October 29, 2025 • 43 mins
Back with another favorite this week! Eric is joined by longtime LA bud, John Famiglietti AKA Johnny Health, frontman of industrial, noise rock band HEALTH, for debauchery. John starts off with a confession about being a stand-up ass-wiper. John then relives the time he got hit by a bagel while opening for Nine Inch Nails in Atlantic City. Oh yeah, and that one time HEALTH really hit the brown note and made a girl spray diarrhea mid crowd surf at The Fonda Theatre. Yep, bet you’ll never look at crowd surfing the same way again.
Follow Johnny Health at @_johnny_health_ and HEALTH at @_health_
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing, the podcast where
I talked to comedians, artists, and other interesting people about
the worst bombs of their careers. On today's episode, we
have John Famileetti from the band hell Jan and I
talk about ass wiping, drugs, the time he came on
the Eric Andre Show, more drugs, and a girl shooting
her pants. Who's gonna love? Listen to this podcast enjoy.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Bombing, Balming with Eric Anddre.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm here with John Health from Health and I've known
you for baby. I'm just say fifteen years, yeah, something
like that. You do the Eric Andre Show I watched.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I remember my friends are like, dude, you got this guy?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Or Condre.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
They showed me like this, like I hate from a
comedy club, like very very.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh really whoa.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
That was when Andrew and Kitao, like right before the
start working with.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You, Yeah, Duke and all those guys say yeah, yeah,
jen One.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
It's all fun. We were on the first the pilot
episode of Eric Andre. It was never aired, but we
were on it.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh yeah, I'm almost none of that aired, and all
my friends that were on it were mad at me.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
They caught up that little pieces for that one super
super crazy episode you guys did with like a million clips.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
A little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a tale
about you that is fucking hilarious Okay, and it's not bombing.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is outrageous.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Can I kick off with it? Your bombing sory?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No hit it, no hit it, hit it.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
It's fucking crazy, man. It's what I associate you with
the most.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Okay, do you want it?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I want it?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Can you handle it?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I can handle it?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Okay. You were living with somebody else in the band
at this time? Were you living with another band?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I've lived with both of the band members at different times.
Who I love with Jake and I also love a
beach separately.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I think it was I think he was living with Jake.
So you live with Jake and you ran out of
you guys, you ran out of toilet paper. You know
the story. He ran out of toilet paper, and Jake's like, no,
I bought toilet paper last twenty times. I'm not buying
it again. I'm not buying it. It's John's turned Toliver
and then he like was sneaking toilet paper in because
(02:03):
he was indignant that you had to chip into the
toilet paper, you know, like total roommate ship. Yeah, and
he was sneaking in a roll timom and you go, ah, ship,
and you were cooking. You're in the kitchen cooking food
and you're, oh, dude, toilet paper nice, they needed that,
and you grabbed it and you wiped your ass and
you wiped like.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Four weeks of ship out of your ass.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You were like, thangs, dude, I needed and then like
god knows what you did with it, like chucked it
into the garbage get or something like that. I'm like,
what in the fucking guantanamobey is that?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, so let's.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Let's let's hear your side of the story.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Said that is true. I don't I would say four weeks,
but that is true. That's a true story.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You want your ass in the kitchen?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I did.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I did well? I really, I mean it was on
you know, it's like to unwipe your do have an
a wipe ass? You know double white? Do you just
buy toilet paper and wipe your ass at the back
That time was the lean times. Then you know, can't
be that lead, Get be that lead.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
That's like that's like third world, like pop a New
Guinea like lead and that's like like.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Our third roommate. He was like you, Johnny know quietly,
you're the most discussing person I've ever met.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
So you were like a fill said that.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
No, I'm not a dirty person.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No, he said, no, wipe not wiping your ass for
weeks and then only wiping your ass because you know, somebody.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I don't think it was weeks, satur days, let's days,
maybe a day.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
But also, how are you wiping your ass without toilet paper?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
How are you wiping your ass?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
You know, it's a long time ago. We have all
the evidence, you know, Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
This.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I wasn't I guess I just wasn't wiping. You know, man,
my apartment just.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Not wipe and you were just walking around town.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Maybe it's like you know, you likes you started like
clean completion. No, it's a perfect ship.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I guarantee you.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
But it exists as a concept, but.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You were not you were not exercising the concept.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
No, No, hey, you know it was a long time ago.
It times different. I mean my ass is wipe right now,
by the.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Way, I don't even know if that's true.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, do you buy toilet paper now?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Costco by the bulk. I never run out, Oh no,
now you're wiping. I've all, yeah, I'm a wiper. You know,
it's actually funny. I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
This is I never looked at you the same again
after I heard that's okay here, and I kept it inside.
I didn't even tell you.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Another weird wrinkle, like like I never wiped my ass
sitting down until I was like twenty two or something.
What did you You stood up and wiped it so
much better if you're sitting down?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Why?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I never curd to me, why did you stand up?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I just thought that's what you did.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You would ship then stand ass and then drop it
in the toilet. Yeah, why naturally?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Naturally that's how I developed it.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I didn't realize it was actually guys in the band
they're like, you wipe yours like you know, it's much
better if you sit down, And I was like really,
you know, I'm like, whoa, this is way better, so
much cleaner. So I think at that time I was
only a stand up wiper.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Did your parents potty train you to stand and wipe?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well? You know, where did it come from? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I don't know because I remember being a kid. You
know your your parents will literally wipe your ass, you
know your yeah, yeah, your kid. But you yelled here
you dinner, You yell like I need something to come
and wipe your ass.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And then you're like sixteen, no, no on.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Is sorry, but you start doing yourself. And he was
just I always stood up? Whe did you always wipe
sitting down? Yes, okay, that's good. It's good for you obviously,
and you went this is another question. We found this
out to see back then we found a half half
the band wiped back to front, back to the front.
We discussed, I know, but they did it. We didn't
believe them. They will do they do.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
But why the ball?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
That's also yes, I know, but they said, hey, it
doesn't matter if you have a pussy. But still it's
still towards your ball. It's still less proper.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It might be less of a risk than of but
like you're you're bringing ship towards the back of your ball.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I just wiped standing up because that's how I thought
you did it, you know, but anyway, I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well you barely. You didn't wipe for weeks.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
That's animals like a very limited time.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
It was a whild that was the two thousands. Different time.
You know, we don't know what we didn't know really
different time. You know, I'm not I always just walking
around a nasty ass.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I thought like for years you were walking that was
just that was a ship.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That was just like one off, one isolated incident of
a nasty It's.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Come on, I got more sense. We all want to
be itchy all the time.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
It.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, if you had ship on your asses.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I thought you had.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I thought you were like a ship ass kind of guy,
Like you had tons of ship in your ass for life.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
That'd be so noticeable. Dude, you just never wiped your ass.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
It would smell. Yeah, it'd be odorous.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
You don't smell great.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, I mean I'm not. I don't want my nose
in your pants. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Fact, if if we were a doggy style or something,
yeah doggies. Yeah, yeah, that's real though. It actually back
in clean completion. I know a friend, so he did
this vegan girl and she's like, she's like, she's like,
I don't want my ass. I do clean completion. And
he's like, what's that. She's like, well, she's like, if
you have a proper diet. You have a perfect shit
clean completion, which I've had before.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You drive vegan is a proper diet, and I don't
think that. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Well, you get sick and I have diarrhect But let's
say you have a perfect ship because it's happened, you know,
you fly it and there's literally nothing there once in
a blue moon, you know, So she did.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That wipe every time. I wouldn't even know.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You wouldn't even Well, don't you look at it? What
if you don't, there's just no look what do you
want to stop?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
When I was a little kid, maybe maybe.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Okay, you don't look at it when you wow? Never
do you just trust yourself? Like three you.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Might Well, I have a total toilet.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Oh yes, I like those are wonderful.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I got the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I got the fucking the Japanese squirter.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Then I do a wet wipe. Then I do a wipe.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It is ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
And in the shower, I have the hand shower and
shower the assle.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I have one of the cleanest assholes in show business.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's absurd.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's like me and you on the assholes red room.
On the hygiene, I have a dat but whole hygiene,
but I.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Don't use it though. I prefer to go dry.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Why.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's mortal, earthy. It's just like I don't know, like
it's just it's barns were there, Like, yes, I don't
have this pomp and circumstance. I got to wash my
hands now.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
So you don't wash your hands out, saying I shook
your hand on the way.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I wash my hands. I'm a normal person, but
just like you know, I.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Don't think you are. I don't have a fun far
from normal.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
I got the laptop here, You're like, wipe my hand?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Come on, will you wipe your hands on?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
What?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Tell? But no, you're very You're not cleanly.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I'm not no, no, no, I'm clean a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Do you wash your hands out? Do you take a poop? Poop? Yes,
a peep?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Do you wash your hands before you eat?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Sometimes you know what you're.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You probably never get sick constantly. I have a hand
sanitizer on me. I would think you're gonna use it
right now. I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
It's ridiculous, that's bad. That's a bad way to live.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
No, you know what.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Here's the thing, though, I'll do this.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I started doing this all the time. I stopped getting
sick all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh okay, well I don't get sick.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, because you have so many germs in you, you're
like a fortress. Okay, tell me some bombing stories.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Oh man, So okay we did this is just and
I'm sure you've done. Do you ever do something you
get hard for these corporate gigs?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, I've definitely done gigs where I'm like, I'm not
supposed to be here.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yeah, we did. It was for Spotify Germany. It's probably Spotify.
No its boat. It was a boat, no bows and
Spotify private party, right, And they weren't allowed to be
in there, so they kept us in this.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Like shed who wasn't allowed to be in there?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
We they didn't want us in the party except for
the performance, so.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
They just so we like, yeah, we didn't couch.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Well, they had to set up our gear and like
rush us out, like got four guests.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
She was like come on, I get over here, good fear.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And then they had to sit back and we sat
there for like three hours in this tiny room They're
like okay, go go gole. So they get there and
we go and like the room was so tiny. It
was like this and it's like low ceilings and it
was like all white people like in suits and they
were like forty feet from the stage in this room
just all open and it was so crowded. We like
I played in behind a pillar and we just played
the set of like you know sound at the time.
(09:45):
It was just all this noise and like trying our
best to it is just horrified and I'm like, I'm like,
what asshole looked us?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah? Why did you have us?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And the second were done, they just rushed us out
and it was bizarre and they immediately put us on
a bus and got us off off the promises. Yeah,
this weird, like mansion all the ship like that, And
I'm like, like what intern got fired for that? Yeah,
there's nothing that deep about the story.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's just it's weird.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah, well get the page. I can get the funk
out of there.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It was a band split payment four ways. I never
understand how it bendes.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Was only three guys now, but yeah three do.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You split it evenly?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Tour does it have to be like that or a
the beam fights.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, I doesn't have to. We just didn't ever work
it from the beginning. We didn't plan on doing it,
so we didn't like work out. But it's not on tour,
it's like all this it's the same work for everyone.
We played Lallapalooza in the rain and uh and this
is this is what was numberable because it was it
was it was we had to open the day with
the first bend of the day and it was raining, so
there was like hardly anyone there and we were trying
our best to go and and what happened was it
(10:42):
was so wet. I was trying to rock out. My
right foot hit this like puddle water and then I
just slid going. I kept going. I couldn't stop. I
couldn't stop, and Jake was singing and he turned to
me and out of nowhere, I was doing the splits
like screaming, and he thought his head that I was
just like possessed by the moment though I was like,
you were like rocking like fucking James Brown or something like.
