October 4, 2023 • 31 mins
Eric and long-time friend Dulce Sloan talk about their time doing stand-up aka trauma bonding! She talks about a moment bombing at a sports bar and the expectation of audiences who dress up to go out. Scattered laughter makes your time on stage last an eternity, especially when no one is laughing at the right points of your joke. Think of it as a microwave running. Later they talk about Dulce's dating life and the worst bomb she witnessed. Let's just say, beer and shots deals are beautiful, but not when you say the same joke THREE. TIMES.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome and Bombing with They're and Andrey in the podcast
where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative
people about their worst moments on stage and truly.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Embarrassing themselves in front of a live audience. Our guest this.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Week is a woman I absolutely adore.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She takes no shit, she takes no prisoners.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Seen her all over television doing voiceover and your favorite
animated shows. It's Ducey Sloan and remember to pretty please
subscribe to the podcast to get new episodes every week.
Rated five stars and on Apple Podcasts. Subscribe to Big
Money Players Diamond to hear more much Chat with Dulsay
plus add three episodes every week.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let's get into it. Bombing with aeric Andre.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Wait wait, wait, you're telling me Eric and wanted.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Structure, a little bit of structure, a little bit of
organized chaos. I just want to like a piece of
paper to fall back on. Okay, cool, cool, Well we
can just hang fuck it. It's a podcast about bombing,
so that's gonna come up naturally.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You have to tell as a bombing story.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I remember I was meeting some of my cousin's friends
one day. He's an artist and I was having dinner
with all his artsy fucking friends and this motherfucker I
had just met. He was like, so, tell me about
when you bombed.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And I went, no, why because it's too traumatic.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I said, I just met you. He's like, I'm just saying.
I was just like, then, tell me about the time
that you had a traumatic event happened. No, I just
fucking met you, bro, I'm not Finnish a traumatic event, nigga,
I don't know your last name the fuck. And his
friends were like annoy and I said, I don't give
a fuck about you or your hat. No, fuck this,
(01:41):
little nigga, I'm not doing that. No, I don't know
this man. Shit was wild. Well, I just wanted you
to just shared experiences. No, you want to sit on
the trauma bomb with me, bitch. I don't know you
and you too little to fuck so please relax.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Wait are we doing this? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah on
the thing.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Now, we gotta talk about bombing. I want to hear
your bombing story. I want to hear the worst time
you ever bombed, so and I want to hear any
bomb you experience or any cringey incident that you had
in a in a performance. It could even be like
I saw Beyonce at the Rose Bowl and she.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I can say, Okay, what's it? And I know it's
deeply personal and traumatic, but please show.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I can say that the worst bomb I ever had.
I don't think people would consider a bomb, but it's
just something that had bugged me. It haunts not anymore,
but like for a good six months. Yeah, really fucked
with me.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I have a bomb from like five years ago. It
still haunts me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh because people don't realize it's like because and I
was and I was like still early in so I
was at this place called Barnacles. So you know, people
of a sports.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Bar, okay, and for years it's paint as a picturey.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I'm in Atlanta. I'm still like a baby comic.
I would say twenty ten, twenty eleven, because I have
my apartment and so I'm out of sports Bar that's
like down the street from where I grew up, literally
two miles three miles Atlanta in Atlanta, So I'm on
Jimmy Carter place called Barnacles. So sports Bar is like
(03:26):
a seafood place and it's a urban show. You know.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
One.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Black rooms are always harder because people don't realize why
black rooms are harder. It's because we.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Break down for our audience. White black rooms are.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Black rooms are hard because, and I think it's one
of my theories, it's because so when black people go out,
we get dressed. So first of all, I got dressed.
I got a babysitter.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Like there's a production sit went into.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
This wasn't a casual any time black people go out.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, we get dressed.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So I bought an outfit first of all. Then I
bought tickets second of all. Then they're the two to
three ITA minimum.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yep, and a baby and a babysitter going on.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
In the back, and a babysitter if they have show.
I'm not saying all black people got kids, but if
you have a babysitter, babysitter. What happened for sure is outfit,
tickets to ITA minimum.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Right, So they want results the comedian steps on stage,
they want results.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Every time you talk, they are counting money. Every word
out your mouth is dollars and cents my gas. I
might have had to pay the part, yeah yeah, I
might have had to run through five days of traffic
to get in this fucking place. Then security might have
shook me down. So it's like there's a lot going
into coming into this show at a fucking sports bar. Ye,
(04:54):
and you have the nerve to not bring the heads,
to not bring the heads and the other the thing
is about when it comes to urban rooms. Because Big Kenny.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Mentored me, I could meet Big Kenny.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
He's a great he's a great man. He's in Atlanta.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Where's Big Kenny? Get Big Kenny to New York.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Listen, he got he got kids, he got a wife.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But bring him up.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Let's make a special trip ice skating at that thirty round.
I'll take him to Mama Mia Lion King.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
We got to come through. But I mean, I make
sure I mentioned him at all times.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
So he's like a mentor.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
He's mentoring me, and so he taught me he is.
But I also realized that, like a lot of things,
I think because I came in and everyone knew me
because I was like he was helping me and all
this other stuff, I think there's a lot of bullshit
when I first started out that I didn't have to
(05:47):
deal with because like a lot of girls talk about,
like you know, men being a certain way with them,
But I literally like heard comments go, oh, that's that's
the girl Big Kenny is, and they didn't want to
piss off Big because they would have lost spots.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
So he protected you.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, and even when he wasn't even there.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You were under his wing.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yes, so it was in his weekchic sh and then.
But I knew all these other comics because I had
been like hanging around comedy clubs two years before I
even started. So it's a bunch of comics that I
just knew. So when I started out, they were like, oh, no,
this is leave her alone. Don't like they I mean,
they have no idea, but like, oh, you were.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Like Tony Soprano's daughter.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Basically, it was like, oh you cool with something, Okay,
well don't with some nigga Once a while would say
something slick. But for the most part, there was a
lot of bullshit that I didn't put up with as
a female comics starting out in urban rooms. That because
there was Big Kenny and I knew a lot of
the comics before I started. It was a lot of oh,
(06:49):
she good, she good.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh you know, don't you're almost spoiled by that.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
It's not a spoiled but I mean like going into
this particular night.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Well you were almost like, I'm protected. Big Kenny's got
has vouch for me, and see what this is.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That scrambled a little bit because you were like, I'm
gonna be Everything's gonna be just dandy.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, the thing is, so at this point, I was
doing both rooms, and I was only doing mainstream rooms
at this point because even though I didn't put up
a bullshit from like a people, yeah, I still wasn't
getting up because I was a girl, right, So I
still wasn't getting a lot of time in urban rooms.
