January 10, 2023 • 22 mins
Star ultimate Frisbee player and school hottie Brady Brewster takes a devastating hit during the big game, then suspiciously disappears. Gonzo student journalist Clara is on assignment to investigate. Also, something about wolves.
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Speaker 1 (00:08):
It's the spring Ultimate Frisbee Championships. Wanting to the field,
the visiting Jefferson High did weeds and starting center, disappointed
for our Brewster high touch jobs. It's our own Brady Prewsterer. Hey, Brady,
you're ready to play some frisbee. I'll do the catching
and I'll do the throwing as cool as I would say,
(00:30):
Oh yeah, high five? Who uh? You don't have to
say high five every time you want to high five.
It was obvious when you lifted your hand in the air. Sorry, Brady,
I'll do better next time. Picture the perfect high school.
Now frame that picture and hang it on the wall.
You have what I like to call perspective. Who's in
(00:51):
your picture? In mine? There was Brady. Brady Brewster was perfect, confident, kind, intelligent,
damn good looking. So I wouldn't mind if his ears
were a little bigger. That makes his head look like
a pumpkin. But you forgot all about it when you
saw him on the field, the frisbee field, because Brady
(01:11):
Brewster was the best ultimate frisbee player that Brewster High
had ever seen or heard. Here's the here's the beat.
Nice Brady was small town royalty. His family founded this
town when hundred years ago to build their business, Brewster
Bruis Brewery. Watching Brady play the all American sport of
(01:31):
frisbee was like watching the life you wanted to have,
like watching the top half of below deck. But mostly
it was like watching him play frisbee. How you here?
Here's the beat? Here's the beat? Nice frisbee, asked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
just brisbee, frisbeebe frisbee body. Brewster high star frisbee player
(02:01):
has been horrifically injured in an unexpected tackle. Please enjoy
this whimsical song while they removed his body. Are you
stop boring me? More? Why wasn't anyone covering Brady that day?
Where it was Hide, Brady's best friend and teammate. If
(02:21):
Brady was the handler, Hide was the cutter. Those are
actual frisbee positions. I looked them up. Nothing and no
one was what it seemed. Nothing and no one was
what it seemed based on what there's no evidence for
any of that. Usually school newspaper articles more, you know facts.
I was in the school newspaper classroom reading a draft
(02:43):
of my article to my journalism teacher, Otis Nelson. I
know that Clara, I'm sitting right in front of you.
Are you putting that sentence in your article too? I
think there's something fishy about the hit Brady Brewster took
during the Frisbee game. He sent you there to cover
the new snacks at the concession stand. What's to cover her?
They brought snow caps back, Clara, we could do a
(03:03):
thousand words just on that. I'm tired of the candy beat.
I want to be a brass balls investigative reporter. Oh listen, Clara,
I know got your reporter, Band Dirtner, and he is miserable.
And I'm high school history and journalism teacher, so I
know miserable. Trust me, kid, give up on this dream
now before it's too late. No way, Local TV News gotcha,
(03:26):
reporter Ban Dirtner didn't give up, and neither will I.
It's like you need to get out of your system. Alright, Well,
you've got a week to bring me anything interesting about
Brady's injury. But that's in addition to three columns on
snow caps. I'm already working on my follow up article.
It starts like this. The next day at school, everyone
was dealing with the fallout from Brady's injury, take Brid,
(03:47):
his ex girlfriend, and his teammate and best friend Hide.
Are you actually able to see in the future? Are
you just making the ship up? Good morning? Before the
customary morning announced man, I like to remind everyone that
we are currently in the halls of Brewster High School,
the morning after the ultimate frisbee game in which Brady
Brewster got injured. In fact, his friends Hide and Brid
(04:08):
are probably walking to class together right now. Hey, Hide,
I'm still pretty shocked about what happened to Brady yesterday.
Do you know how he's doing. That's a good question, Britt,
I'm glad you asked. They say Brady's left wrist might
possibly have slightly reduced flexibility for months, so every time
he wants to check his watch, or peel banana or
(04:28):
stroke his dick. Yeah, that's awful. Don't blame yourself, Hide, Um,
I didn't switching gears. It's the big auction party at
my house tonight. Can you remind me again? Why are
the auctioning off your house and all your ship? Remember
what happened with my dad? Everybody boy cutted his mumper
sticker shop and it went out of business because of
that thing. That happened with a go out. That thing
at the zoo, Ah, that thing at the zoo. Let's
(04:52):
make sure to talk about that with more specificity later.
Now I'll need to get a job. Can you think
we'll buy your house? The most annoying kid school? Here
he comes? Now, what's that? What is that odor? My pores?
