Episode 14 - feat. WitchyTwitchy

This week MiLadyConfetti and HeyShadyLady are joined by WitchyTwitchy to discuss carving out a niche for yourself in a crowded space and being confident in your identity. This episode is full of great conversation and personal anecdotes as well as a couple stellar game recommendations! Enjoy! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Boss Level Podcast, a podcast where we
feature conversations with guests who have leveled up and bringing
an XP boost to the table. I am a Lady
Confetti and I'm one your host today along with Hey
Shady Lady. Hi, everybody, a good weekend us my band,
and our guest today is Witchy Twitchy Hi, Hi, thanks

(00:27):
for having me. Yes, Witchy is a Danaia Navajo content creator,
Twitch partner, a s m artists I hope I slaid
that right, a member of Team Katie, and an amazing talker.
Thank you. Yes, So we wanted to start off. Could
you tell us a little bit about yourself outside of just,

(00:47):
you know, my generic introduction of you. Um well, I
have been streaming on Twitch for seven years. I've been
working on learning my my native English for the last year,
so I like to speak up a lot online about
native issues because it's really important to me. I really

(01:08):
love um puzzle games and platform ers, and uh I
also like scary movies. Yeah. Oh you also do costplay?
Do you still do costplay? Did? I? Um, I haven't
done one in a while, but I still do it. Yeah. Yeah.
I was like okay, because I know, um, you were
like doing like building sets and stuff like that, and

(01:28):
you did something for New Years that was really cool,
and I was like, okay, yeah, yeah, I like going
out to like party City or somewhere and just getting
i don't know, cheap stuff like table cloths or streamers
and seeing what I can build. I think for New
Year's I got um, like the phone poster board and
I made these job clocks and stuff. Yeah. I like

(01:48):
doing stuff like that because you can take really cheap
materials and then make a really really cool photo shoot set.
Yeah you've been uh okay, so my first introduction to
you was background or so, so I've known you the
whole time I've been involved with Twitch, and I was
talking before you got here how you've been such a
role model to me the whole time. You were one

(02:10):
of the first girls streamers I've ever seen. UM, and
you were also like, I don't know, so personable and
so you have such a welcoming environment and community. So
it's like I always felt welcomes and seen in your
space and um, and then it was really empowering to
see you, uh just doing your thing, playing your video
games and and just kind of vibe in And then

(02:32):
throughout the years, you have gone through so many evolutions
and so many different versions, and it's like you're you're
constantly like pulling layers off but then pulling a layer
back up. And it's it's been super inspiring to watch
you find yourself because I feel really similar and it's
just like who am I in this world of content
creation and especially like assimilating um, like your your native

(02:55):
ancestry and bringing all of that to the forefront. And uh,
how oh have you felt going through all of this
kind of evolutionary phoenix energy the whole time you've been
in the public eye. Um, I feel sometimes it makes
me look a little crazy because I'm always I feel
like I go through so so many different changes in

(03:15):
my content, um so many, I guess, just like big
changes in my life. Um, whether it's you know, getting
my a d h D diagnosis back or um, you know,
finally being open and and connecting to my native culture
that I've always had. I feel like, um, a lot

(03:36):
of people have this misconception that I just found out
that I was native or something, but I've known since birth.
I mean it's kind of hard not to but uh,
just feeling more like I'm allowed to reclaim my my,
my culture and everything. So it makes me feel like
people might look at me a little weird if they
don't understand that type of constantly changing energy. But when

(03:56):
I look back at myself, I'm actually really proud because
I think if I told my younger self that I
would be at this point in my life where I'm
more secure and happy with who I am as a person,
I would have been really surprised. I think you should

(04:16):
be proud too. Yeah. I think you're such an empowering
force for so many different people. You championed so many
uh different parts of your identity, and you make other
people feel confident and comfortable in that. Um. The a
d h D one is it is a good example
of that too. Um. Did you ever have moments where
you maybe it's like a bit of impostor syndrome with

(04:39):
like claiming some of the titles that you claim or
the identities. I guess yeah. I I struggle with impostor
syndrome a lot, not so much anymore, and I think
that comes with just I don't know if it's growing
up or just progressing in my journey. Um, Like whenever
I got diagnosed with a d h D. I was like,

(05:00):
what if I don't really have it, you know, because
I feel like most people do that, you know, like,
oh what if I'm just being a baby, What if
I just can't pay attention to da da da. Um.
So I've definitely struggled with it there. Now, you know,
with more education on the topic and learning more and
um just reading more about it to peel away the
stigmas that I had not knowing a lot about a

(05:21):
d h D, I don't struggle with that anymore. And
with my UM, with my indigenous identity, UM, my whole life,
I struggled with imposter syndrome because I feel like there
are so many different aspects of American culture that make
Native kids like me who were raised away from our
tribes and our families, I feel like we don't have

(05:44):
a place. Um. And that's honestly, it's not a it's
not a bug of the it's it's a feature of
the system. UM and UM. So I stopped feeling that
imposter syndrome with my indigenous identity. I guess the more
time I spent around my elders in my family, the
more UM, the more sense of community that I had
and the more, um, the more I learned about where

(06:08):
I came from my people, I don't really have imposter
syndrome anymore, which is if you would have told me
that five years ago, I would have been like, okay, right,
I know, like for me, like I think, I think
I message you, I'm like, I think I have a
d h D and you were like probably a lot

(06:29):
of the things that you were saying were things that
a lot when I was younger. Yeah, yeah, And then
like that led to like had a like full blown
conversation with my mother like all the like classes and
stuff and like test like I had actually already been
tested for like at a young age, but because of
like you know, with saying how things like run in
African American women, like a lot of those things get

(06:50):
ignored and you just have like and all the things
like that go in with all that and it makes
your head explode. So I'm just like, oh yeah, and
I'm also was like, oh yeah, that's what that was.
Was like thanks for letting me know. Plus when we
were younger, I feel like people weren't as aware about
how a d h D can present in women as
they are starting to be. Um, and so a lot

(07:11):
of girls, like little girls back then, were swept under
the rug because a lot of the you know, the
A d h D and m A s D guidelines
for testing were based around boys and men. And now
the doctor that diagnosed me actually said that because of that,
she um, she's been noticing the more awareness has been
spreading about you know, a s D and a d

(07:33):
h D. Um, she's been diagnosing so many young women
who have like finally come forward and be like, oh,
I thought I was just you know, not very smart,
or I thought it was this, I thought it was that,
And then turns out they actually had undiagnosed a d
h D their whole lives, and that leads to so
many different comorbidities like depression, anxiety, seem, all kinds of stuff.
So I'm really happy that more women are learning about it,

(07:56):
because if if one little girl can of way growing
up feeling like she's just a total screw up. Um
because I'm really loud and annoying about a d h
D online, that's enough for me personally, because I know
how it was, and it really really sucked. I wish
I had known. I got diagnosed with it about ten
years ago. But at that point, I was already seven

(08:16):
eight years out of school, um and uh aging myself.
But I didn't know in high school and I'm a
high school dropout because of it, I was administration teachers.
I was constantly in trouble, couldn't focus. Didn't realize that
I couldn't focus. I didn't even understand that that's what
was happening. Same with depression. I didn't know that I
had that until years later. And then looking back when

(08:39):
I was a teenager, it's so painfully obvious what it
was painfully obvious, and all of the adults, not my
family's great, but the the like I feel like teachers,
and I don't you know, teachers have have it really hard.
But I wish that there was something in place where
it was like it was built into the system where

(08:59):
that type of stuff was was, you know, maybe it's
I don't know, taught or highlighted or like, hey, we're
noticing this consistently and you maybe we need to get
you tested for this, Like I wish that was part
of the education system or the because it's it's not
just education at this point. You spend like the majority
of your youth in these institutions, so I wish that
they were more geared up to actually make us better adults. Absolutely,

