Episode 25 - feat. Emzii

Happy Thursday! This week Psyche and Jess are joined by CEC gold medalist Emzii! The group discusses inclusion in the esports community and ways to empower female content creators. Great discussions ahead - enjoy! 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, dass, how are you today? I'm good. Are you doing, Psyche?
I'm good. I actually, do you know what. I was
actually sick today, so I'm maybe not good, but I'm
doing a lot better because I had a really good
nap and I feel like it's get older. I appreciate
those more now that you mentioned. I think I did
see you tweeting about like canceling your stream, but I'm
glad that you're, you know, still like able to record.

(00:23):
I was very excited for today, actually, but I yeah,
I canceled my stream today, which I hate doing, especially
because I've just started a new game, so I'm like
really really into it. But I didn't get to sleep
till four o'clock in the morning, which is very late,
and my cat woke me up at seven because time.
That's great. Um, but yeah, I suppose we should introduce

(00:45):
the podcast today. Um Hi, everybody, Welcome back to Boss Level.
This is a podcast where we feature conversations with guests
who have leveled up bringing an XP boost to the table.
This week, you're here with me, Psyche and my lovely
co host Jess bro Heart. Hello. We're very excited to
be joined by actually a very long term friend of mine.
UM I have known our guest today for I think

(01:06):
we worked out it was about fifteen years. On today's episode,
we are joined by Emma Rose. Emma, also known as
m Z, recently won a gold medal in the inaugural
Commonwealth E Sports Championships, where she represented Northern Ireland in
women's e football. Since bringing home the gold, Emma has
also been championing mental health, inclusion and diversity in e sports. Hi, Emma,

(01:27):
thank you so much for joining us today. Hi, thanks
for having me. How are you doing today? I'm pretty good.
I just flew home this afternoon. How do we nap?
That's good? That's your great right now? I'm sure like
top level afternoon. They really are. So where were you
this weekend? I was at in Somnay and Birmingham. UM.

(01:49):
I was over doing a talk on career in E
sports on the expo stage and the importance of diversity
and inclusion in the sports. That's awesome, harder to go amazing,
it was. It was like I didn't want to leave,
but I was so tired I had to leave. Isn't
that just events? Though? In general I feel like conventions

(02:09):
are really exhausting they're exciting, but they're really really tiring,
and then you know you have like the post convention
depression of like, oh, I miss seeing everyone every time.
I feel like I've been having this like kind of
weird fomo because games Com was also last week in
Cologne and Germany, and I used to work games Calm.
When I worked at Riot Games, I was like one

(02:31):
of the booth staff and stuff, and I kind of
miss it. But I remember whenever I was there, unbelievably
tiring it is, and how hot it is in convention holes,
how busy it is all the time. Wild. Um, So
let's get into characters lecton not a little bit more
about you, Emma. Could you give us a little bit
of an introduction and tell us more about you and
what you do. Yeah, I am a guess, a part

(02:55):
time a sports player because I have a day job,
which sucks. Um, but I basically have been thrown into
the deep end of the sports and I'm doing my
damned this to raise awareness for female identifying gamers and
trying to level the playing field two men and women

(03:15):
and really just cause chaos in the scene and see
what mischief I can get up to. It seems like
a pretty great goal. I guess a little bit of mischief,
a little bit of chaos is always good. So you
participated in it was the first Commonwealth e Sports Championships,
right and you were doing the football and you were right,
not only participated, it's true. Are you wearing your and

(03:40):
my custom dog tag that I got from insomnia? M Um? Yeah,
so it was the first time ever. The what the
definition I guess of inaugural means that they did esports
with the Commonwealth. Um, a sort of a trial to
see if it would be a good fit. Running forward
in four years time in Australia and yeah, I started

(04:04):
playing the football after a random message on Instagram and
all of a sudden by myself in Birmingham and then
found myself winning the gold medal. That's very very cool.
Yeah it is. What's your favorite game to play in
your off time? Um? I mean I should say football,
but I literally haven't plugged by PlayStation in since I've

(04:25):
got I'm like getting really into vourent again. Um, you
know I like to shoot people very out of context.
That doesn't sound great, but asked me on stream every
time as well, because like I keep finding there was
one time I was playing Elite and they've recently added

(04:48):
like on foot combat and stuff that used to be
just in space, and um, I was running all these
missions in space and I was like, oh, I feel
like doing like on foot stuff. And then I went
I just really like murdering people. And I was like,
oh my god, I'm meaning game and I specifically mean
in this game. And I realized that time. Really, but
I just I feel like I don't have a filter

(05:09):
when I'm streaming. So it's really tricky. There's well, there's
so much in gaming that lends itself to like like
if you're playing g T A and you're like, all right,
let's go beat up that prostitute, you know, like what
you know? That's how terrible that for For for legal reasons,
this is referencing of me. Now that I've said this

(05:31):
on the podcast, someone can take that out of context.
You're gonna get clipped and put all over the internet.
That's how the internet works. We've all just been canceled
bloody video games. I've already got um. So, since you
just mentioned g T A Jazz, I know I am A.
You also stream and you very recently were quite into

(05:54):
g T A role players that right, Yes, it's like, ah,
I just I've I almost lived in Los Angeles more
than I lived in the real world. It's so addictive,
but in the best possible way, like the storylines you
can come up with, and if you get into a
good storyline with someone who's amazing at RP, you just

(06:15):
look forward to coming on and seeing what like absolutely
ridiculous things you can get up to. Like I was
playing on James Buckley from The in between Ers today
he ran his own community UM server. It's nice since
changed um but like just the characters you would find
and that say, g TRP is so fun but so addictive.

(06:37):
It's kind of like World of Warcraft, where like you
don't realize but all of a sudden you started playing
at like four and now it's like midnight. Yeah, it's
like how does this happen? That's always good though, I
feel like it's really fun. So sorry, I didn't mean
to interrupting. I'm gonna ask how did you get into
g t A RP, because you know, I it's not
something I've ever done. I've played some of the g
t A titles, like very casually, and then all of

(06:58):
a sudden, I saw how all this g t A
r P stuff like exploded, and it's fascinating because it's
really fun to watch. But how did you get into it? Yeah,
so I tried it years ago because obviously T t
A is like a really old game. No, not quite
as well as a kind of strike, but old enough. Um. So,
like I remember trying it and I was like, I
just don't understand what I'm doing, Like I don't understand
what's going on. And then yeah, I just found it

(07:19):
on stream again like a lot of the people I
would follow on YouTube and then pitch for playing it,
and I was like, I want to give that a
go and just just dove in. And that's why I
just absolutely stole me away from every other game for
the longest amount of time. Jess, did you ever do
role play? I feel like we've had this conversation before.

