April 16, 2025 • 44 mins
This week Eric and Nick sit down with comedian Jon Daly - not the golfer, ya dingus! Jon dives in talking about his early bombing and what it really means to do "karate." Theatre woes and imagining an 8th grade class doing a Blaxploitation play or an all white production of Roots. Plus the stories of when Jon Daly arrived late to a table read in front of A-list celebrities and the time he did acid before a show just to spice up things a bit.
Follow Jon Daly at @jondalygram and catch him at a city near you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What's up as Eric Andre and This is Bombing, the
podcast where I talk to comedians, artists, and other interesting
people about the worst bombs of their career. On today's episode,
we have comedian, writer and musician John Daily. John and
I talk about using karate to stop a bully, taking
my mom to sleep no More, and Surprise Surprise drugs.
Also other stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Enjoy bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You know him from being John Daly, John Daly, everybody, comedian.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Friends, thanks for having us me And uh, it's great,
this is great. I love it. I love I love you,
I love your dog and I love you.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yeah, I'm like a weird second pet of Eric. I
think I'm kind of this guy on the show. We
haven't really defined it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We just met this morning.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I parked his car right.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Well, relationships people are pets and they don't even know it.
So it's good that you know. That's good that Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You think Americas it okay.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I was looking at the news today and it's on
the up.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I think it's on the we're going back up.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
I'm just excited about the new States we're gonna get.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, I'm just I'm just psyched that I would switched
to Russia because like, I'd rather hang in Moscow, you know,
just a good place. It's a really high level place
and it's a lot played with a lot of art.
Like I never wanted to go to Paris anywhere. Give
me Moscow, give.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Me like Curesk or whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Ship I've never seen you don't think you're going to see,
and then you see it and you're like.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Wow, Okay, so this is a podcast about bombing real.
What's the worst show you've ever done? What's the worst
gig you were at? Yeah, we're just tell us the
fucking all the failures child as you. Have you ever
been booed off stage? Anyone ever throwing? Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah I got to Stone before you got on stage.
And you're like, I'm way too Stone, And.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, I've definitely done that. I have gone out on
stage on acid and really, like you know, you think
it's going to go well, and it just is like
people are just like worried about you. That I was
thinking because it was like the improv marathon at uc B,
and I was like, I've done this on mushrooms. Why
can't I up the fucking annie and start doing this
(02:14):
on acid? And just acid's too deep. Man, It's like
it was like penetrating my soul and so I couldn't
do anything. But uh, I just bombed really hard about
two weeks ago doing stand up at uc B, which
I uh built that build that place in my bare hands,
(02:34):
and uh all yeah good, I'm a poc Alley.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And it was just a random show.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It was like people doing sketch, people doing like, you know,
really sketchy sketch, comedy stuff, musical stuff, like the kind
of stuff you don't want to go as stand up
up necessarily at and I went. It was a variety show.
It was not for charity. It was just kind of
a one off.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Pretty selfish then, pretty selfish of me to do it. Yeah, no, fires,
I actually I actually live to eating fire ten minutes
after the show. Okay, so you do show was like that?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay, yeah, no, I started it man, Yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Did you listen to a Prodigy fire starter as you're
doing it? That would be I did. I was just
in a throwback moment.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But it was interesting.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Because I try to tell the fire department.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah, because I know you do transcendental meditation, or maybe
not transcendental, but some sort of meditation. So this was
a time when I was like, I'm bombing and I
know it, and I am just usually like the people
pleaser performer in me is like how can I get
these guys back?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And it was just a thing where I just started.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Going, oh, this is really fascinating, just out loud, and
like Grace Freud and a couple of people I knew
were in the in the green room and they were
laughing because they were like the I was just on
the TV back there, like comics bombing and comics there's
nothing funnier to comics when people bomb. And I was
just like, I'm sure people are enjoying it. It sounds
like people are enjoying and it was just silence I
(04:07):
couldn't get. It was just aggressive, like get off.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
The stage and it really trying new material or we
just no. That was the thing.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
It was.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You were in between a like a acoustic folk singer
and like a juggler exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It was just but also like could have done well usually,
And I was thinking about bombing in general, like when
I've bombed, it's usually because I'm in a good place
and I want to try something new, and it's not
because I'm like, oh, I was so depressed. I've definitely
like probably bombed because I was like depressed or something
like that. But usually it's like I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I'm gonna ask out girl.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
That level. This was a time when I really did go,
oh I'm bombing. I can't win, you know what, fuck you,
and I just started going this is really fat and
I just kind of did that for like about the
last four minutes. But Transcendental Meditation. I feel like meditating
everyday got me to the place where I was like,
you know what, it's not gonna go anywhere. This is
just just enjoy it. See if you can play with
(05:07):
the tension a little bit, but like, I'm not gonna
be like but in that show, I was like I
had a great attitude.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I was like, fuck this, I'm the best, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And then it was like nothing, nothing, Oh, okay, you're
gonna take me down a couple of notches. That's fine,
fuck you. It was just interesting to stop in the
middle of it and be like I am bombing rather
than oh geez, and then you're driving home going like, well,
I think I'm going back a little bit or whatever,
like fuck that.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Just enjoy it, you know.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, and can you get me booked on that show?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah you can't.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Yeah, it's but I know you only do fire fire
Tragedy staff. But and then I I bombed. I I
was thinking like of the bomb feeling based on that show,
like I've bombed socially a.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Lot, like every give.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I think the first time where I was like I
am being humiliated in front of a lot of kids
was like I went to a new I went to
a new school, and the first time it like really
sticks in my memory.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
He's like, I went to a new school.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I was in third grade, and I because I was
in a new school, like I was pretty down with
the you know, like mentally handicapped kids because they are
like super nice to me. I was just like I
was like, well, I go, this guy's fucking dapping me up.
I guess friend in life, this guy that thinks it's
hilarious that my name is John and his name is John. Okay,
that's our relationship. And he was, you know, uh, quite
(06:32):
mentally impaired. And but he would see me every day
and go John, and I'd be like John and be like, hey,
what's up or whatever?
Speaker 4 (06:41):
I was probably eight or nine, and this is John
Hammer talking about. This is John John Ham was.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Probably dead now, unfortunately, but uh, but a kid was
picking on this kid, Matt Frederick. This like honky asshole,
like hunky in Pittsburgh means like you're trying, and uh,
He's like, man, man, and he started pushing this kid around.
I was like, hey man, because I'm a hero, I
was like, hey man, that's you know, let's let's not
(07:08):
do that. That's the other John. And he kicked me
in a totally non karate style and I fell down
and there were like eight kids watching at this point.
I fell down and he before I could get up
and like hit back, he goes karate move. I was like,
in front of all these kids, everyone's laughing at me.
(07:29):
I'm dirty for defending this innocent kid. And my comeback
was this. I went people who know karate don't say
karate move when they do karate.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Was you're a comedian.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I was like indignant.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I was like, people, people don't say that if you
really know karate, you don't like sand karate.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
From the ground.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
But I was trying to like get back again.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It just that was it. I think I got.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
I mean, you're right, you're right. People who say karate nerm,
they don't do that.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, they don't go karate ti. I don't announce it
like that.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Karate moved.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Karate move time is not a lot about like projecting
what you're about to do. I think it's a lot
of like being faster than the opponent.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think it's about yeah, beating them up in really
super efficient way.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah, and just yelling out it's karate moved.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I remember like being at this bar McManus. It was
like the UCB bar, and there was a celebrity who
I won't say it was there. I was like twenty
three and there was this beautiful woman there and she
just happened to be like at my table and I
was talking to her, was making her laugh.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
She's making you ever like.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Getting along so well? And I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna shoot my shot. I'm fucking drunk enough to
do this or whatever. And here's what I did. I went, Hey,
I think we'd really like get along. I don't know
why I asked her out like that sounds. I think
we'd really is a fine way to ask her. I
think we'd like really get along and I was and
(09:02):
she was like, oh, oh okay, And I was like, yeah,
don't you think we get along?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Like you know, we should hang out. And she stood
up and just walked away.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's not that great a story, but I'll tell you
who it is.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That is John Ham. That was John. It was Don
de Luiseise, it.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Was that was Don de Luise, And ladies and gentlemen,
that was Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That woman the next day, Wait, who is this lucky
lady that rejected you?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
We can't talk about her name right.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
She's on luck.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I'll let you know because I'm still friends with her.
I'll let you know afterwards.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I feel like, well you can you can say it
now and then we can bleep it right.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Oh yeah, so then you can have an opinion, you guys.
It seems like I should trust you guys what I did.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Just say it?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
No, I think I think give.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Us a little clue. Well, I don't have to say it,
will give you a clue, give us a little clue,
all right, all right, yeah, all right, love Borat. It
was Geena Davis.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Geena Davis, the archer. You know, she's a professional arts Eneway.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
We disrailed it Lake Bell. No didn't know.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
No, wait wait wait wait it really an actress? Wait
but can I can I because I don't think the
name matters. But this was a I thought it was
a celebrity guy who had a celebrity girl, and you
were like, I'm gonna swoop in and take the celebrity
girl away.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I wasn't like trying to steal anyone's girl.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
You were just trying to be charming.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I was just like, well, it was working. I was like,
this is clearly working. And then I realized the guy. No,
she was not with a guy. She was just she
was with a friend from very much a friend like drama. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
It was just it was a celebrity that you are
now friends with, and at the time you were hitting.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
On and it was working.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I was like, like I said, we're clearly getting along.