(09:23):
and um, especially with more and more information, you know,
and more studies coming out and being more accessible to
learn about these things. I feel like the stigma that
was around a d h D, you know when we
were kids, should it doesn't have to be there anymore.
It doesn't have to be just you know, when you
think of a d h D, you think of the

(09:43):
typical little boy in class bouncing off the walls, when
that's that's only a fraction of what a d h
D is. And I feel like I'm really happy that
people are starting to learn, and I'm happy that more
people are starting to be open about it, you know,
in their own lives and on social media because um hm,
like I said, if if a kid can find out

(10:06):
and get diagnosed early on and get the support that
they need instead of growing up and dealing with low
self esteem and all kinds of issues, that's that's what
makes me happy, because um, you know, undiagnosed, a d
h D can absolute havoc on your life. So yeah,
it's something that's really important to me. Yeah, I know,

(10:27):
like for me, like the way it came up, so
I was put in so those specific classes that I
was put in for testing was for gifted children. And
then through my test with gifted children, one of the
proctors was like, there's something about this little girl. Let's
do something else with her. And that was what they
were doing with Like, so I did talk to somebody
for like a month. I was like, like, why am

(10:48):
I talking to you? Like I don't even talk to
my parents. What are we doing? But yeah, that's so
it came out. They were like I'm like, okay, so
this was the thing. And like the conversation had my mom.
She was like, okay, so if I'm dealing with this,
are you like, are you going to take her out
of the gifted program? And they were like no, I'm
like great, Like let's just add more to stress. But

(11:11):
like they all, like like the anxiety, the depression, the
ad she like, they all inform each other. So it's
like a like a muddied pool of like you don't
know which one is. It's probably just all of them
all at once. But I was just like, oh, so
you knew about because I forgot about it. I had
it was much I forgot about all of that stuff.
I have repressed it for some reason. She was. She
was like, oh that's what that was. I was like,

(11:32):
thank you, thank you. A reminder would have been nice.
But kitty, okay, She's like, okay, smile for the camera.
So you said that you've been streaming for about seven
years now. Um, so that would have been about or

(11:54):
so that you got started. Um what led you up
to streaming? Was it something you had always wanted to
do or get involved in, like the gaming industry or
the broadcasting industry or what. Tell us a little bit
about who you were before you started streaming and how
you got on this path. So my dad didn't really
let me play video games or like, you know, I
didn't have any consoles at my house. I would only

(12:16):
be able to play games when I went to see
my mom and I would slay like. Um, I was
in love with Tunetown. You guys know that Disney Online RPG.
Oh my god, it was so fun. I was obsessed
with that. Um so I did. I did play games
whenever I was younger, but um, as I got older,
you know, a teenager, I just I never bought my
own console. Um when I started streaming it was so

(12:39):
how old was I like? And I didn't know what
Twitch was and my fiance had actually he he had
made the Twitch account originally and was like, hey, so
there's this thing called Twitch and you can you can
stream games. You want to play a scary game together?
And I was like, yeah, that sounds funny, like scary stuff. Um.
I found out that I actually don't like scary games. Um.

(13:00):
I love horror movies, haunted houses, scary books, and it's
just something about games that I can't handle. Anyways, So um,
we went live together streaming Outlast One. That was my
first introduction into the Twitch realm um, and I thought
it was so fun, like not the game per se,

(13:22):
but just the interaction. Um. I feel like I've always
struggled with making friends in person, and I think a
lot of that does come from the communication issues that
can come with having a d h D. And when
you I feel like it can be almost useful when

(13:43):
you're trying to stream, because people a d h D
sometimes are used to ping punking their attention around, you know,
like focusing on a game looking at chat, focusing on
a game looking at chat, you know. So I feel
like it's got kind of helpful in that, and I
just fell absolutely in love with it, and I sarted
streaming regularly, like I wanted to make it a thing back.
I mean, I was like, this is what I want

(14:04):
to do, this is really fun, and um, so I
kept with it, and my fiance he just wanted to
do it like for fun every now and then. So
I kind of just took it and ran with it.
And um, you know, now it's seven years later and
I haven't stopped. Um, so I didn't really expect it
to go on for so long, and I'm really I'm

(14:25):
really thankful that it's still going. Do you still stream
video games or if you kind of branched off and yeah, yeah,
so I actually, um, I haven't streamed in a bit
because I ended up going on an impromptu road trip
and um, I haven't come back from that yet. But yeah,
I still stream games. I do UM games Monday through

(14:46):
Friday nights, um every night, and then I do a
SMR Monday, Wednesday, Thursday. Um. Right now, all the games
I'm streaming are let's see, I'm about to finish Spirit Fairer, which,
oh my god, if you guys haven't played that, it's
I got a couple of hours into it, but I'm
scared to cry. So oh, oh god, i cried. Oh

(15:08):
I cried. But it was so good. It's so it's
so good. It's so fun, um and beautiful. It's a
really good game. Um. Prior to that, I played Tunic.
You guys did that little Fox game it's inspired by Zelda. Yeah,
I played that and beat it, which was so fun. Um.
Prior that was Death Store. It's kind of like a
cute little version of Dark Souls in a way. He

(15:29):
plays a little croum cute version of Dark Souls. I'm
really cute. It's sweet, um in a way, not exactly,
but that's what a lot of people say. So, yeah,
that's where I am. I've been playing a lot of
like smaller, more indie games. It's so fun. Yeah, yeah,
I started. I just started. Um what did I just start?

(15:51):
Starting Valley? I'm like, yes, I never played in my life,
So I I had a life that I was trying
to live and now I don't have that anymore. That
you feel, yes when you play Starting Valley for the
first time is just you can't match it. I wish

(16:15):
I could go back and experience it for the first
time again. I love it. Oh my god, I gotta,
I gotta tune into your streams like a p No,
it's totally fine. Like when you first play starting it
is because you don't know what you're funny. You had
a great name for your farm, didn't you can fetty?
Oh my god, no one told me I was. It

(16:38):
was a joke. And then now it's a thing. So
I name my farm titty Farm. And then I read
the little note from the grandfather and he was like,
I give you my precious joy titty Farm. And then
I just hearted melons and they were like melons from
titty Farm. But why don't let me do it? Why

(17:03):
would I not let you do that? Oh that's if
you need some melons, we got it here on taple. Yeah, yeah,
I'm sure there. Great, it's a good time to go
to a commercial break. That's a good point. Let's hear
a word from well. Welcome back to boss level podcasts.

(17:32):
We're having completely normal conversations here and we're still here
with Witchy twitchy. Um so um, you've been streaming for
seven years? Oh did I remember that? Right? Okay, cool, alright,
my brain is braining. Um today, have you had like
in your career, like any big failures and from those failures,

(17:52):
what did you learn? M and streaming? Um or throw
out anything through through any of it? Yeah, oh god,
that's a whole another story. I would it's a whole
other thing. I wouldn't say that's a failure. Um, it's

(18:15):
just a constant struggle. But not not in the bad way.
But um, as our failures. I mean there's been times where, um,
I am somebody who when I try something new and
I'm not instantly good at it, I drop it. I
don't pick it back up. So um, I've had plenty
of streams where I wanted to try new things and

(18:35):
I I couldn't get the hang of it at first,
and I you know, crawled away in shame and didn't
try again. Um, which is not the way to go
about it. Like I've tried drawing streams before, like not
digital art, but um, you know traditional drawing and not
I've not been very good. UM. And uh painting, Yeah, yeah,

(18:57):
I like painting. That's fun. I can paint. I just
can't draw for some reason I don't know. But um,
let's see. Oh I remember one failure, um, when apex
Legends came out years ago. I so I used to
really want to be in the sports. Um, I totally
forgot that. Yeah, I used to really want to be
on an E sports team. Um I Uh. My friend

