February 14, 2023 • 20 mins
Stripping, arm wrestling, alien crystals...this high school has gone bonkers!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Previously on Brewster High. Principal fair Weather shut us down
from all of us here in the PA booth. Welcome
Brady on your first daid back to Brewster High. I
have amnesia. I don't remember anything from the past three weeks.
Everything is suspicious about it. The truth is I don't
feel comfortable dancing in public. Well ship Mr Nelson with
Principal fair Weather. I've always wanted to ship to teachers together.
(00:22):
So you and I will go around and take off
our clothes and people will just give us money. Gambling
on high school sports is illegal. Oh, it's super illegal.
(00:44):
It's been an unusual week at Brewster High. Principal fair
Weather and Mr Nelson have become romantically entangled, so now
they're off our asses. Brady and Hide have started doing
impromptu full multi performances, also known as stripping, which leaves
on a dry us the problem of Brady and his
lethargic dancing. You know, you can't judge a book by
(01:05):
its cover, except for like a recipe book that covers
probably pretty accurate. But here's the thing. The closer I
am to the mystery of what happened to Brady, the
further way I get Clara, Why are you speaking to
me like that? Sorry, brand I'm so used to dictating
into my phone that I forget how to speak conversationally. Hey,
you figure out the identity of your secret investor, Yet
(01:27):
every time I meet with him, he's disguised as charming
TV character, ted lasso, horn, stash and everything. We need
to get that mustache off of him and identify him.
I'm guessing you have a plan. Oh yeah, and I'm
guessing you will tell it to me until right before
we execute it. Correct, commundo, have your attention. A p
(01:47):
A announcement. These are always a treat all of us
here at the p A Club or pleased to present
to you a special guest p A announcer for this morning. Here.
He is our own pretty Brewster. Thank you, thank you.
I'm assuming you're all applotting right now. It's good to
be back at Brewster High right. I'm looking forward to
(02:07):
stepping back into my position as first disc boy on
the frisbee team. And now for a few more announcements.
Whoever lost the Lost and Found sign it's been recovered,
please come pick it up from Lost and Found and
then leave it there on the wall above the Lost
and found box. For those of you entering this year's
essay contest, the topic is what's a good topic for
(02:28):
an essay contest? Lastly, it's the big Ultimate Frisbee game
this weekend, PEP Rally on Friday. Then come on out
and cheer for us on Saturday, and some of US
players will want to have sex afterwards, so hang out
by the locker room if you're looking for that sort
of thing. Brady out Hey, Dexter, too late to join
(02:51):
you for lunch. Sit on down, Devin. I'm so waiting
for my kombucha decide. WHOA nice triceps? Oh? Yeah, you
noticed I've been working out. Yes, they're like totally popping
out of your sleeves. Well, I'm wearing a tank top today.
You know, I've been working out to really let's see. WHOA. Yeah,
your biceps are really popping. You're even getting some striation,
(03:12):
which is really cool. I suspect we're pretty evenly matched
when it comes to biceps. I don't know about that.
There's probably only one way that we could even figure
it out. What's that? Have you ever heard of the
ancient sport of arm wrestling. It comes from around d C.
From the first Olympics. I'm up for that. How do
you play? Do you know thumb wrestling? Well, it's kind
of like thumb wrestling, but instead of thumbs, you use
(03:34):
your arms. Okay, wait, wait, what am I supposed to
do with my face? Though? You kind of have to
scrunch it up like there's something heavy in your ass
that you're struggling to get out. Like this, you're doing
that more with your voice. I need to see it
come out through your face. Yes, that's really good. Are
you ready to go? Ready? However, be one two three
(03:57):
arm wrestling? Well, hold up, Hide? Before we walk in
to meet with our new publicists. It's someone we already know,
Brandon Marischino. What's brand doing as a publicist? Well, after
she got fired as a janitor, she needed a new job.
And if there's one thing the world needs more of
(04:18):
its publicists, Brady Hide, Come on in and sit down.