(11:03):
He said, laughings are hard. He couldn't sick. I like
tore my girls.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
It's terrible but you thought you were like over and
you were like an.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Aggay, Yeah, it's funny. Bomb Bomby stories aren't that long?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Gotta be lock whatever, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Uh oh actually.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I thought you got like electrocuted on stage or something. No,
is that the worst injury you've had on stage? How
did you play the rest of the show? Oh? I
just I was just like, you know, yeah, yeah, adrenalin.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah, you're because you're in show mode, like you know,
like everyone's like, oh, would you shoot your pants a stage?
Like no, like you immediately lock in like it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
The adrenaline, the show mode.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Adrenaline protects you from the pain that you're gonna This
isn't really afterwards you feel pain. Oh, totally, you feel pain.
I had a fucking I just played Alaska.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
I don't want to in the winter.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I played in like June or July, and like what
was it ampler like a sp Like I jumped onto
my desk, it broke in half and the sampler went
because in the first ten seconds of the show, like
the very first thing I did, and.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Like is that on video?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Probably? Yeah, And it just like the whole thing clocked
me in the temple and it was so painful, and
it was like the very first five seconds of the show,
so the whole show I had like a Fred Flintstone
lump and a massive headache. But it wasn't that bad.
I knew it was gonna hurt way worse, like an
hour after the show when the adrenaline wears off. But
(12:39):
even with the adrenaline, it was. It was fucking agony.
And I'm so mad at my tour manager because I
was like, we just needed it for sound check, and
I was like, please don't forget to take that sampler
off the fucking I know it's gonna catapult, and.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh you're the table was supposed to break.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
The table was supposed to break. Gig table. Yeah, the
table was supposed to be the death, just supposed to break,
but the sampler was supposed to not be there. At
that time. I was just doing like a tech check sout,
yeah yeah, and uh uh fuck man, it was so pain.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
I'm sure you already probably didn't oother podcast because you
do all the crowd ship we're running around, so I
never just fucking just go terribly. This doesn't work all
the time.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
One time I jumped off stage and this kid went no,
and like his finger fully went into my eyeball like
in like yeah, like my eyeball squished back into my
brain because his finger like broke my fall. Oh it
was rough.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
That was rough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That was That was another like very beginning of this day.
It was like like back in the blades, but it's
so painful.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, that was at FYF. I remember it was Tim
and Eric and uh where him went over the thing
the barrier to like CrowdSurf and he just took out
this girl.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Oh no, oh no, yeah, he's a big Yeah. I
was like I started the last tour I did last year.
I was like, I'm forty, I can steal CrowdSurf. We
were playing at the Lodge Room. Yeah, and I jumped
off stage and the crowd just went and boom, and
I just like I thought I broke a rib the
(14:16):
whole year now, I like landed on my shoulder, my
side and like right on that like concrete floor, and
I was like, like it hurt to breathe. I was like,
fuck if I broke and we just it wasn't even
the beginning of tour. It was like these two little
guinea pig shows like experiment like test dry runs basically
like dress rehearsals. And I was like, if I broke
(14:37):
my rib before we even start and we're already selling.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Tickets, could you do the tour the broken rabber?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Now? Not? Well, not really because because there's so much
physical stuff. And then uh, I had a Vancouver show
where I crowdsurfed and this kid underneath me put all
four fingers at my ass.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Another kid, wait, wait, wait, okay, logistical issue, how did
he get there?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Through my pants?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Like what you were like, what kind of pants are wearing?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I'm wearing a tuxedo, So how did he gets past that? No,
he wasn't like, it wasn't like actually in my ass.
It was like through the pants, like if you just
went like this to me right now. So it was
like four look, but he was cramming them to like
he was touching my ass off.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
That's like a super condom one.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then another kid, a middlesecond latter, grabbed my dicken balls
as hard as he could. Then another kid gave me
a wet willie. This is all within ten seconds. Another
kid give me what willie? Another kid grabbed I was
throwing hot dogs out in the crowd. Grabbed a dirty
hot dog off the ground and crammed it into my
own mouth, and another kids was strangling me with my
bow tie. There's five kids like fucking just like attacking it.
(15:46):
And then and then the and then the crowd was like, oh,
I get it. And they started drawing and quartering my
nimbs in different directions. So I just started doing like
street karates, like every ass class bit of adrenalistic. Then
I got to the floor. This kid kept getting willie
and I went boom and I punched him in the
stuff and he loved it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He was like.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, and he just ran and I ran back to
the stage and I was like, I'll never crowd so
over again. It was.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
No, that was like eight years ago. Let's say Season
four tour. This's a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I'm let down. I thought someone got four fingers in
your asshole somehow.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
No, it was like through the pants I crammed in
between the crack of my hand. But it was it
was not pleasant, Yeah, definitely, it was not pleasant.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
With a recondre. With a recdre, I'll.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Go to my notes here. Okay, yeah, this is not
a show one, but this is a personal bomb yes,
do you remember this thing called those hocie mail what
this is? And it's kind of devalue now with the
chechie But there's a thing called who chi mail.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I hope it's still on my huccie mail.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
It would make you an erotic story and you'd give
it details, but it's AI. No, it's not, this is
pre AI. This is like I don't know, I don't
know twenty ten, twenty twelve, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Know who Gmail. But it was computer generated story.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
It was like I think they had like this mad
lib set up and they would plug your these details
in but it woud get really good. It would ask
all these personal details, so the person reading would be like,
oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So it was so funny to me.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So it was mad lib erotic fiction.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yeah, but it was really well done, like like who
email who Gmail? Like check it out. I hope it's
still up there. But it's it's like it was, you know,
super like storytelling and super erotic. So I put my
two buds in there and it put a story and
I put all these details out there about their life
and you know, their their their apartment and all the
shit that would really would really ring and I was
laughing so hard. I was like, oh my god. It
(17:44):
was really explicit, like comment on the face and it
was crazy. So then I so then I think I
posted I said it to him or something. I forget
where I put it. And the response I thought, they
think it was really funny, and it was just like
this like radio silence, and it was like a week
and like everyone was like my two buds.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
His friends.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
He's just friends.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, but like like co workers out of like.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Your circulated it. They were so okay. Basically what happened
is totally tanked. I thought the thing was funny. They
didn't talking for a week. They're so disturbed. They sent
it all these people like, hey, something wrong with John.
I think he's really fucked up. He like took the
time to write this incredibly detailed, erotic story about us.
It's really explicit and it's like ten pages long. And
then all every red and everyone was talking about it,
(18:23):
and then like people have like, hey, man, are you okay?
Are you okay? Something wrong?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
He's like, but you didn't set up that it was
hoocie mail you just like.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
My guys, I've been working on the story. Check it out.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But we coworkers. How did you know them? No, I
mean they're just riding my buds. Yeah, you were like
having a mental.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, I lost and I'm like spending my time like
late because it's really it's really well done and it's
it's very it's really erotic in the pool email. Yeah,
and it just keeps going and they bang like four times.
You should hoplish it, still mind, you should try with
your friends. That was you.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
You, but your friends all were like inspiring against you,
Like no, it's seriously concerned.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
It was like everyone was weird to me. I remember
going to party and everyone's really acting weird. I'm going on, Yeah,
I was like this is pretty prey those days. But yeah,
I was basically like socially canceled because every thought I
fucking lost my mind. And it was like spending like
like a year writing this fucking crazy novel about them
banging each other and and I know all these and
I know all these details, so it's like I like
include the tattoos, the guy, I'm like job, the car,
(19:29):
and so it's like it's it's really it's really amazing.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
But you did you know, We're like, hey, this is
ucci mao. You just are like, hey wrote it, wouldn't
you be impressed?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I totally get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
It didn't work out. Didn't work out, that's fun. I
was still online. I should try it.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I guess you got to.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I don't think chat will do as good as a job.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
As Maybe send it to us and then we'll have
like the serie voice read it read read excerpts.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
Brian moved his tongue slowly down the length of Remy's shaft,
from the dense hair at its base the slit in
the head of his penis. Remy's breathing began to quicken.
Oh God, but feels so good, he moaned, running his
strong hands through Brian's blonde hair. Brian loved the feeling
of his mouth on Remy's cock. It gave him an
(20:23):
incredible sense of power and control, but for the right reasons,
it connected him with Remy's manhood. Oh, Remy moaned, Oh yeah, God,
that feels good. Remy didn't disagree. It was an incredible
sensation feeling his cock go from the warmth of Remy's
ass when he was deep within him, to the cool
(20:46):
of the water lapping his balls when he pulled out
each stroke was better than the last.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Warm cool, Warm cool.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Brian knew he was getting close. Their breathing became ragged
and their moans loud. Come on, come with me, Remmy
urged him. Give it to me, deep in me, as
deep as you can. Brian's strokes got faster and more urgent.
He was practically lifting himself out of the water, now
pounding himself against Remy. He felt Remy grip his rigid
(21:18):
cock with his muscle ring and knew he couldn't hold
out any longer. Yes, Remy screamed as his second orgasm hit.
Then come spurted out onto his abs, and with a
loud groan, Brian exploded, shooting wave after wave of come
deep into Remmy. They grasped each other tightly, one in
the water, the other the pool's edge. As their orgasms subsided,
(21:43):
they smiled, hugged each other, and then slipped into the pool.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
With Ericdre with Adre.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
We opened for Dim Nails And that was basically like
a tour straight of bombing every night.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Oh you toured with them?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah, this is off the first album and in the
hockey arenas.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh fuck it, like that is stress and like we
never played arena before once.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
The first couple of shows don't go.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Well, You're like, uh oh dude, it's like that because
we knew like this isn't gonna go and made to
play the smell like this isn't gonna work in hockey arena,
like are we doing? And then and also you know
that the comedy you think it's an arena. It's like, oh,
it's so big. No, don't you can't hear someone.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Cool that they took you along on your first album?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Tight, It makes no sense looking back.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
No, that day, I mean has a good taste.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, it's just a wacky call. But yeah, I remember, like.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean, Prince opened up for the Rolling Stones and
he got bottles throwing.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
My girlfriend's dad saw that show way everyone's booing prins Yeah, yeah,
yeah good.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
And later it's like it was Prince. Yeah, people were
throwing glass bottles.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
They get back. I got hit with the bagel actually
that the Atlantic City stop. I got hit and I said,
what the fuck is that? I got hit again? I
was like yeah, and I'm like, what the fuck was
every there was like huge ass bagel and I'm like, oh,
there's a bagel stand right there?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Did they like, give you any like words of encouragement.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
No, no, I got to say the real stand up guys.