It's just a harmless bacteria that lives in my skin
and feeds off my sweat. So looking forward to taking
(05:14):
possession of your house at midnight tonight, Brent. I think
I'll use your old bedroom to showcase my Fedora collection.
One of them is from Barcelona. Where did you get
the money to afford a house, Jeff? Didn't your pizza
restaurant go out of business when everyone who ate there
got diarrhea? Diarrhea like a fox. I also bought a
diarrhea medicine company. The diarrhea might have been the razor,
(05:36):
but the medicine was the razor blades. Oh my god,
everything's broken, guy? What's up? Careful? You're gonna knock off
the trunchet. Clara, get over your Brady's back? Oh Brady,
how's your body? Pretty messed up? I'm still trying to
(05:56):
get the hang of these crutches art, let me help you. Thanks.
You know, Clara, I get this feeling that there's something
wonky about our frisbee games, like there's something much bigger
going on. Oh shoot, sorry, I got to Well, maybe
it'll make for an interesting story someday. You A wait,
we're all just stories. A reporter wouldn't know that better
(06:18):
than anyone, you son of a bitch. Now you're doing
it on purpose. Paragraph to that night at Brind's house.
Hold on, Everything up to now has just been one paragraph.
That's an unconventional writing staff for school newspaper. Clara, and
(06:39):
I should know. I am your journalism teacher. Get used
to it, Mr Nelson. US kids only know how to
communicate by text. You're lucky I give you any sentence
structure at all. As long as you're in my newspaper classroom,
you will keep your paragraphs to six sentences or less.
As I was saying, paragraph three. The estate auction at
(06:59):
Brent's house was that night, with Geffen as the auctioneer.
Next up for auction is Brian's baby shoes and her
hair from her first haircuts, being we'll start at twelve
D Do I hear und do I heart hundred and
fifty dollars sold for fourteen hundred and fifty dollars. Congratulations, Hide,
(07:23):
thank you. What are you going to do with my hair?
I didn't even really want it. I just like winning.
Next up, we have every book brand was supposed to
read in ninth grade but didn't. All of these books
are guaranteed to reflect limited points of view from a
narrow Western mindset. These titles include The Jane Eyre, Lord
of the Flies, The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women,
and The Old Man in the Sea. Do you have
two hundred dollars to put these books on your very
(07:44):
own bookshelf and not read them either? I have two
hundred from that young woman in the back. You know
my name, Geffen. Do I hear to fifty? Sorry, I've
got to take this call. Do I hear to fifty
nine hundred? This is Clara, Clara, It's Brady. Are you
at brinspor Closure party yet? Yeah? I'm in the kitchen.
Where are you the tennis court? Which one the clay
(08:05):
court or the cement court. I'm not sure. Let me
try to serve and see cement. It wasn't as much
top spin as there usually is come find me at
the tennis court. No one can know I'm here. It's
vitally important. Grady out, Oh hey, where Dexter? A member
(08:27):
of our friend group? Why aren't you inside with your
boyfriend Hid, also a member of our friend group. I'm
trying to find a gazebo so I can smoke some
clothes cigarettes. This property is huge. I'm trying to find
the tennis court. Which one clay are grass? Neither cement?
I don't know that one. Well, good luck, Britt, Just
(08:48):
who I was looking for? Where exactly is your cement
tennis court? It's not going to be mine after tonight. Clara, right,
you're losing everything. But after all, your dad did shoot
the most up Koala at the Brewster Bay Zoo. Would
it have been better if you shot the other Koala?
The one everyone thinks it's a dick? Guns don't kill
Koala's brand. People kill Koala's or often dingoes. But if
(09:12):
you're looking for an apology for me, then here it comes.
I'm sorry, and I promised to make it up to
you with these off coupons from bed Bath and Beyond. WHOA,
don't get too excited. They only applied to one item
purpurchase anyway that tennis court. It's about twenty ft that direction.
Oh yeah, there it is. I guess I'll just walk
that direction. Ready, ready, ready, huh. I'll try calling him. Hey,
(09:43):
it's Brady Brewster here. Leave a message after the tone
just kidding, here's the real tone. Where is Brady? Oh
my god, his crutches lying here on the tennis court.
But Brady can't walk anywhere without his crutches. That means
that someone must have brought an identical pair of crutches
(10:04):
and placed them here to confuse me. May I have
your attention. It's Monday morning. Welcome back to Brewster High.
Class is about to be game. That's pretty much all
you need to know. You come in a class brand
it's home economics, and you know miss Bagley does not
(10:25):
play about people being late. I know I'll see you
in there. I just have to run to the bathroom
to freshen up. I hope I don't run into any
wild animals while I'm in the bathroom. Attention Brewster High.