I was like, I think we'd really get along. And
this was the time I was waiting tables. I was like, broke,
you know.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
You're on acid or like UCB theater.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, they're all yeah, you could just be like you.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Can say that, Yeah, I could have.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I don't think it's a bad hit.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
No.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I I was pretty proud of myself. Like I think
I never regret like bombing, because that means you did
it and you failed. But what I do regret is
like going like, oh man, I should ask this girl out,
you know what.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
It's not the right to or whatever.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Oh great, now she's married to Barack.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Was it, Michelle Obama?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
You were hitting us?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It was something for a long time future president, Michelle Obam. Ah,
how about you? Did you ever bomb?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Never? Never?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I'm yeah, yeah, we always bomb.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
We're bombing now. This is bad.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
These people who work here are just like they're putting
in applications at new jobs.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Don't work here. This is we work and I share
the space.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah I did bomb. I did the high school play
in what place? The fucking a really hard play, The Crucible,
Like I was John Proctor and the Crucible. Yeah, the
harrowing bitter tale of like injustice in the in the
like Salem, Massachusetts. And you know how like when you're
(12:22):
a kid or before you know how to act, like
you think you have something memorized when you can just
recite it in your head, but you're really just kind
of like kind of looking at the lines, and like
I was to the point where I was like, I'm good.
I think like I can do this in rehearsal when
I'm walking around my house or whatever, like I'm just
going through the whole play. I know it, but you
don't really know what memorization is yet.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
No pressure.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah you have to like get it into your fucking
bones and like be very confident.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I just didn't know it yet.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
And on the first performance I rocked it and just
accidentally did it right because I had so much adrenaline.
The second performance, I bombed so hard and us was
like looking there was one kid that couldn't act, but
he had the whole thing memorized and he was just
looking at me sternly, like going like no, no, no, no,
And I just got it all wrong. And then it
(13:14):
didn't matter because like people came up to me afterwards
and they were like, you're great, and I was like, oh,
I guess nothing met.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, I guess I am pretty good at then.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
The whole play.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
But that's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Did you have to do like high school previews where
you would have to perform? My classes would get pulled
out of class and go watch your like a snippet
of your play during the middle of the day a
little bit. Yeah, that's what we had to do, and
it was always the worst.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, And it was always like.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I'm going to show them half of Dracula. Yeah, yeah,
did you do Dracula for Yeah, that was Van Helsing.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Whoa, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Did you have a crossbow that's fire stone. I probably
had a cross across.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
It was a pretty uneventful Glacula.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
We did all black exploitation, that's cool.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, flying people in yeah, yeah, ladies and gentlemen,
the eighth grade with super.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Fly, all white production of Raisin in the Sun.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Finally, oh good, Yeah, all white porgemess. Well it's those
it's those white roots that color light purple.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
They have those yellow raisins they do, right, That's how
we got around it.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yeah, yeah, yellow raisin and yeah, you guys think you
had it bade.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
All black roots, the.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Slave masters, and we did all white routes. Oh man,
all white roads, all roots.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
That story you didn't hear.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
With concre.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
With Recdre, I did this one. Oh man, this was
a bomb.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
This was this actually changed my life just a little bit,
like changed the way I deal with like logistics, but
I like just got I guess it was probably like
two thousand and twelve, so I was just like I did.
I'm nine years old. I was asked to do a
read through. This is this thing called the Blacklist that this
(15:32):
guy Frank Leonard does. It's the Blacklist movies, all this
script all the best scripts of the year that didn't
get produced. So he kind of like, you know, if
you got on the Blacklist, it's a big deal. So
there was this reading at the Jerry Lewis Theater, which
is right around the corner, and I was like, Oh,
I'm going to do this reading with all these celebrities
(15:52):
and I didn't know who they were yet, and but
I knew there were like famous people involved, and I
was like, I gotta be on time for this, and
it just didn't happen. I was like, oh no parking,
Oh God. And then I go get to the theater
and it's a labyrinth and you have to walk like
forty like six minutes this way up at elevator and
then another like and basically I was like three to
(16:15):
four minutes late after like trying so hard to get
it on time, and I was talking. I was very nervous,
and I was talking loudly. This is ten am the
rehearsal before the read through the rehearsal, So this is
the rehearsal. And I'm like talking to this intern who's
leading me, and I'm like, uh so, uh is uh
is are people here yet? And she goes, Everyone's here
(16:35):
and I was like, oh, oh wow, oh really. So
I'm like, even though I'm four minutes late, I'm like,
oh wow, I thought, hones that might be late later.
And as I walked into the room full of all
the people in the director and everyone, I said this.
I said, ah, amazing, like just my luck, I'm the
least famous guy here and the most late. Hilarious. And
(16:58):
I turned around and everyone was looking at me saying that,
and it was James Marsden, Luke Wilson, Jessica Elba, Laura
Carmichael from h mean from the car from Drug Carmichael
and some other.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
People, Elvis Presley, mister Golden Nugget himself, and I just.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah, the d C Sniper rented the Harrison Parson and
uh And I sat next to James Marson and I
was like, hey, what's up man? He goes, hey, man,
but I saying like I'm the least famous person. It
(17:47):
was just which thing to fucking say. And then the
reading came and I crushed it. I was so good
because I was like, you can't get worse than this.
I'm gonna be amazing. And I just was great. I
was like, I'm so funny.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
If you can remember, if you of those lines right now,
this is called bombing with Eric Andre So let's hear
a little bit of that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Oh okay, just to say that, but uh, bombing with
Eric Andondra, Yes, but uh. And then I did it.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
It was quite good. And then Luke Wilson just show
are budd suicide footage? Oh man, Yeah, that was rough. Anyway, Anyway,
let's talk about a bomb. The guy bombed his medulla,
were interested stuff like that? He kind of self bombed.
He self bombed his head. Have you worked with any
of those people since? Have you worked with our Bud
(18:33):
Dwiers since he shot himself on television?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I dug up his grave and stole his rings. He
weirdly was big with rings. He was buried with keys
and rings his keys.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I was like, so weird, like my keys. Yeah, what's
the most high you've ever been on stage that time
on acid? And then what occurred? Why why did you
take acid before you went on?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I didn't take a full amount, but I just took
a gel tab, just a piece of gel Yeah, to
get the show. I thought I was going to be
having a blast, and it was just fear and I
had I had to walk outside, uh and just walk
it off.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I can't perform high, like even like on weed.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I can't. No, no, no, no, no cocaine.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I can perform on weedly cocaine.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I can do a little cocaine. I'm not great at it.
What about that Humble Comedy Festival.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
I did a really terrible job.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah, well it's not my fault. That's not my it's
not your fault. It's the cokes. It was bad coke.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I you know.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
It was like that, you know, like you do these
festivals and they had been like the final show was
like they're like this is the big show, and you're like,
oh cool, I'm on the big show. And they're like,
so are forty other people. And you're like, oh, so
it's like a six hour show or like a three
hour show or something insane, and you do a little
too much coke because somebody's got it. And then you
get on age and your mouth doesn't work and you
can't say words, and you just gesture, and you see
(20:05):
your parents, your you see your friend's parents in the crowd,
and you wonder why you're doing any of this anymore
because they're really.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Upset with you, right, And that was the worst set
up was a paranoia you're saying or you.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Know, it was like Mike mum mumble like.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Oh yeah, you were like ski out, Yeah, You're like yeah,
like too much, yeah, exactly, Like I was like, it
was a lot like you're gonna be up next Actually
you're going to be.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Up in seven. Actually you know, we added we added
the other guys for the other thing, so now it's
going to be this yeah, and you just wanted to
be like say thank you to everybody and leave and
then the show's three hours late.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And I once did too much at a party and
like with my friend and I looked at his face
and his jaw was chewing his tongue and just like
some but but clearly thought he was in a normal place.
And I was like, I looked at him, I was like,
if you're like that, I must be like, so I
need to like chill the fuck out.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I used to have a gauge friend like, you can't
do what he's doing.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Yeah, you can't tell when?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Hell?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
When else? Was I funk? I was probably really drunk.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I did, uh, there's a show at u se Be
For a while that was it was like weed versus shrooms, alcohol,
weed versus shrooms versus alcohol, and you do improv on
high on shrimp.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Three teams when when.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah? And I got really drunk for that.
But that was just being drunk a young man.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
I was like, that's the peak of the show.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I want to do right right, was like, I could
be on that bad team, but mushrooms, I could do
it an alcoholic I don't thin. I don't think I
could do you think you could stay on mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I get very adorable, Like I'm like, I'm just a
little yeah, very giggly and goofy and absurd though right No,
I like, yeah, I like the giggliness.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I would be afraid to like ruin the sanctity of
mushrooms by like performing on stage with it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, I think it's their religious experience for you.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I don't know I just definitely had yeah, yeah, I
mean I would do it if it was a part
of a show. And I think I actually have done
a mushroom show.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, don't remember it. But what's the worst audition you
ever had? You ever bombed in an audition?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Man, I think I bombed so many auditions, Like that's
a bombing most of them. If you're doing well, you
kind of bomb. Like if you're like trying something.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, you bomb, but then you get the job.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Sometimes you get the job. Sometimes they're just like, okay,
you did something there. This is this guy's fucking on crack.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I remember in New York days one time, like we're
all in a hallway and like you came out of
the audition room and you kissed the sides, crumbled them
up and scrammed them into the garbage. It was like
me and whoever at the time, like I can yeah,
you know it's probably like Ellie Kemper and Reggie Watts
sitting we all died laughing. It's fun thing to do.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, yeah, it's perfect. And it must have been a
commercial audition, yeah, just like fuck you, yeah, you gotta
do it audition. I had one audition where I just
I had to. It was for a prank show and
I had to go to Washington Square Park and like crank,
(23:11):
it was for Jackass. I think it was like literally
for not Jackass punked sorry ye and like punks was
and this dude was like, all right, when needs to go,
We're gonna wire you up. Go to Central Park and
just like fuck with people. And I I went there
and I just went up to people and I was
like what do I say?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
They were like catch them in lives, like catch him
in the face.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Yeah, wait what it's like practical, like you want the job,
practical jokers, Yeah, seal volcanoes in your ear, going like
do something funny. Yeah, And I just I didn't really
bomb because I was just like I'm not doing this.
