June 5, 2025 • 50 mins
FULL SHOW: Thursday, June 5th, 2025
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to the brand new full show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Thanks so much for being here at Sprick and Jeffrey
in the morning, and we had a lot of fun
ahead of us. We got a brand new textual healing
with one of our listeners.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Needing help texting her ex.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Which is always good.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, yeah, that is always.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
A fun one. I always saved mind is do not
call her? Do not text in my phone?
Speaker 5 (00:16):
Yeah you know mine is marry her?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Oh but she do?
Speaker 5 (00:21):
Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Sorry, we got some TikTok fun ahead of us, but yes,
we always love to highlight some of our favorite comments
of the week. Alexis, what are you seeing?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, this will made me laugh.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Zardrick said, I sit in my cubicle waiting for these
to go up every morning, like a crocodile waiting for
a gazelle in the savannah.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
What an analogy.
Speaker 5 (00:42):
So the second you uploaded alexis he.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Pounces Yeah, every day, probably the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
We love that.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Thank you so much for being here. Please subscribe it.
It helps us a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
And White Yeah, thank you that too, Jose And let's
get this full show started.
Speaker 6 (00:59):
How do you feel about your own name? It's Brook
and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I like mine too. I found out it's like a
guy's name in other countries. Yeah, it does sound like
a rus Like this, you sound like a Russian male.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
That should make you hotter, if any. Most people have
kind of like a love hate relationship with their name,
Like maybe you wish your name was more common or
more unique, or it was easier to spell. Yeah, yeah,
it's like it's kyle q u E apostrophe I L
L E y e g h Kyle.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Why can't anyone get Nobody understand?
Speaker 6 (01:43):
But according to a new poll, what percent of people
do think don't like their own name?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Any guests, I'm going to say, yeah, think fifty Only.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Six percent don't like their own name. I agree. I
think it seems awfully low. I expected way more self
loathing and hatred.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, no, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I meet people, I'm like, you just don't feel like
your name like, and then I rename them something in
my head and then I never people have never get it, like.
Speaker 7 (02:13):
You look like a Jason when they're very you know,
when they see me, well, they don't know how hispanic
when they see me.
Speaker 6 (02:20):
Well, four percent said they dislike it, two percent absolutely
hate their own. Meanwhile, forty two percent of people love
their name. Those are the ones who get it monogrammed
on their pillows and spell it out in led lights.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
Thirty one percent say they just like it. Nineteen percent
are kind of neutral on their name.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
How are you on your name?
Speaker 6 (02:44):
Jeffrey had absolutely hate it. It's the worst name.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What would you have named yourself?
Speaker 6 (02:48):
I mean something cool like I was like Chase, Oh no, nice,
you're not so abrook and Chase, Yeah, I hate you.
Nineteen percent are just kind of neutral. They could be
named Dave or dishwasher or whatever. They don't care, that'll
answer to it.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Basically, just picked for your name.
Speaker 6 (03:09):
Oh I like that's badass. Now let's move on to
the shock collar question of the day with the man
who has a very unique name. Hopefully I pronounce it right?
Is it Jack? Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 8 (03:24):
Today is the birthday of actor, rapper and Boston legend
Mark Wahlberg.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
He could have read twice market.
Speaker 6 (03:34):
It's right somewhere right now.
Speaker 8 (03:36):
He's been awake for seven hours, he's done two workouts,
he's prayed, he's golfed, he's cold plunged. Jompa juice, and
he's yelled at himself in the mirror for eating a
car or about Jampa juice. And when he's not acting
or lifting weights to the darket two am, he's collecting
royalties from his Burger chain wallbergers.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Yeah, oh got.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
The description of him is still killing.
Speaker 8 (04:01):
It is why Marky Mark has been in the entertainment
industry for almost four decades now, and that's why in
honor of his big day, we're doing a special on
the Mark or Off the Mark edition of twenty of twenty.
Here's how it works. You say number one through twenty,
I'll give you a fun fact about Mark Wahlberg. You
have to tell me if it's on the Mark true
(04:24):
or off the Mark false. Okay, we'll start with the
woman who's the Marky Mark of our Funky Bunch. That's
seven number seven. Oh, it says your Mark Wahlberg. Fact
is in nineteen ninety two, before his acting career took off,
Mark Wahlberg made extra cash by recording personalized motivational quotes
for a one nine hundred numbering yell stuff like get
(04:46):
up be somebody? Is that fact on the Mark or
off the mark?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
It's so good? I don't know if Jake just meet
it up.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I know because it sounds like a number that Chase
would call over on the other side of the studio.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Jeff would never do that, but his alter.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ego, Chase would call the number and listen, let's say
on the.
Speaker 8 (05:12):
Mark, Alexis says, that's true. On the mark of the mark.
It definitely sounds like something he would do. But no,
we made that up.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, definitely sounds like something he do.
Speaker 8 (05:21):
Alexis, guess seven, Brooke. I need a different number from you.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I'm gonna guess five five Brook Here.
Speaker 8 (05:27):
Mark Wahlberg fact is this. He once turned down a
role in The Fast and the Furious because he thought
the script was too slow and not as furious to
his liking as this fact on the mark or off
the mark.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh God, can I give everyone a tip today?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
He wrote like a memoir or something at like age
nineteen around.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
There and it is the funniest thing you can look
up on the internet. I would highly suggest it today.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
About this it's likening.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Oh it's terrible, I have Oh it's the it's the ultimate,
not pretty like it can't go harder.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
He was super full of himself.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
That's why I think this is probably on the Mark.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Brooks says, on the Mark the Mark, he was never
offered a role in The Fast and Furious, Jose, were
over to you. Five and seven have been chosen. Okay,
let's go eight eight, Jose. Your Mark Wahlberg fact is
this Mark Wahlberg got his first acting role playing a
time traveling janitor in a Canadian sci fi show. This
(06:26):
fact on the mark or off the mark?
Speaker 7 (06:29):
You know, it's when you're an actor, you always always
have the weirdest roles when you start, Like I swear,
I see Paul Rudd in the most random things. He's
been around forever, and he's in a commercial in the eighties,
and so I can see, like your first rule. Can
you picture.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Mark Wahlberg doing a Canadian accent? I don't know if
he's able to do anything except his own voice.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
That's where I'm with you, Jeff, And I think Canada
usually picks Canadian actors for stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's over any buddy else?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
What if that was his persona? Like Rambo is Rambo
in every country?
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Right, It's like, yeah, this guy, Like what if Mark
is this guy in every country?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I think he is. I'm gonna say On the.
Speaker 8 (07:12):
Mark, Jose says On The Mark, Yeah, today.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
We believe everything about Marky Mark Gold.
Speaker 8 (07:19):
Everything's feasible.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
He's done.
Speaker 8 (07:20):
All that was totally fake. He got his start as
the front man of the music group Market Mark, and
then that really was his first That was the underwear thing.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, his mom was not happy about the underwear thing.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
What underwear thing?
Speaker 8 (07:31):
Oh, I'll show you some h Yeah, you'll love it.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yees.
Speaker 8 (07:35):
Oh, Jeffrey, it's your return. You got to get this writer.
I'm winning Today's Plenty of twenty number eleven, number eleven, Jeffrey,
Your Mark Wahlberg fact is a follows. He was originally
supposed to play Linus in Ocean's eleven, but dropped out
and was replaced by Matt Damon. Is this fact on
the Mark or off the Mark?