Let's see if we're a good fit. Hey, I love
your office, Thanks Brady. Let's number one about being a
publicist is creating the image of being a publicist. So
tell me more about this full Monty act of yours.
Walk me through it. Well, we go to someplace where
(04:39):
there's a lot of people. We start playing some music
to get everyone's attention, something you can grind to, like
Drake or and Shearing or Adele, And then we start
moving our bodies to it, really like grooving, you know.
Then we take off our clothes. No, this is where
it gets interesting. We remove our clothes one piece at
a time that our signature move. Okay, I think I've
(05:01):
got a good mental image. What makes you difference? We
are under age, we're still in high school. Were miners. Wow, yeah,
that is a unique angle. I can work with that.
Right now. Our main demographic is local moms, but we
want to expand from that to women who don't have kids,
for example, or like grandparents. We want this to be
the kind of show that multiple generations can enjoy together.
(05:24):
And we're hoping for more of a business business market,
you know, those corporate team building programs. Also, we're tired
of performing on street corners. We want some paying gigs indoors.
We want to level up. Here's an idea, Feel free
to use it. Jumping jack's. I was just talking about
jumping jacks. When you do jumping jack's, it'll make your
penises really flop around. Bring some real good visual energy.
(05:47):
What I'm more concerned about is how to get it,
you know, bigger not our penises. I think I can
help you now. I could put you on a late
night show like Carson or Letterman, but those are yesterday's
news and one of them is dead. What you need
is a publicity stunt, and it needs to be big
(06:10):
in front of the whole school, which means it needs
to be this weekend. That afternoon, in Brady's bedroom, Brendan
Brady had rekindled their old flame, which meant total making out.
(06:32):
We know what we're doing, Clara. Can you please stop
watching us and leave the room now? Oh? Sure, whatever
you want to see you Brady, Clara? Is this really great?
Just making out? It really is first rate? Now? So
Brady ready to agree to be my day to the
(06:53):
charity ball? You know what? Yes, I'll do it with
one caveat no dancing, but it's a ball as long
as I'm not required to dance. Like they say, dancing Queen,
you can dance. Dancing Queen also says you can jive
having the time of your life. I will, I'll jive
and I'll have the time of my life. I just
(07:14):
won't dance, okay, whatever, You're ready to make out again? Hey,
what's that? What? Where that weird crystal over there? The
one on my desk? It's hovering half a foot above
your dassel. It's just something I found in my jacket
pocket the other day when I showed up at fristbe practice.
Does it feel like what happened? It shocked me? Whoa M.
(07:38):
I'd like to borrow it. I want to take it
to the chemistry lab to analyze it. I can't understand
how it could float like that. Yeah, it's really out
of this world. Maybe that's literally true. Maybe it is
from out of this world. Is it possible that you
were abducted by aliens? I mean, I guess it's possible.
That's as likely as any other explanation where you're calling hello, listen,
(08:05):
I need your help again now? Is it not a
good time. I'm in the middle of an epic arm
wrestling match with Dexter. Forget the arm wrestling. The two
of you meet me at my house, I mean your
house right away on the tennis court, Bryan out. Meanwhile,
Clara had another meeting at the coffee shop with her
mysterious investor, get out, Clara, going, get the fuck out.
(08:27):
Coffee is up, decaf. My friends are wondering who you
really are, and to be honest, so am I. Who
I am is not important. All you should care about
is that I keep paying your substack bills. Can I
ask you for a favor? I guess I want you
to place a bet on the upcoming Ultimate Frisbee Championship game.
(08:47):
Why don't you just do it yourself? The very fact
I'm making a bet for one side will shift the odds.
Everyone assumes I know what I'm doing, so everyone else
will bet the same way and the odds will lower.
Because I want Brewster High to lose Blues. That's insane.
