August 13, 2025 • 31 mins
Here's an oldie! Eric and close pal Ron Funches discuss their first time doing stand-up and meeting in Portland. Whenever he bombed he would look up Craigslist posting of jobs. The major shift from moving to Salem from Chicago and his first experience with smoking weed. Gym and jiu-jitsu routines are discussed and Ron's experience eating a sucker and being surrounded by senior citizens. They open up about keeping their brains healthy and staying at bay from anxiety. Plus, a bombing story from Japan.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's a brand new week on Bombing with Eric Andre,
the podcast where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and
other lunatics about their worst moments on stage and getting
wrecked by a live audience. We got a wonderful guest.
This guy I've known for years. He's one of the
funniest guys. You've seen them all over television, movies, cartoons,
super funny stand up, polar opposite and energy for me,
(00:21):
and that's why I love him even more. My buddy,
Ron Funches. He's got a long career in stand up.
He's got great stories. His daily routine includes jiu jitsu
and weed. He's got stories from being high as fucking
hell on an airplane with a bunch of women that
looked like they were the cast of the Golden Girls,
and him being booed off the stage and running into
a van and looking for jobs on Craigslist. He bombed
(00:42):
so hard, let's do it. Ron Funches Bombing with Eric Andre.
All right, did they tell you anything about this podcast
called Bombing?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I heard a bit I've heard the name and then
made me feel like I understood it, But that was
about it.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Have you ever bombed while doing stand up? Comedy. How
long have you been doing stand up comedy?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Sixteen years?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Sixteen years, it's a long time, yeah, fair amount. And
you started an organ yeah, sure of the Portland Comedy Vessel.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I started Harvey's Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
The first time I saw you on stage was at
the Portland Comedy Vessel.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I remember that.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That was cool. Yeah, he crushed you and you were
like you wouldn't even open your eyes on stage. Yeah,
well you would like sleep on stage. Well, I was
captivated by it. Yeah, I have a vivid memory. And
you kind of be like side turned in a distinctive
(01:43):
point of view.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, di thinc the point of view and low, very
low energy, very low energy.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, I loved that. I was like shocked by that,
thank you, because I had very high energy. Yeah, still do. Yeah,
because I'm nervous. It's a nervous energy. But I'm not
here to talk about me even a little bit. Well yeah,
a little bit. Okay, I'm very insecure, tremendously. Okay. What's
(02:11):
the worst you've ever bombed on stitch?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
The worst I've ever bought, like for like a long time. Yeah,
I mean the one that always sticks out in my
head was. I did a show in Tacoma, Washington at
this place that was a converted used to be a
bank and they converted it into a nightclub and I
(02:35):
just did it. From the moment I got on stage.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
They didn't have any.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Interest in anything.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Why was it? Why was it so doomed? Were you
the open headliner? Were the opener?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The opener?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Who was?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Who was the headliner?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It was?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
This was like in the beginning of me doing comedy.
So I was working with a lot of bar comics
and road comics, and it's this guy named Joe font
Note is now dead, all.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Right, Pete, Well ye.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Joe, yeah, yeah, just he was tough, classic, real like
to learn about comedy. Great headliner to start with, like
being like, don't be like any of this, like this
guy at all. He would crush though, because he had
very chaotic energy and his jokes were very running the mill.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
So you're at this bank, Yeah, I'm at this coins headlining.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
He's headlining.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I'm hoping this is how many a decades ago? What?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, about fourteen years.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So you're like, yeah, you're up and coming, you're figuring
it out.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, and they.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Ask you to do this show. You go to what
was Spokane, Washington. Was it Tacoma, Tacoma Washington, maybe tuck Willa,
tuckle Willa. So you're you're in the middle of nowhere
in the mountain forest mountains, and you're at this bank
that is now a nightclub, and just what they weren't having.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It, just a dull murmur. It's like March first.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I remember, and I remember the date.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh I do remember the day because it comes to
your play, but I don't remember the year.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Do you remember the day?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then all of a sudden, just two guys just
walk in and they're just being very loud like, just
like they obviously super regulars, and they're just like, Hey,
what up, Sam, Oh man, what's going on tonight?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Oh y'all got comedy show tonight. Oh y'all got my
man over here doing comedy. Oh y'all got a brother
doing coffee. Oh y'all do you do your thing? Man?
I'm just going and it just keeps going and going there,
keep going. And then that's why I remember it was
March first, because I just go like, oh man, it's
only one day after Black History Month and I'm hating niggas,
And I thought for some reason that I would kill
(04:54):
it did not work out.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All audience with Jordy White.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I guess get back, Yeah I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You had a majority of black audience, Vie.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And they turned on me hard. They were booing me.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, your off yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Literally, and then I just I didn't even stay in
the venue. I went and just sat in the van
that we rode in until the show was Oh that sucks.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah. Were you just like you were miserable? Oh truly
you were miserable?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Did you weep? No?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I didn't cry, but I thought about quitning. I called
my first wife and be like, why do I do this?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Then? Did you call your first wife at the time,
my first wife? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, anyone could see, so I said first wife, first wife,
You're like first wife.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
He was very popular at the time. It really made sense,
and it's called and complained and was like, I don't
want to do comedy. My normal thing if I when
I bought real hard is when I would go look
at like job postings. Yeah, that's why I knew I bought.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Super hard, let me go kind of jobs.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Anything. I didn't have skills, so car dealership whatever, yeah,
whatever did not require a lot of education skills.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Did you go to school?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I went to community college for three weeks. I didn't
like it.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
People.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It was like high school, but they were smoking cigarette
so the air quality was worse.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What was your major going to be?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
How are you in high school?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Good? Solid? I was good? Yeah, yeah, that was naturally
good at school. But I wasn't. I had no interest
in anything. I had no desire to work in it. No.
I grew up mostly in Chicago and then moved to Salem,
Oregon when I was thirteen.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Why'd you move to Salem, Oregon at thirteen?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
That's where my dad was living and he was getting
in construction and there was a big construction boom in Oregon.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh really, So you're in Chicago. So you're really a
Chicago guy you grew.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
As a kid. Yeah, I'm a Chicago, Chicago kid.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You grew up in Chicago, Yes, and then you would
just Salem. Yeah that's a shock for a kid.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh yeah, it's a big cultural shift.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's a that's tough. That had to be tough for you.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, it really was.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I had to throw.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You it, truly did sometimes Did.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You feel kind of out of place? Yeah? Of course,
do you always feel out of place? Yeah, but you
found especially out of place in Salem. Yeah, but I
think what's going on in Salem? Nothing, there's nothing going on.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That damn thing is going on in Salem.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I've never even I've never even heard of Salem.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's not much to hear.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
But it's on the ocean. No, it's just in the middle.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's an hour south of Portland.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Portland's on the ocean, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
No, don't let the port thing confusion.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, it's on a river or something.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah it is. Yeah, it is a stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, so there's a river out there.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And that's when you started smoking weed?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah and over again for sure.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You started to blazing. Oh yeah, is that when you
started smoking weed with white people?
