November 15, 2023 • 31 mins
Eric and comedy friend Sydnee Washington (How To Start A Fire) talk about bombing in Detroit in the middle of a rainstorm, homophobic remarks made in the crowd, and white women professing their love for her jeans, which didn't help the situation. The two also discuss how disappointing Black people during a comedy performance is like letting down your own family. She opens up about anxiety and sobriety, along with making it rain at a funeral and recent breakups. Lastly, Sydnee talks about accidentally setting her childhood home on fire.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up, everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Welcome to another edition of Bombing with Eric Andre, the
podcast where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other
creative people about their worst moments on stage, at life,
really anywhere in this dimension. Today we have my good friend,
comedian Sydney Washington on the podcast, who sat down with
us to talk about how she started a fire at
her childhood home and how to survive a breakup AKAA relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Bomb You know the deal. We publish new episodes every week.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Rate us five stars and check out Big Money Players
Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get exclusive weekly bonus content
plus ad free episodes.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Bombing with Aeric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
So you know the premise, Yeah, you have some stories
lined up.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Oh yeah, of course and a recent too recent bombs.
When I got the email, I was like, bombit. I
don't know nothing about that, and then I.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
Was like, actually, can you tell us what happened.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'll start with the one that was like maybe three
months ago. I was in Detroit, was in House of Comedy.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
You were touring or just one off went off.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I've been hitting up spots, but I haven't like actually
put you know, do the the graphic.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
We're on tour. You know, I didn't do any of that.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
So I'm in Detroit House of Comedy. Meanwhile, it's it's
the home of where my ex lives.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
She is in Detroit, she.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Moves in the audience.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
No, no, she was actually gonna come see a show. Think
she moved back to Detroit, she bought a house.
Speaker 6 (01:30):
She is y. We're lesbians. Of course, we're still friends.
We're still in a group.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Chat together with her family, and she has a new
girlfriend and we're all BFFs. It's fine, We're living great.
So I'm there in Detroit. I'm feeling I'm feeling good.
I was like, this is going to be a great weekend. No,
Jill Scott is performing across the streets from House of
Comedy and it is sold out. And then two doors down,
(02:00):
I think Mike Epps, people from wild'n Out, Nick Cannon
are Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So the audience was spread spread out.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
The whole strip was of important people that was way
more important than me.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
So when I tell you the sales were low, I to.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Hear you say that of equal importance, of.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Equal importance, yes, But when I tell you, when I
walked into the room, it was not.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
It showed me that. I was like, oh, wow, are
people here?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
So so it was empty.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
It was not empty, but it also was not it
was it was it was. It was probably like twenty
people and it was it's a big, pretty big room.
So the first show was because I did four shows,
So the first show was decent, you know, a small crowd,
but they you know, they fuck with me, so it
(02:49):
was great. The next show, it started pouring raining, pouring raining,
and it took us a while to get people in
and they were like, you might have to call it
and I said, if we call it God's plan, but
they didn't. A group of fifteen older black people come
in and I said, yes, that's who, that's my people.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
He was so good.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I was like, oh, family's here. But then I was like,
I actually hate my family. Why this is a bad time.
So I start talking about I'm gay. They immediately they
were like absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
So then I'm like I'm literally.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Ten minutes in and I'm like, oh shit, I got
a whole hour. These people really not fucking with So
they're not laughing with me, they're laughing at me, and
now they're yelling at me. They're like, you just haven't
had the right dick yet, that type of that type
of homophobia.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
They were like, God will take care of you like that,
yelling at me, and it's like not.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
It's a small room, so echoing, you're bouncing off and
there's like men, women, cousins, all this, and so I stopped.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I said, wait a minute, why are y'all here?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
And they always like one of the women, our cousin
told us to come here, and so I was like,
so it's your fault. So then they all start laughing
me because I was like, so it's your fault, cousin,
that everybody hates me because you didn't tell them that
I'm gay. And I was like, so you know what
that means, you're gay? Because they're trying to figure out
why the fuck you want to come see me. So
(04:22):
then they said any and every homophobic thing that you
could possibly say, and the.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Club no security.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
They could have.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Rushed me, they could have did a hate crime, thrown
Stacy Adams shoe at me. It could have happened to me.
Nobody stopped them. It was so bad that the young
white girls were like.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We like your jeans.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I said, Susan, you're not saying it's not a helpful thing.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
Were they like hostile, like like, were they like middle
school kids?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (05:06):
No, no, no they were yes. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
There was one guy that I had asked him a question.
He's like, I'm not listening to you, and then they
all laughed. It felt like cafeteria, right, but for people
who are almost in a nursing home. So it was
I had never and and then again I'm waiting. I
was like, this would be a perfect time for my
(05:29):
ex to just roll up, roll up with her girlfriend
to come and see this and be like, yes, I'm
in a better place. This is why we broke up,
you know what I mean, and the whole and they
would interact with me. They would laugh when I would
speak to them because they thought that was funny. But
they would not leave. They would not leave, and I
needed money, so I'll tell I'll take the homophobia for
(05:51):
a check. And I was like, well, I'm not going
back out. I did a whole hour. I did the
whole hour. I tried to I tried to buy some
of them shots. They didn't want my gay shots. They
didn't want nothing. The women I tried to like. At
the end, I was like, thank you so much for staying.
They wanted no parts of me. They thought I was
(06:13):
There was one guy that was like talking to me,
but he was thinking, like, you're not really gay, and
it's like, Sir, my strap is in my person.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I've done the research.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
I'm definitely a homosexual. Yeah, but it was it was
scary because I was like, anything can happen. But also
it was like, disappointing black people is a different type
of disapplins. You feel like you let down your ancestors.
You're like, Sojourner Truth is rolling over in her grave.
(06:49):
Harriet Tubman did not free slaves for this, for this,
for me to bomb in Detroit at the House of Comedy.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
And so that was the first night.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
So then the next day I tell my agent, I'm like,
I'm in turmoil. I'm just like i gotta leave. I
gotta get on the next flight out of here. And
she's like, Okay, I'm gonna talk to them. You don't
have to do tonight. And I said, oh no, I'm
gonna need that money. I'm gonna need to go in
to back. I said, I'm gonna go back't I needed
(07:21):
the back And it wasn't even a bag It wasn't
even a bad and they were like, this is so
funny because the girl, the girl who was here last week,
it was a snowstorm, so we had to cancel one
of her shows. And then the next day, like fifteen
people showed up. It was embtazine. I said, so, y'all
hate women, as a house of comedy hates women, so
it's not just me.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
This house of comedy a big Detroit.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, No show I did on my tour in North
America was Detroit.
Speaker 6 (07:48):
Oh, I believe it. Audience.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Philly and Detroit were tough.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
No.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
I love Philly, Philly love me down, but it was.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Philly was tough.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
I might have just been off, but Detroit was tough.
They don't when.
Speaker 6 (08:01):
I tell you, they did not leave. It was like
you hate me. Leave.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
They were said no, no, no, I pay my money. I'm
gonna make you uncomfortable. And I looked in their eyes
and they were like, no, we're staying until you dropped
the mic. I think they wanted to bully me into stopping.