I can't do this. I think they were just like
the literal premise was like catch someone in a lie,
make it about a party last night, and like, hey,
(23:57):
you're from the party.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I was. I tried it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I was like, premise, you're in a party, You're from
the party last night, and they were like no, I wasn't.
And I was like I'll see you guys later. I
tried like once or twice. He does yeah, I guess
it's not working.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Guys. Yea with a redre with a recdre.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Relationship bombs. Oh man, yeah yeah, relationship bombs.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Ship.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
You don't how to get into it now, but we
just want to. We just want to see it in
your eyes.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh man. I uh yeah, yeah. No, I'm sad.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I'm really sad. No, No, I'm not thank you. Yeah,
I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
No.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
I I had a thing where, oh man, I was
doing a show and and I don't know if this
is me bombing, this was just insane, but like I
was doing a show with the whitest kid you know,
and I don't know it was. It was like Tuesday
Night at eleven in New York days New York Raffife,
(25:15):
late night Tuesday Night Raffife, which.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Was like probably the hottest spot at the time.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
It was the hottest spot sun.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And I was like twenty five and I was dating
a girl that was thirty five.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
She was like way older, more mature, she had a
good job and everything. I was like, why are you
dating me?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
And she before the show was drinking at a bar
or like eating at a bar. She left her friends
and like or her friends left and she was like
waiting to see my show and somebody started buying her drinks.
Turns out it was Sam Shepherd, like the legendary American
playwright Sam And so Sam Shepherd comes to Art teak
(25:59):
around like disgusting comedy idiot had and and he just
like like watches it.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
He's like, this isn't True West, clearly.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Like hitting on my girlfriend. I was just like, why
why did you bring Sam Shepherd? What's going on? And
I was like psyched. I was like he's gonna see us,
We're really good or whatever. And she was like he
just like bought me a drink. And I was like, oh,
that's weird, but it's Sam Shepherd, right, that's fine. And
then we did the show and he was like holding court.
We were like, hey man, true West right.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
He was like yeah, yeah, good job man.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
That was fucking funny. It reminds me of my life,
reminds me of the sixties, like experimental theater and saying
all this bullshit to me and he's like just trying
to fuck my friend. I was like, I think my
mind was just like I'm not even going to accept
that he's.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Trying to fuck me. It's kind of a compliment.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It is a compliment, but it was just at the time,
I was like, fuck, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
She goes, I'm gonna go outside and just say goodbye
to Sam, but I'm not going to do anything. But
and I was like, don't do it, and she was like,
I just he wants to say goodbye. And I was
all right, whatever, he's a legend. And I like went
to the window and like watched them and she didn't
kiss him or anything. And that ended our relationship. I
was like, okay, we got to like end the relationship.
(27:16):
Why a bomb? It wasn't working, But that was like
you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
It was.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
It was a thing where I was just like you
you shouldn't be with me.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Like I I'm holding you back from Sam Shepherd.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
No, just your thirty five. Like I was like, this
is not it's not gonna this is not gonna last.
I need to way more psychos than the Yeah. Yeah,
but that was that was pretty Uh, that was pretty intense.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
That's fine. That was That was That was a bomb
of a in those days. What was the did you
do trashy clause with John Gambling? Yeah, trashy clause.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
John Gambling's character Trashy clause was one of the funniest.
He just had like real trash. He went to a
dumpster and got a real trash bag and handed out
like disgusting ketchup covered like McDonald's. The audience was discuss.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
It was so he found a resource and he's just like,
put disgusting to give you actual garbage.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Vic Bernardo told me he went to some experimental show
at the Bowery Poetry Room and he had to go
on and tell jokes after this woman pissed in a
bowl of spaghetti and ate it.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Oh man.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And he's like, that's before I realized I shouldn't do
variety shows anymore. I should just like comedy only.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
There's a lot of variety shows in New York. I
feel like I performed after a woman who pulled like,
you know, a scroll out of her vagina, which is, you.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Know, interesting wow.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
And then I'm going there and I'm like, it's crazy,
you know, having apartments and like paying rent right right,
And she's like I just read that scene is where
I met Brodie Stevens.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Like the surf Reality that was the weirdo place that
was like experimental reality because you're surfing reality just cresting. Like,
but do you remember like Reverend Jen, the girl who
dresses an elf and always if she was out of
her house, she always had elf ears on she was.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
She was part of that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
And there was a guy called zero Boy, and then
the guy who was soy bomb who like who can
tell his bomb box? Yeah, exactly at the Grammys. He
was like part of that scene. Then Brodie Stevens was
like the normalist probably guy in that scene just like
doing that. He was doing like.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Doing stand up, you know, so it was like a
little bit more normal. But yeah, that.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Scene was cool, and that's like what you see. B
was at the very tip top, Like it seemed like
there were more just like New York City freakazoids there
and it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Was outsider outside. Shout out to Johnny Conroy.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
My first, my very first open mic was in North
Hollywood and this guy I like knew from an acting
class or something was there and I ran him outside
and he was like really excited to show me his
new bit, and I was like, what do you mean
show me your new bit. I'll just see it on stage,
and he was like, oh, I gotta show you. And
then he like opened up his pants and pulled his
(30:21):
pants down, and he had like a photorealistic knit fake
dick that he was like hell ya, like he could.
He was like, well, the end of my act, I'm
going to reveal myself to the audience. But it's not
illegal if it's not your actual penis. Oh boy, And
I was like, so you found the loop.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
The loophole too exposing yourself.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Also at that point, like the week before I saw him,
he did not have good teeth, and that week he
had like full caps, like full like yeah, full veniers,
just like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
There was this. When I first took a Groundlings class,
they'd put you in this like like preliminary one off
glass with everybody to separate the people that have like
at least just a teeny bit of stageperience, the total
yahoos who's never stepped on stage once in their life,
like complete like coming from an absolute amateur position, like
(31:16):
this is their first time ever venturing. Yeah, so it's
a real simple class. The guy like just pairs people.
He's like, go up there and do a bit about
a yoga class. Go over there and say the first thing.
And I'm like, this is going to be a train
wreck just something in my bones. I was like, this
(31:37):
is about to be a fucking disaster because half these
people are Hollywood yahoos who have like thousand yards stare
and their eye like clearly like undiagnosed quack of doodles
on the street, like yeah, I could do comedy. There's
you there are like yeah, I'm like I can do
like you know, I want to get into comedy writing.
(31:58):
I'm somewhat saying enough to pursue a career or at
least a hobby. But some people were just complete wagged
as this one. This one guy, I saw it happening
as it was happening. The groundling Seazer goes, all right,
he picks this guy, this middle aged white guy who
looks like a Tim and Eric character, who's like incredibly white.
(32:21):
He's got khakis and a blue button up shirt that
he like he works at Blockbuster Video or best Buy, so.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
He's got great style.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
He's got a great style. He's very like like looks
like Iowa bread, looks like he's never met a black
person in his life, very pale and corny. And this
is like twenty years ago. I'm gonna say yeah and
then and then He's like, okay, whatever his name was,
all right, Greg, you go up with Janet and he
(32:50):
picked like the only black girl in the class. And
they had to improvise their whole scene. And I'm like,
I already know this white guy's gonna say something race
and it brought just my Spidey sense. Everything came to that.
I'm like, something's gonna just be catastrophic, and boy did
I predict. So all they had to do was improv
(33:11):
They could make up whatever they wanted. They could be
like friends, they could be a husband and wife.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yea.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And the guy in the first millisecond started touching her
hair never better before. And he goes and the first
thing out of his mouth he was like, I love
being your slave owner, old Bessie. Your prettiest.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
On my on my plantation sounds.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Girl, it's so.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Slapped him across the good Wow.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It was like fuck you and ran out. He might
have said the N word in the middle of his
field too. Sounds like I was coming.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Here's a good way for me to framing able to
say the end, make the black person I'm in with us.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
Yeah, Like, oh finally, okay, pace, first off the wall,
you got it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
You gotta set the where and what. You're my slave,
I'm your master. Let's go the same time.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm touching a girl. I fucking win today.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
You know I live in Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
She slaps some prossive face. Oh man, screams out of
she runs outside. Then he runs after her, apologizing outside
the teachers like this. He's like, I guess I gotta
go out there and mediate this fucking trade.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Yeah, oh man, Yeah, I taught improv, and there was
a sight. There was always a fucking like yeah, some
like guy who's like, people tell me I'm pretty funny
and just like from like upstate New York or whatever,
and just drive down for UCB classes and they just
want to touch women like they just like they striper hooker,
and I'm gonna fucking touch you, like it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
Of fuck Like yeah, it's a lot of like happy,
happy anniversary, babe.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
A little.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Wow, it's our wedding night.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Yeah, time to touch a lot.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I don't think we should have improth That's what I say.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Improv is just well, no, I love.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
I don't think you should let anybody do it. We
should have the same rules for getting the gun or
maybe more rules. There's no rules forgetting Yeah, you should
have more gone to the new improv classes.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Yeah yeah, everybody's taking a shot.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah. What's the worst show you've ever seen?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Where?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Improv show you've ever seen or been a part of,
or rock show or whatever. Yeah, not even you didn't
even have to be a part of it, just like
you saw like fucking oh man, Alice Cooper fucking cry
blood on stage. Man.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I walked out of a really sad Bob Dylan show
one time.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Actually, my friend saw him live and he said, he's
the worst performer he's ever seen. Why it sounds like
he's gargling. No, he's gargling, Well, yes that, but he
just sounds like he's gargling razor blades with my friend
said that was it.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
He like had no voice and he was singing I
think Ballad of a Thin Man or something, which is
a song I like. And it took me like two
minutes to figure out, oh, this is a song I recognized,
Like you couldn't understand the words at all, and he
was playing this organ and he was like kind of
not facing the audience. No but no, but people people
were like, oh, you got it.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
You caught him on a really bad like you have.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
To see him because he still is good, like even
in his eighties, like he can muster together. It's just
most shows are bad, and he's addicted to touring. He's
never stopped me.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
He's a complete He's a complete ut No, yeah, I
got to check it out.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I haven't seen it.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Oh no, just his music.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
I mean, oh you got to see his music. Yeah,
you got to check out his music.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Good.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
So I don't think Joni Mitchell likes it. So Bob Dylan,
that's the worst show you ever seen?
