August 18, 2022 • 49 mins
Hey friends! This week Psyche and MiLadyConfetti are joined by ComboQueens co-founder and FGC content creator DaPurpleSharpie! The group discuss finding your community, honoring your values, and staying true to yourself. Great discussions ahead - enjoy!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Boss Level, a podcast
where we feature conversations with guests who have leveled up
bringing an XP boost to the table. This week, you're
here with me, Psyche and the incredible Milady Confetti. Hey, Confetti,
how are you doing a little? I'm doing good. That's
so nice to record with you again. Yes, it has
been too long, It really has. I feel like there's
(00:23):
so many like there's so much space between each of
the episodes where we get to record with each other,
and it's wild. And I was listening to you talking
to Jas talking about needing to play games together. When
are we going to play Stardy Valley together? Yes, there's multiplayer,
we need to do it. Oh well then soon? Hell
do you know that? I would love that because I've
been enjoying all of your like TikTok's and stuff from
(00:45):
your journey into Sturgy Valley and the wildness that just
seems to come out of it. So today's episode, we
are joined by the Purple Sharpie, also known as Sharpie
and American fighting game content creator, influencer, and show host.
She is known for being the first woman to commentate
Evia online, organizing fighting game tournaments at Zanogy Games. I'm
(01:08):
co funding Combo Queen's Hi Sharpie, thank you so much
for joining us today. Thank you so much for having
me both of you. I really appreciate it, and that
did a lot of justice to everything I've done. I
I feel like a more succinct version of everything that
I do is I really like playing video games and
anyway I'm able to intrigate that, I'll literally like integrate
that into my life. That's what I do. That's awesome.
(01:30):
I respect that completely. How are you doing today, I'm
doing really well. You know. Um, I just came back
from EVO. Evil was about a week and a half ago.
It's the biggest fighting game event inside of the world.
And as you stated, I was the very first woman
to ever commentate Evil online last year, uh, which was
the very first year that they had it, I was
the only woman there. And this year, I was one
of the very first people to ever commentate Skuldgirls Top
(01:52):
eight at EVO, which was at Evil for the very
first time. So I'm really excited. Uh. That was really awesome.
But I also more specifically got to host Multi Versus,
which is the number one fighting game in the world
right now, so that was like a really big flex.
My mom tuned in and everything it was. Can I
say I loved him? The TikTok I think that was
Friday or Saturday, and I saw you talking about your
(02:14):
family pulling up and like you're not reading the twitch
chat um, which I'm glad because when I was doing hosting,
I didn't read twitch chat at all. I'm very glad
I didn't do that. I went back for like so
for one second, I'm like, oh, that's brutal in there,
but you know, your whole family pulled up and was
defending you and chat. I was like, that's that's fired.
They were taking names. One of my mom's cousins is
(02:36):
like literally a drill instructor with a police academy in California.
Like he was trying to get people like taken down
from the internet and stuff. I was like, whoa, whoa,
whoa wa these random children on the internet, Like they
can't hurt me. I get paid regardless of what they
say about me. You all. Like I just know that.
I had to have a real conversation with her and like, Mom,
(02:56):
it's okay, this is not the first time it's happened
to me. My sponsors will or me regardless. As long
as I don't engage with them, you can do whatever
you want, just like, don't get me in trouble, don't
interrupt my bag. Like, but it was, it was cute,
It's real. It's just like it's a part of I
think a lot of people forget that gaming isn't just
like white people inside of the space. It's not just men.
(03:20):
It's not just people who identify as as female either,
And so when I get to the intersection of being
like a queer, black, FIM presenting person on the internet,
there's not always positivity that's met here. And I have
to like remind my family that even though they they're
not used to people speaking to me this way, that's
how people treat me on the internet very frequently, especially
(03:41):
people that don't know me, And they just needed to
understand that and understand I was collecting the bag regardless,
you know, and they were happy for me, very very happy.
But I love the MultiVersus community. Most of the people
were sending me love and support and that's all I
ever focus on. I still don't read twitch commons and
can't nobody pay me to do that? Sore fair respect
(04:02):
that it's it's hard. I like, I I think you
kind of hit the nail on the head, Like if
you're not what is seen as the default in the
twitch space or in the online content creation space, it's
wild the amount of toxicity, and especially if you're at
an intersection between communities, it's it's like, it's got to
be really tough, and it shouldn't be, and it shouldn't
be that your family have to come to defend you.
(04:24):
But I mean amazing that you have that kind of
support network. That's really really cool. To be fair, it
helped that they knew I was getting paid a lot
of money, like this is the very first time they've
ever seen me do this, and it was a big
enough achievement. Like EVO is the biggest fighting game event
in the world. There are people who have never heard
of fighting games and certain other games that they've heard
(04:45):
of EVO or they recognize certain aspects of EVO. So
I felt like it was really an important milestone for
me to bring my family into something that I haven't
necessarily felt comfortable doing before that. Yeah, for sure. Um, so,
I guess let's get into character select and learn a
little bit more about you. Could you maybe kind of
give us an idea of the back story behind your
name to Purple Sharpie. Where did that come from? I
(05:07):
don't legally think I'm allowed to tell you. I apologize
about that, but I will say that suffice it to
say I had a significantly different user name that I
don't feel comfortable discussing why it came about, but it did,
and it was Sharpie UM or some form of Sharpie.
And then after a um conversation that I had with
(05:29):
a certain unknown brand that I will not mention for
legal purposes here, I rebranded to something that was not
as recognizable than I P and much more of my own,
not a copy written specifically. So funny story, though, very
funny story. Back in two thousand eighteen, when I first
started like getting a little bit more notarized inside of
(05:49):
the fighting game community with Dragon Ball Fighters coming out,
I actually applied to uh Nestill Gamings or Nestill Ink,
which is the organization that like owned the I P
of Sharpie, right, and I sent them this whole email
and I was like, Hey, here's who I am, here
are my stats, here's my deck. You guys should sponsoring
me because I'm gonna be huge one day. And they're
(06:11):
like in a really classic just like huge Corp way,
They're like, we send out sponsorships, we don't respond to inquiries.
Have a good time just so you know, we don't discriminate.
Also and have a good day. And I was like, okay,
very very boiler plate legal for purposes like unknown, we
(06:32):
have no clue who you are, we don't care who
you are, and like we're not sponsoring you. And I
was like, dang, I'm gonna make sure that they regret that,
and they did, or I hope that they do. I
hope that they understand how much like opportunities, how much
money I could have made them if we were just aligned.
But yeah, shout outs to actual brands that work with
me for sure. It's crazy though, Like it's just wild
(06:55):
to me because the fact that you got like such
a boiler plate and also as soon as you hear that,
like we don't discriminate your media or like yeah, that's
code language word. We have a default type. It really
what they have certain sponsored players underneath them, most of
which are underneath racing or things like skateboarding and snowboarding,
(07:17):
like very very big sports, not necessarily E sports, Like
they don't have a single E sports player under them.
It's it's almost all like New age sports skating, you know, boating, rowing,
things like that, and they all appear to be a
certain way, right, But I think the language there was
basically so that if someone did get denied, they couldn't
(07:39):
be like it's because I'm at an intersection, you know.
But things like that give me fuel to like spite
people even more, which I'm happy to say I have.
Like so now when you google my name, like a
lot of people will tag me on Twitter because I
have the tag name of my display name is Sharpie.
My tag is the purple Sharpie, So people will type
(08:00):
in Sharpie and I'll actually come up first before Sharpie,
which I'm sure gets got me a lot of hate
during our previous administration being there for like Sharpie Gate,
which I didn't really care that much about because I
was able to sell those impressions to sponsors. But it
was like it was really funny because people be like, yeah,
that's why those those Republicans are doing this. I'm like, hey,
(08:21):
what's up? I play E sports? Um, why am I trending?
You know, it's really it's funny stuff like that. That's
always that happens to me because my name is so
similar to other I p s. That's really interesting. UM,
what's your favorite game? On streamer off? I would you
say that with content creation and the fact that you've
kind of focused on fighting games, would like your favorite
(08:42):
games be fighting games or do you have other things
that you enjoy playing as well. I consider myself a
gamer first and foremost. I believe I gained notoriety because
I started competing specifically inside the fighting games school Girls,
But prior to that, I was competing in Super Smap Brothers, Melee.
And A common misconception is that people think that I
only like fighting games. The reality is I have competed
(09:04):
in several different games besides fighting games. I competed at
a collegiate level for League of Legends and a local level.
I hosted events and large tournaments, which gave me the
skills to run tournaments that I run today. UM, but
certain communities, especially competitive communities, are not always welcoming to
people that happened to be of color. UM. The fighting
(09:26):
game community was birthed around arcades, specifically inside of inner
cities inside of the continental United States and inside of Japan,
and so a majority of people that attended these locations
didn't have money for Commodore's or Nintendos or a lot
of gaming system Mike, Sega, Genesis, so they went to
our kaides to play, and most of those people were
(09:46):
people of color, specifically African American communities. So a large
demographic of people inside of the fighting game community, specifically
the traditional fighting game community, are African American. They do
look like me. So the reason I'm well known as
this community is, to be very frank, this is one
of the only communities that didn't immediately look at me
and you're like, you're black, And that comes before everything else.
(10:08):
Almost every other community I've ever been in, especially when
it comes to gaming, has always treated me black before
anything else. Before I was even treated as a woman,
before I was treated as queer, I was always treated
as black first, and that is a very hard thing
to overcome when you are an age that is still
(10:29):
in the process of growing into who you are. So
the fighting game community was the very first time I
felt like people were seeing me as a woman, as
a queer individual, as someone as someone that deserved to
be here because of what they were putting into the community.
So that's where I stayed. I stayed inside of the
place where I felt welcome, where I didn't feel like
I necessarily had to focus as hard as fighting to
(10:50):
be seen. I still had to fight and to be
seen inside this community. That's not something that just dissipated
for me. It was just significantly easier for me to
do that here than it was inside of the Legal
Legends commun or even aside of the Super Smash Brothers
Maine community. Yeah, that makes sense, I can I can
see that kind of being really really valuable, having a
community where you kind of feel like other aspects, if
(11:12):
you actually get to take the spotlight for once rather
than always being like one. I can understand that being
kind of powerful. I guess it was a nice change.
It was. It was. It was something that allowed me
to be a lot more comfortable playing the game and
focusing on what I wanted to do inside of gaming,
and focusing on the narrative that I wanted to tell.
