March 16, 2025 • 17 mins
We're adding a little extra content to help you get over the Sunday Scaries!
One of our listeners set up a simple agreement with his girlfriend... and now all her friends are calling him the WORST boyfriend ever. Is he being reasonable or crossing the line?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Anybody can date, but having a true, healthy partnership takes communication. Yes,
it takes honesty. Absolutely, it takes a reinforced steel cage
that your husband couldn't possibly escape for Oh no, wait, sorry,
I'm reading the marriage contract. Brooke made her husband's side.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Did I live it on the desk again?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
My bad?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I didn't mean to pick that up. But bottom line,
we all want a healthy, balanced, equal relationship and that's
exactly why one of our listeners set up a simple
agreement with his girlfriend, and now he's wondering why all
of his girlfriend's pals are saying to dump him. Oh,
we're gonna find out if he's being reasonable or actually
crossing the line in a brand new am I the
(00:49):
jerk that's coming up next, Brooke. How much control do
women have over their friends relationships?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm going to go with none.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Really.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
I don't mean there's a little bit of influence, but honestly,
we usually just grid our teeth through whatever terrible relationship
they're in, and then when they finally break up, they're.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Like, oh, that's so sad. Then we don't really mean it.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I was assuming that you have definitely gone to
most of your friend group at some point and said,
in your classic Brook tone, oh honey, no, you need
to dump that zero god because I'm one hundred satisfied
with my relationship. Just hold on for a second.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
My golf.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Don't make yourself your own dinner.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Yeah, your fantasies of me are very strange.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's really far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
From too accurate, a little too close to home. I
just I thought you guys have a lot of pull
because we do.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
We try to.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Support each other unless they're the ones.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
If you're like, if Alexis came to me and was like,
oh my god, I hate this guy, I'd be like,
I hate him.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
That's the question.
Speaker 7 (02:01):
Do we want a solution or do we just want
to ran?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I can tell you as a man, it can feel
scary when you think that your girlfriend's social circle is
turning against you, when you can feel it kind of happening.
And that's what made one of our listeners email us
for help. His name is Jonah. Okay, he agreed to
be a part of Am I the Jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Today a while.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So let's welcome Jonah to the show. Jonah, how's it going?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Hey, I'm doing all right? How are you guys doing good.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I'm in the middle. I don't know if I want
to be nice to you yet.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
He sounds like a nice guy so far.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
You do Actually, now, is your girlfriend buddies with Brooke?
Because if so, you're starting in a hole already.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
But God, I hope not.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Tell us. What's going on with you and your relationship?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Well, my girlfriend and I we've been together about a
year now.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Okay, that's always a tricky time, you know, like do
you say, do you go? Like you know, yeah, you're
getting It's a transition point in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's like ten years, like.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, yeah, exactly to set long term habits and stuff.
Early on, when we first started seeing each other, we'd
spend the night with each other maybe like once a week,
sometimes at my place, sometimes at her place.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
That seems pretty healthy, that's.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Normal, yeah, right, But these last few months now, as
we've been getting closer, she's been staying over at my
apartment a lot more like I'm talking four or five
nights a week.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oha, like in your room or out on the couch.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
In my room?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Did she do that like slowly move in, move you know,
when first it's a toothbrush, then it's maybe, honey, can
I have a drawer?
Speaker 7 (03:35):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
There's a whole new dresser in here somehow.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Wait a minute, everything's real rage.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Wait, maybe you guys have met.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay, so she's spending more more time over at your
place now exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, and it's totally fine, don't get me wrong. I
love it. And she has a roommate at her place,
so being at mine, let's just be alone and stuff.
So that's great, right, you're a better situation.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So that, I mean that explains why she's always at
your place and you're not at hers.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So what's the issue.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Uh, The issue is that every since she's been staying
over my place more, I've noticed that my utility bills
have all gone way up.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
Oh like the water and electricity.
Speaker 8 (04:12):
And yes, thank you for telling everyone what utilities are, garbage, gas,
the whole list.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
We cover them.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's pretty good. Okay. Do you think it's her fault?
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Yeah, for sure. I mean in the best way possible,
saying that she really liked her hot showers and she
loves to cook. I got gas stove and she's always cold,
so the heater is on anytime she's over in my place.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Well, it makes sense that. I mean, you have two
people living there instead of one.
