#82: Conflict (Listener Email)

On episode #82, Tim responds to an email question from a listener on how to handle conflict with a co-worker.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome into episode number eighty two of Bring Heaven Down.
My name is Tim and I'm the host of this
daily devotional podcast that shows up in your feed Monday
through Friday. Make sure you hear that follow button so
this podcast shows up in your feed as often as
it is released, and rate and review the show if
you're willing to do that as well. Today we are
answering a listener question. So if you have a question,

(00:28):
a comment, something you want this podcast to discuss a topic,
email the show Bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail
dot com. That's Bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail
dot com. We're gonna answer questions this morning, so grab

(00:48):
your favorite drink or a cup of coffee and let's
bring Heaven a little closer together. This question and email
comes from Jason says, this good morning. I love your
daily devotionals. I have a coworker that seems to nitpick

(01:12):
everything my coworkers and myself do, which is anything from
words we say to getting honest about wearing a seat
built to speeding. Just wondering if and what scripture there
is about an issue like this. I would love to
hear your thoughts. Thanks and God bless you. Thank you, Jason.

(01:34):
I appreciate that good question. And as I was preparing
for this, it's not a situation where you could search
into Google. Hey, my coworker's bothering me, nitpicking everything I
do into Google, and Google is going to give several
responses on what the Bible has to say about a

(01:56):
coworker nitpicking you, And maybe it does. I haven't checked,
but there's a few instances that I can think of
in the Bible that would discuss a specific situation like this,
And one of the instances I think of is praying
for your enemies. In Matthew chapter five Versus forty four,

(02:20):
it says, but I tell you love your enemies and
pray for those who persecute you. That's as challenging a
verse as any verse is in the Bible, because our
natural inclination is to push our enemies away, Hate our enemies,

(02:44):
be disgusted by our enemies, be frustrated with our enemies.
And how many of us pray for those who persecute you?
I mean, this is anti society. This is the exact
opposite of our natural instincts. But I tell you love

(03:07):
your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. This
is mind blowing radical stuff. So that's where I would start.
Another area that I think of is self reflection. And
I think about his email and it says which is anything

(03:27):
from words we say to getting honest about wearing a
seat belt to speeding. I would self reflect. I don't
know what words you say that get nitpicked, but I
would look in the mirror and analyze objectively to see
if my words do need to change, to see if

(03:50):
my coworker does have a valid point in there somewhere,
and if they don't have any valid points. After you
self reflect, then I would consider approaching the coworker similarly
to the way that Jesus approached people in the Bible

(04:12):
when there's conflict. Not many times throughout the Bible do
you see Jesus enter a situation and call people idiots
or dumb and completely lose his temper. There's one instance
where Jesus gets righteously angry when he walks into the

(04:34):
temple and flips over tables, but that was unusual. When
sin first entered the world, God was walking through the
garden and he didn't call Adam and Eve dumb, you idiots.
You ruined everything. You walked into the garden and asked
a question, where are you? What have you done? Adam

(04:56):
and Eve ruined God's perfect creation, and his first instinct
was not to call them every name of the book,
but rather ask a simple question, what are you doing?
Where are you going? And then I think about when
Jesus appeared to saw apostle Paul and a vision as

(05:17):
Saul was on the road to Damascus persecuting Christians and
killing him. Jesus shows up in his dream and again
doesn't yell at him, doesn't call him an idiot, doesn't
say you're stupid, doesn't kill him, says Saul, Saul, why
are you persecuting me? Jesus's responses are very level headed,

(05:43):
and if you're feeling bold and you're willing to do it,
I would approach your coworker with a level headed response
and ask simple questions, why are you nitpicking this? Why
are you commenting to me about wearing a seatbelt or speeding?
And you could even take a step further. You could say, hey, coworker,

(06:08):
I know it's not your intention to nitpick or get
honest about wearing a seatbelt or speeding, but it's really
starting to annoy my coworker and I, and you have
to word that very specifically. You have to start it
out with this. I know it's not your intention to

(06:30):
do it, but here is what's happening. And you don't
raise your voice. You don't get defensive, because then they're
gonna get defensive and it's gonna be a war of defensiveness.
You just simply say, I know it's not your intention
to do this, but hey, this is what's happening, and
it's kind of bothersome and hopefully they respond well. And

(06:53):
if they don't, you've approached it through prayer, You've approached
it with a level headed mind. You've approached it with
a calm demeanor. You haven't called them names, and if
they don't receive that, well, then you can look back
on the situation and know that you handled it appropriately

(07:16):
and maturely. So that's how I would handle that situation.
Thank you for choosing Jesus today, and thank you for
the email. Jason. If you have a question, email the
show Bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail dot com.
That's Bring Heaven Down number seven at gmail dot com.