or a bar. It was a bar, okay, okay, so
it was like already gonna not be the best show,
but like crickets from a bar, and like people were
there and people were there like watching, so it was
a bigger crowd than they usually had, and so she
was there from my la.
Speaker 3 (14:25):
We just had a good conversation in a bar. I was turning.
I was like, oh yeah, I'm actually like really enjoying
you in comedy in New York right now.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
This is so cool.
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Oh my god, I made it so much worse.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I talked about like not having anything in my bank
account in a way that was just so unfunny. And
I was like, okay, But then I couldn't be like,
but look at these rich motherfuckers, because I know they
weren't so it when like it wasn't I wasn't being relatable.
I just was not being funny. I just like slogged
through that. And then I like tried to sing, and
(14:55):
that also like didn't work. No, it was embarrassing. Yes,
I tried to like make a joke about that bomb,
about the bombs that were currently happening on the.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Show people before you on the show doing okay, Yes,
oh that's rough. Yeah everyone was bombing. You could write
it off, but every well it was and then you're
just stinking.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
It was one of those It was one of those
places where like I wouldn't go down that street to
that bar for like a good month because I was like, man,
I don't even I don't got to put myself through that.
Speaker 3 (15:26):
I don't got to reopen that wound.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
How did you end the set?
Speaker 4 (15:29):
Well, probably with like well just because like you don't
have anything. You like have like a couple of heaters,
and like when those work, what's it?
Speaker 3 (15:42):
Okay, that's the crazy part. So that's like twenty seventeen.
Speaker 4 (15:45):
So like twenty nineteen, I'm on like this tiny little
college tour that I got from doing NAKA, which is
like yo digital a bunch of college and some of
the shows are like great. Some of the shows though
at these colleges they say, oh, you're going to do
a show?
Speaker 1 (15:58):
Are you ready for this?
Speaker 2 (15:59):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (15:59):
At this time, so I want everyone's the afternoon. I
had a show at one pm at a college I
want to say it was in Missouri.
Speaker 3 (16:06):
It was somewhere in the Midwest.
Speaker 4 (16:07):
Because I was driving to three different shows over the
over like a five day period. I go to do
a show in one of their smaller lecture halls, so
I'm not even on a stage.
Speaker 3 (16:19):
I'm like in an e lecture.
Speaker 4 (16:20):
Hall with a slightly elevated surface with a lectern and
a podium.
Speaker 3 (16:25):
Like a classroom.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
Yes where they.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
It was a classroom.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
The amount of people in there, twelve twelve people in
the daytime to see me do an hour of comedy.
Speaker 1 (16:40):
At AUM at a podium?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
Are you.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
Overhead projector Eric? I could hear the spit in people's mouths?
Do you know this sound? What are those twelve people doing?
Speaker 2 (16:59):
Though?
Speaker 4 (16:59):
I questioned them a little bit, but what do they want?
Because the school was probably like there's a comedian and
they're like tonight. They're like no, no, no, don't worry this afternoon.
What Yeah, there's gonna be some subway sandwiches afterwards. Do
you have a stable whole thing? You gotta save a
whole thing. Get the sandwich? Okay, So you just gotta
wait them out. So you gotta wait them out.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
The first joke doesn't go well, and then you're like, great,
I have fifty seven minutes.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
The thing you say is like, what's up?
Speaker 4 (17:26):
What I could do? You want to do? I just
need to say roll for this class. You just need
to like talk to y'all, what's happening? And like the
chuckles there are also so light because there's no way
for a group of twelve people in the afternoon to
jell enough to last as like a unit.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
There's no hive mind, there's no synchronous no, there's no cohesion.
Speaker 4 (17:49):
It's so just like momentum stopping. And so like those
are the worst shows that are college shows. College shows
are the worst shows. I love the college shows that
I've done recently, and I love doing college shows when
they're big enough crowds and when like everything goes right.