(19:19):
had signed me up for duos in a pub g
um tournament at twitch on one year and we didn't
get very far. But I just had so I just
thought it was so cool. I had so much fun
and I was like, I want to do this. So, um,
I really really wanted to be in the sports. And
when Apex Legends came out, I was all right, this
is my game. It just came out. I'm gonna hop

(19:39):
on it. I'm gonna practice NonStop and I'm gonna get
good and then I'm gonna I'm gonna be I'm gonna
be an E sports pro. And um that did not
happen because despite me putting in a lot of hours
on Apex, I just do not have game sense for that.
And um, so I think after a while I didn't

(20:00):
I give it deal college try and then I was like,
you know, I don't think I'm going to be an
E sports star. So, um I did hang that hat up.
But um, I think that was probably for the best.
Was there anything you learned about yourself trying to pursue
being an e sports person? Um, I don't know, I
just I mean I think it really showed. I showed

(20:22):
myself how much I love games, putting that much work
into trying to improve and even doing aim trainers and
stuff like that. I when I put my mind to it,
I can practice things because I put a lot of
work in the apex and uh, just show myself that
I could be consistent with practice, which is something that
I did need to know because I struggle with consistency.
So that was one good one good try. I know,

(20:46):
like when you do like your tiktoks and stuff like that,
because you know you're talking about like you know, learning
your Dena language and stuff like that, like you always
like I know, it's like probably not those like videos
that you have where you like show your flash cards
and you like you show yourself practicing or um, when
you're speaking to your grandma and stuff like that, like
you see like the progress and like the work that

(21:06):
you're putting into that, and I know, like that's apart
when everything like that, but like that cons show because
learning another language is hard. It's like it's it's it's yes,
it's it's tough. UM. So you know that. I think
also that can apply to like other parts of your
life too. Yeah, learning another language is tough. But Navajo

(21:27):
is one of the most difficult languages to learn, because
I mean, out of all of the tribal languages that
the US tried to that they used for code during
UM Wars, Navajo is the only one that they couldn't crack.
It was the unbreakable code. UM. So it's one of
the most difficult languages to learn. UM. It's very It's
a tonal language, which adds a whole another layer of

(21:47):
difficulty on top of their being different dialects in Navajo nation. UM.
And you know, they're not being many resources to learn
it UM like there would be for Spanish or something. UM.
And I also live really far away from UM, my
grandmother or any of my elders in New Mexico, so
I don't have any speakers to talk to you regularly

(22:10):
and practice and correct my pronunciation. So it's definitely tough.
But actually, recently, UM, I went back and I watched
the video where I had I spoke Navaho to my
grandmother for the first time to surprise her, and I
was listening to myself give my traditional introduction, and I
was like, that sounds so bad. And so I definitely

(22:32):
have improved a lot with my pronunciation. I'm not I'm
nowhere near perfect. I've still got a long way to go,
but I can definitely tell I've gone a long way,
especially because I I've kind of documented my progress, which
is really nice. So yeah, sometimes I'm like, man, I'm
a major oversharer, but at the same time, I'm glad
I have those moments captured, So I kind of just

(22:52):
back there. So much power in in how much you
share though, Like I feel like you you are such
a unique ace, a unique person on the internet. You
have so much power behind you too. Like you you
are you don't give a ship like you are so
bold and so courageous, and I think that's one of
the coolest things about you, is you just You're It's

(23:14):
also though, like you, it's You've got to have such
a crazy support system behind you because you're also full front,
like receiving the brunt end of all the different types
of energy coming at you. Um and I'm sure there's
there's a ton from from people that are just uh,
I don't know. I think I remember there was a
point where you were dealing with some of your long
term audience that was getting annoyed with you talking about

(23:37):
your ancestry so much. And it's so kind of like
having to overcome that type of energy being slung at you,
and at the same time, UM coming into uh and
correct me if I'm probally coming into the Navajo thing
and dealing with the imposter syndrome or people that might
be pushing that on you. I know you use a
term called pretendi and um a lot that I had
learned from you. And so I feel like all of

(23:58):
the different types of energy coming at you, and you're
still strong and confident in your identity and you don't
let any of it kind of like crack you is.
And and you create this space where people can you
allow other people to see it and and probably explore
and uh learn about themselves to whatever type of identity
you take. I think that you could take any what

(24:22):
any word I don't know what word to use here,
but any identity is what I keep coming to, or
any type of cause or whatever, and you would just
be such a inspiration no matter what you were doing.
UM And I think that's what that's would have been
one of my favorite things to watch about you is
no matter what you are, UM, Like, I know the
a s MR is another word that I could attach

(24:43):
to that you kind of like create and you you
really pushed forward and uh defended a lot too. I
think that's another thing, is you defend the santity of
things or the UH. I know, I'm just like fluffing
you up here, but my head and I I it's
one of the things that I think is so unique
about how you create content and what you do with

(25:05):
your platform. And I think that's why, uh, you have
just catapulted the way that you have. And I do
think that TikTok played a role. I'd love to talk
with you about TikTok because I feel like when I
watched you go into TikTok is when you really started
solidifying in your identity. UM And I wonder how you
think the difference of creating on TikTok is compared to

(25:25):
twitch and maybe niche ing and stuff like that, how
that kind of experience was for you. UM. Yeah, I
totally agree with TikTok being a huge turning point for
me in my native identity. And I know a lot
of people like to write social media off as you know,
frivolous and silly and it's not the real world, so
it doesn't matter. But social media actually has a very

(25:48):
a huge impact on the real world. Like I feel
like we all realize that by now, and especially in
the way we build connections to other people. And I
feel like I was going to say any marginalized identity,
but honestly, any any group can find it community on
social media, whether it's like people who like to I
don't know, knit or New Orgomy or whatever. But like,
especially for marginalized people, UM, whether it's the Indigenous community,

(26:11):
the black community, UM, the heart of Hearing community, it's
so the narrative virgin community. So many people can find
meaningful connections via social media, UM and built and you know,
have that support system in that community. And UM it's
so important, especially during the last two years when we've

(26:33):
all been so isolated in our own homes, it has
been imperative for a lot of people to maintain you know,
their their support system in their in their sense of community.
And for Indian As people in particular, our community is
their identity. Um you know, uh, when we're living you know,
as somebody who is a urban native and living so

(26:54):
far away from from my nation. I'm in Tennessee and
the Navajo Nation is all the way New Mexico, Arizona, Utah.
Um it. Social media has been a way for me
to um support my community and also received support back,
especially when there's a lot of really really heavy issues

(27:15):
that have been coming out for the indigenous community over
the last couple of years. UM. And it once I
started talking about my journey you know, learning learning now
for my grandma and stuff like that. UM, it was
the first time I had ever felt embraced by the
native community, because one I hadn't really been you know,
growing up on the other side of the country. Uh,

(27:37):
I didn't really have the opportunity. You know. Of course,
I wanted to go see my grandmother occasionally and my
mom every now and then. But um, being embraced by
other Natives outside my immediate family was something I had
never experienced before. UM and it was a huge turning
point in my um my struggle with imposter syndrome. Because,
like I said, community is our identity, UM and it's
a huge part of who we are, and it played

(28:00):
a massive role in me being able to find who
I really am and you know, build these amazing friendships.
And I'm so thankful, so thankful for like just the
native community on TikTok in particular. So like with dealing
with TikTok though, because like I like, I love all
the things Shady said about you, but also there's like
the other end of that, because it's like I love

(28:23):
you and I think you're my friend and stuff like that.
But I've also seen like the other side of TikTok
and like how hardly it can be on you, Like
with social media, so like how do you want separate
certain things that, like, you know, because you know your reconnection,
so like posting something that's like content versus just for you,
Or how do you deal with you like the things
like you know, being overwhelmed or like things with harassment

(28:45):
and stuff like that. So how do you separate you know,
witchy twitchy from you personally so you know you can
keep your sanity? Um well, I know that, like Confetti
in particular has been a absolute godsend when it comes

(29:05):
to like lending me support whenever I struggle, Whenever I
struggle whenever I'm having a hard time dealing with, you know,
a particular wave of UM backlash from you know, anti
native comments or just uneducated people being really loud, UM
confetti those firsthand that I I've definitely been frustrated and

(29:27):
struggle with it at times. But UM, I guess for
the first part when you asked, UM, how do I
separate like what to post and what to heap for me? UM?
I For me, I listened to my elders, and I
also like, UM, I don't like posting anything about you know, sacred,

(29:47):
anything sacred to the indigenous community because there are people
that will take instantly and that that is that is
a huge issue for me. UM. I know that there
are some Native people who will even post ceremonies on
online and that is something that I absolutely will not do. UM.