(11:32):
But also it's one of those things where it's like,
if you have a very big interest in competitive gaming,
naturally you're going to end up inside of one of
these communities. And for a lot of people of color,
especially African Americans, the fighting game community is usually the
most welcoming, just because it's the place where most competitive
(11:52):
people aren't seeing as toxic, They're not seen as loud
and boisterous, they're not kicked out for being like too much,
which is something that happened very frequently when I was
competing inside of League of Legends. I would be seen
as too much or incredibly toxic or too loud or
just like especially if I wasn't considered attractive by someone
just being incredibly annoying. So that doesn't happen as much
(12:13):
inside the fighting and community as it did there, Right,
And I'm so sorry, I've been like picking your brain
for the last I don't know, like ten or fifteen minutes, Competti,
I'm so sorry. I just been listening and absorbing UM
because I know a lot of the things like UM
in my local area, Like I hear a lot of
things that you know, Sharpie's echoing, like how welcoming the
(12:34):
fighting game community is. But you know that shifts when
you UM change into you know, a different type of
video games. So that's like very interesting that that's like
that is really like the universal feeling. And also I
was reflecting, um because my uncle and my mother, Um,
they're born in Philadelphia, but they would always talk about
going to the arcade and my uncle was very competitive
(12:55):
and then my mom kind of got into the competitive spirit. Um.
But like the weird they went to go was the
this local arcade in West Philly. I don't believe is
there anymore, but um, that is something that like that
kind of brought like the community together something positive to
do because you know, growing up in Philly during the
time that they were growing up as it's really tough,
(13:16):
so like that was kind of like their safe haven together,
which was like really really cool. You know when you're
when you're surrounded by like all these things because you know,
the intersectionality is something that like I always talk about
like here on BUSS level and also in gaming in general,
like how do you manage you know, maneuvering through those
lanes constantly? Because I know that can be exhausting because
(13:39):
I know I have my experience, but like what is
your experience kind of managing those different lanes and always
staying focused to what you gotta what you gotta accomplish.
I come first every single time I come first, And
that's a recent conversation I had to start having with myself. Um,
I'm thirty one, like I recently turned thirty one back
(14:00):
in April, but a week before my birthday, I had
a nervous breakdown because my content started blowing up like
two years ago, and I just hadn't stopped for two
years straight. Just about Milady. I know, we did a
shoot with Logitech uh a while back in February where
we were both out there and I was just like
I was running on empty that entire time, but it
(14:21):
was never visible on my face. And I had been
at three for like the last almost seven hundred and
twenty days before that, So it was one of those
things where it's like my body just literally came to
a standstill, because it got to the point where it
was like I was handling, um, the wake, the wake
of the wake of Black Lives Matter with George Floyd's murder.
(14:43):
I was handling like the fighting game community starting to
go through a cleansing and becoming more accepting in general.
I was handling my game Skull Girls, the game that
I had spent several years focusing on getting a spotlight
and needing to be the face of a game that
I didn't necessarily want to be the face of because
I had a negative experience with a previous developer for
(15:03):
the game. Like it was a really hard time for
me and I had to shoulder all of that while
also showing people that we are welcoming and we are friendly.
And I don't think people truly understand how much weight
that can put on someone like me. You know, I've
never really complained about it. I try really hard not
to complain because I know most people don't want to
hear about these struggles. But the truth of the matter
(15:25):
is is that it was weighing on me in my
personal life, especially since at that time I had been
separated from my now fiance, so I was living by
myself in the middle of quarantine. I wasn't able to
talk to anybody. I was literally isolated from my friends
and family while dealing with all of this hate online
just because I was who I was, and it was
(15:46):
very difficult to navigate because I always put community first
before myself. So I'm at a point in time where
now when I want to address something, I'm like, is
this going to cause more stress to you? Then? It
would help somebody else, and if that answer is yes,
I never do It doesn't matter if it would help
(16:06):
the community, doesn't matter if it would help like uh,
marginalized people, if it will hurt me, I do not
do it just because it's I can't. I can't shoulder
that pain anymore. I shouldered it literally for twenty years.
I've been inside of the fighting game community since I
was nineteen years old, was when I hosted my very
first tournament for Super Smash. Brothers. Melee and I have
(16:28):
been NonStop working to make sure the communities that I'm
a part of have always felt like they are welcoming
to people like me and other marginalized people that I
may not necessarily be a part of. But it's one
of those things where I had to stop and be like,
is this something that I can actively continue to do
and continue to support. So I've kind of changed. I
(16:48):
apologize for like the long wooded answer on this, but
to answer your question, managing intersection basically to me means
understanding that I come first and understanding that my community
comes second and then society comes third. If I'm able
to assist my community before society, I will do that.
If I'm able to assist society after I help myself
(17:11):
in my community, I will do that. But I cannot
continue to try to make societal changes when our world
has not necessarily shown that they respect the work ethic
of people like me, especially black fins. I cannot continue
to do that, and so I've had to start saying
no to opportunities I don't feel like respect me or
my community. And that's just how I navigate now. Previous
(17:32):
to this, I would say I do anything that helps
people like me. I don't do that anymore. That's just
y'all can call it spoiled. You can call it Hollywood,
you can call it esports, whatever you want. I don't care, listener.
I am doing it for me, and I'm gonna be
here a real long time, so I have to be
able to be stable. Yeah, you got me. Take care
(17:52):
of yourself. That's very real, especially like for there's just
I've been doing a lot of like unpacking myself, just
as you know, a black person, queer person, you know,
as a woman, and like doing all these unpacking things,
and like I think like I began my metamorphosis. It
was literally just like a tweet by a content creator
that I followed, But it's just like, don't break yourself
(18:13):
down into bite into little pieces. If they can't take
who you are as a whole, let them choke. Yep.
But like then I started, then I started reading belt
Hooks and then I started, like, you know, like getting
more inta. I'm just like like literally, like black women,
we I think there's something just within the Black community,
especially it's like Black films like where we are kind
(18:34):
of expected to shoulder everything and put the self all
the way like to the back, like you know, and
it's just like enough is enough. I love a lot
of the healing that has been happening in the black community,
especially for a black women. UM just saying like no,
like I come first. I'm I'm tired, I'm tired of this.
I'm putting me first. And that's like in every space
(18:56):
that's in every career. Like I don't know, like you know,
be on you know a Black woman TikTok or you
know Black Women's self care take. But like honestly though,
that work is really being done, you know, therapy and
everything like that. So like I don't know, well if
you're watching this on YouTube, but yeah, but for our listeners,
Like I was just sitting in the back like like
(19:16):
that's taking my head because it's just like, no, that's
that's very that's very real because it's just like you know,
especially when like, um, I don't know because you know
we did we did do the thing in February. But
like one thing I do like about Logitech or Astros
that like they take they take us like as we are.
And if they do, you know, it's not like oh
it's black chistory, mom let me do something for you.
Oh it's women's sisters and let me do something to
new They're just like they take I. I felt like
(19:38):
they're like the brand person like I've ever worked with.
That's just like no, we want you, you the person
and that felt like home for me. But it like
it took until this whole time to really realize that
other aspect of that relationship because I I wasn't putting
myself first. So like, I don't apologize because I feel
everything that you're saying. What Yeah, I'm just enjoying sitting
(20:02):
and absorbing it all because I think it's really valuable
to hear, do you know what I mean? Like as
a person, obviously I'm white, so like I don't have
the same experience. I know, imagine I had no idea,
but no I so as a white queer woman, Um,
my experiences are not quite the same obviously, But I
have actually, like seen on social media and stuff, there
(20:22):
is this really weird obsession with especially people putting so
much like burden upon black women and expecting so much
work from black women, And it's baffling to me, And
it's it's something I'm getting exposed to a lot more
as I meet more people in the space, and you
see all these people who are just being expected to
do all of the work, and I'm like, why, how,
(20:45):
how how is that supposed to work? I don't understand,
Like I can only imagine what it feels like to
be that person who's having those expectations placed on you
because it's so much and there's no one else who
seems to be willing to like pull up and actually
pull their way, do you know what I mean? Like,
it's it's the mads in Mathson. What I noticed was
back in during the wake of once again the very
(21:06):
infamous George Floyd murder um, a lot of people were
trying to give voice to people like me, specifically black
thems inside of the community because they thought that we
were supposed to be the voice every single time. And
I have no qualms about speaking about racial relations inside
of the social economic situation, in the social economic environment
(21:31):
that is the United States of America, because I'm very
well learned. I know my history. My parents. I guess
I can say this because they're not considered a terrorist
group anymore. But my parents were originally Black panthers, and
so they taught me about my history. They taught me
about like African history, and my stepmother, who was Ethiopian,
(21:51):
taught me a lot about Northern African history and a
lot of the same things that happened inside of early
chattel slavery because us of Northern African slave trade. And
so there's a lot of things that I know that
standard gamers, even black gamers inside this community, don't know.
There's a lot of things that happen at a higher
level in side of gaming in general that people just
(22:14):
don't know come from extensions of societal issues that happened
specifically because of race relations between African American and the
United States government. And like, my whole thing has never
been specifically to educate people about that. My whole thing
has been if someone asked me a question, I want
to be able to help them understand why it is
that way so that we can do better. But it
(22:35):
should never exclusively be on me to do that. And
I get frustrated because I've never built my platform to
only be about black rights or black societal issues. But
in everybody pushed that on me, and it's not something
you can really put away after you take it out.
That's why I wasn't actively publicly addressing all these things.
I would. I would speak out when I felt like
(22:56):
I needed to mobilize my community for certain issues, but
it was like I was only like, Hey, here's here's
a problem, here's a problem black black, black black black.
I believe in black positivity. I believe in experiencing black
gaming at in everywhere, people talking about, Hey, my family
came out to come see me and twitch ch at
people like Milady. You were like, I saw that and
that was awesome. That reminded me how our families fight. Yes,
(23:19):
that is something that happens that we need to be
reminded of happening, because not enough stories like that are
are shared. When my mom found out I was commentating
e BUTO. The very first thing she said is I'm
a pull up in the aunties chat and tell all
your cousins. That's such a black thing to do, that
is that's such an old black woman thing to do.
She was like, I'm gonna tell the church. You're not
gonna be customed, right, I'm gonna tell the church, you know,
(23:39):
like all of that stuff that's black joy exactly. And
that's what I wanted to build a platform showing is
that that exists. But back when there was only black
anger inside of the world, everyone was pushing me up
to be like, how can we stop all this black anger?
(24:00):
How can we do that? And that just feels very
inauthentic to me, because when you're only mad about black anger,
you don't allow black joy to be seen. You don't
allow black sadness to be seen. You don't allow black um,
black confusion to be seen. You don't see all these
multifaceted emotions that people who are black experience. And you
(24:20):
don't see any of the people who are at the
intersection of black and Caucasian, or black and Hispanic, or
black and Latin X, or black and Asian, either because
you're only focusing on one thing, and I've never liked that.