Speaker 9 (04:43):
This is like when my friends come with live with
me for two months.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Yeah, you know, hey, I almost boomed into a place
that was so strict. Day said, you can't have that
many guests because we don't want you to take the
utilities away from other people.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
What's expensive.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
It kind of comes with the terrorists though, right, Yeah,
I'm in a little bit.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Sure. It gets pretty pricey, and I guess my budget
didn't have that factored in. I didn't really know it
was going to be an issue until it was okay.
I was trying to think of solutions that were fair.
So I asked her maybe she could just drop me
four dollars for every night that she stays over, just
to kind of off that off those older costs.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Four dollars per night she's over at your place.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, huh. I didn't think it was a big deal.
It seemed fair.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Did you bring that up to her? Yeah, yeah, A
weird way to do it, it is. Yeah, what was her
reaction when you said that?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I mean, you know, she took a minute to think
about it, but she ended up agreeing. She was like, yeah,
I guess this makes sense, and it's okay, it's not
a big deal. It's only four bucks here in there.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
But I mean, but it adds up like twenty bucks
a week. That's twenty bucks a month.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I mean it does. She's going to be basically living
on my place, and I think it's fair.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But she said, you said she agreed to it.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She did, Yeah, she agreed to it, and everything was great.
The problem like I would tell her sometimes before we
go to bed, hey, don't forget that four buck venmo.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
And it just feels like such a nickel and dime
type of situation.
Speaker 7 (06:09):
In his defense, what if there's a week she only
comes twice, then she is not gonna have to.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Do the you're gonna tell her right before bet yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Good night hunting, don't forget I mean, I can't think
of more unsexy time in bed.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Sure, but it's not just before that either. I should
also mentioned that. And this is where the real problem
comes in. One morning, I left for work and she
hadn't sent the four bucks yet, so I just left
her a cute little note saying, hey, baby, I'll see
you later. Don't forget the four dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Right, It's like she's dating a bill collector.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You money.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Well, this is the thing. That morning when I left
her the note and I went to work, I guess
her friends came over while I was at work and
they saw the note and they started saying it was
a bill. And now they're all in my girlfriend's ears
that I'm super cheap and that like, is she really
sure that I'm the guy that she wants to marry
if I'm charging her four dollars to stay in my place?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And like, here's the problem, Okay, here's.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I don't think it's that serious, So living with me.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You know, her friends are now saying that you're a
cheap guy. What is your girlfriend's opinion?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Starting to side with them a little bit, you guys
were saying earlier, you know how you can just feel it.
I can feel it.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I have a feeling that it was the nagging even,
you know, like maybe she said okay and then she
didn't realize really what she was signing up for.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I think what makes it sound kind of cheap is
the fact that you're billing her just four dollars per time.
Maybe if you get a flat monthly rate, like check
up flat sixty dollars a month, I.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Think the whole thing sounds cheap, right, that's a personality
thing too.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So your girlfriend was okay with paying the four dollars
a month at first, or sorry, don't you dare? Yeah,
four dollars a month would have been very reasonable, four
dollars per night she stays over. But since her friend's
gotten her ear now she's more upset with you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, ever since her friend saw your bill on the table,
I said, she woke up to your notes.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
So are you worried that maybe the relationship is starting
to turn?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Well, there's that aspect of it, But I'm also like
it's double sided because if things don't turn, if we
keep going and everything's great, Yeah, but if we get
married one day and we buy a house, and then
what she doesn't want to have to contribute anything?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Does Does she still live in the apartment, is only
staying at the house every few nights.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
But I'm sure she contributes in other ways.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
She pays her own rent right now, buying food, taking you, like,
splitting bills out to dinner, you know, like you stayed
at her place and she didn't charge you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, she's not very financially savvy. Clearly, someone needs to
be You're wondering, though, Jonah, if you're the jerk in
this situation for charging your girlfriend four dollars per night
that she stays over, or.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
When you say it like that, it sounds like I'm
definitely a jerk.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I'm glad you're self aware that.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
How do you want me to say it?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Maybe we say, am I a jerk for expecting my
girl to pitch in on the utilities?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay when she is causing them to go up?