(07:40):
Only the smallest amount I've done, like a very small
amount of like Class of D and D and then
I've done a few other like kind of one sheet
you know, tabletop repugs, Like there's one called a honey Hoist,
which takes like thirty minutes, and it's like, really, you're
like bears trying to steal honey. It's very very fun.
So I'm just I'm like a very small amount. It's
not one of my kind of specialties. Yeah, I'll find

(08:02):
honey heist to those because I think it's like a
free one cheeter that you know, they published online somewhere,
so it's really cool, you know. I find a really
weird one on TikTok. I find so many weird things
on TikTok. I feel like there's just like so many
odd things that I've like favorite it that I'll probably
never go back to you. But there was this one
thing I remember seeing that was like a one player
role play, which sounds really really weird, but um it's like, um,

(08:25):
I think it was like a vampire like journal keeping
kind of choose your own adventure style role play, and
it looked really cool and I was like, this is
the kind of like I would love this. It's like
a thing and it's supposed to be like a long
term thing. I can't remember what it's called. If I
can find it, I'll let youse know. But um, one
of those kind of things where you can play a
little bit every day and then come back to it,
and that's something that I used to do when I

(08:45):
was really young. I again, this is a game that
I played. I cannot, for the life of me remember
the name of. But it was like a dating same
type game. And I was only like a really young teenager,
but my friend introduced me to this thing where you
would play a little bit and you would go through
like an episode, and then you finish the episode and
you get an email from the person that you were
dating in the game to initiate the next episode. And

(09:07):
it was so cool and so ahead of its time.
I have no idea what it was called. That's so
cool because it like takes that one element of going
outside of game and like emailing you and Steff, like,
I don't know, I I love that because that would
probably make you really feel like, oh, this person is
actually emailing even through a cartoon like. But it was
really cool because it was like this weird interactive thing,

(09:29):
which I think we're kind of getting back into no
I with gaming, there's like a more kind of interactive
how to like engage people outside of the game, if
you know what I mean. Oh, yeah, totally, which like
there have been I feel like, didn't we talk about
this on a carem who Elso was we this came
up on a different episode. Oh no, I'm sorry I
got confused. I was talking about it with some other friends.

(09:50):
But like they're the one of the medically solid games.
Psychomantis would like you have to, I think plug your
controller into the player to slot. And then was also
a game called Eternal Darkness that had a sanity meter
and for instance, if your sanity meter in game got
too low, it would do things like shut off your
Like I think it was on GameCube and don't remember

(10:11):
what other consoles, it would actually shut off your console
or it like things like that. So it kind of
you know, those were a couple of games that kind
of a little bit sort of played with the boundaries
of like what's in game, what's you know, out of game?
But I would love to see more of that. I
think that's like that kind of is maybe the direction
we're heading. Yeah, I mean, like, remember, um, the Alien

(10:31):
Isolation game. Wasn't there like a thing where if you're
playing on PlayStation, the microphone and the controller could hear you.
So if you got scared or something, it could hear
you scream. Wow, it's scary. Although I'm gonna be honest,
I feel like I was really disappointed with it. I
enjoyed the like journey really okay, so look, you know what,

(10:55):
I'm not going to spoil it, but I played it,
and I enjoyed the journey towards the end, and then
I was really just point over the end. I just
felt I feel like that happens a lot with games. Though, Yeah,
they can be but though I know from being friends
with Emma for quite a long time that Emma tends
to play mostly multiplayer games rather than single player games.
So scary games are scary. You know, I can't play them.
Remember the last time Daylight? Or I like hitting the

(11:21):
van the entire time games, I love them. But yeah,
I know you're sick, You're twisted. That's why I love
you for it. So I think I'd like to bring
this round to I guess the title of the podcast.
We like to ask guests when their boss level is

(11:41):
and what it is that makes them a boss. So
what do you think is it makes your boss? What
does being boss level mean to you? You could have
prepared me for that one, nobody. Yeah, I know, right,
get an honest answer. Um, I think like, if anything,
my journey free life is what's made me a boss
because I was You knew me when I was younger

(12:01):
and and not the little flower we see today. I
was a very depressed little boy. And I just think
the experiences have gained, like coming out and going through
life and with battle and depression and stuff. I think
that's really like where I have not exceeded because I
have all that experience behind me that I can push
through anything that comes forward life can try and throw

(12:24):
at me. Now, yeah, you you made a really powerful
statement whenever you won your gold medal about oppression and
how you can push through it and achieve the things
that you want to achieve. And I cried and I
saw your speed. Um is there? How do you feel
your mental health has been affected by gaming? And how gaming?

(12:48):
Like how is it? What kind of impact has it
had on your life? As it's honestly save my life,
Like I mean, obviously we've been playing games three years
together and like that's my escape is like jumping into
a game with a friend. So if like life was
getting too hard, I would, you know, come down to
GW and me and T you would play tree Tag
and like just just that escape and that mental reset

(13:11):
and that mental break from the outside world let you
then go again the next day. And honestly, I think
without game and I would be such an aggressive little
person and potentially not even here. It's like without the
friendships I've made through gaming and the mental health side
of things, where I was able to leave my kind

(13:32):
of toxic outside world life and be in the game
world with people here like minded and you know, just
focusing on the same thing. Um, I think without that,
I definitely wouldn't be the same person I am now.
And going back to that, like, you know how you
talked about video games as an escape. Do you think
that's part of maybe what draws you toward like RPGs

(13:53):
and you know, like g t A role playing and stuff,
because it kind of lets you sort of get into
different world entire Yeah, for sure. Like I mean, before
I came out, I would have always played female characters,
which might have been a sign, but like, you just
get to be a completely different person online, like nobody
knows you and nobody judges you. Um, I came from
a small town where everybody knows you and everybody judges you.

(14:14):
So like being able to escape into you know, like
world a war craft where you had thousands of players
and one server. Um, nobody knew who you were other
than if you were like a terrible tank, or you're
terrible here, or if you're really good at something. That's
the only reputation you ever got. You never like they
really knew your personal life. And that's what was great
about it, because then just let you express who you

(14:35):
are without having to worry about oh what such and
such down the road. And I think about this, and
it gives you that freedom to be who you want
to be. But it's also a negative thing because the
same freedom is what inspires people to be toxic and
hide behind keyboards and leave angry messages and and leave
hate messages. And it's a two sided sword. But the

(14:55):
positives definitely outweighed the bad. You had talked a lot of,
how ever, since winning the gold medal, or even ever
since participating in UM the Championships, that you had received
a lot of negative comments and stuff online, but that
it had motivated you to start basically championing for inclusion
and diversity. Um, what was that like? What was it

(15:16):
like trying to manage that kind of Uh, the I
guess the media attention that you were receiving. So it's
it was a weird one because the media attention, it
wasn't getting the one what I wanted, like I was
getting like it was all from like England and like Italy.
There was nothing from home, which really annoyed me. And
then whenever I finally did get media from home, it

(15:39):
was just full of like I think there was thirty
seven comments on one of them and only one of
them was positive. But like, I don't know, you know,
you know me, I'm kind of like I'm I'm pretty
thick skinned. Nothing really gets to me anymore because like
my past experiences where I have been as low as
I've got to that it doesn't really like affect me
too much anymore, but certainly I can feel how stuff

(16:00):
being said to me could affect someone else, and it's like, well,
I don't want that. I don't want someone else to
have to go through that. So that's what really sort
of inspired me to be like, well, I'm going to
use your negative energy. You know, you're wasting your time
making these fake accounts and using your energy to leave
comments on probably one of the best things I've ever
done in my life. So I'm going to use that
energy into something positive and just keep making content and