The second we got there, Trent was like, hey, guys,
really happened to have you here. If anyone is a
dick to you, I'll fire them. And then uh. And
then after like show two, he's like, I've noticed it's
not going so well. I'm gonna let you guys use
my huge video wall, which is like millions of dollars
video wall. And he's like, what if we put like
infrared cameras on you guys and we could show the
stuff of the wall and yeah, and once we did
(23:31):
something to see because.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
We were yeah, you know, so he was like supportive
and the sweet and yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
But you know you think in this huge arena you
can't hear someone how call you. You can hear it
and you can see. It'd be like if you got
blowed this pink motherfucker and you'd be like, oh, it's
that guy there in the NASCAR.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Had was like this, if you got this pink motherfucker
is crazy.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
He held the two birds up.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Okay, here is he train?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Fuck Rasnert we're in the Florida.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Yeah, the secondary market tour.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, yeah, fuck man, that's tough. How many shows were
that was that?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
It was like six or eight or something like that. Yeah,
but I guess the Atlantics anyone, which actually went the
best because it was a smaller one of the House
of Blues because they did a special venue show. But
that's why I got hit with the bagels, which is fine.
The bagels are just start kind of disorienting.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
That's tough. Did you remain friends with.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
We did a song with him twenty one.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Really nice.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
He's a nice guy, very nice guy. But that was hilarious.
We went from playing the smell and like a basements
and ship to like to opening like hot.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
That's pretty. That's pretty drastic.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
But we have the moment, you know, the second we
played the first song, like, ah, this is why you
don't write music like this. It's like David Byrne book,
you know, the one where I was like, the music
is written for where it's gonna be heard, you know,
like he's like, he's a foreigner, played arenas, so they
need mid tempo songs with clear vocals, and and he's
like punk bands played could play fast because they.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Were in the small you know, ball so interesting.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
You really saw like the arena, the the right, the
band that would right. You know, we killed it at
the smell, but we cannot right.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
When I first I did this movie, it was like
a hitting camera prank movie called Bad Trip.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
And it's narrative, right.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
So I'm trying to, like originally edit it as fast
as the Eric Andre Show, which is like the fastest
editing ever. And Jeff Tremaine, who was our like Papa
Bear producer on it, who co created Jackass, directed all
the Jacko's movies. He goes, I'm telling you, guys, to
meanky Tao. He goes, I'm telling you, you can't edit
(25:31):
this as fast as it can't be the same pace
as Eric Andriy.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
She couldn't take it for two hours or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well, he goes, Physically, the movie is on a big screen.
Your eye is taking in a bunch of information on
a big screen in a dark room. It's not watching
dumb little clips on your iPhone or TV at home.
He goes, your eye physically can't keep up with the
pace of your show, which is exceptionally fast. He goes,
(25:59):
I'm telling you, a movie has to be has to
move at a slower pace, and the audience has taken
narrative information just like foreigner lyrics, you know what I mean. Like,
and I was like, ah, man, fuck that, I'm punk rock.
Like I wasn't listening to He goes, I'm pump rock too.
I invented Jackass. I'm telling you. When we went from
Jackass the TV show to the Jackass movies, I had
(26:20):
to learn this lesson myself. I'm not trying to control you.
I'm telling you it's an actual fact. It's a medium
principle of you getting raped by a rilla.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah, So he was like but he was basically the
David Byrne of comedy. I didn't know you open up
for a nice stuff. So so he was cool and
he was supportive. That's great. I love hearing.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I can't say enough good things about the guy.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
I've only heard good things about the guys. I think
he's been through it all. And he went to Helen
back and yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
He's also you know, extremely as you expected, extremely professional focused,
you know, like yeah professional, also like you know, we
we played with them in Hell Fast, we got to
do the song we did together, and like he's going
So he's doing it, like performing at like a hundred
per hundred ten percent the whole set where we were
watching side tag like holy ship, Yeah, yeah, nothing anything.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
He's a star.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
He's pretty fucking Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
There's the reason he is.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
You know, he's a special guy. He's a he's a
fucking Oscar Award winning He's a genius. He's a fucking
musical genius.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
And to make.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Industrial music popular is like impossible. Like I used to
listen to like cam FDM, Like that's for nobody, Like nobody,
nobody listens to that ship, you know what I mean,
Like like I do, me and you do. But like
the fact that somebody unearthed all you know, remember a
Leah the R and B singer the late rmbs, she
(27:42):
loved uh nine in Nails and somebody somebody made a
super cut of her and interviews just being like, and
my favorite band of all time Nine inch Nails. Trent
Razner is a genius. Nine inch Nails. That's the best
band out right now. So like the fact that that
guy was able to make in dust st real music popular,
(28:03):
it's crazy speaks to his prowess songwriting, nineties a wild
time anything else what other bombs.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
All right, let me look up. I wrote down some
other bombs. You always bring up, Like I heard like
two seconds of two episodes. You're like, what's the most
wasted you want?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, what's the most wasted?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
You were on stage?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I am too responsible? I like, you know, because you're
wast You were wasted on my show? Yes, I was,
But but you guys gave you guys gave do that
on purpose. You give the like open bar on the backstage.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
It was like eight bombs, but we don't put a
gun in your head and say fit pol come on.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah right, that's like a fucking booby trap on purpose.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All I'm commenting on is the fact you're like, I'm professional,
I only have I wouldn't be. No, No, I don't.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I only I've been. However, like you alway talking about
like psychedelics, like I would love more than anything to
play a show on some screams or LSD have you. No,
I just had a recurtagey for the other guys because
they don' wouldn't understand they're not into that stuff. They'd
be really pissed at me.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
I don't think I would the most wastes that you've
been on stage.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I don't know, just a lot. Just he's drinking. It's
not that big a deal.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
I think, like a Primavera's like that's like the common
you know, like you're not so RUDSTI no.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Sometimes sober sometimes, but like it's not like a big deal.
But like uh but like Primavera, I did, like I
remember we were we were this uh the second premam Era.
It was a preview. It is like the most best vestals.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
The almost got to play it this year or something happened.
Oh yeah whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Well you know the Spanish like they wake up six pm,
they live at home till they're like thirty five. Yeah,
and they party all night.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
They got to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So it's just it's insane there. So like the vibe there.
Uh so like right before we went on that like
the guy comes by and he's got all the stuff.
So I did, like I did like fucking a gorilla finger,
like a fucking screamer, and then right went on and then.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I was like a gorilla fingers like well returns.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But like you know, it's like when you do like
a line of coke that's so big, a scream that's
a screamer, you know, you're like a you know, and
those you're like like but or they call or they
call it a gorilla. It looks like it looks like
a gorilla finger, you.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Know what I mean, Like it's so big, my god.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
So I did I did that and we went on.
It was like then we went on stage like three Am.
We got to close the stage, like that's the Primo song,
like the sot they give you if you're like, if
they really love you, you get to play three Am
on that stage, crazy and losing it and the first
song because all this ship sounds like fun. It was
like feeding back and Jake was fucking furious to kick
the ship over and I was like I'm gonna. I
(30:23):
was like yeah, and I was like going on later,
Jake was really pissing. He's like, you could have died
on stage, man. I'm like I would be yea, what.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Do you do too much coke? You just bear and
bear it down so you can.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Well, we're playing the show. Once I said you lock in,
You're in the show.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Locked in the show.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
It was a great show.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Show the show.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
The show is magical. It was like I was young
at the time. Now I was on love with my girlfriend.
Like the second we got off stage, I took all
the molly at once, and then I ran out.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
You're trying to get your heart to pup and then and.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Then I ran out, and then all the kids was
like five in the morning. They got around me. I
was my girlfriend and they started worshed.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
They all worked out, and I was like, oh, yeah,
you're like a golden guy. It was magical, like a
bomb that sounds like that.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
It was one of the best that yeah, and then
and then kept going and it was just me hearing
the sound man that it was like eighty am we're
rocking this. I'm like a war off. It's like, oh no, no,
oh god.
Speaker 6 (31:18):
You know.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
That was terrible at that point, but it was great.
It was worth it. It was great.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
When he did drugs, he doesn't yea, he had two
heart attacks when he's twenty nine years old. Sober ever since.
He's a chef, but I mean I.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Do I didn't follow his recipe on mine.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
He's a great She's an incredible chef. He's very talented man.
But I asked him what when he did drugs, what
was it like? He goes, I forget what he called
the gorilla finger reminded me of it. I think he
called it a.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Third rail, and I go, well, gatertail. It was a
gator taniel. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
When I think a third railer, he would do ketamine,
meth and coke all in one giant line at work
while he was cooking. What he said, he would drink
a big gulp of vodka and then do a thirdd rail.
What it's horrible.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
How did you eat food after that?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
He doesn't eat.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
He was like cooking and he was crazy. He did
sample them like you know, I don't know. He was
like a fucking wild maniac back in the day. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
He's third rail.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, he's like working at very stressful kitchens and working
like nineteen hour shifts.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
So he's just like, hey, every drug ever, no problem.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
That's a new one.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Third rail.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
What's a gatortail?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Gatortail? Same thing? A grailler fingers a really big line.
I think xanax mixed with coke is zombie dust.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Okay, I know, mushrooms and Molly's hippie flip yeap, then
candy flip yeah, drinking Robotestin's robot tripping.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, dude, you ever did you ever do that?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Shit?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
It as a kid, like Corseton, you eat the pills.
What's Corse, It's like it was easier way to row trips.
It's so hard to drink robotestin.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Oh yeah, no, I'm from Florida. The kids would chug
the robot So I never did it. I never did it.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Well, so corseedon you could take up. It's super easy.
You just eat like forty pills at once. Wrong, so crazy.
No I never did again, Like, no, that's scary. It
slows down time.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
So my friend did it and he goes. I felt
like my brain was boiling and I went to the
ninth Circle of Hell and there're like best friends that I.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Was just like, no thanks.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
We watched Sounds and Lambs and it felt like it
took like eight hours. And remember we put on a
song and I knew the song was four minutes. I
remember just looking at the clock.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
She's like, jeez, so.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Never get one time I ate weed with eight nugs.
I was like in tenth grade with peanut butter. I
just like scooped the nuts. And this is before weed's legal. Yea, yeah,
there's no dispensaries. There's no weed gummies. This is back
in the day. I'm talking. This is the nineties. I'm
like fifteen, and I had this cough left over from colds.
(33:47):
I was like, I want to get stoned, but I
don't want to smoke it. My friend's like, I think
you can eat it with peanut butter. So I ate
an entire It's probably the most high I've ever been.
You just eat a straight apparently, I think it a
cook it or something. No, he goes to my veran
goes the peanut butter extracts the THC in your stomach. Oh,
my friend who's like was sixteen and equally ding.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
We had the internet, though kids knew this shit it was.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It wasn't pre internet, but the Internet wasn't a part
of life yet. There was definitely no smartphones. I had
no cell phone at the time.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Way better.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
It was like I had a beeper and like the
only computer was in your mom's like room, you know
what I mean, Like and you had to kick your
mom off the phone to use the Yeah, So it
was like those days. So I scooped peanut butter on
a knife, on a butter knife and just packed nugs
of weed and like just ate like weed at like
(34:39):
peanut butter, like and an hour goes by and I
was like, man, that was a total failed didn't work.
And I started playing bass in my friends fucking crazy
house and then like I was tripping balls. I was
like the most high and fucked up I've ever been
in my entire life. I don't know what that's called,
but I've smoked uh cloud nine, like we dipped in
(35:02):
bombing fluid and PCP and I was less high then
than when I just hate by itself?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
What is the what is the PCP high?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I was just it's kissing. It's kind of me.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Oh really, well, hey I'm learning.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Man.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
You had a the fucking Flat Earth book in your
waiting room.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Oh really yeah, I don't know what's out there.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, it was whacky. I went to I went to
the fucking Index of Bibliography. It was all YouTube links.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's like it's like a North Korean prison out there.