So I started just doing more mainstream rooms. Well, people
also don't realize what Big Kenny taught me was in
(07:30):
urban rooms, you have a laugh every thirty second.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Think about the number of times you put to a
white show just still doing his setup and I'm.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Like, wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Two minute fucking setup.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah really yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's like when I watch Earthquake or I watched j
Anthony Brown, like those guys like the setup is punchlines.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm away to the punch out and that's it's like
every sentence, it's like the machine gun. You're like, what
the fuck? Their writing is just like unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
And then you're like, you watch those guys like, oh yeah,
you have to get a laugh every sentence. Yes, on
the way to the big yes laugh and that better
big people laugh.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But if you watch me, that's how I do my joke.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it makes you strong. I mean, urban
rooms make you.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
You go back to the mainstream room, you're like, I've
been lifting five hundred pound weights days.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
But they make you strong if you can get on stage.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah. And that's the other thing. So what happened at
this particular So.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
This particular evening at Barnacles.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Barnacles and are the football games going on the fucking
flat screen and.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Attention but because of but the host, to his credit,
made them turn the TVs off.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Huh But some times that brings animosity at the top
of the thing. Well, what they said was he was
like a stage of the guys on the floor. There
was a slight stage, slight stages, but everything was.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Directed towards that stage because we were in the different room.
And he was like, yo, if you want to watch
the game, because it was almost like a big event room, okay,
because they had the chairs all turned to the stage
and they're like, he was like, listen, if you want
to watch the game, you go to the bar. Okay,
we haven't shown here.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Okay, that's fair. That's a good way to I was like, God, bless, Yeah,
that's a good way to do.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
A number of times I have had to tell jokes
in front of a championship.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Oh I've been. I've been like, they just walked me
out with no inch. I've been in a sports bar.
They just magically turned off all the TVs, didn't announced shit,
and I just had to walk out amongst tables and
chairs and just start telling jokes in like a sports
bar in Florida.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I called They're just like what? People are like what?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
And then they're like, is one of the waiters talking
for some reason into a microphone? And the first like
five to ten minutes are just people comprehending what's going on.
And by then it's over like you're just bombing, Like
they're like, stop talking. I was just watching basketball out.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I call that Kamakazi comedy.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You are living your life, trap.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
You are living your life watching the game, eating some
mediocre wings and then all of a sudden, so uh,
you guys ever know, bitch, we have it.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They're like, who the fuck is this guy? The bus
boy won't shut the fuck.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Up, sir, Who let you in here? Security security, come
get this man.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Oh man, those shows what you're awful?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Okay, So the host is on stage and he goes
you guys want to watch the game, set of the bars,
watch the show.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We're here for a show.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Because there are people that bought tickets to the show,
and then people just want to watch the game. But
there's like a pool table like way off in the bag,
and people are actually playing pool, but they're kind of
like paying attention. And so I probably went up like
dead in the middle, because that's the thing that I
like to do. People like, oh, they want to go
up last, they want to go first.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, I'll be fifth, yeah, third, fourth.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Third, fourth, fifth, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Why Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
That's that's how you know you've been working as a comic,
where you're like, I'll go third.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Also, I need to whoever is listening if you are
a comic. No, going last does not mean you headlined.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
No, not on those shows. That's just like a showcase show.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Going last means you closed.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Also, yes, stop calling me and Eric Andre to come
to your show. To go last. And when we say
we want to go third, yeah, well you know what
the audience.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, yeah, I hate that show.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
If your audience leaves because I left.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
That's all. That's not me, That's true.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I always feel guilty and I'm like, okay, all right,
I'll go last, And then I'm waiting like seven hours
through a bunch of like nonsense, and I'm like, I
don't even know that. This is just a guy that
got my email from somebody that I don't even know. Like,
I'm like, well, I don't know anybody.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
This guy's paying me thirteen bucks to sit on a
seven hour show.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, I'm getting paid.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You have to be respectful of people's time.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Be respectful of the fact that I've been doing this
for twelve thirteen years. I already did this telling jokes
in a fucking basement of a pizza restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, in twenty ten, I feel guilty.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
You can't, there's no no, because you didn't do anything wrong.
Somebody is wasting your time. You worked hard enough to
go This is when I'd.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Like to go up. Yeah, you're right. Third is my sweets.
Third or fourth, the third or four, fifth, and so
so you're there, I'm in your play. You're going up
fifth going up? Are the comics? How are the comics
before you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
The comics that do urban rooms kill it, the comics
that do mainstream rooms not killing No, the two comics
in Atlanta. I saw the bet that could Clayton English
seamless between doing a mainstream room and an urban room.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
That's the fucking sweet spot, seamless. That's why he's fucking amazing.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
He's a beast. Rob Hay, same thing. He's a beast
Clayton English. I'm talking about no difference. And I know
when I so, I know when I do urban room. Okay,
I have to be you know, a little bit more
more energy, you talk a little faster about it. It's
bout by by by by by bye because little more.
That's just what it is. Clayton English. I've been watching
(13:05):
this man because he's one of the first comics I've
been watching clay He was just two thousand and seven.
Because I said them one day, I was like, do
you know I've known you since I was twenty seven
years old? He said, your nigga, get away from it?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Were you like falling in love with him?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
And I just talked sweet, but I'm just like, you know,
I have known you since I was like twenty seven. Yeah,
he said what I said, I'm thirty nine. He said,
get away from it out He's like, I love you,
but back it up. He was not trying to hear
it at all. And it's weird to think about that.
I've known this niggas two thousand and seven. But if
(13:38):
you watched this, it was very up and down. The
audience was very up and down, okay, and people were
kind of like coming in and out of it room,
and the room got settled a little bit before I
went up. And this is this is the thing. Did
I bomb bomb?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I saw the comics on the show eat a Bag
of Dude, Yeah, which I know confuses people would go,
why is that called bombing? I don't know what it's called,
eat Dick. I don't know what's called the bag. And
I don't know why bombing destroyed. I don't I don't
as you.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, yeah, it's true. I don't know why bombing means
one thing and destroyed me as the opposite.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But right, and so oh that's interesting. Bombing and destroyed
means to destroyed, said I bombed horribly horrific.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
So what happened?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I feel I'm not leaving out of key thing. I'm
gonna trying to explain to you. If someone else watched me,
they wouldn't think that I bombed.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
What affected you? That it's stuck to your ribs for
six months?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I couldn't get everyone in the room to laugh at
the same time.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
There's little pockets.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
It was every other person, every other joke. So someone
I had just made laugh my next joke, I couldn't
get him to laugh. And then they're sitting at a
table together. This would suck me up. I watched one table.
They would laugh at every other joke, but they didn't
(15:05):
laugh at the same time, so neither one of them
found the same thing funny at the same time.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Did this make you psychologically unraveled? Did you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Because I couldn't because.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
There was you couldn't figure out what.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
I couldn't figure out how to fix it because there
was one table that was laughing the whole time, some
tables that weren't laughing at all, and then it was
other tables that were every other joke, every other person.
So I was like, I got head because I couldn't
figure out in I have just bomb bombed.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I could accept the bomb, right.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
They didn't like it. You fucking do your time, you
move on.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
But this was more of a mental.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yes, because it's like I couldn't find the right thing
to get them all, and it fuck it fucked with
me so bad because it was like as a comic,
you're like, okay, because when you're getting to like because
this when of the first time they started doing like
a ten minute set, we just started to do ten
minute sets, right, so that's enough time to get people
or lose people, or get them or lose them and
(16:02):
bring them back. But there's enough to in a ten
minute set, because when you first start doing ten minute sets,
it feels like a fucking.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
It's a long ten minutes, ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
People don't realize, like you don't realize how long time.
Like the only time like you think about time like
this is when you're microwaving something. We're like, a minute
and a half is like, oh my children, my children,
Like a minute and a half of the microwave is dead.