(16:22):
keep putting myself out there and keep trying to show
that you know, if if I'm here doing what I'm doing,
then you can do it too. And like that's the
whole point of game and is it's for everyone. And
I feel like I said that free. It's not like
a hundred times, but it's it's been so true every
time I've said it. You know, it's that the hate
and the in the media press is just like, like,

(16:46):
how what else have you got to do with your life?
If that's that's what you're doing. You know, like if
you watch a YouTube video and you'd see something you
don't like, the first thing I would do is turn
it over and fix something else. Like I don't understand
what goes three people's head where they're like, oh God
in a type in here and you're like, well, like
that's just like so much effort and energy, and I
don't know how they have time for it. Like I

(17:08):
don't understand how like do they feel good after they
I don't think they would. They probably sit there. It's
I mean, they're doing it because they're you know, there's
something going on their lives that they need to address.
Usually and instead of kind of taking the time or
the energy to fix that whatever it might be, they

(17:30):
see maybe someone who's different from them who they see
as like an easy target. And you know, especially if
they see someone who's different from them who is kind
of happy and like the happily living differently than it
sort of turns it back on themselves and like, oh, well,
you know, why am I not happy? Like I you know,

(17:50):
I got kind of rambly, but you understand my point there,
you know, more back then than it does about you.
M yeah, exactly. And it's I don't know if it's
like that jealous see things like oh what how come
they're making content and they're happy and they're getting us
and I come there in the sports and I'm not.
And I think that's maybe part of it. But like
you don't like the current those people with that kind

(18:11):
of attitude, we're never going to have a place in
any sort of like business or like team like you
can't if you're going to have a toxic attitude, you're
never going to properly fit in with people. And the
sooner they realize that, and the sooner we keep shining
lights on these kind of negative comments. The sooner it
will stop happening, and the sooner we can all just friends.
I love each other. So we were talking a little

(18:35):
bit about kind of like your journey with the sports
and how you mentioned earlier that you got started because
of an Instagram post, So if you sort of tell
us what really happened around there, Yeah, it's quite a
funny one, to be fair. So I'm in a band
and one of my best friends is called Michael Smith. Um,
so I got this post sent to me that was

(18:56):
just store that sort of nugget of information for now.
So I got a text sent to me on Instagram
and being like, hey, I've seen this post looking for
female gamers in Northern Ireland and I was like, well,
I take those boxes. Yes I'm trans, but I'm still female.
I'm still a woman. They still I didn'tify his female.
So I was like, I'll apply for it, but a
being Northern Ireland, my opening lines were, hey, I'm a
transgender woman. Is it okay if I apply for this?

(19:19):
And they're like yes, of course, and that's like sweet
happy days, I mean signed in this sweet form and
Instagram and then the games were like it didn't say
what it was for. It didn't say it was for
the Commonwealth. It didn't say it was for like a
Sports Northern Ireland or anything. It just said are you
a female gamer? How old are you? What games do
you play? And gave me the option of dot to
Rocket League and the football. So I was like, sweet,

(19:39):
I don't play any of these games anymore too much,
but I guess Rocket League if I had to choose
one of the three, because I thought I was okay
Rocket League, turns out I'm not. I'm so sorry for laughing. No,
I just tickled by the fact that you like, you're like, oh,
I'm okay rock Legs. That's want'll enter. And then the
one you win is like a death completely different game games, right,

(20:02):
that's the fubby, that's it's it's so mad, that's this
is all game together. But I applied for a Rocky
League and I got this message back saying, do you
have a team because Rockey League three v three and
we need two other females to play Rockey League if
you want to in a Rocket League, And I was like, no,
I don't, I don't know. I don't know anyone who
wants to play Rocket League. Um, I don't even know
what this is for, like I would know where to

(20:23):
what to do with this. They're like, okay, do you
want to do? You know what I fotball is? You
want to play the fotball And I was like, okay,
that's obviously something like Faiva. It's like just with a
weird name. It turns out pro Evo, which is the
paper's rival, had renamed that year to e Fittball and
made their game free to play. And I was like, okay, well,
I know what proivy is. I know football is. I
watched football every weekend, a big football fan and always helping.

(20:43):
I was like, sweet, I'll give it a go. Like
I've played the game every year. Well, I'll played favor
every year. And I know the basics of like football
game for football games. You know, it's not like you're
learning a whole new skill. You know, yeah, kick the
ball in the next floor goes um. It's a lot
more complex than that, to be fair, once you'd have
into it, but the general core of it is it's

(21:06):
a football game. So I was like, sure, I will
play the football. That was fine. I signed up for it,
and they're like, right, we'll get back to you if
we're interested. And then I got a message from Michael
Smith and I was like, mhm am I being trolled
by my best friend. I was like, are you are
you putting all this energy into like trying to ruin

(21:26):
my gaming career so that I only focus on the band?
Or is there someone else also called Michael Smith um?
And I messaged him and said this to him, and
he was like, I appreciate that you think I'd do that,
because I totally would, but sadly I don't have the
time or energy to do that to you. And I
was like, okay, So who the Hexist guy? Then? So
I looked him up on Facebook and it turns out
it's someone that we actually both know, Cursty from Game

(21:48):
the World core in Oh really yeah? Do you remember
like a little ginger kid called well Michael Smith. I
can't remember what it was. He one of those small worlds.
He is a manager of E Sports A and I
and he was like, do you want to come to
Birmingham and play football for Northern Ireland? I was like yes, obviously,

(22:08):
what is this? And I still didn't realize it was
him until I met him in person. I didn't like to,
like a couple of weeks past and I hadn't really
heard anything back, and then he was like, do you
want to come down to Belfast Met and we'll take
some headshots and do some promote stuff for like this
hym And I was like, I still I think this
is a true I'm still not sure on this, but okay,
I'll go down to Belfast Met. It seems safe enough.

(22:29):
Blocked in the door and there he was, Michael Smith,
the other one standing there, and I was like, the
other one, now my life is round by two. Michael
Smith's unrail. So yeah, we went down, did the photo shoots,
did the press stuff, and he introduced me to a
coach and that's when I started taking the football seriously,
like with a month and a half ago to certainly

(22:51):
wow and then you only went in one amazing. So
for anyone who's listening, um I feel I should tell
you what Game in the World is. So Game of
the World is where Emma and I met. It was
a land gaming center in Northern Ireland and later around
the UK and Ireland, and um I was a person
who went to and played games in it and then

(23:13):
eventually worked in it. Um in my hometown, and then
I met Emma because my partner was very far away
on the other side of Northern Ireland and working in
the other one, so I happened to meet Emma there
and a lot of us literally just spent our entire
days playing games and hanging out together. And I really
miss it. And it's actually why I started streaming, because um,

(23:33):
I moved to Dublin to work in the games industry
and I was so lonely and so far away from
everybody I knew, and I really missed the banter of
kind of like hanging around with people talking about games
that you really really loved, and just like having that
kind of connection with people. So I thought streaming. A
few years into living in Dublin, I thought stream would
be a really really great way to get that. And
it was so small world. That's really weird. Ye, yep