I don't know what's going on there.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Oh I found out I'm North Korean actually recently.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Oh yeah, well there it was one country.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Yeah yeah, you know, but it's my whole life, my mom.
I even asked him I'm like, well, I'm not, We're
like South Korea.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
It's the guy.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
We're good And then uh, they came out later if
my mom just never told me.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I went to the DMZ. Wait really, I went to
the DMZ and looked at North Korea through binoculars. And
that's as close as what is it like when I
won't go I won't do you? They have they have
a fake city that's like a facade because they noticed
that people were watching, tours were watching, so they built
this like really makes sure like.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Village or whatever.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Yeah, and it's like totally like two D city and
the rest of it looks like pure misery, pure pure
fucking hell. But there is North Korean cuisine that I
tried to get. There's like one isn't that much different,
But there's this one stew that this woman in South
Korea told me to get and I failed it.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Wait Dan Sung saw in La. That's North Korean?
Speaker 6 (36:26):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Yeah, well it's supposed to be. It's like a Korean's
a bunker theme restaurant, and I mean, it's the same
fucking food. But oh uh huh, yeah, that's why they
all Wait camera, there's a big picture of Kim Jung
ill in there really, Yeah, it's on the wall.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's pretty controversial, is it in Korea town?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay, well that's that's like having a Fidel Castro picture
at a Cuban restaurant.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Yeah, it's actually funny. It's like when you go to
a Russia It's like they have guys dressed up as
like uh solid and putin like you can't do that
in Germany. There's not like take a photo Hitler. You know,
it's like fucking funny. So I don't know who else
who doesn't they do it?
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I mean George watching It own more slaves than anybody.
He was the richest man in America at the time.
He owned more slaves. His teeth were slave teeth. I
did find that recently with lead in them. So he
was like he was and apparently it's a ginger. Oh really,
and he's like as tall as me. That's the least
important fact everything. I just I just and redhead, what
(37:31):
hold it right there?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
I have a story about asking death Gripts for a
beer and then I crank about I'll eat okay, okay,
how are you to start eating?
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Easy? I got other bombings, but they're so normal like them, Yeah,
the want to I guess everyone, well, you know, okay,
this is actually anyone in a band. I will understand that.
If you played Germany, they have a bad show, like
barely everyone comes. All this staff comes up to you
and they be like, wow, it must feel so terrible
to all the way here and have Nolan comes to
(37:59):
you a show. I'll just be like, you are so bad.
You must feel awful when.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
You go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I just went to Taiwan and like Taiwanese girls, they
have no filter, so it's like the food is really bad.
They'll just go to the waiter like, hey, this food
is terrible. It tastes like dog food.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Isn't anyway, they gotta got you gotta have a Taiwanese accent.
Come on, let's come on here, come many With that,
I can't I can't get into the story. I'm not
being able to notice myself. I can't imagine. It's not
not marking.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
If you do a black Son, I will do a Taiwanese.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I feel like I'm doing a black set. Hey percent
in my life, I grew up a Comedy Central and like,
you know, that's like getting regular doing the right.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Impression of an old, dirty past. Okay, so death grips beer.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Story, Okay, it's ad f y F. This is I
don't know why the story is so funny. People find
it very funny, so I tell it all the time.
Were we played right before them, and their trailer is
right next to stage, our trailers in the artist zone.
So I just really wanted to beer. So I went
and I knocked the door and I was like, hey man,
we're the band right before you. You know, my trailers
really far away. Can I just have one of your beers?
(39:06):
And it was the keyboard guy and.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
He was just like uh.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Uh no when he showed the door, Oh no, oh,
this isn't really a bombing. But one of the last
nine Shale shows we played this is separately after that tour.
It was in their farewell shows in La and we
were on stage and like halfway to the set and
like it was just like it was like the it
was like an outhouse, but like like the back of
the Chinese restaurant, like put together. It was like so bad.
And I was like, dude, at first, it's like someone farting.
I'm like, no, I can't where it was at the Fonda.
(39:35):
We're like two songs in and I'm just like, I'm
just staring at the guys and man like something shit
their fucking pants, Like only a live shit could be
this live. It was actually crazier, like how could a
shit be this crazy? And I'm just looking I'm like
sclaring at everyone like who the fuck shit their pants?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Man?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And they were playing this thing and then suddenly I
hear was the screaming for the audience and screaming and
screamings building, and I looked out and this girl in
Daisy Dudes, Red Daisy Dupes is being crowdsurfed, and I
fucking like the fire hose like of of of just
of just you know, of whatever. Yeager ship is straying
full blastes were like and she got fucking thrown over
(40:10):
the barricade, just spraying and spraying and spray. Why and
then are you?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
And I was like crowdserving why?
Speaker 3 (40:15):
You know, I think they're trying to get rid of her.
She was spraying so bad. They're like get out of here,
you know, and you know, and you know, then I'm
sure she's waiting there since like eight in the morning,
drinking Yeager so so so they spray over her. Yeah,
everyone's everyone's just screaming and screaming, and there's just you know,
liquid ship and everyone. Oh yeah, oh yeah, imagine underneath everyone.
(40:38):
It was like it was like blade, you know, like
everyone's gonna last my job. So then I had this
moment I'm like, dude, we hit the brown note.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
But no.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Then I cut up.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
You're like, well halfway through, I'm like, dude, we're fucking
whoa pants man? And then and then I was like,
oh wait, that doesn't make any sense. There's no fucking way,
you know, Like I don't know. I was like, is
it the moment. It's like, in a few seconds, yea. Anyway,
you start thinking, logically, they're waiting all day in the sun,
drinking Yeager. I'm assuming Yeger.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Why why?
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Why? Why the consistency?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
You know, like you know, you can tell what kind
how it is if anyone would go, it would.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Be you.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Something Yager equivalent to get that consistency.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
It was like that ship.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It was like a not a smoothie, but a milkshake,
you know what I'm saying, Like empty stomach.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Could you imagine that that story haunts her whole life?
And then she comes across this podcast episode is like
she can't shake it. I don't care. I hope she
does hear this podcast.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
I was like, these guys are really you got to
get to go to the hospital. She's like, she's touch
nails man. She will waiting all day, you know. Rare,
Just get those tickets. I'm just really shocked. The letter
back in. I feel like if I was sprained diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
I'm going home, I'm washing up, and I'm like I'm quarantining.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
It was so rare though. She's wearing Daisy Dukes though,
because I think because the time, what city is La
the fund so the tightness of the pants, I think
I created that that that hose affected me. You squeeze
the hose and it was coming out like one of those.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
The god you know, I was saying, Yeah, and you
have like a chicken pog in your dick. No you
wing your peace blits in half in the morning sometimes yeah,
not fully like.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yeah yeah yeah, not kind of like it peak with boner,
peaking with a boner. Your piece pits in half.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah. When I had Chicken Box, I had a chickenpog
in my dick hole and oh to your.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Kid, all right, see by, all right, cool.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
With every condre all right, listen up, we got something
special for you. Got a burning story that you're itching
to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed in life.
Now's your chance to tell me all about it. Maybe
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 5 (42:54):
What just happened moment? So pick up your phone and
dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven one six two
six six twenty four sixty four and leave me a
voice bail and.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
We might just play it on a future episode. Bombing
with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our producer is
Bei Wang, our research assistant is David Carliner, our editor
in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is by
Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and drop a
review on your podcast app a choice
What's up.
Speaker 2 (00:00):
It's Eric Andre and this is Bombing, the podcast where
I talked to comedians, artists, and other interesting people about
the worst bombs of their careers. On today's episode, we
have John Famileetti from the band hell Jan and I
talk about ass wiping, drugs, the time he came on
the Eric Andre Show, more drugs, and a girl shooting
her pants. Who's gonna love? Listen to this podcast enjoy.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Bombing, Balming with Eric Anddre.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm here with John Health from Health and I've known
you for baby. I'm just say fifteen years, yeah, something
like that. You do the Eric Andre Show I watched.
Speaker 3 (00:40):
I remember my friends are like, dude, you got this guy?
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Or Condre.
Speaker 3 (00:42):
They showed me like this, like I hate from a
comedy club, like very very.
Speaker 2 (00:45):
Oh really whoa.
Speaker 3 (00:46):
That was when Andrew and Kitao, like right before the
start working with.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
You, Yeah, Duke and all those guys say yeah, yeah,
jen One.
Speaker 3 (00:53):
It's all fun. We were on the first the pilot
episode of Eric Andre. It was never aired, but we
were on it.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Oh yeah, I'm almost none of that aired, and all
my friends that were on it were mad at me.
Speaker 3 (01:02):
They caught up that little pieces for that one super
super crazy episode you guys did with like a million clips.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
A little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a tale
about you that is fucking hilarious Okay, and it's not bombing.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
It is outrageous.
Speaker 3 (01:16):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (01:16):
Can I kick off with it? Your bombing sory?
Speaker 3 (01:19):
No hit it, no hit it, hit it.
Speaker 4 (01:20):
It's fucking crazy, man. It's what I associate you with
the most.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
Okay, do you want it?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:28):
I want it?
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Can you handle it?
Speaker 3 (01:29):
I can handle it?
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Okay. You were living with somebody else in the band
at this time? Were you living with another band?
Speaker 3 (01:36):
I've lived with both of the band members at different times.
Who I love with Jake and I also love a
beach separately.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
I think it was I think he was living with Jake.
So you live with Jake and you ran out of
you guys, you ran out of toilet paper. You know
the story. He ran out of toilet paper, and Jake's like, no,
I bought toilet paper last twenty times. I'm not buying
it again. I'm not buying it. It's John's turned Toliver
and then he like was sneaking toilet paper in because
(02:03):
he was indignant that you had to chip into the
toilet paper, you know, like total roommate ship. Yeah, and
he was sneaking in a roll timom and you go, ah, ship,
and you were cooking. You're in the kitchen cooking food
and you're, oh, dude, toilet paper nice, they needed that,
and you grabbed it and you wiped your ass and
you wiped like.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Four weeks of ship out of your ass.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
You were like, thangs, dude, I needed and then like
god knows what you did with it, like chucked it
into the garbage get or something like that. I'm like,
what in the fucking guantanamobey is that?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Yeah, so let's.
Speaker 4 (02:39):
Let's let's hear your side of the story.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Said that is true. I don't I would say four weeks,
but that is true. That's a true story.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You want your ass in the kitchen?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
I did.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I did well? I really, I mean it was on
you know, it's like to unwipe your do have an
a wipe ass? You know double white? Do you just
buy toilet paper and wipe your ass at the back
That time was the lean times. Then you know, can't
be that lead, Get be that lead.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
That's like that's like third world, like pop a New
Guinea like lead and that's like like.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Our third roommate. He was like you, Johnny know quietly,
you're the most discussing person I've ever met.
Speaker 4 (03:14):
So you were like a fill said that.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
No, I'm not a dirty person.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
No, he said, no, wipe not wiping your ass for
weeks and then only wiping your ass because you know, somebody.
Speaker 3 (03:23):
I don't think it was weeks, satur days, let's days,
maybe a day.