That's what it's ten We first.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Start feeling a good point.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yes, the microwave feels long, like nothing else except stand up.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
If someone don't microwaving and stand up are weirdly similar. Yes,
if never thought about it.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
If someone looked at you in the face and said,
wait for a minute and a half, you go.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
What yeah, maybe yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
A little minute, yeah, a minute and a half go.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
You're like, I don't know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You fucking scratch your hass, you'd be done. You're like,
this is what, Yeah, but a microwave, the sands have done, yeah,
or moving and your food's not hot, so you're like,
birds have stopped flapping.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
A minute, so you get off stage.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
So this was the weird part. It's I'm on stage
and in my mind it's like, but some people are laughing,
You're fine. But there was just I just couldn't wrap
my head around what was going on because it was like, listen,
I don't do I always do great in urban rooms. No. Also,
I mean it just by nature intimidating, but they want
(17:29):
to be intimidating because the open mic at uptown was
literally called boo night. That's hard, and they stopped booming
and they just shake their keys at people like nigga,
go home.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
It's a possum amount of.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Your dreams beat it, get out of here. You see
what I'm saying. So it fucked me up because I couldn't.
I think would bug me the most is it was
every other person laughing at every other joke, which meant
that I didn't know what anybody liked because of it.
It was a bunch of people. If there was ever
(18:08):
a moment where everyone laughed at the same thing, then
I would go boom, Okay, that's what I need to do.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So did this affect you because it made you psychologically
unravel about your entire set. Yes, and you were like
everything I built is just crumbled into It was like
a house of cards and it just fucking crumbled.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
It made me think more about me as a performer.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Because you brought it, brought everything into questions.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
It made me question things because it was just like
one It's like there's urban room in the there's.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
A hood room.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Oh yeah, Like people have guns at the table, which
I don't mind. With every condrey with a recondre how
was your love life? Put it all out on the table.
(19:05):
I no boundaries here. That's a new premise of the show,
No boundaries.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I am You're on hinge. I got off all of
those you're on Riyah Rayah is racist as ship?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Is it? They don't accept black people.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Let me tell you something I could not.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I'm on Blast, I could not.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I'll say this, I.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
It's a white people app.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's a very watch of white people app. You had
to have it first of all. It's like you have
to have iPhone to use it. But the fun thing
about that app.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Is that I'm old enough to remember Black Planet.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Do you know they're still on the internet. That's still
a website.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I'm the fucking goddamn president a black planet.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
How do we buy a black planet?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I think it's called something else now, still black black Planet.
I was on Black Planet and Jay Date, I.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Was on Black Wait. I was on Black Planet. I
was on me hin.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Have you ever dated a white guy? Yes, a Jewish man.
Jewish man love?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Have you not heard? I have a whole bit about it.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Really, Oh, Jewish men love you?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
They I mean I love working for me.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I'll say that.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
My manager and my lawyer.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Your lawyer, unbelievable, very I.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Can't stand you. Those men are very much happily married.
And I'm very sad, no i am.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
But they're in a polyamorous, open relationship and you're there
one past. I'm just putting that out there.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
No, they're very nice, but I can't say if it
wasn't for the white means is I would not have
had sex between twenty sixteen and twenty eighteen.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Wait, so the white guys are.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
It's yeah, I mean it's I also.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But the first dominating you, well.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
They I've never known a white man dominate me.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Uh that man is?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
That man?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Was?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Persian love life non existent? How'd your love life?
Speaker 5 (20:49):
I love?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I love?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I'm sure yours is good. Yeah, I'm sure you're a
nice little you know, some interesting girl.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hanging out with a gal that makes sense? Hanging out
with a gap?
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Did you're dropping it off?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
In No?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
My my love life since I've moved here, I've been
in a biblical.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Wait wait, wait, hold on, when did you move here
twenty seventeen?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I thought you've been here for like a decade.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I was in La before that.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Well, we are going to find you the Dominican Persian
love of your love.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Listen, this is happens to be Jewish.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Did you and he's going to be giant? Why don't
you date a w c W wrestler. I'm going to
hook you up with the wrestler. I got John Cena's number.
Would you make love to John? I think he's married.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Well, the other thing, what wrestler is your type? I'm
going to match make you with the wrestler. I love Jewish,
so I love matchmaking. Who's your celebrity crush and who's
your ideal?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
My celebrity crush is Michael Strahan.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Michael Strahan because he's beautiful wrestler. Wise, I don't have
access to Michael Strahan. Wrestlers love me. Wrestlers and porn
people love me.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Those USLO boys are cute.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
The USA boys, so you'd be in a throupple, I
would be.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I mean one of them is married to a black girl.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
About the other one, I don't know that's your guy.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
So brothers, Yeah, was cute us O, which I think.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh so they're big somemoanan dude. Yeah, oh yeah, okay,
I like.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Mean being like that.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I want to feel a dancy Oh yes, okay, os
so bros.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I I it's a whole lot of man. Yeah, twins,
so you can get him confused and you could suck
the other one if you get pissed out the.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Other ones just married and I don't married man.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Okay, that's fine, that's fair. Fair you want to be
all lamb about it.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
My goal in life is.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Do you think you've ever fucked married man? And you have?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I didn't know you're fucked up? He didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
How dare you ruin this sanctity?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
He never wore a ring and he didn't tell me
he was married.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Find out when I saw.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I saw him like a year or two later, and
he had a ring on, and I was like, what
was excuse me?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Really? You confronted about it?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
And I was like a nigga for a year.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Or two goes by, he could have got married in
that year or two.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
He had been married for ten And I was like, sir,
he was like, I was married the whole time. Is
what the fuck do you mean?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Did him and his wife have understanding?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Absolutely not, absolutely not, because I can say in his defense,
I didn't know he was married, but I knew he
was in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So listen, I'm not gonna fuck up a marriage.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, but your girlfriend sometimes.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
A girlfriend doesn't count, But you can't fuck up a marriage.
Especially I got kids, and.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
It was like they definitely a kids.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
My friend put it this way, He's like, I never
want to hook up with a married woman because the
anger of the husband finding out, like that specific type
of anger kills.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I would never want that anger from another man. That's
like primal.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
The number of people who have died for fucking with
somebody's spouse. Like it's I mean it very much, is like,
oh it is.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
It's old school. It's old school. It's one of the
ten commandments.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yes, this is from old Fuck your neighbors, cover the
neighbor's wife.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Don't kill, and don't covet a neighbor's oxen or something
or mule or something like. No. I think also, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
There's one of them that's like, don't touch your neighbor's
ox No, there.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Is no no, it's covered. It can either be covered
the wife or covered something from your name, like covered
anything from your neighbors. So the first guy there was
from a salvador so like as a teenager, and then I.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
As a teenager, faded as Salvadorian because he lived in
my neighborhood. Oh okay, it wasn't a long distance ninety.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
His whole family lived on the other side of our
apartment complex, like grandma, aunts, uncles, fucking cousins, everybody. Okay,
so and then it's been mostly black dudes. I could say,
the ones who put in the most time and broke
my heart black dudes, cause them in the ones that
was closest to me. But yeah, like white dudes are
(24:57):
a Filipino dude for about twenty minutes. But it's been
most you know, black and Latin white dudes. But since
I moved here, dating here.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Is what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (25:07):
It's New York City, no romantic No, these motherfuckers don't
talk to people.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
No, bro, I'm trying how to get on black planet.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I've been on dating apps here. The most dates I've
ever been on was right after Lockdown ended.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh you were crushing it.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Bro, because I'm a fucker spent five months with their
hands and was like, I would give a big.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Bitch a chance.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I don't care. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
With Ari Condre.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
With Ari Condrey, I want to ask the words mommy
or was? And I want to ask have you've ever
been drunk on stage? Those are my two questions, So
any order you want to do those.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I can't be drunk. I've been tipsy on stage and
it made my brain foggy.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
And it like I did it end in catastrophe or okay?