Now that Brady's back, there's no chance to lose. What
(09:09):
do you want me to do? Meet me at my
bank tomorrow at twelve o'clock sharp. I'll give it to
you there, Attention, Brewster High. I'm just driving around town
making mobile p announcements. I guess you could call that
local casting. Right now, I'm parked outside Geffen's house with
my binoculars. Brendan, Brady and Geffen and Dexter are meeting
(09:30):
there to look for more evidence that Brady was abducted
by a UFO. Oh shoot, there's a cop. I better move. Hey,
we'res Dexter and Geffen. Hey there they are. Hey, guys,
what's the big emergency that we had to stop arm
wrestling for brand things? I might have been abducted by
(09:51):
aliens the night of the party. And you know what, guys,
it kind of adds up here on the tennis court.
It's the last place he was seen, you know, when
you think about it, that's the only explanation. So let's
spread out and look for any clues anything UFO. Eight guys.
I think I found something. I think it's it's burn
(10:13):
marks on the ground, four of them, about twenty ft apart.
They're super deep too. I just found something too, some
sort of crystal. I've never seen anything like it. Bring
it over. Oh shoot, it shocked me. What is this thing? Everyone?
Come back group meeting. Okay, guys, we definitely have a
(10:35):
UFO situation here. I concur I second the concurrence. I
third the concurrence. The mystery solved. A UFO came and
abducted Brady for three weeks. Afterwards, they wiped his memory
and dumped him at the school gym. During frisbee practice.
Come to think of it, I do remember after I
was dropped off seeing some sort of spaceship disappear into
(10:56):
the sky. Would have been great if you mentioned that sooner. Yeah, dude,
So that's that. Now life can get back to normal. Okay,
we have to tell everyone. I agree, but we can't
undersell it. This is a big opportunity for publicity. If
we played this right, we can use it to promote
your full Monty strip show. Let's brainstorm. There are no
bad ideas? How about those three billboards outside of the
(11:16):
school good but not great? What else have you got?
One of those airplanes that trails a banner like the
ones at the beach that advertised two for on shrimp
cocktails during happy hours? I said, no bad ideas? How
about a plane that writes in the sky a skywriter?
That's what I said, I said it. I said it differently.
That's a plane with a banner, is not a skywriter.
Planes with banners are banner planes. What if his name
(11:37):
was Luke Skywriter? I have an idea. It involves a
Frisbee Championship pet rally tomorrow. The Frisbee Championship. I almost forgot.
I better go home and wax my balls. It's an
old frisbee trick, but it's also fun. Let's go talk jobs.
(12:04):
Let's go talk jobs. Good God. And that's how today
the student body of Brewster High found themselves back on
the Ultimate Frisbee Field, having a pep rally. This time, however,
it was for the season championship, so extra pep was needed. Fortunately,
extra pep was to be had because this would be
(12:25):
Brady Brewster's first game back since his alien abduction. At
this point, only a few of us know he spent
the last three weeks in the UFO, but everyone else
was about to find out. Clara, I'm begging you stop
using voiceover voice on me. Sorry, I can't turn it off. Oh,
Coach Backley's about to start the pep rally. Get psyched, Hello,
(12:48):
Booster Hum. I'm Coach Brackley. I go to a lot
of teams here at Brewster High, but the team I
care about the most, by far, is our Ultimate Frisbee team.
(13:10):
Again to settle them, shot the far out. The winner
of the Saturday's game wins the whole enchilata, the rice,
the beans, the wa the cheese, maybe some more chatta.
If you want edra hot saus, though you have to
earn it. The winning school will also there worded one
(13:31):
hundred thousand dollars to build a new trophy case, and
that money will be deducted directly from the music and
arts program Suck on that, Miss Teesdale. So we need
to take out a normal level of school spirit and
double it and after that double it again, which is why,
for the first time in Brewster High history, we have
(13:53):
our own mascot. In memory of the colala that Brims
father killing at the zoo. Our new mascot will be Mama.
Look at it brand. It's so cute. It really is Clara.
(14:16):
Even from up here at the top of the bleachers.
That Koala costume looks adorable. That mascot can really dance,
but it's like two ft tall. Who's in there, toddler?
There's no way it's a toddler. No toddler could dance
like that. You ever hear of TikTok. Something's wrong with it.