Speaker 7 (09:18):
More specific, charge my girlfriend four dollars every single time
she steps it? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Maybe what you say, I'm open to changing the amount?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Okay, okay, so generous texting to seven eight five nine two.
If you think Jonah is the jerk or not in
this scenario, We're gonna come back. We'll read some of
your texts and take some palls even when we continue.
Am I the jerk? Right after this text into seven
eighty five nine to two says only four bucks a
night bro in this economy, raise that up to seven
(09:49):
girls got to pay her way. That's from jose B. No,
there's so many jose B's out there. I'm sure it's
one of the other ones.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Not this It isn't a green bubbles Just like.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Jose Boon, stop texting in but if you're just joining us.
We're in the middle of a segment called am I
the Jerk, where one of our listeners, Jonah, shared his
relationship issue because his girlfriend frequently spends the night over
at his place and he noticed his utility bill go
way up whenever she did. So, to be fair, he
asked his girlfriend if she could pay just four dollars
(10:24):
per night that she stays over to even it out. Yeah. Now,
at the start, she was cool with it, happy to
pay the money, but then she talked to her girlfriends
after they found a bill sitting.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I think you'll leave you out all the nagging that
he did every day as well, Jeffrey like.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Reminding you know, it's called reminding, yes, And now his
girlfriend is pissed about it. So we got a lot
of texts coming into seven eighty five, nine to two.
A few others. One says total cheap. Oh, writing's on
the wall. I'd get out of that relationship so fast
you wouldn't even see the cloud of dust behind me.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Wow, that's a little hard feel about that, buddy.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I'm not sure he's talking about me or my girlfriend
being cheap.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No good point, very nice. Another text says, I'm married
with three kids and this is a great idea. I'm
gonna start charging my teenager two dollars a day for
cleaning and utilities. If they don't pay by the end
of the month, evicted.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I think they're probably getting grip changing them.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
They're probably joking, but maybe not. Jonah. What's your reaction
to the feedback that we're getting.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I mean, for the person that has kids, I think
that's a great life lesson. Kids should know that things
lost money.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Let's not turn this into a parenting thing. We're barely
into a year long relationship for you.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Let's stick with that. Yeah, we're trying to figure out
is Jonah the jerk for charging his girlfriend a little
bit extra for using the utilities and causing them to
go up. And we've got some callers who are on
the phone right now wanting to weigh in and give
their two cents. Let's go to Olivia first. Olivia talk
to Jonah here. Do you think he's the jerk?
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I definitely agree with her friends.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
He's being like a total jerk about this.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh really, Yeah, why do you think.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
That there goes your hello, Olivia, Jonah.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
If he's doing this now, it's just like a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
What's he going to start charging you for next?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Like toilet paper?
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Cowl?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I mean she brings up a good point, Jonah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Does she? Because I agree it is a slippery slope.
If she gets to come over and use all my
gas and you know, all the electricity and everything, and
I'm just expected to pay for it, I think that's
the slippery slope too.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But here's the thing. You act like.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Your girlfriend doesn't contribute at all in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She doesn't aside from the four dollars that I.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Asked for, she doesn't do anything for you.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Well, I don't know what you mean by anything for me.
I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Does she cook for you?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Does she drives?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Does she read you bedtime stories?
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
All of those things are true. But I also do
all of those things. The only thing that's different between
us is, hey, any of the bills.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Okay, alexis what would you do if you're the friend
who walked in and saw the bill on the table
saying you owe your boyfriend four dollars? How would you react?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Okay. I mean there's a red a green flag.
Speaker 9 (13:16):
I think the green flag is you will have money
in the future.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Saving it it. Maybe your money.
Speaker 9 (13:21):
That flag isn't your money. Yeah, maybe you would like
rip off someone else.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And then so what is your stance. You would support
your girlfriend in paying or you would tell her no,
get out of there.
Speaker 9 (13:33):
I mean I would to tell her to you know,
could she like negotiate, like by dinner or something instead,
That's what opinion.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
She would wait to see what her girlfriend felt and
then back on anything your girlfriend said.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Good friend Alexis was the wrong person.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Jonah, why don't you just stay over at her house
more often?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
We have a roommate and she doesn't what she wants
to be there very often because she's always asking to
come to my play. I love how he or over.