I forgot to mention that wild wolves are allowed to
roam free at the school, as brit is about to
find out firsthand. So I guess there was more you
needed to do. Oh my god, Principal fair Weather, Bran,
(10:56):
are you okay? A wolf just attacked me in the bathroom.
Why does the school at wolves to wander freely around campus?
I don't like it either, but the schools safer with
the wolves. It's a classic case of the lesser of
two evils. What's the other evil? Bears? Bears are the
other evil? We don't have bears around here because of
the wolves. What can we do to convince you to
get rid of them? Think of your civics class, Brian.
(11:18):
When the whole population wants something, how do the effect
change by voting you wish? Then? How about if I
write an angry op ed in the school newspaper. I
control the newspaper. So something to do with a flash mob.
I'm just gonna give it to you. It's protests. You
can stage a protest a protest, got it? Thanks, Principal
fair Weather. Be careful what you wish for. I just
(11:39):
might do that. I didn't actually wish for that, did
I What secret did Brady want to tell me on
the tennis court last night? Did he just want to
make out? And why were his crushes there, and he
did want to make out right? Are you still reading
your article to me? I thought you were done? How
(11:59):
could I be on with this article already? Mr Nelson?
There is still so much left unanswered. I lit a
bunch of fuses, but none of them have paid off yet.
Starting with where's Brady Brewster? No one has seen him
all day? And what about Brian? You want excitement, She's
about to go for a job interview to be a
part time school janitor. Anything could happen. Good morning, Brewster High.
(12:26):
It's crazy that we have feral wolves roaming the halls
at school, Like, what is this the late Pleiosocene period? Also,
Brand's interviewing for a job with the head janitor. Let's
get back to the job interview. You think you got
what it takes to join the Brewster High Cristorial staff.
I really do. I know my father has a bad reputation,
(12:48):
but it was just one misjudgment. I'm not my father.
He killed the most beloved animal at the zoo. That's
a pretty major misjudgment. How do I know that kind
of misjudgment? All is um doesn't run in the family.
Try me out. I'll be the best janitor you've ever
seen or heard. All right, fine, Frank just died, so
(13:11):
we do have an open spot, and you're about the
same size, so you can fit in his uniform. Welcome
to the student Janitor Work Study program Ms Mariskino. You
just joined a very exclusive club. Well as Groutcha Mark said,
I would never want to be a member of any
club that would have me. But what if it's a
club comprised of only very happy, fulfilled people. You got
(13:33):
a lot to learn, Ms, Mariskino, and your education starts today. Easy.
Your keys guard them with your life, right, what do
they all? Do? You really only need this one. It's
the master. The rest are just for show. I have
a question. Did you wash the uniform or did I
(13:55):
wash it? In? It? Right? Well, he drowned in the
mop water, so it had open it. Attention Brewster High students,
please report to your third period classroom if you have
Hall Mack. Your teacher is Mrs Bagley, who is the
wife of Coach Bagley. As you could guess by her
last name, I mean Dogsted next to Row. All right, everybody,
(14:18):
let's quiet down before we get into a discussion about
chapter seventeen. I want to talk to you for a
moment about your secret plan to walk out of this
class this afternoon and protest the wolf population the school protects.
And here's the thing, Principal Fairweather seems to think we
should let you have your little demonstration, But I'd like
(14:40):
you to consider both sides of this issue. Some of
us think wolves are dangerous. Life is dangerous. We can't
stop going to school or bungee jumping or test piloting
jet packs just because we're scared. We're not saying to
close the school. We're saying to get rid of the wolves.
Remember a year ago, when the local deer population was
(15:01):
out of control, it was chaos. The only logical measure
was to introduce wolves back into their ancestral hunting grounds.
And ever since, no more dear or rabbits, or puppies
or kittens or my baby also is eaten in Principal
fair Weather coming in, Sorry to interrupt, students, it's come
(15:23):
to my attention that rumors are spreading about Brady Brewster.
Nothing good can come from baseless speculation. Just give Brady
some space and time and find someone else to gossip about.
Then tell us where he is. I'm not at liberty
to share that information. Wait, you're not telling us something.
Exactly what are you hiding us? That chance is so compelling? Okay, okay,
(15:50):
I'll tell you. I didn't think brady situation was anyone's
business but his own, but perhaps the truth can serve
as a cautionary lesson to you. Brady Brewster is a
wellness resort. A few months ago, Brady told his parents
that he had become addicted to eating drugs. Mm hmmmm.
(16:11):
He was high during that terrible ultimate frisbee game. That's
why he was playing erratically and got himself injured at
the eating drugs. That Crady, You don't know the real Brady.