And I said, oh, I'm doing my whole hour, I'm
talking to you, we're doing and they were like.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
One woman walked out, she's like, I'm gonna pray for you.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I really am. I really am gonna pray. And I said, man,
all right. But the next day I did two shows
and they were great. I talked to the people on
the top. I said, no, we're not doing what we
did last night. I don't know if you were here
last night, I'm sure you weren't, but I am gay.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
We're starting up top. I am gay.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
If you do not like gays or blacks or women,
get the fuck out. And they all clapped and they're horses.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
I'm not doing this for y'all.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
And I said, I'm putting my phone on live so
anything happened, I'm going viral. I'm going viral and you're
seeing your face and you won't be able to go
to your post office after this. I would ruin your
supermarket experience if you fuck with me. And they got
it together and they were happy.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
All the time.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
I was like, you don't want to have to do that.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You have to do that.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
You paid to have a good time. Why AnyWho?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
So that bomb it shook me to my core. I said, oh,
I need to go work at the DMV. This is
not for me.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
I'm not I'm not a comedian. I'm back.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
I'm bad.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
And someone messaged me and they were like, you handled
it so well and even if you were not doing well,
I was going to stay the whole show. I said,
all right, since that didn't help. That didn't help me.
You're letting me know.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
So it was bad, but you handled it quite well.
Grace I had grace.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
So yeah, that one, I was like, I don't think
I'll ever be back to Detroit. I think I'm good
on Detroit.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I did. They are live in Detroit one time and
there was.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Like a fight, a fist fight on it feels like
Eric and yeah, it's fine actually that actually prayers are
on stage. Yeah, someone throwing them bos with Eric Andre
in the background that I would love.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
To see the graphic for that. Did you videotape it?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No, this is early tour. It was fucking it was crazy.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
It was crazy. They like escalated quickly.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I mean, it happens because you just you just don't
expect such foolishness.
Speaker 7 (10:30):
It was a white kid on stage that said something
to a black guy in the audience and like it
wasn't the guy didn't the white kid didn't say anything racist,
but I think he was trying to be like ironic
and like be funny too, And the guy was like,
are you talking about me? Thank you and jumped on
stage detroying.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
In the middle of an interview.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
And Byron is the funniest to for that to happen
because his facial expressions, he might even egg some shit on.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. He didn't help.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Yeah, no, no, he was like, no, I love this. He
lives for this. Yet He's like, why would we stop this?
This is good? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:13):
So yeah, that that one. You need a good bomb
to shake you and then make you be like, I
gotta go back to the drawing board, I gotta write again.
I gotta, you know, delete my ex's number.
Speaker 6 (11:23):
Stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
With Aricodrey.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
With Aricodrey, what is the worst bomb You've ever seen?
And what's the most wasted you've been on stage?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
The most wasted I've gotten. I was doing a show
with my best friend Mariray Foston. She's so funny, she's
the best. It was called the warm Up and it
was at Carme Lounge, which is hookah bar, and it
was like our first show and I'm about like faux
five patron shots in and it's packed.
Speaker 6 (12:05):
There's smoke, hot people, people are in the Christian Nubians
and it's a good time. The show is great.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Our headliner or important person she wan incredible. This is
when Shangway had short hair.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Yah early so cool.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
He's so cool.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
I'd even recognize him the second time I saw him.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Yeah, so cool me when I tell you, it was
the worst intro I've ever could have possibly given anybody.
Speaker 6 (12:35):
And I was like, and he's Asian. No slur, yeah,
slur stop Asian.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Hang It was there was literally no reason and I
had just started. I was like, new to comedy anyway.
And so he gets up and he's like.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Okay, like he handled it well.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
And then we passed the tip bucket and we I'm
they was throwing tons of money in the bucket. We
pay him one hundred dollars. He was not expecting to
get no money from this bum as show. And he
was like, yeah, have me back. He would take attle,
He'll take.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
A little foolish intro for one hundred.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
I liked. I like message him and I said, I'm
so sorry, this is fucked up, but.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Awful.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
In the room was like when.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
Comedians went all right, next guys, we got a lady
coming in the stage, and the audience is like, I
wouldn't feel weird about that, but now I do, so
now she has to dig herself out of a hole.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I have a booger.
Speaker 6 (13:41):
I see, I see, I see the booger. It's coming out.
It's like I would like to be a special guest.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
That looks like a pink guy.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Yeah, you're it's coming. It's coming. Well, you have nice
hands and you have good nail beds. Me hitting on
Eric Andre in the.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
People.
Speaker 6 (14:05):
Ladies, You guys don't know what a lot of things are,
and you love it.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I don't know if I love it.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
So sick of the anxiety, it's it's hard. I was,
I can't take it anymore.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I think it actually is the reason why I'm.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Not further along in my career.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
The anxiety, anxiety and self sabotage and the like.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
It's just too much going on. It's like when you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
I think, I think every single comedian has anxiety and depression.
Speaker 7 (14:31):
What is the name name one comedian that doesn't have name,
one successful comedian that isn't riddled with anxiety or depression.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Any writer, name a single writer.
Speaker 6 (14:40):
It's crazy. I was just on a floorer. Michelle Buteau.
I feel like.
Speaker 7 (14:43):
Michelle has horrendous anxiety.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Even if she does, I can't.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Tell say that as one of her best.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Friends, I can't tell she.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Like because we learn, we learn how to mask.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
She's always loving light and like every show I've been
on with her and I even just hanging out, I'm like,
she's just incredible.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
She's she's pretty bad anxiety.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
Damn yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Mean, it's part of your brain. It's fine. It's like
every living creature has anxiety.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Being on the prescription fucking help tremendously. But I didn't
have anxiety until I got sober. Didn't know that.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
I was probably masking it, because do.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You haven't when you were a little kid.
Speaker 6 (15:23):
No, But I also was pretty odd as a little kid.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, we sense.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
I didn't have no you Ja's witness.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
I was not Jehovah's witness. Stop it. I was not
knocking on.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I didn't have any birthday parties.
Speaker 6 (15:36):
I had a few, but they weren't big on that.
It wasn't there to think, really, that's a Baptist Methodist thing.
I don't know it was just like old school, like
we've been through it all. We don't need all of this.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Like all you need is like shelter, clothes on your back,
food in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
What do you the salt of the earth?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
What do you need? Disney World is your.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Aunt and uncle saying this.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yeah, I got to meet them.
Speaker 6 (15:59):
They're gone, They're in a better place.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
The year so long ago, Okay.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
So long they actually they passed away while I was
when I was waitressing and old.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
I think like twenty eight twenty nine.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
My uncle, my great uncle, my uncle papa, he passed.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
He passed right after college. So I was like, I.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Don't know, like twenty twenty two, twenty one or something
like that. But I got my job as a as
a waitress or whatever, and I was making a lot
of money. And me and my mom had like had
a big falling out because I didn't finish college. So
I go to his funeral and my mother is trying
to embarrass me at his funeral, and I owed her
(16:43):
like eight hundred dollars because of a singular remember singular.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
The young what's the difference?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
No, she had me when she was like in her thirties,
like thirty. Oh yeah, but she was trying to embarrass
me at the funeral, and so I pulled out eight
hundred dollars, like I made it rain at the funeral,
and I was like, bitch, here's your money.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
And honestly, it was highlight of my life.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
But then we almost fought at hometown buffet, so yeah,
it was.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
It was very detroit of us. Well, she's also in
a better place now.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
But oh my god, I'm fuck, it's striking out.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I'm a morbid person. So
this is another this is no, no, no, this is good.
I love it. The kid asked me about another problem.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
All my exes did, yeah, but yeah, we didn't have
like birthday parties or whatever. So like now, growing up,
it's a bigger thing to like celebrate a birthday because
we can. I think they also didn't. They couldn't spend
too much money on birthdays, so it wasn't a big
deal for them. But now it's like as an adult, it's.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Like, yeah, let's get the cake. That's like two hundred dollars,
let's go.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You think you're ever gonna settle down and have kids
and stuff.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
Not having kids.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
I don't do it, want to do it.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
No, I think and correct me if I'm wrong. Too
many fucked up people are having kids.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
That is correct, too many.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
But I don't think.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
I think you're not a person genetically.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You don't want to pass it down. I think about that.