(30:11):
You don't have to post that in order to be
able to talk about your your journey and your experience. UM.
And I also think that there are just some things
that are that are sacred and and and you they
don't need to be on social media. UM. And you know,
if I ever feel on the fence about it, I
just don't. But UM, yeah, I listened to my elders
and um, come and just listen to my gut. And
I'd rather be safe than sorry, because you never know.

(30:32):
You put one thing on the internet that's special and
you see it at a trend like a trend, and
you know a few months and that's the opposite of
what I want. So um people stuck the joy out
of things too, like absolutely, like I'm really happy about
this thing, and then it's just like, oh, just like yeah.
Like for example, UM, I posted, um, my hair is

(30:54):
finally long enough now to where I can put it
and not a traditional Navajo bunt yet, but um I
I have a breat that mimics a traditional Navajo bun,
and I had it in my hair and I was
talking about how it was the first time I had
been able to wear it and how much it meant
to me and a non native person message and are
They commented, and they said, oh, this is really pretty.
Would it be offensive if I would if I wore it?

(31:15):
And I was like, I want you to ask yourself
why you want to wear it and what does it
mean to you? Because to me, when I wear this,
it symbolizes the strength and the beauty of the matriarchs.
That came before me, that survived so many hardships in
order to maintain their culture. So I can wear this,
What does it mean to you? Why do you want
to wear it? You know what I mean? And I

(31:39):
think it's important, I think exactly, And I think it's
important to ask people those questions. They can do some
internal searching because it's it's really frustrating at times. But yeah,
and like you said, dealing with the harassment the other
end of TikTok it can definitely be really draining. And
I know a lot of people are like, oh, just

(31:59):
just get off your phone and stuff like the um.
But for me, I I think the reason why I
I people see me as like not caring or you know,
just taking it is because I'm stubborn. I do not
want anybody to think that they you know, I don't

(32:23):
want anybody to think. First all, people don't intimidate me.
But I don't want them to think they intimidate me,
because then they're going to feel like, oh, I can
step further in disrespect the native community. Further I can
say this now or oh look I won especially whenever
I was dealing with the whole massive drama back in
what march UM, the womb lands, UM, the word. Yeah.

(32:44):
I was dealing with UM a huge portion of the
anti Native comments, and people are telling me, oh, you
should take a break, you should get offline, private your account.
I was like, if I do that, one, these people
who are saying these things are gonna feel bolden and too.
They're just gonna go find somebody else to do it too. Yeah,

(33:04):
the quickest way behind you, because oh my god. Yeah,
like the first day or two was really hard because UM,
nobody saw what the Native community saw except Black community.
That was it. UM. No one was listening to us. UM.
You know, we were getting shouted down and called all

(33:25):
kinds of names, being concerned about the anti indigenous rhetoric
that we knew was coming. And everybody else is telling us,
you know, oh, you guys don't know we're talking about UM.
And until black TikTok got involved, that is what turned
the tide. And I will never forget and I will
always talk about that because no one listened to us
except the Black community, mainly black women. UM. And I

(33:48):
feel like that speaks volumes about society in general and
how UM lots of people can um when they don't
come from a where they understand that concern. They act
like he doesn't exist. Um, and it really, it really
brought two communities together because the comedy and the jokes

(34:10):
that came out of all of that, Oh my god,
it was so so I mean, some people were mad mad,
you know, but like Black and Native TikTok, the the
bonding that happened after that was the cutest, most wholesome thing.
It was. It was one of my favorite moments. Like
dealing with all of the insanity was totally worth that

(34:32):
because watching two communities come together and learn more about
each other. Like one of the cutest things was we
didn't know that we each had we both had our
own aunties, but you guys call them aunties, and we
call them aunties, and so like that's why, like in
Black Panther, wind Kill Monker, he was like, hey, Auntie,
it's so cute. That's how we are too. Though, like

(34:55):
I I mean, I had watched Black Panther and I
saw that, but like I guess it just didn't really click.
And and it was so funny one time because I
made a comment talking about an auntie, but I was
talking about Native aunties and I made it. I said
it aunties and then lots of black people on TikTok
but like, no, no no, it's Auntie And I was like

(35:15):
wait what no, I'm talking about But you guys have
aunties too, and they're like wow, way And it was
so cut There were so many things that I feel like, um,
you know, Native and Black people were able to learn
about each other and like those couple of weeks and
how we I feel like we were able to find
a lot of different creators and you know, each other's

(35:37):
communities to follow, and I feel like it was a
really important moment and it just made me really happen.
It's also historical for us because even like you know,
back in slavery times, like when African people were cut
off from their traditional like practices and like their ancestors
and their gods, like it was the Native community. I
was like, okay, you use this over there? Can you
substitute it with this? And there was like a huge

(35:59):
cultural change that happened between the African and then Indigenous
communities because it's like, well, we didn't ask to be here,
we understand it your lynn, so were struggling a little
bit here. So it was like I feel like that
that soul connection between like our communities has always been there.
I think I saw, like I think in least in
our generation, we saw it a lot like with the

(36:21):
Black Lives Matter protests, because like the Indigenous people were
the first people to step up and be like, what
do you need? Absolutely and you know, Stetti, I think
I appreciate our friendship so much because and I don't
know if you feel the same way, And maybe I'm
just being really dramatic and poetic, but like in our friendship,

(36:43):
I think that it it shows such a beautiful reflection
of how black and Indigenous people can while we come
from different struggles, we still can understand each other and
support each other in a way that lots of other
people can't under stand. Because when you know, whenever I

(37:03):
was dealing with some really hard issues during the the
cam Loops news in Canada and stuff like that, um
especially during the pandemic and being away from my family,
I felt so alone and I didn't have very many
um like close Native friends at the time that I
I didn't want to, you know, spell my guts in
their messages, and so I remember being able to talk
to you, And that was while you. You know you're

(37:26):
not native, but it's still a feeling of understanding and
support that is so special and I appreciate you so much.
I'm gonna recruing so they'll st talk about anymore. I
swear I about drave to your house can shake you.
You better not sorry? Okay, moving along, just for so

(37:48):
the audience know so and U, which you know is
you know, on her reconnection journey. So she helped me
start like really researching my ancestry um and bought me
an ancestry kit. How dare you? And um? I find
out my results on Juneteenth, which is really cool. I
don't know when this episode is coming out, but if
Junetineth already passed by the time, I probably already so excited.