It's looking kind of woozy. Oh shit, it collapsed. It
(14:39):
must have overheated in that Kuala costume. Now the school
nurse is running out onto the field, just cutting open
the costume with garden shears inside that mascot costume is
a real Koala and it's dead. Now the nurse is
dragging the Koala carcass off the field. That wasn't exact
(15:00):
and the effect we're hoping for him. Sorry about that moment.
Let's move the team. Brince ter Hides say hello to
the first ter Hi tech jobs first our god and
now I calls and cocks and god, forget how well
(15:29):
these are all real frisbee pocisions a wave? Where are
two best players? Were Radiant Hide? I said, We're a
radiant High? What's that ohm clings? Then weather room? Maybe
(15:55):
a blip blue way to your bow to spacious it's
right here over field. Oh my god, star players and High,
(16:24):
Thank you better one. I'm so excited to be back
to be game tomorrow. But with all of you cheering
us on, we're gonna do great. Even the weaker players
like Hide. But let's get route for a moment. You're
probably wondering why we arrived here in a UFO's to
give you a visual reference while I tell you where
I've been the past three weeks. I was abducted by aliens. Now, guys,
(16:51):
this isn't the actual UFO. This is just something the
shop classed through together for today's rally. Now here's something
else to get you pumped, Hi to, I have a
little something we'd like to show you. It's called the
full Monty hit it. Check it out, Brian. They're taking
off their clothes one piece at a time. That's right.
(17:13):
Looks like they're doing jumping jacks. Yep. Just like I said,
their penises are really flopping around. Wow. I can see
their penises from all the way up here in the bleachers.
I'm more enthusiastic about Prinsbee than ever. Who thank you,
Thanks guys, thank you. We're available for weddings in mortments
(17:34):
bus just contact our publicist Brian Marichino for bookings. That's
it for today's PEP rally. But that's not all celebration
of the end of the frisbee season and to get
you all totally worked up, Principal Faretweather has proclaimed the
next twenty more hours to be an our key periods
draws until this time tomorrow everything goes. Twenty four hours later,
(18:05):
Brennan I emerged from our hiding spot to get some
coffee at our local coffee place, somehow things still don't
feel settled. It's as if I've forgotten something important, something
that might turn everything on its head. Are you still
using voice over voice, Clara? I think I'm dealing with it.
How about your mystery investor? Did you figure out who
he is? No? But something weird did happen. He asked
(18:27):
me to make a huge bed on his behalf. He's
gambling on the Ultimate Frisbee Championship and he's setting nut
will lose. Clara, we have to find out who this
guy is. When are you seeing him again? He told
me to meet him in his bank this afternoon at
four o'clock. Okay, call him up and tell him you
can't leave work and he has to meet you at
your part time job at the Loggerhead's hair salon. And
then what I have a plan, and it's going to
(18:49):
blow your mind literally next time, I'm Brewster Hide. My
body is out of control. Hello, Air Force coach Bagley.
It's called snouts because you put in your nose and
it's made from ground up pick snouts. So double that
doesn't sound like the principal Fairweather I fell in love
with two days ago. Get off my dick. I've been
(19:12):
going over and over all the details in my head,
and some things just aren't adding up. I guess the
main thing is like, there's no such thing as a
UFO cash, I mean. This episode of Brewster High was
written and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by
Owen Burg, Ali Gandor, Jared Goldstein, Greg Hess, Peter Kim,
(19:33):
Veronica Sadio, Shakira, Jane Pay, Dwayne Perkins, Marcus Ray, Anna
Saragina Sager, Shake, Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced
by Keith Quinn and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Frannie Baldwin,
Jack Brungart, Natalie Gurgley, and Dave Salinger. Music by Matt Novak,
Greg Martin and Alison Newman. The supervising sound editor was
Julie Diaz and the sound editor was Jack da Crane.
(19:55):
Mixed by Brent Keiser Sound Design and mixed it Unbridled Sound.
Brewster High was a produc action of Abominable Pictures and
honorable mention for I Heart Media. Come see me read
credits every Friday at Open Credits Night at the White
Horse Inn.
