July 9, 2025 • 7 mins
Tinder is fun, but the dates don’t always work out, and can sometimes be really… really bad. Two of our listeners battle HEAD-to-HEAD to see who has the most tragic dating life in our segment, Battle of the Tinder Dates!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Two hopeless one dating app then dares right. The question
is whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle Love
the Tinder Dates.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's the dating game show that encourages you to ask
yourself WWSD, what would Snookie do? That's the type of
decision making we need for Battle of the Tinder Dates,
where two of our listeners go head to head to
find out whose dating life is the most tragic. We're
gonna explain the rules in just a second, but first
let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, her ideal first
(00:36):
date is to get tipsy with a foreign dignitary and
accidentally leak confidential secrets of national security to them over
a late night burrito Wow to meet treason.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Eden Ah, that's how World War one started, Thank.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You for that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And in the other corner, she challenges you to name
any car that she hasked on top of or thrown
up inside of, and trust me, you're not gonna be
able to do it. That's why they call her party Carly.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah, Carly, maybe you could give Alexis a recommendation on
what cleaner to use.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yes, But here's how the game works. One contestant is
going to start by telling one of their worst dating
stories than the other were trying to counter with a
nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and
forth for three rounds here, and then afterwards we will
declare a winner. We're gonna kick things off first with
treeson Eden.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Go. Okay. So I had a date with a guy
who was like a finance brotype. Oh okay. He was
going off about crypto and how I should as right,
I forget the name, maybe lama coin, or I'll pack
a coin or done.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
That sounds legit, so like you could just.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Put any animal in front of coin and then it
probably actually exists. So I was like sure, and he
showed me how to set up an account and I
bought some. Oh no, well, five days later it's shot
up in value and instead of only two hundred dollars,
where I like, oh, two thousands.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
A bad date, It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The thing is I texted him to thank him, and
he said he just bought an island, so good luck
with life and he'll never see me again.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh wow, man, I still don't feel sorry for you though.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's why it's called lama coin island.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I got it. You been there? Maybe you got an invite?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, and him and bros. Let's go over to Carly.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Can you hit back?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah? So a guy and I actually went to this
eat food place and I ordered crab and when my
crab came out, he started complaining about he hated the
small secret.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Why would you go there?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Then did he pick the rest? Right? Yeah? It was crazy.
So he he actually taste out an entire bottle of
cologne out of his pocket and spraised it all over
himself until the whole bottle is gone. Headache. I sat there,
I sat there in the smell of Abercromp all night.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I have a Crombie. He has the good steps. It's
round two, Eden, We're back to you, all right.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Well I met a guy who works in a museum
and he told me he was going to seek the
Inn one night for our date. Oh yeah, that sounds romantic,
so it sounds fun. But when I get there, he
kept joking about the dinosaur exhibit and if I wanted
to look at his bone. Oh it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I should work on this show. You guys, he's not
talking about the dinasty.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, we got it, we got it. I just thought
he was going to be classy because he actually worked
at a museum. Like. At one point he said he
had used the restroom, so lady, and then he came
out dressed as a caveman and yelled, my name is Jave.
He want hump.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's a line.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Why do I know this guy? Interesting? We're just going
to move on to car?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
All right, friends, what do you got?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
A guy and I were out at the bars and
as night ended, he said he'd ordered me an uber home.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, it was really nice. So the car got there
and I got in, but he got in right after me. Oh,
and that's when he introduced me to his mom and dad,
who were in the front seat.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
No, called his mom and dad to come pick you up.
It was uber chair.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah. They explained that their son had been laid off recently,
so they had been driving him around to use the
financial stream. He's going through it, guess worse, it gets worse.
They looked at him and said, Matthew, is she going
to her house or spending the night with us?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Like they even have to ask? You're going back to
their point. It's time for the third and final round,
and we need your best story.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Okay, little guy, I got some food from a food
shack by apart, and then moving on a walk, and
a raccoon kept coming up to us. It wasn't paying
any attention to me, but it started making weird noise
and almost attacking my date. WHOA, oh god, oh man,
that's scary because he's moving in on the raccoon's girl. Man.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's when he apologized, and he finally admitted that he
had stuffed raw chicken breast down his pants to look biggers. WHOA,
oh my god, sanitary, did you get sell Manila down there?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
This is your last chance?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My god. So my date came to my house and
he brought me this huge bouquet of flowers.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay, nice, finally a nice guy that you're out with.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah. And so it wasn't until after the date when
my eighty year old neighbor came by and said, come
with me and I yeah, and I follow her to
the retirement center across the street. A bunch of the
seniors and a couple of nurses were holding down my
date on a gurney. What what. Turns out they had
(06:15):
a video of him coming into the facility and taking
all of the flowers from the front desk areas you
knows where to go. I was more ashamed he couldn't
fight off the senior.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
It's kind of sad. There's the final bell that means
match is over. We need to score this one, Alexis,
who wins today?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I'm gonna do Carly for the senior. Steeler guy just
said one for Carly. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I can't get over Rod Chicken in the pants.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I give it. You got the decision maker.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Who's it going to be?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I'm going with Rod.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Chicken pants surprise, eating congratulations trees and eating like Alexis
is jealous of what a train wreck your dating life
is and you should be proud of that.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Real Well, I mean, I guess I'm happy I won,
but I hope my dating life gets better.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, no, I hope not. I want you back on
the show for more of these stories. That's a battle
of the tender dates. We got your phones have coming
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Two hopeless one dating app then dares right. The question
is whose love life is more tragic? It's Battle Love
the Tinder Dates.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
It's the dating game show that encourages you to ask
yourself WWSD, what would Snookie do? That's the type of
decision making we need for Battle of the Tinder Dates,
where two of our listeners go head to head to
find out whose dating life is the most tragic. We're
gonna explain the rules in just a second, but first
let's meet today's contestants. In this corner, her ideal first
(00:36):
date is to get tipsy with a foreign dignitary and
accidentally leak confidential secrets of national security to them over
a late night burrito Wow to meet treason.