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The first people I smoked weed with were Mexican?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Really?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
And did you mention that while you were smoking weed.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
With This is delightful. I'm going to surprise THO.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I was smoking weed. What's going on in Salem? I'm
trying to paint a picture of thirteen year old Salem
Ron funches.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Why I didn't smoke weed? I sixteen, sixteen years old?
School was boring. I wasn't really enjoying anything. My friends
were smoking weed, and I was like, I'm not going
to smoke weed because I want to be a good person.
And then that was later I was like, I'm bored,
I'm super bored. I'll go smoke weed. And so I
went to a trailer park that my friends lived in.
(09:07):
My friend Lo Lo. We smoked weed out of a
wizard bomb let's go, very classic, true, classic.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Way to get onto it.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And then I just was like, red vines tastes better
than ever before.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, and then you're in love with that, oh yeah,
and then from then on you have a new passion and.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
New passion take breaks every now and then, but other
than that, it's my main thing.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Do you smoke in the morning if I have the
day off, what's your typical smoke schedule.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Typical smoke schedule. If I'm working, if I'm shooting a show,
then I don't smoke in the morning, and I just
wait till I get back home and smoke about.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like in the evening before dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
If I have the day off or I've come in
here to do a podcast, then I tend to get up,
work out, then I'll smoke a ball, play some video games,
handle some work, and then usually like I don't smoke.
I smoke like a every day, but like a small amount.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You told me that you smoked weed and went to
the gym. H. But it sounds like in this new schedule,
you go to the gym, then you switched it up.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sometimes it depends on Yeah, I switch it up because
I don't want to be too high on cardio stuff.
But I started doing jiu jitsu, and I like to
smoke weed before I go to.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh that's cool. Yeah, I want to do jujitsu.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You should.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I'm intimidated by it. Don't. Yeah, it seems scared me.
It seems gym.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's more spiritual and fun.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Have you ever been like way too high like this
is I'm too high for jiu jitsu? No, just for
in general. Have you ever taken like an edible that
was way too big or something what was like the
most like oh regrettable, Like I'm way too stoned.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
One time I was on a flight coming back from
a show and I took a I ate this sucker
that I didn't think was very I think it's coming
back from New York and I ate this sucker that
I didn't think was very powerful at all.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
And I.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Don't know, I'm guess from now, it feels like it
felt like somewhere between seventy five and one hundred. I
get on the plane and it's the first time I'd
ever seen this on the plane where my seat is
in the very back of the plane and kind of
a bench pattern. So there's like two ladies sitting on
the left of me, and then two ladies that sit
(11:20):
on the right on me, and they all know each other. Oh,
and I'm right in the middle, and you're high and
I'm high, and shit, and it really starts kicking in.
I just started sweating and I hear them chatting and
and then suddenly I hear them all just like look
over and yeah, and they just stop talking to each other.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, it was a horrible time.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So there is too much for you a week, oh
for sure, Because and what's the tipping point? Because all
weed that experience is any amount of weed For me, really,
I have like the tiniest puff of a joint and
I'm like sweating between four ladies talking about me in
my mind when you made it sound good, no, we
(12:08):
I'm like a mess on weed. I can't tell people
are mad at me. I can't tell if the situation
is awkward.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I spiral, so you feel I always feel like weeds
more Like you talk about alcohol being a blocker, and
I feel like marijuana, like cases, is an enhancer. And
sometimes if you have like this anxiety or if you
have these insecurities, that it will actually shine a light
on them, and you think that is what happens to you.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, and it also has a depressive quality to it
for me, where I kind of like ruminate on the
bad thoughts that I can like keep at bay while
I'm sober or drown out while I'm drunk.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Do you still meditate a lot?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah? I meditated ye today.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, it's fun. It's really fun because I always thought
that was because you were so peaceful, and then I
realized it because you need, like I need to medic.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, unravel quickly unravel. There's so much I do in
my day to just keep like alive, like journal, therapy
three times a week, exercise almost every day, Like half
of my day is to just like keeping my brain
in one piece.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I think that's beautiful though. I think that's like the
fight of all of life.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The fight of life. Yeah, it really is the fight
of life.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, and the fact that you get up and you
fight hard every day is commendable.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's exhausting, though. I want to just wake up and
not have anxiety.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, I want to wake up and not think the
fucking that I need to. Like that. Three cheeseburgers sound good.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Cheeseburgers is good. It is good for your taste buds. Yeah.
Not the rest of your bodies. No, but it's good.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Back and forth, I get real focus and healthy. And
then I'm lying I should beat twelve cookies.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, I mean every once in a while you can
eat twell cookies. Yeah, you need like a couple of cookies.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
They become s vials for me real quickly, because like
I go on a spree.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Well that's the something about weed for me, because if
I'm trying to behave on my eating weed, forget it.
Then I want to eat a whole thing of bed
and cherries. I get the munchies.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah. I don't find that. I maybe I do, and
I just don't admit to it. I don't know, but
I don't feel I never I'm like, oh I'm stone.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I want to eat whatever'swelve cookie cheeseburger conversation. We're just having.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Well, I feel like that's just me, regular me if
I'm at work and I'm sober.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh really, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's not a stone it No, it's just I wan't
want the food I want, especially sugar. Oh once I
get going on sugar.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, Hawaian punch is so good.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't like Hawaiian.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I like Coca cola.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, I like Coca cola and ice cream. Yeah, now
you're talking.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Boy, it's so good. I'll never quit. I try to
quit sugar. I want you a hypnotis to try to
grow sugar. Can't do it. Life spent. I just can't.
I can't stop living life. Yeah, kids of a joint
left because life is hard. Life is harsh, life is brutal.
