August 28, 2024 • 7 mins
Tinder is fun, but the dates don’t always work out, and can sometimes be really… really bad. Two of our listeners battle HEAD-to-HEAD to see who has the most tragic dating life!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Two hopeless daters, one dating app.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Then there's you guys, swipe right. The question is whose
love life is more tragic.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's the dating game
show that has a pilot eject button for the loser.
Oh so, get ready for a scream in edition of
Battle of the Tender Dates, where two of our listeners
go head to head to find out whose dating life
is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just
a second. First, let's meet today's contestants in this corner.
(00:33):
Even when he gets bad service at a restaurant, he
still tips thirty percent, then leaves and lights a small
fire in the alley behind the kitchen like a gentleman.
Meet big Flame, James, he died. We always have a
lighters in gasoline on hand, James. Or Yeah, And in
(00:54):
the other corner, his ideal first date is living through
a global apocalypse that wipes out O humanity, making it
his responsibility to repopulate the entire earth meat fertile Kyle.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Hello, Hello, Hello Kyle.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We were so close there for a second. You know
I'm talking to I think I just got pregnant. Well,
how the game works? One contestant is going to start
by telling one of their worst dating stories. Then the
other will try and counter with a nightmare story of
their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds,
and afterwards we will declare a winner. Big Flame James
kick us off.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So I went ice dating with this girl.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Okay, that's cute.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It was both our first time ever.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Try again, Not so cute.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
It's like Bambi out there. What if he needs to
know to be able to hold the other one up? Yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
So she offered to put my phone in her wallet,
in my watching and my stuff in her purse, and
she put it inside of a locker.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
That's smart.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So we get on the ice and it turns out
she's really good at ice skating.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
On the first try, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
The first so I'm slipping and fall in the middle.
I see her doing a figure eight over twelve lockers.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Y truth here, But this is the worst part.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
When she gets to the lockers, she steals my stuff
and just waves goodbye to me. No, you can't get
over there.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Well she she kind of earned it. Fertile Kyle, can
you count her?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, I went out with this girl and she immediately
invited me over to her place, which and it turns
out she lives with her parents.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that prior.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
She didn't mention that, but I was surprised, but I
stayed really ok. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And then right.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Before bed, she told me if we want to hook up,
they wouldn't be able to hear us if we went
into this dirty, unfinished crawl space under the house.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh gosh, it's like hook up. Den. Here's a decision
that you have to make.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, I I did it. I said, yes?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Was it worth it?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
It was the filthiest walk of shame ever.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Round to James.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah, I did a candle making class for like our
first day. When you start, they let you picked a cent.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Okay, I picked vanilla vanilla.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
When my date got act with since she wanted to
pick she wanted it to smell like her last boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh do they have that in the array? Yeah, vanilla hazelnut.
Your ex tears. That's what she said out loud.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Out loud, like to the person who acts. And then
after that, this is the craziest part. She took a
lock of hair from her purse and acts that they
could bake it into a candle for her.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Oh god, did it smell good hair? Probably surprising.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Good.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Okay, that is awful, Kyle got to hit back.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
All right. I just had a tandard dinner date with
this girl, and then I paid for her uber to
get back to her apartment.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Okay, classic Jose move.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I look at the tracker and I see that it
takes a detour for a moment, but then it gets
back on track.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
It's a little bit creepy that you're watching you're out, But.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Okay, I'm making sure she gets home.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just wait for the text.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
But all right, but then it gets weirder when I'm
charged to a fee.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I thought it was, you know, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
She puked in the back and they were charging me
for the clean up. It turns out she picked up
another guy and started hooking up in the back seat.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
What can you see that on.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
The little icon?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Does it change?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
No wonder? Alexis's uber bill is always so high. It's
around three. This is their final round. Need to be
your best stories, gentlemen. What do you got, James?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
So I'm gonna girls who volunteers at the Humane Society? Oh,
she like me to come meet her there before our
dinner day signs. She comes out holding a cat. Okay, okay,
and she filled out an application under my name and
adopted a.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Cat for me.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Oh your cat.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Apparently the shelter had too many kittens, so she said
she was using lonely tender guys as candidates to come
take them.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
That's a different definition of cat fishing.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Somebody did, what did you name your cat?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I didn't take the cat, Terrible Kyle, last chance go okay?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I matched with what I thought was a real life
model on Tinder.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay. Already.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
By way through our date, she told me she has
this big gig coming up, and she asked me if
she could is showing me her poses? Okay, obviously I
say yes.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Even if she's not great at it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Who does She puts her fingers in her mouth, go
on and opens her lips up wide.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yes, I'm listening.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Okay. Well, I was like, what's going on? She says
she does dentistry. Magazine shoots, Oh she's a professional gum model.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wow wow.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Jefferys still like and continue, do next?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Final bell? That means the match is over. We have
to score this, Alexis I'm gonna go James for the
girl with the ex boyfriend candles one for big blame James, Brooke,
I feel bad for James.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I go James for getting robbed.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Congratulations big flame, James. You have a dating life that
makes Jose feel good about being Yeah, I didn't think
I'll go without one. That's Battle of the Tinder dates.
Phone tap right after
Speaker 1 (07:03):
That, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
Two hopeless daters, one dating app.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Then there's you guys, swipe right. The question is whose
love life is more tragic.
Speaker 3 (00:11):
It's Battle of the Tinder Dates. It's the dating game
show that has a pilot eject button for the loser.
Oh so, get ready for a scream in edition of
Battle of the Tender Dates, where two of our listeners
go head to head to find out whose dating life
is the most tragic. We'll explain the rules in just
a second. First, let's meet today's contestants in this corner.