I don't want you to think that I disliked this
or something. I love it. It's just a matter of finance.
It's hard for me to afford all the time.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, maybe have your girlfriend and her roommate over and
you can charge the roommate as part of the firrid.
Then it seems that the.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
Hey, so I' just got fifty per off their bills.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, it's called compromise. We have more people that want
to talk to you here, though, Jonah, let's speak to Sarah.
Do you think that Jonah is the jerk in the situation?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Well, it's crazy that you're talking about this because this
actually happened to me with my husband, like back when
we were dating.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Really, wait, you charged him or he charged you for utilities.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
So he was charging me little fees for all kinds
of things. It was utilities. Are you know if we
took a long road trip, it's the gas. Like, it
was a little fee for everything. And at first I
was kicked off. I was like, dude, what are you
doing with this?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah? Requests?
Speaker 6 (14:55):
So I came up with what I think is a
very creative way that we kind of ended the whole
kit for tat deal.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Okay, really, what did you come up with?
Speaker 6 (15:06):
So I started charging my then boyfriend now husband an
intimacy fee.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I'm guessing it was more than four dollars.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I mean it was really dis to prove a point,
right right services render?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
You prostituted yourself to your own boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
I mean, you put it like that, But.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
How long did that last? How long was he paying
like a week, and then when you're saying.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
He dropped all fees after that, and then.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
I didn't hear anything else about another and they haven't
been intimate in eight years.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Is that helpful for you? Jonah, you want to pass
that along to your girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Not at all. No, I'm my girlfriend intimacy bill from
the intimacy company, but I'll get a gas bill from
the gas company.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
We should call that intimacy company and see what they're doing.
I love your logic. It's just so pure, man. So
we're running short on time here. We've been tallying up
the text board at seven eighty five nine two. What
our listeners are saying. According to them, Jonah, you are
the jerk in this situation. You should not be charging
(16:24):
your bill.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Friend.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Did you hear him? I think you got to give
it up, my man, I will say.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It's actually closer than I thought. Sixty seven percent said
you're the jerk, So there's a lot of people who
are still on your side.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
It was close to half. We'll go with half.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It's not happen. If you're that good at math, you
know that's not half. I mean, you just you just
got away. What's more important? Your four dollars or the love.
Speaker 9 (16:47):
Of your life and maybe a good time to mention
you're gonna have to buy her friend's dinner to make
up to them, just like problem.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Cool, there's something forward to Okay, thank yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I forgot to remind you, Jonah, we are charged
and am I the Jerk fee, So we're going to
send you that bill. We'll send you a reminder to venmoas.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Okay, are we charging protects because that would be great?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, seven dollars per text. Okay, yeah, he hung up. Okay,
he's gone anyway, that's am I the Jerk. It's Brooke
and Jeffrey in the morning.
Anybody can date, but having a true, healthy partnership takes communication. Yes,
it takes honesty. Absolutely, it takes a reinforced steel cage
that your husband couldn't possibly escape for Oh no, wait, sorry,
I'm reading the marriage contract. Brooke made her husband's side.
Speaker 2 (00:23):
Did I live it on the desk again?
Speaker 3 (00:26):
My bad?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I didn't mean to pick that up. But bottom line,
we all want a healthy, balanced, equal relationship and that's
exactly why one of our listeners set up a simple
agreement with his girlfriend, and now he's wondering why all
of his girlfriend's pals are saying to dump him. Oh,
we're gonna find out if he's being reasonable or actually
crossing the line in a brand new am I the
(00:49):
jerk that's coming up next, Brooke. How much control do
women have over their friends relationships?
Speaker 2 (00:57):
I'm going to go with none.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Really.
Speaker 4 (00:59):
I don't mean there's a little bit of influence, but honestly,
we usually just grid our teeth through whatever terrible relationship
they're in, and then when they finally break up, they're.
Speaker 2 (01:08):
Like, oh, that's so sad. Then we don't really mean it.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
Yeah, I was assuming that you have definitely gone to
most of your friend group at some point and said,
in your classic Brook tone, oh honey, no, you need
to dump that zero god because I'm one hundred satisfied
with my relationship. Just hold on for a second.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
My golf.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
Don't make yourself your own dinner.