So tell me what was the thing?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I like it? What did you go?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I can say again?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
What did you see? Not a not a not a
bomb bomb okay.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
But a comic you know starbar?
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, starbar in Atlanta, like little five points.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah yeah yeah, see it on the Monday night show.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I think so yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
So a comic from New York could come down to
do it, okay, and he was unaware of this five
dollars special they would have where you could get a
shot of jamison and a whole beer for five bucks.
And he'd been living here for years, so five.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
So he's like, that's a bar that's like this is
the best deal on earth.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
The deal, yeah, the deal, right, And so he goes
to close out and he's only doing thirty minutes, right,
It's like a long ass open microsproblic twelve thirteen people
to go up and then the headliner. So he's he
took like he's been drinking all night, but he was
like fucked up. And then he took like two so
(27:07):
he's in the middle of the set. I think it
tooks like one or two shots on excuse me on stage,
and you see the alcohol hit.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Him while he's mid joke while.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
He's on stage to the point, so he tells a
joke and gets a laugh, and then he starts to joke.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Again, like completely not realizing.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Not realizing people are like laughing because they're like, okay, yeah,
He's like and then he gets to the end of
it and like the laugh of He's like, wait, did
I tell that joke?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
They were like yes, It's my biggest fear.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
And then he starts to joke a third no.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Bro's Jameson and beer is not for you.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
No no, no, no, no no, And and everybody's like, hey,
the third time is rough and he but he did
it so like you it hit him and then it
fucking slammed him.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
When he saw his name is Mark Norman.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Mark, think you're like, I can't say. They like, yeah,
no problems Mark, But this was like Mark was that drunk.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
He was fucked up?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Wow, I was hanging out anyway, what was the joke?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
But I don't God, I didn't know Zen when I
was telling the stories zen, I didn't know the joke.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Well, you were watching it, you didn't know the joke.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
And I told the next time, third time, and then
everyone was like hey, hey, and then he got too
drunk to finish his No. So he was supposed to
do thirty. I don't think he did the full thirty.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
He liked a bargain he saw it was five dollars.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
He's been in New York for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Does he drink like that?
Speaker 3 (28:52):
I don't know if he still does. One of my
favorite things to do at like comedy festivals is I
would come up to comments ago, give your best.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Mark Norman, oh ship, yeah I have. Oh huh, well
that's fucking weird.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yes, you would be.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
He's like a he's like I've known since his early
twenties and he's like a fifty.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Five year old like man. My question since his like twenties,
he's like. But my question is, yeah, I love him
by the way.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Oh, I love him too.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
He's great.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
He used to come up to me and if I
was sitting down, he would have slapped my thigh and
grab it and go, oh if I wasn't gay, just
walk off.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Is he gay? He's a gay?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
He's like married, right, yes.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But what's funny because I meet too. Ship started to
quit doing it and I'd be like Norman normand so
now I'd come up to him and go, I wasn't gay,
He's like, but he's one of my favorites thanks to
is it being festivals and be like, hey, comic, give
me your best mind. The way that people get so
(30:07):
excited to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Oh fuck, I can see that.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
It's like almost like a little bonding thing.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I could see that where everyone's like, well.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
You do your best one. But I think it's so wild,
like Mark Norman grew up in New Orleans.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Really, yes, studies like from like Michigan.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
No, he should sound like Sean Patton.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, yeah, he should be like.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Oh lord, those thirty one spices and herbs.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
O lord. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, Bill
Zey slam thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
With Aeric Condrey Bombing with Eric Andres brought to you
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Executive produced by.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Hans Sani Olivia Aguilar, edited and sound designed by Andy Harris,
and our art is by Dylan. If you want to
confess to your own bombing moments or give us a
shout out. Go rate us five stars and drop a
review on your podcast app a choice right about your
own stories of bombing at life, and if you're on
Apple Podcasts, you could also subscribe a Big Mini Player's
Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every episode and
(31:15):
listen to all my episodes at free. The guests on
Bombing with Eric Andre were recorded before the sag after
strike
Welcome and Bombing with They're and Andrey in the podcast
where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other creative
people about their worst moments on stage and truly.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Embarrassing themselves in front of a live audience. Our guest this.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Week is a woman I absolutely adore.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
She takes no shit, she takes no prisoners.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
Seen her all over television doing voiceover and your favorite
animated shows. It's Ducey Sloan and remember to pretty please
subscribe to the podcast to get new episodes every week.
Rated five stars and on Apple Podcasts. Subscribe to Big
Money Players Diamond to hear more much Chat with Dulsay
plus add three episodes every week.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Let's get into it. Bombing with aeric Andre.
Speaker 3 (00:45):
Wait wait, wait, you're telling me Eric and wanted.
Speaker 1 (00:47):
Structure, a little bit of structure, a little bit of
organized chaos. I just want to like a piece of
paper to fall back on. Okay, cool, cool, Well we
can just hang fuck it. It's a podcast about bombing,
so that's gonna come up naturally.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
You have to tell as a bombing story.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I remember I was meeting some of my cousin's friends
one day. He's an artist and I was having dinner
with all his artsy fucking friends and this motherfucker I
had just met. He was like, so, tell me about
when you bombed.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
And I went, no, why because it's too traumatic.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
I said, I just met you. He's like, I'm just saying.
I was just like, then, tell me about the time
that you had a traumatic event happened. No, I just
fucking met you, bro, I'm not Finnish a traumatic event, nigga,
I don't know your last name the fuck. And his
friends were like annoy and I said, I don't give
a fuck about you or your hat. No, fuck this,
(01:41):
little nigga, I'm not doing that. No, I don't know
this man. Shit was wild. Well, I just wanted you
to just shared experiences. No, you want to sit on
the trauma bomb with me, bitch. I don't know you
and you too little to fuck so please relax.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Wait are we doing this? Yeah? Yeah, yeah yeah on
the thing.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Now, we gotta talk about bombing. I want to hear
your bombing story. I want to hear the worst time
you ever bombed, so and I want to hear any
bomb you experience or any cringey incident that you had
in a in a performance. It could even be like
I saw Beyonce at the Rose Bowl and she.
Speaker 1 (02:22):
I can say, Okay, what's it? And I know it's
deeply personal and traumatic, but please show.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
I can say that the worst bomb I ever had.
I don't think people would consider a bomb, but it's
just something that had bugged me. It haunts not anymore,
but like for a good six months. Yeah, really fucked
with me.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I have a bomb from like five years ago. It
still haunts me.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Oh because people don't realize it's like because and I
was and I was like still early in so I
was at this place called Barnacles. So you know, people
of a sports.