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Linus is? Is he the nerdy one in that?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know. He's Matt Damon.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
He's the son of the He's always talk about his
parents judging his work. He's very not as confident.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
He's not the computer nerdy.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
He's kind of like ni.
Speaker 9 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, don't you think out of all.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
The actors, Marky Mark and Matt Damon are easily interchangeable
to me.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Yeah, they're both like attractive white dudes with the same
type of accent.
Speaker 6 (08:19):
Yeah, I mean, I think in the In the Ocean's
eleven movies, Linus is kind of like a neurotic guy
that's worried that like he wants everything to go right.
That feels like it fits Mark Wahlberg's personality kind of
on edge, like has to have things go right all
the time. I'm gonna say it's on the Mark.
Speaker 8 (08:36):
Jeffrey says, that's true. The Mark.
Speaker 10 (08:41):
He was supposed to.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Be Linus but passed and did Planet of the Apes instead.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
What a choice.
Speaker 8 (08:46):
Jeffrey nailed it today when he won PL twenty.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
All right, so I'm gonna be no, not me. I'm
gonna choose who gets shocked while they sing good Vibrations
by market Mark get shocked, of course. I don't want
to get shaq Jose you probably know this one.
Speaker 7 (09:04):
I shouldn't have spoken up um the vibration, lack of
sun kiss man, you want to know, Hey, done this?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I don't know that song?
Speaker 6 (09:22):
It was on points your shot collar question of the day,
got your phones tap coming up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 11 (09:28):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
They say, in a marriage, if you want to maintain
a healthy relationship, you have to tell each other everything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Absolutely. Communication is key.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Your dreams, your fears, your secret crush that you've had
on that guy from the radio with the sexy.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Voice, you know what, talking about it.
Speaker 6 (09:50):
You gotta tell your spouse. But one of our listeners says,
there's no way he can tell his wife about the
one thing he's been keeping in his wallet for the
last eight years. It's a super embarrassing item related to
her past, and if she ever found out that he
had it, she might literally kill them. WHOA, you're a
(10:13):
married woman right now, look out, your husband may have
confessed in a brand new mass speaker it's coming up
right now. You don't know me confession. I can't take
back our arms. Mouse speaker Texas seven eighty five nine
two says I really want to go get a massage,
(10:34):
but I don't know how to tell if the place
offers massages or quote massages.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Oh you know what I found this out look at
the hours.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh that's it.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I saw one about purchasing one from their elderly father
and not knowing what they were getting to God.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Yeah, this person says, I'm just worried they'll ask and
I won't know how to say.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
No, Like, am I not good enough for you?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Have some boundaries?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Yeah, On this show we offer a different kind of
stress relief, the relief of getting your secrets off of
your chest and out into the open, right here on
the mass speaker. Yeah, and also a little under the
table stuff if you asked nicely. And today we have
a guy who wants to come clean using the fake
name Keith. So, Keith, welcome, lay down on the table,
take your pants off. How you doing?
Speaker 12 (11:25):
Hey, Hey, what's going on? Everybody? That was too much?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That that's okay, we understand your boundaries now, Keith.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
Yeah, So you want to just do a regular confession
today or you want to do a little something extra.
Speaker 12 (11:36):
Just a regular confession. That funny confession to me. So
I hope y'all think it's a funny confession as well.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Awesome, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Usually people are really nervous, but I love that.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Yeah, we can't wait. Voice changes on. You're the mass speaker.
Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
He's like, I stole someone's identity.
Speaker 12 (11:57):
I'm not the criminal onness, but somebody else.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Okay, all right, what do you got keys?
Speaker 12 (12:03):
I've been married now for about twelve years. Just want
you guys know I love my wife to death.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Whenever you start like that, there's a button.
Speaker 12 (12:11):
Yeah, I got I got it into that. It's a funny, beautiful,
amazing woman, just pure joy for me.
Speaker 11 (12:19):
Man.
Speaker 12 (12:19):
And we tell each other everything in the marriage. I
feel like you should tell each other.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Everything agreed, agreed.
Speaker 12 (12:25):
But there is one thing I would never tell. How
I would take this to my grave?
Speaker 11 (12:30):
Real?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
You won't even tell your wife's this.
Speaker 12 (12:33):
I can't tell her, man. And it's a secret that
I keep about her in my wallet and I've had
it in my wallet for eight years.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Now, what a secret about her?
Speaker 12 (12:41):
It's her mugshot photo?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
What wait?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
What?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Wait? You keep your wife's mugshot?
Speaker 4 (12:48):
How would she not know about her own mugshot photo?
Speaker 12 (12:51):
Holdo, she's not killers, OJ sens and anything. I just
want to put that out there.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
That was definitely where my mind went immediately. You're like,
I love her so much, she's so sweet.
Speaker 12 (13:02):
You won't see her home dayline tonight, I promise.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
What happened?
Speaker 12 (13:08):
So she had a traffic violation. She didn't appear in court.
Oh yeah, okay, so yeah, so she affled the pay
of court for this traffic violation. She forgot the date,
and then one day she finally showed up for it
and she got arrested. And I gotta tell y'all, I
gotta be honest with you. This mug shot. She's so
beautiful in this mugshot.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Wait, wait, you think she's hot in the mugshot?
Speaker 12 (13:31):
Hey, so you got to think a regular mug shot.
You're getting arrested. You don't have time to make up
or anything. Because she was going to court. She had
time to put on makeup. I mean, she looked so fierce.
So I printed it and I put it in my wallet.
I haven't hit it in my wallet.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Yo, okay, just because it like gets you going a
little bit like you're batty wife in a mugshot looking hot.
Speaker 12 (13:52):
It's like you've been on Facebook and you see these
mugshots are like pretty people. It's one of those type
of mugs.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
If I was her, yeah yeah, wait, does she not
know you have it in your wallet?
Speaker 12 (14:05):
Oh she doesn't know. She would be so embarrassed. Oh yeah,
she'll make me throw it away. She would be so embarrassed.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
Well, what it makes sense? Like just knowing, like I've
been to jail, no matter what it's for.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
Your wife doesn't want you going around town showing her
mugshot photos to everybody that you know.
Speaker 12 (14:20):
Hey first, okay, so don't judge me. I do show
other people that, don't.
Speaker 11 (14:28):
You do.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
She doesn't want people to know that she was arrested.
Speaker 12 (14:32):
But she's so beautiful in it. I've shown in the Bartenders,
I've shown in the Uber Drivers, because peopoul be like, hey,
are you married? I'm like, I'm married. Check this out.
And everybody has seen in there, even like oh my god,
she's beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
In like a terrifying scary here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
You're gonna get busted.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Somebody's gonna see her and be like, oh, you're the
bugshot hatie.
Speaker 12 (14:57):
That's the thing. I'm really good at hiding it from
her because she does. Don't get through my wile anything
like that. Like my daughter, I have a we have
a three year old daughter, and one day she grabbed
my wallet off the counter and pulled it out and
grab it real quick.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Was your wife in the room, Yeah, my.
Speaker 12 (15:11):
Wife was in the room. My wife was in the room.
I took the picture and.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Ate it one way to get rid of the evidence.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Yeah. Wait then then you got it back.