I don't want to give this to anything.
Speaker 6 (18:20):
I don't care.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And a lot of people be like, I want to say,
I want to make a little me, because yeah, you
might look the part, but inside you are absolute staten
island garbage.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
You should not you should.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Be nowhere near sperm and eggs to make anything.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
But doesn't it deepen your experience on this earth?
Speaker 6 (18:42):
What?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Having kids?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Raising kids? Are you supposed to do it?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
The more and more I get older, the more and
more I'm like, yo, there's so many lost souls out
here because somebody was like, I think I should have
a family, and I got a legacy. You can't even
read out loud, what is your legacy? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no no no. I don't I think the people who
and I have friends who have kids, and I'm like,
(19:08):
oh my god, yes, you were supposed to have kids.
And then there's other people that. I'm like, absolutely not,
no way, you should be far away. Your dick should
be away from No, take it off. You shouldn't be
using it.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
You should your sperm.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Suck it out, get it b secon me take it No,
no good. You know who's really good with that? Like
I see him with his Linston Lnston Kerman with his
When I see it him and his wife, I'm like, yes,
you guys, Michelle Bijoe with her kids and her husband,
I'm like yes. And it's some of it is just
(19:46):
like you know, just access people preparing like not just
having babies on a whib or whatever.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
But and then I.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Meet people who I'm like, they are good people, but
they jeans.
Speaker 6 (19:58):
So I shook up. Yeah, they put somebody did the
eight ball and just.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
You could adopt. You could adopt.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Nah, if I'm adopting, they gotta be twenty five. I'm
adopting a friend. That's all I'm doing. I want somebody growing,
were going out, you're paying for your food. You already
on the way to being successful. And then I could
just clip on it. But like, this is my baby,
Like I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Know, with a recondre. With a recdre, I was a
demon child. You.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I was a demon me too.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
I've burned my I burn my house down. What what
do you mean by accident like that?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I just like I just like Ninja Turtle Cereal.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
It was wow.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Tell us, let's go out on this. This is the
grand finale everything. I'm not gonna use the rest of
the podcast.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
No, no, I have my gym. It burned out of
the accident.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I'm not saying but you are an narcissist.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
I'm gonna say, it's actually.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
What happened.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
The thing is, is.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
That, right, Like, that's what I'm talking about when you
when you have kids and you're not like my aunt
and uncles did the best.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
That they could, right, But candle or something, I wish
it was that.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
What were you doing?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
You're playing with gasoline in the house.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
No, I like lit like a cigar, plastic cigar and plastics.
I don't know if people know, but when you when
plastic is on fire, it melts.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
I did not know that as a kid.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
So it it went into a like a bag of
newspapers because they were hoarders. There was just like like
papers from the from the Reagan era, like like the
jet magazines everywhere like old heirlooms like chot Sky stuff
that a.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Fire waiting to happen.
Speaker 6 (21:59):
Yeah, yeah, I did great in sixth grade.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Yes, yep, that's what happened. And I was so down.
Not it was most half of it, half of it.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's so.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It was a massifire.
Speaker 6 (22:15):
It was pretty bad. Where were the news king?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Oh fuck, are you serious?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
So your first credit coming to the stage.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Yeah, truly, truly.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
It was.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Comedian arsonists. I'm gonna put that in my bio now.
Somebody could have died for sure, and they didn't.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Where were they?
Speaker 6 (22:36):
They were in the back.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Of that wild You have a wild life?
Speaker 6 (22:41):
I mean the fact that I and this is a problem.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
I had tol and set it off and you're like
that normal I was.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Before waiting to extale that bitch learned from me.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Okay, eighties trash I started.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
You have a fucking wild life?
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Yeah, it was wild. It's crazy that I divulge all
this for free.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Do you talk about all this on stage?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
I have a solo show called how to Start a Fire,
and it's all these childhood stories and then the fire.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Wild life.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
I do, I do, I admit that, but I think
like it's cool yeah, I think this is cool to
talk about. Do I think I need to have a kid? No,
I have experience for a book, for a show, for
a show. I stand in solidarity TV SAG.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah yeah wa forever.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
But but I do have like entertainment purposes. But within
you're like, damn bitch, you've been through some shiit.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Like you you've lived a thousand lives so many? Do
you have your own show?
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Do I have my own show?
Speaker 5 (23:48):
What you mean you need a TV show?
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Presents? Eric Andre?
Speaker 7 (23:51):
Sure, Whatever'll the wacky next door anytime.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I'll be the super in the building.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
Honestly, there's something for you. There's so many things that
you can be in.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I'll be one of the guys that you burned the
house down of.
Speaker 6 (24:06):
No, No, how's your sleep?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
That's the last question, you know, I think?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Right now?
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Yeah, hours the night we're talking right now.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
I am.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
I'm also going through a breakup. So oh no, it's okay,
it's sorry, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
It's the woman I met. It's a woman I met
the other night at the slipper room.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
No, that was get the funk out of here, that's crazy.
She is my intern. She's a big fan of you.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Were dating her. You that when you walked up. Yeah,
you were all mad awkward when you walked up. So
I was like, oh, she's on a date.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
That young girl, that young beige woman.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yes, I was. I was surprised, but not surprised. And
you were being awkward. So I was like, I was like,
there's something. I was like, she's on a date, and
she goes worried about it.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Because I.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Stuck it up.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
She was a fan, and so.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I, oh, you were being weird, and I was like,
she's that's a first date or something.
Speaker 6 (24:57):
She like loves you, and I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Went, this is what I want to Oh, that's her type.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
I love my good sister, Molly. You know I'm here
for you. But that is that young girl. I don't
see young.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I don't see age. That's how progressive I am.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
No, that's how a straight man you are. What is age?
What is age?
Speaker 4 (25:16):
It's all about energy? No, ma'am, no, sir, No, thank you.
Speaker 6 (25:21):
Not my type. Honey.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
I thought that was your girlfriend or you guys were
starting to date, because you're usually very like, hey, how
are you?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But you were being like awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
You were like you bag you think I would you were.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Being you were being weird.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
There's something in the air.
Speaker 6 (25:34):
I give toe bag energy.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Something in the air that night. I know she has
being awkward. You were being awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
I'm not dating nobody.
Speaker 7 (25:41):
Then you crushed so but I thought that it was
there was something going on. But now and then you
said break up. I was like, Oh, they were breaking up.
That's what that energy was.
Speaker 6 (25:51):
I can't wait to tell her. I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
She hasn't she saw what I saw. That's all I
got to say.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Is that she has a she had.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
I have to show you the picture that she has
as she has, she had on her wall of you.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
It was like that she didn't even act like she knew.
She was like, hey, what's up?
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Because I've already schooled her, like, hey, when you see
somebody you don't know, you're not pressed.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
She could have.
Speaker 6 (26:13):
That's fine, that's what you say.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And then the kids get real comfortable, and then and
your dms like, hey, what's up.
Speaker 6 (26:19):
I'll see no, no, no, no no. We're very professional,
very professional. Thank you, Molly. Okay, not my type, my girl,
wakinda forever?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Okay, Well, there's no judges. I didn't know.
Speaker 7 (26:33):
I was also Jewish okay, like an Asian.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
Eric, I didn't know I was going to have this
much fun.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
This is crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Thank you so much. I can't thank you enough. And
I'm sorry you're going through.