The drugs made him act like a warm, reliable, straight
a student. But that wasn't him. That was just the
drugs messing up his mind. The real Brady was erratic,
easily provoked, unreliable. His parents sent him away to a luxury,
(16:36):
high end health retreat to clear out a system and reboot,
plus get a ten and work on his tennis Serve
tis Well. I hope this will serve as a lesson
to you all about the dangers of eating drugs. Thank
your principal, fair Weather Well, that was a short class
justin have time to hit the main points. Okay, your
homework is to read chapters eight and fourteen. Hey Hi,
(16:58):
wait up, Hi? Hi? H what's up with him? Hey? You, Jasper,
you're on the frisbee team with Hide? Is see upset
about something off the record? Hide helps the athletes cheat
their drug test. He probably feels responsible for Brady getting
hooked on eating drugs. He was his best friend. My
(17:19):
newspaper article just got a lot more interesting. Come on, Jasper.
The wolf protest is about to start, and these wolves
won't protest themselves. Attention Brewster High. The protest against unfettered
feral wolf access is currently in progress, led by main
character Britton Maraschino. Hey, how the Timver Wolves have got
(17:43):
to go? Hey? How the Timver Wolves have got to go? Hey? Hi, Dexter,
Hold up you two? Hi? What was up your butt?
After Mrs Bagley's class, I was like, hey, I want
to talk to you, and you'd be like, no way,
I gotta get out of here. Yeah, we've been dating
all year and I've never seen you like that before. Well,
if you must know, I had a boner. What is
(18:04):
going on with you? Hide? It's not likely to get
a Boner and Mrs Bagley's class. Okay, here's the real deal,
Principal Fairweather is embrace yourself. Lying, what do you mean?
Every ultimate frisbee player eats drugs for performance enhancement, but
they're all tested before every game. It would show up.
It would show up if it was their own urine.
(18:26):
But it's not their own urine. It's mine. I sell
my own clean piss to everyone on the frisbee team.
How do you think I can afford all these great
belt buckles. I figured you inherited them from a hillbilly
great uncle or something. That's why you're always chugging hydro light.
Do I even know you? This is the real meat.
You've always looked the other way when you see one
of my expensive new belt buckles. We'll look at them now, Dexter,
(18:48):
look at them now. There's a direct line between this
belt buckle right here and sixteen leaders of clean urine.
So you feel guilty about Brady getting hurt because you
enabled his addiction. No, that's the thing, me and Brady
would clean. He's the only player who didn't buy my peet.
I don't know what Brady's at, but it isn't at
(19:08):
a wellness resort, and don't get me started about their hygiene.
These wolves treat the whole school as their own personal bathroom.
So in conclusion, let's get rid of the wolves. Also,
I'm running for homecoming queens, so both for me. Brand
mars Kino. Now I promised Principal fair Weather she could
(19:29):
say a few words. Take it away, Principal fair Weather,
Thank you, Britt. I've been listening to all of your speeches,
and I gotta say, do you make some very good points?
Starting today, wolves will no longer be welcome in the
halls of Brewster High. Coach Bagley, you're in charge of
escorting the wolves out. Not exactly trained as a wild
(19:53):
animal handler, Coach Bagley, Oh, I really hate it when
you do that with your voice. You know exactly what
I'm talking about. Do not test me today. Get rid
of the wolves. Get rid of your own damn wolves,
Principal fair Weather. I'm going to the one place that
the wolves never come, the locker room. All that teenage
(20:15):
boy yarn has marked the locker room permanently. Yep, this
locker room is totally safe. There's no way a wolf
gets in here. It's the groundings must be too many
snow caps, so much fur on the ground. These boys
shouldn't be shaving their pubs in here to stay back
(20:44):
Next time I'm Brewster High. My baby is stuck alone
in a high air balloon. I don't think you've got
what it takes to be a real reporter. I'm not
a Koala killer. I'm a Koala killer's daughter. Looks like
I'll be living with you until you retired. He is
the only one with both the hardware and the software.
You can't just scooba dive whenever you want. You have
to go during low tide. I knock yourselves up. You're
(21:06):
all ready to be parents, son of folks. This episode
of Brewster High was written by Tim Neenan and Jonathan
Stern and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by
Lelan Bowden, Owen Burke, Jordan Dahl, John Gimberling, Jared Goldstein,
Greg Hess, Peter Kim, Mike McCafferty, Veronica or SiO, Shakira,
(21:28):
Janet Pay, Dwayne Perkins, Marcus Ray, Anna, Sarah Gina Sauger, shake,
Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced by Keith Quinn
and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Franny Baldwin, Jack Brongard, Natalie
Gurgli and David Solinger. The supervising sound editor was Julie
Diaz and the sound editor was Jack de Crane. Mixed
by Brent Kaiser, sound designed and mixed at Unbridled Sound.
(21:50):
Brewster High was a production of abominable pictures and honorable
mention for I Heart Media. If you like to attend
Brewster High. Applications for the False Semester are now being accepted.