Speaker 12 (15:28):
No, I printed out another Oh, like.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
You have to recover it out of you know. Okay, good,
you didn't put it in there. Don't put that back
in the wall.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
What do you think your wife would do if she
found out you had this picture in your wallet?
Speaker 12 (15:42):
She would probably tell me to throw it away because
she would be embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Yeah, if she found it, then she would actually become
a murderer when she got an even sexier mud shut
photo book the second time.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
She won't show up for that.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Classic wife that's actually really cute.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Yeah, you're never gonna show her. No plans, no plans.
Speaker 12 (16:05):
Are showing it. I'm taking it to the grave, matter
of fact. On my when I'm dying, my lands words
will be like check the wallet.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Oh my god. That's hilarious. Text in seven eighty five
nine two. If you have a confession you've been holding
on to, we can hid your identity master voice and
make you our next mass speaker. Phone taps coming up
right after.
Speaker 11 (16:25):
This, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, Brook.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
And Jeffrey in the morning. And today we prank a
dad who volunteered to help set up for his kids
middle school dance. And you'd think if a guy's offering
to do such a nice, selfless thing, you wouldn't want
to mess with that, right, No, he should be celebrated. Yeah, no,
not with us. No, we're gonna prank him in your
phone tap right now?
Speaker 11 (16:49):
Another?
Speaker 12 (16:54):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
All right? Is this Kevin?
Speaker 11 (16:59):
Sure? Is master?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'm speaking with absolutely This is Janet Throttle bamb I'm
with the middle school PTA, just calling to go for
a few last minute things before Friday.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Oh, Mia, what's what's going on Friday?
Speaker 11 (17:13):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
It's the big dance Knock knock?
Speaker 6 (17:16):
Anybody home the dance?
Speaker 10 (17:18):
Yeah, that's that's right.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I got you who You got me scared there for
a second. Didn't want to lose our DJ?
Speaker 13 (17:26):
Lose?
Speaker 10 (17:27):
Why would we lose the DJ?
Speaker 13 (17:29):
What are you talking.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
About, fuddy? It's not funny.
Speaker 10 (17:35):
I'm not trying to be funny.
Speaker 12 (17:37):
What's going on with the DJ?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Well, you're on the schedule. It's our DJ for the night.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Hold on what and we are so grateful that you volunteered.
Not a lot of dads step up like hold on.
Speaker 8 (17:47):
I got to stop you there.
Speaker 10 (17:49):
I'm not the DJ. I'm supposed to be helping set up,
but I'm not the DJ.
Speaker 11 (17:55):
There's no way.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Just like Beyonce, she also claims she doesn't DJ.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
What that is the kind of humility we love from
our performers.
Speaker 10 (18:03):
Now, Okay, yeah, no, seriously, I don't mean be right.
I don't know how to DJ. I mean I was
I was informed that I was simply setting up tables,
chairs and decorations.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Informing you now then, huh, because we've already printed the
flyers with your name on them.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
DJ Midlife Crisis like it?
Speaker 12 (18:22):
Wow?
Speaker 11 (18:23):
Really?
Speaker 10 (18:23):
DJ Midlife Crisis.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, the glitter banner is getting laminated as we speak.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
A glitter banner.
Speaker 13 (18:31):
The kids are going.
Speaker 12 (18:31):
To be so hyped.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I mean, how fun is that?
Speaker 10 (18:34):
I don't see this being fun.
Speaker 11 (18:36):
It's middle school.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
It's like I'm going to be transported back in time
and I'm going to be made fun of it all
over again.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh, we would never set you up for that.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
We even asked one of our sixth graders to bring
his equipment and assist you.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
DJ Skibbitty Skibbity DJ s Gibbety Okay, now you're done.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Skimvity, that's okay. Two Skivity's is lit.
Speaker 13 (18:57):
Listen.
Speaker 10 (18:58):
I seriously don't want to disappoint the kids at all,
but if I have to do this, prepare for a
train wreck because it's going to be bad.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So that's a yes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
All right, Okay, listen, we'll take care of everything. Light
sounds Skibby. Skibby will be your hype man.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
He's great. Oh he has backflips and calls people.
Speaker 10 (19:16):
Bro, that sounds like a nightmare.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Listen, you ordered two gallons of energy drink for your
green room. He's not going to be enough because you're
on for five hours five hours.
Speaker 10 (19:27):
There's no way I can d day for five hours.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Oh no, it's not just you. Remember Skibbitty, your hype man.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, you'll help you deal with all the breaks. We
know how those midlife bladders go.
Speaker 10 (19:38):
First of all, I mean, I'm kind of offended because
I'm not that old. But at the same time, I
don't know what music to play. What am I going
to get up there and play?
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I got your back, Bro.
Speaker 10 (19:48):
You just called me Bro.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Hold up, you're sure right.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
All you got to do is throw my playlist down
on those ones and twos.
Speaker 10 (19:55):
Oh my god, I've got.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Three different versions of Drops of Jupiter.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
We should hear it in acoustic.
Speaker 10 (20:02):
All right, this can't be real. Somebody has to be
messing with me.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Someone definitely is just like I mess around with mister Brightside.
Speaker 10 (20:12):
Could somebody please just tell me what the hell is
going on? I'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Man, you're hard Kevin. This is a prank phone call
and you're on.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
The radio right now.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
Oh my god, are you serious. There's no way.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, your wife Shelley set you up for radio show
Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 10 (20:31):
Oh my god, I can't. I can't believe she did
to this.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Man.
Speaker 13 (20:35):
You guys are awesome.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
She said you got roped into helping out with the
middle school dance this Friday.
Speaker 10 (20:40):
So yeah, I sure did. But nobody told me about
being a DJ.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So well DJ Midwife, Crysis, your fans will wait.
Speaker 10 (20:47):
Don't forget Skibbity Skivvy or whatever the hell that kid's
name is.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
That's right, bro, The wake.
Speaker 11 (20:54):
Up every morning was funk Tap weekday mornings on the twenties,
Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning on this show.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
We're always trying to get people together, whether it's two
of our listeners for a second date yeh, or hooking
up our digital producer Jake with Brook's mom. We are
constantly trying to make love happen. Doesn't mean anything, Okay,
it's about love, Brook, and it takes a lot of
work doing it every single day.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
That's why. Thank god, we have a woman on the
phone who wants us to do the exact opposite. Oh,
she needs to make it clear no love will happen
between her and one dude who's coming over to her
place later, and this particular situation is extremely awkward for her.
You'll understand why she needs our help when we do
(21:44):
some textual healing coming up next, text you will healing textual.
Most people who need help texting our ninety six year
old grandma's who can't figure out which side of the
iPhone is the touch part. But occasionally regular folks need
(22:08):
assistance with texting too, when they're in an awkward predicament
and they aren't sure what to write to.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
One of our ninety five year old listeners.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Yeah, might be, we might be. That's the whole reason
we created this segment textual Healing, where we assist listeners
of all ages, grandmas to newborns, and we help them
craft the perfect message. And who's emailed the show today
requesting our textual expertise or expertise. Her name is Brianna. Brianna,
(22:38):
welcome to the show.
Speaker 13 (22:39):
Hi, thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
You're welcome, Brianna, and we're going to be taking your text.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Yeah possible.