(15:10):
So to not have like a cookie at some point, yeah,
it's like come on im. And then you meet the
people that they work out like crazy, and they like
they count their calories every single time, and they're like
they like they're like I don't do any sugar and
I just eat celery and like I'm on Paleo and
(15:31):
all this shit, and they're like nuts and they're like rapped,
but you're like, I don't know, I need to like, yeah,
I want I want some attufe and a little.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I think I just want to make sure everything is
quality and I'm treating myself well. I just don't want
to be eaten like shitty cookies, really good cookiess.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Dipped in milk stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I never heard of this.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's my jam with Aricondre. With Aricondre. Oh,
what's the most wasted you been on stage? Speaking of
(16:18):
one hundred milligram edible sucker.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I mean, I've done a bunch of high shows all
the time.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, but what's like trashol? Have you ever been like
hammerd like you were on md m A on stage
or sometimes you popped off the gas cap of your card,
started huffing and your blood was oiling and you just
went on stage and brought I am but the man
before you. Have you ever had that experience?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I'm trying to remember if I did do that.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I huffed ether on stage one time? Is that?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
What's the R fuels?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
They use it in photo labs and then and it
fuels small propeller planes.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Why did you do that?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I don't remember. Oh, it was a high show and
I go, I don't really smoke weed, but I and
they were like, oh, well, everybody's high on the thing,
and I was like, and I wasn't drinking that much.
Then I was like, I have ether at my house.
I could get a rag and huff ether. And they
were like okay, and then.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Like yeah, I would have been my reaction. Actually, I
would have been like, you don't have to, you know what,
we'll make an exception.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I huffed ether on stage, and it's really dangerous. It's
incredibly flammable. It's so flammable you can't keep it in
your house. And you don't want to be really huffing
indoors that much. Because somebody lights a lighter you can.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I don't think you want to be huffing outdoors.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
It's not it's really bad. I remember huffing ether. My
friend had a Easter party and I was like, I'll
be the ether bunny, and I came and I huffed ether,
and uh, the girl I was dating out of them.
It makes your breath freakak Greek Greek. It smells like
nail polish remover and I was really ripping it, and uh,
it was great. I got really high. It can't be
(18:07):
good for you. No, it's really gnarly. No, it's truly
done a couple of times, and one of the times
was on stage.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I really can't even get to a point where i'd been, like,
I see myself trying. I can't. No, I don't see
that happening for me. I can't do mushrooms on stage.
That's that's to me too far from I did that once.
I get way too like everything seems like it's gonna
be great and none of it hits.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
What about cocaine, I've never done cocaine. I could see
you being a big coke guy. You think I.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Should get into Yeah, I mean I just turned forty.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
And now the time tests your organs.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, but your new baby?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Really did you get a chance to add a new
new hobby?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So you've never been like obliterated on stage?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, just too high on mushrooms? Really?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How was that show? Bad?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Not good? Not a good time? Oh, I can tell
you the highest that I've been on age. I had
not spoken weed in a couple of weeks because I
went to Tokyo and Kyoto and Osaka for New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Trip, and Tokyo for a New Year's Eve trip.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It's a great time.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Last I'm gonna try to do it again this New
Year's Eve. And then in Osaka they have English speaking
comedy club, and so my second wife I said to
her second wife, Uh, I said to her two of three,
(19:38):
let's go check out the comedy you know, let's go
to this open mic and to watch some comedians. And
then I remember how this happened, but somebody in the
club reached out to me and they found I was coming,
and so, unbeknownst to me, the open mic started becoming
promoted as a show. As I was going to be
performing at the show and they were going to open
(19:59):
for me. Didn't tell me any of this, and so
I just was like, I'm gonna go this open mic.
Maybe I'll do a couple of minutes. I had the
last like three edibles that I brought with me to Japan,
and so I took those and because I hadn't been
smoking anything, they were hitting real hard. So I was like, oh,
I go up second or third pap a couple before
we start the show. And then they're like, no, you're
(20:20):
gonna we want you to go last on your rips
yoh yeah. And so I was super fucking high and
I was able to, you know, just add beat my
first time in Japan. Okay, just chalking, okay, But as
soon as I tried to remember your jommy joke, not
a single joke I could remember.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
So you were just like on stage like the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Cat and I look over and his second wife and
I was like, do you remember give me a setup?
And she's just heading her head. I was like, this
is why your second wife. And I just bombed super hard,
and I just remember there was like this drag queen
(21:09):
that was there just watching the show and we talked
before and she's telling me about the show that they
were gonna do later before I bombed. And I get
up there and I'm doing things and I was like, oh,
I'm gonna. I was like, I'll figure it out'll figure
it out. I'm gonna, like I'll figure out joking eventually,
and then the dragon just goes. You could just finish, honey.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
She was right, yeah, yeah, what are we doing it for?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah? But I mean, and that's why I actually I
don't bomb. It doesn't hurt as much anymore because to me,
it was really fun and it was a real marker.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
WI.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
My wife was super mad. She was I have no
idea what she was mad. Second wife was man and
I was like, no, don't you see how fun this is?
Like I'm hey, how the fun did I get to Osaka?
Who the fuck thought that I would ever be in
O soccer Japan doing stand up comedy? And who thought
I bomb open mic in Osaka, Japan? This as fun
(22:09):
as hell. I'm just gonna go to seven eleven and
get some ice cream. And I had a blast. I
loved it. I think bombing is great because I never
played sports. I never did competitive things when I was younger,
And if it wasn't for bombing, I wouldn't know how
to handle failure. It's really helped me go through the marriages.
It's helped me dating and helped me with business. When
(22:33):
people pass on my pitches or whatever, I's like, oh,
I get rejected all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
It's not going to stop rejection. Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. Bombing makes you stronger for sure.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
True, for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You can get through that. You can get through anything.
It is like an emotional death. It's ego death, right,
I don't know what that means all the time, but.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Well it's really the most Yeah, if you asked me
at the time before I started, But if you asked
me what my biggest fear, if you it would probably
been second place to death of being like, oh, what
would it feel like if I bomb? What would it
feel like if I just suck so much and you
go through it and you're like, oh, that fucking sucked,
(23:12):
but I'm still here.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, You're still alive, and you're like, oh, fuck, I
could just have fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I've been loving it now, especially more that I've been
able to work on TV shows and like have money
that's not relying on me touring. I'm just like, oh,
I'm always trying, like fuck, you may.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Hate this, yeah, yeah, that's a great place to be. Yeah,
that's a great you may hate this is a perfect place.
I think it really experiment on stage, you see, and
then if you win, if you find a new joke,
it's the best feeling in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Just keeping that joke fresh is also tough. I feel like, yeah,
because a joke and rot, yeah sucks. I think it's
that's the most painful feeling.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I think jokes rot when you're not being authentic to
the moment when it was like some jokes that were
true in the past.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Right, they were true to your in the past, and
then once they get like you're just phoning them in,
they'll lose their magical.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
No, I'm just gonna read that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah. Yeah. One time I game. I was at Montreal
Comedy Festival, just for the last and I gave James
Adomian ecstasy and I was like, it's strong, so take it.