I've never appreciated that. I've always tried to remove myself
from that. But when my voice needed to be heard,
the unfortunate thing is that once you open that, you
(24:41):
can't box it again. Right. So, after people gave me
a platform, was like, well, what do you think about
the black experience in America? I went off and that's
just all it takes. I lost followers, I gained followers,
but like, I don't care because it's a It's an
aspect of who I am. But I can never put
that away, and I don't regret doing it. I literally
do not. I just if I had been able to
(25:03):
choose my own story, I would have done it significantly
later inside of my career, when I was at a
point where I felt as though my community was ready
to have that conversation. I do not feel like the
United States of America is ready to have that conversation
around race right now, and I don't feel like the
gaming community is in a place where my message ultimately
got to the people who needed to hear it. In
that regard, I am disappointed and I do feel like
(25:23):
I failed my community in some way, shape or form.
But I'm still going to move forward because at the
end of the day, I'm still here, I'm still black,
and I'm still queer, and no one's going to take
that away from me. Yeah. I think it's just very
interesting because, like you know, before, like my background is
in higher education, and a lot of people just didn't
(25:44):
know that. And it wasn't like if somebody asked, like
what I did, Like I'm just like, oh, yeah, I
work in higher education. But it wasn't something I always
put out there. So like, you know, I was working
in rest in this life, but I was also teaching,
so you know, when a lot of those things were
happening and people liked, like, you're so educated on this topic,
I'm like, yeah, this is my nine five Like yeah,
like I want to do. Yeah, the bookshelf that I
(26:05):
have is like that those are things like I read,
I have to actively read for you know, my courses
and my cellabi and stuff like that. So it's like
but yeah, like before that, like it wasn't like I
hit away from those things. It's like once you open
that and then that's the expectation that's put on you,
and I love. I don't remember who the professor was,
but on Twitter she was like, I like wish for
(26:27):
the day where black little girls can come on here
and just be content creators and just be in their
joy and they don't have to be the leader of
the trailblazer of they can just be here and post
about dolls or it was like, you know, really like
silly examples, but like that also matters to come on
here and post about some dolls, post about some buncos
and not have to be the trailer or like, you know,
(26:49):
the trailblazer of Like you could just be you know,
the person that does do that and not have that
expectation put on you or expected of you, because that's
the part that's annoying. It's like the expectation. It's like, no,
I'm just here. I just want to play sir do
and watch the ratchetre unfold. Like that's what I want
to see everybody, the opportunity to see somebody like them
(27:10):
doing just cool ship like it should be. Yeah, like
experiencing things in the games industry, experiencing things and gaming
that is just fun for the sake of being fun.
Every now and then I feel like there's this horrible
pressure for um, obviously, especially black women. It's the one
time that I've seen it more than any other time
(27:31):
to be constantly like at the forefront of leading some
kind of like statement of something or the fight for something.
And it's like, it's fair that y'all are tired, you know.
Like when row Free Wake came up, I saw many
Black women, I think say majority of us be like, yeah,
we're good here. The only comment I made was that, hey, um,
(27:54):
I'm not trying to get suspended on this website, So like,
y'all best be voting, which is what I've been saying
for like the literally the last twelve years of my life. Um.
And if you don't think voting matters, then you're then
you're ignoring the voice of the only thing that you
have as a private, that citizen. If you if you
think that there's another alternative that you would like to do,
then do it. Then go off. But don't don't be
(28:16):
over here telling people to like literally stop the system
that got people out of chattel slavery, Like, don't do that,
you know what I mean? Like, don't my ancestors, my
great grandmother, my grandmother, and my mother have all fought
for the ability for my voice to behold heard at
a local level, to the point that, like I think,
I feel like I shouldn't say this, but I'm going
(28:36):
to say it anyway. When I was sixteen years old,
the high school that I went to was expanding their
districts at a local level. Me being the be, being
the civil minded person that I am that I grew
up to be that my parents have always taught me
to be, went to the school board meeting that they
had in the city council meeting, and I talked about
why our school was a fantastic school that taught a
(28:58):
lot of different people, especially people inside of E. S
l U immigrant children. I talked about how was a
part of the orchestra, how I've been learning several different languages,
how is it inside the IB program, how I was
like uh B plus average student, how I take an
orchestra for at that point, I think fourteen years or so,
because it was offered as out of my public schooling system,
(29:20):
and how it's a fantastic school. I had the suburban
moms who were Caucasian basically come to me to my
face and immediately after me and talk about how my
school was ghetto. How my school had security like detectors
and metal detectors, all these things. How we had shootings
and all these gangs and stuff, just because our school
(29:41):
was more ethnically diverse than other schools inside of our county.
And ultimately the school board and city council listened to
them because they could vote, because they had the ability
to vote people into city council. That's why I'm such
a big advocate for voting, voting at a local level,
especially at local level. If you only vote, vote at
a local level. I went to the y m C
(30:02):
a after school. I was sponsored by the Intel Computer Clubhouse.
We didn't have a computer in my house when I
was growing up. I learned everything that I know about
content today when I was going after school to the
Intel Computer Clubhouse, where I then learned how to make music.
I learned how to create a resume, I learned how
I would do my homework there. I would work on
content creation. I learned Photoshop and Premier. These were things
(30:24):
that would never have been afforded to me that I
actively used today at the age of thirty one. Because
Intel was actively supporting our local y m C at
a local level. Those are things that do not exist
if people do not vote at a local level for
certain places to be around there for people who don't
even and I live in an affluent neighborhood, I was
considered a part of the tent of people that were
(30:46):
lower middle class or upper lower class, that did not
necessarily have enough money to be inside of all these
after school programs. These are things that the local government
provided for me that I was able to get to.
And I don't think enough people understand that or care
about it, especially when it comes to gaming. They don't
understand that gaming is a resource to a lot of
people inside of these neighborhoods that gives them the tools
(31:07):
to get out of these neighborhoods, that gives them the
tool to expand themselves. We are the main demographic that
it could help. And the unfortunate aspect of it is
is that like, we're not the people that it's affecting
because of local laws, because of larger state laws, because
of things that people are not voting at or doing
at a local level. And that all starts with going
(31:27):
out there, registering to vote and being active at your
local level. I was able to tell my local y
m c A Hey, I can get people in with
Logitech and get amazing pressure and and things like that
here so that people can get funded, people can get
scholarships even if they may not necessarily be the best
student because of their creative skills. That is something that
now helps my local community. But like, imagine if that
(31:49):
it never happened because several people generations before me didn't
vote to increase the funding of the communities inside of
my local area. Like that never, I never would be here.
And I think more people need to be aware of
that effect because there are actual children who will never
get to decide where they're born, where they grow up,
(32:10):
and all they'll get is what they have. Then it's
up to us adult, actual adult people over the age
of eighteen, to tell our lobal government, this is what
we want for those children. Just point like period. I
think this is a super awesome conversation and I really
want to continue it, but we have reached a save points,
So we're going to take a super short ad break
and I'm going to pick your brain some more because
(32:31):
I'm enjoying sponging. I feel like I'm absurbing a lot
of information and it's great. So let's take a super
short break and we've back in a second. Welcome back
from our ad um as, We're we're still here with Sharpie,
and you know, we're just having a really great conversation.
(32:51):
It's just really flowing and I absolutely love this. UM.
I want to talk about back about your career. What
are some of the your favorite moments from your career
so far? UM. So, I do want to just reiterate
my full time job is in computer engineering. I work
in I T I'm technically helped us, but they pay
me very well, So I actually don't care about like
(33:12):
my title or anything like if they give me seventy
five grand a year, like, I don't care what you
call me, call me tier one whatever. If I get benefits,
I cool. But inside of my gaming career, I think
the important thing to notice that I have been streaming
for now twelve years. I started back in and one
of the things that I've noticed is um I started
streaming on Twitch. One of the things that I've noticed
(33:35):
is how different the ecosystem has come for people like
me who are just trying to be creative and trying
to create a community, and how unfortunate it is that
because we exist inside of a system where creation is
now seen as commodifiable and not necessarily unique. UM, voices
like myself unfortunately sometimes go unheard. UM. So I've always
(34:00):
tried to create content that speaks to me specifically. So
a lot of my content comes from my music background
because I played violin for I guess going on twenty
two years. I was professionally classically taught UM and I
played for a very long time inside of school. So
now a lot of my content inside of gaming, especially
(34:20):
since I it's almost exclusively live on TikTok. Now most
of my content it revolves around a musical look at
video games and an interesting look on the day to
day of competitive gaming. So I've always thought that TikTok
has become a better resource for creators who are just
looking to grow a community in general. But Twitch is
(34:43):
still a really good resource for people trying to get paid,
Like it's really easy to make money on tip twitch, UM,
at least for me, like I I bring in subs
like crazy. Subs are very easy for me to gain
because I know how to be like entertaining because of
my musical background and because of my performing backgroun own.
But I've noticed that TikTok tends to reward people who
(35:05):
are just consistently posting, which is really easy when you
could post anything on there instead of like having to
have the equipment to go live. So I guess my
content background is. I started on Twitch. I fell out
of love with Twitch because I didn't feel as though
we're they're respecting me as a creator, and they weren't
respecting a lot of people, um that looked like me
(35:26):
as creators. So I left Twitch, went over to TikTok,
and now I just kind of live on TikTok and YouTube. Yeah,
is very interesting prospective Twitch because I was talking to
like a few people and it's just like as far
as like the pay and stuff like that, because I know,
like that's been a trending topic. I mean, I'm mute
streamer Twitter. Like three months ago I had peace on Twitter,
(35:48):
but like I know, before I did that, it was
a lot of it was talking about like the pay discrepancy,
and like I think that's when they something had leaked
and they were saying like, oh, everybody's going to go
to the splint and then like all the top white
creators and I was like um, but um, yeah, that's
very interesting because I haven't like heard that perspective that
(36:09):
despite me being on the Twitch front page a total
of six times this year, um eleven times last year,
and being verified on Twitter and having over three hundred
concurrent viewers, while I was on the front page of
the invited very first Black History Month activation that Twitch had,
(36:31):
I am still not a Twitch partner, so I should
say that first and foremost, and it's not it's not.