But for that particular college show, oh well they're produced
(18:10):
by college children, so they're not gonna be But once again,
ults are rough. Let me tell every college student listening,
bring Jay to your campus at night at.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
Venue where there's where there's a stage. Because I used
to perform in the cafeterias, the cafetorium, yeah, while people
were ordering chicken nuggs.
Speaker 3 (18:32):
The caffetoria, gymnasiums.
Speaker 4 (18:34):
Oh there was like because like sometimes there's like that
fun happy accident, Like one time me and ze Nab Johnson,
who's like this black Muslim woman from Harlem, and my
queer Mississippi ass performed in Utah and we were like, oh,
it was great, it was wonderful. But this ship in
Missouri in the fucking afternoon for twelve people, and they
(18:56):
wanted me to stay afterwards and eat sandwiches with them.
Speaker 3 (18:59):
I'm in bear.
Speaker 1 (19:00):
No, it's that cool.
Speaker 3 (19:01):
Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1 (19:02):
It's that cool. Yeah, we've all been there. Those shows
make you. They made you the man you are.
Speaker 3 (19:08):
Today, because like for an hour, that's the other thing.
Speaker 4 (19:11):
Like when you bomb in the city, maybe you bomb
for ten minutes, you bomb for twelve minutes, you get
out of there, U skidado, right, You know, there's a
lot you can.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
Do right for for an hour. An hour is it's
the longest hour of your life. But at that point
halfway through, you just got to do crowd work right
or something, or just you talk to them.
Speaker 4 (19:31):
You just start commenting on everything. Yeah, you just start
laughing in real time about your plight.
Speaker 2 (19:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
I kind of like look at the if there's a clock,
and I look at the like student activity board member
that has my paycheck in those Yeah, I'm like kind
of like checking in with them constantly, like can it's
fifty five minutes enough? It's forty five. What gets me
that check in your pocket? It gets me out of
here to my three air tran flo.
Speaker 4 (20:01):
Oh my god, No, it was even crazy for me
because it was in a hotel, rented a car and
drove to all these different places to go back to
that hotel to then finally fly out.
Speaker 1 (20:12):
So it was like a wasteland. It's so spacious, it's vast.
It's so vast that you were like, what did the
pioneers The pioneers needed to kill all the Native Americans
for what for? Like it was room for it was room.
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Room.
Speaker 4 (20:28):
We don't need all of Montana, you don't need we
need two Dakotas.
Speaker 3 (20:33):
It's a wasteland.
Speaker 4 (20:35):
I mean, like those are two bombs that like I
will never forget. They're like carved into my person traumatized,
not just traumatized, but learned so quickly what a real
bomb is because oh you know that show, I didn't
feel like I did my best. You were because you'll
be thinking like a six out of ten as a bomb,
(20:57):
NA like a true bomb. Like silence, Oh yes, silence
wakes you up. Squeaky chairs, Yeah, people staring at you,
the back of your neck is hot ears are hot.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
You' you like people talk about shaking on camera and
you go, WHOA, why are you that nervous?
Speaker 4 (21:15):
You go, oh, yeah, this is this is when people shake.
Oh yeah, this is when you go just start to
be like what it's.
Speaker 1 (21:20):
My biggest fear of bombing on TV.
Speaker 2 (21:22):
Oh.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I mean the first time I did stand up on television,
it was live at Gotham, and I was so unbelievably
nervous that I was like blackout for the first half
of my set. Don't remember it completely, like under anesthesia,
like propofall, like yeah to pro fall before I was
on stage, don't remember completely. And I made the mistake
(21:44):
of inviting like all my like high school friends I
grew up with. Yeah, they're like in the front row too,
which is like just such this unbelievable added pressure that
I would never ever do again.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (21:57):
Yeah, it's an insane stand up comedy. It's not that
old either. It's likely ninety years old, right, How old
is stand up comedy?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
I mean, if it's like one hundred years old, true
true stand up comedy. If we're talking about like the
way that we all kind of look at it now,
like we'd have to say the sixties, so you're right,
it's not that old, and then.