Speaker 13 (22:46):
Oh I see what you did.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Yeah, I'm really smart. We're really the smartest guy on
the show.
Speaker 6 (22:52):
So, Brianna, tell us about what's your awkward situation? Why
do you need our help?
Speaker 13 (22:58):
So I just don't know what to say, and I'm
hoping you guys can help me. So I had a
guy over for a date. That's not the problem.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
That is a good thing to say show.
Speaker 13 (23:08):
Let me just start that right there. Okay, but he
found a gold chain in one of my bathroom drawers.
It's a long story, but I look at it and
I realized it's my ex boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Oh yeah, dude, I can't believe your date was snooping
in your bathroom drawers.
Speaker 13 (23:21):
Well no, I ask him to get something out from me.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Oh okay, okay, that's good. Is it expensive? Gold chains.
I wouldn't get rid of it that either how thick
was it?
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Was it like a thin one or what?
Speaker 13 (23:30):
Well, it's it's real gold, Like it's real. But it's
something I would have thrown out, except that his grandmother
gave it to him, like it's got sentimental values.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
To my gosh, you got to give it back to us.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
I know. But well, see now you're kind of getting
to exactly my problem because I texted him and I said, hey,
I finder change, you want to come grab it? And
he sends me back this text and he's like, oh,
sure you did. You can just say you want some
of this with like one of those little squirky winky Oh,
I see why.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
It's your ex Yeah.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But in his defense, you did say you want to
come over and grab it. That can you interpreted a
lot of different Really, I'm just saying, yeah.
Speaker 13 (24:04):
I did definitely set myself up for that one. And
part of how I set myself up for it was
that two months ago his AirPods were still here. We
worke up about three months ago, and after about a
month I found it air pods and I texted him
to stop buying grab him like a same kind of thing,
and he came over and we ended up hooking up.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
Yeah, okay, so there's precedence for this now.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I mean, unfortunately is going to come over. It's just
good bound to happen.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Okay, KPX is away from Brooks House, that's just definitely
going to happen.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I mean, that's why you got to meet in a
place like a parking lot or well park that yeah, parking.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Lot with a gorgeous view of the city.
Speaker 11 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (24:42):
So I just I need to be able to text
him in a way that he knows is like, no,
that's not what I want. I just want you to
get your stuff, okay, And he's coming over at six tonight,
Like he's already said straight up that he's coming over.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I understand why his response was the grab it saying
then yeah it makes sense.
Speaker 6 (24:57):
Now, yeah, he's thinking that you're trying to set it
up again. But can't you just tell him like, no,
I'm just going to leave it under my doormat, I'll
be like away from home.
Speaker 13 (25:06):
I could, but I just don't wanted to get stolen, because,
like I said, his grandmother gave it time. So that's
why I didn't just put it in the mail, can.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I ask, yeah, is there any part of you that
kinda wants to hook up with it when he comes over?
Speaker 11 (25:19):
No?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Just jacket?
Speaker 13 (25:20):
Okay, No, I mean that's a fair question. But yeah,
if you've been there the last time, you would have
understood why I did not want you.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
What was the last thing that was said between you two?
Speaker 13 (25:32):
The last thing was that he was going to come
over a sixth and he said I'm going to give
you something of mine too.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Oh my gosh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 13 (25:40):
Kind of gross.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
And oh yeah, okay, so the wheels are already in motion.
You're trying to make it really really clear to him
that nothing is going to happen and there's no lingering
feelings there right.
Speaker 13 (25:53):
Like you're not coming inside. I'm just going to hand
it to you at the door. Peace out, Go have
a great life.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Should be easy.
Speaker 6 (25:59):
Just able to say, Hi, I don't have a lot
of time.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I think you need more than that. I think you
need to say i'm short on time. I've got a
date at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, boyfriend already?
Speaker 11 (26:13):
Right?
Speaker 13 (26:13):
Does that not make me kind of sound like a
why do you care?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's your ex?
Speaker 11 (26:17):
You?
Speaker 13 (26:17):
You're right, You're right.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
It sounds like you're trying to make him jealous a
little bit.
Speaker 13 (26:21):
Like that's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
Yeah, okay, then you say I poop my pants, I
have to change.
Speaker 13 (26:29):
No, that would probably take care of it.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Yeah, let's hope he doesn't have a rebuttal for that.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Can you be like really direct and say I think
you're reading too far into this?
Speaker 13 (26:38):
I mean, yeah, just be like you don't flatter yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Or you really want him to leave you alone?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You say, well, last time was pretty disappointing, so I
don't want to go down that road again.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Honestly, that's how my friends text their x.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
I would like every time was disappointing.
Speaker 13 (26:54):
And that would not be a lie.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
So yeah, so let's let's be direct. Sprinkle a little
bit of honesty in there too, and okay, so you're
bad in bed.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah, he's probably take it as a joke there.
Speaker 13 (27:08):
Well, yeah, I don't want him to take it as
a personal challenge to be like a huh.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
We probably should sprinkle a little bit of humor in
there too, just to lighten the blow. So if you're like, well,
slow down, Romeo, last time didn't go so well, you're
reading too far into this.
Speaker 13 (27:24):
Okay, or I just want to hand it off at
the door, like that's.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
It about last time didn't leave me wanting more? We're good.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:32):
I still feel like if you put yourself in a
short time window, like I only have two minutes, you
know something like.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
That got a help?
Speaker 13 (27:40):
Or now I think it might because I didn't say so.
He was soon as like I'm coming over tomorrow at six,
like I didn't invite him over.
Speaker 6 (27:46):
Okay, you can say I like the one that Brooke
said last time didn't leave me. What did you say?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I said, last time didn't leave me wanting more?
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Yeah, we're good, We're good.
Speaker 11 (27:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I feel like this is going to be really simple.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
That I hope he should read that and go, oh okay,
no worries.
Speaker 6 (28:03):
See at six, did you send it?
Speaker 11 (28:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:06):
Okay, this may be the most boring.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
UH want to right back, and he says, okay, it's
like I have.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
A great day. Okay.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
I mean that would be the smoothest textual healing we
ever did. But I can't believe I'm hoping for boring
as we continue. But if he responds to that when
we continue textual healing right after this hold on, we're
just showing us. We're in the middle of textual healing
with our listener Brianna, who recently found her ex boyfriend's
(28:41):
gold chain in her bathroom drawer, and the chain has
sentimental value because his grandma gifted it to him, so
she can't just toss it out or pawn it on
eBay like most of us would.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
And she's actually a really nice person. Yeah, I mean,
she's been much kinder to her ex than I would
have ever.
Speaker 6 (28:58):
Yeah, Oh, what would you do, bro because you said
you would hook up with him?
Speaker 11 (29:01):
Yeah, well, I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
That could also be punishment.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
But when she texted him to come by and get
his chain, the X assumed that was an invitation to
exchange more than just jewelry.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Well, because of what happened last time he stopped by.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Because last time he forgot his AirPods or something and
they ended up hooking up. So he is coming by
later today, which is why Brianna needs help making it
clear there will be no romance happening, not tonight, not
the next night, not ever.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
She's willing to give him the gold chain, but just
a handoff.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Yes, So Brooke came up with the text idea of
sending him honestly last time didn't exactly leave me wanting more.