In fact, Twitch denied me partnership the day after Black
History Month. Yeah yeah, yeah, I have the email and
I will send a screencap to both of you. But
it's like, literally Women's Months started and they were like,
(36:52):
actually you didn't. Yeah, no, hey, that's why I'm out
of love with Twitch as a platform. That's fair. I
it's not for me. The adverte they were running ads
on my I got affiliate within two days of me
get of me literally getting affiliate. I literally got affiliate
within forty eight hours with me of that of that
(37:13):
program being released publicly. I am somebody that Twitch actively
profited off of during Black History Month. I got an
eight eight hundred and forty dollar payout, and I know
for a fact, Twitch made over two thousand dollars off
of my channel. I know that for a fact. And
so when people ask me why I'm not streaming on Twitch,
(37:35):
why I'm not doing this because they do not respect
me as a creator. They have had multiple times to
respect me as a creator. I am currently applying for
partnership right now because times too. But it's like, why
should I Why should I be over here fighting and
chucking and jiving to get partnership just to get a
little bit more pennies when there are other platforms who
are begging for streamers like me? Who when I inspire
(37:58):
all these other streamers, When I am a technical based
person who learned how to do hardware inside of college,
who went to school for this stuff, who creates an
amazing experience with my high tech software, why should I
be fighting to stay on your platform because you're the
only one here. No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't know
who told you that, but I got a choice, and
as long as I got a choice, I'm not staying here.
(38:18):
So like, that's that's my whole thing about my content
journey is realizing that I have worth that just because
my worth doesn't exist to a certain company it does
to others, And shout out to Logitech for always respecting
my worth even when I moved to other platforms, because
if there's one thing they do is give me a check,
all right, regardless regardless, because they see how I activate
(38:39):
my audience. They know what my activated, they know what
my audience is purchasing, and they know the metrics that
are being used to measure my audience, and they like
those metrics. They don't like the same metrics that like
Ninja uses because Ninja could have the exact same activation
as me and actually get a lower like a lower
click through rate because he's not as he's not as
into he's not to integrate his source material as easily
(39:02):
as I am. And like I think that something people
create is like forget is that I am a creative
and an artist first, right, I am a gamer after
I create for sponsors material and I can do that,
I can create. I wish more people recognize that aspect
of myself. Um, but you know, it's it's what happens
inside of this industry, right, It's capitalism absolutely, and that
(39:25):
we're gonna we're gonna have to have a conversation with
me after that because oh my god, did you psyche?
I didn't know. Do you think it's changing, Do you
think it's getting better? Do you think it's getting I
don't think it will ever get better as long as
Amazon owns it. Amazon cares about one thing, like people
have to understand. And this is no shade in any way,
(39:47):
shape or form to companies. But people have to understand
first and foremost, twhich is a business, twhich is the
number one streaming website on the internet. YouTube doesn't even
beat it for live content. It is the number one
streaming website on the internet, which is the reason why
Amazon purchased it. The ads that everyone's getting now everyone
knew who was moving to that the minute Amazon purchased it.
(40:09):
Twitch cleaned house. This is not news, This is not
brand new. Everybody fighting for stuff now needs to understand
it's been over. Amazon does not care. Amazon doesn't care.
They have already spent money on these acquisitions. They don't
care about retaining people. They already have the platform. Twitch
is already a brand name. If I tell my uncle
about Twitch, he'll know what it is. If I tell
(40:30):
my nephew about Twitch, he'll know what it is. It's
not about getting the brand name out there anymore. Like Mixer,
they bought a product and that product will provide ads
the top like sponsors, large sponsors PlayStation Sony, like Microsoft
will buy ads on Twitch. It doesn't matter who's streaming
there or not. They will buy ads on that platform.
(40:53):
It's bigger than any streamer. I left because my voice
was not valued by a small aspect of that company
that I thought valued my my voice. I left because
competitive gaming like Twitch did not respect my voice. Gaming
partnership Twitch did not respect my voice. So I left.
That's just what it is now. Occasually come back because
I want to. That's my choice. That is completely and
(41:15):
totally my choice. But my main platform will be TikTok
and that's because I feel as though TikTok is working
harder at respecting my voice than Twitch ever did. And
that's just what it is. The hate raids that have
been happening recently that everyone's complaining about, like as of
a year and a half ago. The very first time
I got hate rated in two thousand and fifteen by
(41:37):
four chan, And my whole thing is, if it's still
happening today, do you really think Twitch is dedicated to changing. Like,
call me a fool once, but I ain't Bobo the
fool twice. That's what I'm saying. That's how I feel
about it. And so it's like when people tell me,
can it change? Yeah, it can. Will it change? No?
They have a business model that works. They have their
stock options, they have their equity options. Amazon stock went
(42:00):
up after they acquired Twitch. It will continue to go
up even if Bezos isn't the head, because that is
a company, and companies make profit. They're bigger than any
one person. Yeah, for sure. Like I represent Logitech. You
think if I don't represent Logitech tomorrow, the company is
gonna fail. No, it'll be fine, regardless. It'll be fine regardless.
(42:22):
Companies are not people. People are not companies. And I
think something that we do inside the gaming community is
creating a fallacy where we believe that one is the other,
and that's not true. Stop coming for creators. When you're
when you're mad at a company, right, I got mad
at the company. And that's why I had to be
quiet about being mad at the company. Is because when
(42:45):
you mad at a company and you're somebody like me,
it becomes an issue. You know what I'm saying like
it becomes a problem. And honestly, I wouldn't have shared
that story if Twitch had just bought my silence, my
partnering me. It was very simple. It was very simple.
Do you feel like there's this really weird like obsession
with I certainly see it in like twitch chat. I
see it on Twitter all the time, where people for
(43:06):
some reasons seem to like put companies on a pedestal
and treat them like they give a ship about you.
Like I'm sorry, but that like a lot of the time,
And obviously there are definitely exceptions to that that rule to
an extent, But like a company is going to prioritize profit,
that's just the way it is. And by giving them
like you're kind of like anthropomorphizing them and giving them
(43:27):
human qualities when they're a collection of people and the
people at the top are geared towards money. That's just
the way it is. And I don't I don't mind
it as much as I used to when I was younger,
because I'm old enough to understand that companies are just uh.
Companies are just a byproduct of the societal norms that
(43:49):
we live in inside of Western culture today, which is
of course capitalism, right. And I feel bad because every
single conversation I have is like an UNO reverse card,
where it's like, what is if you're gonna bring up capitalism,
you know, like what a shark? Are you gonna do that?
And the realities of it is is not that capitalism
is bad. It's really just that, like I think people
(44:10):
forget that capitalism is a relationship between people and companies, right.
It's supply and demand, and when you remove people's opportunity
to interact with it, then it becomes a much more
disgusting version of capitalism, you know. So I would say
that it's not even like this version of capitalism we're
currently and a lot of people say late stage capitalism
(44:30):
all the time. I like to say it's it's a
byproduct of us not using our voices and being very
content with what we're getting instead of understanding what we're
giving up in the process. As someone that understands my
history and someone that understands the possibilities of where we
can go, it's really difficult for me to feel comfortable
always giving up my voice, even if it means that
(44:51):
things maybe a little bit harder for me in the
short run. But I can't do that anymore because I'm
old and I'm tired. I gotta protect my piece. So
it's like, it's just that's what I was doing throughout
my twenties, was fighting for that change. When I realized
a lot of people in my age group, especially inside
of gaming, weren't as concerned about doing that, and seeing
them get opportunities regardless, and seeing them stop fighting the
man because they didn't really care about the man until
(45:13):
it personally affected them, I was like, you know what,
the system, The system is really crazy because it it uh,
it promotes apathy. Yes, it promotes apathy, and it rewards.
It rewards people for being complacent. And ultimately that's why
(45:33):
I'm comfortable with the company like Logitech, which encourages me
to be as loud as I want about topics that
really ultimately matter to me and towards moving towards a
more equitable future, which is what I feel like Logitech
is doing. That's great that I promise we should say
like this this podcast is not sponsored by logs, just
just that happens every episode Because I always read up
(45:57):
Logitech as an example for something. It was just like
it's a good example, like microphone set, Logitech Aurora shirt bro. Look,
look I am paid for Okay, I'm just I'm saying that, like,
(46:17):
there are very few companies who will take a chance
on somebody like me, and Seeing and Tell like unofficially
sponsored me from a young age just by providing for
me at the y m c A. Seeing Logitech do
it for me now so I can continue to be
a voice for emerging voices, especially black film voices, inside
of the gaming community, inside the competitive gaming community. That
makes me happy, and I feel like that's we're shouting out.
(46:38):
So um, Ultimately, I do feel as that you should
be supporting, obviously sponsors that allow for a fantastic film
based podcast like this to occur and to have people
like me on. But I would be I would be
lying if I didn't say to grab yourself a Logitech Bria,
which is a webcam that I'm using right now, I'd
be lying. I I'm very conscious that we're going to
(47:01):
run out of time very soon, so I would really
love to ask Sharpie, do you have any upcoming projects
that you'd like to shout out or things that you're
gonna be working on that you'd like to share and
can share, I do and I can. I can officially
announce that I am exclusively a MultiVersus content creator moving forward,
meaning that I am directly working with Warner brother Games
as well as Player First Games in order to help
(47:23):
market the game. So I'm incredibly excited about that. You
can follow me on TikTok dot com, slash at sign
d a Purple Sharpie. I am also on YouTube, and
more importantly, I am on Instagram the Purple sharp on
literally all platforms and if you enjoyed my voice, I
do also have a podcast that I do with trans
Firm by the name of Jehosi from the fighting game community,
(47:43):
where we talk about trending topics inside the fighting and
community and the gaming community in general, called FTC cast
wherever you get your local podcasts, specifically on Spotify. So
I really hope people will support us as we try
to support others and amplify their voices inside of the
specifically traditional fighting game community. Awesome, thank you so much
for taking the time to talk to both of us.
(48:04):
It's been really great talking to you and I'm just
sad we don't have more time because this conversation was amazing.
I like a real pleasure. Oh my god, I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry. I wish I had literally infinite amount
of time to talk to you about. Totally understand, you've
got stuff to do. Totally understand. Um and Confetti, Where
can people find you? I am Milady Compettio on all platforms, Um.
(48:24):
I don't have anything really special to announce, but yes,
you can follow me on all of my platforms at
Malady Competti sweet and I am Psyche. I'm Psyche on
Twitch and Psyche plays on Twitter and pretty much all
social media except for TikTok is. My name was taken
and I was not smart about branding at all, um,
and I am. The only thing I have to show
is that I'm doing a very local talk on mental
health in gaming next Thursday with the local charity organization
(48:47):
that focuses on mental health and other kinds of health
within gaming and gambling. UM. So I will be doing
that in stay tuned on social media. If I can
find a link for it, I will share it. Um.
But yeah, that was pretty much it from all of us.