Brewster Hi, where the screw ups of today become the
leaders of tomorrow. H
It's the spring Ultimate Frisbee Championships. Wanting to the field,
the visiting Jefferson High did weeds and starting center, disappointed
for our Brewster high touch jobs. It's our own Brady Prewsterer. Hey, Brady,
you're ready to play some frisbee. I'll do the catching
and I'll do the throwing as cool as I would say,
(00:30):
Oh yeah, high five? Who uh? You don't have to
say high five every time you want to high five.
It was obvious when you lifted your hand in the air. Sorry, Brady,
I'll do better next time. Picture the perfect high school.
Now frame that picture and hang it on the wall.
You have what I like to call perspective. Who's in
(00:51):
your picture? In mine? There was Brady. Brady Brewster was perfect, confident, kind, intelligent,
damn good looking. So I wouldn't mind if his ears
were a little bigger. That makes his head look like
a pumpkin. But you forgot all about it when you
saw him on the field, the frisbee field, because Brady
(01:11):
Brewster was the best ultimate frisbee player that Brewster High
had ever seen or heard. Here's the here's the beat.
Nice Brady was small town royalty. His family founded this
town when hundred years ago to build their business, Brewster
Bruis Brewery. Watching Brady play the all American sport of
(01:31):
frisbee was like watching the life you wanted to have,
like watching the top half of below deck. But mostly
it was like watching him play frisbee. How you here?
Here's the beat? Here's the beat? Nice frisbee, asked me. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
just brisbee, frisbeebe frisbee body. Brewster high star frisbee player
(02:01):
has been horrifically injured in an unexpected tackle. Please enjoy
this whimsical song while they removed his body. Are you
stop boring me? More? Why wasn't anyone covering Brady that day?
Where it was Hide, Brady's best friend and teammate. If
(02:21):
Brady was the handler, Hide was the cutter. Those are
actual frisbee positions. I looked them up. Nothing and no
one was what it seemed. Nothing and no one was
what it seemed based on what there's no evidence for
any of that. Usually school newspaper articles more, you know facts.
I was in the school newspaper classroom reading a draft
(02:43):
of my article to my journalism teacher, Otis Nelson. I
know that Clara, I'm sitting right in front of you.
Are you putting that sentence in your article too? I
think there's something fishy about the hit Brady Brewster took
during the Frisbee game. He sent you there to cover
the new snacks at the concession stand. What's to cover her?
They brought snow caps back, Clara, we could do a
(03:03):
thousand words just on that. I'm tired of the candy beat.
I want to be a brass balls investigative reporter. Oh listen, Clara,
I know got your reporter, Band Dirtner, and he is miserable.
And I'm high school history and journalism teacher, so I
know miserable. Trust me, kid, give up on this dream
now before it's too late. No way, Local TV News gotcha,
(03:26):
reporter Ban Dirtner didn't give up, and neither will I.
It's like you need to get out of your system. Alright, Well,
you've got a week to bring me anything interesting about
Brady's injury. But that's in addition to three columns on
snow caps. I'm already working on my follow up article.
It starts like this. The next day at school, everyone
was dealing with the fallout from Brady's injury, take Brid,
(03:47):
his ex girlfriend, and his teammate and best friend Hide.
Are you actually able to see in the future? Are
you just making the ship up? Good morning? Before the
customary morning announced man, I like to remind everyone that
we are currently in the halls of Brewster High School,
the morning after the ultimate frisbee game in which Brady
Brewster got injured. In fact, his friends Hide and Brid
(04:08):
are probably walking to class together right now. Hey, Hide,
I'm still pretty shocked about what happened to Brady yesterday.
Do you know how he's doing. That's a good question, Britt,
I'm glad you asked. They say Brady's left wrist might
possibly have slightly reduced flexibility for months, so every time
he wants to check his watch, or peel banana or
(04:28):
stroke his dick. Yeah, that's awful. Don't blame yourself, Hide, Um,
I didn't switching gears. It's the big auction party at
my house tonight. Can you remind me again? Why are
the auctioning off your house and all your ship? Remember
what happened with my dad? Everybody boy cutted his mumper
sticker shop and it went out of business because of
that thing. That happened with a go out. That thing
at the zoo, Ah, that thing at the zoo. Let's
(04:52):
make sure to talk about that with more specificity later.
Now I'll need to get a job. Can you think
we'll buy your house? The most annoying kid school? Here
he comes? Now, what's that? What is that odor? My pores?
It's just a harmless bacteria that lives in my skin
and feeds off my sweat. So looking forward to taking
(05:14):
possession of your house at midnight tonight, Brent. I think
I'll use your old bedroom to showcase my Fedora collection.