Speaker 3 (37:00):
No, I think I've seen worse. That just kind of
popped into my mind, is like I can't believe I'm leaving.
I was like looking around, going, I'm leaving a Bob Dylan,
Like I love Bob Dylan.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
What am I doing? But it sucked. Jesse Potp told me,
I go, what's the worst comedy show You've ever seen?
And I think he's going to be like, uh yeah,
the fucking Alligator loungees I think, uh no, I thought
he was going to say something like that and he goes.
The worst show I've ever been to is when I
took my mom to see George Carlin, and I go
George Carlin just after George Carlin's the best, one of
(37:30):
the best comics of all time. He goes, he used
to be He's like completely crazy. Now I go, what
do you mean? It is right before Carlin died. He goes, Dude,
I brought my mom because she's a fan. That's her generation.
I thought it was going to be this great mother's
son kind of fun birthday gift, you know, yeh yeah,
(37:50):
he's he's from your generation to generation. He goes, have
you heard any of his new stuff or stuff that
he's practiced recently. I'm like, no, I didn't mean, I know,
like the classic Carlin specials from like the eighties and seventies.
He's like, dude. His opening joke was like I want
to drag the teenage girl to the woods and her
(38:11):
log cabin cut her, put me out and disembodied, and
his mom like, oh my god, Texas Chansaw massacre what
I'm talking about?
Speaker 4 (38:24):
And with the point, Yeah, there was no point anyway,
That's just something I want to do.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
WHOA, that's a show I want to see.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah, that's I was never a huge Carlin fan. I
mean that's that's that's obviously not something you're supposed to say.
I was never like I was like I like Eddie Murphy,
not George Carlin, like when I was a little kid.
I understand he's very important to comedy, but I want
to see that version like.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yeah, I said he was just melting down, like super
embarrassing from his mom. She's like, what the hell?
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Oh man, Yeah, I've been the Yeah, like comedy shows
I've I've done.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I did a show over the improv when it's bad.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Improv when it's bad is one of the word.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
But when it's good, it's also bad.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, it's like bad improv shows I've been to. I like,
it's it's like they should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yeah, there's nothing worse than bad theater. Bad theater because
there's a script that they're going through. Improv, like there
is a certain amount of like all right, let's move
to the next scene, and then that scene won't work
and they'll be like I'm watching horrible improv. But bad
theater you're like really held hostage hostage. I've Broadway shows
(39:35):
where it's just like, oh, this show just doesn't work
and I don't understand why. But the vibe is not there.
Someone's not excited about this, and it is hell.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
It's like hell to get through, really bad like three
hours bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I met a very bad show.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
I remember seeing Raid. The first time I saw Rage
against the Machine. It was at like one of the
early lollapaloozas, and it was like we just but we
didn't know who they were. They weren't famous and okay,
and they went on it like four in the afternoon,
and I remember me and my middle school buddies were
(40:14):
watching this ship and Zach de Laroka comes out and goes.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
What you tell me?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
And You're like, who was this fucking white wrapper?
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Nerd?
Speaker 1 (40:23):
You were a cop back then we took off. I
was a cop back.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Very on top of America back then.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I was like, yeah, I was the skinhead cop.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
So I wasn't into what they were. I wasn't into
what they were laying down. Oh man, I'm sure. Yeah,
there's gotta be bad shows, and that what's a bad
fucking show?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
They're all you know, I think they're all bad all shows. No,
I think no, no, no, there's a lot of really
good shows, of course, But like I think, in general,
if there's a show that you haven't seen, it's it's
bad because because there was a reason you didn't see it.
You know, there's more bad shows in the world.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I took my mom to Street No More and she
was like, you like it? No, She was like, why
is it so dark in here? I go, Mom, you
gotta be quiet. I could put the mask on. She goes,
this mask wasn't made for Jewish noses. It's hurting my face.
And then she keeps like putting the thing up, and
I'm like, mom, you got a whisper. It's an interactive play?
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Is that one?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
She goes, you told me a play. I thought there'd
be seats. I'm standing for hours. I'm exhausted. I'm like,
stop complaining. This is fucking art. And then she's like, no,
I'm sitting. And she would just sit on Pride. Yeah,
she would sit on set back and her mask.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Well, people will think you're a part of the show.
If you don't have the mask on, that makes you blank,
right mask A so you're in the show as like
a modern dressed person. I don't know even know where
my son is.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I remember she's checking her voicemails all loud and sh yeah,
clearly not a play.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
I'm walking the whole through a hallway.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Remember that ship, Like she'd be like this is cool.
She was like, I think that's really cool. I like
that immersive theater.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
I love immersive theater.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, it's amazing. Sleep No More was cool.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I feel like there was a thing with like the
would always be like, oh, de la Guardo. You know,
it's like the best theater production. And like when Leonardo
DiCaprio was there, they took them up into the ceiling
and they fucking bounced them around and stuff, and then
it would be like, oh, Sleep No More. Well, Leonardo
DiCaprio went to sleep and they fucked a girl and
(42:37):
you go and you're like, oh this is some good
sexy show and people are naked and you're like, oh,
it's a little bit withhold it didn't get it. There's
a big sex orgy, there's a but it's nothing great.
I don't know, Like I just like I wanted to like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
It to be way more. Forgot about GUARDI remember Day.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
La Guarda, like they people would fly.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
I never saw it. I was too broken those days
to get tickets at anything.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Yeah, I mean they're still and I think I'm still
too broadfrad. There's another like Sleep No More show that
is even weirder. Apparently it just opened.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Really yeah, I'll go to the same guy.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I love that ship.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I just wanted to be that too.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yes, it's going to Sleep No More where you finally
get to fu Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Yeah, you finally get to fucking finally do what Leo did.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah, version some girl just as.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Like, yeah, time the funk.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Oh wow, I guess that was a good play.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Good review from Sleep even Less.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, well I didn't do any sleeping in there.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
All I learned is people want to fuck me.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
That's got his theater experience. Well, this was great. Good
to see you guys. Yeah, good to see you too, man. Yeah,
John Daily.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Everyone with Aeric Condre.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Finding with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive
producers Olivia, a producer is Bei Wang, our research assistant
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Speaker 7 (44:10):
All right, listen up, We've also got something special.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
For You got a burning story that you're iss going
to tell about when you bombed? Are absolutely failed in life.
Now is your chance to tell me about it. I
want to hear your worst, most cringe.
Speaker 7 (44:21):
Worthy what the fuck was I thinking moments, So pick
up your phone and dial seven one six bombing. That's
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Speaker 1 (44:31):
Four and leave me a voicemail
What's up as Eric Andre and This is Bombing, the
podcast where I talk to comedians, artists, and other interesting
people about the worst bombs of their career. On today's episode,
we have comedian, writer and musician John Daily. John and
I talk about using karate to stop a bully, taking
my mom to sleep no More, and Surprise Surprise drugs.
Also other stuff.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Enjoy bombing with Eric Andre.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
You know him from being John Daly, John Daly, everybody, comedian.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
Friends, thanks for having us me And uh, it's great,
this is great. I love it. I love I love you,
I love your dog and I love you.
Speaker 4 (00:43):
Yeah, I'm like a weird second pet of Eric. I
think I'm kind of this guy on the show. We
haven't really defined it.
Speaker 1 (00:49):
We just met this morning.
Speaker 4 (00:50):
I parked his car right.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Well, relationships people are pets and they don't even know it.
So it's good that you know. That's good that Yeah,
it's good.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
You think Americas it okay.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I was looking at the news today and it's on
the up.
Speaker 1 (01:04):
I think it's on the we're going back up.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
I'm just excited about the new States we're gonna get.
Speaker 3 (01:09):
Yeah, I'm just I'm just psyched that I would switched
to Russia because like, I'd rather hang in Moscow, you know,
just a good place. It's a really high level place
and it's a lot played with a lot of art.
Like I never wanted to go to Paris anywhere. Give
me Moscow, give.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
Me like Curesk or whatever.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Ship I've never seen you don't think you're going to see,
and then you see it and you're like.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Wow, Okay, so this is a podcast about bombing real.
What's the worst show you've ever done? What's the worst
gig you were at? Yeah, we're just tell us the
fucking all the failures child as you. Have you ever
been booed off stage? Anyone ever throwing? Oh yeah, yeah,
yeah I got to Stone before you got on stage.
And you're like, I'm way too Stone, And.
Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, I've definitely done that. I have gone out on
stage on acid and really, like you know, you think
it's going to go well, and it just is like
people are just like worried about you. That I was
thinking because it was like the improv marathon at uc B,
and I was like, I've done this on mushrooms. Why
can't I up the fucking annie and start doing this
(02:14):
on acid? And just acid's too deep. Man, It's like
it was like penetrating my soul and so I couldn't
do anything. But uh, I just bombed really hard about
two weeks ago doing stand up at uc B, which
I uh built that build that place in my bare hands,
(02:34):
and uh all yeah good, I'm a poc Alley.
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
And it was just a random show.
Speaker 3 (02:41):
It was like people doing sketch, people doing like, you know,
really sketchy sketch, comedy stuff, musical stuff, like the kind
of stuff you don't want to go as stand up
up necessarily at and I went. It was a variety show.
It was not for charity. It was just kind of
a one off.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
Pretty selfish then, pretty selfish of me to do it. Yeah, no, fires,
I actually I actually live to eating fire ten minutes
after the show. Okay, so you do show was like that?