We're good. Just get the chain I get.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I still love it, though it is it's harsh.
Speaker 6 (29:49):
Now that was the goal? Yeah, yeah, Brianna. Has your
ex responded to that?
Speaker 11 (29:56):
Yeah? He did.
Speaker 13 (29:57):
He did.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Oh gosh, have a smile in your voice.
Speaker 13 (30:00):
Yeah, he wrote, ha ha ha. Well I'm with someone
you know anyway, and she doesn't have any complaints.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
You both went in that sense.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
There you go, So he's not somebody else.
Speaker 5 (30:11):
Congratulate him and say I'll see it.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
And really he's trying to make her jealous by pointing
out that he has a new girl.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
It didn't work on us, though, but it doesn't work
on her because.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
No, I'm just pointing out, like the point of his
the ex boyfriend is trying to push back on you.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Clearly, Does that upset you that he's with somebody else?
Speaker 13 (30:28):
No, I just look, I just texted him back real
quick because he's just acting like a child.
Speaker 6 (30:34):
But we're supposed to craft one together.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
To text back to acting like a child. He was
just telling you that he's in a relationship.
Speaker 13 (30:40):
Well, I think you're right, though, I think he was
just trying to make me.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Jealous, pretend it's real.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
What do you what did you write?
Speaker 13 (30:47):
Oh no, I just wrote where did you find her?
The animal shelter? Like what.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
That's really?
Speaker 6 (30:55):
I mean, it is kind of funny, but it's.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Spirally.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Yeah, we don't want to get like into a fight
with him, right.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
You kind of escalated this.
Speaker 13 (31:05):
I didn't escalated. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't escalate.
Does he escalated by bringing up some girl?
Speaker 6 (31:10):
And actually, if we really want to point fingers, brook
is the one who came up with the first text,
and it was kind of sassy, and that started off
this whole chain.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
New girlfriend escalated.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I'me I think the more we get into this, the
more I'm storted to.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Feel that you still have feelings.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Yes you guys, Brooks projecting again.
Speaker 13 (31:29):
I just say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
miss brook No, I do not want to get back
together with him. I do not have feelings for him.
That is that is a big fat no.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Okay. I told you we should have said the fake
boyfriend thing first. He beat us to it.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
Now you've already sent the animal shelter comment. Has he
responded back?
Speaker 11 (31:50):
He did?
Speaker 13 (31:50):
Oh god, please.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Don't be something bad.
Speaker 6 (31:53):
What did he say?
Speaker 13 (31:54):
It's not bad, it's just stupid. It's like, if somebody
sounds jealous, I can bring her with me and you
can just act like adults and I get my necklace.
Speaker 12 (32:03):
I mean.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
Playing the mature card.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
That's what your guys fights were like when you were dating.
Speaker 6 (32:10):
Yeah, who's the anyone? And who's so mature to bring
your new girlfriend to your ex girlfriend's apartment and parade
her in front of you?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
I'm mature?
Speaker 9 (32:19):
Burn yeah bring it's like a sarcastic Yeah, totally jealous
of his I love this too much.
Speaker 11 (32:29):
World.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Okay, so what do we right back to respond to
that with?
Speaker 13 (32:34):
Actually already texted him.
Speaker 6 (32:37):
The point of this segment.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
You call this for help.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I don't care anymore.
Speaker 6 (32:44):
What did you say?
Speaker 13 (32:45):
I just I just said, please really don't bring her
over here. I don't need her over here because we've
already had the apartment's breaks for pest sprays.
Speaker 11 (32:53):
You mean about her?
Speaker 5 (32:56):
You are really good at burns.
Speaker 13 (32:58):
There ext I'm trying.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Well, shoot, now you got to pay for pest like
she's some sort of cockroach or something.
Speaker 13 (33:07):
Wait for him, right, yeah, Oh, trust me, believe me
he's probably worse than that. If he's dating her, she's
probably worse than that.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Okay, but you were dating him at some point, so
doesn't that make you on the same level as her.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Yeah, it makes it worse.
Speaker 13 (33:18):
Yeah, but you know he was batting out of his
league when he was.
Speaker 6 (33:20):
With me, and he's downgraded and pest all right, right, yeah, yeah,
oh yeah.
Speaker 13 (33:30):
He said, you got to be kidding me. He said,
she's not going to be with me, but I'm going
to bring my overnight bag just in case.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
What now, we went back to him hooking up with you, he.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Got he got off track there.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
Yeah, he's willing to take whatever he can get. Don't
write anything back yet, Brionna. Okay, don't don't write anything.
We want to help you craft this next text one.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I don't think this girlfriend even exists, to be honest,
I think she's made up.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
That might be true, Okay, it might be true, but
at this point, he thinks he's coming over and he's
gonna stay the night.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, because they're both being sassy back and forth. There's
like a tension thing going on.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
How do you stop the tension? Does anybody know, Brianna?
Speaker 6 (34:10):
What are your thoughts right.
Speaker 13 (34:11):
Now, like what are you Well, Like I'm thinking about it,
and I'm like, you know what, it's fine. I can
handle this, Like he can just come over and watch
a movie or whatever.
Speaker 6 (34:18):
But that's it. Now you're gonna invite him in to
watch a movie with you?
Speaker 13 (34:25):
Yeah, because then that way he can see is like, okay,
to the movie, and then he's gonna like close in
and I'm gonna be like, Pisa, you need to.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Go the next morning.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
In the ten minutes that I've known you, I know,
I think it'll be fine.
Speaker 12 (34:40):
I really do.
Speaker 13 (34:41):
I think if you can just come.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Over and you can take your shirt off, come inside,
and then nothing will happen. I promise.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
Watch him forget the chain after all this.
Speaker 13 (34:51):
Oh god, so that's fine. So I just sent him
the movie text, tell me I can.
Speaker 6 (34:54):
Come over every week, And you already sent that.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Well else you didn't have to do a lot of
work today, are you.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Okay?
Speaker 13 (35:03):
Look, you don't understand. I've already said, like, I'm not
gonna do anything. You're gonna come over to watch a
movie and I'm going to kick him the beep out.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
Oh yeah, there's gonna be a lot of beep that.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
You set those boundaries strong.
Speaker 13 (35:18):
Exactly, and so like just I'll just keep you guys
posted and what happened.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
Okay, I think we know what's gonna happen, but if
you want to call us and confirm it, that would
be great.
Speaker 13 (35:26):
You know what, you can say that, but trust me,
you are going to be shocked and amazed because I
am not doing anything. I'm kicking him out.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I shocked and amazed if that actually happened. I do
feel like she's going to find another item of.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
His In two more months.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
When you want your second date update with your ex boyfriend,
will be here.
Speaker 13 (35:44):
She has a sock for you, all.
Speaker 6 (35:46):
Right, so we okay, So at this point, we started
with you wanting to tell your ex boyfriend that there
is no chance of any romance. You could just get
his chain. Now we're inviting him inside the apartment to
watch a movie with his pants.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
But the din't kick him out again.
Speaker 6 (35:59):
Yes, yeah, you better not kiss. We're in a good place.
Speaker 13 (36:05):
Oh I'm sorry, but that sounds like a good plan
to me.