One of them is from Barcelona. Where did you get
the money to afford a house, Jeff? Didn't your pizza
restaurant go out of business when everyone who ate there
got diarrhea? Diarrhea like a fox. I also bought a
diarrhea medicine company. The diarrhea might have been the razor,
(05:36):
but the medicine was the razor blades. Oh my god,
everything's broken, guy? What's up? Careful? You're gonna knock off
the trunchet. Clara, get over your Brady's back? Oh Brady,
how's your body? Pretty messed up? I'm still trying to
(05:56):
get the hang of these crutches art, let me help you. Thanks.
You know, Clara, I get this feeling that there's something
wonky about our frisbee games, like there's something much bigger
going on. Oh shoot, sorry, I got to Well, maybe
it'll make for an interesting story someday. You A wait,
we're all just stories. A reporter wouldn't know that better
(06:18):
than anyone, you son of a bitch. Now you're doing
it on purpose. Paragraph to that night at Brind's house.
Hold on, Everything up to now has just been one paragraph.
That's an unconventional writing staff for school newspaper. Clara, and
(06:39):
I should know. I am your journalism teacher. Get used
to it, Mr Nelson. US kids only know how to
communicate by text. You're lucky I give you any sentence
structure at all. As long as you're in my newspaper classroom,
you will keep your paragraphs to six sentences or less.
As I was saying, paragraph three. The estate auction at
(06:59):
Brent's house was that night, with Geffen as the auctioneer.
Next up for auction is Brian's baby shoes and her
hair from her first haircuts, being we'll start at twelve
D Do I hear und do I heart hundred and
fifty dollars sold for fourteen hundred and fifty dollars. Congratulations, Hide,
(07:23):
thank you. What are you going to do with my hair?
I didn't even really want it. I just like winning.
Next up, we have every book brand was supposed to
read in ninth grade but didn't. All of these books
are guaranteed to reflect limited points of view from a
narrow Western mindset. These titles include The Jane Eyre, Lord
of the Flies, The Catcher in the Rye, Little Women,
and The Old Man in the Sea. Do you have
two hundred dollars to put these books on your very
(07:44):
own bookshelf and not read them either? I have two
hundred from that young woman in the back. You know
my name, Geffen. Do I hear to fifty? Sorry, I've
got to take this call. Do I hear to fifty
nine hundred? This is Clara, Clara, It's Brady. Are you
at brinspor Closure party yet? Yeah? I'm in the kitchen.
Where are you the tennis court? Which one the clay
(08:05):
court or the cement court. I'm not sure. Let me
try to serve and see cement. It wasn't as much
top spin as there usually is come find me at
the tennis court. No one can know I'm here. It's
vitally important. Grady out, Oh hey, where Dexter? A member
(08:27):
of our friend group? Why aren't you inside with your
boyfriend Hid, also a member of our friend group. I'm
trying to find a gazebo so I can smoke some
clothes cigarettes. This property is huge. I'm trying to find
the tennis court. Which one clay are grass? Neither cement?
I don't know that one. Well, good luck, Britt, Just
(08:48):
who I was looking for? Where exactly is your cement
tennis court? It's not going to be mine after tonight. Clara, right,
you're losing everything. But after all, your dad did shoot
the most up Koala at the Brewster Bay Zoo. Would
it have been better if you shot the other Koala?
The one everyone thinks it's a dick? Guns don't kill
Koala's brand. People kill Koala's or often dingoes. But if
(09:12):
you're looking for an apology for me, then here it comes.
I'm sorry, and I promised to make it up to
you with these off coupons from bed Bath and Beyond. WHOA,
don't get too excited. They only applied to one item
purpurchase anyway that tennis court. It's about twenty ft that direction.
Oh yeah, there it is. I guess I'll just walk
that direction. Ready, ready, ready, huh. I'll try calling him. Hey,
(09:43):
it's Brady Brewster here. Leave a message after the tone
just kidding, here's the real tone. Where is Brady? Oh
my god, his crutches lying here on the tennis court.
But Brady can't walk anywhere without his crutches. That means
that someone must have brought an identical pair of crutches
(10:04):
and placed them here to confuse me. May I have
your attention. It's Monday morning. Welcome back to Brewster High.
Class is about to be game. That's pretty much all
you need to know. You come in a class brand
it's home economics, and you know miss Bagley does not
(10:25):
play about people being late. I know I'll see you
in there. I just have to run to the bathroom
to freshen up. I hope I don't run into any
wild animals while I'm in the bathroom. Attention Brewster High.
I forgot to mention that wild wolves are allowed to
roam free at the school, as brit is about to
find out firsthand. So I guess there was more you
needed to do. Oh my god, Principal fair Weather, Bran,
(10:56):
are you okay? A wolf just attacked me in the bathroom.