Speaker 5 (01:39):
Yeah, your fantasies of me are very strange.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Yeah, it's not.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
That's really far.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
From too accurate, a little too close to home. I
just I thought you guys have a lot of pull
because we do.
Speaker 6 (01:52):
We try to.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Support each other unless they're the ones.
Speaker 4 (01:54):
If you're like, if Alexis came to me and was like,
oh my god, I hate this guy, I'd be like,
I hate him.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
That's the question.
Speaker 7 (02:01):
Do we want a solution or do we just want
to ran?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
I can tell you as a man, it can feel
scary when you think that your girlfriend's social circle is
turning against you, when you can feel it kind of happening.
And that's what made one of our listeners email us
for help. His name is Jonah. Okay, he agreed to
be a part of Am I the Jerk.
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Today a while.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
So let's welcome Jonah to the show. Jonah, how's it going?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Hey, I'm doing all right? How are you guys doing good.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
I'm in the middle. I don't know if I want
to be nice to you yet.
Speaker 2 (02:32):
He sounds like a nice guy so far.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
You do Actually, now, is your girlfriend buddies with Brooke?
Because if so, you're starting in a hole already.
Speaker 3 (02:40):
But God, I hope not.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
Tell us. What's going on with you and your relationship?
Speaker 3 (02:46):
Well, my girlfriend and I we've been together about a
year now.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Okay, that's always a tricky time, you know, like do
you say, do you go? Like you know, yeah, you're
getting It's a transition point in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's like ten years, like.
Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, yeah, exactly to set long term habits and stuff.
Early on, when we first started seeing each other, we'd
spend the night with each other maybe like once a week,
sometimes at my place, sometimes at her place.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
That seems pretty healthy, that's.
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Normal, yeah, right, But these last few months now, as
we've been getting closer, she's been staying over at my
apartment a lot more like I'm talking four or five
nights a week.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Oha, like in your room or out on the couch.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
In my room?
Speaker 4 (03:27):
Did she do that like slowly move in, move you know,
when first it's a toothbrush, then it's maybe, honey, can
I have a drawer?
Speaker 7 (03:35):
Now?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
There's a whole new dresser in here somehow.
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Wait a minute, everything's real rage.
Speaker 3 (03:39):
Wait, maybe you guys have met.
Speaker 1 (03:42):
Okay, so she's spending more more time over at your
place now exactly.
Speaker 3 (03:46):
Yeah, and it's totally fine, don't get me wrong. I
love it. And she has a roommate at her place,
so being at mine, let's just be alone and stuff.
So that's great, right, you're a better situation.
Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (03:55):
So that, I mean that explains why she's always at
your place and you're not at hers.
Speaker 3 (03:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
So what's the issue.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Uh, The issue is that every since she's been staying
over my place more, I've noticed that my utility bills
have all gone way up.
Speaker 7 (04:08):
Oh like the water and electricity.
Speaker 8 (04:12):
And yes, thank you for telling everyone what utilities are, garbage, gas,
the whole list.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
We cover them.
Speaker 1 (04:25):
That's pretty good. Okay. Do you think it's her fault?
Speaker 6 (04:28):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (04:28):
Yeah, for sure. I mean in the best way possible,
saying that she really liked her hot showers and she
loves to cook. I got gas stove and she's always cold,
so the heater is on anytime she's over in my place.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
Well, it makes sense that. I mean, you have two
people living there instead of one.
Speaker 9 (04:43):
This is like when my friends come with live with
me for two months.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Yeah, you know, hey, I almost boomed into a place
that was so strict. Day said, you can't have that
many guests because we don't want you to take the
utilities away from other people.
Speaker 2 (04:55):
What's expensive.
Speaker 1 (04:56):
It kind of comes with the terrorists though, right, Yeah,
I'm in a little bit.
Speaker 3 (05:00):
Sure. It gets pretty pricey, and I guess my budget
didn't have that factored in. I didn't really know it
was going to be an issue until it was okay.
I was trying to think of solutions that were fair.
So I asked her maybe she could just drop me
four dollars for every night that she stays over, just
to kind of off that off those older costs.