Previously on Brewster High. Principal fair Weather shut us down
from all of us here in the PA booth. Welcome
Brady on your first daid back to Brewster High. I
have amnesia. I don't remember anything from the past three weeks.
Everything is suspicious about it. The truth is I don't
feel comfortable dancing in public. Well ship Mr Nelson with
Principal fair Weather. I've always wanted to ship to teachers together.
(00:22):
So you and I will go around and take off
our clothes and people will just give us money. Gambling
on high school sports is illegal. Oh, it's super illegal.
(00:44):
It's been an unusual week at Brewster High. Principal fair
Weather and Mr Nelson have become romantically entangled, so now
they're off our asses. Brady and Hide have started doing
impromptu full multi performances, also known as stripping, which leaves
on a dry us the problem of Brady and his
lethargic dancing. You know, you can't judge a book by
(01:05):
its cover, except for like a recipe book that covers
probably pretty accurate. But here's the thing. The closer I
am to the mystery of what happened to Brady, the
further way I get Clara, Why are you speaking to
me like that? Sorry, brand I'm so used to dictating
into my phone that I forget how to speak conversationally. Hey,
you figure out the identity of your secret investor, Yet
(01:27):
every time I meet with him, he's disguised as charming
TV character, ted lasso, horn, stash and everything. We need
to get that mustache off of him and identify him.
I'm guessing you have a plan. Oh yeah, and I'm
guessing you will tell it to me until right before
we execute it. Correct, commundo, have your attention. A p
(01:47):
A announcement. These are always a treat all of us
here at the p A Club or pleased to present
to you a special guest p A announcer for this morning. Here.
He is our own pretty Brewster. Thank you, thank you.
I'm assuming you're all applotting right now. It's good to
be back at Brewster High right. I'm looking forward to
(02:07):
stepping back into my position as first disc boy on
the frisbee team. And now for a few more announcements.
Whoever lost the Lost and Found sign it's been recovered,
please come pick it up from Lost and Found and
then leave it there on the wall above the Lost
and found box. For those of you entering this year's
essay contest, the topic is what's a good topic for
(02:28):
an essay contest? Lastly, it's the big Ultimate Frisbee game
this weekend, PEP Rally on Friday. Then come on out
and cheer for us on Saturday, and some of US
players will want to have sex afterwards, so hang out
by the locker room if you're looking for that sort
of thing. Brady out Hey, Dexter, too late to join
(02:51):
you for lunch. Sit on down, Devin. I'm so waiting
for my kombucha decide. WHOA nice triceps? Oh? Yeah, you
noticed I've been working out. Yes, they're like totally popping
out of your sleeves. Well, I'm wearing a tank top today.
You know, I've been working out to really let's see. WHOA. Yeah,
your biceps are really popping. You're even getting some striation,
(03:12):
which is really cool. I suspect we're pretty evenly matched
when it comes to biceps. I don't know about that.
There's probably only one way that we could even figure
it out. What's that? Have you ever heard of the
ancient sport of arm wrestling. It comes from around d C.
From the first Olympics. I'm up for that. How do
you play? Do you know thumb wrestling? Well, it's kind
of like thumb wrestling, but instead of thumbs, you use
(03:34):
your arms. Okay, wait, wait, what am I supposed to
do with my face? Though? You kind of have to
scrunch it up like there's something heavy in your ass
that you're struggling to get out. Like this, you're doing
that more with your voice. I need to see it
come out through your face. Yes, that's really good. Are
you ready to go? Ready? However, be one two three
(03:57):
arm wrestling? Well, hold up, Hide? Before we walk in
to meet with our new publicists. It's someone we already know,
Brandon Marischino. What's brand doing as a publicist? Well, after
she got fired as a janitor, she needed a new job.
And if there's one thing the world needs more of
(04:18):
its publicists, Brady Hide, Come on in and sit down.
Let's see if we're a good fit. Hey, I love
your office, Thanks Brady. Let's number one about being a
publicist is creating the image of being a publicist. So
tell me more about this full Monty act of yours.