Speaker 7 (26:51):
Some heartaches, so many deaths.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Break up, but I have a faith.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I don't rememormir when it's time to get back to
the drawing board. FX Tepson Breakups by Sydney Washington.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
No, you're Tyler, Remember I should be like so this
guy's Asia in the corner trug shop.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
Oh my god, love Shang. Thank you very much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'll with a redre Hey before you go, I want
to let you know I got a new book out
that I wrote with my friend Dan Curry.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
It is called Dumb Ideas Behind.
Speaker 7 (27:27):
The Scenes expos I'm making pranks and other stupid creative
endeavors and how you can also too. It's out now
and you can get it anywhere you buy books or
audio books. Now, here's a special clip from the audio book,
just for you. Years ago and Eric andre Fan came
up to me on a Brooklyn street. I was getting
ready to film a prank at an auto repair place.
For this specific bit, I was dressed normcore, just a
T shirt and jeans versus being a giant human potato.
(27:47):
For example, hidden camera filmmaking means you have a hitting crew.
So when I'm about to go in the kill zone
and perform a prank, my crew is completely invisible. So
to this fan, I just looked like I was lurking
by my car on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon. Little did
he know, I was waiting for my cameras to get
set and for my first ad to secretly and covertly
cue my entrance. My first AD walked up with a
(28:07):
secret nod. I said bye to the fan, hopped in
my shitty car, rolled up to the mechanics, started chatting
him up, then started bashing the shit out of my
car with a hammer, all while asking how much is
it to fix this boom? How much is it to
fix this smash? What about this bang? The marks were
shocked at what I was doing to my mediocre automobile
(28:29):
mid prank. On my third hammer swing, I accidentally thrusted
my hand through the car window and sliced it to shreds.
I was bleeding everywhere. I knew I needed stitches, but
the adrenaline kept me going. The whole time this prank
was going down, the fan was in the deep background,
jaw dropped shitting bricks. To him, it just looked like
I was doing this crazy anarchic violence in my private life,
talking to him like a mild men or civilian one second,
(28:51):
then going into a psychotic rage at an auto repair
shop a minute later. This guy got to live the
show in real time. To him, I was really that
loco year round, like I fucking lived it, man, I
walked the walk. Little does he know that I am
a total suburban pussy. I meditate journal, drink camemeal tea,
(29:12):
and go to bed at nine thirty pm. I'm definitely
letdown when fans made me. I remember living in Toronto
for a few months filming Man Seeking Woman. I was
getting lunch, waiting online, about to order a bond Me sandwich.
This kid behind me recognized me, Holy shit, your air
co andre ten decimals too loud and it was eleven
thirty am. So I was like waw, not fully with
(29:32):
it yet, craving delicious Vietnamese meats. The fan couldn't process
while I was so boring and doing such a mundane
pedestrian task like buying a sandwich on my Tuesday lunch break.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
He looked at me, confused.
Speaker 7 (29:43):
Perplexed, nonplus a furral brow splashed across his forehead. Then
he just started hitting me like his TV broke bat
bat bat hit me in the arm and the back. Ah,
I fucking hurt. Then he screamed wow wow, an attempt
to get me to warm up. His real life Eric
Andrey Dahl was running out of batteries and needed to
start breaking something in this restaurant quick. I stood there
(30:06):
nervously giggling. The confused Vietnamese women behind the counter were
just like, please pay us twelve bucks. Then my fan
walked away with a frown. As I was writing this
very book you're reading, I just left a coffee shop
in Manhattan as a fan walked by and started hovering
near me, trying to get my attention. As soon as
I looked up, he forced himself to vomit all near
my new blue shoes. I closed my laptop and ran
(30:27):
into an uber. He continued vomiting and said, Eric, I
love you, barf. I've created quite a nice little version
of hell for myself. Back to the Brooklyn guy, he
left before we finished the prank. So he didn't even
see us reveal the cameras or begged for release forms.
I just remember him laughing and rubbing his temples as
he walked away. Random dude, if you're still out there,
keep on believing I'm cuckoo, because the truth is, I'm
(30:49):
way more boring than you could ever imagine. Dance Machine,
get a friend with a prosthetic leg to join a
dance competition, fill his prosthetic leg with blood, have them
dance like a fool, and have the leg fly off
and blood pour out.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Then he should say, shit, I dance too hard.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I'll with Eric Andre.
Speaker 7 (31:10):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Executive produced by.
Speaker 7 (31:16):
Hans Sani and Olivia Aguilar, edited and sound designed by
Andy Harris. Our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. And if
you want to confess to your own bombing moments or
give us a shout out, go rate us five stars
and drop a review on your podcast app of choice
right about your own stories of bombing at life. If
you're on Apple Podcasts, you can also subscribe to Big
Moni Players Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every
(31:38):
episode and listen to all my episodes ad free.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Bye.
What's up, everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Welcome to another edition of Bombing with Eric Andre, the
podcast where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and other
creative people about their worst moments on stage, at life,
really anywhere in this dimension. Today we have my good friend,
comedian Sydney Washington on the podcast, who sat down with
us to talk about how she started a fire at
her childhood home and how to survive a breakup AKAA relationship.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Bomb You know the deal. We publish new episodes every week.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Rate us five stars and check out Big Money Players
Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get exclusive weekly bonus content
plus ad free episodes.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Let's get into it.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Bombing with Aeric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
So you know the premise, Yeah, you have some stories
lined up.
Speaker 4 (00:45):
Oh yeah, of course and a recent too recent bombs.
When I got the email, I was like, bombit. I
don't know nothing about that, and then I.
Speaker 5 (00:52):
Was like, actually, can you tell us what happened.
Speaker 4 (00:54):
I'll start with the one that was like maybe three
months ago. I was in Detroit, was in House of Comedy.
Speaker 5 (01:01):
You were touring or just one off went off.
Speaker 4 (01:04):
I've been hitting up spots, but I haven't like actually
put you know, do the the graphic.
Speaker 6 (01:08):
We're on tour. You know, I didn't do any of that.
Speaker 4 (01:11):
So I'm in Detroit House of Comedy. Meanwhile, it's it's
the home of where my ex lives.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
She is in Detroit, she.
Speaker 1 (01:21):
Moves in the audience.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
No, no, she was actually gonna come see a show. Think
she moved back to Detroit, she bought a house.
Speaker 6 (01:30):
She is y. We're lesbians. Of course, we're still friends.
We're still in a group.
Speaker 4 (01:36):
Chat together with her family, and she has a new
girlfriend and we're all BFFs. It's fine, We're living great.
So I'm there in Detroit. I'm feeling I'm feeling good.
I was like, this is going to be a great weekend. No,
Jill Scott is performing across the streets from House of
Comedy and it is sold out. And then two doors down,
(02:00):
I think Mike Epps, people from wild'n Out, Nick Cannon
are Oh.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
So the audience was spread spread out.
Speaker 4 (02:09):
The whole strip was of important people that was way
more important than me.
Speaker 6 (02:13):
So when I tell you the sales were low, I to.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Hear you say that of equal importance, of.
Speaker 4 (02:19):
Equal importance, yes, But when I tell you, when I
walked into the room, it was not.
Speaker 6 (02:24):
It showed me that. I was like, oh, wow, are
people here?
Speaker 5 (02:28):
So so it was empty.
Speaker 4 (02:29):
It was not empty, but it also was not it
was it was it was. It was probably like twenty
people and it was it's a big, pretty big room.