Speaker 1 (05:20):
Four dollars per night she's over at your place.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
Yeah, huh. I didn't think it was a big deal.
It seemed fair.
Speaker 1 (05:26):
Did you bring that up to her? Yeah, yeah, A
weird way to do it, it is. Yeah, what was her
reaction when you said that?
Speaker 3 (05:34):
I mean, you know, she took a minute to think
about it, but she ended up agreeing. She was like, yeah,
I guess this makes sense, and it's okay, it's not
a big deal. It's only four bucks here in there.
Speaker 4 (05:43):
But I mean, but it adds up like twenty bucks
a week. That's twenty bucks a month.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I mean it does. She's going to be basically living
on my place, and I think it's fair.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
But she said, you said she agreed to it.
Speaker 3 (05:54):
She did, Yeah, she agreed to it, and everything was great.
The problem like I would tell her sometimes before we
go to bed, hey, don't forget that four buck venmo.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
And it just feels like such a nickel and dime
type of situation.
Speaker 7 (06:09):
In his defense, what if there's a week she only
comes twice, then she is not gonna have to.
Speaker 2 (06:13):
Do the you're gonna tell her right before bet yeah.
Speaker 5 (06:16):
Good night hunting, don't forget I mean, I can't think
of more unsexy time in bed.
Speaker 3 (06:25):
Sure, but it's not just before that either. I should
also mentioned that. And this is where the real problem
comes in. One morning, I left for work and she
hadn't sent the four bucks yet, so I just left
her a cute little note saying, hey, baby, I'll see
you later. Don't forget the four dollars.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
Right, It's like she's dating a bill collector.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
You money.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Well, this is the thing. That morning when I left
her the note and I went to work, I guess
her friends came over while I was at work and
they saw the note and they started saying it was
a bill. And now they're all in my girlfriend's ears
that I'm super cheap and that like, is she really
sure that I'm the guy that she wants to marry
if I'm charging her four dollars to stay in my place?
Speaker 1 (07:08):
And like, here's the problem, Okay, here's.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
I don't think it's that serious, So living with me.
Speaker 1 (07:13):
You know, her friends are now saying that you're a
cheap guy. What is your girlfriend's opinion?
Speaker 3 (07:19):
Starting to side with them a little bit, you guys
were saying earlier, you know how you can just feel it.
I can feel it.
Speaker 4 (07:25):
I have a feeling that it was the nagging even,
you know, like maybe she said okay and then she
didn't realize really what she was signing up for.
Speaker 1 (07:32):
I think what makes it sound kind of cheap is
the fact that you're billing her just four dollars per time.
Maybe if you get a flat monthly rate, like check
up flat sixty dollars a month, I.
Speaker 5 (07:44):
Think the whole thing sounds cheap, right, that's a personality
thing too.
Speaker 1 (07:48):
So your girlfriend was okay with paying the four dollars
a month at first, or sorry, don't you dare? Yeah,
four dollars a month would have been very reasonable, four
dollars per night she stays over. But since her friend's
gotten her ear now she's more upset with you.
Speaker 2 (08:04):
Yeah, ever since her friend saw your bill on the table,
I said, she woke up to your notes.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
So are you worried that maybe the relationship is starting
to turn?
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Well, there's that aspect of it, But I'm also like
it's double sided because if things don't turn, if we
keep going and everything's great, Yeah, but if we get
married one day and we buy a house, and then
what she doesn't want to have to contribute anything?
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Does Does she still live in the apartment, is only
staying at the house every few nights.
Speaker 2 (08:34):
But I'm sure she contributes in other ways.
Speaker 5 (08:39):
She pays her own rent right now, buying food, taking you, like,
splitting bills out to dinner, you know, like you stayed
at her place and she didn't charge you.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, she's not very financially savvy. Clearly, someone needs to
be You're wondering, though, Jonah, if you're the jerk in
this situation for charging your girlfriend four dollars per night
that she stays over, or.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
When you say it like that, it sounds like I'm
definitely a jerk.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
I'm glad you're self aware that.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
How do you want me to say it?
Speaker 3 (09:09):
Maybe we say, am I a jerk for expecting my
girl to pitch in on the utilities?
Speaker 2 (09:15):
Okay?