(38:09):
Are you gonna like film your reaction? Are you gonna
stream that? What you're gonna do? I think I'm going
to keep it personal. And I mean, I guess as
the internet likes to ruin everything and like judge you
and stuff. I know there's probably colonizer in me because
it's just all it's all of us, because it's likely yes, yeah,

(38:29):
um so. And then also I'm probably gonna have a
lot of questions because like I know, like how you
talk about like, um, you made this one TikTok. You're like,
I'm it was like a spoken word kind of, but
you were talking about like I'm tired of like talking
about like the people who claim to be like like
a Cherokee princess and stuff like that. You know, I
grew up. I don't think you know, I grew up
with those stories with my grandmother. And I'm like, I

(38:51):
don't believe a word you're saying to me, but like
I want to like have a conversation with her to
tell her to chill out with that, because I'm just like,
please stop. I know you're seventy two, but yeah, I
mean it's not just what I promised. Like I grew
up with stories and having a great great Cherokee grandma
and I'm freaking Native, but like from the white half
of my family. Yeah, like it's so weird. It's bizarre. Um,

(39:15):
And because she has stories, so like it's not like
it's like I'm like, I'm just like, okay, just talk
because sometimes I think she's lonely, so I just listened
to her babble. But I'm just like I don't know
and the thing is don't and it's like that's I'm like,
you also understand that's a traumatized community, Like our community
is traumatized. Don't say things like that, like it just
it weirds me out. So like I I really think

(39:37):
the first part, I'm just gonna keep it private so
I can talk to you my well, my mother, UM
and my grandmother and just like I really want to
have a serious talk about that because I know it
connects you with other people who have done ancestor kids too.
And then I want to take it a step further
and find like because it'll give you, I think, like
a general thing. I want to know, like the specific
tribe like in Africa from so that's like a whole

(40:00):
different thing that you have to do. So I think
I'm going to keep that part private. I'll be like, oh,
like I got the results, and then I'll probably got
to say something in general. Yeah. Yeah. Plus I think
I've seen plenty of comments saying that, UM telling you
once you get these done that there's more specific types
of ancestry DNA tests that you can do, and uh,

(40:20):
I hope that you can do those, UM because I know,
I know, like I think one of the reasons why
I I told you, for me being able to connect,
like reconnect to my culture that I was raised away
from and you know, hear stories about my ancestors and

(40:40):
the strong Native women that I come from was something
that changed my life. And I know that, you know,
for for Black Americans in particular, that it's really really
hard to try and trace anything. UM. So that's one
of the reasons why I was like, this is my friend.
This is like like this was an hour and a
half rent on my tree. I was like, take it.

(41:04):
I was like, why do I have to pay some
company to do all this stuff? I'm like, I'm not
doing that, but it was. It went on for a bury.
I mean, it's true though, Like the thing, it's true
and the thing people don't realize how difficult is for
UM black people and indigenous people to like it's so

(41:24):
much harder for us UM to find our ancestors, even
paper trails UM Like for example, I Uh, I was
trying to trace my my mother's dad, UM he is
his family is originally from Mexico. UM. So I wanted
to try and figure out there was a particular pueblo
or or tribe that I could trace um. But so

(41:49):
I was on there and you know, for curiosity said,
I was doing my whole family tree, and the white
half of my family tree. You can go back literally
as far as you want me to the Sevre until
I got bored and I was like so so um so,
but with my um, like the native half of my family.
Thank goodness, we have tribal records offices on our own

(42:11):
like back you know, and in the Navajo Nation because
looking online it's so hard. Because boarding schools changed a
lot of kids names. Um, census takers misspelled names, changed names,
and um, like Native people, we didn't use like American like,
we didn't have last names. We like my tribe and

(42:33):
my nation. We went by our our clans like that
is how you determine and introduced yourself. And our clans
are not in English, so they were always misspelled, always changed.
And the furthest I was able to find anyone was
my grandmother's aunt on the nineteen forties Navajo Nations census,
oh and her mother, and I found her mother listed
as a white family servant at like fourteen years old.

(42:54):
So that was really great. But um, that was like
kind of where it stopped and with my with my
mom's dad, it was really tricky too. And it's like
Native people out struggle, and I'm sure black people struggle
even more. And it's not fair that you have to
pay to find out this information when it's not your
fault that it was. It's it's hard to find to

(43:15):
begin with. It's so frustrating, right, and like there's there's
like that there's something like so special about that, and
I think, like honestly, like this is just my opinion.
I think like all people need to do that, especially
like people who buy into white supremacy, because like you
would let that go if you just knew your cultural
heritage and like the actual like back to you whatever

(43:35):
motherland you come from, because like that you fought that
in place of what you're probably missing is a connection.
You don't have it. So it's like you know, I mean,
I live in Jersey, so it's just like you know,
the Jersey Italian stuff, But I'm like, are you connected
to your motherland? That a lot with like like a
lot of the rhetoric is there there is no white

(43:57):
culture right, um. And that has been very uh confusing
for me as a white person. Um. And when I
have never done a DNA test, I'm low key like
scared of what the company isn't gonna do. I'm going
to clone me? What are they gonna do? But I'm
also scared of the Golden State state killer, Like I
don't want to find out I'm related to serial killer. Like,

(44:19):
but I'm also insanely curious. Um and my dad got
really into researching. I mean, he went crazy on the internet,
and like UM, he was able to trace his line
back to the fifteen hundreds. So I was able to
understand that it's Celtic Irish that I come from. And
just having that understanding changed everything for me, like it
changed everything about how I understood myself. And especially there's

(44:42):
this one when like ancestor, I have who like the
red the red hand of I can't remember the surname,
but the red hand of whatever I come from. UM
and he they were in a boat race to an island,
uh too, and the first, the first man to touch
the island got the island for their their plan or whatever,
and uh my ancestor cut he cut his hand off

(45:04):
and threw it on the island soon and I said, no,
one yes, And I was like no, I'm such a
stubborn My stubborn try hard energy made so much sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the thing is, um, I feel like I could

(45:24):
have a whole power point presentation on that conversation and people.
I wish more people understood what we're saying when we
say there's no white culture, like white didn't exist prior
to something um, you know, and we always say race
as a social a social CONSTRUCTUM, and white didn't start

(45:48):
becoming a thing until it was it was it was
made to separate people from their um, you know, cultural
identities where they come from and come to America or
what other what what other um what ever colonized country
that they were forming in order to create almost like
a caste system or something. UM. And so people here

(46:10):
either here in America or any other country that has
been colonized, and I guess the whole world now, UM
you you you trade your cultural identity and to be
under this umbrella of whiteness and um and it's there's
nothing there. I think that's why cultural appropriation and the

(46:32):
appropriation of so many spiritual practices you know, they take
from black culture native spirituality, is because people are hungry
for their own roots to their own culture, and their
ancestors sacrificed that when they came here looking for the
American dream. And it sucks. Um, but I feel like
decolonizing and connecting to your roots is for everybody. It's
not just for Native people. I get so many comments

(46:53):
from white people saying, Oh, I wish I had a
culture to connect to you guys, do do you have
you have a culture to connect to? Um, it doesn't
have to be Native, you know, like your ancestors came
from beautiful, lovely cultures before, like pre colonization, like like uh,

(47:15):
like t I was saying, or hey, shady lady, sorry,
I don't know if you go my times, but like
she was saying, like that is so like a freaking
racing to an island and like to touch it to
the and to to it's a deeper understanding. So I can't.
I'm trying to just like like let y'all go here
as much as possible, like it's the But the best
way I can understand is and my mom had my

(47:37):
mom isn't able to trace hers because because the records
weren't kept in all of this kind of stuff. Um,
so we got we got to a stand still after
like three three generations back, I think, and when my
dad was able to take it all the way back
and we've got the Celtic and the Prussian uh link
up where they came to America and so but understanding
that also, it's just such like it helps. I don't know,

(48:01):
I don't know how to explain it. But it's like, oh,
I'm home. I don't know how to explain it. Besides,
you do not how to tell me that's it though,
you know when I felt that, like I was watching
one of those ancestry videos and I don't know if
you all know who Tom Joyner is. He's a radio personality,
but he's a black man and he has gray eyes.
But nobody in his immediate family going back to like

(48:23):
a feuge, Like I think back to his like grandmother,
great grandmother had gray eyes. And when they did his
research as genealogy, it found out it was a former
slave owner who had gray eyes and that's where it
came from. And he was and he, like you can
watch the video online, he broke down across he was
like I had never known, like everybody always wondered where