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Okay, yeah, no, I started it man, Yeah, why not?
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Did you listen to a Prodigy fire starter as you're
doing it? That would be I did. I was just
in a throwback moment.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
But it was interesting.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Because I try to tell the fire department.
Speaker 3 (03:28):
Yeah, because I know you do transcendental meditation, or maybe
not transcendental, but some sort of meditation. So this was
a time when I was like, I'm bombing and I
know it, and I am just usually like the people
pleaser performer in me is like how can I get
these guys back?
Speaker 1 (03:44):
And it was just a thing where I just started.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Going, oh, this is really fascinating, just out loud, and
like Grace Freud and a couple of people I knew
were in the in the green room and they were
laughing because they were like the I was just on
the TV back there, like comics bombing and comics there's
nothing funnier to comics when people bomb. And I was
just like, I'm sure people are enjoying it. It sounds
like people are enjoying and it was just silence I
(04:07):
couldn't get. It was just aggressive, like get off.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
The stage and it really trying new material or we
just no. That was the thing.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
It was.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
You were in between a like a acoustic folk singer
and like a juggler exactly.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
It was just but also like could have done well usually,
And I was thinking about bombing in general, like when
I've bombed, it's usually because I'm in a good place
and I want to try something new, and it's not
because I'm like, oh, I was so depressed. I've definitely
like probably bombed because I was like depressed or something
like that. But usually it's like I'm gonna go for it.
Speaker 1 (04:41):
I'm gonna ask out girl.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
That level. This was a time when I really did go,
oh I'm bombing. I can't win, you know what, fuck you,
and I just started going this is really fat and
I just kind of did that for like about the
last four minutes. But Transcendental Meditation. I feel like meditating
everyday got me to the place where I was like,
you know what, it's not gonna go anywhere. This is
just just enjoy it. See if you can play with
(05:07):
the tension a little bit, but like, I'm not gonna
be like but in that show, I was like I
had a great attitude.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I was like, fuck this, I'm the best, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
And then it was like nothing, nothing, Oh, okay, you're
gonna take me down a couple of notches. That's fine,
fuck you. It was just interesting to stop in the
middle of it and be like I am bombing rather
than oh geez, and then you're driving home going like, well,
I think I'm going back a little bit or whatever,
like fuck that.
Speaker 1 (05:33):
Just enjoy it, you know.
Speaker 4 (05:35):
Yeah, and can you get me booked on that show?
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah you can't.
Speaker 3 (05:39):
Yeah, it's but I know you only do fire fire
Tragedy staff. But and then I I bombed. I I
was thinking like of the bomb feeling based on that show,
like I've bombed socially a.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Lot, like every give.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
I think the first time where I was like I
am being humiliated in front of a lot of kids
was like I went to a new I went to
a new school, and the first time it like really
sticks in my memory.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
He's like, I went to a new school.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I was in third grade, and I because I was
in a new school, like I was pretty down with
the you know, like mentally handicapped kids because they are
like super nice to me. I was just like I
was like, well, I go, this guy's fucking dapping me up.
I guess friend in life, this guy that thinks it's
hilarious that my name is John and his name is John. Okay,
that's our relationship. And he was, you know, uh, quite
(06:32):
mentally impaired. And but he would see me every day
and go John, and I'd be like John and be like, hey,
what's up or whatever?
Speaker 4 (06:41):
I was probably eight or nine, and this is John
Hammer talking about. This is John John Ham was.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Probably dead now, unfortunately, but uh, but a kid was
picking on this kid, Matt Frederick. This like honky asshole,
like hunky in Pittsburgh means like you're trying, and uh,
He's like, man, man, and he started pushing this kid around.
I was like, hey man, because I'm a hero, I
was like, hey man, that's you know, let's let's not
(07:08):
do that. That's the other John. And he kicked me
in a totally non karate style and I fell down
and there were like eight kids watching at this point.
I fell down and he before I could get up
and like hit back, he goes karate move. I was like,
in front of all these kids, everyone's laughing at me.
(07:29):
I'm dirty for defending this innocent kid. And my comeback
was this. I went people who know karate don't say
karate move when they do karate.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Was you're a comedian.
Speaker 2 (07:42):
No.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I was like indignant.
Speaker 3 (07:43):
I was like, people, people don't say that if you
really know karate, you don't like sand karate.
Speaker 1 (07:49):
From the ground.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
But I was trying to like get back again.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
It just that was it. I think I got.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
I mean, you're right, you're right. People who say karate nerm,
they don't do that.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, they don't go karate ti. I don't announce it
like that.
Speaker 3 (08:04):
Karate moved.
Speaker 4 (08:05):
Karate move time is not a lot about like projecting
what you're about to do. I think it's a lot
of like being faster than the opponent.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
I think it's about yeah, beating them up in really
super efficient way.
Speaker 4 (08:16):
Yeah, and just yelling out it's karate moved.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Yeah. No.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I remember like being at this bar McManus. It was
like the UCB bar, and there was a celebrity who
I won't say it was there. I was like twenty
three and there was this beautiful woman there and she
just happened to be like at my table and I
was talking to her, was making her laugh.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
She's making you ever like.
Speaker 3 (08:41):
Getting along so well? And I was like, you know what,
I'm gonna shoot my shot. I'm fucking drunk enough to
do this or whatever. And here's what I did. I went, Hey,
I think we'd really like get along. I don't know
why I asked her out like that sounds. I think
we'd really is a fine way to ask her. I
think we'd like really get along and I was and
(09:02):
she was like, oh, oh okay, And I was like, yeah,
don't you think we get along?
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Like you know, we should hang out. And she stood
up and just walked away.
Speaker 3 (09:12):
It's not that great a story, but I'll tell you
who it is.
Speaker 1 (09:15):
That is John Ham. That was John. It was Don
de Luiseise, it.
Speaker 3 (09:20):
Was that was Don de Luise, And ladies and gentlemen,
that was Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
That woman the next day, Wait, who is this lucky
lady that rejected you?
Speaker 4 (09:30):
We can't talk about her name right.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
She's on luck.
Speaker 3 (09:33):
I'll let you know because I'm still friends with her.
I'll let you know afterwards.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
I feel like, well you can you can say it
now and then we can bleep it right.
Speaker 3 (09:43):
Oh yeah, so then you can have an opinion, you guys.
It seems like I should trust you guys what I did.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Just say it?
Speaker 4 (09:50):
No, I think I think give.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
Us a little clue. Well, I don't have to say it,
will give you a clue, give us a little clue,
all right, all right, yeah, all right, love Borat. It
was Geena Davis.
Speaker 3 (10:08):
Geena Davis, the archer. You know, she's a professional arts Eneway.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
We disrailed it Lake Bell. No didn't know.
Speaker 4 (10:18):
No, wait wait wait wait it really an actress? Wait
but can I can I because I don't think the
name matters. But this was a I thought it was
a celebrity guy who had a celebrity girl, and you
were like, I'm gonna swoop in and take the celebrity
girl away.
Speaker 3 (10:30):
I wasn't like trying to steal anyone's girl.
Speaker 4 (10:32):
You were just trying to be charming.
Speaker 3 (10:33):
I was just like, well, it was working. I was like,
this is clearly working. And then I realized the guy. No,
she was not with a guy. She was just she
was with a friend from very much a friend like drama. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker 4 (10:49):
It was just it was a celebrity that you are
now friends with, and at the time you were hitting.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
On and it was working.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
I was like, like I said, we're clearly getting along.
I was like, I think we'd really get along. And
this was the time I was waiting tables. I was like, broke,
you know.
Speaker 4 (11:05):
You're on acid or like UCB theater.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah, they're all yeah, you could just be like you.
Speaker 3 (11:09):
Can say that, Yeah, I could have.
Speaker 4 (11:11):
I don't think it's a bad hit.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
No.
Speaker 3 (11:12):
I I was pretty proud of myself. Like I think
I never regret like bombing, because that means you did
it and you failed. But what I do regret is
like going like, oh man, I should ask this girl out,
you know what.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
It's not the right to or whatever.
Speaker 4 (11:27):
Yeah, yeah, exactly, Oh great, now she's married to Barack.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
Was it, Michelle Obama?
Speaker 2 (11:31):
You were hitting us?
Speaker 3 (11:32):
It was something for a long time future president, Michelle Obam. Ah,
how about you? Did you ever bomb?
Speaker 1 (11:43):
Never? Never?
Speaker 4 (11:45):
I'm yeah, yeah, we always bomb.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
We're bombing now. This is bad.
Speaker 4 (11:50):
These people who work here are just like they're putting
in applications at new jobs.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Don't work here. This is we work and I share
the space.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Yeah I did bomb. I did the high school play
in what place? The fucking a really hard play, The Crucible,
Like I was John Proctor and the Crucible. Yeah, the
harrowing bitter tale of like injustice in the in the
like Salem, Massachusetts. And you know how like when you're
(12:22):
a kid or before you know how to act, like
you think you have something memorized when you can just
recite it in your head, but you're really just kind
of like kind of looking at the lines, and like
I was to the point where I was like, I'm good.
I think like I can do this in rehearsal when
I'm walking around my house or whatever, like I'm just
going through the whole play. I know it, but you
don't really know what memorization is yet.
Speaker 1 (12:43):
No pressure.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Yeah you have to like get it into your fucking
bones and like be very confident.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
I just didn't know it yet.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
And on the first performance I rocked it and just
accidentally did it right because I had so much adrenaline.
The second performance, I bombed so hard and us was
like looking there was one kid that couldn't act, but
he had the whole thing memorized and he was just
looking at me sternly, like going like no, no, no, no,
And I just got it all wrong. And then it
(13:14):
didn't matter because like people came up to me afterwards
and they were like, you're great, and I was like, oh,
I guess nothing met.
Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, I guess I am pretty good at then.
Speaker 3 (13:22):
The whole play.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
But that's okay.