(00:33):
Even when he gets bad service at a restaurant, he
still tips thirty percent, then leaves and lights a small
fire in the alley behind the kitchen like a gentleman.
Meet big Flame, James, he died. We always have a
lighters in gasoline on hand, James. Or Yeah, And in
(00:54):
the other corner, his ideal first date is living through
a global apocalypse that wipes out O humanity, making it
his responsibility to repopulate the entire earth meat fertile Kyle.
Speaker 1 (01:09):
Hello, Hello, Hello Kyle.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
We were so close there for a second. You know
I'm talking to I think I just got pregnant. Well,
how the game works? One contestant is going to start
by telling one of their worst dating stories. Then the
other will try and counter with a nightmare story of
their own. We're going back and forth for three rounds,
and afterwards we will declare a winner. Big Flame James
kick us off.
Speaker 1 (01:29):
So I went ice dating with this girl.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Okay, that's cute.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It was both our first time ever.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Try again, Not so cute.
Speaker 3 (01:37):
It's like Bambi out there. What if he needs to
know to be able to hold the other one up? Yeah,
that's true.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
So she offered to put my phone in her wallet,
in my watching and my stuff in her purse, and
she put it inside of a locker.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
That's smart.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
So we get on the ice and it turns out
she's really good at ice skating.
Speaker 3 (01:56):
On the first try, yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:57):
The first so I'm slipping and fall in the middle.
I see her doing a figure eight over twelve lockers.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Y truth here, But this is the worst part.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
When she gets to the lockers, she steals my stuff
and just waves goodbye to me. No, you can't get
over there.
Speaker 3 (02:18):
Well she she kind of earned it. Fertile Kyle, can
you count her?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Okay, I went out with this girl and she immediately
invited me over to her place, which and it turns
out she lives with her parents.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that prior.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
She didn't mention that, but I was surprised, but I
stayed really ok. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
And then right.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
Before bed, she told me if we want to hook up,
they wouldn't be able to hear us if we went
into this dirty, unfinished crawl space under the house.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Oh gosh, it's like hook up. Den. Here's a decision
that you have to make.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
Well, I I did it. I said, yes?
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Was it worth it?
Speaker 2 (03:05):
It was the filthiest walk of shame ever.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Round to James.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Yeah, I did a candle making class for like our
first day. When you start, they let you picked a cent.
Speaker 3 (03:19):
Okay, I picked vanilla vanilla.
Speaker 1 (03:22):
When my date got act with since she wanted to
pick she wanted it to smell like her last boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (03:27):
Oh do they have that in the array? Yeah, vanilla hazelnut.
Your ex tears. That's what she said out loud.
Speaker 1 (03:39):
Out loud, like to the person who acts. And then
after that, this is the craziest part. She took a
lock of hair from her purse and acts that they
could bake it into a candle for her.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Oh god, did it smell good hair? Probably surprising.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Good.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
Okay, that is awful, Kyle got to hit back.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
All right. I just had a tandard dinner date with
this girl, and then I paid for her uber to
get back to her apartment.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Okay, classic Jose move.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Keep going.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
I look at the tracker and I see that it
takes a detour for a moment, but then it gets
back on track.
Speaker 3 (04:18):
It's a little bit creepy that you're watching you're out, But.
Speaker 2 (04:21):
Okay, I'm making sure she gets home.
Speaker 3 (04:24):
Just wait for the text.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
But all right, but then it gets weirder when I'm
charged to a fee.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
I thought it was, you know, maybe.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
She puked in the back and they were charging me
for the clean up. It turns out she picked up
another guy and started hooking up in the back seat.
Speaker 1 (04:44):
What can you see that on.
Speaker 3 (04:46):
The little icon?
Speaker 1 (04:47):
Does it change?
Speaker 3 (04:48):
No wonder? Alexis's uber bill is always so high. It's
around three. This is their final round. Need to be
your best stories, gentlemen. What do you got, James?
Speaker 1 (04:59):
So I'm gonna girls who volunteers at the Humane Society? Oh,
she like me to come meet her there before our
dinner day signs. She comes out holding a cat. Okay, okay,
and she filled out an application under my name and
adopted a.
Speaker 2 (05:17):
Cat for me.
Speaker 3 (05:18):
Oh your cat.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Apparently the shelter had too many kittens, so she said
she was using lonely tender guys as candidates to come
take them.
Speaker 3 (05:31):
That's a different definition of cat fishing.
Speaker 2 (05:33):
Somebody did, what did you name your cat?
Speaker 3 (05:37):
I didn't take the cat, Terrible Kyle, last chance go okay?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I matched with what I thought was a real life
model on Tinder.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay. Already.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
By way through our date, she told me she has
this big gig coming up, and she asked me if
she could is showing me her poses? Okay, obviously I
say yes.
Speaker 3 (06:05):
Even if she's not great at it.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
Who does She puts her fingers in her mouth, go
on and opens her lips up wide.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
Yes, I'm listening.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Okay. Well, I was like, what's going on? She says
she does dentistry. Magazine shoots, Oh she's a professional gum model.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Wow wow.
Speaker 3 (06:30):
Jefferys still like and continue, do next?
Speaker 2 (06:35):
All right?
Speaker 3 (06:35):
Final bell? That means the match is over. We have
to score this, Alexis I'm gonna go James for the
girl with the ex boyfriend candles one for big blame James, Brooke,
I feel bad for James.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I go James for getting robbed.
Speaker 3 (06:48):
Congratulations big flame, James. You have a dating life that
makes Jose feel good about being Yeah, I didn't think
I'll go without one. That's Battle of the Tinder dates.
Phone tap right after
Speaker 1 (07:03):
That, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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