Speaker 4 (03:30):
But also, how are you wiping your ass without toilet paper?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
How are you wiping your ass?
Speaker 3 (03:36):
You know, it's a long time ago. We have all
the evidence, you know, Like, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
This.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
I wasn't I guess I just wasn't wiping. You know, man,
my apartment just.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
Not wipe and you were just walking around town.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Maybe it's like you know, you likes you started like
clean completion. No, it's a perfect ship.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
I guarantee you.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
But it exists as a concept, but.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
You were not you were not exercising the concept.
Speaker 3 (04:02):
No, No, hey, you know it was a long time ago.
It times different. I mean my ass is wipe right now,
by the.
Speaker 4 (04:07):
Way, I don't even know if that's true.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Yeah, do you buy toilet paper now?
Speaker 3 (04:13):
Costco by the bulk. I never run out, Oh no,
now you're wiping. I've all, yeah, I'm a wiper. You know,
it's actually funny. I didn't.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
This is I never looked at you the same again
after I heard that's okay here, and I kept it inside.
I didn't even tell you.
Speaker 3 (04:25):
Another weird wrinkle, like like I never wiped my ass
sitting down until I was like twenty two or something.
What did you You stood up and wiped it so
much better if you're sitting down?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Why?
Speaker 4 (04:33):
I never curd to me, why did you stand up?
Speaker 3 (04:36):
I just thought that's what you did.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
You would ship then stand ass and then drop it
in the toilet. Yeah, why naturally?
Speaker 3 (04:45):
Naturally that's how I developed it.
Speaker 1 (04:47):
I didn't.
Speaker 3 (04:47):
I didn't realize it was actually guys in the band
they're like, you wipe yours like you know, it's much
better if you sit down, And I was like really,
you know, I'm like, whoa, this is way better, so
much cleaner. So I think at that time I was
only a stand up wiper.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
Did your parents potty train you to stand and wipe?
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well? You know, where did it come from? You know?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
I don't know because I remember being a kid. You
know your your parents will literally wipe your ass, you
know your yeah, yeah, your kid. But you yelled here
you dinner, You yell like I need something to come
and wipe your ass.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And then you're like sixteen, no, no on.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
Is sorry, but you start doing yourself. And he was
just I always stood up? Whe did you always wipe
sitting down? Yes, okay, that's good. It's good for you obviously,
and you went this is another question. We found this
out to see back then we found a half half
the band wiped back to front, back to the front.
We discussed, I know, but they did it. We didn't
believe them. They will do they do.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
But why the ball?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
That's also yes, I know, but they said, hey, it
doesn't matter if you have a pussy. But still it's
still towards your ball. It's still less proper.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
It might be less of a risk than of but
like you're you're bringing ship towards the back of your ball.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
I just wiped standing up because that's how I thought
you did it, you know, but anyway, I don't.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
Well you barely. You didn't wipe for weeks.
Speaker 4 (06:00):
That's animals like a very limited time.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
It was a whild that was the two thousands. Different time.
You know, we don't know what we didn't know really
different time. You know, I'm not I always just walking
around a nasty ass.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
I thought like for years you were walking that was
just that was a ship.
Speaker 3 (06:13):
That was just like one off, one isolated incident of
a nasty It's.
Speaker 2 (06:17):
Yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
Come on, I got more sense. We all want to
be itchy all the time.
Speaker 5 (06:22):
It.
Speaker 3 (06:22):
Yeah, if you had ship on your asses.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I thought you had.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
I thought you were like a ship ass kind of guy,
Like you had tons of ship in your ass for life.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
That'd be so noticeable. Dude, you just never wiped your ass.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
It would smell. Yeah, it'd be odorous.
Speaker 3 (06:38):
You don't smell great.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
No, I mean I'm not. I don't want my nose
in your pants. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
Fact, if if we were a doggy style or something,
yeah doggies. Yeah, yeah, that's real though. It actually back
in clean completion. I know a friend, so he did
this vegan girl and she's like, she's like, she's like,
I don't want my ass. I do clean completion. And
he's like, what's that. She's like, well, she's like, if
you have a proper diet. You have a perfect shit
clean completion, which I've had before.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
You drive vegan is a proper diet, and I don't
think that. I don't think that's true.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Well, you get sick and I have diarrhect But let's
say you have a perfect ship because it's happened, you know,
you fly it and there's literally nothing there once in
a blue moon, you know, So she did.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
That wipe every time. I wouldn't even know.
Speaker 3 (07:14):
You wouldn't even Well, don't you look at it? What
if you don't, there's just no look what do you
want to stop?
Speaker 2 (07:18):
When I was a little kid, maybe maybe.
Speaker 3 (07:21):
Okay, you don't look at it when you wow? Never
do you just trust yourself? Like three you.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Might Well, I have a total toilet.
Speaker 3 (07:28):
Oh yes, I like those are wonderful.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
I got the whole thing.
Speaker 4 (07:32):
I got the fucking the Japanese squirter.
Speaker 3 (07:35):
It was amazing.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Then I do a wet wipe. Then I do a wipe.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
It is ridiculous.
Speaker 4 (07:41):
And in the shower, I have the hand shower and
shower the assle.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
I have one of the cleanest assholes in show business.
Speaker 3 (07:46):
It's absurd.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
It's like me and you on the assholes red room.
On the hygiene, I have a dat but whole hygiene,
but I.
Speaker 3 (07:55):
Don't use it though. I prefer to go dry.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Why.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (07:57):
It's mortal, earthy. It's just like I don't know, like
it's just it's barns were there, Like, yes, I don't
have this pomp and circumstance. I got to wash my
hands now.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
So you don't wash your hands out, saying I shook
your hand on the way.
Speaker 3 (08:08):
Yeah, I wash my hands. I'm a normal person, but
just like you know, I.
Speaker 4 (08:10):
Don't think you are. I don't have a fun far
from normal.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
I got the laptop here, You're like, wipe my hand?
Speaker 2 (08:15):
Come on, will you wipe your hands on?
Speaker 1 (08:16):
What?
Speaker 2 (08:17):
Tell? But no, you're very You're not cleanly.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I'm not no, no, no, I'm clean a lot.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Do you wash your hands out? Do you take a poop? Poop? Yes,
a peep?
Speaker 3 (08:26):
Not really?
Speaker 2 (08:27):
Do you wash your hands before you eat?
Speaker 3 (08:28):
Sometimes?
Speaker 2 (08:29):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (08:29):
Sometimes you know what you're.
Speaker 2 (08:30):
You probably never get sick constantly. I have a hand
sanitizer on me. I would think you're gonna use it
right now. I'm thinking about it.
Speaker 3 (08:36):
It's ridiculous, that's bad. That's a bad way to live.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
No, you know what.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
Here's the thing, though, I'll do this.
Speaker 2 (08:41):
I started doing this all the time. I stopped getting
sick all the time.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
Oh okay, well I don't get sick.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Yeah, because you have so many germs in you, you're
like a fortress. Okay, tell me some bombing stories.
Speaker 3 (08:55):
Oh man, So okay we did this is just and
I'm sure you've done. Do you ever do something you
get hard for these corporate gigs?
Speaker 1 (09:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Yeah, I've definitely done gigs where I'm like, I'm not
supposed to be here.
Speaker 3 (09:04):
Yeah, we did. It was for Spotify Germany. It's probably Spotify.
No its boat. It was a boat, no bows and
Spotify private party, right, And they weren't allowed to be
in there, so they kept us in this.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Like shed who wasn't allowed to be in there?
Speaker 3 (09:14):
We they didn't want us in the party except for
the performance, so.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
They just so we like, yeah, we didn't couch.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Well, they had to set up our gear and like
rush us out, like got four guests.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
She was like come on, I get over here, good fear.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
And then they had to sit back and we sat
there for like three hours in this tiny room They're
like okay, go go gole. So they get there and
we go and like the room was so tiny. It
was like this and it's like low ceilings and it
was like all white people like in suits and they
were like forty feet from the stage in this room
just all open and it was so crowded. We like
I played in behind a pillar and we just played
the set of like you know sound at the time.
(09:45):
It was just all this noise and like trying our
best to it is just horrified and I'm like, I'm like,
what asshole looked us?
Speaker 2 (09:53):
Yeah? Why did you have us?
Speaker 3 (09:54):
And the second were done, they just rushed us out
and it was bizarre and they immediately put us on
a bus and got us off off the promises. Yeah,
this weird, like mansion all the ship like that, And
I'm like, like what intern got fired for that? Yeah,
there's nothing that deep about the story.
Speaker 2 (10:07):
It's just it's weird.
Speaker 1 (10:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Yeah, well get the page. I can get the funk
out of there.
Speaker 3 (10:11):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (10:11):
It was a band split payment four ways. I never
understand how it bendes.
Speaker 3 (10:15):
Was only three guys now, but yeah three do.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
You split it evenly?
Speaker 1 (10:18):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (10:18):
Tour does it have to be like that or a
the beam fights.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, I doesn't have to. We just didn't ever work
it from the beginning. We didn't plan on doing it,
so we didn't like work out. But it's not on tour,
it's like all this it's the same work for everyone.
We played Lallapalooza in the rain and uh and this
is this is what was numberable because it was it
was it was we had to open the day with
the first bend of the day and it was raining, so
there was like hardly anyone there and we were trying
our best to go and and what happened was it
(10:42):
was so wet. I was trying to rock out. My
right foot hit this like puddle water and then I
just slid going. I kept going. I couldn't stop. I
couldn't stop, and Jake was singing and he turned to
me and out of nowhere, I was doing the splits
like screaming, and he thought his head that I was
just like possessed by the moment though I was like,
you were like rocking like fucking James Brown or something like.
(11:03):
He said, laughings are hard. He couldn't sick. I like
tore my girls.
Speaker 4 (11:08):
It's terrible but you thought you were like over and
you were like an.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Aggay, Yeah, it's funny. Bomb Bomby stories aren't that long?
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Gotta be lock whatever, that's funny.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Uh oh actually.
Speaker 2 (11:25):
I thought you got like electrocuted on stage or something. No,
is that the worst injury you've had on stage? How
did you play the rest of the show? Oh? I
just I was just like, you know, yeah, yeah, adrenalin.
Speaker 3 (11:37):
Yeah, you're because you're in show mode, like you know,
like everyone's like, oh, would you shoot your pants a stage?
Like no, like you immediately lock in like it.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:42):
The adrenaline, the show mode.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Adrenaline protects you from the pain that you're gonna This
isn't really afterwards you feel pain. Oh, totally, you feel pain.
I had a fucking I just played Alaska.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
I don't want to in the winter.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:56):
I played in like June or July, and like what
was it ampler like a sp Like I jumped onto
my desk, it broke in half and the sampler went
because in the first ten seconds of the show, like
the very first thing I did, and.
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Like is that on video?
Speaker 2 (12:17):
Probably? Yeah, And it just like the whole thing clocked
me in the temple and it was so painful, and
it was like the very first five seconds of the show,
so the whole show I had like a Fred Flintstone
lump and a massive headache. But it wasn't that bad.
I knew it was gonna hurt way worse, like an
hour after the show when the adrenaline wears off. But
(12:39):
even with the adrenaline, it was. It was fucking agony.