Speaker 4 (02:59):
Bar, okay, and for years it's paint as a picturey.
Speaker 3 (03:03):
So I'm in Atlanta. I'm still like a baby comic.
I would say twenty ten, twenty eleven, because I have
my apartment and so I'm out of sports Bar that's
like down the street from where I grew up, literally
two miles three miles Atlanta in Atlanta, So I'm on
Jimmy Carter place called Barnacles. So sports Bar is like
(03:26):
a seafood place and it's a urban show. You know.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
One.
Speaker 3 (03:30):
Black rooms are always harder because people don't realize why
black rooms are harder. It's because we.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Break down for our audience. White black rooms are.
Speaker 3 (03:37):
Black rooms are hard because, and I think it's one
of my theories, it's because so when black people go out,
we get dressed. So first of all, I got dressed.
I got a babysitter.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Like there's a production sit went into.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
This wasn't a casual any time black people go out.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Yeah, we get dressed.
Speaker 3 (04:03):
So I bought an outfit first of all. Then I
bought tickets second of all. Then they're the two to
three ITA minimum.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
Yep, and a baby and a babysitter going on.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
In the back, and a babysitter if they have show.
I'm not saying all black people got kids, but if
you have a babysitter, babysitter. What happened for sure is outfit,
tickets to ITA minimum.
Speaker 4 (04:23):
Right, So they want results the comedian steps on stage,
they want results.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
Every time you talk, they are counting money. Every word
out your mouth is dollars and cents my gas. I
might have had to pay the part, yeah yeah, I
might have had to run through five days of traffic
to get in this fucking place. Then security might have
shook me down. So it's like there's a lot going
into coming into this show at a fucking sports bar. Ye,
(04:54):
and you have the nerve to not bring the heads,
to not bring the heads and the other the thing
is about when it comes to urban rooms. Because Big Kenny.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Mentored me, I could meet Big Kenny.
Speaker 3 (05:06):
He's a great he's a great man. He's in Atlanta.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Where's Big Kenny? Get Big Kenny to New York.
Speaker 3 (05:12):
Listen, he got he got kids, he got a wife.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
But bring him up.
Speaker 4 (05:15):
Let's make a special trip ice skating at that thirty round.
I'll take him to Mama Mia Lion King.
Speaker 3 (05:22):
We got to come through. But I mean, I make
sure I mentioned him at all times.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
So he's like a mentor.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
He's mentoring me, and so he taught me he is.
But I also realized that, like a lot of things,
I think because I came in and everyone knew me
because I was like he was helping me and all
this other stuff, I think there's a lot of bullshit
when I first started out that I didn't have to
(05:47):
deal with because like a lot of girls talk about,
like you know, men being a certain way with them,
But I literally like heard comments go, oh, that's that's
the girl Big Kenny is, and they didn't want to
piss off Big because they would have lost spots.
Speaker 2 (06:02):
So he protected you.
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Yeah, and even when he wasn't even there.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
You were under his wing.
Speaker 3 (06:06):
Yes, so it was in his weekchic sh and then.
But I knew all these other comics because I had
been like hanging around comedy clubs two years before I
even started. So it's a bunch of comics that I
just knew. So when I started out, they were like, oh, no,
this is leave her alone. Don't like they I mean,
they have no idea, but like, oh, you were.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Like Tony Soprano's daughter.
Speaker 3 (06:27):
Basically, it was like, oh you cool with something, Okay,
well don't with some nigga Once a while would say
something slick. But for the most part, there was a
lot of bullshit that I didn't put up with as
a female comics starting out in urban rooms. That because
there was Big Kenny and I knew a lot of
the comics before I started. It was a lot of oh,
(06:49):
she good, she good.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
Oh you know, don't you're almost spoiled by that.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
It's not a spoiled but I mean like going into
this particular night.
Speaker 4 (06:58):
Well you were almost like, I'm protected. Big Kenny's got
has vouch for me, and see what this is.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
That scrambled a little bit because you were like, I'm
gonna be Everything's gonna be just dandy.
Speaker 3 (07:08):
Well, the thing is, so at this point, I was
doing both rooms, and I was only doing mainstream rooms
at this point because even though I didn't put up
a bullshit from like a people, yeah, I still wasn't
getting up because I was a girl, right, So I
still wasn't getting a lot of time in urban rooms.
So I started just doing more mainstream rooms. Well, people
also don't realize what Big Kenny taught me was in
(07:30):
urban rooms, you have a laugh every thirty second.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Think about the number of times you put to a
white show just still doing his setup and I'm.
Speaker 2 (07:37):
Like, wow, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, a.
Speaker 3 (07:40):
Two minute fucking setup.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yeah really yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
It's like when I watch Earthquake or I watched j
Anthony Brown, like those guys like the setup is punchlines.
Speaker 2 (07:49):
I'm away to the punch out and that's it's like
every sentence, it's like the machine gun. You're like, what
the fuck? Their writing is just like unbelievable.
Speaker 4 (07:58):
And then you're like, you watch those guys like, oh yeah,
you have to get a laugh every sentence. Yes, on
the way to the big yes laugh and that better
big people laugh.
Speaker 3 (08:07):
But if you watch me, that's how I do my joke.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it makes you strong. I mean, urban
rooms make you.
Speaker 4 (08:14):
You go back to the mainstream room, you're like, I've
been lifting five hundred pound weights days.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
But they make you strong if you can get on stage.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah. And that's the other thing. So what happened at
this particular So.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
This particular evening at Barnacles.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
Barnacles and are the football games going on the fucking
flat screen and.
Speaker 3 (08:35):
Attention but because of but the host, to his credit,
made them turn the TVs off.
Speaker 4 (08:43):
Huh But some times that brings animosity at the top
of the thing. Well, what they said was he was
like a stage of the guys on the floor. There
was a slight stage, slight stages, but everything was.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
Directed towards that stage because we were in the different room.
And he was like, yo, if you want to watch
the game, because it was almost like a big event room, okay,
because they had the chairs all turned to the stage
and they're like, he was like, listen, if you want
to watch the game, you go to the bar. Okay,
we haven't shown here.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Okay, that's fair. That's a good way to I was like, God, bless, Yeah,
that's a good way to do.
Speaker 3 (09:11):
A number of times I have had to tell jokes
in front of a championship.
Speaker 4 (09:14):
Oh I've been. I've been like, they just walked me
out with no inch. I've been in a sports bar.
They just magically turned off all the TVs, didn't announced shit,
and I just had to walk out amongst tables and
chairs and just start telling jokes in like a sports
bar in Florida.
Speaker 2 (09:32):
I called They're just like what? People are like what?
Speaker 4 (09:34):
And then they're like, is one of the waiters talking
for some reason into a microphone? And the first like
five to ten minutes are just people comprehending what's going on.
And by then it's over like you're just bombing, Like
they're like, stop talking. I was just watching basketball out.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
I call that Kamakazi comedy.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
You are living your life, trap.
Speaker 3 (09:55):
You are living your life watching the game, eating some
mediocre wings and then all of a sudden, so uh,
you guys ever know, bitch, we have it.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
They're like, who the fuck is this guy? The bus
boy won't shut the fuck.