Thank you so much again, Sharpe for taking the time
to talk to us. UM. Your side quest this week
everyone is to catch us on social media at the
Boss Level Pod that is Boss l v L Pod,
(49:09):
and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel for
video episodes as well. You can find all the input
for that on our social media. Thank you so much
everyone for the support so far. We will see you
in the next episode. Bye bye
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Boss Level, a podcast
where we feature conversations with guests who have leveled up
bringing an XP boost to the table. This week, you're
here with me, Psyche and the incredible Milady Confetti. Hey, Confetti,
how are you doing a little? I'm doing good. That's
so nice to record with you again. Yes, it has
been too long, It really has. I feel like there's
(00:23):
so many like there's so much space between each of
the episodes where we get to record with each other,
and it's wild. And I was listening to you talking
to Jas talking about needing to play games together. When
are we going to play Stardy Valley together? Yes, there's multiplayer,
we need to do it. Oh well then soon? Hell
do you know that? I would love that because I've
been enjoying all of your like TikTok's and stuff from
(00:45):
your journey into Sturgy Valley and the wildness that just
seems to come out of it. So today's episode, we
are joined by the Purple Sharpie, also known as Sharpie
and American fighting game content creator, influencer, and show host.
She is known for being the first woman to commentate
Evia online, organizing fighting game tournaments at Zanogy Games. I'm
(01:08):
co funding Combo Queen's Hi Sharpie, thank you so much
for joining us today. Thank you so much for having
me both of you. I really appreciate it, and that
did a lot of justice to everything I've done. I
I feel like a more succinct version of everything that
I do is I really like playing video games and
anyway I'm able to intrigate that, I'll literally like integrate
that into my life. That's what I do. That's awesome.
(01:30):
I respect that completely. How are you doing today, I'm
doing really well. You know. Um, I just came back
from EVO. Evil was about a week and a half ago.
It's the biggest fighting game event inside of the world.
And as you stated, I was the very first woman
to ever commentate Evil online last year, uh, which was
the very first year that they had it, I was
the only woman there. And this year, I was one
of the very first people to ever commentate Skuldgirls Top
(01:52):
eight at EVO, which was at Evil for the very
first time. So I'm really excited. Uh. That was really awesome.
But I also more specifically got to host Multi Versus,
which is the number one fighting game in the world
right now, so that was like a really big flex.
My mom tuned in and everything it was. Can I
say I loved him? The TikTok I think that was
Friday or Saturday, and I saw you talking about your
(02:14):
family pulling up and like you're not reading the twitch
chat um, which I'm glad because when I was doing hosting,
I didn't read twitch chat at all. I'm very glad
I didn't do that. I went back for like so
for one second, I'm like, oh, that's brutal in there,
but you know, your whole family pulled up and was
defending you and chat. I was like, that's that's fired.
They were taking names. One of my mom's cousins is
(02:36):
like literally a drill instructor with a police academy in California.
Like he was trying to get people like taken down
from the internet and stuff. I was like, whoa, whoa,
whoa wa these random children on the internet, Like they
can't hurt me. I get paid regardless of what they
say about me. You all. Like I just know that.
I had to have a real conversation with her and like, Mom,
(02:56):
it's okay, this is not the first time it's happened
to me. My sponsors will or me regardless. As long
as I don't engage with them, you can do whatever
you want, just like, don't get me in trouble, don't
interrupt my bag. Like, but it was, it was cute,
It's real. It's just like it's a part of I
think a lot of people forget that gaming isn't just
like white people inside of the space. It's not just men.
(03:20):
It's not just people who identify as as female either,
And so when I get to the intersection of being
like a queer, black, FIM presenting person on the internet,
there's not always positivity that's met here. And I have
to like remind my family that even though they they're
not used to people speaking to me this way, that's
how people treat me on the internet very frequently, especially
(03:41):
people that don't know me, And they just needed to
understand that and understand I was collecting the bag regardless,
you know, and they were happy for me, very very happy.
But I love the MultiVersus community. Most of the people
were sending me love and support and that's all I
ever focus on. I still don't read twitch commons and
can't nobody pay me to do that? Sore fair respect
(04:02):
that it's it's hard. I like, I I think you
kind of hit the nail on the head, Like if
you're not what is seen as the default in the
twitch space or in the online content creation space, it's
wild the amount of toxicity, and especially if you're at
an intersection between communities, it's it's like, it's got to
be really tough, and it shouldn't be, and it shouldn't
be that your family have to come to defend you.
(04:24):
But I mean amazing that you have that kind of
support network. That's really really cool. To be fair, it
helped that they knew I was getting paid a lot
of money, like this is the very first time they've
ever seen me do this, and it was a big
enough achievement. Like EVO is the biggest fighting game event
in the world. There are people who have never heard
of fighting games and certain other games that they've heard
(04:45):
of EVO or they recognize certain aspects of EVO. So
I felt like it was really an important milestone for
me to bring my family into something that I haven't
necessarily felt comfortable doing before that. Yeah, for sure. Um, so,
I guess let's get into character select and learn a
little bit more about you. Could you maybe kind of
give us an idea of the back story behind your
name to Purple Sharpie. Where did that come from? I
(05:07):
don't legally think I'm allowed to tell you. I apologize
about that, but I will say that suffice it to
say I had a significantly different user name that I
don't feel comfortable discussing why it came about, but it did,
and it was Sharpie UM or some form of Sharpie.
And then after a um conversation that I had with
(05:29):
a certain unknown brand that I will not mention for
legal purposes here, I rebranded to something that was not
as recognizable than I P and much more of my own,
not a copy written specifically. So funny story, though, very
funny story. Back in two thousand eighteen, when I first
started like getting a little bit more notarized inside of
(05:49):
the fighting game community with Dragon Ball Fighters coming out,
I actually applied to uh Nestill Gamings or Nestill Ink,
which is the organization that like owned the I P
of Sharpie, right, and I sent them this whole email
and I was like, Hey, here's who I am, here
are my stats, here's my deck. You guys should sponsoring
me because I'm gonna be huge one day. And they're
(06:11):
like in a really classic just like huge Corp way,
They're like, we send out sponsorships, we don't respond to inquiries.
Have a good time just so you know, we don't discriminate.
Also and have a good day. And I was like, okay,
very very boiler plate legal for purposes like unknown, we
(06:32):
have no clue who you are, we don't care who
you are, and like we're not sponsoring you. And I
was like, dang, I'm gonna make sure that they regret that,
and they did, or I hope that they do. I
hope that they understand how much like opportunities, how much
money I could have made them if we were just aligned.
But yeah, shout outs to actual brands that work with
me for sure. It's crazy though, Like it's just wild
(06:55):
to me because the fact that you got like such
a boiler plate and also as soon as you hear that,
like we don't discriminate your media or like yeah, that's
code language word. We have a default type. It really
what they have certain sponsored players underneath them, most of
which are underneath racing or things like skateboarding and snowboarding,
(07:17):
like very very big sports, not necessarily E sports, Like
they don't have a single E sports player under them.
It's it's almost all like New age sports skating, you know, boating, rowing,
things like that, and they all appear to be a
certain way, right, But I think the language there was
basically so that if someone did get denied, they couldn't
(07:39):
be like it's because I'm at an intersection, you know.
But things like that give me fuel to like spite
people even more, which I'm happy to say I have.
Like so now when you google my name, like a
lot of people will tag me on Twitter because I
have the tag name of my display name is Sharpie.
My tag is the purple Sharpie, So people will type
(08:00):
in Sharpie and I'll actually come up first before Sharpie,
which I'm sure gets got me a lot of hate
during our previous administration being there for like Sharpie Gate,
which I didn't really care that much about because I
was able to sell those impressions to sponsors. But it
was like it was really funny because people be like, yeah,
that's why those those Republicans are doing this. I'm like, hey,
(08:21):
what's up? I play E sports? Um, why am I trending?
You know, it's really it's funny stuff like that. That's
always that happens to me because my name is so
similar to other I p s. That's really interesting. UM,
what's your favorite game? On streamer off? I would you
say that with content creation and the fact that you've
kind of focused on fighting games, would like your favorite
(08:42):
games be fighting games or do you have other things
that you enjoy playing as well. I consider myself a
gamer first and foremost. I believe I gained notoriety because
I started competing specifically inside the fighting games school Girls,
But prior to that, I was competing in Super Smap Brothers, Melee.
And A common misconception is that people think that I
only like fighting games. The reality is I have competed
(09:04):
in several different games besides fighting games. I competed at
a collegiate level for League of Legends and a local level.
I hosted events and large tournaments, which gave me the
skills to run tournaments that I run today. UM, but
certain communities, especially competitive communities, are not always welcoming to
people that happened to be of color. UM. The fighting
(09:26):
game community was birthed around arcades, specifically inside of inner
cities inside of the continental United States and inside of Japan,
and so a majority of people that attended these locations
didn't have money for Commodore's or Nintendos or a lot
of gaming system Mike, Sega, Genesis, so they went to
our kaides to play, and most of those people were
(09:46):
people of color, specifically African American communities. So a large
demographic of people inside of the fighting game community, specifically
the traditional fighting game community, are African American. They do
look like me. So the reason I'm well known as
this community is, to be very frank, this is one
of the only communities that didn't immediately look at me
and you're like, you're black, And that comes before everything else.
(10:08):
Almost every other community I've ever been in, especially when
it comes to gaming, has always treated me black before
anything else. Before I was even treated as a woman,
before I was treated as queer, I was always treated
as black first, and that is a very hard thing
to overcome when you are an age that is still
(10:29):
in the process of growing into who you are. So
the fighting game community was the very first time I
felt like people were seeing me as a woman, as
a queer individual, as someone as someone that deserved to
be here because of what they were putting into the community.
So that's where I stayed. I stayed inside of the
place where I felt welcome, where I didn't feel like
I necessarily had to focus as hard as fighting to
(10:50):
be seen. I still had to fight and to be
seen inside this community. That's not something that just dissipated
for me. It was just significantly easier for me to
do that here than it was inside of the Legal
Legends commun or even aside of the Super Smash Brothers
Maine community. Yeah, that makes sense, I can I can
see that kind of being really really valuable, having a
community where you kind of feel like other aspects, if
(11:12):
you actually get to take the spotlight for once rather
than always being like one. I can understand that being
kind of powerful. I guess it was a nice change.
It was. It was. It was something that allowed me
to be a lot more comfortable playing the game and
focusing on what I wanted to do inside of gaming,
and focusing on the narrative that I wanted to tell.