Walk me through it. Well, we go to someplace where
(04:39):
there's a lot of people. We start playing some music
to get everyone's attention, something you can grind to, like
Drake or and Shearing or Adele, And then we start
moving our bodies to it, really like grooving, you know.
Then we take off our clothes. No, this is where
it gets interesting. We remove our clothes one piece at
a time that our signature move. Okay, I think I've
(05:01):
got a good mental image. What makes you difference? We
are under age, we're still in high school. Were miners. Wow, yeah,
that is a unique angle. I can work with that.
Right now. Our main demographic is local moms, but we
want to expand from that to women who don't have kids,
for example, or like grandparents. We want this to be
the kind of show that multiple generations can enjoy together.
(05:24):
And we're hoping for more of a business business market,
you know, those corporate team building programs. Also, we're tired
of performing on street corners. We want some paying gigs indoors.
We want to level up. Here's an idea, Feel free
to use it. Jumping jack's. I was just talking about
jumping jacks. When you do jumping jack's, it'll make your
penises really flop around. Bring some real good visual energy.
(05:47):
What I'm more concerned about is how to get it,
you know, bigger not our penises. I think I can
help you now. I could put you on a late
night show like Carson or Letterman, but those are yesterday's
news and one of them is dead. What you need
is a publicity stunt, and it needs to be big
(06:10):
in front of the whole school, which means it needs
to be this weekend. That afternoon, in Brady's bedroom, Brendan
Brady had rekindled their old flame, which meant total making out.
(06:32):
We know what we're doing, Clara. Can you please stop
watching us and leave the room now? Oh? Sure, whatever
you want to see you Brady, Clara? Is this really great?
Just making out? It really is first rate? Now? So
Brady ready to agree to be my day to the
(06:53):
charity ball? You know what? Yes, I'll do it with
one caveat no dancing, but it's a ball as long
as I'm not required to dance. Like they say, dancing Queen,
you can dance. Dancing Queen also says you can jive
having the time of your life. I will, I'll jive
and I'll have the time of my life. I just
(07:14):
won't dance, okay, whatever, You're ready to make out again? Hey,
what's that? What? Where that weird crystal over there? The
one on my desk? It's hovering half a foot above
your dassel. It's just something I found in my jacket
pocket the other day when I showed up at fristbe practice.
Does it feel like what happened? It shocked me? Whoa M.
(07:38):
I'd like to borrow it. I want to take it
to the chemistry lab to analyze it. I can't understand
how it could float like that. Yeah, it's really out
of this world. Maybe that's literally true. Maybe it is
from out of this world. Is it possible that you
were abducted by aliens? I mean, I guess it's possible.
That's as likely as any other explanation where you're calling hello, listen,
(08:05):
I need your help again now? Is it not a
good time. I'm in the middle of an epic arm
wrestling match with Dexter. Forget the arm wrestling. The two
of you meet me at my house, I mean your
house right away on the tennis court, Bryan out. Meanwhile,
Clara had another meeting at the coffee shop with her
mysterious investor, get out, Clara, going, get the fuck out.
(08:27):
Coffee is up, decaf. My friends are wondering who you
really are, and to be honest, so am I. Who
I am is not important. All you should care about
is that I keep paying your substack bills. Can I
ask you for a favor? I guess I want you
to place a bet on the upcoming Ultimate Frisbee Championship game.
(08:47):
Why don't you just do it yourself? The very fact
I'm making a bet for one side will shift the odds.
Everyone assumes I know what I'm doing, so everyone else
will bet the same way and the odds will lower.
Because I want Brewster High to lose Blues. That's insane.
Now that Brady's back, there's no chance to lose. What
(09:09):
do you want me to do? Meet me at my
bank tomorrow at twelve o'clock sharp. I'll give it to
you there, Attention, Brewster High. I'm just driving around town
making mobile p announcements. I guess you could call that
local casting. Right now, I'm parked outside Geffen's house with
my binoculars. Brendan, Brady and Geffen and Dexter are meeting
(09:30):
there to look for more evidence that Brady was abducted
by a UFO. Oh shoot, there's a cop. I better move. Hey,
we'res Dexter and Geffen. Hey there they are. Hey, guys,
what's the big emergency that we had to stop arm
wrestling for brand things? I might have been abducted by
(09:51):
aliens the night of the party. And you know what, guys,
it kind of adds up here on the tennis court.