Why does the school at wolves to wander freely around campus?
I don't like it either, but the schools safer with
the wolves. It's a classic case of the lesser of
two evils. What's the other evil? Bears? Bears are the
other evil? We don't have bears around here because of
the wolves. What can we do to convince you to
get rid of them? Think of your civics class, Brian.
(11:18):
When the whole population wants something, how do the effect
change by voting you wish? Then? How about if I
write an angry op ed in the school newspaper. I
control the newspaper. So something to do with a flash mob.
I'm just gonna give it to you. It's protests. You
can stage a protest a protest, got it? Thanks, Principal
fair Weather. Be careful what you wish for. I just
(11:39):
might do that. I didn't actually wish for that, did
I What secret did Brady want to tell me on
the tennis court last night? Did he just want to
make out? And why were his crushes there, and he
did want to make out right? Are you still reading
your article to me? I thought you were done? How
(11:59):
could I be on with this article already? Mr Nelson?
There is still so much left unanswered. I lit a
bunch of fuses, but none of them have paid off yet.
Starting with where's Brady Brewster? No one has seen him
all day? And what about Brian? You want excitement, She's
about to go for a job interview to be a
part time school janitor. Anything could happen. Good morning, Brewster High.
(12:26):
It's crazy that we have feral wolves roaming the halls
at school, Like, what is this the late Pleiosocene period? Also,
Brand's interviewing for a job with the head janitor. Let's
get back to the job interview. You think you got
what it takes to join the Brewster High Cristorial staff.
I really do. I know my father has a bad reputation,
(12:48):
but it was just one misjudgment. I'm not my father.
He killed the most beloved animal at the zoo. That's
a pretty major misjudgment. How do I know that kind
of misjudgment? All is um doesn't run in the family.
Try me out. I'll be the best janitor you've ever
seen or heard. All right, fine, Frank just died, so
(13:11):
we do have an open spot, and you're about the
same size, so you can fit in his uniform. Welcome
to the student Janitor Work Study program Ms Mariskino. You
just joined a very exclusive club. Well as Groutcha Mark said,
I would never want to be a member of any
club that would have me. But what if it's a
club comprised of only very happy, fulfilled people. You got
(13:33):
a lot to learn, Ms, Mariskino, and your education starts today. Easy.
Your keys guard them with your life, right, what do
they all? Do? You really only need this one. It's
the master. The rest are just for show. I have
a question. Did you wash the uniform or did I
(13:55):
wash it? In? It? Right? Well, he drowned in the
mop water, so it had open it. Attention Brewster High students,
please report to your third period classroom if you have
Hall Mack. Your teacher is Mrs Bagley, who is the
wife of Coach Bagley. As you could guess by her
last name, I mean Dogsted next to Row. All right, everybody,
(14:18):
let's quiet down before we get into a discussion about
chapter seventeen. I want to talk to you for a
moment about your secret plan to walk out of this
class this afternoon and protest the wolf population the school protects.
And here's the thing, Principal Fairweather seems to think we
should let you have your little demonstration, But I'd like
(14:40):
you to consider both sides of this issue. Some of
us think wolves are dangerous. Life is dangerous. We can't
stop going to school or bungee jumping or test piloting
jet packs just because we're scared. We're not saying to
close the school. We're saying to get rid of the wolves.
Remember a year ago, when the local deer population was
(15:01):
out of control, it was chaos. The only logical measure
was to introduce wolves back into their ancestral hunting grounds.
And ever since, no more dear or rabbits, or puppies
or kittens or my baby also is eaten in Principal
fair Weather coming in, Sorry to interrupt, students, it's come
(15:23):
to my attention that rumors are spreading about Brady Brewster.
Nothing good can come from baseless speculation. Just give Brady
some space and time and find someone else to gossip about.
Then tell us where he is. I'm not at liberty
to share that information. Wait, you're not telling us something.
Exactly what are you hiding us? That chance is so compelling? Okay, okay,
(15:50):
I'll tell you. I didn't think brady situation was anyone's
business but his own, but perhaps the truth can serve
as a cautionary lesson to you. Brady Brewster is a
wellness resort. A few months ago, Brady told his parents
that he had become addicted to eating drugs. Mm hmmmm.
(16:11):
He was high during that terrible ultimate frisbee game. That's
why he was playing erratically and got himself injured at
the eating drugs. That Crady, You don't know the real Brady.