(23:58):
it is. But thankfully you've being a Dublin we still
got to come down to visit you every night, and then,
not as much as I would have liked because I
couldn't drive, but yeah, we still made it happen. Yeah.
Does that land center still exist? No? Yeah, it's one
of those kind of relics of the past. Yeah, they
tried to do something recently. Actually, christ and Ross had
me to a discord where they were trying to make

(24:20):
like an online land center and I was like, just
makes no sense. Yeah, they had always trying to create
like because Northern Ireland. I don't mean to say this
in a negative way, but it is going to come
across negative and I think Emma will know exactly what
I mean. Northern Ireland is very behind in the times
in a lot of ways. Most ways, it's the same
I guess, the same reason that you were talking about,

(24:41):
like saying, oh, I'm a trans woman, is it okay
for me to apply? Because Northern Ireland. It's they're not
exactly the most friendly for like lgbt QUI plus issues um,
but also their technologically behind a lot of ways. And
the land Gaming Center was so cool and they always
had these really cool ideas for like you know, tournament
platforms kind of do like national tournaments and stuff. We

(25:02):
all participated in different tournaments for different games. For me,
it was quite three. I have a quick three tattoo.
Emma played a lot of different FPS games there along
with a lot of other people. But they tried to
do this weird thing where they wanted to have like
an online therefore not a land center anymore, but like
an online gaming center kind of thing, and it never
really went anywhere, unfortunately. I don't know if they closed

(25:24):
the discord or I left it, but I don't have
it anymore, so I don't know. So I guess that
idea kind of piled it. Right, Um, did you always
aspire to get into E sports or was it just
kind of like a bad thing that happened. I think
i'd kind of give up at this point. Like I
think if you had to have asked me when we
were younger and in the land centers, for sure, Like
you know, I entered all the Cord comps, and I

(25:46):
entered all the c S comps and the leagues and
stuff we did, and I think had maybe that came
a bit later, you know, if if we had have
all been born five six years later, where the sports
has really taken off, I think for sure I would
have pushed it as as far as I could. Well,
like I've always you know, I've always played games, and

(26:07):
you said earlier, like I I don't really play single
player games. I only play multiplayer games, and not because
I don't like single player games, because I just prefer
like the adrenaline of playing against someone and like they're
like being able to test myself and improve and learn
um as opposed to like, you know, this is a beautiful,
scenic game and with like the most amazing storytelling and

(26:28):
that's what that's what you do. And that's why I
watch you because then I don't have to play because
I can just watch you do. But like I've I've
always been a competitive gamer and I think whenever Like
that's why I got in instantly accepted efittball because I
was like, I'm still a competitor. I've still never really
tested myself at a high level um for e sports

(26:50):
just lucally um, and I was like this could be
my intro and turns out it was, and here we are,
I have a gold medal. So I'm definitely gonna try
and push it more. I don't know how much football play,
but well we'll see. Yeah, I would say that was
going to be my next question is you know, kind
of where do you go from here or like how
has this kind of reshaped because it sounds it almost

(27:11):
sounds like this is something you were like, it's a
great thing that happened, but you weren't necessarily like actively
trying and planning. It was almost like chance that kind
of lad you on this journey. So now I imagine
this kind of changes things for you. And what are
your hopes and goals now besides you know, championing for diversity,
equity and inclusion. Yeah, um so actually have a job offer,

(27:32):
I believe. I'm just waiting for it to come through
where I get to do that full time. Awesome. Yeah,
it's like I'm still a bit shocked that all this
has happened. I still haven't really came down to earth
since like the event, But I think, like I would
love to compete again. I'm not I definitely want to
keep competing as long as I can. Um also, getting
my ass kick by sixteen year old kids is hard

(27:55):
to hard to take to say at least, but no,
like I think I wouldn't mind trying to get myself
like a valiant team and get my get back in
the FBS, because it's kind of like cs GO, Like
I was Balent was described to me as gay cs
GO and I was like, well that's right up my streets.
I was like I'm in, let's play this. It's like
that's amazing. That's the best description I've ever heard for
any game ever. But yeah, it's all just kind of

(28:17):
like sneaked up on me. Like I've been working in
my day job and for like six at least seven
years now, I like just got a new role. I
just moved apartments, and like I was working up this
new sort of new skills and stuff in my job,
and then all of a sudden, I'm being flown across
the world. Well not the world because it's the UK yet,

(28:38):
but like I've just been flown by it, and all
these opportunities are just flying at me, and I think
I would be an idiot not to try and push
it as far as I can now while I have
the opportunity, because it's like gaming has always been my
biggest passion in life, you know, gaming, their music, and
then sports. If I was given the opportunity to do
any of those three things full time, I was like,

(28:59):
I would obviously to push it as hard as I can,
and I always have my current skills to fall back
on if I m don't make it as far as
I want, as far as I need to that's a
great way to look at it. Yeah, I was just
gonna say, it's so something that definitely stands, Like I
think for people who do any of this kind of

(29:19):
I don't want to use the term new media because
I think that actually means something. But like all of
the new stuff that's been coming out in the last
couple of years, like streaming content, creation, esports, all of
that stuff, that's it's getting to a point now where,
like you said, if if we had all been born
like five or six years later, I feel like I
feel like I'm I'm old. For a person who streams
full time. It feels kind of weird because like most

(29:41):
of the people who are getting into it are like eighteen,
and I'm like, God, I wish when I was eighteen
this was the thing, because it sure wasn't wasn't, but
we still put just as much time into playing. Absolutely
it just weren't creating content in the same way to
make money off of it yet exactly like bastards can we.
I don't remember who it was, but we had an
episode recently we were talking about how it might have

(30:02):
been shady. We were talking about how, like YouTube back
whenever it first became a thing because like obviously, justin
TV before it was twitched, um wasn't really the same
and YouTube, you could create content on YouTube, but making
money on YouTube was not really the same kind of thing.
Like the whole landscape is completely different. Because remember back
in the day when YouTube didn't have its own monetization

(30:24):
and they were all these third party networks they were
called like mc ns, right, and like that was the
only way to get quote unquote partnered and like monetize
your content on YouTube, and like, which is kind of
it's almost it almost feels like such a huge oversight
now that like, wow, it took them took YouTube how
long to like build in monetization features, but like at
least they did. I guess. Yeah, it's just so weird

(30:44):
because I feel like we're at the like kind of
the beginning of a sort of digital renaissance of like
really cool content creation and like e sports and tournaments
and actually people taking gaming seriously as like not only
a hobby but also as a job potentially in different
in different ways, and I think a career path, yeah exactly,
And it's going to be something that in like five

(31:05):
years or whatever is going to be just so much
bigger and I'm really really excited. Yeah, that's why I'm like,
that's like I want to stay involved in it as
much as I can, because the UK is literally like
a volume point as a minute to everyone who's ending sports,
and then the game in the world kind of feels
like our own secret club because we know what it
is and we know the potentially can have and how
big it is around the world. But without that mainstream effect,

(31:28):
it's it's hard to like explain to like just your
your non gamer friends or people who are like super
casual gamers, and it's hard to sort of like look
at that. But at the same time, you can also
not study esports and college and unice, which is another
thing I'm working with UM because the Northern Island teams
ran out of Belfast met by the Sports lecture UM,