So the first show was because I did four shows,
So the first show was decent, you know, a small crowd,
but they you know, they fuck with me, so it
(02:49):
was great. The next show, it started pouring raining, pouring raining,
and it took us a while to get people in
and they were like, you might have to call it
and I said, if we call it God's plan, but
they didn't. A group of fifteen older black people come
in and I said, yes, that's who, that's my people.
Speaker 6 (03:10):
He was so good.
Speaker 4 (03:11):
I was like, oh, family's here. But then I was like,
I actually hate my family. Why this is a bad time.
So I start talking about I'm gay. They immediately they
were like absolutely not.
Speaker 6 (03:25):
So then I'm like I'm literally.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
Ten minutes in and I'm like, oh shit, I got
a whole hour. These people really not fucking with So
they're not laughing with me, they're laughing at me, and
now they're yelling at me. They're like, you just haven't
had the right dick yet, that type of that type
of homophobia.
Speaker 6 (03:44):
They were like, God will take care of you like that,
yelling at me, and it's like not.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
It's a small room, so echoing, you're bouncing off and
there's like men, women, cousins, all this, and so I stopped.
Speaker 6 (03:58):
I said, wait a minute, why are y'all here?
Speaker 4 (04:01):
And they always like one of the women, our cousin
told us to come here, and so I was like,
so it's your fault. So then they all start laughing
me because I was like, so it's your fault, cousin,
that everybody hates me because you didn't tell them that
I'm gay. And I was like, so you know what
that means, you're gay? Because they're trying to figure out
why the fuck you want to come see me. So
(04:22):
then they said any and every homophobic thing that you
could possibly say, and the.
Speaker 6 (04:31):
Club no security.
Speaker 5 (04:33):
They could have.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
Rushed me, they could have did a hate crime, thrown
Stacy Adams shoe at me. It could have happened to me.
Nobody stopped them. It was so bad that the young
white girls were like.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
We like your jeans.
Speaker 4 (04:54):
I said, Susan, you're not saying it's not a helpful thing.
Speaker 7 (05:00):
Were they like hostile, like like, were they like middle
school kids?
Speaker 3 (05:06):
Oh?
Speaker 6 (05:06):
No, no, no they were yes. Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:09):
There was one guy that I had asked him a question.
He's like, I'm not listening to you, and then they
all laughed. It felt like cafeteria, right, but for people
who are almost in a nursing home. So it was
I had never and and then again I'm waiting. I
was like, this would be a perfect time for my
(05:29):
ex to just roll up, roll up with her girlfriend
to come and see this and be like, yes, I'm
in a better place. This is why we broke up,
you know what I mean, and the whole and they
would interact with me. They would laugh when I would
speak to them because they thought that was funny. But
they would not leave. They would not leave, and I
needed money, so I'll tell I'll take the homophobia for
(05:51):
a check. And I was like, well, I'm not going
back out. I did a whole hour. I did the
whole hour. I tried to I tried to buy some
of them shots. They didn't want my gay shots. They
didn't want nothing. The women I tried to like. At
the end, I was like, thank you so much for staying.
They wanted no parts of me. They thought I was
(06:13):
There was one guy that was like talking to me,
but he was thinking, like, you're not really gay, and
it's like, Sir, my strap is in my person.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I've done the research.
Speaker 4 (06:26):
I'm definitely a homosexual. Yeah, but it was it was
scary because I was like, anything can happen. But also
it was like, disappointing black people is a different type
of disapplins. You feel like you let down your ancestors.
You're like, Sojourner Truth is rolling over in her grave.
(06:49):
Harriet Tubman did not free slaves for this, for this,
for me to bomb in Detroit at the House of Comedy.
Speaker 6 (06:57):
And so that was the first night.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
So then the next day I tell my agent, I'm like,
I'm in turmoil. I'm just like i gotta leave. I
gotta get on the next flight out of here. And
she's like, Okay, I'm gonna talk to them. You don't
have to do tonight. And I said, oh no, I'm
gonna need that money. I'm gonna need to go in
to back. I said, I'm gonna go back't I needed
(07:21):
the back And it wasn't even a bag It wasn't
even a bad and they were like, this is so
funny because the girl, the girl who was here last week,
it was a snowstorm, so we had to cancel one
of her shows. And then the next day, like fifteen
people showed up. It was embtazine. I said, so, y'all
hate women, as a house of comedy hates women, so
it's not just me.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
This house of comedy a big Detroit.
Speaker 6 (07:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, No show I did on my tour in North
America was Detroit.
Speaker 6 (07:48):
Oh, I believe it. Audience.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Philly and Detroit were tough.
Speaker 3 (07:53):
No.
Speaker 6 (07:53):
I love Philly, Philly love me down, but it was.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Philly was tough.
Speaker 7 (07:56):
I might have just been off, but Detroit was tough.
They don't when.
Speaker 6 (08:01):
I tell you, they did not leave. It was like
you hate me. Leave.
Speaker 4 (08:03):
They were said no, no, no, I pay my money. I'm
gonna make you uncomfortable. And I looked in their eyes
and they were like, no, we're staying until you dropped
the mic. I think they wanted to bully me into stopping.
And I said, oh, I'm doing my whole hour, I'm
talking to you, we're doing and they were like.
Speaker 6 (08:22):
One woman walked out, she's like, I'm gonna pray for you.
Speaker 4 (08:24):
I really am. I really am gonna pray. And I said, man,
all right. But the next day I did two shows
and they were great. I talked to the people on
the top. I said, no, we're not doing what we
did last night. I don't know if you were here
last night, I'm sure you weren't, but I am gay.
Speaker 6 (08:40):
We're starting up top. I am gay.
Speaker 4 (08:41):
If you do not like gays or blacks or women,
get the fuck out. And they all clapped and they're horses.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
I'm not doing this for y'all.
Speaker 4 (08:53):
And I said, I'm putting my phone on live so
anything happened, I'm going viral. I'm going viral and you're
seeing your face and you won't be able to go
to your post office after this. I would ruin your
supermarket experience if you fuck with me. And they got
it together and they were happy.
Speaker 1 (09:09):
All the time.
Speaker 6 (09:10):
I didn't want to do that.
Speaker 5 (09:12):
I was like, you don't want to have to do that.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
You have to do that.
Speaker 6 (09:16):
You paid to have a good time. Why AnyWho?
Speaker 4 (09:19):
So that bomb it shook me to my core. I said, oh,
I need to go work at the DMV. This is
not for me.
Speaker 6 (09:26):
I'm not I'm not a comedian. I'm back.
Speaker 5 (09:29):
I'm bad.
Speaker 4 (09:30):
And someone messaged me and they were like, you handled
it so well and even if you were not doing well,
I was going to stay the whole show. I said,
all right, since that didn't help. That didn't help me.
You're letting me know.
Speaker 6 (09:46):
So it was bad, but you handled it quite well.
Grace I had grace.
Speaker 4 (09:53):
So yeah, that one, I was like, I don't think
I'll ever be back to Detroit. I think I'm good
on Detroit.
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I did. They are live in Detroit one time and
there was.
Speaker 4 (10:02):
Like a fight, a fist fight on it feels like
Eric and yeah, it's fine actually that actually prayers are
on stage. Yeah, someone throwing them bos with Eric Andre
in the background that I would love.
Speaker 6 (10:15):
To see the graphic for that. Did you videotape it?
Speaker 1 (10:19):
No, this is early tour. It was fucking it was crazy.
Speaker 6 (10:23):
Yeah, it was crazy.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
It was crazy. They like escalated quickly.
Speaker 4 (10:26):
I mean, it happens because you just you just don't
expect such foolishness.