(11:32):
But also it's one of those things where it's like,
if you have a very big interest in competitive gaming,
naturally you're going to end up inside of one of
these communities. And for a lot of people of color,
especially African Americans, the fighting game community is usually the
most welcoming, just because it's the place where most competitive
(11:52):
people aren't seeing as toxic, They're not seen as loud
and boisterous, they're not kicked out for being like too much,
which is something that happened very frequently when I was
competing inside of League of Legends. I would be seen
as too much or incredibly toxic or too loud or
just like especially if I wasn't considered attractive by someone
just being incredibly annoying. So that doesn't happen as much
(12:13):
inside the fighting and community as it did there, Right,
And I'm so sorry, I've been like picking your brain
for the last I don't know, like ten or fifteen minutes, Competti,
I'm so sorry. I just been listening and absorbing UM
because I know a lot of the things like UM
in my local area, Like I hear a lot of
things that you know, Sharpie's echoing, like how welcoming the
(12:34):
fighting game community is. But you know that shifts when
you UM change into you know, a different type of
video games. So that's like very interesting that that's like
that is really like the universal feeling. And also I
was reflecting, um because my uncle and my mother, Um,
they're born in Philadelphia, but they would always talk about
going to the arcade and my uncle was very competitive
(12:55):
and then my mom kind of got into the competitive spirit. Um.
But like the weird they went to go was the
this local arcade in West Philly. I don't believe is
there anymore, but um, that is something that like that
kind of brought like the community together something positive to
do because you know, growing up in Philly during the
time that they were growing up as it's really tough,
(13:16):
so like that was kind of like their safe haven together,
which was like really really cool. You know when you're
when you're surrounded by like all these things because you know,
the intersectionality is something that like I always talk about
like here on BUSS level and also in gaming in general,
like how do you manage you know, maneuvering through those
lanes constantly? Because I know that can be exhausting because
(13:39):
I know I have my experience, but like what is
your experience kind of managing those different lanes and always
staying focused to what you gotta what you gotta accomplish.
I come first every single time I come first, And
that's a recent conversation I had to start having with myself. Um,
I'm thirty one, like I recently turned thirty one back
(14:00):
in April, but a week before my birthday, I had
a nervous breakdown because my content started blowing up like
two years ago, and I just hadn't stopped for two
years straight. Just about Milady. I know, we did a
shoot with Logitech uh a while back in February where
we were both out there and I was just like
I was running on empty that entire time, but it
(14:21):
was never visible on my face. And I had been
at three for like the last almost seven hundred and
twenty days before that, So it was one of those
things where it's like my body just literally came to
a standstill, because it got to the point where it
was like I was handling, um, the wake, the wake
of the wake of Black Lives Matter with George Floyd's murder.
(14:43):
I was handling like the fighting game community starting to
go through a cleansing and becoming more accepting in general.
I was handling my game Skull Girls, the game that
I had spent several years focusing on getting a spotlight
and needing to be the face of a game that
I didn't necessarily want to be the face of because
I had a negative experience with a previous developer for
(15:03):
the game. Like it was a really hard time for
me and I had to shoulder all of that while
also showing people that we are welcoming and we are friendly.
And I don't think people truly understand how much weight
that can put on someone like me. You know, I've
never really complained about it. I try really hard not
to complain because I know most people don't want to
hear about these struggles. But the truth of the matter
(15:25):
is is that it was weighing on me in my
personal life, especially since at that time I had been
separated from my now fiance, so I was living by
myself in the middle of quarantine. I wasn't able to
talk to anybody. I was literally isolated from my friends
and family while dealing with all of this hate online
just because I was who I was, and it was
(15:46):
very difficult to navigate because I always put community first
before myself. So I'm at a point in time where
now when I want to address something, I'm like, is
this going to cause more stress to you? Then? It
would help somebody else, and if that answer is yes,
I never do It doesn't matter if it would help
(16:06):
the community, doesn't matter if it would help like uh,
marginalized people, if it will hurt me, I do not
do it just because it's I can't. I can't shoulder
that pain anymore. I shouldered it literally for twenty years.
I've been inside of the fighting game community since I
was nineteen years old, was when I hosted my very
first tournament for Super Smash. Brothers. Melee and I have
(16:28):
been NonStop working to make sure the communities that I'm
a part of have always felt like they are welcoming
to people like me and other marginalized people that I
may not necessarily be a part of. But it's one
of those things where I had to stop and be like,
is this something that I can actively continue to do
and continue to support. So I've kind of changed. I
(16:48):
apologize for like the long wooded answer on this, but
to answer your question, managing intersection basically to me means
understanding that I come first and understanding that my community
comes second and then society comes third. If I'm able
to assist my community before society, I will do that.
If I'm able to assist society after I help myself
(17:11):
in my community, I will do that. But I cannot
continue to try to make societal changes when our world
has not necessarily shown that they respect the work ethic
of people like me, especially black fins. I cannot continue
to do that, and so I've had to start saying
no to opportunities I don't feel like respect me or
my community. And that's just how I navigate now. Previous
(17:32):
to this, I would say I do anything that helps
people like me. I don't do that anymore. That's just
y'all can call it spoiled. You can call it Hollywood,
you can call it esports, whatever you want. I don't care, listener.
I am doing it for me, and I'm gonna be
here a real long time, so I have to be
able to be stable. Yeah, you got me. Take care
(17:52):
of yourself. That's very real, especially like for there's just
I've been doing a lot of like unpacking myself, just
as you know, a black person, queer person, you know,
as a woman, and like doing all these unpacking things,
and like I think like I began my metamorphosis. It
was literally just like a tweet by a content creator
that I followed, But it's just like, don't break yourself
(18:13):
down into bite into little pieces. If they can't take
who you are as a whole, let them choke. Yep.
But like then I started, then I started reading belt
Hooks and then I started, like, you know, like getting
more inta. I'm just like like literally, like black women,
we I think there's something just within the Black community,
especially it's like Black films like where we are kind
(18:34):
of expected to shoulder everything and put the self all
the way like to the back, like you know, and
it's just like enough is enough. I love a lot
of the healing that has been happening in the black community,
especially for a black women. UM just saying like no,
like I come first. I'm I'm tired, I'm tired of this.
I'm putting me first. And that's like in every space
(18:56):
that's in every career. Like I don't know, like you know,
be on you know a Black woman TikTok or you
know Black Women's self care take. But like honestly though,
that work is really being done, you know, therapy and
everything like that. So like I don't know, well if
you're watching this on YouTube, but yeah, but for our listeners,
Like I was just sitting in the back like like
(19:16):
that's taking my head because it's just like, no, that's
that's very that's very real because it's just like you know,
especially when like, um, I don't know because you know
we did we did do the thing in February. But
like one thing I do like about Logitech or Astros
that like they take they take us like as we are.
And if they do, you know, it's not like oh
it's black chistory, mom let me do something for you.
Oh it's women's sisters and let me do something to
new They're just like they take I. I felt like
(19:38):
they're like the brand person like I've ever worked with.
That's just like no, we want you, you the person
and that felt like home for me. But it like
it took until this whole time to really realize that
other aspect of that relationship because I I wasn't putting
myself first. So like, I don't apologize because I feel
everything that you're saying. What Yeah, I'm just enjoying sitting
(20:02):
and absorbing it all because I think it's really valuable
to hear, do you know what I mean? Like as
a person, obviously I'm white, so like I don't have
the same experience. I know, imagine I had no idea,
but no I so as a white queer woman, Um,
my experiences are not quite the same obviously, But I
have actually, like seen on social media and stuff, there
(20:22):
is this really weird obsession with especially people putting so
much like burden upon black women and expecting so much
work from black women, And it's baffling to me, And
it's it's something I'm getting exposed to a lot more
as I meet more people in the space, and you
see all these people who are just being expected to
do all of the work, and I'm like, why, how,
(20:45):
how how is that supposed to work? I don't understand,
Like I can only imagine what it feels like to
be that person who's having those expectations placed on you
because it's so much and there's no one else who
seems to be willing to like pull up and actually
pull their way, do you know what I mean? Like,
it's it's the mads in Mathson. What I noticed was
back in during the wake of once again the very
(21:06):
infamous George Floyd murder um, a lot of people were
trying to give voice to people like me, specifically black
thems inside of the community because they thought that we
were supposed to be the voice every single time. And
I have no qualms about speaking about racial relations inside
of the social economic situation, in the social economic environment
(21:31):
that is the United States of America, because I'm very
well learned. I know my history. My parents. I guess
I can say this because they're not considered a terrorist
group anymore. But my parents were originally Black panthers, and
so they taught me about my history. They taught me
about like African history, and my stepmother, who was Ethiopian,
(21:51):
taught me a lot about Northern African history and a
lot of the same things that happened inside of early
chattel slavery because us of Northern African slave trade. And
so there's a lot of things that I know that
standard gamers, even black gamers inside this community, don't know.
There's a lot of things that happen at a higher
level in side of gaming in general that people just
(22:14):
don't know come from extensions of societal issues that happened
specifically because of race relations between African American and the
United States government. And like, my whole thing has never
been specifically to educate people about that. My whole thing
has been if someone asked me a question, I want
to be able to help them understand why it is
that way so that we can do better. But it
(22:35):
should never exclusively be on me to do that. And
I get frustrated because I've never built my platform to
only be about black rights or black societal issues. But
in everybody pushed that on me, and it's not something
you can really put away after you take it out.
That's why I wasn't actively publicly addressing all these things.
I would. I would speak out when I felt like
(22:56):
I needed to mobilize my community for certain issues, but
it was like I was only like, Hey, here's here's
a problem, here's a problem black black, black black black.
I believe in black positivity. I believe in experiencing black
gaming at in everywhere, people talking about, Hey, my family
came out to come see me and twitch ch at
people like Milady. You were like, I saw that and
that was awesome. That reminded me how our families fight. Yes,
(23:19):
that is something that happens that we need to be
reminded of happening, because not enough stories like that are
are shared. When my mom found out I was commentating
e BUTO. The very first thing she said is I'm
a pull up in the aunties chat and tell all
your cousins. That's such a black thing to do, that
is that's such an old black woman thing to do.
She was like, I'm gonna tell the church. You're not
gonna be customed, right, I'm gonna tell the church, you know,
(23:39):
like all of that stuff that's black joy exactly. And
that's what I wanted to build a platform showing is
that that exists. But back when there was only black
anger inside of the world, everyone was pushing me up
to be like, how can we stop all this black anger?
(24:00):
How can we do that? And that just feels very
inauthentic to me, because when you're only mad about black anger,
you don't allow black joy to be seen. You don't
allow black sadness to be seen. You don't allow black um,
black confusion to be seen. You don't see all these
multifaceted emotions that people who are black experience. And you
(24:20):
don't see any of the people who are at the
intersection of black and Caucasian, or black and Hispanic, or
black and Latin X, or black and Asian, either because
you're only focusing on one thing, and I've never liked that.