(31:51):
and the Welsh teams ran out of a union. I
believe as well, the like in the UK, it's going
to blow up, like their minted students, young people going
to UNI and going to college and studying the sports
is it's going to change the entire landscape of the world.
Like the easiest way I describe it is like if
you look at the business game of Throne spot to like,

(32:11):
say Northern Ireland, a massive E sports event would do
the same because it's basically like a big TV show.
It's not just idiots like us playing games. And I
use that more for me than you guys, because I'm silly, Like,
it's not just a void sitting playing games. It's everything
else that goes on behind at the production levels, the
stage creations, the lights, the sounds, the the management, the coaching,

(32:34):
the like, actually like programming stuff like it's it's endless opportunities. Really,
there's it's gonna go. It's gonna be huge. On that note,
let's take a super short ad break and then we'll
continue picking Emma's brain back the sack. All right, welcome

(32:55):
on back to a boss level where sitting here with
Emma a k A. M Zee and chatting about all
kinds of things. Let's talk a little bit about if
you're willing to are there any failures you've had that
you've overcome, or like mistakes you've made that you're willing
to talk about, and you know it hopes that that
we can learn and not make those same mistakes. Um, yeah,

(33:18):
I mean I'm an open book. I just kicked us
still across the floor. I'm an open book. So like,
there's nothing that I'm afraid to talk about. There's nothing
that I'm like ever going to shy away from, because
I always feel like, what's the point of putting yourself
through something if you can't then use that to either
better yourself or help help inspire someone else. So like,
I mean, obviously the biggest mistake was trying to be

(33:40):
a boy for thirty years. That was that was a
fun mistake to have. I don't know, Like yeah, maybe
like not keeping up like I got started and stopped
streaming like fifty times. I've started to stop eatubes like
fifty times. If I had I just kept going from
the first one, maybe I'll be able to do something
with the more than of um stopping playing a game

(34:01):
like counter Strike, Like I love counter Strike. Um, I've
played counter Strike all my life, but I stopped playing
it because of how toxic it is. Obviously that's me
just not being able to handle how toxic people can
be towards me when I first came out and stuff
because it was really bad. Um, But like that would
be a mistake I would feel on my heart because

(34:21):
my heart my behalf my heart, because I feel like
I have then let them win because they have forced
me out of the game I love. So like for sure,
if I could go back, I would definitely not have
stopped playing kind of strike. And maybe I've got addicted
to GT role playing it as much as I it. Well,
one thing I will say about like they're like stopping

(34:43):
and starting streaming or like stopping and starting YouTube. Like
each time you start over, it's not that you're starting over.
You know, you're starting with all this experience that you
had before, So you know what, I like, I would
almost argue that it maybe could have been more beneficial
to take those breaks just because like for my my
cellmone content and everything. You know, I've had, like over
my ten years that I've been like creating content and everything,

(35:06):
I've had so many times where I've like stopped and
started and stopped and started, and I'll go on hiatus
for six months and I'll come back for three months,
and you know, and but each time it's almost kind
of a different like iteration because it's it feels silly
to do something that's just not working, because it just
feels like it's just a waste of time. It puts
me in in such a negative mood. Um, you know,
And every time I come back from a little like hiatus,

(35:27):
I'm refreshed and I'm invigorated again, and you know, I
feel as though I'm kind of back on the right track.
Like do you ever feel that way? Yeah, Well, every
time I came back, it's been for something completely news.
So like one of the times I did it, I
was doing a Smash Bros. Play through on the Switch
and I was doing the storyline, and as we've said,
I don't play secular player games, but I was forcing

(35:48):
myself to play a single player game to make short
content for it. Before that would have been just like
clips of like cs GO and pub G and stuff
like that. And then the next time I came back,
I was like trying to do like a weight loss
journey where I made a weight loss vlog and we're
trying to do that and stream and work and obviously
lose weight and being a relationship with my last relationship,

(36:12):
and then everything just kind of like sort of falling
apart because I couldn't do all the things I wanted
to do it once and I wasn't enjoying pretty much
any of them. Um, but this time, I think, like
I think coming back now after like sort of my
success in the sports and being thrown in the deep end,
I think I have actually a good story to tell
that I'm I'm really passionate about and I could actually

(36:35):
help people, you know, Like everything I want to do
now is to like I just said, just cause chaos
in the scene and help get women more represented in
in the tech industry, in the game's industry, in the
sports world. Like I've reached site to so many companies
now and like quite a lot of them, I've actually
replied where I'm just like if I if I was
a look up how to install a graphics card or

(36:57):
RAM into PC or whatever, it's always the same dude
or the same couple of dudes, And I'm like, why
is there no why is there no females? And like
I'll do it, Like I'll like I don't necessarily want
to do it, like I love building pieces and I
don't necessarily want to do anything that, but I would.
I want to do it to inspire other people to
do it. So that and say, like a year's time,

(37:18):
if we look up how to do these things you'll
have a whole list of people and you'll have a
whole flourishing like female content creators that are no longer
afraid to like that's how you build a computer because
you know they don't want to do it because they
know they'll just get toxic comments about being a woman
and how obviously you don't know how to build a
computer because you're a woman. Is like, well, no, it's completely, completely,

(37:40):
a lot true, and I could probably build a computer
better than you can. It's like, I just want to
help break down that barrier to show that like I'm here,
I'm willing to do it and pretty much just like
a glorified idiot. So if I can do it and
have fun doing things like that, then pretty much anyone can.

(38:01):
And like that's my whole goal. It's just to show
that it's not a boys club. It can be a
voice club. Boys and more than welcome in the club,
but it's everyone's it's for everyone, it's not just for
the same same guys. And m hm, do you have
any tips for people, especially you know, like women are
queer people who are trying to get into things like

(38:22):
the sports or are getting into like competitive gaming or whatever.
And they're facing that toxicity. Do you have any tips
for how to deal with that, because that's something you
mentioned earlier that you stop playing kind of Strike for example,
because it was so toxic. Do you have any like
things that have helped you deal with toxicity whenever you've
been going back into things like Valerian Because as much
as Valiant maybe gay coundra Strike, it still has toxicity

(38:43):
for sure. I mean it's a bit different with so
say counter Strike, right, you pick your picture, you pick
your display picture, and I'm the kind of person who
doesn't shoy away from being me, So my pictures and
steamer are always of me. And that's where the hit
comes in because they're like, oh, why have you got
a picture of a girl on your profile? And then
they hear me talking like, oh, you're dudes with blah
blah blah, and and this is my own team. So

(39:05):
they're already toxic and they're already killing the team balance.
I mean, before start, maybe play a game if you're
into like Daughta where it's not voice comes so you
don't have to talk, you don't. If you're not comfortable
with your voice, don't use it. With some advice that
I personally I don't like, but it's is a good

(39:25):
way to get yourself into these situations is just change
your name. Don't like have a gender neutral name. You
shouldn't have to do and I don't. I wouldn't do
it because then I feel they're winning. The trolls are
winning that way. But if you really don't want any
like toxicity towards that, you could play under the name

(39:45):
of like Rusty Potato, I don't know, whatevery, whatever you want.
It's just like completely different to who you actually are.
You can turn comments off. Again. I don't want to
turn my comments off because I want to shine a
light on the bit of comments and use that energy
to to flip them. And obviously if you turn comments
off them people can't reach out to you. That maybe

(40:07):
our struggle and I want to know more UM and
want to get involved UM and the other thing. There's
a whole world out there, you know, there's a hole.
There's hundreds of discords for LGBT people, and there's a
hundreds of discords for female gamers of female identifying gamers
UM subreddits that you can you can very easily nowadays
find that team full of like minded people who will

(40:29):
not judge you for who you are, and it will
openly accept you into the little group and you you
make some new friends and be able to play and
compete in the games. Now, the only thun side of
that is you might not have good teammates. You might
fall in with people here just playing for funds. So
if you want to go esports, you can use that

(40:49):
as kind of like your platform to get back into it,
and then once you build up enough confidence, you can
just go you know what, yeah, yea, I have a
deep voice, and what that's let's move on past this,
get over it. I was terrible whenever I did um competitive,
and I mean competitive not from like an e sports standpoint,
but from like ranked games in for example, Overwatch and stuff.