Speaker 7 (10:30):
It was a white kid on stage that said something
to a black guy in the audience and like it
wasn't the guy didn't the white kid didn't say anything racist,
but I think he was trying to be like ironic
and like be funny too, And the guy was like,
are you talking about me? Thank you and jumped on
stage detroying.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
In the middle of an interview.
Speaker 4 (10:54):
And Byron is the funniest to for that to happen
because his facial expressions, he might even egg some shit on.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yeah, oh yeah, yeah. He didn't help.
Speaker 6 (11:03):
Yeah, no, no, he was like, no, I love this. He
lives for this. Yet He's like, why would we stop this?
This is good? Yeah?
Speaker 4 (11:13):
So yeah, that that one. You need a good bomb
to shake you and then make you be like, I
gotta go back to the drawing board, I gotta write again.
I gotta, you know, delete my ex's number.
Speaker 6 (11:23):
Stuff like that.
Speaker 3 (11:27):
With Aricodrey.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
With Aricodrey, what is the worst bomb You've ever seen?
And what's the most wasted you've been on stage?
Speaker 4 (11:44):
The most wasted I've gotten. I was doing a show
with my best friend Mariray Foston. She's so funny, she's
the best. It was called the warm Up and it
was at Carme Lounge, which is hookah bar, and it
was like our first show and I'm about like faux
five patron shots in and it's packed.
Speaker 6 (12:05):
There's smoke, hot people, people are in the Christian Nubians
and it's a good time. The show is great.
Speaker 4 (12:11):
Our headliner or important person she wan incredible. This is
when Shangway had short hair.
Speaker 5 (12:19):
Yah early so cool.
Speaker 6 (12:21):
He's so cool.
Speaker 5 (12:22):
I'd even recognize him the second time I saw him.
Speaker 4 (12:24):
Yeah, so cool me when I tell you, it was
the worst intro I've ever could have possibly given anybody.
Speaker 6 (12:35):
And I was like, and he's Asian. No slur, yeah,
slur stop Asian.
Speaker 4 (12:43):
Hang It was there was literally no reason and I
had just started. I was like, new to comedy anyway.
And so he gets up and he's like.
Speaker 6 (12:53):
Okay, like he handled it well.
Speaker 4 (12:57):
And then we passed the tip bucket and we I'm
they was throwing tons of money in the bucket. We
pay him one hundred dollars. He was not expecting to
get no money from this bum as show. And he
was like, yeah, have me back. He would take attle,
He'll take.
Speaker 6 (13:11):
A little foolish intro for one hundred.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (13:15):
I liked. I like message him and I said, I'm
so sorry, this is fucked up, but.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
Awful.
Speaker 6 (13:24):
In the room was like when.
Speaker 7 (13:26):
Comedians went all right, next guys, we got a lady
coming in the stage, and the audience is like, I
wouldn't feel weird about that, but now I do, so
now she has to dig herself out of a hole.
Speaker 3 (13:39):
I have a booger.
Speaker 6 (13:41):
I see, I see, I see the booger. It's coming out.
It's like I would like to be a special guest.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
That looks like a pink guy.
Speaker 6 (13:48):
Yeah, you're it's coming. It's coming. Well, you have nice
hands and you have good nail beds. Me hitting on
Eric Andre in the.
Speaker 3 (14:00):
People.
Speaker 6 (14:05):
Ladies, You guys don't know what a lot of things are,
and you love it.
Speaker 3 (14:09):
I don't know if I love it.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
So sick of the anxiety, it's it's hard. I was,
I can't take it anymore.
Speaker 4 (14:16):
I think it actually is the reason why I'm.
Speaker 6 (14:19):
Not further along in my career.
Speaker 4 (14:20):
The anxiety, anxiety and self sabotage and the like.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
It's just too much going on. It's like when you.
Speaker 5 (14:26):
I think, I think every single comedian has anxiety and depression.
Speaker 7 (14:31):
What is the name name one comedian that doesn't have name,
one successful comedian that isn't riddled with anxiety or depression.
Speaker 1 (14:38):
Any writer, name a single writer.
Speaker 6 (14:40):
It's crazy. I was just on a floorer. Michelle Buteau.
I feel like.
Speaker 7 (14:43):
Michelle has horrendous anxiety.
Speaker 6 (14:47):
Even if she does, I can't.
Speaker 1 (14:49):
Tell say that as one of her best.
Speaker 6 (14:51):
Friends, I can't tell she.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Like because we learn, we learn how to mask.
Speaker 4 (14:55):
She's always loving light and like every show I've been
on with her and I even just hanging out, I'm like,
she's just incredible.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
She's she's pretty bad anxiety.
Speaker 6 (15:05):
Damn yeah, I.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Mean, it's part of your brain. It's fine. It's like
every living creature has anxiety.
Speaker 4 (15:11):
Being on the prescription fucking help tremendously. But I didn't
have anxiety until I got sober. Didn't know that.
Speaker 6 (15:18):
I was probably masking it, because do.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
You haven't when you were a little kid.
Speaker 6 (15:23):
No, But I also was pretty odd as a little kid.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
Yeah, we sense.
Speaker 5 (15:27):
I didn't have no you Ja's witness.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
I was not Jehovah's witness. Stop it. I was not
knocking on.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I didn't have any birthday parties.
Speaker 6 (15:36):
I had a few, but they weren't big on that.
It wasn't there to think, really, that's a Baptist Methodist thing.
I don't know it was just like old school, like
we've been through it all. We don't need all of this.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
Like all you need is like shelter, clothes on your back,
food in your mouth.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
What do you the salt of the earth?
Speaker 6 (15:54):
What do you need? Disney World is your.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Aunt and uncle saying this.
Speaker 5 (15:57):
Yeah, I got to meet them.
Speaker 6 (15:59):
They're gone, They're in a better place.
Speaker 3 (16:01):
I'm sorry to hear that.
Speaker 6 (16:02):
The year so long ago, Okay.
Speaker 4 (16:04):
So long they actually they passed away while I was
when I was waitressing and old.
Speaker 6 (16:13):
I think like twenty eight twenty nine.
Speaker 4 (16:15):
My uncle, my great uncle, my uncle papa, he passed.
Speaker 6 (16:21):
He passed right after college. So I was like, I.
Speaker 4 (16:23):
Don't know, like twenty twenty two, twenty one or something
like that. But I got my job as a as
a waitress or whatever, and I was making a lot
of money. And me and my mom had like had
a big falling out because I didn't finish college. So
I go to his funeral and my mother is trying
to embarrass me at his funeral, and I owed her
(16:43):
like eight hundred dollars because of a singular remember singular.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
The young what's the difference?
Speaker 4 (16:49):
No, she had me when she was like in her thirties,
like thirty. Oh yeah, but she was trying to embarrass
me at the funeral, and so I pulled out eight
hundred dollars, like I made it rain at the funeral,
and I was like, bitch, here's your money.
Speaker 6 (17:04):
And honestly, it was highlight of my life.
Speaker 4 (17:08):
But then we almost fought at hometown buffet, so yeah,
it was.
Speaker 6 (17:13):
It was very detroit of us. Well, she's also in
a better place now.
Speaker 1 (17:17):
But oh my god, I'm fuck, it's striking out.
Speaker 6 (17:19):
I'm sorry. No, it's okay. I'm a morbid person. So
this is another this is no, no, no, this is good.
I love it. The kid asked me about another problem.
Speaker 4 (17:32):
All my exes did, yeah, but yeah, we didn't have
like birthday parties or whatever. So like now, growing up,
it's a bigger thing to like celebrate a birthday because
we can. I think they also didn't. They couldn't spend
too much money on birthdays, so it wasn't a big
deal for them. But now it's like as an adult, it's.