You know, he's about to go on stage. I'll take
it later. And he was like, you know what, I'm
just gonna take it now because I'm going up first.
You're a soccer storyminus. He's like, I'll just take it
(24:28):
now because I'm going on first, and then when I
get off stage, it'll kick in and I'll be high
and I'll go out on the town and have fun.
He took it, and they kicked him from first to
last on the lineup, and so when he got out
on stage, he was like, oh, like eyes in the
back of his head, and then he was like trying
(24:50):
to get through his first joke and the audience is like,
what the fuck is gouing? God? And then he just
like admitted to the audience. He goes, listen, I took MDMA,
I'm high out of my mind right now and I'm
fucking sailing, and the whole crowd was like and they
were like yeah yeah. And then he just riffed like
on like how he was feeling and like his like
ecstasy experience, and the crowd loved it and then like
(25:12):
it enhanced his high, and then he went out on
the I did M D M A on stage one time,
and it was I bombed, but I never felt better.
I was just like I didn't care that I was bombing.
I was so I was like yeah, and I was like,
I don't even know if I'm bombing or not. I
feel like elated. I felt like I was floating in
(25:35):
a cloud. Now I do ecstasy and I just kind
of melt into a puddle of mercury. It doesn't I
used to be able to take it, and I'd be
chatting all night like I'm just very confident, strutting around
like I'm Hugh Halfan or something. Now I'm just like
(25:56):
but I still in my mind, I think I'm cool.
I'm like, I'm so cool. I want to Vegas for
my fortieth birthday and I took. We all took ecstasy,
and like I saw a video in my brain like
we're like everybody's like smoking a blunt and I like
part we had a party bus and in my brain,
I was like, I'm a fucking cool motherfucker. I'm a
(26:16):
Miles Davis trumpet so low and then I saw the video.
It looked like we can at Bernie something was like
holding me up with a stick. I'm just like, oh, you.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Like a muppet that's being half controlled.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Up with like the puppeteers hand out of it. In
my mind, I was like, that was the cool. That
was jockal training in my mind.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
One time I gave our friend of mine gave James
a doomie and I think his first dab.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Like everybody's just giving James adobie and drugs.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, take yeah, a bumper shoot. We were bumper shooting
Seattle and jameson never taking a dad before I warned him.
I was like, it's gonna be pretty intense, ripped. Yeah,
And he took it and then he just said I
have to go, and then he just walked away and
walked all the way back to his hotel.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah. I've totally been there. It's like I have to go.
I'm just too high. I have to go, but I
get there. That's yeah, we all been there. It's like
it's time for me to exit the situation.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
With aer Condrey. With aer Condrey, what's the word bomb?
You ever seen that?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You weren't? This isn't you like you experienced you witnessed?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I mean I watched some bad comedy specials. It's funny
when people record.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I'm wondering, like live, have ever seen somebody like get
the bottle thrown at them? Or boot I saw somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
They got pepper shaker thrown at them or thought shaker.
I don't remember which one one of the two.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
What what led to that?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Oh? They used even remember that. There's that time period
when Louis C. K was at his utmost power and
a lot of white comedians were like, I could figure
out a way to make an N word in a joke.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Like yeah, that's like the highest steaks.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
And he tried shaker king.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
God, can you tell me who it is?
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Or you're not comedian anymore?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Protected? Okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
If he was still active, I tell.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
You, pepper, where was that.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Portland, Oregon suk Suki's Bar and Grill Is that was
that like the spot, that was the spot because that
was the spot, and nobody listened to you. Everybody would bomb.
Everybody would bomb. So if you got them to listen
to you, if you got them to turn you knew
you you had your jokes.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Really. Yeah, the spots for me in New York when
I was coming up, like they made the boy the man,
you know, like if you could turn it around in
those venues where not a single thing there was conducive
to comedy, it's for some reason they had a comedy
show there that like made you. That's what started giving
you your superpowers.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Yeah, you go into the danger room,
chain training in ten times Gravity, whatever reference you need,
it would always just let you. It would separate the
people who were just like especially you know when you're
starting in your twenties or whatever, and there's just people
there who are like I do this and I do carreaok.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, And those are the shows that
(29:51):
separate the people who are really trying to do it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
It does. If you persevere through that shushing redemption crawl
the sewer, you will you will hopefully you will survive
I think I think it's all about like the half
of it is just like not giving up.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah right, truly, there's no more to be said.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
There's no more to what can be said. Is there
any anything, any scraps left on the table, any bombing
tale that is coming to mind? I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Just again that I think I like bombing. I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
We haven't been recording this old time. Okay, this is
kind of like a war Ron Funches. You've been a
true hero, a true friend, a confidant. It's always a pleasure, truly,
thank you so much for doing the show.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Is always a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Self appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I don't know if you're.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I'll be with Aerre all right, listen up, we got
some special for you. Got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life. Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Babel.
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking? What just happened moment? So
pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing.
(31:24):
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and we might just
play it on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre
is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar,
Our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant is David Carliner.
Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art
(31:44):
is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and
drop a review on your podcast app a choice
It's a brand new week on Bombing with Eric Andre,
the podcast where I talk with friends, comedians, musicians, and
other lunatics about their worst moments on stage and getting
wrecked by a live audience. We got a wonderful guest.
This guy I've known for years. He's one of the
funniest guys. You've seen them all over television, movies, cartoons,
super funny stand up, polar opposite and energy for me,
(00:21):
and that's why I love him even more. My buddy,
Ron Funches. He's got a long career in stand up.
He's got great stories. His daily routine includes jiu jitsu
and weed. He's got stories from being high as fucking
hell on an airplane with a bunch of women that
looked like they were the cast of the Golden Girls,
and him being booed off the stage and running into
a van and looking for jobs on Craigslist. He bombed
(00:42):
so hard, let's do it. Ron Funches Bombing with Eric Andre.
All right, did they tell you anything about this podcast
called Bombing?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I heard a bit I've heard the name and then
made me feel like I understood it, But that was
about it.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Have you ever bombed while doing stand up? Comedy. How
long have you been doing stand up comedy?
Speaker 2 (01:06):
Sixteen years?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Sixteen years, it's a long time, yeah, fair amount. And
you started an organ yeah, sure of the Portland Comedy Vessel.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
I started Harvey's Comedy Club in Portland, Oregon.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
The first time I saw you on stage was at
the Portland Comedy Vessel.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I remember that.