It's the last place he was seen, you know, when
you think about it, that's the only explanation. So let's
spread out and look for any clues anything UFO. Eight guys.
I think I found something. I think it's it's burn
(10:13):
marks on the ground, four of them, about twenty ft apart.
They're super deep too. I just found something too, some
sort of crystal. I've never seen anything like it. Bring
it over. Oh shoot, it shocked me. What is this thing? Everyone?
Come back group meeting. Okay, guys, we definitely have a
(10:35):
UFO situation here. I concur I second the concurrence. I
third the concurrence. The mystery solved. A UFO came and
abducted Brady for three weeks. Afterwards, they wiped his memory
and dumped him at the school gym. During frisbee practice.
Come to think of it, I do remember after I
was dropped off seeing some sort of spaceship disappear into
(10:56):
the sky. Would have been great if you mentioned that sooner. Yeah, dude,
So that's that. Now life can get back to normal. Okay,
we have to tell everyone. I agree, but we can't
undersell it. This is a big opportunity for publicity. If
we played this right, we can use it to promote
your full Monty strip show. Let's brainstorm. There are no
bad ideas? How about those three billboards outside of the
(11:16):
school good but not great? What else have you got?
One of those airplanes that trails a banner like the
ones at the beach that advertised two for on shrimp
cocktails during happy hours? I said, no bad ideas? How
about a plane that writes in the sky a skywriter?
That's what I said, I said it. I said it differently.
That's a plane with a banner, is not a skywriter.
Planes with banners are banner planes. What if his name
(11:37):
was Luke Skywriter? I have an idea. It involves a
Frisbee Championship pet rally tomorrow. The Frisbee Championship. I almost forgot.
I better go home and wax my balls. It's an
old frisbee trick, but it's also fun. Let's go talk jobs.
(12:04):
Let's go talk jobs. Good God. And that's how today
the student body of Brewster High found themselves back on
the Ultimate Frisbee Field, having a pep rally. This time, however,
it was for the season championship, so extra pep was needed. Fortunately,
extra pep was to be had because this would be
(12:25):
Brady Brewster's first game back since his alien abduction. At
this point, only a few of us know he spent
the last three weeks in the UFO, but everyone else
was about to find out. Clara, I'm begging you stop
using voiceover voice on me. Sorry, I can't turn it off. Oh,
Coach Backley's about to start the pep rally. Get psyched, Hello,
(12:48):
Booster Hum. I'm Coach Brackley. I go to a lot
of teams here at Brewster High, but the team I
care about the most, by far, is our Ultimate Frisbee team.
(13:10):
Again to settle them, shot the far out. The winner
of the Saturday's game wins the whole enchilata, the rice,
the beans, the wa the cheese, maybe some more chatta.
If you want edra hot saus, though you have to
earn it. The winning school will also there worded one
(13:31):
hundred thousand dollars to build a new trophy case, and
that money will be deducted directly from the music and
arts program Suck on that, Miss Teesdale. So we need
to take out a normal level of school spirit and
double it and after that double it again, which is why,
for the first time in Brewster High history, we have
(13:53):
our own mascot. In memory of the colala that Brims
father killing at the zoo. Our new mascot will be Mama.
Look at it brand. It's so cute. It really is Clara.
(14:16):
Even from up here at the top of the bleachers.
That Koala costume looks adorable. That mascot can really dance,
but it's like two ft tall. Who's in there, toddler?
There's no way it's a toddler. No toddler could dance
like that. You ever hear of TikTok. Something's wrong with it.