Speaker 6 (17:51):
Like, yeah, let's get the cake. That's like two hundred dollars,
let's go.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
You think you're ever gonna settle down and have kids
and stuff.
Speaker 6 (17:57):
Not having kids.
Speaker 5 (17:58):
I don't do it, want to do it.
Speaker 4 (18:00):
No, I think and correct me if I'm wrong. Too
many fucked up people are having kids.
Speaker 5 (18:07):
That is correct, too many.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
But I don't think.
Speaker 6 (18:09):
I think you're not a person genetically.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
You don't want to pass it down. I think about that.
I don't want to give this to anything.
Speaker 6 (18:20):
I don't care.
Speaker 4 (18:20):
And a lot of people be like, I want to say,
I want to make a little me, because yeah, you
might look the part, but inside you are absolute staten
island garbage.
Speaker 6 (18:31):
You should not you should.
Speaker 4 (18:32):
Be nowhere near sperm and eggs to make anything.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
But doesn't it deepen your experience on this earth?
Speaker 6 (18:42):
What?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Having kids?
Speaker 3 (18:43):
Raising kids? Are you supposed to do it?
Speaker 4 (18:46):
The more and more I get older, the more and
more I'm like, yo, there's so many lost souls out
here because somebody was like, I think I should have
a family, and I got a legacy. You can't even
read out loud, what is your legacy? No, no, no, no, no, no,
no no no. I don't I think the people who
and I have friends who have kids, and I'm like,
(19:08):
oh my god, yes, you were supposed to have kids.
And then there's other people that. I'm like, absolutely not,
no way, you should be far away. Your dick should
be away from No, take it off. You shouldn't be
using it.
Speaker 6 (19:22):
You should your sperm.
Speaker 4 (19:23):
Suck it out, get it b secon me take it No,
no good. You know who's really good with that? Like
I see him with his Linston Lnston Kerman with his
When I see it him and his wife, I'm like, yes,
you guys, Michelle Bijoe with her kids and her husband,
I'm like yes. And it's some of it is just
(19:46):
like you know, just access people preparing like not just
having babies on a whib or whatever.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
But and then I.
Speaker 4 (19:53):
Meet people who I'm like, they are good people, but
they jeans.
Speaker 6 (19:58):
So I shook up. Yeah, they put somebody did the
eight ball and just.
Speaker 1 (20:02):
You could adopt. You could adopt.
Speaker 4 (20:05):
Nah, if I'm adopting, they gotta be twenty five. I'm
adopting a friend. That's all I'm doing. I want somebody growing,
were going out, you're paying for your food. You already
on the way to being successful. And then I could
just clip on it. But like, this is my baby,
Like I don't.
Speaker 3 (20:21):
Know, with a recondre. With a recdre, I was a
demon child. You.
Speaker 5 (20:40):
I was a demon me too.
Speaker 6 (20:42):
I've burned my I burn my house down. What what
do you mean by accident like that?
Speaker 1 (20:48):
I just like I just like Ninja Turtle Cereal.
Speaker 6 (20:49):
It was wow.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Tell us, let's go out on this. This is the
grand finale everything. I'm not gonna use the rest of
the podcast.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
No, no, I have my gym. It burned out of
the accident.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
I'm not saying but you are an narcissist.
Speaker 6 (21:10):
I'm gonna say, it's actually.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
What happened.
Speaker 6 (21:14):
The thing is, is.
Speaker 4 (21:15):
That, right, Like, that's what I'm talking about when you
when you have kids and you're not like my aunt
and uncles did the best.
Speaker 6 (21:22):
That they could, right, But candle or something, I wish
it was that.
Speaker 5 (21:27):
What were you doing?
Speaker 1 (21:27):
You're playing with gasoline in the house.
Speaker 4 (21:29):
No, I like lit like a cigar, plastic cigar and plastics.
I don't know if people know, but when you when
plastic is on fire, it melts.
Speaker 6 (21:39):
I did not know that as a kid.
Speaker 4 (21:41):
So it it went into a like a bag of
newspapers because they were hoarders. There was just like like
papers from the from the Reagan era, like like the
jet magazines everywhere like old heirlooms like chot Sky stuff
that a.
Speaker 1 (21:58):
Fire waiting to happen.
Speaker 6 (21:59):
Yeah, yeah, I did great in sixth grade.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
Yes, yep, that's what happened. And I was so down.
Not it was most half of it, half of it.
Speaker 3 (22:13):
That's so.
Speaker 1 (22:13):
It was a massifire.
Speaker 6 (22:15):
It was pretty bad. Where were the news king?
Speaker 3 (22:17):
Oh fuck, are you serious?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
So your first credit coming to the stage.
Speaker 6 (22:25):
Yeah, truly, truly.
Speaker 3 (22:27):
It was.
Speaker 4 (22:29):
Comedian arsonists. I'm gonna put that in my bio now.
Somebody could have died for sure, and they didn't.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Where were they?
Speaker 6 (22:36):
They were in the back.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
Of that wild You have a wild life?
Speaker 6 (22:41):
I mean the fact that I and this is a problem.
Speaker 7 (22:44):
I had tol and set it off and you're like
that normal I was.
Speaker 6 (22:48):
Before waiting to extale that bitch learned from me.
Speaker 4 (22:52):
Okay, eighties trash I started.
Speaker 5 (22:56):
You have a fucking wild life?
Speaker 4 (22:58):
Yeah, it was wild. It's crazy that I divulge all
this for free.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
Do you talk about all this on stage?
Speaker 4 (23:04):
I have a solo show called how to Start a Fire,
and it's all these childhood stories and then the fire.
Speaker 5 (23:11):
Wild life.
Speaker 6 (23:12):
I do, I do, I admit that, but I think
like it's cool yeah, I think this is cool to
talk about. Do I think I need to have a kid? No,
I have experience for a book, for a show, for
a show. I stand in solidarity TV SAG.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
Yeah yeah wa forever.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
But but I do have like entertainment purposes. But within
you're like, damn bitch, you've been through some shiit.
Speaker 1 (23:43):
Like you you've lived a thousand lives so many? Do
you have your own show?
Speaker 6 (23:47):
Do I have my own show?
Speaker 5 (23:48):
What you mean you need a TV show?
Speaker 6 (23:50):
Presents? Eric Andre?
Speaker 7 (23:51):
Sure, Whatever'll the wacky next door anytime.
Speaker 1 (23:56):
I'll be the super in the building.
Speaker 6 (23:57):
Honestly, there's something for you. There's so many things that
you can be in.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I'll be one of the guys that you burned the
house down of.
Speaker 6 (24:06):
No, No, how's your sleep?
Speaker 5 (24:08):
That's the last question, you know, I think?
Speaker 6 (24:12):
Right now?
Speaker 5 (24:12):
Yeah, hours the night we're talking right now.
Speaker 6 (24:15):
I am.
Speaker 4 (24:17):
I'm also going through a breakup. So oh no, it's okay,
it's sorry, it's fine.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
It's the woman I met. It's a woman I met
the other night at the slipper room.
Speaker 4 (24:25):
No, that was get the funk out of here, that's crazy.
She is my intern. She's a big fan of you.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Were dating her. You that when you walked up. Yeah,
you were all mad awkward when you walked up. So
I was like, oh, she's on a date.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
That young girl, that young beige woman.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Yes, I was. I was surprised, but not surprised. And
you were being awkward. So I was like, I was like,
there's something. I was like, she's on a date, and
she goes worried about it.
Speaker 6 (24:50):
Because I.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
Stuck it up.
Speaker 6 (24:53):
She was a fan, and so.