Speaker 4 (13:23):
Did you have to do like high school previews where
you would have to perform? My classes would get pulled
out of class and go watch your like a snippet
of your play during the middle of the day a
little bit. Yeah, that's what we had to do, and
it was always the worst.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, And it was always like.
Speaker 4 (13:36):
I'm going to show them half of Dracula. Yeah, yeah,
did you do Dracula for Yeah, that was Van Helsing.
Speaker 1 (13:42):
Whoa, that's cool.
Speaker 3 (13:44):
Did you have a crossbow that's fire stone. I probably
had a cross across.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (13:48):
It was a pretty uneventful Glacula.
Speaker 1 (13:50):
We did all black exploitation, that's cool.
Speaker 6 (13:57):
Yeah, yeah, flying people in yeah, yeah, ladies and gentlemen,
the eighth grade with super.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Fly, all white production of Raisin in the Sun.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
Finally, oh good, Yeah, all white porgemess. Well it's those
it's those white roots that color light purple.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
They have those yellow raisins they do, right, That's how
we got around it.
Speaker 4 (14:27):
Yeah, yeah, yellow raisin and yeah, you guys think you
had it bade.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
All black roots, the.
Speaker 3 (14:37):
Slave masters, and we did all white routes. Oh man,
all white roads, all roots.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
That story you didn't hear.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
With concre.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
With Recdre, I did this one. Oh man, this was
a bomb.
Speaker 3 (15:10):
This was this actually changed my life just a little bit,
like changed the way I deal with like logistics, but
I like just got I guess it was probably like
two thousand and twelve, so I was just like I did.
I'm nine years old. I was asked to do a
read through. This is this thing called the Blacklist that this
(15:32):
guy Frank Leonard does. It's the Blacklist movies, all this
script all the best scripts of the year that didn't
get produced. So he kind of like, you know, if
you got on the Blacklist, it's a big deal. So
there was this reading at the Jerry Lewis Theater, which
is right around the corner, and I was like, Oh,
I'm going to do this reading with all these celebrities
(15:52):
and I didn't know who they were yet, and but
I knew there were like famous people involved, and I
was like, I gotta be on time for this, and
it just didn't happen. I was like, oh no parking,
Oh God. And then I go get to the theater
and it's a labyrinth and you have to walk like
forty like six minutes this way up at elevator and
then another like and basically I was like three to
(16:15):
four minutes late after like trying so hard to get
it on time, and I was talking. I was very nervous,
and I was talking loudly. This is ten am the
rehearsal before the read through the rehearsal, So this is
the rehearsal. And I'm like talking to this intern who's
leading me, and I'm like, uh so, uh is uh
is are people here yet? And she goes, Everyone's here
(16:35):
and I was like, oh, oh wow, oh really. So
I'm like, even though I'm four minutes late, I'm like,
oh wow, I thought, hones that might be late later.
And as I walked into the room full of all
the people in the director and everyone, I said this.
I said, ah, amazing, like just my luck, I'm the
least famous guy here and the most late. Hilarious. And
(16:58):
I turned around and everyone was looking at me saying that,
and it was James Marsden, Luke Wilson, Jessica Elba, Laura
Carmichael from h mean from the car from Drug Carmichael
and some other.
Speaker 4 (17:15):
People, Elvis Presley, mister Golden Nugget himself, and I just.
Speaker 3 (17:25):
Yeah, the d C Sniper rented the Harrison Parson and
uh And I sat next to James Marson and I
was like, hey, what's up man? He goes, hey, man,
but I saying like I'm the least famous person. It
(17:47):
was just which thing to fucking say. And then the
reading came and I crushed it. I was so good
because I was like, you can't get worse than this.
I'm gonna be amazing. And I just was great. I
was like, I'm so funny.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
If you can remember, if you of those lines right now,
this is called bombing with Eric Andre So let's hear
a little bit of that.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
Oh okay, just to say that, but uh, bombing with
Eric Andondra, Yes, but uh. And then I did it.
Speaker 1 (18:10):
It was quite good. And then Luke Wilson just show
are budd suicide footage? Oh man, Yeah, that was rough. Anyway, Anyway,
let's talk about a bomb. The guy bombed his medulla,
were interested stuff like that? He kind of self bombed.
He self bombed his head. Have you worked with any
of those people since? Have you worked with our Bud
(18:33):
Dwiers since he shot himself on television?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (18:36):
I dug up his grave and stole his rings. He
weirdly was big with rings. He was buried with keys
and rings his keys.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
I was like, so weird, like my keys. Yeah, what's
the most high you've ever been on stage that time
on acid? And then what occurred? Why why did you
take acid before you went on?
Speaker 3 (19:00):
I didn't take a full amount, but I just took
a gel tab, just a piece of gel Yeah, to
get the show. I thought I was going to be
having a blast, and it was just fear and I
had I had to walk outside, uh and just walk
it off.
Speaker 4 (19:17):
I can't perform high, like even like on weed.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
I can't. No, no, no, no, no cocaine.
Speaker 3 (19:22):
I can perform on weedly cocaine.
Speaker 1 (19:25):
I can do a little cocaine. I'm not great at it.
What about that Humble Comedy Festival.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
I did a really terrible job.
Speaker 3 (19:34):
Yeah, well it's not my fault. That's not my it's
not your fault. It's the cokes. It was bad coke.
Speaker 1 (19:41):
I you know.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
It was like that, you know, like you do these
festivals and they had been like the final show was
like they're like this is the big show, and you're like,
oh cool, I'm on the big show. And they're like,
so are forty other people. And you're like, oh, so
it's like a six hour show or like a three
hour show or something insane, and you do a little
too much coke because somebody's got it. And then you
get on age and your mouth doesn't work and you
can't say words, and you just gesture, and you see
(20:05):
your parents, your you see your friend's parents in the crowd,
and you wonder why you're doing any of this anymore
because they're really.
Speaker 3 (20:11):
Upset with you, right, And that was the worst set
up was a paranoia you're saying or you.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
Know, it was like Mike mum mumble like.
Speaker 6 (20:20):
Oh yeah, you were like ski out, Yeah, You're like yeah,
like too much, yeah, exactly, Like I was like, it
was a lot like you're gonna be up next Actually
you're going to be.
Speaker 4 (20:30):
Up in seven. Actually you know, we added we added
the other guys for the other thing, so now it's
going to be this yeah, and you just wanted to
be like say thank you to everybody and leave and
then the show's three hours late.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
And I once did too much at a party and
like with my friend and I looked at his face
and his jaw was chewing his tongue and just like
some but but clearly thought he was in a normal place.
And I was like, I looked at him, I was like,
if you're like that, I must be like, so I
need to like chill the fuck out.
Speaker 2 (21:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (21:01):
I used to have a gauge friend like, you can't
do what he's doing.
Speaker 3 (21:04):
Yeah, you can't tell when?
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Hell?
Speaker 1 (21:07):
When else? Was I funk? I was probably really drunk.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
I did, uh, there's a show at u se Be
For a while that was it was like weed versus shrooms, alcohol,
weed versus shrooms versus alcohol, and you do improv on
high on shrimp.
Speaker 1 (21:23):
Three teams when when.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
Yeah, yeah, yeah? And I got really drunk for that.
But that was just being drunk a young man.
Speaker 4 (21:31):
I was like, that's the peak of the show.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
I want to do right right, was like, I could
be on that bad team, but mushrooms, I could do
it an alcoholic I don't thin. I don't think I
could do you think you could stay on mushrooms.
Speaker 3 (21:41):
I get very adorable, Like I'm like, I'm just a
little yeah, very giggly and goofy and absurd though right No,
I like, yeah, I like the giggliness.
Speaker 4 (21:51):
I would be afraid to like ruin the sanctity of
mushrooms by like performing on stage with it.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, I think it's their religious experience for you.
Speaker 4 (21:58):
I don't know I just definitely had yeah, yeah, I
mean I would do it if it was a part
of a show. And I think I actually have done
a mushroom show.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
Yeah, don't remember it. But what's the worst audition you
ever had? You ever bombed in an audition?
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (22:11):
Man, I think I bombed so many auditions, Like that's
a bombing most of them. If you're doing well, you
kind of bomb. Like if you're like trying something.
Speaker 4 (22:19):
Yeah, you bomb, but then you get the job.
Speaker 3 (22:21):
Sometimes you get the job. Sometimes they're just like, okay,
you did something there. This is this guy's fucking on crack.
Speaker 1 (22:27):
I remember in New York days one time, like we're
all in a hallway and like you came out of
the audition room and you kissed the sides, crumbled them
up and scrammed them into the garbage. It was like
me and whoever at the time, like I can yeah,
you know it's probably like Ellie Kemper and Reggie Watts
sitting we all died laughing. It's fun thing to do.
Speaker 3 (22:51):
Yeah, yeah, it's perfect. And it must have been a
commercial audition, yeah, just like fuck you, yeah, you gotta
do it audition. I had one audition where I just
I had to. It was for a prank show and
I had to go to Washington Square Park and like crank,
(23:11):
it was for Jackass. I think it was like literally
for not Jackass punked sorry ye and like punks was
and this dude was like, all right, when needs to go,
We're gonna wire you up. Go to Central Park and
just like fuck with people. And I I went there
and I just went up to people and I was
like what do I say?
Speaker 4 (23:31):
They were like catch them in lives, like catch him
in the face.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
Yeah, wait what it's like practical, like you want the job,
practical jokers, Yeah, seal volcanoes in your ear, going like
do something funny. Yeah, And I just I didn't really
bomb because I was just like I'm not doing this.
I can't do this. I think they were just like
the literal premise was like catch someone in a lie,
make it about a party last night, and like, hey,
(23:57):
you're from the party.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
I was. I tried it.
Speaker 3 (24:00):
I was like, premise, you're in a party, You're from
the party last night, and they were like no, I wasn't.