It's looking kind of woozy. Oh shit, it collapsed. It
(14:39):
must have overheated in that Kuala costume. Now the school
nurse is running out onto the field, just cutting open
the costume with garden shears inside that mascot costume is
a real Koala and it's dead. Now the nurse is
dragging the Koala carcass off the field. That wasn't exact
(15:00):
and the effect we're hoping for him. Sorry about that moment.
Let's move the team. Brince ter Hides say hello to
the first ter Hi tech jobs first our god and
now I calls and cocks and god, forget how well
(15:29):
these are all real frisbee pocisions a wave? Where are
two best players? Were Radiant Hide? I said, We're a
radiant High? What's that ohm clings? Then weather room? Maybe
(15:55):
a blip blue way to your bow to spacious it's
right here over field. Oh my god, star players and High,
(16:24):
Thank you better one. I'm so excited to be back
to be game tomorrow. But with all of you cheering
us on, we're gonna do great. Even the weaker players
like Hide. But let's get route for a moment. You're
probably wondering why we arrived here in a UFO's to
give you a visual reference while I tell you where
I've been the past three weeks. I was abducted by aliens. Now, guys,
(16:51):
this isn't the actual UFO. This is just something the
shop classed through together for today's rally. Now here's something
else to get you pumped, Hi to, I have a
little something we'd like to show you. It's called the
full Monty hit it. Check it out, Brian. They're taking
off their clothes one piece at a time. That's right.
(17:13):
Looks like they're doing jumping jacks. Yep. Just like I said,
their penises are really flopping around. Wow. I can see
their penises from all the way up here in the bleachers.
I'm more enthusiastic about Prinsbee than ever. Who thank you,
Thanks guys, thank you. We're available for weddings in mortments
(17:34):
bus just contact our publicist Brian Marichino for bookings. That's
it for today's PEP rally. But that's not all celebration
of the end of the frisbee season and to get
you all totally worked up, Principal Faretweather has proclaimed the
next twenty more hours to be an our key periods
draws until this time tomorrow everything goes. Twenty four hours later,
(18:05):
Brennan I emerged from our hiding spot to get some
coffee at our local coffee place, somehow things still don't
feel settled. It's as if I've forgotten something important, something
that might turn everything on its head. Are you still
using voice over voice, Clara? I think I'm dealing with it.
How about your mystery investor? Did you figure out who
he is? No? But something weird did happen. He asked
(18:27):
me to make a huge bed on his behalf. He's
gambling on the Ultimate Frisbee Championship and he's setting nut
will lose. Clara, we have to find out who this
guy is. When are you seeing him again? He told
me to meet him in his bank this afternoon at
four o'clock. Okay, call him up and tell him you
can't leave work and he has to meet you at
your part time job at the Loggerhead's hair salon. And
then what I have a plan, and it's going to
(18:49):
blow your mind literally next time, I'm Brewster Hide. My
body is out of control. Hello, Air Force coach Bagley.
It's called snouts because you put in your nose and
it's made from ground up pick snouts. So double that
doesn't sound like the principal Fairweather I fell in love
with two days ago. Get off my dick. I've been
(19:12):
going over and over all the details in my head,
and some things just aren't adding up. I guess the
main thing is like, there's no such thing as a
UFO cash, I mean. This episode of Brewster High was
written and directed by Jonathan Stern. It was performed by
Owen Burg, Ali Gandor, Jared Goldstein, Greg Hess, Peter Kim,
(19:33):
Veronica Sadio, Shakira, Jane Pay, Dwayne Perkins, Marcus Ray, Anna
Saragina Sager, Shake, Amy Silverberg, and Morgan Walsh. Executive produced
by Keith Quinn and Jonathan Stern. Produced by Frannie Baldwin,
Jack Brungart, Natalie Gurgley, and Dave Salinger. Music by Matt Novak,
Greg Martin and Alison Newman. The supervising sound editor was
Julie Diaz and the sound editor was Jack da Crane.
(19:55):
Mixed by Brent Keiser Sound Design and mixed it Unbridled Sound.
Brewster High was a produc action of Abominable Pictures and
honorable mention for I Heart Media. Come see me read
credits every Friday at Open Credits Night at the White
Horse Inn.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.