Speaker 1 (24:54):
I, oh, you were being weird, and I was like,
she's that's a first date or something.
Speaker 6 (24:57):
She like loves you, and I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Went, this is what I want to Oh, that's her type.
Speaker 6 (25:02):
I love my good sister, Molly. You know I'm here
for you. But that is that young girl. I don't
see young.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
I don't see age. That's how progressive I am.
Speaker 6 (25:10):
No, that's how a straight man you are. What is age?
What is age?
Speaker 4 (25:16):
It's all about energy? No, ma'am, no, sir, No, thank you.
Speaker 6 (25:21):
Not my type. Honey.
Speaker 7 (25:22):
I thought that was your girlfriend or you guys were
starting to date, because you're usually very like, hey, how
are you?
Speaker 1 (25:28):
But you were being like awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:29):
You were like you bag you think I would you were.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Being you were being weird.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
There's something in the air.
Speaker 6 (25:34):
I give toe bag energy.
Speaker 1 (25:36):
Something in the air that night. I know she has
being awkward. You were being awkward.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
I'm not dating nobody.
Speaker 7 (25:41):
Then you crushed so but I thought that it was
there was something going on. But now and then you
said break up. I was like, Oh, they were breaking up.
That's what that energy was.
Speaker 6 (25:51):
I can't wait to tell her. I can't wait.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
She hasn't she saw what I saw. That's all I
got to say.
Speaker 6 (25:57):
Is that she has a she had.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
I have to show you the picture that she has
as she has, she had on her wall of you.
Speaker 1 (26:03):
It was like that she didn't even act like she knew.
She was like, hey, what's up?
Speaker 4 (26:05):
Because I've already schooled her, like, hey, when you see
somebody you don't know, you're not pressed.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
She could have.
Speaker 6 (26:13):
That's fine, that's what you say.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
And then the kids get real comfortable, and then and
your dms like, hey, what's up.
Speaker 6 (26:19):
I'll see no, no, no, no no. We're very professional,
very professional. Thank you, Molly. Okay, not my type, my girl,
wakinda forever?
Speaker 1 (26:28):
Okay, Well, there's no judges. I didn't know.
Speaker 7 (26:33):
I was also Jewish okay, like an Asian.
Speaker 5 (26:43):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (26:43):
Eric, I didn't know I was going to have this
much fun.
Speaker 5 (26:45):
This is crazy.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Thank you so much. I can't thank you enough. And
I'm sorry you're going through.
Speaker 7 (26:51):
Some heartaches, so many deaths.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Break up, but I have a faith.
Speaker 4 (26:55):
I don't rememormir when it's time to get back to
the drawing board. FX Tepson Breakups by Sydney Washington.
Speaker 7 (27:05):
No, you're Tyler, Remember I should be like so this
guy's Asia in the corner trug shop.
Speaker 6 (27:11):
Oh my god, love Shang. Thank you very much, thank you.
Speaker 2 (27:17):
I'll with a redre Hey before you go, I want
to let you know I got a new book out
that I wrote with my friend Dan Curry.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
It is called Dumb Ideas Behind.
Speaker 7 (27:27):
The Scenes expos I'm making pranks and other stupid creative
endeavors and how you can also too. It's out now
and you can get it anywhere you buy books or
audio books. Now, here's a special clip from the audio book,
just for you. Years ago and Eric andre Fan came
up to me on a Brooklyn street. I was getting
ready to film a prank at an auto repair place.
For this specific bit, I was dressed normcore, just a
T shirt and jeans versus being a giant human potato.
(27:47):
For example, hidden camera filmmaking means you have a hitting crew.
So when I'm about to go in the kill zone
and perform a prank, my crew is completely invisible. So
to this fan, I just looked like I was lurking
by my car on a beautiful Tuesday afternoon. Little did
he know, I was waiting for my cameras to get
set and for my first ad to secretly and covertly
cue my entrance. My first AD walked up with a
(28:07):
secret nod. I said bye to the fan, hopped in
my shitty car, rolled up to the mechanics, started chatting
him up, then started bashing the shit out of my
car with a hammer, all while asking how much is
it to fix this boom? How much is it to
fix this smash? What about this bang? The marks were
shocked at what I was doing to my mediocre automobile
(28:29):
mid prank. On my third hammer swing, I accidentally thrusted
my hand through the car window and sliced it to shreds.
I was bleeding everywhere. I knew I needed stitches, but
the adrenaline kept me going. The whole time this prank
was going down, the fan was in the deep background,
jaw dropped shitting bricks. To him, it just looked like
I was doing this crazy anarchic violence in my private life,
talking to him like a mild men or civilian one second,
(28:51):
then going into a psychotic rage at an auto repair
shop a minute later. This guy got to live the
show in real time. To him, I was really that
loco year round, like I fucking lived it, man, I
walked the walk. Little does he know that I am
a total suburban pussy. I meditate journal, drink camemeal tea,
(29:12):
and go to bed at nine thirty pm. I'm definitely
letdown when fans made me. I remember living in Toronto
for a few months filming Man Seeking Woman. I was
getting lunch, waiting online, about to order a bond Me sandwich.
This kid behind me recognized me, Holy shit, your air
co andre ten decimals too loud and it was eleven
thirty am. So I was like waw, not fully with
(29:32):
it yet, craving delicious Vietnamese meats. The fan couldn't process
while I was so boring and doing such a mundane
pedestrian task like buying a sandwich on my Tuesday lunch break.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
He looked at me, confused.
Speaker 7 (29:43):
Perplexed, nonplus a furral brow splashed across his forehead. Then
he just started hitting me like his TV broke bat
bat bat hit me in the arm and the back. Ah,
I fucking hurt. Then he screamed wow wow, an attempt
to get me to warm up. His real life Eric
Andrey Dahl was running out of batteries and needed to
start breaking something in this restaurant quick. I stood there
(30:06):
nervously giggling. The confused Vietnamese women behind the counter were
just like, please pay us twelve bucks. Then my fan
walked away with a frown. As I was writing this
very book you're reading, I just left a coffee shop
in Manhattan as a fan walked by and started hovering
near me, trying to get my attention. As soon as
I looked up, he forced himself to vomit all near
my new blue shoes. I closed my laptop and ran
(30:27):
into an uber. He continued vomiting and said, Eric, I
love you, barf. I've created quite a nice little version
of hell for myself. Back to the Brooklyn guy, he
left before we finished the prank. So he didn't even
see us reveal the cameras or begged for release forms.
I just remember him laughing and rubbing his temples as
he walked away. Random dude, if you're still out there,
keep on believing I'm cuckoo, because the truth is, I'm
(30:49):
way more boring than you could ever imagine. Dance Machine,
get a friend with a prosthetic leg to join a
dance competition, fill his prosthetic leg with blood, have them
dance like a fool, and have the leg fly off
and blood pour out.
Speaker 1 (31:03):
Then he should say, shit, I dance too hard.
Speaker 3 (31:07):
I'll with Eric Andre.
Speaker 7 (31:10):
Bombing with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1 (31:15):
Executive produced by.
Speaker 7 (31:16):
Hans Sani and Olivia Aguilar, edited and sound designed by
Andy Harris. Our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. And if
you want to confess to your own bombing moments or
give us a shout out, go rate us five stars
and drop a review on your podcast app of choice
right about your own stories of bombing at life. If
you're on Apple Podcasts, you can also subscribe to Big
Moni Players Diamond to get exclusive bonus content with every
(31:38):
episode and listen to all my episodes ad free.
Speaker 5 (31:42):
Bye.
Host
Eric Andre
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