#39: How I OVERCAME Pornography

On episode 39, Tim responds to a question from a listener who is looking for advice on how Tim stopped engaging with pornography.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Welcome into episode thirty nine of Bring Heaven Down. My
name is Tim and I'm the host of this daily
devotional podcast that comes out Monday through Friday on iHeartRadio
or wherever you are listening to this podcast. Make sure
you hit that subscribe button wherever you are listening so

(00:21):
this podcast will show up in your feet and rate
and review the show if you're willing, so that we
can get this podcast more exposure and bring Jesus into
more living rooms, cars, wherever people listen to podcasts. I'm
excited about today's topic as I am about every day,
because it truly is a blessing to talk about Jesus
on a podcast Monday through Friday. But what makes today

(00:46):
especially special is I've encouraged you, as listeners to email
the show Bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail dot
com if you have a question, if you have a comment,
And recently I've received a few emails. I received an
email about truth and love and the episode I did

(01:09):
on episode number thirty four from a listener that respectfully
disagrees with me that I'm going to get to in
a little bit. I'm still forming ideas and responses from
other people that I really rely on. And there's another
email I received just the other day from Angela, and

(01:32):
she said, can you do this as a potential topic?
And as I look at what her email says, the
topic is pornography and I would be glad to go
more in depth with pornography. And at one point in
time it was a struggle for me. It no longer is.

(01:57):
But the question that she wants to know is basically,
how did he overcome it? Do you have any tips
or ideas on what else you could do or encourage
others to cut it off? Turn it off? All right?

(02:18):
So that's what we're gonna talk about today. Grab your
favorite drink or cup of coffee, and let's bring Heaven
a little closer together, all right? This is what Angela writes, Hi, Tim,
oh hey, I remember you sharing in a previous episode

(02:39):
about pornography and your past struggles. And unfortunately it is
so easy to get addicted to, especially nowadays as it
is so readily available and so many people look at
it on their phones. Someone I know and love is
struggling with it, seventeen year old high school boy. They
have talked with the pastor their dad and are praying

(03:03):
on it. However, the addiction is so strong and they
find themselves looking at it again. You overcame this. Do
you have any tips or ideas on what else they
can be doing to cut it off for good? I
think this could help a lot of people. Thank you
again for all you do. I'm thankful God bless you
with this talent of creating a platform such as this

(03:24):
to reach so many Sincerely, Angela. PS. Thank you so
much for your episode on Pride Month. It was very helpful.
All right, So there's a couple of different things I
want to talk about. First, Pornography is practically a problem

(03:46):
for all men, especially, and pornography for high school guys,
middle school guys, college guys, married guys is a big problem.
And pornography addiction is real. If you are a parent

(04:08):
of a middle school or a high school boy, I'm sorry,
but the odds are likely that your son has dabbled
and seen pornography, and you look at the odds and
the odds. I just heard from someone the other day,

(04:33):
the report Teens in Pornography found that seventy three percent
of teenagers respondents age thirteen to seventeen have watched pornography online.
So as a parent, I want you to be aware
of just how common pornography is, specifically among men, but

(04:57):
women too. So talk with their son, talk with your
people around you, because we have seen this through youth
group as well. We have seen less boys interested in
coming to youth group because, let's be honest and appeal

(05:20):
to youth group for a guy is also to be
around women and talk to girls and develop crushes and
maybe a potential relationship. And that's always been something that
guys have gravitated towards the youth group, and in our
youth ministry we have seen less guys attend because in

(05:46):
their minds, why would they attend if they could sit
in their room and look at a naked girl on
their phone. The accessibility to pornography is a click away
and it is a huge problem. So that's number one.

(06:06):
I want parents to be aware of just how dangerous
a cell phone is. So if you're a parent that
gives a phone to a middle school boy or a
boy younger than that, the odds are going to be
likely that eventually, maybe they haven't yet, but they are

(06:30):
going to dabble in pornography. It is so easy to
tell yourself, oh yeah, this will be my last time,
and then you're sitting in your room by yourself board. Okay,
one more time because that used to be me. Okay,
I'm done watching pornography. I know this isn't Christian. I
know this isn't right. How about one more time and

(06:51):
then next time I'll stop. And I stopped when I
was in engaged to my wife in late April. I
can still remember exactly what was happening. I did not
stop when I was first engaged to my now wife.