Speaker 1 (09:15):
Okay when she is causing them to go up?
Speaker 7 (09:18):
More specific, charge my girlfriend four dollars every single time
she steps it? Now?
Speaker 3 (09:23):
Maybe what you say, I'm open to changing the amount?
Speaker 1 (09:25):
Okay, okay, so generous texting to seven eight five nine two.
If you think Jonah is the jerk or not in
this scenario, We're gonna come back. We'll read some of
your texts and take some palls even when we continue.
Am I the jerk? Right after this text into seven
eighty five nine to two says only four bucks a
night bro in this economy, raise that up to seven
(09:49):
girls got to pay her way. That's from jose B. No,
there's so many jose B's out there. I'm sure it's
one of the other ones.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
Not this It isn't a green bubbles Just like.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Jose Boon, stop texting in but if you're just joining us.
We're in the middle of a segment called am I
the Jerk, where one of our listeners, Jonah, shared his
relationship issue because his girlfriend frequently spends the night over
at his place and he noticed his utility bill go
way up whenever she did. So, to be fair, he
asked his girlfriend if she could pay just four dollars
(10:24):
per night that she stays over to even it out. Yeah. Now,
at the start, she was cool with it, happy to
pay the money, but then she talked to her girlfriends
after they found a bill sitting.
Speaker 4 (10:36):
I think you'll leave you out all the nagging that
he did every day as well, Jeffrey like.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Reminding you know, it's called reminding, yes, And now his
girlfriend is pissed about it. So we got a lot
of texts coming into seven eighty five, nine to two.
A few others. One says total cheap. Oh, writing's on
the wall. I'd get out of that relationship so fast
you wouldn't even see the cloud of dust behind me.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
Wow, that's a little hard feel about that, buddy.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
I'm not sure he's talking about me or my girlfriend
being cheap.
Speaker 1 (11:04):
No good point, very nice. Another text says, I'm married
with three kids and this is a great idea. I'm
gonna start charging my teenager two dollars a day for
cleaning and utilities. If they don't pay by the end
of the month, evicted.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I think they're probably getting grip changing them.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
They're probably joking, but maybe not. Jonah. What's your reaction
to the feedback that we're getting.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
I mean, for the person that has kids, I think
that's a great life lesson. Kids should know that things
lost money.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Let's not turn this into a parenting thing. We're barely
into a year long relationship for you.
Speaker 1 (11:42):
Let's stick with that. Yeah, we're trying to figure out
is Jonah the jerk for charging his girlfriend a little
bit extra for using the utilities and causing them to
go up. And we've got some callers who are on
the phone right now wanting to weigh in and give
their two cents. Let's go to Olivia first. Olivia talk
to Jonah here. Do you think he's the jerk?
Speaker 6 (12:01):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:01):
I definitely agree with her friends.
Speaker 6 (12:02):
He's being like a total jerk about this.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
Oh really, Yeah, why do you think.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
That there goes your hello, Olivia, Jonah.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
If he's doing this now, it's just like a slippery slope.
Speaker 3 (12:13):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:14):
What's he going to start charging you for next?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Like toilet paper?
Speaker 5 (12:17):
Cowl?
Speaker 3 (12:18):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:18):
Yeah, I mean she brings up a good point, Jonah.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Does she? Because I agree it is a slippery slope.
If she gets to come over and use all my
gas and you know, all the electricity and everything, and
I'm just expected to pay for it, I think that's
the slippery slope too.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
But here's the thing. You act like.
Speaker 4 (12:36):
Your girlfriend doesn't contribute at all in your relationship.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
She doesn't aside from the four dollars that I.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Asked for, she doesn't do anything for you.
Speaker 3 (12:45):
Well, I don't know what you mean by anything for me.
I'm talking about.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Does she cook for you?
Speaker 2 (12:52):
Does she drives?
Speaker 1 (12:54):
Does she read you bedtime stories?
Speaker 7 (12:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (12:57):
All of those things are true. But I also do
all of those things. The only thing that's different between
us is, hey, any of the bills.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Okay, alexis what would you do if you're the friend
who walked in and saw the bill on the table
saying you owe your boyfriend four dollars? How would you react?
Speaker 2 (13:14):
Okay. I mean there's a red a green flag.