And I'm so mad at my tour manager because I
was like, we just needed it for sound check, and
I was like, please don't forget to take that sampler
off the fucking I know it's gonna catapult, and.
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh you're the table was supposed to break.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
The table was supposed to break. Gig table. Yeah, the
table was supposed to be the death, just supposed to break,
but the sampler was supposed to not be there. At
that time. I was just doing like a tech check sout,
yeah yeah, and uh uh fuck man, it was so pain.
Speaker 3 (13:11):
I'm sure you already probably didn't oother podcast because you
do all the crowd ship we're running around, so I
never just fucking just go terribly. This doesn't work all
the time.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
One time I jumped off stage and this kid went no,
and like his finger fully went into my eyeball like
in like yeah, like my eyeball squished back into my
brain because his finger like broke my fall. Oh it
was rough.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
That was rough.
Speaker 2 (13:40):
That was That was another like very beginning of this day.
It was like like back in the blades, but it's
so painful.
Speaker 3 (13:47):
Well, that was at FYF. I remember it was Tim
and Eric and uh where him went over the thing
the barrier to like CrowdSurf and he just took out
this girl.
Speaker 2 (13:55):
Oh no, oh no, yeah, he's a big Yeah. I
was like I started the last tour I did last year.
I was like, I'm forty, I can steal CrowdSurf. We
were playing at the Lodge Room. Yeah, and I jumped
off stage and the crowd just went and boom, and
I just like I thought I broke a rib the
(14:16):
whole year now, I like landed on my shoulder, my
side and like right on that like concrete floor, and
I was like, like it hurt to breathe. I was like,
fuck if I broke and we just it wasn't even
the beginning of tour. It was like these two little
guinea pig shows like experiment like test dry runs basically
like dress rehearsals. And I was like, if I broke
(14:37):
my rib before we even start and we're already selling.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Tickets, could you do the tour the broken rabber?
Speaker 2 (14:43):
Now? Not? Well, not really because because there's so much
physical stuff. And then uh, I had a Vancouver show
where I crowdsurfed and this kid underneath me put all
four fingers at my ass.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Another kid, wait, wait, wait, okay, logistical issue, how did
he get there?
Speaker 1 (15:00):
Well?
Speaker 2 (15:01):
Through my pants?
Speaker 3 (15:02):
Like what you were like, what kind of pants are wearing?
Speaker 2 (15:04):
I'm wearing a tuxedo, So how did he gets past that? No,
he wasn't like, it wasn't like actually in my ass.
It was like through the pants, like if you just
went like this to me right now. So it was
like four look, but he was cramming them to like
he was touching my ass off.
Speaker 3 (15:20):
That's like a super condom one.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Then another kid, a middlesecond latter, grabbed my dicken balls
as hard as he could. Then another kid gave me
a wet willie. This is all within ten seconds. Another
kid give me what willie? Another kid grabbed I was
throwing hot dogs out in the crowd. Grabbed a dirty
hot dog off the ground and crammed it into my
own mouth, and another kids was strangling me with my
bow tie. There's five kids like fucking just like attacking it.
(15:46):
And then and then the and then the crowd was like, oh,
I get it. And they started drawing and quartering my
nimbs in different directions. So I just started doing like
street karates, like every ass class bit of adrenalistic. Then
I got to the floor. This kid kept getting willie
and I went boom and I punched him in the
stuff and he loved it.
Speaker 1 (16:07):
He was like.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
Yeah, and he just ran and I ran back to
the stage and I was like, I'll never crowd so
over again. It was.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
That.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
No, that was like eight years ago. Let's say Season
four tour. This's a long time ago.
Speaker 3 (16:20):
I'm let down. I thought someone got four fingers in
your asshole somehow.
Speaker 2 (16:23):
No, it was like through the pants I crammed in
between the crack of my hand. But it was it
was not pleasant, Yeah, definitely, it was not pleasant.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
With a recondre. With a recdre, I'll.
Speaker 3 (16:46):
Go to my notes here. Okay, yeah, this is not
a show one, but this is a personal bomb yes,
do you remember this thing called those hocie mail what
this is? And it's kind of devalue now with the
chechie But there's a thing called who chi mail.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
I hope it's still on my huccie mail.
Speaker 3 (16:59):
It would make you an erotic story and you'd give
it details, but it's AI. No, it's not, this is
pre AI. This is like I don't know, I don't
know twenty ten, twenty twelve, I don't.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Know who Gmail. But it was computer generated story.
Speaker 3 (17:11):
It was like I think they had like this mad
lib set up and they would plug your these details
in but it woud get really good. It would ask
all these personal details, so the person reading would be like,
oh my god.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Wow.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
So it was so funny to me.
Speaker 2 (17:22):
So it was mad lib erotic fiction.
Speaker 3 (17:24):
Yeah, but it was really well done, like like who
email who Gmail? Like check it out. I hope it's
still up there. But it's it's like it was, you know,
super like storytelling and super erotic. So I put my
two buds in there and it put a story and
I put all these details out there about their life
and you know, their their their apartment and all the
shit that would really would really ring and I was
laughing so hard. I was like, oh my god. It
(17:44):
was really explicit, like comment on the face and it
was crazy. So then I so then I think I
posted I said it to him or something. I forget
where I put it. And the response I thought, they
think it was really funny, and it was just like
this like radio silence, and it was like a week
and like everyone was like my two buds.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
His friends.
Speaker 3 (18:00):
He's just friends.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Yeah, but like like co workers out of like.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Your circulated it. They were so okay. Basically what happened
is totally tanked. I thought the thing was funny. They
didn't talking for a week. They're so disturbed. They sent
it all these people like, hey, something wrong with John.
I think he's really fucked up. He like took the
time to write this incredibly detailed, erotic story about us.
It's really explicit and it's like ten pages long. And
then all every red and everyone was talking about it,
(18:23):
and then like people have like, hey, man, are you okay?
Are you okay? Something wrong?
Speaker 4 (18:29):
He's like, but you didn't set up that it was
hoocie mail you just like.
Speaker 3 (18:33):
My guys, I've been working on the story. Check it out.
Speaker 2 (18:37):
But we coworkers. How did you know them? No, I
mean they're just riding my buds. Yeah, you were like
having a mental.
Speaker 3 (18:44):
Yeah, I lost and I'm like spending my time like
late because it's really it's really well done and it's
it's very it's really erotic in the pool email. Yeah,
and it just keeps going and they bang like four times.
You should hoplish it, still mind, you should try with
your friends. That was you.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
You, but your friends all were like inspiring against you,
Like no, it's seriously concerned.
Speaker 3 (19:06):
It was like everyone was weird to me. I remember
going to party and everyone's really acting weird. I'm going on, Yeah,
I was like this is pretty prey those days. But yeah,
I was basically like socially canceled because every thought I
fucking lost my mind. And it was like spending like
like a year writing this fucking crazy novel about them
banging each other and and I know all these and
I know all these details, so it's like I like
include the tattoos, the guy, I'm like job, the car,
(19:29):
and so it's like it's it's really it's really amazing.
Speaker 4 (19:33):
But you did you know, We're like, hey, this is
ucci mao. You just are like, hey wrote it, wouldn't
you be impressed?
Speaker 2 (19:42):
I totally get it. I totally get it.
Speaker 3 (19:45):
It didn't work out. Didn't work out, that's fun. I
was still online. I should try it.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
I guess you got to.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
I don't think chat will do as good as a job.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
As Maybe send it to us and then we'll have
like the serie voice read it read read excerpts.
Speaker 6 (20:01):
Brian moved his tongue slowly down the length of Remy's shaft,
from the dense hair at its base the slit in
the head of his penis. Remy's breathing began to quicken.
Oh God, but feels so good, he moaned, running his
strong hands through Brian's blonde hair. Brian loved the feeling
of his mouth on Remy's cock. It gave him an
(20:23):
incredible sense of power and control, but for the right reasons,
it connected him with Remy's manhood. Oh, Remy moaned, Oh yeah, God,
that feels good. Remy didn't disagree. It was an incredible
sensation feeling his cock go from the warmth of Remy's
ass when he was deep within him, to the cool
(20:46):
of the water lapping his balls when he pulled out
each stroke was better than the last.
Speaker 2 (20:51):
Warm cool, Warm cool.
Speaker 6 (20:55):
Brian knew he was getting close. Their breathing became ragged
and their moans loud. Come on, come with me, Remmy
urged him. Give it to me, deep in me, as
deep as you can. Brian's strokes got faster and more urgent.
He was practically lifting himself out of the water, now
pounding himself against Remy. He felt Remy grip his rigid
(21:18):
cock with his muscle ring and knew he couldn't hold
out any longer. Yes, Remy screamed as his second orgasm hit.
Then come spurted out onto his abs, and with a
loud groan, Brian exploded, shooting wave after wave of come
deep into Remmy. They grasped each other tightly, one in
the water, the other the pool's edge. As their orgasms subsided,
(21:43):
they smiled, hugged each other, and then slipped into the pool.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
With Ericdre with Adre.
Speaker 3 (22:02):
We opened for Dim Nails And that was basically like
a tour straight of bombing every night.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
Oh you toured with them?
Speaker 3 (22:08):
Yeah, this is off the first album and in the
hockey arenas.
Speaker 4 (22:12):
Oh fuck it, like that is stress and like we
never played arena before once.
Speaker 2 (22:17):
The first couple of shows don't go.
Speaker 3 (22:18):
Well, You're like, uh oh dude, it's like that because
we knew like this isn't gonna go and made to
play the smell like this isn't gonna work in hockey arena,
like are we doing? And then and also you know
that the comedy you think it's an arena. It's like, oh,
it's so big. No, don't you can't hear someone.
Speaker 2 (22:32):
Cool that they took you along on your first album?
Speaker 3 (22:34):
Tight, It makes no sense looking back.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
No, that day, I mean has a good taste.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah, it's just a wacky call. But yeah, I remember, like.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
I mean, Prince opened up for the Rolling Stones and
he got bottles throwing.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
My girlfriend's dad saw that show way everyone's booing prins Yeah, yeah,
yeah good.
Speaker 4 (22:49):
And later it's like it was Prince. Yeah, people were
throwing glass bottles.
Speaker 3 (22:55):
They get back. I got hit with the bagel actually
that the Atlantic City stop. I got hit and I said,
what the fuck is that? I got hit again? I
was like yeah, and I'm like, what the fuck was
every there was like huge ass bagel and I'm like, oh,
there's a bagel stand right there?
Speaker 4 (23:06):
Did they like, give you any like words of encouragement.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
No, no, I got to say the real stand up guys.
The second we got there, Trent was like, hey, guys,
really happened to have you here. If anyone is a
dick to you, I'll fire them. And then uh. And
then after like show two, he's like, I've noticed it's
not going so well. I'm gonna let you guys use
my huge video wall, which is like millions of dollars
video wall. And he's like, what if we put like
infrared cameras on you guys and we could show the
stuff of the wall and yeah, and once we did
(23:31):
something to see because.
Speaker 2 (23:32):
We were yeah, you know, so he was like supportive
and the sweet and yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
But you know you think in this huge arena you
can't hear someone how call you. You can hear it
and you can see. It'd be like if you got
blowed this pink motherfucker and you'd be like, oh, it's
that guy there in the NASCAR.