Speaker 11 (36:09):
As long as you're happy freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:12):
Well, I've actually got an update. Oh my god, I'm
an update from Brianna. She wrote to us. She said,
dear Brook and Jeffrey, thanks again for your help. Although
I didn't really need much advice from you, I really
appreciate you having me on the show and hearing my story.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Okay, she thinks she doesn't need advice, but she.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Says I wish she would have listened to her.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Yeah, I didn't even care, she says. F Yi, he
did come over. We watched a movie. Yea, and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah right.
Speaker 6 (36:45):
She does go on and say, but the next morning,
something did happen after he's spent the night. I held
off for a very very long time, though, So give
a girl some credit.
Speaker 11 (36:58):
That is.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
She almost what a full twenty four hours?
Speaker 11 (37:02):
Good?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
She just needs to lead into it.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Just get with a guy. She's lying to herself.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
She says, that was the last time ever, So I
hope he enjoyed it. Love always, your fan, Brionna.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Oh Man, I can't wait for our next update. For
three months and then hooked up again.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
I found a paper clip you left over here.
Speaker 6 (37:23):
Oh my god. But hey, if you ever need help
with texting, with your dating life, with anything, you can
always email the show. We'll reach out to that person
for you, Rookie Jeffrey in the morning, an insider at
a certain popular burger chain finally reveals the secret that
millions have wanted to know for decades.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Oh and intrigue Jeffrey.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Plus, just in time for summer, a brand new product
is at the market, and I'll tell you you can
rub it all over yourself. Just don't eat it, or
maybe you can.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Actually, I don't eat most things that I rub on myself.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
And one Florida mon boldly threatens to ruin her own
child's perfect attendance record in school for a very specific reason.
You're gonna find out why. All coming up in a brand.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
New TikTok click shot.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
They're doing it right now. Spin the wheel, give me
two t's, a couple k's, buy a vowel and solve
that puzzle. What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yea TikTok click shot.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
We're all winners in TikTok click shock.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I wanted why did I like that so much?
Speaker 6 (38:33):
Where we discussed the biggest TikTok videos from the past week,
We're gonna get right to your first TikTok click shock.
It's from a new ad that's popped up on bus
benches and billboards all across Miami and stouting a brand
new suntan lotion that went viral on social media. It's
called primarily Pure. Okay, what's inside of it is what
(38:53):
everybody's talking about. It claims to be poison free SPF.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Oh god, anything, this is poison on it?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
Like, okay, what poison free? Made with beef tallow?
Speaker 12 (39:06):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Isn't that beef fat?
Speaker 6 (39:08):
Yeah? Here's a picture. I'm showing the photo of the
billboards in my host and next to the ad you
could see a photo of a beautiful blonde woman underneath
texts that says the sun isn't poison but your sunscreen is.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean, I will it's really bad for the coral reefs.
I'm just gonna say that you need to get coral friendly.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I don't know about you. I don't really care about that.
I care about the reefs more. I mean, I get
a mineral based one. But isn't beef tallow isn't that?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
What is that fat?
Speaker 11 (39:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (39:37):
Beef fat?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Why is that not cooking you more?
Speaker 6 (39:42):
You have to just have faith in it, Brooks. So
what did the experts think of beef fat sunscreen?
Speaker 9 (39:46):
Let's listen let's talk about why beef tallow is absolutely
not a replacement for sunscreen.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Okay, why is this a bad idea? No UV protection?
Speaker 9 (39:55):
Beef tallow has an SPF of like zero, so you're
not gonna get any UVA or UVB protection, which we
know causes skin cancer, sun damage, pigmentation, and premature aging.
Speaker 6 (40:09):
I could use a little bit of premature aging though
on this skin, just maybe like a little bit older.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
It'd be great of Alexis and her little friends could
do it so that they would age faster than me
and we'd all look the same age.
Speaker 11 (40:19):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (40:20):
Yeah, So afterwards, people flooded the comments on TikTok. One said,
my great grandfather, a farmer, used to slather his arms
with bacon grease, thinking it would help keep him from sunburning,
and nope, just made him extra crispy. Yep, it is
so okay. There's jokes out there, But for the people
who've actually tried it, what do they say? They're not
(40:41):
sure if it works, but they're definitely attracting a lot
more bugs like me so much. That's a TikTok click shot.
You're next TikTok click shot. It's from a former chef
who got over one and a half million views because
he tells you exactly how you can make your burgers
more like McDonald's.
Speaker 5 (41:02):
Okay, are we doing beef tallow again?
Speaker 6 (41:03):
We just covered that's what we all want. And he's
not just any chef either. He's a former corporate employee
for the Golden Arches. Okay, so let's hear what he
has to say. I am going to divulge some information
for you. Nobody believes me. Just to confirm this magic seasoning.
They legally have to post the ingredient statement on their website.
It's just salt and pepper. There's literally no other things
(41:25):
in it. Eighty six percent salt, fourteen percent pepper. The Hamburger,
the mcdouble, the Double Cheeseburger, and the Big Mac. Same
seasoning is used on their quarter pounders. If you do
not think this is true, along with the beef being
all beef, go sue them.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:40):
Wow, that's confidence.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, that's a lot of salt.
Speaker 6 (41:44):
The secret ingredients are just salt and pepper.
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Is salt then, and no fraud.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I think he meant of the seasoning that Matthews did.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
But does that mean KFC has to post their secret
recipe if it's legal the I think.
Speaker 5 (42:01):
They've had to post the ingredients, but they don't have
to post the portion.
Speaker 11 (42:03):
O how much that.
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Well, if you go to the McDonald's website, it does
say quote prepare with grill seasoning parentheses salt and black pepper. Yeah, wow, salt.
Speaker 7 (42:15):
It's like our brains are tricky because that tastes better
than the burgers I make. If I put salt and
pepper and I grill a burger and take McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
You need to have a really thin that's the problem.
Speaker 6 (42:23):
That's probably this whole thing started when somebody put a
post out saying, I need to know what's the magical
seasoning McDonald's uses to make all their food taste so good.
You know, nobody expected salt and pepper.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I don't know what they using their coke though, it's
way better than anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Better. I've read about that. I read about that sugar.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Yes, no, it's better sugar.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
It's pure syrup.
Speaker 7 (42:45):
I think there's a size behind that.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
One person commented, I think they increased the amount of
salt on my mcdouble recently, probably more like eighty seven thirteen.
Speaker 7 (42:57):
Youerence rather than eight score tea, So next time with
the doctor and they're like, your cholesterols through the roof.
Speaker 5 (43:03):
I'm like, look the McDonald's people. Yeah, they're putting too
much salt on my bird.
Speaker 6 (43:07):
There was one wisecracker in the comments though, that said,
did you guys know that McDonald's only sells mcribs occasionally
because the grimaces are endangered? It's made from grimace meat, No.
Speaker 11 (43:20):
Wonder.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Yeah, it's so fatty and yummy.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
It's very rubbery.
Speaker 6 (43:23):
That's the TikTok click shot In your final TikTok click
shot from a Florida mom whose video went so viral
she actually got featured on the Today Show. Her name
is Patricia Horton. She has two kids, aged seven and twelve,
and her video blew up all because of a simple
question she tossed out to her followers.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Do you make your kid go to school the last
day of school? Do you make your kid go to
school the last week of school? I don't make my
kids go to school the.
