Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You ever been dating someone and suddenly realized, Oh my god,
this person's a total idiot. I missed that.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
Every girl that's ever dated me. I'm a figure it out.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Eventually.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Maybe it's an ex, maybe it's the person you're currently with,
or maybe it's you.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
For us like yourself. It usually is.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
But I only bring it up because recently a new
survey came out asking people to share their best I'm
dating an idiot stories.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
We found the funniest ones.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
Number eight on the list says, my ex boyfriend cooked
dinner and secretly put shrimp in my food to see
if I was actually allergic to shelfish or if I
was just being dramatic.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
My gosh, I have a friend who will die, like
literally die.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
What?
Speaker 3 (00:55):
Yes? Like that could to actually be like something where
you could get arrested for that.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
It required an EpiPen and a trip to the e
R God he found out.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
No, I was not lying. It's not like a cat allergy,
you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Like, well, it's good to just make sure that your
significant others are being honest with you all the time,
because honesty is important.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Peanut butter Next.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Yes number seven, My date tried to argue with me
about whether babies can breathe underwater. He said they can
because they haven't fully lost their gills from the wound.
That's I'm not sure what birds in the Bees class
he took, but I definitely want to sign up for that.
Speaker 3 (01:36):
Why do I feel like there's at least four men
listening that are like, yeah, duh.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Yeah, there's an ambilical board, gentlemen. Yes number six.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
My ex boyfriend and I got into a heated debate
about whether or not dinosaurs were around during the American Revolution.
He was one hundred percent certain t rex was roaming
the earth while George Washington was crossing the Delaware.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
I remember a t rex in the background of that painting,
you know, the famous one.
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Yeah, they're just over the water. Jefferson rides one into battle.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
Yeah, God, was that a velociraptor.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I can never the difference between the dinosaurs.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
We're looking at a survey where people share their funniest
I'm dating a total idiot. Stories Number five. I went
out with a woman who complained the temperature in her
house never changed even when she adjusted the thermostat.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
She couldn't.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
She couldn't understand why she was always feeling hot or cold.
Turns out she left the sticker over the digital thermometer
and that's why it always said seventy two degrees.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
My god, says that's so funny. I mean, honestly, like
that's dumb. But I feel like I could accidentally do that.
Speaker 1 (02:49):
You're shivering in your home and you know it's not
seventy two one.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
Is that the problem with this studio? Yeah, it is
always saying here and he says it's seventy one. Is
it's like, does someone take the sticker off?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I don't know. We gotta go check out when we're done.
You're idiot.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Number four we were talking about where to go out
to eat for dinner. I suggested an Italian restaurant. Yeah,
she said she hated Italian.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
And wanted a place with more options.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
So we went to Cheesecake Factory, where she ordered lasagna.
Speaker 2 (03:22):
They'd be like, oh, man, but I love Boston. She's like,
it's American.
Speaker 3 (03:25):
It's cheesecake.
Speaker 2 (03:27):
By the way.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
For just tuning in and you're unimpressed with the intelligence
of your significant other, this is gonna make you feel
a whole lot better I stories about your people, because
we're going over the funniest stories from people who realized
they were dating a total idiot. Number three on the list.
In the movie seven spoiler alert, here all the characters
die for committing one of the seven deadly sins.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
That's such a good movie. Have you seen that Alexis's pitt.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
It's really good. She says.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
In the scene that shows the word gluttony written on
the wall, my ex boyfriend said, gluten gluten, Gluten kills.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
G up for life. Baby. Oh god, she's eating bread.
She's gonna die.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Number two and Brooke, You're gonna like this one. It
says I dated a woman who thought Mark Twain was
Shanaia Twain's husband. That's why she wrote the song Tom
Sawyer Don't Impress Me Seriously, move over, Beyonce and jay Z,
(04:38):
Mark Twain, Shannaia Power Couple.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
Huck Finzer Baby, and the number one I'm dating an
idiot story from this survey says I used to date
a woman who genuinely thought the sun and the moon
were the same thing.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
She explained the moon is just the sun when it
runs out of fuel at the end of the day
and it's dim like a flashlight losing battery and then
it gets recharged.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Right, It's like if it's one of those shake ones too.
These people not know what Google is.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
I mean, I understand that their education system failed them.
But like, honestly, the answers are right at our fingertips
these days.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
And we do have an honorable mention on this list,
not in the top ten. My ex boyfriend thought his
car was stolen, filed the police report. Turns out he'd
driven it across the street to buy a soda at
the store, walked home and forgot he moved it there.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Really, hose you, you definitely have hot your car with stolen.
I used to he's a a parketing new spot every
single day, Alexis. He would call it to the show
and be like, I'm gonna be late today. I can't
find Mark.
Speaker 2 (05:46):
Fact.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
Jose was nine of the ten top answers on this list. Congratulations, Josey,
I'm cute if you're looking for that's right.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
That's right. You can't be hot and smart.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
It's just no one can have it.
Speaker 1 (05:59):
That's too much of a powerhouse. That's like Mark Twain,
Shania Twain. Those were the best I'm dating in idiot stories.
Phone tap is coming up right after this.
Speaker 2 (06:09):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.