(48:44):
my gray eyes came from. He's like I didn't know
my mother, didn't nobody knew and he saw that picture
he was like, that's my ancestor. Wow. I was like
that was powerful like for me, and it was like
a kind of like I know, like you know that's
a former like slave, but like that was a coming
of moment to him, and I was just like that's powerful. Absolutely.
I've struggled, like I've I've had that exact same feeling

(49:07):
of coming home when it comes to you know, learning
where I come from and learning why I am so
headstrong and and everything, and learning about you know, I've
always known that I'm Denis and I've always known what
tribe I come from. But you know, whenever I was younger,
I didn't value what was really important. I never really

(49:28):
dug into the tribal history and our matriarchal culture and
our matrilineal culture. And one thing I learned that made
me it was a little click, something clicked. I don't know.
So I learned about my my grandmother's birth mother. Um,
she is Navahoto. I come from a long line of
Navaho matriarchs. And uh so I told Confetti that, you know,

(49:53):
during the BLM protest in you know I was going
down there. I think that's what me and you started
talking a lot more, is kind of just supporting each
other during that because it was a lot um to
deal with and I was marching, and I remember one
day after the march, we found out that they're a
guy had gotten arrested. He was like drunk on top
of one of the buildings with an a K forty

(50:14):
seven pointing at us as we were marching. And that
was back in and then last year when I went
to go visit my Navajo family, one of my grandpa's
was talking about his mother, the my grandma's birth mom.
I was talking about she was at a big and
it was like a Navajo march back in the sixties. Um.

(50:38):
It was a protest against the nineteen murders that happened
in Farming to New Mexico. And he was telling me
about how she was marching under sniper fire and just
seeing the two parallels between, you know, one of my
grandmother's stubbornly marching even though you know there was guns
pointed at the crowd and still standing up for what

(51:01):
was right and marching UM. And then you know, fast
forward to me, it's like hell Yeah, it was a
really cool thing to learn. Um, and things like that
are so important, you know, like everybody should experience that, like,
because that's beautiful Juneteenth y'all. See y'all. Then I'm gonna

(51:24):
be right here. We're gonna do our part too. Now
I'm just gonna I think that is a good time
to take another break. UM. Hashtag not sponsored by Ancestry DNA.
So we're gonna listen to our sponsors and we will
be right back. Well, welcome back, everybody. Okay, So I

(51:46):
hate to commercialize this beautiful conversation that's been happening. UM,
I do want to ask you a little bit about
niche ing or uh we we've talked about it kind
of in in the sense of of claiming idea at ease. UM.
But when you were when you were starting out streaming,
you started out as a gamer, right, um, and it's

(52:09):
it's gone through an evolution of all of these different identities. UM.
Maybe the question is like, did you expect to end
up where you are? Okay, I think I understand what
I wanted to ask, all right. I was like, it
was a good question. Where did it go? Um? People
start out on twitch as gamers, and then they can
either stay as gamers and there's nothing wrong with just
being a gamer, but I think that it's kind of

(52:31):
like a jumping point for a lot of people. It's
like the first door that opens. You walk in through
that and you're like, Okay, I'm gonna play video games
with everyone else, and then you start to build a
platform over time, and then your main identity starts to
become more of the factor and the games are kind
of the background. Um that kind of tied us together
in the first place. Um, do you feel like that's
been your experience overall? And how has that led into

(52:53):
you diversifying on all of these different platforms and you
have kind of future plans with how you're wanting to
go with your content. Yeah. Um, so I'm the last
person that needs to give a lecture about niche because
I um struggle with I'm all over the place. I
always have been. Like I remember whenever I was a

(53:16):
little bit younger streaming, I would I would look at
other streamers who could always consistently they would keep their
hair the same, so their emotes always matched them, and
they always kept all their stuff the same, and you know,
it was all cohesive and they had the same vibe
across different platforms, and I was like, man, how do
they do that? Um? And then I realized I have
a d h D and I'm constantly changing and moving
and always like my interests and hobbies like I'm getting

(53:38):
you know, I change a lot as a person, and UM,
and I like, I want to do so many things. UM,
Like I wanted to digital art, I want a game,
I wanted a SMR, I want to do this, I
want to do that. Um. And so it's really hard
for me to stay within a niche. I know it's
best to kind of have that stick to a brand

(53:59):
in order to be able to grow as a content creator. UM.
But I don't enjoy I can't enjoy myself if I
just I don't let myself do it like try new
things or um do the things that I enjoy. And
I think that's just yeah, I can maybe not be
as beneficial for you know, growth, But I think that's

(54:21):
one of the things that some people like about me.
I guess maybe I don't know, just constantly trying new
things and talking about new things, and I don't know,
it's definitely hard to because I try and manage. You know,
my TikTok content and streaming is mostly gaming, and then
I try and run any get YouTube a smart channel,
so I'm kind of scatter brain. Then I have my

(54:42):
what is it, I have my ebbs and flows. Yeah,
I don't know, something like that. But I wish I
was better at sticking to a niche in away and
staying more consistent with my content. But it's hard for me.
I wonder if you would. And this is just my
brain going off, but I've I've been curious about if

(55:03):
you were haded plans to move because you feel so
far away from from New Mexico. I was wondering if
that was maybe something that was kind of in your brain. Um.
Also wondering if you had ever considered doing like YouTube,
um lifestyle vlog like just you know, just kind of
like you already are documenting on TikTok, But what if

(55:25):
you had like your like you said, you're on a
road trip, So if it was like a twenty minute
like road trip with me and like the whole process,
I think that there would be um, I think that
would be such good like such good content to watch.
I don't know. Yeah, that's actually one of my plans. Um.
Wait what was your first question. What was the first
part of that moving. Yes, that's actually one thing that's
on my like, that's my goal, um one because you know,

(55:49):
my elders are getting older and I want to be
able to spend as much time when it as possible
and to It's really difficult to learn a language when
you are like you know, well when you're not around
people who speak that language. And UM, I want to
be able to be near my you know, my grandfather
out there, my grandma, my aunties and stuff like that.
So and plus you know, I'm still connecting to my culture. Um.

(56:15):
I'm not someone who was raised in it and then
you know, grew up and moved away. It's basically the opposite. Um.
So in order for me to to learn more about
my community, figure out how to be of service like physically, um,
and find ways to help, I want to be closer.
So yeah, that's a goal, um of mine. And then

(56:35):
you said, oh, the lifestyle blogs. Yeah, that's actually a
goal of mine. So I, um, I do have I
have my a sm R YouTube channel, and then I
had my main channel that was around like gaming and
like anime, Rooster Teeth show reactions. I actually wiped all
my old videos on my main channel because I don't
want to do that anymore. And I I do want
to be able to do the more um talking about
my journey and more lifestyle vlogs because I'm tired of

(56:59):
just doing anime reactions and stuff. Because I wanted to
talk about things that I'm passionate about and things that
make me happy and things that I love. So yeah,
that's a goal. I just haven't gotten there yet. Okay,
so don't invite Witchy on anime podcast now. I totally
fine with talking about it, but it's like reaction videos.