Speaker 3 (00:48):
Eden Ah, that's how World War one started, Thank.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
You for that.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
And in the other corner, she challenges you to name
any car that she hasked on top of or thrown
up inside of, and trust me, you're not gonna be
able to do it. That's why they call her party Carly.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah, Carly, maybe you could give Alexis a recommendation on
what cleaner to use.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Yes, But here's how the game works. One contestant is
going to start by telling one of their worst dating
stories than the other were trying to counter with a
nightmare story of their own. We're gonna go back and
forth for three rounds here, and then afterwards we will
declare a winner. We're gonna kick things off first with
treeson Eden.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Go. Okay. So I had a date with a guy
who was like a finance brotype. Oh okay. He was
going off about crypto and how I should as right,
I forget the name, maybe lama coin, or I'll pack
a coin or done.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
That sounds legit, so like you could just.
Speaker 3 (01:46):
Put any animal in front of coin and then it
probably actually exists. So I was like sure, and he
showed me how to set up an account and I
bought some. Oh no, well, five days later it's shot
up in value and instead of only two hundred dollars,
where I like, oh, two thousands.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
A bad date, It's amazing.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
The thing is I texted him to thank him, and
he said he just bought an island, so good luck
with life and he'll never see me again.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
Oh wow, man, I still don't feel sorry for you though.
Speaker 2 (02:17):
That's why it's called lama coin island.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
I got it. You been there? Maybe you got an invite?
Speaker 2 (02:23):
Yeah, and him and bros. Let's go over to Carly.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Can you hit back?
Speaker 1 (02:27):
Yeah? So a guy and I actually went to this
eat food place and I ordered crab and when my
crab came out, he started complaining about he hated the
small secret.
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Why would you go there?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Then did he pick the rest? Right? Yeah? It was crazy.
So he he actually taste out an entire bottle of
cologne out of his pocket and spraised it all over
himself until the whole bottle is gone. Headache. I sat there,
I sat there in the smell of Abercromp all night.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I have a Crombie. He has the good steps. It's
round two, Eden, We're back to you, all right.
Speaker 3 (03:09):
Well I met a guy who works in a museum
and he told me he was going to seek the
Inn one night for our date. Oh yeah, that sounds romantic,
so it sounds fun. But when I get there, he
kept joking about the dinosaur exhibit and if I wanted
to look at his bone. Oh it's a good one.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I should work on this show. You guys, he's not
talking about the dinasty.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Yeah, we got it, we got it. I just thought
he was going to be classy because he actually worked
at a museum. Like. At one point he said he
had used the restroom, so lady, and then he came
out dressed as a caveman and yelled, my name is Jave.
He want hump.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
That's a line.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Why do I know this guy? Interesting? We're just going
to move on to car?
Speaker 3 (03:58):
All right, friends, what do you got?
Speaker 1 (04:03):
A guy and I were out at the bars and
as night ended, he said he'd ordered me an uber home.
Speaker 3 (04:09):
That's nice.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
Yeah, it was really nice. So the car got there
and I got in, but he got in right after me. Oh,
and that's when he introduced me to his mom and dad,
who were in the front seat.
Speaker 3 (04:22):
No, called his mom and dad to come pick you up.
It was uber chair.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah. They explained that their son had been laid off recently,
so they had been driving him around to use the
financial stream. He's going through it, guess worse, it gets worse.
They looked at him and said, Matthew, is she going
to her house or spending the night with us?
Speaker 2 (04:52):
Like they even have to ask? You're going back to
their point. It's time for the third and final round,
and we need your best story.
Speaker 3 (04:59):
Okay, little guy, I got some food from a food
shack by apart, and then moving on a walk, and
a raccoon kept coming up to us. It wasn't paying
any attention to me, but it started making weird noise
and almost attacking my date. WHOA, oh god, oh man,
that's scary because he's moving in on the raccoon's girl. Man.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
That's when he apologized, and he finally admitted that he
had stuffed raw chicken breast down his pants to look biggers. WHOA,
oh my god, sanitary, did you get sell Manila down there?
Speaker 2 (05:41):
This is your last chance?
Speaker 1 (05:42):
My god. So my date came to my house and
he brought me this huge bouquet of flowers.
Speaker 3 (05:49):
Okay, nice, finally a nice guy that you're out with.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah. And so it wasn't until after the date when
my eighty year old neighbor came by and said, come
with me and I yeah, and I follow her to
the retirement center across the street. A bunch of the
seniors and a couple of nurses were holding down my
date on a gurney. What what. Turns out they had
(06:15):
a video of him coming into the facility and taking
all of the flowers from the front desk areas you
knows where to go. I was more ashamed he couldn't
fight off the senior.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
It's kind of sad. There's the final bell that means
match is over. We need to score this one, Alexis,
who wins today?
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I'm gonna do Carly for the senior. Steeler guy just
said one for Carly. Sorry.
Speaker 3 (06:44):
I can't get over Rod Chicken in the pants.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
I give it. You got the decision maker.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Who's it going to be?
Speaker 1 (06:51):
I'm going with Rod.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Chicken pants surprise, eating congratulations trees and eating like Alexis
is jealous of what a train wreck your dating life
is and you should be proud of that.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
Real Well, I mean, I guess I'm happy I won,
but I hope my dating life gets better.
Speaker 2 (07:10):
Yeah, no, I hope not. I want you back on
the show for more of these stories. That's a battle
of the tender dates. We got your phones have coming
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Up Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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