Speaker 1 (01:23):
That was cool. Yeah, he crushed you and you were
like you wouldn't even open your eyes on stage. Yeah,
well you would like sleep on stage. Well, I was
captivated by it. Yeah, I have a vivid memory. And
you kind of be like side turned in a distinctive
(01:43):
point of view.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Yeah, di thinc the point of view and low, very
low energy, very low energy.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, I loved that. I was like shocked by that,
thank you, because I had very high energy. Yeah, still do. Yeah,
because I'm nervous. It's a nervous energy. But I'm not
here to talk about me even a little bit. Well yeah,
a little bit. Okay, I'm very insecure, tremendously. Okay. What's
(02:11):
the worst you've ever bombed on stitch?
Speaker 2 (02:14):
The worst I've ever bought, like for like a long time. Yeah,
I mean the one that always sticks out in my
head was. I did a show in Tacoma, Washington at
this place that was a converted used to be a
bank and they converted it into a nightclub and I
(02:35):
just did it. From the moment I got on stage.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
They didn't have any.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Interest in anything.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
Why was it? Why was it so doomed? Were you
the open headliner? Were the opener?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
The opener?
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Who was?
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Who was the headliner?
Speaker 1 (02:50):
It was?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
This was like in the beginning of me doing comedy.
So I was working with a lot of bar comics
and road comics, and it's this guy named Joe font
Note is now dead, all.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
Right, Pete, Well ye.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Joe, yeah, yeah, just he was tough, classic, real like
to learn about comedy. Great headliner to start with, like
being like, don't be like any of this, like this
guy at all. He would crush though, because he had
very chaotic energy and his jokes were very running the mill.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
So you're at this bank, Yeah, I'm at this coins headlining.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
He's headlining.
Speaker 1 (03:33):
I'm hoping this is how many a decades ago? What?
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, about fourteen years.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
So you're like, yeah, you're up and coming, you're figuring
it out.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
Yeah, and they.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Ask you to do this show. You go to what
was Spokane, Washington. Was it Tacoma, Tacoma Washington, maybe tuck Willa,
tuckle Willa. So you're you're in the middle of nowhere
in the mountain forest mountains, and you're at this bank
that is now a nightclub, and just what they weren't having.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
It, just a dull murmur. It's like March first.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
I remember, and I remember the date.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Oh I do remember the day because it comes to
your play, but I don't remember the year.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
Do you remember the day?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
And then all of a sudden, just two guys just
walk in and they're just being very loud like, just
like they obviously super regulars, and they're just like, Hey,
what up, Sam, Oh man, what's going on tonight?
Speaker 3 (04:31):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Oh y'all got comedy show tonight. Oh y'all got my
man over here doing comedy. Oh y'all got a brother
doing coffee. Oh y'all do you do your thing? Man?
I'm just going and it just keeps going and going there,
keep going. And then that's why I remember it was
March first, because I just go like, oh man, it's
only one day after Black History Month and I'm hating niggas,
And I thought for some reason that I would kill
(04:54):
it did not work out.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
All audience with Jordy White.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I guess get back, Yeah I didn't.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
You had a majority of black audience, Vie.
Speaker 2 (05:11):
And they turned on me hard. They were booing me.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Yeah, your off yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:21):
Literally, and then I just I didn't even stay in
the venue. I went and just sat in the van
that we rode in until the show was Oh that sucks.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Yeah. Were you just like you were miserable? Oh truly
you were miserable?
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (05:36):
Did you weep? No?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
I didn't cry, but I thought about quitning. I called
my first wife and be like, why do I do this?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
Then? Did you call your first wife at the time,
my first wife? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Yeah, anyone could see, so I said first wife, first wife,
You're like first wife.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
He was very popular at the time. It really made sense,
and it's called and complained and was like, I don't
want to do comedy. My normal thing if I when
I bought real hard is when I would go look
at like job postings. Yeah, that's why I knew I bought.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Super hard, let me go kind of jobs.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Anything. I didn't have skills, so car dealership whatever, yeah,
whatever did not require a lot of education skills.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Did you go to school?
Speaker 2 (06:29):
I went to community college for three weeks. I didn't
like it.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
People.
Speaker 2 (06:33):
It was like high school, but they were smoking cigarette
so the air quality was worse.
Speaker 1 (06:37):
What was your major going to be?
Speaker 2 (06:40):
Nothing?
Speaker 1 (06:42):
How are you in high school?
Speaker 2 (06:44):
Good? Solid? I was good? Yeah, yeah, that was naturally
good at school. But I wasn't. I had no interest
in anything. I had no desire to work in it. No.
I grew up mostly in Chicago and then moved to Salem,
Oregon when I was thirteen.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Why'd you move to Salem, Oregon at thirteen?
Speaker 2 (07:05):
That's where my dad was living and he was getting
in construction and there was a big construction boom in Oregon.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh really, So you're in Chicago. So you're really a
Chicago guy you grew.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
As a kid. Yeah, I'm a Chicago, Chicago kid.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
You grew up in Chicago, Yes, and then you would
just Salem. Yeah that's a shock for a kid.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Oh yeah, it's a big cultural shift.
Speaker 1 (07:26):
That's a that's tough. That had to be tough for you.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
Yeah, it really was.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
I had to throw.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
You it, truly did sometimes Did.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
You feel kind of out of place? Yeah? Of course,
do you always feel out of place? Yeah, but you
found especially out of place in Salem. Yeah, but I
think what's going on in Salem? Nothing, there's nothing going on.
Speaker 2 (07:45):
That damn thing is going on in Salem.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
I've never even I've never even heard of Salem.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
It's not much to hear.
Speaker 1 (07:51):
But it's on the ocean. No, it's just in the middle.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
It's an hour south of Portland.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Portland's on the ocean, isn't it.
Speaker 2 (07:57):
No, don't let the port thing confusion.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Yeah, it's on a river or something.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah it is. Yeah, it is a stuff.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, so there's a river out there.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
Sure.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And that's when you started smoking weed?
Speaker 2 (08:14):
Yeah and over again for sure.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
You started to blazing. Oh yeah, is that when you
started smoking weed with white people?
Speaker 2 (08:21):
The first people I smoked weed with were Mexican?
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Really?
Speaker 2 (08:23):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (08:24):
And did you mention that while you were smoking weed.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
With This is delightful. I'm going to surprise THO.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
I was smoking weed. What's going on in Salem? I'm
trying to paint a picture of thirteen year old Salem
Ron funches.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Why I didn't smoke weed? I sixteen, sixteen years old?
School was boring. I wasn't really enjoying anything. My friends
were smoking weed, and I was like, I'm not going
to smoke weed because I want to be a good person.
And then that was later I was like, I'm bored,
I'm super bored. I'll go smoke weed. And so I
went to a trailer park that my friends lived in.