Speaker 13 (43:49):
Last couple days of school.
Speaker 14 (43:51):
I don't to the point most of the teachers would
rather you keep your kids home anyway, at least around here.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
I have cleaned a lot of disks.
Speaker 12 (43:57):
That is what we did.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
The last week is school.
Speaker 14 (43:59):
When I was a kid, so what was the point
of sending me to school on the last few days
of school? But I'm not doing that with my kids.
Stay home byby this summertime?
Speaker 12 (44:07):
What time to go?
Speaker 11 (44:08):
What that? It is so late?
Speaker 5 (44:10):
I always did this. We had to go to every
day of school because the last day was fun. You
signed yearbooks.
Speaker 7 (44:15):
But I had a couple friends that every year their
parents never made them go on the last day.
Speaker 5 (44:21):
We would have to sign their yearbooks the second to last, naight,
So what it's.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Just teaching your kid if you think you did enough,
you don't have to follow your job through to completion
or that.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, like a kids, they just watched movies after May's fun,
that's fun. My kids die for the last couple of
weeks of school. It is so fun.
Speaker 11 (44:39):
Yea.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
They're doing field days, they're fun. You know what I
miss that you're doing choirs, they're doing art shows.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
Like it's all about celebrating all the accomplishments for the
whole year and really like you're really successful.
Speaker 6 (44:50):
Well you're not going to believe this, but there's a
decent amount of people online calling her a bad mom,
oh mom.
Speaker 5 (44:59):
On the No, No, people aren't judging on the internet.
Speaker 6 (45:03):
Yeah it's happening. There is one person who did come
to this woman's defense, though, saying kindergarten teacher here one
hundred percent support this. There is absolutely no teaching, nothing
valuable happening during the last few days of school. It's
all just cleaning, yes, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (45:19):
But the emotional the emotional learning that you take from
school is just as important as a booklor one, and
that is all part of it.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
What if you emotionally wrap it up a week sooner
and nobody calls.
Speaker 6 (45:30):
Yeah, speed the process. Those were your TikTok stories.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
For the day.
Speaker 11 (45:36):
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (45:47):
Joining us today is a world traveler whose name is
Bobby or possibly babbah.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
And they say they lived in Europe for a period
of time. Blah bla blah. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 13 (46:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (46:03):
What's about that?
Speaker 5 (46:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (46:04):
Did you live out Germany?
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Is there anything you miss about living over in Europe?
Speaker 13 (46:11):
Probably the food and the candy, and the candy.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Is different.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Anyone who lived in Germany would say the food.
Speaker 5 (46:19):
That is German has great food, got good breads, ms sausages.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
If you like meats and breads, I guess yeah, this
is America.
Speaker 6 (46:28):
Of course we love meat and bread Duh. You leave
the studio, go out and have a salad.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
Or whatever you like to eat.
Speaker 6 (46:35):
Let's get to the game here. You got thirty seconds.
Answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when,
you can say past. But you have to beat Brooke
outright if you want to win? Are you ready? Good luck?
Your time starts now. On this day. In nineteen ninety four,
Michael Kearney became the youngest graduate college youngest college graduate ever?
How old was he? Which organ in your body filters
(46:59):
waste from your blood?
Speaker 13 (47:01):
You shouldn't?
Speaker 6 (47:03):
In the Wolf of Wall Street? What actor portrayed the
main character.
Speaker 8 (47:08):
In that ash?
Speaker 6 (47:10):
There are only two states that do not border any
other's name.
Speaker 12 (47:13):
One Hawaii and Alaska.
Speaker 6 (47:19):
Wow, you went with Okay, well done, Bobby, World traveler.
Let's bring Brook back.
Speaker 5 (47:25):
Into studio here.
Speaker 6 (47:26):
And so, Bobby, do you have any summer plans coming up?
Any more travel you're going to be doing.
Speaker 13 (47:32):
I'm trying to get the money to get on a cruise,
a cruise to wear. I want to go to Fiji.
But anywhere warm or Alaska.
Speaker 5 (47:44):
Fiji, you fly to the east coast and then take
the cruise. That's true.
Speaker 6 (47:50):
Fiji is the other across the Pacific Ocean, Caribbean. Sorry,
what about a cruise off the coast of Africa?
Speaker 13 (47:58):
I would be great, but that I was bringing up.
Speaker 6 (48:01):
To Africa because we talked about them doing those Somali
boat tours where you can invite Somali pirates to come
and board your ship. No, okay, you draw the line
somewhere now, I know where it is. That's good to
know by it.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
I bet they have an open bar on those ships though.
Speaker 6 (48:15):
Yeah, you know what they do. All the rum you
can drink now, Brooke, it's your turn. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (48:20):
Your time starts now. On this day. In nineteen ninety four,
Michael Kearney became the youngest college graduate ever. How old
was he?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Nine?
Speaker 6 (48:30):
Which organ in your body filters waste from your blood?
Speaker 4 (48:33):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Kidneys?
Speaker 6 (48:35):
In Wolf of Wall Street? What actor portrayed the main character, Oh.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Oh my god, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaker 6 (48:44):
There are only two states that do not border any others,
name one in Alaska. What American filmmaker created Star Wars.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Spielberg that's not right.
Speaker 6 (48:56):
Hmmm. We'll find out if you're right or wrong when
we go over to the score with Jose.
Speaker 8 (49:04):
Patrol.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
You got to correct today.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
I had a bad day, Bobby and Brock. Yeah, I'll
take it.
Speaker 6 (49:18):
It just wasn't enough to beat Brooke today. Sorry about that, Bobby.
But here's the answers for everybody on this day. In
nineteen ninety four, Michael Kearney became the youngest college grad
ever at age ten.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Oh wow, I didn't it do it at nine?
Speaker 11 (49:31):
How late?
Speaker 14 (49:32):
I know.
Speaker 6 (49:32):
It's sad he only received a degree in anthropology.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Oh that's it. What are you gonna do with that? Kids?
Speaker 5 (49:41):
Everybody knows that you're not gonna.
Speaker 6 (49:43):
Get a job. The organ in your body that filters
waist out of your blood is your kidneys. In Wolf
of Wall Street, the main actor is Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
But it took me so long to get there. I
could picture of him, I just couldn't put his name.
Speaker 6 (49:54):
There's so many famous actors in it, Robbie, Matthew McConaughey,
Matthew mccar Only two states that do not border any others.
We only asked for one. You both said, Alaska and Hawaii.
Those are both right point for that, Yes, you both
get one bonus point. We got taking a score to
three to four. And the American filmmaker who created Star
(50:16):
Wars was George Lucas. So Bobby, it just wasn't enough
to beat Brooke here. But you do win a pair
of tickets to see the Seattle Mariners take on the
Cleveland Guardians on June fifteenth. That team Obile park.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
That yeah, that's Father's Day too, He's.
Speaker 6 (50:35):
Yeah, yeah, perfect, Bobby. Come back after your cruises, when
you're nice and rested, you can finally take brook.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Down us in your VAK picks so we can live vicariously.
Speaker 12 (50:45):
For sure with you.
Speaker 5 (50:47):
Don't miss the show, but have a good time.
Speaker 6 (50:50):
We'll be back to the wind Brooks Bock same time
tomorrow
Speaker 11 (50:53):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Welcome to the brand new full show.