Speaker 3 (10:09):
Up, sir, Who let you in here? Security security, come
get this man.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Oh man, those shows what you're awful?
Speaker 1 (10:17):
Okay, So the host is on stage and he goes
you guys want to watch the game, set of the bars,
watch the show.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
We're here for a show.
Speaker 3 (10:23):
Because there are people that bought tickets to the show,
and then people just want to watch the game. But
there's like a pool table like way off in the bag,
and people are actually playing pool, but they're kind of
like paying attention. And so I probably went up like
dead in the middle, because that's the thing that I
like to do. People like, oh, they want to go
up last, they want to go first.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
No, I'll be fifth, yeah, third, fourth.
Speaker 3 (10:41):
Third, fourth, fifth, yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Why Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
That's that's how you know you've been working as a comic,
where you're like, I'll go third.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Also, I need to whoever is listening if you are
a comic. No, going last does not mean you headlined.
Speaker 1 (10:59):
No, not on those shows. That's just like a showcase show.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Going last means you closed.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
Yes.
Speaker 3 (11:06):
Also, yes, stop calling me and Eric Andre to come
to your show. To go last. And when we say
we want to go third, yeah, well you know what
the audience.
Speaker 2 (11:18):
Yeah, yeah, I hate that show.
Speaker 3 (11:19):
If your audience leaves because I left.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
That's all. That's not me, That's true.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
I always feel guilty and I'm like, okay, all right,
I'll go last, And then I'm waiting like seven hours
through a bunch of like nonsense, and I'm like, I
don't even know that. This is just a guy that
got my email from somebody that I don't even know. Like,
I'm like, well, I don't know anybody.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
This guy's paying me thirteen bucks to sit on a
seven hour show.
Speaker 2 (11:43):
Yes, I'm getting paid.
Speaker 3 (11:48):
You have to be respectful of people's time.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
Yeah, you have to.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
Be respectful of the fact that I've been doing this
for twelve thirteen years. I already did this telling jokes
in a fucking basement of a pizza restaurant.
Speaker 2 (11:59):
Yeah, in twenty ten, I feel guilty.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
You can't, there's no no, because you didn't do anything wrong.
Somebody is wasting your time. You worked hard enough to
go This is when I'd.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
Like to go up. Yeah, you're right. Third is my sweets.
Third or fourth, the third or four, fifth, and so
so you're there, I'm in your play. You're going up
fifth going up? Are the comics? How are the comics
before you doing?
Speaker 3 (12:23):
The comics that do urban rooms kill it, the comics
that do mainstream rooms not killing No, the two comics
in Atlanta. I saw the bet that could Clayton English
seamless between doing a mainstream room and an urban room.
Speaker 2 (12:39):
That's the fucking sweet spot, seamless. That's why he's fucking amazing.
Speaker 3 (12:42):
He's a beast. Rob Hay, same thing. He's a beast
Clayton English. I'm talking about no difference. And I know
when I so, I know when I do urban room. Okay,
I have to be you know, a little bit more
more energy, you talk a little faster about it. It's
bout by by by by by bye because little more.
That's just what it is. Clayton English. I've been watching
(13:05):
this man because he's one of the first comics I've
been watching clay He was just two thousand and seven.
Because I said them one day, I was like, do
you know I've known you since I was twenty seven
years old? He said, your nigga, get away from it?
Speaker 2 (13:16):
Were you like falling in love with him?
Speaker 3 (13:18):
And I just talked sweet, but I'm just like, you know,
I have known you since I was like twenty seven. Yeah,
he said what I said, I'm thirty nine. He said,
get away from it out He's like, I love you,
but back it up. He was not trying to hear
it at all. And it's weird to think about that.
I've known this niggas two thousand and seven. But if
(13:38):
you watched this, it was very up and down. The
audience was very up and down, okay, and people were
kind of like coming in and out of it room,
and the room got settled a little bit before I
went up. And this is this is the thing. Did
I bomb bomb?
Speaker 2 (13:55):
No?
Speaker 3 (13:56):
I saw the comics on the show eat a Bag
of Dude, Yeah, which I know confuses people would go,
why is that called bombing? I don't know what it's called,
eat Dick. I don't know what's called the bag. And
I don't know why bombing destroyed. I don't I don't
as you.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
Yeah, yeah, it's true. I don't know why bombing means
one thing and destroyed me as the opposite.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
But right, and so oh that's interesting. Bombing and destroyed
means to destroyed, said I bombed horribly horrific.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
So what happened?
Speaker 3 (14:24):
I feel I'm not leaving out of key thing. I'm
gonna trying to explain to you. If someone else watched me,
they wouldn't think that I bombed.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
What affected you? That it's stuck to your ribs for
six months?
Speaker 3 (14:38):
I couldn't get everyone in the room to laugh at
the same time.
Speaker 2 (14:43):
There's little pockets.
Speaker 3 (14:44):
It was every other person, every other joke. So someone
I had just made laugh my next joke, I couldn't
get him to laugh. And then they're sitting at a
table together. This would suck me up. I watched one table.
They would laugh at every other joke, but they didn't
(15:05):
laugh at the same time, so neither one of them
found the same thing funny at the same time.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Did this make you psychologically unraveled? Did you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Because I couldn't because.
Speaker 2 (15:14):
There was you couldn't figure out what.
Speaker 3 (15:16):
I couldn't figure out how to fix it because there
was one table that was laughing the whole time, some
tables that weren't laughing at all, and then it was
other tables that were every other joke, every other person.
So I was like, I got head because I couldn't
figure out in I have just bomb bombed.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
I could accept the bomb, right.
Speaker 3 (15:34):
They didn't like it. You fucking do your time, you
move on.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
But this was more of a mental.
Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yes, because it's like I couldn't find the right thing
to get them all, and it fuck it fucked with
me so bad because it was like as a comic,
you're like, okay, because when you're getting to like because
this when of the first time they started doing like
a ten minute set, we just started to do ten
minute sets, right, so that's enough time to get people
or lose people, or get them or lose them and
(16:02):
bring them back. But there's enough to in a ten
minute set, because when you first start doing ten minute sets,
it feels like a fucking.
Speaker 2 (16:10):
It's a long ten minutes, ten minutes.
Speaker 3 (16:13):
People don't realize, like you don't realize how long time.
Like the only time like you think about time like
this is when you're microwaving something. We're like, a minute
and a half is like, oh my children, my children,
Like a minute and a half of the microwave is dead.
That's what it's ten We first.
Speaker 2 (16:29):
Start feeling a good point.
Speaker 4 (16:31):
Yes, the microwave feels long, like nothing else except stand up.
Speaker 2 (16:36):
If someone don't microwaving and stand up are weirdly similar. Yes,
if never thought about it.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
If someone looked at you in the face and said,
wait for a minute and a half, you go.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
What yeah, maybe yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:47):
A little minute, yeah, a minute and a half go.
Speaker 2 (16:49):
You're like, I don't know, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
You fucking scratch your hass, you'd be done. You're like,
this is what, Yeah, but a microwave, the sands have done, yeah,
or moving and your food's not hot, so you're like,
birds have stopped flapping.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
A minute, so you get off stage.