(57:20):
I I don't feel like I'm creating. I'm just reacting
to somebody else's. I tried it on for a second
and I was like, this is the laziest content I've
ever made. Yeah, but the thing is it's really popular.
It should it be divisive, though, And I'm like, I
can't just say I liked it and move on. I
have some harsh opinion about it, and they're brutal, you know,

(57:42):
like I I could not I had it worked. Okay,
So I tried anime reaction and it popped off, Like
with a channel with zero subscribers like I had a
video that hit like nine thousand views or something. Um,
but the anime fandom please really are so toxic coldly
I've never loves I love anime like Goku Solo shut

(58:08):
up quiet. Yeah it was. It made it to the
point where I wasn't enjoying uploading because it was like,
Oh my god, someone's gonna tell me I missed something
I was saying. Said that I like, I don't know. Yeah,
I'm talking too much, I'm not talking enough. Oh I
missed that. Oh I said something wrong? Do you not
remember that? Stupid? So ma'am so I uh yeah, I'm

(58:32):
really excited to start trying to do more, um personal
type videos on my YouTube channel. I feel I feel
like niching is probably something that we're It's it's like
um cages. We're putting ourselves in and we don't have
to be doing it, but we feel like we have to,
and to be fair, we're trained to do that by

(58:54):
the algorithm, so we're I don't know, I'm I want
to be this like oo Soft Kawaii Cozy game or girl,
you know what I mean, because it's a niche and
I'm like, Okay, I can settle in that. I could
play Stardi Valley, I could play Animal Crossing, like I
like these games. But then I'm it's it's in that
like cozy category. Oh god, I have like, don't like

(59:16):
the whole cozy drama handle worms. I have no idea. Oops. Um, well,
it's just because it's got that word attached, the whole
candle worms. Oh my god. Um but it maybe sandbox maybe,
like like wholesome sandbox games would be to remove the

(59:38):
stigma of the word cozy, right, because I don't know.
But then I'm like, what about the days where I
do want to like flashback play some Overwatch, let's revisit
horror games. And then that's like such a fallacy, Like
I don't know it just because I'm in a niche
doesn't mean I can't explore outside of the niche. But
then when you get punished by the algorithm I did.
I did a stream with Breath of the Wild and

(59:59):
I had thirteen viewers and I haven't seen numbers like
that in five years, and I was like, I got
to delete everything. I mean, this is wrong because everything
is like determined by those freaking metrics. I'm so sick.
And the center of it is capitalism. It wants production,
it wants you to keep immigration things out. It's like, Okay,
I'm gonna punish you here, so you panic and you

(01:00:19):
make eight more videos. And the person that ultimately profits
is the platform. I can't say person, the thing that
profits is the platform. And I was just like, okay,
now I'm not doing that. And we're human beings, like
we have so many different facets and aspects of ourselves.
I feel like, how can I mean, maybe some people
do enjoy doing like one thing um and and you know,

(01:00:42):
they like it a lot. But for me, I don't
know if it's like the A D H D and
like being wanting to do everything in my life. I
don't understand, like it just that's not in human nature,
I guess, because we have so many different aspects of
asked up of ourselves and I feel like, sometimes not always.

(01:01:02):
I'm sure there are plenty of content creators who do
the same thing constantly and it makes them happy and
stuff like that, but I feel like it almost that's
like unrealistic expectations because we are not one thing, and
that's why we have this rampant burnout. I think, yes,

(01:01:22):
I know blues Bear we were on a panel talking
about Variety Content Creator and Um I had talked about
being strictly on dead by Daylight and then when I
would leave dead by Daylight, my numbers would tank. And
then I just got scared. And then I made the
conscious decision this New Year's Eves when I started with
Residuval Village to break away from that, like no matter

(01:01:44):
what it was. But the thing is, I'm also knew
that it was going to hurt, and it things that
are like suddenly taking a change. But like one thing
that blizz Bear UM gave advice on was um scheduling
out things and also having like very honest, you know,
conversations with your community because like okay, like you can
say your Variety Content creator and you just do something,

(01:02:06):
you just do things randomly, like so random is also
not going like if you want some type of reward
out of the thing, like it's the randomness completely is
just not also going to like get you the results
that you probably do want. But having things, even though
it is still variety scheduling things out that's help and
like that actually honestly helped me out. I was just
like I'm on the panel next to him. I was like,

(01:02:28):
you know what, You're right, and even from that moment,
like we I'll see if I can find the link
to the VOD because we did that for Paxis and
packs recorded it for us. But um yeah, Like I
was just like, oh my god, like that makes so
much sense and it actually has been very helpful. So
it's just like, Okay, I'm gonna do start doing this day.
I'm gonna do this. We're gonna do a subas on,

(01:02:49):
We're gonna do this. We're gonna do it. But that's
the showcase and I'm like my weakest scheduled look at her.
But I'm like also communicating with my community, like if
you want DVD, this is the only day you're gonna
get that. It is what it is, um um. And
then like you know, I do I also do other
things so like come hang out and do see something else.
While about star Do and why this whole community is

(01:03:10):
obsessed with romancing people Like who are you're romancing? I'm
like I just got here. I don't know yet, Like
who are these people? Um yeah, That's one thing I
think has really been helpful, Like in the variety aspect,
I'm so anti I need I just talk about things.
I like. I'm so like every time I hear niche,
I was like, wait, what, oh no, thank you? I'm scared.

(01:03:35):
I know the TikTok folks though, like when you go
on TikTok, I don't know if you'll get this in
your f I P the like content creators are like, Okay,
you want to grow your count first thing you do
Niche down, like that's always the major advice, and like
I do like twitch tips or whatever on YouTube, which
is also how I'm like, how the hell do I
get away from this at this point? Like um, but
that's always the go to and like by all like

(01:03:58):
marketing standards, it works and it makes sense like you
you just kind of which is sort of like Twitch,
Like I'm here, we're bonding over video games. But once
I build a big enough platform, it's like, Okay, I'm
also x Y and z UM and now I'm going
to introduce that to all of y'all and I'm gonna
wean you off of this video game content. What advice

(01:04:21):
would you give to somebody who wants to do with
you do, whether that's starting on Twitch, reconnecting to your
ancestry or whatever that maybe any any aspect of like
your career. What what what advice would you give to them?
Mm hmmm. Um, I guess I have to pull like

(01:04:42):
how I learned from my mistakes and try let me think,
so you do have to find a balance between um,
doing what you really enjoy and also somewhat finding a niche.
Like there there is a balance you can you can
find and I I still struggle sometimes to find it,

(01:05:04):
but I feel like you know it if you're taking
you know, streaming seriously or whatever online, UM, find a
way to to stick with a niche sometimes loosely. Well
then you know, also branching out and trying new things.
I know that's really contradictory, but there's a weird little
balance that you can walk, and I feel like it's
really important to avoiding burnout, enjoying what you do, but

(01:05:28):
also having some sort of consistency. UM. And as far
as reconnecting, like particularly for reconnecting natives, I guess I
always tell people ask yourself, why do you want to reconnect?
What does reconnecting mean to you? And are you ready
to I guess carry the weight of what it means

(01:05:50):
to reconnect because I feel like when people see I
always get these comments They're like, Oh, your journey is
so beautiful. Oh that's so fun. I wish I could
do that. And it's like, yeah, you guys, the fun part,
but you don't see the ugly sides, really really hard,
sad ugly sides. Um. I uh, I have cried more

(01:06:11):
in the last couple of years and I ever had
in my whole life. Processing a lot of well, first
of all, learning about the causes of a lot of
um into generational trauma and Native families, Learning how it
affects my life daily. UM, learning how it's impacted my family,
Hearing stories from my elders and people that I love
dearly about, you know, things that they've experienced, whether it's

(01:06:33):
through boarding school or other things. Um, it's really hard.
People don't see that ugly part because I I don't
film those moments, of course, so they're not going to
see that. And I think a lot of people I
get a lot of questions like, oh, I I just
took a DNA test, and then I I'm like, this
much native, but I don't know who my tribe is.
How do I go about reconnecting and I'm like, I,

(01:06:57):
I can't personally help you with that because that's not
my story. I feel like a lot of people assume
that's how I reconnected, But my story and my experience
is a While I didn't grow up in my nation
with my people, I still have a very native experience. Um.
You know, the court system separating me from my native mom,

(01:07:21):
you know, wanting me to be raised into Christian household,
you know, by my white family members and stuff like that,
being separated from my culture and always not feeling enough
and like I can claim who I am, um, And
that is a very native experience in modern society unfortunately, UM,

(01:07:41):
and that's tail as old as time. So I don't.
I don't. I can't give advice when it comes to,
oh do I need to take a DNA? Tell us
how do I fin might tribe? I can't help you
with that. And I like whenever people ask me those questions,
like I will say, why do you want to reconnect?
What does the reconnection mean to you? And are you
ready to carry the weight of that means? Um, Because

(01:08:02):
it's not a fun hobby. It's not something cool and
interesting to do to you know, bring out in a
conversation and we're like an accessor. You're like, oh, I'm
I'm part of this blah blah blah. It's it's it's
who you are at your core. Um, you're not a
part time you're not a part time native when when
your native all the time. And it's like I said,

(01:08:25):
it's who you are your core and it's sometimes really heavy,
but it's also really beautiful. And I just want people
to understand that when they make those comments like oh, hey,
I just took a Denedy test and I'm like, I
present you to whom I drive. I want to reconnect
to um because it's not all fed work and pow wows.