(41:12):
I'm I'm very argumentative insofar as if somebody starts like
picking on a teammate, I frequently will jump in and
be like, no, you can't say that to that person,
and then they'll target me, and then I'm just like,
I'm just gonna mute this person. So they're going to
keep talking but I can't hear them. And then I
was just like saying to my teammates just ignore them.
It's fine, just ignore. But if they're picking on me,

(41:34):
they're not picking on my other teammate and making them
feel bad. So I'm just like, I'll just stand in
front of you and then mute them so I can't
hear them, but they're not talking to you anymore. Mute
them and let's go. It doesn't always work, though, the
only problem is I feel like that's a big problem
in gaming in general. Um that frequently when people are toxic,
it affects their performance. Have you find that that's kind

(41:56):
of like the vibe that you get so like, especially
in East sports right e sports is all built on mentality, repetition,
um teamwork. Like there's no solo play or a foot bockers.
I guess it's only one and and team team a sports,
there is no the kind of like you can't just
rely on an individual to carry your team and you

(42:19):
can't have a toxic person in that environment. Like I've
met so many coaches over this weekend past and over
the Commonwealth weekend of and like they're like, half of
my role is just making sure everyone's in their right
head space, making sure everyone is you know, it's happy,
it's positive, Like if you see a player's head dip,
you need to pick that player up and like and

(42:41):
that's where you say, you know, you can't say that
to that person, and you stand in and you jump
up for them, and then the hit comes to org
and you met them, met them, meet them, Like that's
that's great, and like that's kind of what I'm trying
to do with like my making content to so like, well,
come and give me the hit and I'll just make
you look like a film because you comment and all
my stuff just pushes me up the algorithm. So say

(43:02):
all the mean stuff you want. I'll reach more trans
people this way and more LGBT people. Like it's fine,
do what you want. But also I've got into this
really bad habit now. If someone's being toxic in a game,
I just like flip it and I go like hyper
positive on that person. So if someone's playing badly and
someone's like, oh you're you're you're a terrible player, blah

(43:23):
blah blah, I'm like, dude, you're doing so well. Keep
trying and keep going and keep doing this and eventually,
like I'll just be louder than the toxic rools and
eventually they'll stop and our team must start picking up again.
And there's like I will fight any negative toxicity with
like exuberant, colorful positivity, and I dare anyone to come

(43:45):
against me with it, because I'll go on for days.
I'll talk absolute rubbish for days, and it will be
the most inspiring stuff you'll ever hear, but not really
did to the game, but that one person's having a
bad game, we'll have a good game at the end
of it. Of that, So I know that, like, obviously
there's still quite a ways to go as far as

(44:06):
you know, tamping down on this toxicity in games. Do
you have any thoughts as far as like what you
would like to see either like game developers or tournament
organizers do, like what are some of the changes you
would ideally like to see to prevent this kind of thing?
So I don't think tournament organizers really need to do
anything because most of the hit comes from people outside

(44:27):
of the competitive scene. You know, it's not it's not
another team. They only toxic things another team will do
with the is trash talk you. They never personally attack
you or like be real dea. They'll just be like, yoh,
I'm better than You're gonna win that stuff like that
because they know that they're in almost a professional environment.
They know if they say something out aligned, they're going

(44:47):
to get kicked either team because everyone in esports and
everyone in that sort of environment, it's all we're all
like minded, you know, we're all accepting, we're all like
gamers and gamers like it's it, It doesn't matter. But
I think like social media though, is where it needs
to change. Like if they say, someone comes into Kirsties
Twitch and I don't know I'm allowed to say your

(45:10):
name on here, most of them like like if someone
comes into your stream right and obviously you have a
fantastic group of mods and you're very quick and like
catch controls like yourself, so like you'll be able to
like delete their comments and move them. I feel like
Twitch should have a responsibility to then review why that
person have what messages were deleted, and if they get

(45:34):
banned from your chat, they should be banned from every chat,
like every channel. And if they and fort say, I
don't know x amount of time they come back to
do it again, banned again, and for making new accounts,
like you can do it on Instagram. You can if
you get like bodied, you can block someone and any
new accounts that person creates, like I don't like Twitch,

(45:55):
needs to like especially Twitch and YouTube and Facebook and
Twitter just are blanket banning people. But it's okay to
blanket band trans people from stuff, But why don't we
blanket band toxicity. Like, yes, it's freedom of speech, but
it's also hate, So it's not freedom of speech. It's
you know, it's it's spreading hatred comments, which is illegal

(46:16):
in places. So like, if you're going to be toxic
with your voice, everyone should have a voice and be
allowed to use it. But if you're going to spread
hate and toxicity, you shouldn't be allowed to have your voice.
And that's just unfortunate because if you have a reason
for doing it, and you can justify what you're saying
and back it up with like science and facts and stuff,
then sure have a conversation about it and educate yourself

(46:38):
around it and suck it out. But if you're just
being toxic for the second, being toxic, get banned and
not be allowed to go anywhere else. It's definitely something
that comes up with which a lot where people like
if someone is repeatedly being timed out or banned in
multiple chats that should really raise a bigger red flag.
I feel like a lot of the time the occurrence
need to be reported manually, whereas like granted I sometimes

(47:01):
troll people like my mods for example, in time their way,
so may be not an automatic thing. But at the
same time, if someone is repeatedly getting timed out in
every single chat they go into, that should probably raise
a flag. That means that, like you know, Twitch has
to review that our current because like it's you shouldn't
have There should be no situation where you're literally timed

(47:23):
out or banned in every single chat you go into,
unless you're a troll. Exactly if you did that in school,
or you did that and work, you would be suspended,
you would be fired. Like if you went in down
in the office tomorrow, which I'm not going to do
because I never plan to go back to my office
again and just started like being so rude and so
toxic to people like they are online, I'd be kicked
out of the billing straight away, and like I wouldn't

(47:44):
be allowed back in. I'd be fired. I don't see
why it's okay because it's entertainment that the rules are different,
you know, because you're watching something that's is you know
someone's putting on a performance that you then get to
be toxic towards them, whereas you wouldn't any other aspect
of life. You couldn't do that, Like you can't even
do it in football stadiums anymore. If someone's racist in

(48:04):
the football stadium, they're kicked out of the stadium and
they're banned for life, simple as And the Premier League
now is doing it where if you're banned from mone club,
your band from moll and that's that's how it should
be with every other platform as well. Like you need
to I think they really need to start clamping down.
And yes, it will lower their viewerships, their interactions, but

(48:25):
at the end of the day, you're going to get
a better viewership and better interactions that are more organically
like positive and more like just less hostile, and then
you're gonna get more people want to come in and
more people are gonna want to talk because they're not
going to have to deal with a little Jimmy down
the road who's call on everyone X, Y and Z.