Speaker 4 (23:47):
Had was like this, if you got this pink motherfucker
is crazy.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
He held the two birds up.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Okay, here is he train?
Speaker 3 (24:00):
Fuck Rasnert we're in the Florida.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:03):
Yeah, the secondary market tour.
Speaker 2 (24:06):
Yeah, yeah, fuck man, that's tough. How many shows were
that was that?
Speaker 3 (24:10):
It was like six or eight or something like that. Yeah,
but I guess the Atlantics anyone, which actually went the
best because it was a smaller one of the House
of Blues because they did a special venue show. But
that's why I got hit with the bagels, which is fine.
The bagels are just start kind of disorienting.
Speaker 2 (24:23):
That's tough. Did you remain friends with.
Speaker 3 (24:26):
We did a song with him twenty one.
Speaker 2 (24:27):
Really nice.
Speaker 3 (24:28):
He's a nice guy, very nice guy. But that was hilarious.
We went from playing the smell and like a basements
and ship to like to opening like hot.
Speaker 2 (24:34):
That's pretty. That's pretty drastic.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
But we have the moment, you know, the second we
played the first song, like, ah, this is why you
don't write music like this. It's like David Byrne book,
you know, the one where I was like, the music
is written for where it's gonna be heard, you know,
like he's like, he's a foreigner, played arenas, so they
need mid tempo songs with clear vocals, and and he's
like punk bands played could play fast because they.
Speaker 2 (24:54):
Were in the small you know, ball so interesting.
Speaker 3 (24:56):
You really saw like the arena, the the right, the
band that would right. You know, we killed it at
the smell, but we cannot right.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
You know.
Speaker 2 (25:03):
When I first I did this movie, it was like
a hitting camera prank movie called Bad Trip.
Speaker 4 (25:08):
And it's narrative, right.
Speaker 2 (25:10):
So I'm trying to, like originally edit it as fast
as the Eric Andre Show, which is like the fastest
editing ever. And Jeff Tremaine, who was our like Papa
Bear producer on it, who co created Jackass, directed all
the Jacko's movies. He goes, I'm telling you, guys, to
meanky Tao. He goes, I'm telling you, you can't edit
(25:31):
this as fast as it can't be the same pace
as Eric Andriy.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
She couldn't take it for two hours or whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:37):
Well, he goes, Physically, the movie is on a big screen.
Your eye is taking in a bunch of information on
a big screen in a dark room. It's not watching
dumb little clips on your iPhone or TV at home.
He goes, your eye physically can't keep up with the
pace of your show, which is exceptionally fast. He goes,
(25:59):
I'm telling you, a movie has to be has to
move at a slower pace, and the audience has taken
narrative information just like foreigner lyrics, you know what I mean. Like,
and I was like, ah, man, fuck that, I'm punk rock.
Like I wasn't listening to He goes, I'm pump rock too.
I invented Jackass. I'm telling you. When we went from
Jackass the TV show to the Jackass movies, I had
(26:20):
to learn this lesson myself. I'm not trying to control you.
I'm telling you it's an actual fact. It's a medium
principle of you getting raped by a rilla.
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (26:29):
Yeah, So he was like but he was basically the
David Byrne of comedy. I didn't know you open up
for a nice stuff. So so he was cool and
he was supportive. That's great. I love hearing.
Speaker 3 (26:40):
I can't say enough good things about the guy.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
I've only heard good things about the guys. I think
he's been through it all. And he went to Helen
back and yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (26:46):
He's also you know, extremely as you expected, extremely professional focused,
you know, like yeah professional, also like you know, we
we played with them in Hell Fast, we got to
do the song we did together, and like he's going
So he's doing it, like performing at like a hundred
per hundred ten percent the whole set where we were
watching side tag like holy ship, Yeah, yeah, nothing anything.
Speaker 2 (27:07):
He's a star.
Speaker 3 (27:08):
It's amazing.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
He's pretty fucking Yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
There's the reason he is.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
You know, he's a special guy. He's a he's a
fucking Oscar Award winning He's a genius. He's a fucking
musical genius.
Speaker 1 (27:19):
And to make.
Speaker 2 (27:20):
Industrial music popular is like impossible. Like I used to
listen to like cam FDM, Like that's for nobody, Like nobody,
nobody listens to that ship, you know what I mean,
Like like I do, me and you do. But like
the fact that somebody unearthed all you know, remember a
Leah the R and B singer the late rmbs, she
(27:42):
loved uh nine in Nails and somebody somebody made a
super cut of her and interviews just being like, and
my favorite band of all time Nine inch Nails. Trent
Razner is a genius. Nine inch Nails. That's the best
band out right now. So like the fact that that
guy was able to make in dust st real music popular,
(28:03):
it's crazy speaks to his prowess songwriting, nineties a wild
time anything else what other bombs.
Speaker 3 (28:10):
All right, let me look up. I wrote down some
other bombs. You always bring up, Like I heard like
two seconds of two episodes. You're like, what's the most
wasted you want?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, what's the most wasted?
Speaker 1 (28:18):
You were on stage?
Speaker 3 (28:19):
I am too responsible? I like, you know, because you're
wast You were wasted on my show? Yes, I was,
But but you guys gave you guys gave do that
on purpose. You give the like open bar on the backstage.
Speaker 4 (28:29):
It was like eight bombs, but we don't put a
gun in your head and say fit pol come on.
Speaker 3 (28:33):
Yeah right, that's like a fucking booby trap on purpose.
Speaker 2 (28:37):
All I'm commenting on is the fact you're like, I'm professional,
I only have I wouldn't be. No, No, I don't.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
I only I've been. However, like you alway talking about
like psychedelics, like I would love more than anything to
play a show on some screams or LSD have you. No,
I just had a recurtagey for the other guys because
they don' wouldn't understand they're not into that stuff. They'd
be really pissed at me.
Speaker 4 (28:57):
I don't think I would the most wastes that you've
been on stage.
Speaker 3 (29:00):
I don't know, just a lot. Just he's drinking. It's
not that big a deal.
Speaker 4 (29:02):
I think, like a Primavera's like that's like the common
you know, like you're not so RUDSTI no.
Speaker 3 (29:08):
Sometimes sober sometimes, but like it's not like a big deal.
But like uh but like Primavera, I did, like I
remember we were we were this uh the second premam Era.
It was a preview. It is like the most best vestals.
Speaker 2 (29:19):
The almost got to play it this year or something happened.
Oh yeah whatever.
Speaker 3 (29:23):
Well you know the Spanish like they wake up six pm,
they live at home till they're like thirty five. Yeah,
and they party all night.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
They got to figure it out.
Speaker 3 (29:30):
So it's just it's insane there. So like the vibe there.
Uh so like right before we went on that like
the guy comes by and he's got all the stuff.
So I did, like I did like fucking a gorilla finger,
like a fucking screamer, and then right went on and then.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I was like a gorilla fingers like well returns.
Speaker 3 (29:46):
But like you know, it's like when you do like
a line of coke that's so big, a scream that's
a screamer, you know, you're like a you know, and
those you're like like but or they call or they
call it a gorilla. It looks like it looks like
a gorilla finger, you.
Speaker 2 (29:58):
Know what I mean, Like it's so big, my god.
Speaker 3 (30:02):
So I did I did that and we went on.
It was like then we went on stage like three Am.
We got to close the stage, like that's the Primo song,
like the sot they give you if you're like, if
they really love you, you get to play three Am
on that stage, crazy and losing it and the first
song because all this ship sounds like fun. It was
like feeding back and Jake was fucking furious to kick
the ship over and I was like I'm gonna. I
(30:23):
was like yeah, and I was like going on later,
Jake was really pissing. He's like, you could have died
on stage, man. I'm like I would be yea, what.
Speaker 2 (30:30):
Do you do too much coke? You just bear and
bear it down so you can.
Speaker 3 (30:33):
Well, we're playing the show. Once I said you lock in,
You're in the show.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Locked in the show.
Speaker 3 (30:36):
It was a great show.
Speaker 2 (30:38):
Show the show.
Speaker 3 (30:38):
The show is magical. It was like I was young
at the time. Now I was on love with my girlfriend.
Like the second we got off stage, I took all
the molly at once, and then I ran out.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
You're trying to get your heart to pup and then and.
Speaker 3 (30:49):
Then I ran out, and then all the kids was
like five in the morning. They got around me. I
was my girlfriend and they started worshed.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
They all worked out, and I was like, oh, yeah,
you're like a golden guy. It was magical, like a
bomb that sounds like that.
Speaker 3 (31:06):
It was one of the best that yeah, and then
and then kept going and it was just me hearing
the sound man that it was like eighty am we're
rocking this. I'm like a war off. It's like, oh no, no,
oh god.
Speaker 6 (31:18):
You know.
Speaker 3 (31:19):
That was terrible at that point, but it was great.
It was worth it. It was great.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
When he did drugs, he doesn't yea, he had two
heart attacks when he's twenty nine years old. Sober ever since.
He's a chef, but I mean I.
Speaker 3 (31:30):
Do I didn't follow his recipe on mine.
Speaker 2 (31:32):
He's a great She's an incredible chef. He's very talented man.
But I asked him what when he did drugs, what
was it like? He goes, I forget what he called
the gorilla finger reminded me of it. I think he
called it a.
Speaker 4 (31:42):
Third rail, and I go, well, gatertail. It was a
gator taniel. I'll tell you what.
Speaker 2 (31:46):
When I think a third railer, he would do ketamine,
meth and coke all in one giant line at work
while he was cooking. What he said, he would drink
a big gulp of vodka and then do a thirdd rail.
What it's horrible.
Speaker 3 (32:04):
How did you eat food after that?
Speaker 1 (32:06):
He doesn't eat.
Speaker 2 (32:07):
He was like cooking and he was crazy. He did
sample them like you know, I don't know. He was
like a fucking wild maniac back in the day. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (32:17):
He's third rail.
Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, he's like working at very stressful kitchens and working
like nineteen hour shifts.
Speaker 4 (32:23):
So he's just like, hey, every drug ever, no problem.
Speaker 3 (32:26):
That's a new one.
Speaker 1 (32:27):
Third rail.
Speaker 2 (32:28):
What's a gatortail?
Speaker 3 (32:29):
Gatortail? Same thing? A grailler fingers a really big line.
I think xanax mixed with coke is zombie dust.
Speaker 2 (32:35):
Okay, I know, mushrooms and Molly's hippie flip yeap, then
candy flip yeah, drinking Robotestin's robot tripping.
Speaker 3 (32:43):
Yeah, dude, you ever did you ever do that?
Speaker 2 (32:45):
Shit?
Speaker 3 (32:45):
It as a kid, like Corseton, you eat the pills.
What's Corse, It's like it was easier way to row trips.
It's so hard to drink robotestin.
Speaker 2 (32:50):
Oh yeah, no, I'm from Florida. The kids would chug
the robot So I never did it. I never did it.
Speaker 3 (32:55):
Well, so corseedon you could take up. It's super easy.
You just eat like forty pills at once. Wrong, so crazy.
No I never did again, Like, no, that's scary. It
slows down time.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
So my friend did it and he goes. I felt
like my brain was boiling and I went to the
ninth Circle of Hell and there're like best friends that I.
Speaker 1 (33:15):
Was just like, no thanks.