Speaker 1 (22:16):
The fifty sixty years old.
Speaker 4 (22:18):
Yeah, because then like the seventies is like the ramp up.
In the eighties is the explosion, and the nineties like
so like it is weird to be like, oh, this
thing that we kind of see as like being here forever.
It definitely came out of a vaudevillian tradition, came out
of like it came out technically, it came out of
like mister shows, We've to do it, but okayny.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
For more answers, smash that subscribe button.
Speaker 4 (22:46):
But like the wildest part is that the stand up
is fairly young and it's still ever evolving and morphing,
and like, I'm this weird combination of like I have
fairly traditional set up, punchline ship, but also people are like,
but you're you're queer, and I'm like yeah, And people
still will be like, if you're a black person who
does stand up comedy in a certain way in certain
(23:08):
rooms will be like this is groundbreak, and you'll be like, no, no,
this is just stand up. Stop stop thinking it's groundbreak. Yeah, yeah,
you have to remove yourself from this logic. Yeah, the groundbreaking. No, no, no,
I'm not the first person to talk in front of people.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Yeah, how are you? How have you done like coming
up at like black shows like black.
Speaker 4 (23:26):
Here's here's a crazy part. Black rooms love confidence a
lot of people. I mean, if we talk when I
was coming up so much, if we talk about the
famous for capone, it was not a fucking pleasure experience.
I'm gonna see you on like a Who's a entertainment?
Speaker 3 (23:50):
Who's the dude? Uh?
Speaker 4 (23:52):
Teach them, mother fucking k you know T. K. Kirkland show.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
Yeah, that's too black for me.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Only half.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
That flew over my head. Give me Anthony Brown reference
or something brown.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
Here's okay. So here's the thing.
Speaker 4 (24:10):
I think that like black rooms, they make you work
and so like there was.
Speaker 1 (24:16):
Like a hood room.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
Yeah, like like like a mother like a hood room
where it's like when they say this is motheruck chocolate
night like that kind of ship. Yeah, we're clubs like listen, okay,
I've done okay because from Mississippi and also like because
i'm book flor Well, if you're like here's if you're
queer black people, if you can play with it and
(24:40):
play around it, and about it and have jokes about it.
Black people be like, oh, at Last's motherfucker knows. It's
when people like start to get cagey. It's when people
like really don't know themselves. Like one of my favorite
jokes that works so well in black rooms is that
go I'm a black queer man also known as a
gospel choir.
Speaker 1 (24:55):
Director, and like they they got thing.
Speaker 4 (25:00):
Yeah, there's always going to be because like people forget, Like.
Speaker 3 (25:03):
I went to a ninety percent black high school.
Speaker 4 (25:06):
Like my ship growing up was like I was like
watching Laguna Beach in secret, but like all my so
many of my homeboys were like, just you won't watch
Paid in full? I was like, I love Cameron, Cameron jobs,
dip Set, dip Set all day.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Baby.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
Have you I mean you're in Deepset's neighborhood. Have you
run into them?
Speaker 4 (25:27):
No? A person I see the most dream The person
I see the most is Dave East, who's a rapper
from East Harlem.
Speaker 3 (25:33):
I'm in Harlem.
Speaker 1 (25:34):
Who else is up there? Ice Spice she's.
Speaker 4 (25:37):
North of me. That's like one third. That's grand concourse,
she's up there. Do you like Ice Spice?
Speaker 2 (25:41):
I love Ice Spice.
Speaker 3 (25:42):
Are you excited for a light skinned renaissance.
Speaker 1 (25:45):
Are you excited? I would wait, yes, sindbads and bad health.
So we need something. We needed ice, spice to.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Take the reins.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
And it is wild that like she truly dead eyes
though I would I feel like she's in North Korean
hostage a little bit. No, I got those Selena Gomez
dead inside.