And I was like I'll see you guys later. I
tried like once or twice. He does yeah, I guess
it's not working.
Speaker 2 (24:12):
Guys. Yea with a redre with a recdre.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Relationship bombs. Oh man, yeah yeah, relationship bombs.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Ship.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (24:34):
You don't how to get into it now, but we
just want to. We just want to see it in
your eyes.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Oh man. I uh yeah, yeah. No, I'm sad.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I'm really sad. No, No, I'm not thank you. Yeah,
I'm happy.
Speaker 1 (24:52):
No.
Speaker 3 (24:52):
I I had a thing where, oh man, I was
doing a show and and I don't know if this
is me bombing, this was just insane, but like I
was doing a show with the whitest kid you know,
and I don't know it was. It was like Tuesday
Night at eleven in New York days New York Raffife,
(25:15):
late night Tuesday Night Raffife, which.
Speaker 4 (25:18):
Was like probably the hottest spot at the time.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
It was the hottest spot sun.
Speaker 1 (25:22):
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
And I was like twenty five and I was dating
a girl that was thirty five.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
She was like way older, more mature, she had a
good job and everything. I was like, why are you
dating me?
Speaker 3 (25:32):
And she before the show was drinking at a bar
or like eating at a bar. She left her friends
and like or her friends left and she was like
waiting to see my show and somebody started buying her drinks.
Turns out it was Sam Shepherd, like the legendary American
playwright Sam And so Sam Shepherd comes to Art teak
(25:59):
around like disgusting comedy idiot had and and he just
like like watches it.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
He's like, this isn't True West, clearly.
Speaker 3 (26:09):
Like hitting on my girlfriend. I was just like, why
why did you bring Sam Shepherd? What's going on? And
I was like psyched. I was like he's gonna see us,
We're really good or whatever. And she was like he
just like bought me a drink. And I was like, oh,
that's weird, but it's Sam Shepherd, right, that's fine. And
then we did the show and he was like holding court.
We were like, hey man, true West right.
Speaker 1 (26:31):
He was like yeah, yeah, good job man.
Speaker 3 (26:34):
That was fucking funny. It reminds me of my life,
reminds me of the sixties, like experimental theater and saying
all this bullshit to me and he's like just trying
to fuck my friend. I was like, I think my
mind was just like I'm not even going to accept
that he's.
Speaker 4 (26:47):
Trying to fuck me. It's kind of a compliment.
Speaker 3 (26:50):
It is a compliment, but it was just at the time,
I was like, fuck, fuck you.
Speaker 2 (26:54):
You know.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
She goes, I'm gonna go outside and just say goodbye
to Sam, but I'm not going to do anything. But
and I was like, don't do it, and she was like,
I just he wants to say goodbye. And I was
all right, whatever, he's a legend. And I like went
to the window and like watched them and she didn't
kiss him or anything. And that ended our relationship. I
was like, okay, we got to like end the relationship.
(27:16):
Why a bomb? It wasn't working, But that was like
you shouldn't.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
It was.
Speaker 3 (27:22):
It was a thing where I was just like you
you shouldn't be with me.
Speaker 4 (27:26):
Like I I'm holding you back from Sam Shepherd.
Speaker 3 (27:29):
No, just your thirty five. Like I was like, this
is not it's not gonna this is not gonna last.
I need to way more psychos than the Yeah. Yeah,
but that was that was pretty Uh, that was pretty intense.
Speaker 1 (27:42):
That's fine. That was That was That was a bomb
of a in those days. What was the did you
do trashy clause with John Gambling? Yeah, trashy clause.
Speaker 3 (27:52):
John Gambling's character Trashy clause was one of the funniest.
He just had like real trash. He went to a
dumpster and got a real trash bag and handed out
like disgusting ketchup covered like McDonald's. The audience was discuss.
Speaker 4 (28:07):
It was so he found a resource and he's just like,
put disgusting to give you actual garbage.
Speaker 2 (28:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Vic Bernardo told me he went to some experimental show
at the Bowery Poetry Room and he had to go
on and tell jokes after this woman pissed in a
bowl of spaghetti and ate it.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
Oh man.
Speaker 1 (28:26):
And he's like, that's before I realized I shouldn't do
variety shows anymore. I should just like comedy only.
Speaker 4 (28:32):
There's a lot of variety shows in New York. I
feel like I performed after a woman who pulled like,
you know, a scroll out of her vagina, which is, you.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
Know, interesting wow.
Speaker 4 (28:41):
And then I'm going there and I'm like, it's crazy,
you know, having apartments and like paying rent right right,
And she's like I just read that scene is where
I met Brodie Stevens.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Like the surf Reality that was the weirdo place that
was like experimental reality because you're surfing reality just cresting. Like,
but do you remember like Reverend Jen, the girl who
dresses an elf and always if she was out of
her house, she always had elf ears on she was.
Speaker 1 (29:18):
She was part of that.
Speaker 3 (29:19):
And there was a guy called zero Boy, and then
the guy who was soy bomb who like who can
tell his bomb box? Yeah, exactly at the Grammys. He
was like part of that scene. Then Brodie Stevens was
like the normalist probably guy in that scene just like
doing that. He was doing like.
Speaker 1 (29:41):
Doing stand up, you know, so it was like a
little bit more normal. But yeah, that.
Speaker 3 (29:45):
Scene was cool, and that's like what you see. B
was at the very tip top, Like it seemed like
there were more just like New York City freakazoids there
and it.
Speaker 1 (29:54):
Was outsider outside. Shout out to Johnny Conroy.
Speaker 4 (30:00):
My first, my very first open mic was in North
Hollywood and this guy I like knew from an acting
class or something was there and I ran him outside
and he was like really excited to show me his
new bit, and I was like, what do you mean
show me your new bit. I'll just see it on stage,
and he was like, oh, I gotta show you. And
then he like opened up his pants and pulled his
(30:21):
pants down, and he had like a photorealistic knit fake
dick that he was like hell ya, like he could.
He was like, well, the end of my act, I'm
going to reveal myself to the audience. But it's not
illegal if it's not your actual penis. Oh boy, And
I was like, so you found the loop.
Speaker 3 (30:37):
The loophole too exposing yourself.
Speaker 4 (30:40):
Also at that point, like the week before I saw him,
he did not have good teeth, and that week he
had like full caps, like full like yeah, full veniers,
just like, oh my god.
Speaker 1 (30:51):
There was this. When I first took a Groundlings class,
they'd put you in this like like preliminary one off
glass with everybody to separate the people that have like
at least just a teeny bit of stageperience, the total
yahoos who's never stepped on stage once in their life,
like complete like coming from an absolute amateur position, like
(31:16):
this is their first time ever venturing. Yeah, so it's
a real simple class. The guy like just pairs people.
He's like, go up there and do a bit about
a yoga class. Go over there and say the first thing.
And I'm like, this is going to be a train
wreck just something in my bones. I was like, this
(31:37):
is about to be a fucking disaster because half these
people are Hollywood yahoos who have like thousand yards stare
and their eye like clearly like undiagnosed quack of doodles
on the street, like yeah, I could do comedy. There's
you there are like yeah, I'm like I can do
like you know, I want to get into comedy writing.
(31:58):
I'm somewhat saying enough to pursue a career or at
least a hobby. But some people were just complete wagged
as this one. This one guy, I saw it happening
as it was happening. The groundling Seazer goes, all right,
he picks this guy, this middle aged white guy who
looks like a Tim and Eric character, who's like incredibly white.
(32:21):
He's got khakis and a blue button up shirt that
he like he works at Blockbuster Video or best Buy, so.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
He's got great style.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
He's got a great style. He's very like like looks
like Iowa bread, looks like he's never met a black
person in his life, very pale and corny. And this
is like twenty years ago. I'm gonna say yeah and
then and then He's like, okay, whatever his name was,
all right, Greg, you go up with Janet and he
(32:50):
picked like the only black girl in the class. And
they had to improvise their whole scene. And I'm like,
I already know this white guy's gonna say something race
and it brought just my Spidey sense. Everything came to that.
I'm like, something's gonna just be catastrophic, and boy did
I predict. So all they had to do was improv
(33:11):
They could make up whatever they wanted. They could be
like friends, they could be a husband and wife.
Speaker 2 (33:15):
Yea.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
And the guy in the first millisecond started touching her
hair never better before. And he goes and the first
thing out of his mouth he was like, I love
being your slave owner, old Bessie. Your prettiest.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
On my on my plantation sounds.
Speaker 1 (33:41):
Girl, it's so.
Speaker 3 (33:45):
Slapped him across the good Wow.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
It was like fuck you and ran out. He might
have said the N word in the middle of his
field too. Sounds like I was coming.
Speaker 3 (33:57):
Here's a good way for me to framing able to
say the end, make the black person I'm in with us.
Speaker 4 (34:03):
Yeah, Like, oh finally, okay, pace, first off the wall,
you got it.
Speaker 3 (34:07):
You gotta set the where and what. You're my slave,
I'm your master. Let's go the same time.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I'm touching a girl. I fucking win today.
Speaker 3 (34:16):
You know I live in Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (34:18):
She slaps some prossive face. Oh man, screams out of
she runs outside. Then he runs after her, apologizing outside
the teachers like this. He's like, I guess I gotta
go out there and mediate this fucking trade.
Speaker 3 (34:34):
Yeah, oh man, Yeah, I taught improv, and there was
a sight. There was always a fucking like yeah, some
like guy who's like, people tell me I'm pretty funny
and just like from like upstate New York or whatever,
and just drive down for UCB classes and they just
want to touch women like they just like they striper hooker,
and I'm gonna fucking touch you, like it's a lot.
Speaker 4 (34:58):
Of fuck Like yeah, it's a lot of like happy,
happy anniversary, babe.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
It's like.
Speaker 1 (35:05):
A little.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
Wow, it's our wedding night.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
Oh man.
Speaker 3 (35:10):
Yeah, time to touch a lot.