(09:07):
My friend Lo Lo. We smoked weed out of a
wizard bomb let's go, very classic, true, classic.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Way to get onto it.
Speaker 2 (09:15):
And then I just was like, red vines tastes better
than ever before.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, and then you're in love with that, oh yeah,
and then from then on you have a new passion and.
Speaker 2 (09:23):
New passion take breaks every now and then, but other
than that, it's my main thing.
Speaker 1 (09:28):
Do you smoke in the morning if I have the
day off, what's your typical smoke schedule.
Speaker 2 (09:33):
Typical smoke schedule. If I'm working, if I'm shooting a show,
then I don't smoke in the morning, and I just
wait till I get back home and smoke about.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Like in the evening before dinner.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
If I have the day off or I've come in
here to do a podcast, then I tend to get up,
work out, then I'll smoke a ball, play some video games,
handle some work, and then usually like I don't smoke.
I smoke like a every day, but like a small amount.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
You told me that you smoked weed and went to
the gym. H. But it sounds like in this new schedule,
you go to the gym, then you switched it up.
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Sometimes it depends on Yeah, I switch it up because
I don't want to be too high on cardio stuff.
But I started doing jiu jitsu, and I like to
smoke weed before I go to.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
Oh that's cool. Yeah, I want to do jujitsu.
Speaker 2 (10:23):
You should.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
I'm intimidated by it. Don't. Yeah, it seems scared me.
It seems gym.
Speaker 2 (10:29):
It's more spiritual and fun.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Have you ever been like way too high like this
is I'm too high for jiu jitsu? No, just for
in general. Have you ever taken like an edible that
was way too big or something what was like the
most like oh regrettable, Like I'm way too stoned.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
One time I was on a flight coming back from
a show and I took a I ate this sucker
that I didn't think was very I think it's coming
back from New York and I ate this sucker that
I didn't think was very powerful at all.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
And I.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Don't know, I'm guess from now, it feels like it
felt like somewhere between seventy five and one hundred. I
get on the plane and it's the first time I'd
ever seen this on the plane where my seat is
in the very back of the plane and kind of
a bench pattern. So there's like two ladies sitting on
the left of me, and then two ladies that sit
(11:20):
on the right on me, and they all know each other. Oh,
and I'm right in the middle, and you're high and
I'm high, and shit, and it really starts kicking in.
I just started sweating and I hear them chatting and
and then suddenly I hear them all just like look
over and yeah, and they just stop talking to each other.
Speaker 1 (11:41):
No.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Yeah, it was a horrible time.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So there is too much for you a week, oh
for sure, Because and what's the tipping point? Because all
weed that experience is any amount of weed For me, really,
I have like the tiniest puff of a joint and
I'm like sweating between four ladies talking about me in
my mind when you made it sound good, no, we
(12:08):
I'm like a mess on weed. I can't tell people
are mad at me. I can't tell if the situation
is awkward.
Speaker 2 (12:13):
I spiral, so you feel I always feel like weeds
more Like you talk about alcohol being a blocker, and
I feel like marijuana, like cases, is an enhancer. And
sometimes if you have like this anxiety or if you
have these insecurities, that it will actually shine a light
on them, and you think that is what happens to you.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
Yeah, and it also has a depressive quality to it
for me, where I kind of like ruminate on the
bad thoughts that I can like keep at bay while
I'm sober or drown out while I'm drunk.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Do you still meditate a lot?
Speaker 1 (12:49):
Yeah? I meditated ye today.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yeah, it's fun. It's really fun because I always thought
that was because you were so peaceful, and then I
realized it because you need, like I need to medic.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yeah, unravel quickly unravel. There's so much I do in
my day to just keep like alive, like journal, therapy
three times a week, exercise almost every day, Like half
of my day is to just like keeping my brain
in one piece.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I think that's beautiful though. I think that's like the
fight of all of life.
Speaker 1 (13:24):
The fight of life. Yeah, it really is the fight
of life.
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah, and the fact that you get up and you
fight hard every day is commendable.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
It's exhausting, though. I want to just wake up and
not have anxiety.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Yeah, I want to wake up and not think the
fucking that I need to. Like that. Three cheeseburgers sound good.
Speaker 1 (13:41):
Cheeseburgers is good. It is good for your taste buds. Yeah.
Not the rest of your bodies. No, but it's good.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Back and forth, I get real focus and healthy. And
then I'm lying I should beat twelve cookies.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, I mean every once in a while you can
eat twell cookies. Yeah, you need like a couple of cookies.
Speaker 2 (13:58):
They become s vials for me real quickly, because like
I go on a spree.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Well that's the something about weed for me, because if
I'm trying to behave on my eating weed, forget it.
Then I want to eat a whole thing of bed
and cherries. I get the munchies.
Speaker 2 (14:13):
Yeah. I don't find that. I maybe I do, and
I just don't admit to it. I don't know, but
I don't feel I never I'm like, oh I'm stone.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
I want to eat whatever'swelve cookie cheeseburger conversation. We're just having.
Speaker 2 (14:25):
Well, I feel like that's just me, regular me if
I'm at work and I'm sober.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
Oh really, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
It's not a stone it No, it's just I wan't
want the food I want, especially sugar. Oh once I
get going on sugar.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, Hawaian punch is so good.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I don't like Hawaiian.
Speaker 1 (14:43):
I like Coca cola.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, I like Coca cola and ice cream. Yeah, now
you're talking.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
Boy, it's so good. I'll never quit. I try to
quit sugar. I want you a hypnotis to try to
grow sugar. Can't do it. Life spent. I just can't.
I can't stop living life. Yeah, kids of a joint
left because life is hard. Life is harsh, life is brutal.
(15:10):
So to not have like a cookie at some point, yeah,
it's like come on im. And then you meet the
people that they work out like crazy, and they like
they count their calories every single time, and they're like
they like they're like I don't do any sugar and
I just eat celery and like I'm on Paleo and
(15:31):
all this shit, and they're like nuts and they're like rapped,
but you're like, I don't know, I need to like, yeah,
I want I want some attufe and a little.
Speaker 2 (15:42):
I think I just want to make sure everything is
quality and I'm treating myself well. I just don't want
to be eaten like shitty cookies, really good cookiess.
Speaker 1 (15:53):
Dipped in milk stuff.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
I never heard of this.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, yeah, that's my jam with Aricondre. With Aricondre. Oh,
what's the most wasted you been on stage? Speaking of
(16:18):
one hundred milligram edible sucker.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
I mean, I've done a bunch of high shows all
the time.
Speaker 1 (16:22):
Yeah, but what's like trashol? Have you ever been like
hammerd like you were on md m A on stage
or sometimes you popped off the gas cap of your card,
started huffing and your blood was oiling and you just
went on stage and brought I am but the man
before you. Have you ever had that experience?