I've never appreciated that. I've always tried to remove myself
from that. But when my voice needed to be heard,
the unfortunate thing is that once you open that, you
(24:41):
can't box it again. Right. So, after people gave me
a platform, was like, well, what do you think about
the black experience in America? I went off and that's
just all it takes. I lost followers, I gained followers,
but like, I don't care because it's a It's an
aspect of who I am. But I can never put
that away, and I don't regret doing it. I literally
do not. I just if I had been able to
(25:03):
choose my own story, I would have done it significantly
later inside of my career, when I was at a
point where I felt as though my community was ready
to have that conversation. I do not feel like the
United States of America is ready to have that conversation
around race right now, and I don't feel like the
gaming community is in a place where my message ultimately
got to the people who needed to hear it. In
that regard, I am disappointed and I do feel like
(25:23):
I failed my community in some way, shape or form.
But I'm still going to move forward because at the
end of the day, I'm still here, I'm still black,
and I'm still queer, and no one's going to take
that away from me. Yeah. I think it's just very
interesting because, like you know, before, like my background is
in higher education, and a lot of people just didn't
(25:44):
know that. And it wasn't like if somebody asked, like
what I did, Like I'm just like, oh, yeah, I
work in higher education. But it wasn't something I always
put out there. So like, you know, I was working
in rest in this life, but I was also teaching,
so you know, when a lot of those things were
happening and people liked, like, you're so educated on this topic,
I'm like, yeah, this is my nine five Like yeah,
like I want to do. Yeah, the bookshelf that I
(26:05):
have is like that those are things like I read,
I have to actively read for you know, my courses
and my cellabi and stuff like that. So it's like
but yeah, like before that, like it wasn't like I
hit away from those things. It's like once you open
that and then that's the expectation that's put on you,
and I love. I don't remember who the professor was,
but on Twitter she was like, I like wish for
(26:27):
the day where black little girls can come on here
and just be content creators and just be in their
joy and they don't have to be the leader of
the trailblazer of they can just be here and post
about dolls or it was like, you know, really like
silly examples, but like that also matters to come on
here and post about some dolls, post about some buncos
and not have to be the trailer or like, you know,
(26:49):
the trailblazer of Like you could just be you know,
the person that does do that and not have that
expectation put on you or expected of you, because that's
the part that's annoying. It's like the expectation. It's like, no,
I'm just here. I just want to play sir do
and watch the ratchetre unfold. Like that's what I want
to see everybody, the opportunity to see somebody like them
(27:10):
doing just cool ship like it should be. Yeah, like
experiencing things in the games industry, experiencing things and gaming
that is just fun for the sake of being fun.
Every now and then I feel like there's this horrible
pressure for um, obviously, especially black women. It's the one
time that I've seen it more than any other time
(27:31):
to be constantly like at the forefront of leading some
kind of like statement of something or the fight for something.
And it's like, it's fair that y'all are tired, you know.
Like when row Free Wake came up, I saw many
Black women, I think say majority of us be like, yeah,
we're good here. The only comment I made was that, hey, um,
(27:54):
I'm not trying to get suspended on this website, So like,
y'all best be voting, which is what I've been saying
for like the literally the last twelve years of my life. Um.
And if you don't think voting matters, then you're then
you're ignoring the voice of the only thing that you
have as a private, that citizen. If you if you
think that there's another alternative that you would like to do,
then do it. Then go off. But don't don't be
(28:16):
over here telling people to like literally stop the system
that got people out of chattel slavery, Like, don't do that,
you know what I mean? Like, don't my ancestors, my
great grandmother, my grandmother, and my mother have all fought
for the ability for my voice to behold heard at
a local level, to the point that, like I think,
I feel like I shouldn't say this, but I'm going
(28:36):
to say it anyway. When I was sixteen years old,
the high school that I went to was expanding their
districts at a local level. Me being the be, being
the civil minded person that I am that I grew
up to be that my parents have always taught me
to be, went to the school board meeting that they
had in the city council meeting, and I talked about
why our school was a fantastic school that taught a
(28:58):
lot of different people, especially people inside of E. S
l U immigrant children. I talked about how was a
part of the orchestra, how I've been learning several different languages,
how is it inside the IB program, how I was
like uh B plus average student, how I take an
orchestra for at that point, I think fourteen years or so,
because it was offered as out of my public schooling system,
(29:20):
and how it's a fantastic school. I had the suburban
moms who were Caucasian basically come to me to my
face and immediately after me and talk about how my
school was ghetto. How my school had security like detectors
and metal detectors, all these things. How we had shootings
and all these gangs and stuff, just because our school
(29:41):
was more ethnically diverse than other schools inside of our county.
And ultimately the school board and city council listened to
them because they could vote, because they had the ability
to vote people into city council. That's why I'm such
a big advocate for voting, voting at a local level,
especially at local level. If you only vote, vote at
a local level. I went to the y m C
(30:02):
a after school. I was sponsored by the Intel Computer Clubhouse.
We didn't have a computer in my house when I
was growing up. I learned everything that I know about
content today when I was going after school to the
Intel Computer Clubhouse, where I then learned how to make music.
I learned how to create a resume, I learned how
I would do my homework there. I would work on
content creation. I learned Photoshop and Premier. These were things
(30:24):
that would never have been afforded to me that I
actively used today at the age of thirty one. Because
Intel was actively supporting our local y m C at
a local level. Those are things that do not exist
if people do not vote at a local level for
certain places to be around there for people who don't
even and I live in an affluent neighborhood, I was
considered a part of the tent of people that were
(30:46):
lower middle class or upper lower class, that did not
necessarily have enough money to be inside of all these
after school programs. These are things that the local government
provided for me that I was able to get to.
And I don't think enough people understand that or care
about it, especially when it comes to gaming. They don't
understand that gaming is a resource to a lot of
people inside of these neighborhoods that gives them the tools
(31:07):
to get out of these neighborhoods, that gives them the
tool to expand themselves. We are the main demographic that
it could help. And the unfortunate aspect of it is
is that like, we're not the people that it's affecting
because of local laws, because of larger state laws, because
of things that people are not voting at or doing
at a local level. And that all starts with going
(31:27):
out there, registering to vote and being active at your
local level. I was able to tell my local y
m c A Hey, I can get people in with
Logitech and get amazing pressure and and things like that
here so that people can get funded, people can get
scholarships even if they may not necessarily be the best
student because of their creative skills. That is something that
now helps my local community. But like, imagine if that
(31:49):
it never happened because several people generations before me didn't
vote to increase the funding of the communities inside of
my local area. Like that never, I never would be here.
And I think more people need to be aware of
that effect because there are actual children who will never
get to decide where they're born, where they grow up,
(32:10):
and all they'll get is what they have. Then it's
up to us adult, actual adult people over the age
of eighteen, to tell our lobal government, this is what
we want for those children. Just point like period. I
think this is a super awesome conversation and I really
want to continue it, but we have reached a save points,
So we're going to take a super short ad break
and I'm going to pick your brain some more because
(32:31):
I'm enjoying sponging. I feel like I'm absurbing a lot
of information and it's great. So let's take a super
short break and we've back in a second. Welcome back
from our ad um as, We're we're still here with Sharpie,
and you know, we're just having a really great conversation.
(32:51):
It's just really flowing and I absolutely love this. UM.
I want to talk about back about your career. What
are some of the your favorite moments from your career
so far? UM. So, I do want to just reiterate
my full time job is in computer engineering. I work
in I T I'm technically helped us, but they pay
me very well, So I actually don't care about like
(33:12):
my title or anything like if they give me seventy
five grand a year, like, I don't care what you
call me, call me tier one whatever. If I get benefits,
I cool. But inside of my gaming career, I think
the important thing to notice that I have been streaming
for now twelve years. I started back in and one
of the things that I've noticed is um I started
streaming on Twitch. One of the things that I've noticed
(33:35):
is how different the ecosystem has come for people like
me who are just trying to be creative and trying
to create a community, and how unfortunate it is that
because we exist inside of a system where creation is
now seen as commodifiable and not necessarily unique. UM, voices
like myself unfortunately sometimes go unheard. UM. So I've always
(34:00):
tried to create content that speaks to me specifically. So
a lot of my content comes from my music background
because I played violin for I guess going on twenty
two years. I was professionally classically taught UM and I
played for a very long time inside of school. So
now a lot of my content inside of gaming, especially
(34:20):
since I it's almost exclusively live on TikTok. Now most
of my content it revolves around a musical look at
video games and an interesting look on the day to
day of competitive gaming. So I've always thought that TikTok
has become a better resource for creators who are just
looking to grow a community in general. But Twitch is
(34:43):
still a really good resource for people trying to get paid,
Like it's really easy to make money on tip twitch, UM,
at least for me, like I I bring in subs
like crazy. Subs are very easy for me to gain
because I know how to be like entertaining because of
my musical background and because of my performing backgroun own.
But I've noticed that TikTok tends to reward people who
(35:05):
are just consistently posting, which is really easy when you
could post anything on there instead of like having to
have the equipment to go live. So I guess my
content background is. I started on Twitch. I fell out
of love with Twitch because I didn't feel as though
we're they're respecting me as a creator, and they weren't
respecting a lot of people, um that looked like me
(35:26):
as creators. So I left Twitch, went over to TikTok,
and now I just kind of live on TikTok and YouTube. Yeah,
is very interesting prospective Twitch because I was talking to
like a few people and it's just like as far
as like the pay and stuff like that, because I know,
like that's been a trending topic. I mean, I'm mute
streamer Twitter. Like three months ago I had peace on Twitter,
(35:48):
but like I know, before I did that, it was
a lot of it was talking about like the pay discrepancy,
and like I think that's when they something had leaked
and they were saying like, oh, everybody's going to go
to the splint and then like all the top white
creators and I was like um, but um, yeah, that's
very interesting because I haven't like heard that perspective that
(36:09):
despite me being on the Twitch front page a total
of six times this year, um eleven times last year,
and being verified on Twitter and having over three hundred
concurrent viewers, while I was on the front page of
the invited very first Black History Month activation that Twitch had,
(36:31):
I am still not a Twitch partner, so I should
say that first and foremost, and it's not it's not.