Speaker 3 (17:08):
So this was the weird part. It's I'm on stage
and in my mind it's like, but some people are laughing,
You're fine. But there was just I just couldn't wrap
my head around what was going on because it was like, listen,
I don't do I always do great in urban rooms. No. Also,
I mean it just by nature intimidating, but they want
(17:29):
to be intimidating because the open mic at uptown was
literally called boo night. That's hard, and they stopped booming
and they just shake their keys at people like nigga,
go home.
Speaker 2 (17:43):
It's a possum amount of.
Speaker 3 (17:46):
Your dreams beat it, get out of here. You see
what I'm saying. So it fucked me up because I couldn't.
I think would bug me the most is it was
every other person laughing at every other joke, which meant
that I didn't know what anybody liked because of it.
It was a bunch of people. If there was ever
(18:08):
a moment where everyone laughed at the same thing, then
I would go boom, Okay, that's what I need to do.
Speaker 2 (18:13):
Right.
Speaker 1 (18:14):
So did this affect you because it made you psychologically
unravel about your entire set. Yes, and you were like
everything I built is just crumbled into It was like
a house of cards and it just fucking crumbled.
Speaker 3 (18:29):
It made me think more about me as a performer.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
Because you brought it, brought everything into questions.
Speaker 3 (18:37):
It made me question things because it was just like
one It's like there's urban room in the there's.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
A hood room.
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Oh yeah, Like people have guns at the table, which
I don't mind. With every condrey with a recondre how
was your love life? Put it all out on the table.
(19:05):
I no boundaries here. That's a new premise of the show,
No boundaries.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
I am You're on hinge. I got off all of
those you're on Riyah Rayah is racist as ship?
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Is it? They don't accept black people.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Let me tell you something I could not.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
I'm on Blast, I could not.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I'll say this, I.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
It's a white people app.
Speaker 3 (19:26):
It's a very watch of white people app. You had
to have it first of all. It's like you have
to have iPhone to use it. But the fun thing
about that app.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Is that I'm old enough to remember Black Planet.
Speaker 3 (19:35):
Do you know they're still on the internet. That's still
a website.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
I'm the fucking goddamn president a black planet.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
How do we buy a black planet?
Speaker 2 (19:41):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I think it's called something else now, still black black Planet.
I was on Black Planet and Jay Date, I.
Speaker 3 (19:47):
Was on Black Wait. I was on Black Planet. I
was on me hin.
Speaker 2 (19:51):
Have you ever dated a white guy? Yes, a Jewish man.
Jewish man love?
Speaker 3 (19:55):
Have you not heard? I have a whole bit about it.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Really, Oh, Jewish men love you?
Speaker 3 (19:59):
They I mean I love working for me.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
I'll say that.
Speaker 3 (20:04):
My manager and my lawyer.
Speaker 4 (20:06):
Your lawyer, unbelievable, very I.
Speaker 3 (20:14):
Can't stand you. Those men are very much happily married.
And I'm very sad, no i am.
Speaker 4 (20:19):
But they're in a polyamorous, open relationship and you're there
one past. I'm just putting that out there.
Speaker 3 (20:25):
No, they're very nice, but I can't say if it
wasn't for the white means is I would not have
had sex between twenty sixteen and twenty eighteen.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Wait, so the white guys are.
Speaker 3 (20:36):
It's yeah, I mean it's I also.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
But the first dominating you, well.
Speaker 3 (20:40):
They I've never known a white man dominate me.
Speaker 2 (20:43):
Uh that man is?
Speaker 3 (20:44):
That man?
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Was?
Speaker 3 (20:45):
Persian love life non existent? How'd your love life?
Speaker 5 (20:49):
I love?
Speaker 3 (20:49):
I love?
Speaker 2 (20:50):
That's good.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I'm sure yours is good. Yeah, I'm sure you're a
nice little you know, some interesting girl.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Hanging out with a gal that makes sense? Hanging out
with a gap?
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Did you're dropping it off?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
In No?
Speaker 3 (21:03):
My my love life since I've moved here, I've been
in a biblical.
Speaker 1 (21:07):
Wait wait, wait, hold on, when did you move here
twenty seventeen?
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I thought you've been here for like a decade.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
I was in La before that.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Well, we are going to find you the Dominican Persian
love of your love.
Speaker 2 (21:21):
Listen, this is happens to be Jewish.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Did you and he's going to be giant? Why don't
you date a w c W wrestler. I'm going to
hook you up with the wrestler. I got John Cena's number.
Would you make love to John? I think he's married.
Speaker 4 (21:34):
Well, the other thing, what wrestler is your type? I'm
going to match make you with the wrestler. I love Jewish,
so I love matchmaking. Who's your celebrity crush and who's
your ideal?
Speaker 3 (21:42):
My celebrity crush is Michael Strahan.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Michael Strahan because he's beautiful wrestler. Wise, I don't have
access to Michael Strahan. Wrestlers love me. Wrestlers and porn
people love me.
Speaker 3 (21:53):
Those USLO boys are cute.
Speaker 2 (21:56):
The USA boys, so you'd be in a throupple, I
would be.
Speaker 3 (21:58):
I mean one of them is married to a black girl.
Speaker 2 (22:01):
About the other one, I don't know that's your guy.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
So brothers, Yeah, was cute us O, which I think.
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Oh so they're big somemoanan dude. Yeah, oh yeah, okay,
I like.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Mean being like that.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I want to feel a dancy Oh yes, okay, os
so bros.
Speaker 2 (22:22):
I I it's a whole lot of man. Yeah, twins,
so you can get him confused and you could suck
the other one if you get pissed out the.
Speaker 3 (22:28):
Other ones just married and I don't married man.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Okay, that's fine, that's fair. Fair you want to be
all lamb about it.
Speaker 3 (22:35):
My goal in life is.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Do you think you've ever fucked married man? And you have?
Speaker 3 (22:38):
I didn't know you're fucked up? He didn't tell me.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
How dare you ruin this sanctity?
Speaker 3 (22:43):
He never wore a ring and he didn't tell me
he was married.
Speaker 2 (22:46):
Find out when I saw.
Speaker 3 (22:48):
I saw him like a year or two later, and
he had a ring on, and I was like, what
was excuse me?
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Really? You confronted about it?
Speaker 1 (22:55):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (22:55):
And I was like a nigga for a year.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Or two goes by, he could have got married in
that year or two.
Speaker 3 (23:00):
He had been married for ten And I was like, sir,
he was like, I was married the whole time. Is
what the fuck do you mean?
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Did him and his wife have understanding?
Speaker 3 (23:12):
Absolutely not, absolutely not, because I can say in his defense,
I didn't know he was married, but I knew he
was in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Uh huh.
Speaker 3 (23:22):
So listen, I'm not gonna fuck up a marriage.
Speaker 2 (23:24):
Yeah, but your girlfriend sometimes.
Speaker 4 (23:27):
A girlfriend doesn't count, But you can't fuck up a marriage.
Especially I got kids, and.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
It was like they definitely a kids.
Speaker 1 (23:32):
My friend put it this way, He's like, I never
want to hook up with a married woman because the
anger of the husband finding out, like that specific type
of anger kills.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
I would never want that anger from another man. That's
like primal.