Speaker 4 (35:15):
I don't think we should have improth That's what I say.
Speaker 3 (35:18):
Improv is just well, no, I love.
Speaker 4 (35:22):
I don't think you should let anybody do it. We
should have the same rules for getting the gun or
maybe more rules. There's no rules forgetting Yeah, you should
have more gone to the new improv classes.
Speaker 3 (35:35):
Yeah yeah, everybody's taking a shot.
Speaker 2 (35:38):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:39):
Yeah. What's the worst show you've ever seen?
Speaker 2 (35:41):
Where?
Speaker 1 (35:41):
Improv show you've ever seen or been a part of,
or rock show or whatever. Yeah, not even you didn't
even have to be a part of it, just like
you saw like fucking oh man, Alice Cooper fucking cry
blood on stage. Man.
Speaker 3 (35:56):
I walked out of a really sad Bob Dylan show
one time.
Speaker 1 (35:59):
Actually, my friend saw him live and he said, he's
the worst performer he's ever seen. Why it sounds like
he's gargling. No, he's gargling, Well, yes that, but he
just sounds like he's gargling razor blades with my friend
said that was it.
Speaker 3 (36:12):
He like had no voice and he was singing I
think Ballad of a Thin Man or something, which is
a song I like. And it took me like two
minutes to figure out, oh, this is a song I recognized,
Like you couldn't understand the words at all, and he
was playing this organ and he was like kind of
not facing the audience. No but no, but people people
were like, oh, you got it.
Speaker 1 (36:31):
You caught him on a really bad like you have.
Speaker 3 (36:32):
To see him because he still is good, like even
in his eighties, like he can muster together. It's just
most shows are bad, and he's addicted to touring. He's
never stopped me.
Speaker 4 (36:43):
He's a complete He's a complete ut No, yeah, I
got to check it out.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
I haven't seen it.
Speaker 4 (36:50):
Oh no, just his music.
Speaker 3 (36:51):
I mean, oh you got to see his music. Yeah,
you got to check out his music.
Speaker 2 (36:55):
Good.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
So I don't think Joni Mitchell likes it. So Bob Dylan,
that's the worst show you ever seen?
Speaker 3 (37:00):
No, I think I've seen worse. That just kind of
popped into my mind, is like I can't believe I'm leaving.
I was like looking around, going, I'm leaving a Bob Dylan,
Like I love Bob Dylan.
Speaker 1 (37:08):
What am I doing? But it sucked. Jesse Potp told me,
I go, what's the worst comedy show You've ever seen?
And I think he's going to be like, uh yeah,
the fucking Alligator loungees I think, uh no, I thought
he was going to say something like that and he goes.
The worst show I've ever been to is when I
took my mom to see George Carlin, and I go
George Carlin just after George Carlin's the best, one of
(37:30):
the best comics of all time. He goes, he used
to be He's like completely crazy. Now I go, what
do you mean? It is right before Carlin died. He goes, Dude,
I brought my mom because she's a fan. That's her generation.
I thought it was going to be this great mother's
son kind of fun birthday gift, you know, yeh yeah,
(37:50):
he's he's from your generation to generation. He goes, have
you heard any of his new stuff or stuff that
he's practiced recently. I'm like, no, I didn't mean, I know,
like the classic Carlin specials from like the eighties and seventies.
He's like, dude. His opening joke was like I want
to drag the teenage girl to the woods and her
(38:11):
log cabin cut her, put me out and disembodied, and
his mom like, oh my god, Texas Chansaw massacre what
I'm talking about?
Speaker 4 (38:24):
And with the point, Yeah, there was no point anyway,
That's just something I want to do.
Speaker 1 (38:28):
WHOA, that's a show I want to see.
Speaker 3 (38:30):
Yeah, that's I was never a huge Carlin fan. I
mean that's that's that's obviously not something you're supposed to say.
I was never like I was like I like Eddie Murphy,
not George Carlin, like when I was a little kid.
I understand he's very important to comedy, but I want
to see that version like.
Speaker 1 (38:46):
Yeah, I said he was just melting down, like super
embarrassing from his mom. She's like, what the hell?
Speaker 3 (38:52):
Oh man, Yeah, I've been the Yeah, like comedy shows
I've I've done.
Speaker 1 (38:59):
I did a show over the improv when it's bad.
Speaker 3 (39:01):
Improv when it's bad is one of the word.
Speaker 4 (39:04):
But when it's good, it's also bad.
Speaker 1 (39:07):
Well, it's like bad improv shows I've been to. I like,
it's it's like they should be illegal.
Speaker 3 (39:14):
Yeah, there's nothing worse than bad theater. Bad theater because
there's a script that they're going through. Improv, like there
is a certain amount of like all right, let's move
to the next scene, and then that scene won't work
and they'll be like I'm watching horrible improv. But bad
theater you're like really held hostage hostage. I've Broadway shows
(39:35):
where it's just like, oh, this show just doesn't work
and I don't understand why. But the vibe is not there.
Someone's not excited about this, and it is hell.
Speaker 4 (39:44):
It's like hell to get through, really bad like three
hours bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I met a very bad show.
Speaker 3 (39:54):
I remember seeing Raid. The first time I saw Rage
against the Machine. It was at like one of the
early lollapaloozas, and it was like we just but we
didn't know who they were. They weren't famous and okay,
and they went on it like four in the afternoon,
and I remember me and my middle school buddies were
(40:14):
watching this ship and Zach de Laroka comes out and goes.
Speaker 2 (40:19):
What you tell me?
Speaker 3 (40:19):
And You're like, who was this fucking white wrapper?
Speaker 2 (40:22):
Nerd?
Speaker 1 (40:23):
You were a cop back then we took off. I
was a cop back.
Speaker 4 (40:27):
Very on top of America back then.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
I was like, yeah, I was the skinhead cop.
Speaker 4 (40:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (40:33):
So I wasn't into what they were. I wasn't into
what they were laying down. Oh man, I'm sure. Yeah,
there's gotta be bad shows, and that what's a bad
fucking show?
Speaker 4 (40:43):
They're all you know, I think they're all bad all shows. No,
I think no, no, no, there's a lot of really
good shows, of course, But like I think, in general,
if there's a show that you haven't seen, it's it's
bad because because there was a reason you didn't see it.
You know, there's more bad shows in the world.
Speaker 1 (41:02):
I took my mom to Street No More and she
was like, you like it? No, She was like, why
is it so dark in here? I go, Mom, you
gotta be quiet. I could put the mask on. She goes,
this mask wasn't made for Jewish noses. It's hurting my face.
And then she keeps like putting the thing up, and
I'm like, mom, you got a whisper. It's an interactive play?
Speaker 4 (41:23):
Is that one?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
She goes, you told me a play. I thought there'd
be seats. I'm standing for hours. I'm exhausted. I'm like,
stop complaining. This is fucking art. And then she's like, no,
I'm sitting. And she would just sit on Pride. Yeah,
she would sit on set back and her mask.
Speaker 3 (41:43):
Well, people will think you're a part of the show.
If you don't have the mask on, that makes you blank,
right mask A so you're in the show as like
a modern dressed person. I don't know even know where
my son is.
Speaker 1 (41:57):
I remember she's checking her voicemails all loud and sh yeah,
clearly not a play.
Speaker 3 (42:03):
I'm walking the whole through a hallway.
Speaker 4 (42:06):
Remember that ship, Like she'd be like this is cool.
She was like, I think that's really cool. I like
that immersive theater.
Speaker 3 (42:13):
I love immersive theater.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
Yeah, it's amazing. Sleep No More was cool.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
I feel like there was a thing with like the
would always be like, oh, de la Guardo. You know,
it's like the best theater production. And like when Leonardo
DiCaprio was there, they took them up into the ceiling
and they fucking bounced them around and stuff, and then
it would be like, oh, Sleep No More. Well, Leonardo
DiCaprio went to sleep and they fucked a girl and
(42:37):
you go and you're like, oh this is some good
sexy show and people are naked and you're like, oh,
it's a little bit withhold it didn't get it. There's
a big sex orgy, there's a but it's nothing great.
I don't know, Like I just like I wanted to like, yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:50):
It to be way more. Forgot about GUARDI remember Day.
Speaker 3 (42:53):
La Guarda, like they people would fly.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
I never saw it. I was too broken those days
to get tickets at anything.
Speaker 4 (42:59):
Yeah, I mean they're still and I think I'm still
too broadfrad. There's another like Sleep No More show that
is even weirder. Apparently it just opened.
Speaker 3 (43:08):
Really yeah, I'll go to the same guy.
Speaker 1 (43:10):
I love that ship.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
I just wanted to be that too.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
Yes, it's going to Sleep No More where you finally
get to fu Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:17):
Yeah, you finally get to fucking finally do what Leo did.
Speaker 4 (43:20):
Yeah, version some girl just as.
Speaker 3 (43:24):
Like, yeah, time the funk.
Speaker 1 (43:25):
Oh wow, I guess that was a good play.
Speaker 4 (43:27):
Good review from Sleep even Less.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
Yeah, well I didn't do any sleeping in there.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
All I learned is people want to fuck me.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
That's got his theater experience. Well, this was great. Good
to see you guys. Yeah, good to see you too, man. Yeah,
John Daily.
Speaker 2 (43:46):
Everyone with Aeric Condre.
Speaker 1 (43:52):
Finding with Eric Andre is brought to you by Will
Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts. Our executive
producers Olivia, a producer is Bei Wang, our research assistant
is David Carliner, our editor and sound designers Andy Harris,
and our art is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us
five stars and drop a review on your podcast app
a choice.
Speaker 7 (44:10):
All right, listen up, We've also got something special.
Speaker 1 (44:12):
For You got a burning story that you're iss going
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Now is your chance to tell me about it. I
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Worthy what the fuck was I thinking moments, So pick
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Four and leave me a voicemail
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