The drugs made him act like a warm, reliable, straight
a student. But that wasn't him. That was just the
drugs messing up his mind. The real Brady was erratic,
easily provoked, unreliable. His parents sent him away to a luxury,
(16:36):
high end health retreat to clear out a system and reboot,
plus get a ten and work on his tennis Serve
tis Well. I hope this will serve as a lesson
to you all about the dangers of eating drugs. Thank
your principal, fair Weather Well, that was a short class
justin have time to hit the main points. Okay, your
homework is to read chapters eight and fourteen. Hey Hi,
(16:58):
wait up, Hi? Hi? H what's up with him? Hey? You, Jasper,
you're on the frisbee team with Hide? Is see upset
about something off the record? Hide helps the athletes cheat
their drug test. He probably feels responsible for Brady getting
hooked on eating drugs. He was his best friend. My
(17:19):
newspaper article just got a lot more interesting. Come on, Jasper.
The wolf protest is about to start, and these wolves
won't protest themselves. Attention Brewster High. The protest against unfettered
feral wolf access is currently in progress, led by main
character Britton Maraschino. Hey, how the Timver Wolves have got
(17:43):
to go? Hey? How the Timver Wolves have got to go? Hey? Hi, Dexter,
Hold up you two? Hi? What was up your butt?
After Mrs Bagley's class, I was like, hey, I want
to talk to you, and you'd be like, no way,
I gotta get out of here. Yeah, we've been dating
all year and I've never seen you like that before. Well,
if you must know, I had a boner. What is
(18:04):
going on with you? Hide? It's not likely to get
a Boner and Mrs Bagley's class. Okay, here's the real deal,
Principal Fairweather is embrace yourself. Lying, what do you mean?
Every ultimate frisbee player eats drugs for performance enhancement, but
they're all tested before every game. It would show up.
It would show up if it was their own urine.
(18:26):
But it's not their own urine. It's mine. I sell
my own clean piss to everyone on the frisbee team.
How do you think I can afford all these great
belt buckles. I figured you inherited them from a hillbilly
great uncle or something. That's why you're always chugging hydro light.
Do I even know you? This is the real meat.
You've always looked the other way when you see one
of my expensive new belt buckles. We'll look at them now, Dexter,
(18:48):
look at them now. There's a direct line between this
belt buckle right here and sixteen leaders of clean urine.
So you feel guilty about Brady getting hurt because you
enabled his addiction. No, that's the thing, me and Brady
would clean. He's the only player who didn't buy my peet.
I don't know what Brady's at, but it isn't at
(19:08):
a wellness resort, and don't get me started about their hygiene.
These wolves treat the whole school as their own personal bathroom.
So in conclusion, let's get rid of the wolves. Also,
I'm running for homecoming queens, so both for me. Brand
mars Kino. Now I promised Principal fair Weather she could
(19:29):
say a few words. Take it away, Principal fair Weather,
Thank you, Britt. I've been listening to all of your speeches,
and I gotta say, do you make some very good points?
Starting today, wolves will no longer be welcome in the
halls of Brewster High. Coach Bagley, you're in charge of
escorting the wolves out. Not exactly trained as a wild
(19:53):
animal handler, Coach Bagley, Oh, I really hate it when
you do that with your voice. You know exactly what
I'm talking about. Do not test me today. Get rid
of the wolves. Get rid of your own damn wolves,
Principal fair Weather. I'm going to the one place that
the wolves never come, the locker room. All that teenage
(20:15):
boy yarn has marked the locker room permanently. Yep, this
locker room is totally safe. There's no way a wolf
gets in here. It's the groundings must be too many
snow caps, so much fur on the ground. These boys
shouldn't be shaving their pubs in here to stay back
(20:44):
Next time I'm Brewster High. My baby is stuck alone
in a high air balloon. I don't think you've got
what it takes to be a real reporter. I'm not
a Koala killer. I'm a Koala killer's daughter. Looks like
I'll be living with you until you retired. He is
the only one with both the hardware and the software.
You can't just scooba dive whenever you want. You have
to go during low tide. I knock yourselves up. You're
(21:06):
all ready to be parents, son of folks. This episode
of Brewster High was written by Tim Neenan and Jonathan
Stern and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by
Lelan Bowden, Owen Burke, Jordan Dahl, John Gimberling, Jared Goldstein,
Greg Hess, Peter Kim, Mike McCafferty, Veronica or SiO, Shakira,
(21:28):
Janet Pay, Dwayne Perkins, Marcus Ray, Anna, Sarah Gina Sauger, shake,
Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced by Keith Quinn
and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Franny Baldwin, Jack Brongard, Natalie
Gurgli and David Solinger. The supervising sound editor was Julie
Diaz and the sound editor was Jack de Crane. Mixed
by Brent Kaiser, sound designed and mixed at Unbridled Sound.
(21:50):
Brewster High was a production of abominable pictures and honorable
mention for I Heart Media. If you like to attend
Brewster High. Applications for the False Semester are now being accepted.
Brewster Hi, where the screw ups of today become the
leaders of tomorrow. H
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