Speaker 2 (16:43):
I'm trying to remember if I did do that.
Speaker 1 (16:47):
I huffed ether on stage one time? Is that?
Speaker 2 (16:49):
What's the R fuels?
Speaker 1 (16:52):
They use it in photo labs and then and it
fuels small propeller planes.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
Why did you do that?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
I don't remember. Oh, it was a high show and
I go, I don't really smoke weed, but I and
they were like, oh, well, everybody's high on the thing,
and I was like, and I wasn't drinking that much.
Then I was like, I have ether at my house.
I could get a rag and huff ether. And they
were like okay, and then.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
Like yeah, I would have been my reaction. Actually, I
would have been like, you don't have to, you know what,
we'll make an exception.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
I huffed ether on stage, and it's really dangerous. It's
incredibly flammable. It's so flammable you can't keep it in
your house. And you don't want to be really huffing
indoors that much. Because somebody lights a lighter you can.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
I don't think you want to be huffing outdoors.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
It's not it's really bad. I remember huffing ether. My
friend had a Easter party and I was like, I'll
be the ether bunny, and I came and I huffed ether,
and uh, the girl I was dating out of them.
It makes your breath freakak Greek Greek. It smells like
nail polish remover and I was really ripping it, and uh,
it was great. I got really high. It can't be
(18:07):
good for you. No, it's really gnarly. No, it's truly
done a couple of times, and one of the times
was on stage.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
I really can't even get to a point where i'd been, like,
I see myself trying. I can't. No, I don't see
that happening for me. I can't do mushrooms on stage.
That's that's to me too far from I did that once.
I get way too like everything seems like it's gonna
be great and none of it hits.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
What about cocaine, I've never done cocaine. I could see
you being a big coke guy. You think I.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Should get into Yeah, I mean I just turned forty.
Speaker 1 (18:38):
And now the time tests your organs.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yeah, but your new baby?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Really did you get a chance to add a new
new hobby?
Speaker 1 (18:48):
So you've never been like obliterated on stage?
Speaker 2 (18:50):
No, just too high on mushrooms? Really?
Speaker 1 (18:53):
How was that show? Bad?
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Not good? Not a good time? Oh, I can tell
you the highest that I've been on age. I had
not spoken weed in a couple of weeks because I
went to Tokyo and Kyoto and Osaka for New Year's Eve.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
Trip, and Tokyo for a New Year's Eve trip.
Speaker 2 (19:14):
It's a great time.
Speaker 1 (19:15):
Yeah, it's cool.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Last I'm gonna try to do it again this New
Year's Eve. And then in Osaka they have English speaking
comedy club, and so my second wife I said to
her second wife, Uh, I said to her two of three,
(19:38):
let's go check out the comedy you know, let's go
to this open mic and to watch some comedians. And
then I remember how this happened, but somebody in the
club reached out to me and they found I was coming,
and so, unbeknownst to me, the open mic started becoming
promoted as a show. As I was going to be
performing at the show and they were going to open
(19:59):
for me. Didn't tell me any of this, and so
I just was like, I'm gonna go this open mic.
Maybe I'll do a couple of minutes. I had the
last like three edibles that I brought with me to Japan,
and so I took those and because I hadn't been
smoking anything, they were hitting real hard. So I was like, oh,
I go up second or third pap a couple before
we start the show. And then they're like, no, you're
(20:20):
gonna we want you to go last on your rips
yoh yeah. And so I was super fucking high and
I was able to, you know, just add beat my
first time in Japan. Okay, just chalking, okay, But as
soon as I tried to remember your jommy joke, not
a single joke I could remember.
Speaker 1 (20:44):
So you were just like on stage like the.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Cat and I look over and his second wife and
I was like, do you remember give me a setup?
And she's just heading her head. I was like, this
is why your second wife. And I just bombed super hard,
and I just remember there was like this drag queen
(21:09):
that was there just watching the show and we talked
before and she's telling me about the show that they
were gonna do later before I bombed. And I get
up there and I'm doing things and I was like, oh,
I'm gonna. I was like, I'll figure it out'll figure
it out. I'm gonna, like I'll figure out joking eventually,
and then the dragon just goes. You could just finish, honey.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
She was right, yeah, yeah, what are we doing it for?
Speaker 2 (21:37):
Yeah? But I mean, and that's why I actually I
don't bomb. It doesn't hurt as much anymore because to me,
it was really fun and it was a real marker.
Speaker 1 (21:47):
WI.
Speaker 2 (21:47):
My wife was super mad. She was I have no
idea what she was mad. Second wife was man and
I was like, no, don't you see how fun this is?
Like I'm hey, how the fun did I get to Osaka?
Who the fuck thought that I would ever be in
O soccer Japan doing stand up comedy? And who thought
I bomb open mic in Osaka, Japan? This as fun
(22:09):
as hell. I'm just gonna go to seven eleven and
get some ice cream. And I had a blast. I
loved it. I think bombing is great because I never
played sports. I never did competitive things when I was younger,
And if it wasn't for bombing, I wouldn't know how
to handle failure. It's really helped me go through the marriages.
It's helped me dating and helped me with business. When
(22:33):
people pass on my pitches or whatever, I's like, oh,
I get rejected all the time.
Speaker 1 (22:38):
It's not going to stop rejection. Yeah exactly, Yeah, yeah,
yeah yeah. Bombing makes you stronger for sure.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
True, for sure.
Speaker 1 (22:44):
You can get through that. You can get through anything.
It is like an emotional death. It's ego death, right,
I don't know what that means all the time, but.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Well it's really the most Yeah, if you asked me
at the time before I started, But if you asked
me what my biggest fear, if you it would probably
been second place to death of being like, oh, what
would it feel like if I bomb? What would it
feel like if I just suck so much and you
go through it and you're like, oh, that fucking sucked,
(23:12):
but I'm still here.
Speaker 1 (23:13):
Yeah, You're still alive, and you're like, oh, fuck, I
could just have fun. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (23:17):
I've been loving it now, especially more that I've been
able to work on TV shows and like have money
that's not relying on me touring. I'm just like, oh,
I'm always trying, like fuck, you may.
Speaker 1 (23:29):
Hate this, yeah, yeah, that's a great place to be. Yeah,
that's a great you may hate this is a perfect place.
I think it really experiment on stage, you see, and
then if you win, if you find a new joke,
it's the best feeling in the world.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (23:42):
Just keeping that joke fresh is also tough. I feel like, yeah,
because a joke and rot, yeah sucks. I think it's
that's the most painful feeling.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I think jokes rot when you're not being authentic to
the moment when it was like some jokes that were
true in the past.