Speaker 4 (26:02):
I think it's so crazy she truly brought munch people
like people who know about the word. So many people
shouldn't even know where the fucking mounch is.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
Tell me what a month is?
Speaker 3 (26:11):
A month?
Speaker 4 (26:12):
This is what I would say. A month is a
monch is a man who, with the press of a
button will come and do anything for you as a
girl who's like got it on lock. If he's just
a month, he's like just a guy who like you
can be like I need you come eat this pussy.
He'll show up like that. You'd be like, I need
a new bag like that. Paint me monch, eric Andre?
(26:36):
Are you ready for this Deadline article? Eric Andre comes
out as a munch. Jordan Poole, the NBA player, apparently
allegedly spend like I want to say, like five hundred
thousand dollars on like Day to Ice, Spice and Cam
and Mace were like man, she from the Bronx. She
would have madd with a slice of pizza.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Come on, yeah, you don't have to do that. That's
In's saying. That's fucking outrageous.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
NBA players.
Speaker 4 (27:05):
That's what happens. I've never dated the NBA player, but
you could. None of them are out, doesn't mean you
can't take them. Jason Collins is the only is the
only one that was ever a little gay was gay.
And I hate to say this about Jason Collins. Listen,
I love what you did for diversity in visibility, but
he wasn't even that good.
Speaker 3 (27:24):
So it is hard. That's mean I shouldn't say it out.
Speaker 2 (27:35):
With Aridre.
Speaker 1 (27:45):
With Aridre, what's the worst bomb you ever witnessed? Is
there one that you have that you witnessed that was
a fucking You don't have to name the person if
they're your friend, or you can call them mister and missus.
Speaker 2 (27:59):
A or whatever.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Okay, this is uh, this is something I won't put
them on front street. Sloan. No, I've never seen bomb.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
The scariest thing I've seen Dulce do is I've seen
someone like try to be overly familiar with Dulce and
she didn't know them and she shouldn't shipped down quick
Like someone like came in I think for a kiss
and she was like.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
Ah, no, no, you have to earn earn that kiss.
I was like, the bomb with her.
Speaker 3 (28:26):
They bombed, Yeah, that thing they got banned with her?
Speaker 1 (28:29):
Who did you see?
Speaker 2 (28:30):
Who did you?
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Have you ever seen someone not read the room? And
so I've seen and this is something that like I'll
actually talk about. I've seen a person who really wanted
to do their club set in a non club space
in Brooklyn because there.
Speaker 1 (28:51):
It was like a hipster audience and they wanted to.
Speaker 3 (28:54):
Just hipster like they want a little bit looser.
Speaker 4 (28:56):
They wanted things that were a bit more kind of
like idiosyncratic. Yeah, a little tall tea, but like it's
truly just they just wanted a bit more authenticity. And
this person came so polished and so buttoned and just
really wanted to get that type five out and like
punchlines that I know probably work in Midtown and that
(29:18):
work for certain audiences. Just I saw a lot of
people with dyed hair just be like boom because they
just didn't accept that this crowd was gonna be a
little different.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
They got kind of like a right wing kind of guy.
Or it wasn't right wing.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
I don't even think I think he's definitely like, no,
it wasn't political, but like it was so the opposite of.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
What they want.
Speaker 4 (29:41):
This crowd wanted in a way that was almost disrespectful.
Speaker 1 (29:45):
They wanted R and B and he was playing country.
Speaker 4 (29:47):
Not only they I don't even think they wanted R
and B. They wanted the B side of a band
that you've never heard. And he was playing Top forty.
He wanted to just playing Top forty. He was playing forty
from like a year ago, So they will get it.
Speaker 3 (30:04):
Maniscalco. It was it was again and and we've never
heard from him since. Yeah, who was it?
Speaker 1 (30:12):
Just telling him?
Speaker 3 (30:13):
I can't tell you hell no, no, no, no no. I
just I just love the fact that that hot goss.
I'm trying to think of the.