Speaker 3 (33:16):
We watched Sounds and Lambs and it felt like it
took like eight hours. And remember we put on a
song and I knew the song was four minutes. I
remember just looking at the clock.
Speaker 1 (33:23):
She's like, jeez, so.
Speaker 2 (33:25):
Never get one time I ate weed with eight nugs.
I was like in tenth grade with peanut butter. I
just like scooped the nuts. And this is before weed's legal. Yea, yeah,
there's no dispensaries. There's no weed gummies. This is back
in the day. I'm talking. This is the nineties. I'm
like fifteen, and I had this cough left over from colds.
(33:47):
I was like, I want to get stoned, but I
don't want to smoke it. My friend's like, I think
you can eat it with peanut butter. So I ate
an entire It's probably the most high I've ever been.
You just eat a straight apparently, I think it a
cook it or something. No, he goes to my veran
goes the peanut butter extracts the THC in your stomach. Oh,
my friend who's like was sixteen and equally ding.
Speaker 3 (34:08):
We had the internet, though kids knew this shit it was.
Speaker 2 (34:11):
It wasn't pre internet, but the Internet wasn't a part
of life yet. There was definitely no smartphones. I had
no cell phone at the time.
Speaker 3 (34:18):
Way better.
Speaker 2 (34:19):
It was like I had a beeper and like the
only computer was in your mom's like room, you know
what I mean, Like and you had to kick your
mom off the phone to use the Yeah, So it
was like those days. So I scooped peanut butter on
a knife, on a butter knife and just packed nugs
of weed and like just ate like weed at like
(34:39):
peanut butter, like and an hour goes by and I
was like, man, that was a total failed didn't work.
And I started playing bass in my friends fucking crazy
house and then like I was tripping balls. I was
like the most high and fucked up I've ever been
in my entire life. I don't know what that's called,
but I've smoked uh cloud nine, like we dipped in
(35:02):
bombing fluid and PCP and I was less high then
than when I just hate by itself?
Speaker 3 (35:07):
What is the what is the PCP high?
Speaker 2 (35:10):
I was just it's kissing. It's kind of me.
Speaker 3 (35:12):
Oh really, well, hey I'm learning.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
Man.
Speaker 3 (35:14):
You had a the fucking Flat Earth book in your
waiting room.
Speaker 2 (35:16):
Oh really yeah, I don't know what's out there.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Yeah, it was whacky. I went to I went to
the fucking Index of Bibliography. It was all YouTube links.
Speaker 2 (35:24):
It's like it's like a North Korean prison out there.
I don't know what's going on there.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Oh I found out I'm North Korean actually recently.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
Oh yeah, well there it was one country.
Speaker 3 (35:36):
Yeah yeah, you know, but it's my whole life, my mom.
I even asked him I'm like, well, I'm not, We're
like South Korea.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
It's the guy.
Speaker 3 (35:41):
We're good And then uh, they came out later if
my mom just never told me.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
I went to the DMZ. Wait really, I went to
the DMZ and looked at North Korea through binoculars. And
that's as close as what is it like when I
won't go I won't do you? They have they have
a fake city that's like a facade because they noticed
that people were watching, tours were watching, so they built
this like really makes sure like.
Speaker 3 (36:03):
Village or whatever.
Speaker 2 (36:03):
Yeah, and it's like totally like two D city and
the rest of it looks like pure misery, pure pure
fucking hell. But there is North Korean cuisine that I
tried to get. There's like one isn't that much different,
But there's this one stew that this woman in South
Korea told me to get and I failed it.
Speaker 3 (36:23):
Wait Dan Sung saw in La. That's North Korean?
Speaker 6 (36:26):
Is it?
Speaker 3 (36:26):
Yeah, well it's supposed to be. It's like a Korean's
a bunker theme restaurant, and I mean, it's the same
fucking food. But oh uh huh, yeah, that's why they
all Wait camera, there's a big picture of Kim Jung
ill in there really, Yeah, it's on the wall.
Speaker 2 (36:38):
It's pretty controversial, is it in Korea town?
Speaker 1 (36:41):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:42):
Okay, well that's that's like having a Fidel Castro picture
at a Cuban restaurant.
Speaker 3 (36:46):
Yeah, it's actually funny. It's like when you go to
a Russia It's like they have guys dressed up as
like uh solid and putin like you can't do that
in Germany. There's not like take a photo Hitler. You know,
it's like fucking funny. So I don't know who else
who doesn't they do it?
Speaker 2 (37:01):
I mean George watching It own more slaves than anybody.
He was the richest man in America at the time.
He owned more slaves. His teeth were slave teeth. I
did find that recently with lead in them. So he
was like he was and apparently it's a ginger. Oh really,
and he's like as tall as me. That's the least
important fact everything. I just I just and redhead, what
(37:31):
hold it right there?
Speaker 3 (37:32):
I have a story about asking death Gripts for a
beer and then I crank about I'll eat okay, okay,
how are you to start eating?
Speaker 1 (37:39):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (37:39):
Easy? I got other bombings, but they're so normal like them, Yeah,
the want to I guess everyone, well, you know, okay,
this is actually anyone in a band. I will understand that.
If you played Germany, they have a bad show, like
barely everyone comes. All this staff comes up to you
and they be like, wow, it must feel so terrible
to all the way here and have Nolan comes to
(37:59):
you a show. I'll just be like, you are so bad.
You must feel awful when.
Speaker 1 (38:04):
You go to sleep.
Speaker 2 (38:05):
I just went to Taiwan and like Taiwanese girls, they
have no filter, so it's like the food is really bad.
They'll just go to the waiter like, hey, this food
is terrible. It tastes like dog food.
Speaker 3 (38:15):
Isn't anyway, they gotta got you gotta have a Taiwanese accent.
Come on, let's come on here, come many With that,
I can't I can't get into the story. I'm not
being able to notice myself. I can't imagine. It's not
not marking.
Speaker 2 (38:25):
If you do a black Son, I will do a Taiwanese.
Speaker 3 (38:28):
I feel like I'm doing a black set. Hey percent
in my life, I grew up a Comedy Central and like,
you know, that's like getting regular doing the right.
Speaker 2 (38:36):
Impression of an old, dirty past. Okay, so death grips beer.
Speaker 3 (38:46):
Story, Okay, it's ad f y F. This is I
don't know why the story is so funny. People find
it very funny, so I tell it all the time.
Were we played right before them, and their trailer is
right next to stage, our trailers in the artist zone.
So I just really wanted to beer. So I went
and I knocked the door and I was like, hey man,
we're the band right before you. You know, my trailers
really far away. Can I just have one of your beers?
(39:06):
And it was the keyboard guy and.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
He was just like uh.
Speaker 3 (39:13):
Uh no when he showed the door, Oh no, oh,
this isn't really a bombing. But one of the last
nine Shale shows we played this is separately after that tour.
It was in their farewell shows in La and we
were on stage and like halfway to the set and
like it was just like it was like the it
was like an outhouse, but like like the back of
the Chinese restaurant, like put together. It was like so bad.
And I was like, dude, at first, it's like someone farting.
I'm like, no, I can't where it was at the Fonda.
(39:35):
We're like two songs in and I'm just like, I'm
just staring at the guys and man like something shit
their fucking pants, Like only a live shit could be
this live. It was actually crazier, like how could a
shit be this crazy? And I'm just looking I'm like
sclaring at everyone like who the fuck shit their pants?
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Man?
Speaker 3 (39:49):
And they were playing this thing and then suddenly I
hear was the screaming for the audience and screaming and
screamings building, and I looked out and this girl in
Daisy Dudes, Red Daisy Dupes is being crowdsurfed, and I
fucking like the fire hose like of of of just
of just you know, of whatever. Yeager ship is straying
full blastes were like and she got fucking thrown over
(40:10):
the barricade, just spraying and spraying and spray. Why and
then are you?
Speaker 2 (40:14):
And I was like crowdserving why?
Speaker 3 (40:15):
You know, I think they're trying to get rid of her.
She was spraying so bad. They're like get out of here,
you know, and you know, and you know, then I'm
sure she's waiting there since like eight in the morning,
drinking Yeager so so so they spray over her. Yeah,
everyone's everyone's just screaming and screaming, and there's just you know,
liquid ship and everyone. Oh yeah, oh yeah, imagine underneath everyone.
(40:38):
It was like it was like blade, you know, like
everyone's gonna last my job. So then I had this
moment I'm like, dude, we hit the brown note.
Speaker 1 (40:45):
But no.
Speaker 2 (40:46):
Then I cut up.
Speaker 3 (40:47):
You're like, well halfway through, I'm like, dude, we're fucking
whoa pants man? And then and then I was like,
oh wait, that doesn't make any sense. There's no fucking way,
you know, Like I don't know. I was like, is
it the moment. It's like, in a few seconds, yea. Anyway,
you start thinking, logically, they're waiting all day in the sun,
drinking Yeager. I'm assuming Yeger.
Speaker 2 (41:04):
Why why?
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Why? Why the consistency?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
You know, like you know, you can tell what kind
how it is if anyone would go, it would.
Speaker 1 (41:14):
Be you.
Speaker 3 (41:15):
Something Yager equivalent to get that consistency.
Speaker 2 (41:18):
It was like that ship.
Speaker 3 (41:19):
It was like a not a smoothie, but a milkshake,
you know what I'm saying, Like empty stomach.
Speaker 2 (41:25):
Could you imagine that that story haunts her whole life?
And then she comes across this podcast episode is like
she can't shake it. I don't care. I hope she
does hear this podcast.
Speaker 3 (41:34):
I was like, these guys are really you got to
get to go to the hospital. She's like, she's touch
nails man. She will waiting all day, you know. Rare,
Just get those tickets. I'm just really shocked. The letter
back in. I feel like if I was sprained diarrhea.
Speaker 2 (41:48):
I'm going home, I'm washing up, and I'm like I'm quarantining.
Speaker 3 (41:53):
It was so rare though. She's wearing Daisy Dukes though,
because I think because the time, what city is La
the fund so the tightness of the pants, I think
I created that that that hose affected me. You squeeze
the hose and it was coming out like one of those.
Speaker 2 (42:07):
The god you know, I was saying, Yeah, and you
have like a chicken pog in your dick. No you
wing your peace blits in half in the morning sometimes yeah,
not fully like.
Speaker 3 (42:19):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker 2 (42:21):
Yeah yeah yeah, not kind of like it peak with boner,
peaking with a boner. Your piece pits in half.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (42:25):
Yeah. When I had Chicken Box, I had a chickenpog
in my dick hole and oh to your.
Speaker 3 (42:29):
Kid, all right, see by, all right, cool.
Speaker 2 (42:37):
With every condre all right, listen up, we got something
special for you. Got a burning story that you're itching
to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed in life.
Now's your chance to tell me all about it. Maybe
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking?
Speaker 5 (42:54):
What just happened moment? So pick up your phone and
dial seven one six Bombing. That's seven one six two
six six twenty four sixty four and leave me a
voice bail and.
Speaker 2 (43:04):
We might just play it on a future episode. Bombing
with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will Ferrell's
Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcast. Our producer is
Bei Wang, our research assistant is David Carliner, our editor
in sound designers Andy Harris, and our art is by
Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and drop a
review on your podcast app a choice
Host
Eric Andre
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