Speaker 3 (23:49):
The number of people who have died for fucking with
somebody's spouse. Like it's I mean it very much, is like,
oh it is.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
It's old school. It's old school. It's one of the
ten commandments.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yes, this is from old Fuck your neighbors, cover the
neighbor's wife.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
Don't kill, and don't covet a neighbor's oxen or something
or mule or something like. No. I think also, you know.
Speaker 4 (24:13):
There's one of them that's like, don't touch your neighbor's
ox No, there.
Speaker 3 (24:16):
Is no no, it's covered. It can either be covered
the wife or covered something from your name, like covered
anything from your neighbors. So the first guy there was
from a salvador so like as a teenager, and then I.
Speaker 1 (24:29):
As a teenager, faded as Salvadorian because he lived in
my neighborhood. Oh okay, it wasn't a long distance ninety.
Speaker 3 (24:36):
His whole family lived on the other side of our
apartment complex, like grandma, aunts, uncles, fucking cousins, everybody. Okay,
so and then it's been mostly black dudes. I could say,
the ones who put in the most time and broke
my heart black dudes, cause them in the ones that
was closest to me. But yeah, like white dudes are
(24:57):
a Filipino dude for about twenty minutes. But it's been
most you know, black and Latin white dudes. But since
I moved here, dating here.
Speaker 2 (25:05):
Is what do you mean?
Speaker 1 (25:07):
It's New York City, no romantic No, these motherfuckers don't
talk to people.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
No, bro, I'm trying how to get on black planet.
Speaker 3 (25:16):
I've been on dating apps here. The most dates I've
ever been on was right after Lockdown ended.
Speaker 2 (25:21):
Oh you were crushing it.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Bro, because I'm a fucker spent five months with their
hands and was like, I would give a big.
Speaker 2 (25:25):
Bitch a chance.
Speaker 3 (25:26):
I don't care. I don't care.
Speaker 2 (25:34):
With Ari Condre.
Speaker 4 (25:46):
With Ari Condrey, I want to ask the words mommy
or was? And I want to ask have you've ever
been drunk on stage? Those are my two questions, So
any order you want to do those.
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I can't be drunk. I've been tipsy on stage and
it made my brain foggy.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
And it like I did it end in catastrophe or okay?
So tell me what was the thing?
Speaker 2 (26:05):
I like it? What did you go?
Speaker 3 (26:08):
I can say again?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
What did you see? Not a not a not a
bomb bomb okay.
Speaker 3 (26:14):
But a comic you know starbar?
Speaker 2 (26:17):
Yeah, starbar in Atlanta, like little five points.
Speaker 3 (26:19):
Yeah yeah yeah, see it on the Monday night show.
Speaker 2 (26:22):
I think so yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:24):
So a comic from New York could come down to
do it, okay, and he was unaware of this five
dollars special they would have where you could get a
shot of jamison and a whole beer for five bucks.
And he'd been living here for years, so five.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
So he's like, that's a bar that's like this is
the best deal on earth.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
The deal, yeah, the deal, right, And so he goes
to close out and he's only doing thirty minutes, right,
It's like a long ass open microsproblic twelve thirteen people
to go up and then the headliner. So he's he
took like he's been drinking all night, but he was
like fucked up. And then he took like two so
(27:07):
he's in the middle of the set. I think it
tooks like one or two shots on excuse me on stage,
and you see the alcohol hit.
Speaker 2 (27:14):
Him while he's mid joke while.
Speaker 3 (27:17):
He's on stage to the point, so he tells a
joke and gets a laugh, and then he starts to joke.
Speaker 2 (27:26):
Again, like completely not realizing.
Speaker 5 (27:32):
Not realizing people are like laughing because they're like, okay, yeah,
He's like and then he gets to the end of
it and like the laugh of He's like, wait, did
I tell that joke?
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Girl?
Speaker 2 (27:45):
They were like yes, It's my biggest fear.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
And then he starts to joke a third no.
Speaker 2 (27:53):
Bro's Jameson and beer is not for you.
Speaker 3 (27:56):
No no, no, no, no no, And and everybody's like, hey,
the third time is rough and he but he did
it so like you it hit him and then it
fucking slammed him.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
When he saw his name is Mark Norman.
Speaker 4 (28:13):
Mark, think you're like, I can't say. They like, yeah,
no problems Mark, But this was like Mark was that drunk.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
He was fucked up?
Speaker 2 (28:24):
Wow, I was hanging out anyway, what was the joke?
Speaker 3 (28:28):
But I don't God, I didn't know Zen when I
was telling the stories zen, I didn't know the joke.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Well, you were watching it, you didn't know the joke.
Speaker 3 (28:34):
And I told the next time, third time, and then
everyone was like hey, hey, and then he got too
drunk to finish his No. So he was supposed to
do thirty. I don't think he did the full thirty.
Speaker 2 (28:46):
He liked a bargain he saw it was five dollars.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
He's been in New York for so long.
Speaker 2 (28:51):
Does he drink like that?
Speaker 3 (28:52):
I don't know if he still does. One of my
favorite things to do at like comedy festivals is I
would come up to comments ago, give your best.
Speaker 2 (29:00):
Mark Norman, oh ship, yeah I have. Oh huh, well
that's fucking weird.
Speaker 3 (29:15):
Yes, you would be.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
He's like a he's like I've known since his early
twenties and he's like a fifty.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
Five year old like man. My question since his like twenties,
he's like. But my question is, yeah, I love him
by the way.
Speaker 3 (29:31):
Oh, I love him too.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
He's great.
Speaker 3 (29:33):
He used to come up to me and if I
was sitting down, he would have slapped my thigh and
grab it and go, oh if I wasn't gay, just
walk off.
Speaker 2 (29:41):
Is he gay? He's a gay?
Speaker 1 (29:42):
No?
Speaker 2 (29:43):
He's like married, right, yes.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But what's funny because I meet too. Ship started to
quit doing it and I'd be like Norman normand so
now I'd come up to him and go, I wasn't gay,
He's like, but he's one of my favorites thanks to
is it being festivals and be like, hey, comic, give
me your best mind. The way that people get so
(30:07):
excited to do it.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Oh fuck, I can see that.
Speaker 3 (30:09):
It's like almost like a little bonding thing.
Speaker 2 (30:11):
I could see that where everyone's like, well.
Speaker 3 (30:13):
You do your best one. But I think it's so wild,
like Mark Norman grew up in New Orleans.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Really, yes, studies like from like Michigan.
Speaker 3 (30:23):
No, he should sound like Sean Patton.
Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, yeah, he should be like.
Speaker 1 (30:27):
Oh lord, those thirty one spices and herbs.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
O lord. And on that note, ladies and gentlemen, Bill
Zey slam thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (30:47):
With Aeric Condrey Bombing with Eric Andres brought to you
by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast.
Speaker 2 (30:54):
Executive produced by.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Hans Sani Olivia Aguilar, edited and sound designed by Andy Harris,
and our art is by Dylan. If you want to
confess to your own bombing moments or give us a
shout out. Go rate us five stars and drop a
review on your podcast app a choice right about your
own stories of bombing at life, and if you're on
Apple Podcasts, you could also subscribe a Big Mini Player's
Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every episode and
(31:15):
listen to all my episodes at free. The guests on
Bombing with Eric Andre were recorded before the sag after
strike
Host
Eric Andre
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