Speaker 4 (30:21):
What's some hot guys? Oh, I've seen not a bomb,
but it was like silly. One time Jim Gaffigan dropped
in to do a show at sent Up, New York,
and I was hosting, and he fell.
Speaker 1 (30:34):
Yeah, and like walking up to the stage.
Speaker 4 (30:38):
Yeah, I mean I got a picture of him getting up.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
It's like, because I just want you to know something
like boom, he's a tall guy too.
Speaker 4 (30:49):
He's a tall man. He'll say he's a he's a
bigger man. Yeah, and he was slow to get up
to Like that's what I'm it was not fake. There
are people who thought it was fake.
Speaker 3 (31:02):
That ship was very real.
Speaker 4 (31:04):
And Jim Gapagan is so funny, but like you could
tell because like physical bit term really is things. So
when he fell, some people were like, there's Jim being
Jim again, but like people want to know, were like, no, what,
what what's going on?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
He got really pissed at me one time I was
at I was at some bar.
Speaker 3 (31:24):
I want a full list of all the people who
have gotten really pissed at you.
Speaker 2 (31:28):
Gosh, how much time do you get?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Are you ready to laugh? Look at look at that?
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Oh oh my god, are you ready for that?
Speaker 3 (31:37):
That's also me telling the crowd not to laugh. He's like, yeah,
he just like fell that.
Speaker 4 (31:46):
You posted it too, he because and then people were like, Jay,
do you think it was a fault? I was like,
if he's that good at physical comedy.
Speaker 3 (31:56):
He should he he'd be in every movie doing that.
It was like Chris Pratt level. I mean it was
like Chris Farley level, Like.
Speaker 1 (32:04):
Yeah, Prat fall.
Speaker 4 (32:08):
So humiliated and like he I think he like said
one joke. He was like, no, I just stay down
here because I keep in mind I also have to
step over.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
Him to get got it's stage. It's this big.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
We're on the number West Side.
Speaker 3 (32:25):
It was wild.
Speaker 4 (32:25):
These people like erupted when I said Jim Gaffigan was
going to do the show. He comes up, but.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
He got really angry at me one time. And it
was an accidental like I went to this show and
uh it was like a small show downtown Lower East Side,
and I went and there was only one seat in
the back available. I wanted to sit amongst the comics.
The comics were lurking in the back and Pete Holmes
was there. A bunch of communities were there, and like
(32:54):
I went to sit in the one available seat, and
everyone was like, oh, that's gaffikin seat. Oh, don't take
that seat, that's caff seat. Oh. And they were all
like weirdly kissing his ass, and I was like, whatever,
we're at a bar. He didn't claim the seat, like
he's walking around like let me sit. I was like huh.
And then so when I got and then when he
walked back, I went to him and he thought I
(33:15):
was fucking with him. He had no context. I was like,
is this your seat? Is this your seat? Sir?
Speaker 2 (33:20):
Sir?
Speaker 1 (33:21):
I'm so sorry I took your seat. But he's like
he didn't know the setup.
Speaker 3 (33:25):
Yeah he didn't say that.
Speaker 1 (33:26):
Yeah, he didn't say he didn't hear them like weirdly
brown nosing him and like like like bowning to his feet.
So he just thought I was like being some prick
for some reason. And he was like he looked at
me like, what the fuck is your.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Nah ship?
Speaker 1 (33:41):
And he's big, he's got like big needy hands, like
he like he might not be fast, but if he
got like one, yeah, yeah you have to.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
So I hope he's not still mad at me.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
But I think like five seconds later he forgot that
whole thing them good. I already gets into it, goes
into a rage, so he told me he goes into rage.
Who I kind of like that seething anger, seething dark anger.
Speaker 4 (34:09):
I feel like a lot of comics probably either go
into rage or just like become silly. Yeah, they either
scream or they just start laughing at everything. Like it's
the two sides of the coin.
Speaker 1 (34:22):
I think I'm on the last the laugh.