In fact, Twitch denied me partnership the day after Black
History Month. Yeah yeah, yeah, I have the email and
I will send a screencap to both of you. But
it's like, literally Women's Months started and they were like,
(36:52):
actually you didn't. Yeah, no, hey, that's why I'm out
of love with Twitch as a platform. That's fair. I
it's not for me. The adverte they were running ads
on my I got affiliate within two days of me
get of me literally getting affiliate. I literally got affiliate
within forty eight hours with me of that of that
(37:13):
program being released publicly. I am somebody that Twitch actively
profited off of during Black History Month. I got an
eight eight hundred and forty dollar payout, and I know
for a fact, Twitch made over two thousand dollars off
of my channel. I know that for a fact. And
so when people ask me why I'm not streaming on Twitch,
(37:35):
why I'm not doing this because they do not respect
me as a creator. They have had multiple times to
respect me as a creator. I am currently applying for
partnership right now because times too. But it's like, why
should I Why should I be over here fighting and
chucking and jiving to get partnership just to get a
little bit more pennies when there are other platforms who
are begging for streamers like me? Who when I inspire
(37:58):
all these other streamers, When I am a technical based
person who learned how to do hardware inside of college,
who went to school for this stuff, who creates an
amazing experience with my high tech software, why should I
be fighting to stay on your platform because you're the
only one here. No, honey, I'm sorry. I don't know
who told you that, but I got a choice, and
as long as I got a choice, I'm not staying here.
(38:18):
So like, that's that's my whole thing about my content
journey is realizing that I have worth that just because
my worth doesn't exist to a certain company it does
to others, And shout out to Logitech for always respecting
my worth even when I moved to other platforms, because
if there's one thing they do is give me a check,
all right, regardless regardless, because they see how I activate
(38:39):
my audience. They know what my activated, they know what
my audience is purchasing, and they know the metrics that
are being used to measure my audience, and they like
those metrics. They don't like the same metrics that like
Ninja uses because Ninja could have the exact same activation
as me and actually get a lower like a lower
click through rate because he's not as he's not as
into he's not to integrate his source material as easily
(39:02):
as I am. And like I think that something people
create is like forget is that I am a creative
and an artist first, right, I am a gamer after
I create for sponsors material and I can do that,
I can create. I wish more people recognize that aspect
of myself. Um, but you know, it's it's what happens
inside of this industry, right, It's capitalism absolutely, and that
(39:25):
we're gonna we're gonna have to have a conversation with
me after that because oh my god, did you psyche?
I didn't know. Do you think it's changing, Do you
think it's getting better? Do you think it's getting I
don't think it will ever get better as long as
Amazon owns it. Amazon cares about one thing, like people
have to understand. And this is no shade in any way,
(39:47):
shape or form to companies. But people have to understand
first and foremost, twhich is a business, twhich is the
number one streaming website on the internet. YouTube doesn't even
beat it for live content. It is the number one
streaming website on the internet, which is the reason why
Amazon purchased it. The ads that everyone's getting now everyone
knew who was moving to that the minute Amazon purchased it.
(40:09):
Twitch cleaned house. This is not news, This is not
brand new. Everybody fighting for stuff now needs to understand
it's been over. Amazon does not care. Amazon doesn't care.
They have already spent money on these acquisitions. They don't
care about retaining people. They already have the platform. Twitch
is already a brand name. If I tell my uncle
about Twitch, he'll know what it is. If I tell
(40:30):
my nephew about Twitch, he'll know what it is. It's
not about getting the brand name out there anymore. Like Mixer,
they bought a product and that product will provide ads
the top like sponsors, large sponsors PlayStation Sony, like Microsoft
will buy ads on Twitch. It doesn't matter who's streaming
there or not. They will buy ads on that platform.
(40:53):
It's bigger than any streamer. I left because my voice
was not valued by a small aspect of that company
that I thought valued my my voice. I left because
competitive gaming like Twitch did not respect my voice. Gaming
partnership Twitch did not respect my voice. So I left.
That's just what it is now. Occasually come back because
I want to. That's my choice. That is completely and
(41:15):
totally my choice. But my main platform will be TikTok
and that's because I feel as though TikTok is working
harder at respecting my voice than Twitch ever did. And
that's just what it is. The hate raids that have
been happening recently that everyone's complaining about, like as of
a year and a half ago. The very first time
I got hate rated in two thousand and fifteen by
(41:37):
four chan, And my whole thing is, if it's still
happening today, do you really think Twitch is dedicated to changing. Like,
call me a fool once, but I ain't Bobo the
fool twice. That's what I'm saying. That's how I feel
about it. And so it's like when people tell me,
can it change? Yeah, it can. Will it change? No?
They have a business model that works. They have their
stock options, they have their equity options. Amazon stock went
(42:00):
up after they acquired Twitch. It will continue to go
up even if Bezos isn't the head, because that is
a company, and companies make profit. They're bigger than any
one person. Yeah, for sure. Like I represent Logitech. You
think if I don't represent Logitech tomorrow, the company is
gonna fail. No, it'll be fine, regardless. It'll be fine regardless.
(42:22):
Companies are not people. People are not companies. And I
think something that we do inside the gaming community is
creating a fallacy where we believe that one is the other,
and that's not true. Stop coming for creators. When you're
when you're mad at a company, right, I got mad
at the company. And that's why I had to be
quiet about being mad at the company. Is because when
(42:45):
you mad at a company and you're somebody like me,
it becomes an issue. You know what I'm saying like
it becomes a problem. And honestly, I wouldn't have shared
that story if Twitch had just bought my silence, my
partnering me. It was very simple. It was very simple.
Do you feel like there's this really weird like obsession
with I certainly see it in like twitch chat. I
see it on Twitter all the time, where people for
(43:06):
some reasons seem to like put companies on a pedestal
and treat them like they give a ship about you.
Like I'm sorry, but that like a lot of the time,
And obviously there are definitely exceptions to that that rule to
an extent, But like a company is going to prioritize profit,
that's just the way it is. And by giving them
like you're kind of like anthropomorphizing them and giving them
(43:27):
human qualities when they're a collection of people and the
people at the top are geared towards money. That's just
the way it is. And I don't I don't mind
it as much as I used to when I was younger,
because I'm old enough to understand that companies are just uh.
Companies are just a byproduct of the societal norms that
(43:49):
we live in inside of Western culture today, which is
of course capitalism, right. And I feel bad because every
single conversation I have is like an UNO reverse card,
where it's like, what is if you're gonna bring up capitalism,
you know, like what a shark? Are you gonna do that?
And the realities of it is is not that capitalism
is bad. It's really just that, like I think people
(44:10):
forget that capitalism is a relationship between people and companies, right.
It's supply and demand, and when you remove people's opportunity
to interact with it, then it becomes a much more
disgusting version of capitalism, you know. So I would say
that it's not even like this version of capitalism we're
currently and a lot of people say late stage capitalism
(44:30):
all the time. I like to say it's it's a
byproduct of us not using our voices and being very
content with what we're getting instead of understanding what we're
giving up in the process. As someone that understands my
history and someone that understands the possibilities of where we
can go, it's really difficult for me to feel comfortable
always giving up my voice, even if it means that
(44:51):
things maybe a little bit harder for me in the
short run. But I can't do that anymore because I'm
old and I'm tired. I gotta protect my piece. So
it's like, it's just that's what I was doing throughout
my twenties, was fighting for that change. When I realized
a lot of people in my age group, especially inside
of gaming, weren't as concerned about doing that, and seeing
them get opportunities regardless, and seeing them stop fighting the
man because they didn't really care about the man until
(45:13):
it personally affected them, I was like, you know what,
the system, The system is really crazy because it it uh,
it promotes apathy. Yes, it promotes apathy, and it rewards.
It rewards people for being complacent. And ultimately that's why
(45:33):
I'm comfortable with the company like Logitech, which encourages me
to be as loud as I want about topics that
really ultimately matter to me and towards moving towards a
more equitable future, which is what I feel like Logitech
is doing. That's great that I promise we should say
like this this podcast is not sponsored by logs, just
just that happens every episode Because I always read up
(45:57):
Logitech as an example for something. It was just like
it's a good example, like microphone set, Logitech Aurora shirt bro. Look,
look I am paid for Okay, I'm just I'm saying that, like,
(46:17):
there are very few companies who will take a chance
on somebody like me, and Seeing and Tell like unofficially
sponsored me from a young age just by providing for
me at the y m c A. Seeing Logitech do
it for me now so I can continue to be
a voice for emerging voices, especially black film voices, inside
of the gaming community, inside the competitive gaming community. That
makes me happy, and I feel like that's we're shouting out.
(46:38):
So um, Ultimately, I do feel as that you should
be supporting, obviously sponsors that allow for a fantastic film
based podcast like this to occur and to have people
like me on. But I would be I would be
lying if I didn't say to grab yourself a Logitech Bria,
which is a webcam that I'm using right now, I'd
be lying. I I'm very conscious that we're going to
(47:01):
run out of time very soon, so I would really
love to ask Sharpie, do you have any upcoming projects
that you'd like to shout out or things that you're
gonna be working on that you'd like to share and
can share, I do and I can. I can officially
announce that I am exclusively a MultiVersus content creator moving forward,
meaning that I am directly working with Warner brother Games
as well as Player First Games in order to help
(47:23):
market the game. So I'm incredibly excited about that. You
can follow me on TikTok dot com, slash at sign
d a Purple Sharpie. I am also on YouTube, and
more importantly, I am on Instagram the Purple sharp on
literally all platforms and if you enjoyed my voice, I
do also have a podcast that I do with trans
Firm by the name of Jehosi from the fighting game community,
(47:43):
where we talk about trending topics inside the fighting and
community and the gaming community in general, called FTC cast
wherever you get your local podcasts, specifically on Spotify. So
I really hope people will support us as we try
to support others and amplify their voices inside of the
specifically traditional fighting game community. Awesome, thank you so much
for taking the time to talk to both of us.
(48:04):
It's been really great talking to you and I'm just
sad we don't have more time because this conversation was amazing.
I like a real pleasure. Oh my god, I'm really sorry.
I'm really sorry. I wish I had literally infinite amount
of time to talk to you about. Totally understand, you've
got stuff to do. Totally understand. Um and Confetti, Where
can people find you? I am Milady Compettio on all platforms, Um.
(48:24):
I don't have anything really special to announce, but yes,
you can follow me on all of my platforms at
Malady Competti sweet and I am Psyche. I'm Psyche on
Twitch and Psyche plays on Twitter and pretty much all
social media except for TikTok is. My name was taken
and I was not smart about branding at all, um,
and I am. The only thing I have to show
is that I'm doing a very local talk on mental
health in gaming next Thursday with the local charity organization
(48:47):
that focuses on mental health and other kinds of health
within gaming and gambling. UM. So I will be doing
that in stay tuned on social media. If I can
find a link for it, I will share it. Um.
But yeah, that was pretty much it from all of us.
Thank you so much again, Sharpe for taking the time
to talk to us. UM. Your side quest this week
everyone is to catch us on social media at the
Boss Level Pod that is Boss l v L Pod,
(49:09):
and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel for
video episodes as well. You can find all the input
for that on our social media. Thank you so much
everyone for the support so far. We will see you
in the next episode. Bye bye
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