(48:46):
I don't think it's it's not fair. It's not fair
that people have to take that of your and it's
not fair that the big social media companies aren't doing
anything about it. M I know there's a company called
go bubble. Um we're basically you can and up to
them and they will remove those comments from you and
anyone who follows you. So if you were on goo

(49:06):
bubble and I can't in and said something rude to you,
that was meaning like that was I mean, not like
just me being a trolls I normally m towards you.
If so, I it's like I commeen and said something
really bad that would be flagged on the go bubble thing,
and then every one of your followers wouldn't see that message.
But because the freedom of speech, everyone who wasn't following
you could still see it. And I feel like that's

(49:29):
a good step in the right direction. But I feel
like instead of the individual having to use that program,
social media companies should use that program so that everyone
on that social media path from then doesn't see that
person's message. Um, we've kind of focused a lot on
I guess toxicity and like negativity, so I kind of

(49:50):
want to flip it a little bit now and asked
what are some of the highlights of your career and
your e sports journey and your content creation journey and
all of that stuff. What are some of your favorite
moment Yeah, month long career of a sports as it's been.
It's literally been the best month of my life. I've
been to Birmingham. I have met so many people, Like

(50:12):
I can't explain the like the amount of new friends
I've made over the last month, and from all across
the world. Like I met a guy called Dan from Gibraltar.
He is the nicest, sweetest man you'll ever meet. Um
he sady came forth in the tournament and I've seen
him afterwards and he was crying, and then I started
to cry. So I went into town and bought them

(50:33):
a little tiny gold medal from like a costume store
where I got my thing from. And he sent me
a tweet the other night of him still wearing it,
like with his little girl, like his little girl wasn't
beside him and he was just like still a champion,
and I was just like, oh, that's really really sweet.
So like the friendships have made and the opportunities that
are all coming out of this, like it's literally changing

(50:55):
my life. Like every day I wake up to something new,
coming in and like, what, what's what's going on? How
am I doing this? What's like something has to be
I'm being trolled or something again. Um, but no, Like
I honestly friends that I've made, the new connections I've made, um,
obviously my lifelong friends such as yourself that I met

(51:17):
through gaming. You know, that's like that's something that I
will always have because because of gaming, you know, we'll
always have our fifteen years did we say? It? Was
like I feel old, Like there's the most content. Twitters
are only starting at fifteen and every fifteen years, um,

(51:38):
and like I don't know, like my TikTok's blowing up,
my Twitter's getting like I've actually finally stuck to use
on Twitter this time. It's amazing And I really like
Twitter and I on Facebook doesn't get used as much anymore.
And like I was like I got invited to Insomnia
to go on a panel last week this weekend passed
there and like I got to see the most amazing
Ryan Hard Costs play in the world. Like honestly, this

(51:59):
girl was like Eavfort and she looked amazing and I
was just like, yes, queen, you do. I Like it
was just it was just such a fun experience and
like even if you're not into e sports, you're just
in the kas gaming. I think like those kind of
festivals are great for just meaning like minded people and
having fun and exploring yourself and exploring like the opportunities

(52:24):
right there because you meet so many people and it's
just such a positive vibe. There's no negativity. I didn't
like from the second by stepped into that festival, it
was only acceptance and love and positivity and just like
sheer joyous energy. Like every corner I walked around there
was just somebody going nuts with like just positive, actually positive.

(52:45):
And I was like this class, I never want to leave.
And they gets the five o'clock and I was like,
I want to go to bed. I've been here too long,
need to go to bed. I can imagine you're probably
already like looking forward to your next event. Do you
have another event either that you're attending or competing out
on the docket yet? Yeah? I have a few. So
I'm on a panel tomorrow morning, um South African Film

(53:08):
Production panel about this is three Go Bubble And they
had a drop out and they were like like could
you please fill in last minute it's tomorrow. Here's a
list of stuff we want to talk about about, like
misogyny and against women and abus against women online, UM
in sports and e sports, and I was like, yeah,
of course I'll come in and talk about that um.

(53:31):
And then next week I'm off to ESI London, which
is like a big networking event and Women in Games
have invited me down to that. And then look after that,
I'm off the London again to go meet the head
of Ease Film and Film, music and gaming. And then
after that me and Psyche are off to gamer Fest
in Dublin. Yeah, and then I'm gonna take some time

(53:52):
off on Christmas because I've already traveled far too many
times this year. Although the Istanbul Um, the Global Federation Games,
which is the same company that the Common with, is
in December and they're doing efortball. So if I get
called up the team GB probably good at Istanbul nice

(54:13):
that would be very interesting. Yeah, that's really cool. Plenty
of opportunities there, mm hmm. Just to kind of boins
off of what Jass has asked, then, I guess what
kind of goals do you have going forward with your
kind of all of the different like opportunities you've had
to do, like talks you were talking about possibly having

(54:34):
a job offer. You don't have to go into too
much detail obviously right now, but do you have any
like goals that you feel comfortable sharing with us? What
does the future look like for you? Yeah, I just
wanna I just wanna basically share positivity and like the
job rule. I don't actually know what the job rule
is because we've talked so much back and forth about it,

(54:54):
but from what I can see, it's basically going around
educating people to just be a decent human. Um any
sports like and I was like, that's exactly what I
want to do. So it's like going to schools and
colleges and e sports teams and like building from then. Um,
I mean, I know eventually I would love to have
like my own I don't want to be in charge
of like a team, but I would love to be

(55:17):
like a talent recruitment and really focus on like women
in the LGBT community to be like, Okay, let's get
you into a team because you're good enough and you
can do it, and like what's I'd love to be
able to talk to someone like, Okay, what's holding you
back from pushing yourself forward, and because you have all
the skills, like, what is it that you're that worries
you about going forward? And what can I do to

(55:38):
help that? Because I've I've now been thrown in the
deep end, and I'm pretty sure most things that they'll
they'll say, I'll have already have tried to overcome myself
and use my experiences to do so. I don't know, like,
I just want. I don't. I want to do more
in the sports world. I want to do more in
the tech and gaming world. I want to I just
want to how inspire the next generation too, basically be themselves,

(56:04):
be who they're supposed to be, and not be afraid
to do it and hopefully take away some toxicity in
the world. That would be nice. And do you regardless
of you know, this job or any other job that
you might get, you, are you actively creating content? Do
you plan to do that as well? Yeah, so I've
I've got my TikTok I put up. It's gonna do

(56:26):
like a beginner of Valiant Guide. I know obviously balance
out for a while now, but they's getting new players
every day and there's no trans person or an a
well to beat person that has that I've seen on TikTok,
that goes through and says, this is this character, this
is what this move does, this is what this move does.
This is how you use them, and just like really
short snappy clips, like I did one for Neil on