(07:14):
I stopped late April, and it was an ongoing discussion.
She knew it was a struggle for me, and I
have never engaged with pornography while being married with my wife.
I stopped late April, haven't engaged with it since of
two thousand and twenty one. And we got married June

(07:36):
fifth of twenty twenty one. And here's how I suddenly stopped.
There's a Bible verse that says this, But I tell
you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has
already committed adultery with her in his heart. That's Matthew
five twenty eight, and in my wife's mind, which is

(08:03):
one hundred percent right and accurate. When I looked at pornography,
it made her feel less attractive, less wanted. It made
her feel like she wasn't providing what I was looking for.

(08:24):
It made her feel less than Because I was engaging
with pornography while we were engaged, and my wife and
I did not have premarital sex. We were both virgin
to tell we were married, and that was a very

(08:45):
intentional decision before we met. So while we met, while
we were engaged, and when I looked at pornography, it
made her feel less than. And when you are single,
or even when you're engaged, you don't always think about
your sin that way, meaning you don't always think about

(09:10):
how your sin impacts those people around you. You think
it just affects yourself, but the truth is it doesn't.
Our sin impacts those around us, and pornography impacts the

(09:31):
ones we love the most, whether you've met them or haven't,
Meaning if you are a high school boy or a
middle school boy or girl and you are engaging with pornography,
eventually you're going to have to tell your wife or

(09:51):
girlfriend or fiance that you once had a pornography problem
and hopefully don't anymore when you meet them and when
you tell them that, that is going to create a
game of comparison in their mind and in your mind,

(10:15):
because the expectations shift when you engage with pornography in
your mind and the person you loved mind, because in
their mind, they're like, uh, oh, can I live up
to this? Or I'm less than what they've been watching

(10:40):
for years. So when you think about our sin and
the way it impacts those around us, it is a huge,
huge thing, way more than we could ever really anticipate
because oh, it just affects me, It just it doesn't

(11:02):
it affects those we'd love the most. And when I
revealed to my wife or my fiance now wife, but
my fiance when it was an issue, that it was
a struggle and I was having a problem with it,
and I saw the tears streamed down her face, and

(11:25):
I saw the impact that my problem had on her,
the person that I love the most. The Good Lord
through the Holy Spirit, completely closed off any interest with

(11:47):
pornography since that moment, since we had that talk in
late April twenty twenty one, and I told her and
she was crying so hard and was so sad and
disappointed because it made her feel less than the Holy

(12:09):
Spirit worked in my heart, and I have not had
an ounce of interest in engaging with pornography. So the
way that I would encourage others to stop is to
think about how much your sin impacts those around you.

(12:34):
Because when we think about how much impacts us, I
think that sometimes we can fall into well, I know
it's only impacting me, and I can deal with it.
But when you see how your sin impacts those around you,
and you see the tears on their face and their sadness,

(12:54):
and you realize that it was me that caused that,
that's a different game. That's a different feeling. And to
realize that my sin caused her tears, that's a different game,

(13:15):
or entering a different stratosphere of emotion and of realness.
Because my job as a leader, the man is the
leader it's supposed to be to protect. And when your
sin is not protecting the woman you love the most,

(13:36):
then you're not protecting and you're not doing your job.
You're failing. And that's what I was doing at that moment.
So although the seventeen year old is not married yet,
his sin is impacting his future wife, and there will

(14:00):
be tears and there will be hard discussions to have
that he probably isn't even thinking about yet or understanding
that's going to happen. So that would be my advice.
Our sin impacts those around us, and when you see

(14:21):
how much it impacts those around us, it's a different game.
And the Holy Spirit thankfully worked in my heart and
said you're done. And I haven't done it since, haven't
even looked at pictures. Nothing. So that's my story. And

(14:41):
thank you for the email. Angela. If anyone has a question,
maybe it's something I've said you disagree with, maybe it's
a topic. I welcome it all, bring it. I don't
get offended by questions. I don't get sensitive about this stuff.
It's all real and I love this stuff. I love questions,

(15:04):
I love sharpening each other. I love talking about it.
So thank you for the question. If you have a question,
bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail dot com. H everyone,
Thank you for choosing Jesus today and I hope and
pray that the Holy Spirit revealed more and more about
our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Thank you for going

(15:25):
on this podcasting journey along with me.