Speaker 3 (34:26):
Yeah, that's a good place to be.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, seating rage was before therapy, but they're still there's
still I like, I'll like.
Speaker 4 (34:33):
Scream if like it's the last resort, because I don't
even think it's violent. I just think it's a show
that like you get it out well. Because one time
me and my friend were walking to our train and
this group of kids was like, hey, do you guys
have any weed. We're like, we'll have any weed. And
like when I say kids, I mean like teenagers. So
I didn't feel bad screaming at them and they asked
(34:54):
us again. I was like, we'll have any weeds, and
then they like touched my friend and I was like.
Speaker 3 (34:59):
What the fuck are y'all doing?
Speaker 4 (35:01):
Yeah, because like we're nice dudes, some crazy person's gonna
beat the ship out of y'all. I'm like screaming at
these kids to teach them a lesson.
Speaker 1 (35:09):
Yeast, you have to keep those teenagers online.
Speaker 2 (35:11):
They're gonna bowl over you if you don't.
Speaker 4 (35:13):
Yeah, yeah, you hear that. Spare the Rod, spoil the child, Mississippi.
Beat your Kids? Can that be a sound drop? Can
we put that on the board?
Speaker 3 (35:26):
Joe Kids, there we go.
Speaker 1 (35:29):
That's still gonna be the intro and outro of every episode.
Beat your Kids, anything else.
Speaker 4 (35:37):
Everyone, don't be afraid to bomb, don't pursue it, don't
don't don't chase it. But them, shit's gonna happen. It
happens to the best people. They're just really famous. The
Chris Rock story about him like hearing Martin Lawrence like
destroy before him in Chicago.
Speaker 3 (35:52):
And he's like, what's going on?
Speaker 4 (35:54):
It's crazy And he goes out and he bombs because
like Martin Lawrence had basically like laughed the crowd into exhaustion.
Speaker 3 (36:00):
Yeah, he was like, god damn.
Speaker 4 (36:01):
And that's one of the most I mean, that's a
bomb that led to it an illustrious career.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
That was his first early bomb.
Speaker 4 (36:09):
That was like a bomber after that's now no, I
think he was established enough to like do a show.
But you know how like sometimes famous people and it
happens now because everyone is part of the reason why
they're yonder pouches, Like you know, anyone working on a
new hour. That's of note. You kind of are like,
you almost have to be like, hey, some of this
shit ain't hidden yet. And then some crowds are like,
(36:30):
that motherfucker wasn't as funny? Is that thing he worked
on for three years?
Speaker 3 (36:33):
How dare you?
Speaker 4 (36:34):
And you're like, well, that's You're part of the process
of me coming out with something new in the next
three years.
Speaker 1 (36:40):
So we're working on this together. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
But I mean I think that like if I learned anything,
no college shows in the daytime ever, because that shit
sticks with me. Like someone could be like, oh, Jay,
I love your tonight your set, and I'd be like,
but what about.
Speaker 3 (36:55):
That college show in the daytime? At one time?
Speaker 4 (36:59):
I can still see the face of this very round
white face of this guy wearing a hoodie and he
shook his head at one point during my show, and
I was like, I'm there with your brother. I'm black
people should be on stage. You're right, I ain't crushing it. God,
just this round midwestern face. Oh, I'll never forget it.
Speaker 1 (37:19):
Well, Jay, thank you, thank.
Speaker 3 (37:20):
You, This is fun.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, come back anytime.
Speaker 5 (37:25):
I'll with Avery Codre all right, listen up, we got
something special for you got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life.
Speaker 1 (37:35):
Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Mabel.
Speaker 5 (37:38):
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 1 (37:43):
What just happened? Moment?
Speaker 5 (37:45):
So pick up your phone and dial seven one six Bombing.
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and we might just
play it on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre
is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar.
Our producer is Bei Wang. Our research assistant is David Carliner.
(38:07):
Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art
is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and
drop a review on your podcast app a choice beat
your Kids
Host
Eric Andre
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