(56:47):
the other day and I just got so much abuse.
There was like thirty something comments on it, just like
calling me out for being trans and like calling me
sick and tell me I need to help and stuff,
and I was like, you know what, I'm going to
make another just because you're being ducks. Like it's like
I love it. I love it and hear it because
there's days obviously where I'll be darn and like I'm

(57:08):
I still suffer with depression and stuff. So there'll be
days I'll be darning and I'll read them and I'm like,
oh no, here we go again, what's this comment? But
most days now I'm like, you know what, there you
gotta say. No, I'm just gonna use it positively and
I'm gonna use it to try and inspire someone else
because eventually it will get to the point where you know,
there's just as many women content creators or female idn't

(57:29):
find commentators, commentators, comment creators or LGBT comment creators, that
it won't matter anymore, like everyone will just you'll just
be a content creator and that's it. It doesn't matter
if your gender, your sexual orientation, you're anything. You can
identify as a baseball bat and still be a content
creator and no one will give your ship for it.
And that's what I wanted to get to. Maybe not

(57:51):
baseball bat, but you know what I mean, Well, are
there any upcoming projects or anything that you're working on
that you'd like to shout out or share? Um so
an share? Yeah, I have nothing like concrete, but I'm
really trying to push. I have a couple of charities
and a couple of shirt creators for esports. So like

(58:12):
I was walking around the Insomnia and everyone was wearing
an e sports jersey, like like a basically like a
football jersey for a specific team, And I really want
to create one that's like a not for profit one
where it just promotes inclusiveness and diversity and to governess.
And I've got a couple of charities that I've already
sort of emailed and said, if I'm able to do this,

(58:34):
you would you like to help me promote it, and
we will get your your brands and get your charity
on the shirt, and you will sell all these shirts
and all the profits have just been split across all
the different charities. Um. And I think that would be
such an awesome thing to see. Like if if I
go to another festival and I see like a wee
part of people all wearing like this shirt that I've

(58:56):
designed to help bring to Governess and like, obviously it's
going to be pink, So like if I see, like,
if I see them, and if anyone else sees them,
they'll know that that's someone who's accepting that someone who
you know is open, and that's someone who's just like
a joy to be around and and wants to be
in the scene and helped the grow up in a
positive way. And I think instead of having all the

(59:17):
individual teams, I think that'd be such a cool thing
to have because you'll see it everywhere and you'll be
walking around and like, oh, that's that's the that's the
togetherness top you know, that person is cool, that person
cares about people. UM. So I'm basically going to be
badgering Bartley's for that one because They have invited me
down a few times now and want to work with

(59:39):
me on on some sort of projects. And Bartley's is
the leading LGBT company in the UK, so I'm like, hey,
let's do this. But I just have to wait for
their head head guy to come back from holiday. Okay, cool? Um,
I guess you could probably wrap up requests for today.
So just do you have any upcoming projects you'd also
like to shut out? I don't, in particular have two much. Um.

(01:00:00):
I guess the one thing I'll shout out is um
for my job at Gamers Outreach, we are still inviting
streamers to our upcoming charity event called the Spectacular stream
with On. So you know, anyone who might want to
be involved in that and do some fundraising for what
I think is a good cause, which is putting video
games in children's hospitals, go ahead and hit me up.

(01:00:20):
The best way to do that probably is just hit
me up on Twitter and my d M s at
just brow hard and we can get you on boarded
for that. Cool. You've also been doing a lot of
really really cool work art streams. I just want to
pay attention to that, or draw attention to that because
I was watching one the other day and I was
really enjoying it. Thank you so much. I appreciate you
bringing that up. Yeah, I have gotten back into streaming.
I was, you know, I know, we talked about hiatuses

(01:00:42):
and such, and from like February to August of this year,
I was pretty much on hiatus because I didn't know
what I wanted to do with my content, with my
time and everything. And then I figured, you know, I'm
working out so much, and like my husband owns his
own gym, so we have that space where I can
go any time and do a fitness stream and not
you know, because I personally would not feel comfortable doing
a fitness from like a public place. I don't want
to be talking loudly, be taking up too much time

(01:01:04):
in people's way. So I have this opportunity of, like,
I'm going to be here anyway, fits into my schedule,
might as well, you know, I can stream from my phone,
might as well flip it on. So yes, I've been
doing my fitness streams Sunday mornings and Wednesday evenings, and
I've been having just a ton of fun with that.
They've been really fun and they have super motivated me.
Because I actually I really want to get strong, so

(01:01:24):
I'm like, yeah, let's go. I'm not going to be
doing any streams because I don't feel particularly comfortable doing it,
even but I do want to get strong, so I'm like, yeah,
let's go. You should. I'm excited. Um for me, I'm
honestly just kind of taken along. Honestly, I don't really
have anything particularly try to, although um I am. I
feel like I'm in a discovery phase right now. I'm
thinking of all the different kinds of content I'd like

(01:01:45):
to create and like the whole you know, diversify your content,
don't just be creating on one platform. I'm trying to
think of ways that I could create different things, like
more short form content on TikTok and stuff like that.
And I've got loads of ideas and no time to
do any of it. So I'm hoping that I'll have
an update in a couple of weeks where I can
be like, oh, yeah, I started doing a like content
I said. I was thinking about fingers crossed anyway. Um, Emma,

(01:02:06):
where can people find you across the web? Um at
m Z one nine two on every social media platform
and streaming service. I am said, I I one nine two, nice,
excellent and jazz. Where can people find you? I am
at just Brohard on most platforms, so that's Twitter, Instagram, TikTok,
and then on Twitch, I'm just twitch dot tv slash

(01:02:26):
Jess Nice and you can find me at twitch dot
tv for slash Psyche four days a week. And on Twitter,
Instagram and YouTube is Psyche plays and TikTok is Psyche Twitch.
And I'm always the like the one who doesn't have
her branding in order. It's really embarrassing every time everyone's like, oh,
I'm you know this across all platforms, and I'm this

(01:02:46):
on most platforms, but this somewhere else where, I'm like,
I'm three different names depending on where you find me
because I don't have my ship together. You play with
like which ones were taken and stuff mind recently because
I had to fill stuff in for the common Wealth
and I was like, oh my goodness, these are all
like different generations of the same thing. I was like,

(01:03:06):
this is confusing. Well, Emma, thank you very very much
for joining us today. I really appreciate it. It's been
lovely talking to you. Oh, thank you so much for
having me, and thank you, Jess for joining us all today,
us all today. Why did I say it like all
of us everyone for joining me and co hosting today,

(01:03:28):
but instead of like, thank you for joining all of us,
all three of us, thank you hosting, Emma, thank you
for guesting all of us today. Everyone. Your side quest
this week is to catch up with us on social
media at the Boss Level Pod. That's Boss l v
L Pod, and make sure you subscribe to our YouTube
channel for video episodes as well. You can find all

(01:03:50):
that information on our social media. Thank you everyone so
much for your support so far. Have a wonderful week
and we'll see you in the next episode. Bhi everyone,
by Yeah