Speaker 9 (13:16):
I think the green flag is you will have money
in the future.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Saving it it. Maybe your money.
Speaker 9 (13:21):
That flag isn't your money. Yeah, maybe you would like
rip off someone else.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
And then so what is your stance. You would support
your girlfriend in paying or you would tell her no,
get out of there.
Speaker 9 (13:33):
I mean I would to tell her to you know,
could she like negotiate, like by dinner or something instead,
That's what opinion.
Speaker 4 (13:41):
She would wait to see what her girlfriend felt and
then back on anything your girlfriend said.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
Good friend Alexis was the wrong person.
Speaker 2 (13:50):
Jonah, why don't you just stay over at her house
more often?
Speaker 3 (13:53):
We have a roommate and she doesn't what she wants
to be there very often because she's always asking to
come to my play. I love how he or over.
I don't want you to think that I disliked this
or something. I love it. It's just a matter of finance.
It's hard for me to afford all the time.
Speaker 1 (14:06):
Yeah, maybe have your girlfriend and her roommate over and
you can charge the roommate as part of the firrid.
Then it seems that the.
Speaker 7 (14:14):
Hey, so I' just got fifty per off their bills.
Speaker 1 (14:16):
Yeah, it's called compromise. We have more people that want
to talk to you here, though, Jonah, let's speak to Sarah.
Do you think that Jonah is the jerk in the situation?
Speaker 6 (14:25):
Well, it's crazy that you're talking about this because this
actually happened to me with my husband, like back when
we were dating.
Speaker 4 (14:33):
Really, wait, you charged him or he charged you for utilities.
Speaker 6 (14:37):
So he was charging me little fees for all kinds
of things. It was utilities. Are you know if we
took a long road trip, it's the gas. Like, it
was a little fee for everything. And at first I
was kicked off. I was like, dude, what are you
doing with this?
Speaker 1 (14:54):
Yeah? Requests?
Speaker 6 (14:55):
So I came up with what I think is a
very creative way that we kind of ended the whole
kit for tat deal.
Speaker 1 (15:03):
Okay, really, what did you come up with?
Speaker 6 (15:06):
So I started charging my then boyfriend now husband an
intimacy fee.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I'm guessing it was more than four dollars.
Speaker 4 (15:20):
I mean it was really dis to prove a point,
right right services render?
Speaker 1 (15:24):
You prostituted yourself to your own boyfriend.
Speaker 6 (15:28):
I mean, you put it like that, But.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
How long did that last? How long was he paying
like a week, and then when you're saying.
Speaker 2 (15:40):
He dropped all fees after that, and then.
Speaker 6 (15:42):
I didn't hear anything else about another and they haven't
been intimate in eight years.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Is that helpful for you? Jonah, you want to pass
that along to your girlfriend?
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Not at all. No, I'm my girlfriend intimacy bill from
the intimacy company, but I'll get a gas bill from
the gas company.
Speaker 1 (16:04):
We should call that intimacy company and see what they're doing.
I love your logic. It's just so pure, man. So
we're running short on time here. We've been tallying up
the text board at seven eighty five nine two. What
our listeners are saying. According to them, Jonah, you are
the jerk in this situation. You should not be charging
(16:24):
your bill.
Speaker 3 (16:24):
Friend.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Did you hear him? I think you got to give
it up, my man, I will say.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
It's actually closer than I thought. Sixty seven percent said
you're the jerk, So there's a lot of people who
are still on your side.
Speaker 3 (16:36):
It was close to half. We'll go with half.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
It's not happen. If you're that good at math, you
know that's not half. I mean, you just you just
got away. What's more important? Your four dollars or the love.
Speaker 9 (16:47):
Of your life and maybe a good time to mention
you're gonna have to buy her friend's dinner to make
up to them, just like problem.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
Cool, there's something forward to Okay, thank yeah.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I forgot to remind you, Jonah, we are charged
and am I the Jerk fee, So we're going to
send you that bill. We'll send you a reminder to venmoas.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Okay, are we charging protects because that would be great?
Speaker 1 (17:06):
Yeah, seven dollars per text. Okay, yeah, he hung up. Okay,
he's gone anyway, that's am I the Jerk. It's Brooke
and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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