(01:08:47):
Mm hmm yeah, very existential. Um. I want to rework
that question a bit to ask you would tell yourself
when you were fifteam when I was fifteen, um, little

(01:09:09):
emo scene Sarah, Oh god, I guess whenever I was
that age, I really struggled. You know, I was a
teenage girl for one, struggling with you know, self esteem
and you know, not liking my physical appearance. So not

(01:09:31):
only but I wasn't just a teenage girl. I was
a um you know, I'm half white and I grew
up in rural Alabama where there are no people of color. Um,
and I I never liked how my face looked because
while a lot of people, you know, if you're not native,
I feel like a lot of people tell me, oh,

(01:09:54):
I don't know like I some people are like, you're
white passing. But then whenever I was growing up, I
always got called to church needs a girl, or you know,
people always thought I was Asian, or they would make
fun of my nose. Whenever always younger, my nose was
more flat, but I still got you know, big nostrils.
So you know, I I feel like growing up in
that environment, I really compared my my face to a

(01:10:16):
lot of other people. They didn't like my lips, I
didn't like my nose, and I always felt out of place.
And I also, you know, not being diagnosed with a
d h D. Yet I felt like a total mess up, like, oh,
I was always forgetting things, I was getting in trouble. Um.
So I guess I would tell myself, one the features

(01:10:37):
that you carry on your face that you don't like
are features from some of the most resilient, strong people
in the world. Um. The things that you don't like
about yourself now you are going to absolutely treasure when
you get older. UM, Because like when I look in

(01:10:58):
the mirror now, I don't just see myself. I see
I see my I know it sounds so cheesy, but
I see my ancestors like I see my my aunties.
I did a video about that, actually, talking about how
like now that I look in the mirror, I see
my angular lips that are on my aunties. I see,
you know, when I smile, I see my grandmother's eye shape.

(01:11:20):
When I look, you know, I see my grandfather's nose.
And how could I have ever not liked those whenever
I was younger? And then, um, yeah, I guess. Just hey,
by the way, I have a d h D. You're
not stupid. UM, just throw that up, don't worry about it.

(01:11:40):
Yeah much for that vulnerability. This has been such a
beautiful conversation, Like legit, I feel very honored to be
part of it. UM, And I don't know, I'm really
looking forward to seeing what you're gonna make going forward
and how you're going to continue to evolve. UM. I
will continue to look up from you, you up from you.

(01:12:02):
My brains are now failing me. Um, But yeah, thank
you so much. For sharing your journey with us today.
For thanks, thanks for letting me over share. Do you
have any important do you have any projects coming up
or any important causes you want to speak on UM
anything like that for the for the people, for yes.

(01:12:25):
So UM, you guys know that there was you know,
in Canada, the they started checking UM under all the
residential schools and they were finding UM on marked graves
and stuff like that. UM. While there there were actually
more Indian boarding schools here in the US, and there
were residential schools in Canada, and UM, the US UM

(01:12:46):
just started their investigation. UM. May I believe it was
a deadline for resident boarding school survivors and their descendants
to send in written testimony. UM. And they are going
to start more. You know, they released their first report
at the end of May. UM. But more investigations are happening,

(01:13:07):
and I think they are going to be checking under schools.
I know that some graves have already been found, and UM.
I believe that UH in the coming months, UM, whether
it's like several months from now, maybe even a year,
there's gonna be a lot of really really important information
coming out about UM, the history of Indian boarding schools.

(01:13:27):
Here in the US, and it's imperative. It's a really
critical time for UM for Native people here in the
US too have their stories heard. And a lot of
people here don't even know that those existed. Yeah, UM,
because it's they don't talk about it, at least now
in Canada, it's come to to light here in the US.
Most people don't know that boarding like forest assimilation schools

(01:13:51):
worth being here, and that most Native people that you know,
most of these Native creators you see online, if not
basically almost every single one you know to some extent,
maybe they have parents and grandparents that went to those schools.
UM and so I really just want people to pay
attention to that UM because it's really important. And also

(01:14:12):
if anybody here hasn't heard about the m m i
W crisis, it's something that's very very UM very important
to the Native community. Um So mm W stands who
are missing and murdered Indigenous women. Um SO people don't
know this, but Native women are actually murdered at ten
times the national rate, which is more than just about
any other marginalized group UM or like group of people. Uh.

(01:14:34):
A lot of these crimes are going UM unsolved. UM
there's all kinds of red tape between tribal governments and
the federal government that prevent um non tribal citizen like
you know American non non natives, if they commit a
felony on tribal lands, they cannot be prosecuted by the

(01:14:55):
tribal government, so it has to go to the federal government.
All those paperwork, those cases sit there, and then most
of them don't actually get looked into, like only a
small percentage to actually move forward in the process of investigations.
So not only are these women going missing and being
murdered their um, their murderers or kidnappers or people who
assault them are not being charged or convicted um. And

(01:15:16):
it's a huge crisis. It's ongoing genocide of Native people
ten times in national average is a lot. And that's
only the the people the women who are recognized as
being Native and who are registered due to blood quantum laws.
There are women who can be one Native but split
between like several different tribes, so they can't register with

(01:15:37):
any and they wouldn't be considered native on paper UM.
And it's huge fage problem with the Native community. And
I just wanted to talk about that because it's something
that's really important to me. UM. Missing and Murdered in
Indigenous Women Awareness Day was about a month ago UM
on May five, So if you haven't learned about that,
please do. We're constantly trying to raise awareness about it
UM and talk about are are missing stairs and the

(01:16:00):
ones that that we're remembering, you know, trying to find.
Thank you so much muchI for being here. Appreciate you,
and I appreciate all that information that you gave us.
UM to our listeners, thank you so much for tuning
into the Boss Level podcast. Please remember to follow the
Boss Level Podcasts on all social media's. That's Boss l

(01:16:22):
v l UM on all of our social media's. I
am Milady Confetti. You can find me at Milady Confetti
on all social media is because we love consistent branding. Um,
Hey lady, where can our listeners uh find you? I
am also Hey Shitty Lady across all of my platforms. So,
and I'm hopefully coming out of my little existential crisis burnout.

(01:16:46):
You know, it's a summertime, so I guess it was
just time to happen. I don't know, I keep joking
about like seasonable depression, and I'm like I don't think
it ever ended for me this year and this is
the first time that's I don't want to say first
time it's happened to me, but in the last like five, six,
seven years, I've never just been in this much of
a funk for so long. I'm so you're You're not alone.
Don't worry. We're all feeling it for sure. So what

(01:17:09):
about you, Witchy? Sorry, I was going to do the
same thing. Um, you can find me on twitch. My
name on there is Witchie Twitchy. UM. My name on
TikTok is Witchi twitchy TV as well as Twitter, and
my instagram is Wichi twitchy and my YouTube channel is
witchy twitchy and then also Witchy Twitchy a s m R. Yes,

(01:17:32):
I love that. And remember to our listeners to remember
to rate and review and subscribe on it tunes please
as so as it helps us so much. Thank you
until next time. By