Speaker 1 (23:58):
Right, they were true to your in the past, and
then once they get like you're just phoning them in,
they'll lose their magical.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
No, I'm just gonna read that.
Speaker 1 (24:06):
Yeah. Yeah. One time I game. I was at Montreal
Comedy Festival, just for the last and I gave James
Adomian ecstasy and I was like, it's strong, so take it.
You know, he's about to go on stage. I'll take
it later. And he was like, you know what, I'm
just gonna take it now because I'm going up first.
You're a soccer storyminus. He's like, I'll just take it
(24:28):
now because I'm going on first, and then when I
get off stage, it'll kick in and I'll be high
and I'll go out on the town and have fun.
He took it, and they kicked him from first to
last on the lineup, and so when he got out
on stage, he was like, oh, like eyes in the
back of his head, and then he was like trying
(24:50):
to get through his first joke and the audience is like,
what the fuck is gouing? God? And then he just
like admitted to the audience. He goes, listen, I took MDMA,
I'm high out of my mind right now and I'm
fucking sailing, and the whole crowd was like and they
were like yeah yeah. And then he just riffed like
on like how he was feeling and like his like
ecstasy experience, and the crowd loved it and then like
(25:12):
it enhanced his high, and then he went out on
the I did M D M A on stage one time,
and it was I bombed, but I never felt better.
I was just like I didn't care that I was bombing.
I was so I was like yeah, and I was like,
I don't even know if I'm bombing or not. I
feel like elated. I felt like I was floating in
(25:35):
a cloud. Now I do ecstasy and I just kind
of melt into a puddle of mercury. It doesn't I
used to be able to take it, and I'd be
chatting all night like I'm just very confident, strutting around
like I'm Hugh Halfan or something. Now I'm just like
(25:56):
but I still in my mind, I think I'm cool.
I'm like, I'm so cool. I want to Vegas for
my fortieth birthday and I took. We all took ecstasy,
and like I saw a video in my brain like
we're like everybody's like smoking a blunt and I like
part we had a party bus and in my brain,
I was like, I'm a fucking cool motherfucker. I'm a
(26:16):
Miles Davis trumpet so low and then I saw the video.
It looked like we can at Bernie something was like
holding me up with a stick. I'm just like, oh, you.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Like a muppet that's being half controlled.
Speaker 1 (26:30):
Up with like the puppeteers hand out of it. In
my mind, I was like, that was the cool. That
was jockal training in my mind.
Speaker 2 (26:44):
One time I gave our friend of mine gave James
a doomie and I think his first dab.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Like everybody's just giving James adobie and drugs.
Speaker 2 (26:53):
Yeah, take yeah, a bumper shoot. We were bumper shooting
Seattle and jameson never taking a dad before I warned him.
I was like, it's gonna be pretty intense, ripped. Yeah,
And he took it and then he just said I
have to go, and then he just walked away and
walked all the way back to his hotel.
Speaker 1 (27:14):
Yeah. I've totally been there. It's like I have to go.
I'm just too high. I have to go, but I
get there. That's yeah, we all been there. It's like
it's time for me to exit the situation.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
With aer Condrey. With aer Condrey, what's the word bomb?
You ever seen that?
Speaker 1 (27:48):
You weren't? This isn't you like you experienced you witnessed?
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I mean I watched some bad comedy specials. It's funny
when people record.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
I'm wondering, like live, have ever seen somebody like get
the bottle thrown at them? Or boot I saw somebody.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
They got pepper shaker thrown at them or thought shaker.
I don't remember which one one of the two.
Speaker 1 (28:09):
What what led to that?
Speaker 2 (28:10):
Oh? They used even remember that. There's that time period
when Louis C. K was at his utmost power and
a lot of white comedians were like, I could figure
out a way to make an N word in a joke.
Speaker 1 (28:24):
Like yeah, that's like the highest steaks.
Speaker 2 (28:33):
And he tried shaker king.
Speaker 1 (28:42):
God, can you tell me who it is?
Speaker 2 (28:43):
Or you're not comedian anymore?
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Protected? Okay, all right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:48):
If he was still active, I tell.
Speaker 1 (28:49):
You, pepper, where was that.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
Portland, Oregon suk Suki's Bar and Grill Is that was
that like the spot, that was the spot because that
was the spot, and nobody listened to you. Everybody would bomb.
Everybody would bomb. So if you got them to listen
to you, if you got them to turn you knew
you you had your jokes.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
Really. Yeah, the spots for me in New York when
I was coming up, like they made the boy the man,
you know, like if you could turn it around in
those venues where not a single thing there was conducive
to comedy, it's for some reason they had a comedy
show there that like made you. That's what started giving
you your superpowers.
Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Yeah, you go into the danger room,
chain training in ten times Gravity, whatever reference you need,
it would always just let you. It would separate the
people who were just like especially you know when you're
starting in your twenties or whatever, and there's just people
there who are like I do this and I do carreaok.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah, And those are the shows that
(29:51):
separate the people who are really trying to do it.
Speaker 1 (29:53):
It does. If you persevere through that shushing redemption crawl
the sewer, you will you will hopefully you will survive
I think I think it's all about like the half
of it is just like not giving up.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Yeah right, truly, there's no more to be said.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
There's no more to what can be said. Is there
any anything, any scraps left on the table, any bombing
tale that is coming to mind? I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (30:28):
Just again that I think I like bombing. I'm not.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
We haven't been recording this old time. Okay, this is
kind of like a war Ron Funches. You've been a
true hero, a true friend, a confidant. It's always a pleasure, truly,
thank you so much for doing the show.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Is always a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
Self appreciate it.
Speaker 2 (30:55):
I don't know if you're.
Speaker 1 (31:01):
I'll be with Aerre all right, listen up, we got
some special for you. Got a burning story that you're
itching to tell about when you bombed or absolutely failed
in life. Now's your chance to tell me all about it, Babel.
I want to hear your worst, most cringe worthy what
the fuck was I thinking? What just happened moment? So
pick up your phone and dial seven one six bombing.
(31:24):
That's seven one six two six six twenty four sixty
four and leave me a voicemail and we might just
play it on a future episode. Bombing with Eric Andre
is brought to you by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
Network and iHeart Podcast. Our executive producer is Olivia Aguilar,
Our producer is Bei Wang, Our research assistant is David Carliner.
Our editor and sound designers Andy Harris, and our art
(31:44):
is by Dylan Vanderberg. Go rate us five stars and
drop a review on your podcast app a choice
Host
Eric Andre
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