Speaker 2 (00:01):
Thanks so much for being here at Sprick and Jeffrey
in the morning, and we had a lot of fun
ahead of us. We got a brand new textual healing
with one of our listeners.
Speaker 1 (00:07):
Needing help texting her ex.
Speaker 3 (00:09):
Which is always good.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Yeah, yeah, that is always.
Speaker 4 (00:11):
A fun one. I always saved mind is do not
call her? Do not text in my phone?
Speaker 5 (00:16):
Yeah you know mine is marry her?
Speaker 1 (00:19):
Oh but she do?
Speaker 5 (00:21):
Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
Sorry, we got some TikTok fun ahead of us, but yes,
we always love to highlight some of our favorite comments
of the week. Alexis, what are you seeing?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Yes, this will made me laugh.
Speaker 4 (00:32):
Zardrick said, I sit in my cubicle waiting for these
to go up every morning, like a crocodile waiting for
a gazelle in the savannah.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
What an analogy.
Speaker 5 (00:42):
So the second you uploaded alexis he.
Speaker 3 (00:44):
Pounces Yeah, every day, probably the first time.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
We love that.
Speaker 4 (00:49):
Thank you so much for being here. Please subscribe it.
It helps us a lot.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
And White Yeah, thank you that too, Jose And let's
get this full show started.
Speaker 6 (00:59):
How do you feel about your own name? It's Brook
and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
I like mine too. I found out it's like a
guy's name in other countries. Yeah, it does sound like
a rus Like this, you sound like a Russian male.
Speaker 6 (01:19):
That should make you hotter, if any. Most people have
kind of like a love hate relationship with their name,
Like maybe you wish your name was more common or
more unique, or it was easier to spell. Yeah, yeah,
it's like it's kyle q u E apostrophe I L
L E y e g h Kyle.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
Why can't anyone get Nobody understand?
Speaker 6 (01:43):
But according to a new poll, what percent of people
do think don't like their own name?
Speaker 4 (01:49):
Any guests, I'm going to say, yeah, think fifty Only.
Speaker 6 (01:57):
Six percent don't like their own name. I agree. I
think it seems awfully low. I expected way more self
loathing and hatred.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Well, no, I don't know.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
I meet people, I'm like, you just don't feel like
your name like, and then I rename them something in
my head and then I never people have never get it, like.
Speaker 7 (02:13):
You look like a Jason when they're very you know,
when they see me, well, they don't know how hispanic
when they see me.
Speaker 6 (02:20):
Well, four percent said they dislike it, two percent absolutely
hate their own. Meanwhile, forty two percent of people love
their name. Those are the ones who get it monogrammed
on their pillows and spell it out in led lights.
Speaker 4 (02:35):
Yeah yeah.
Speaker 6 (02:38):
Thirty one percent say they just like it. Nineteen percent
are kind of neutral on their name.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
How are you on your name?
Speaker 6 (02:44):
Jeffrey had absolutely hate it. It's the worst name.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
What would you have named yourself?
Speaker 6 (02:48):
I mean something cool like I was like Chase, Oh no, nice,
you're not so abrook and Chase, Yeah, I hate you.
Nineteen percent are just kind of neutral. They could be
named Dave or dishwasher or whatever. They don't care, that'll
answer to it.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Basically, just picked for your name.
Speaker 6 (03:09):
Oh I like that's badass. Now let's move on to
the shock collar question of the day with the man
who has a very unique name. Hopefully I pronounce it right?
Is it Jack? Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 8 (03:24):
Today is the birthday of actor, rapper and Boston legend
Mark Wahlberg.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
He could have read twice market.
Speaker 6 (03:34):
It's right somewhere right now.
Speaker 8 (03:36):
He's been awake for seven hours, he's done two workouts,
he's prayed, he's golfed, he's cold plunged. Jompa juice, and
he's yelled at himself in the mirror for eating a
car or about Jampa juice. And when he's not acting
or lifting weights to the darket two am, he's collecting
royalties from his Burger chain wallbergers.
Speaker 6 (03:57):
Yeah, oh got.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
The description of him is still killing.
Speaker 8 (04:01):
It is why Marky Mark has been in the entertainment
industry for almost four decades now, and that's why in
honor of his big day, we're doing a special on
the Mark or Off the Mark edition of twenty of twenty.
Here's how it works. You say number one through twenty,
I'll give you a fun fact about Mark Wahlberg. You
have to tell me if it's on the Mark true
(04:24):
or off the Mark false. Okay, we'll start with the
woman who's the Marky Mark of our Funky Bunch. That's
seven number seven. Oh, it says your Mark Wahlberg. Fact
is in nineteen ninety two, before his acting career took off,
Mark Wahlberg made extra cash by recording personalized motivational quotes
for a one nine hundred numbering yell stuff like get
(04:46):
up be somebody? Is that fact on the Mark or
off the mark?
Speaker 1 (04:57):
It's so good? I don't know if Jake just meet
it up.
Speaker 4 (05:00):
I know because it sounds like a number that Chase
would call over on the other side of the studio.
Speaker 1 (05:05):
Jeff would never do that, but his alter.
Speaker 4 (05:07):
Ego, Chase would call the number and listen, let's say
on the.
Speaker 8 (05:12):
Mark, Alexis says, that's true. On the mark of the mark.
It definitely sounds like something he would do. But no,
we made that up.
Speaker 5 (05:19):
Yeah, yeah, definitely sounds like something he do.
Speaker 8 (05:21):
Alexis, guess seven, Brooke. I need a different number from you.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
I'm gonna guess five five Brook Here.
Speaker 8 (05:27):
Mark Wahlberg fact is this. He once turned down a
role in The Fast and the Furious because he thought
the script was too slow and not as furious to
his liking as this fact on the mark or off
the mark.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Oh God, can I give everyone a tip today?
Speaker 4 (05:41):
He wrote like a memoir or something at like age
nineteen around.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
There and it is the funniest thing you can look
up on the internet. I would highly suggest it today.
Speaker 5 (05:51):
About this it's likening.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
Oh it's terrible, I have Oh it's the it's the ultimate,
not pretty like it can't go harder.
Speaker 5 (05:59):
He was super full of himself.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
That's why I think this is probably on the Mark.
Speaker 8 (06:04):
Brooks says, on the Mark the Mark, he was never
offered a role in The Fast and Furious, Jose, were
over to you. Five and seven have been chosen. Okay,
let's go eight eight, Jose. Your Mark Wahlberg fact is
this Mark Wahlberg got his first acting role playing a
time traveling janitor in a Canadian sci fi show. This
(06:26):
fact on the mark or off the mark?
Speaker 7 (06:29):
You know, it's when you're an actor, you always always
have the weirdest roles when you start, Like I swear,
I see Paul Rudd in the most random things. He's
been around forever, and he's in a commercial in the eighties,
and so I can see, like your first rule. Can
you picture.
Speaker 6 (06:47):
Mark Wahlberg doing a Canadian accent? I don't know if
he's able to do anything except his own voice.
Speaker 4 (06:54):
That's where I'm with you, Jeff, And I think Canada
usually picks Canadian actors for stuff.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
It's over any buddy else?
Speaker 5 (07:00):
What if that was his persona? Like Rambo is Rambo
in every country?
Speaker 7 (07:04):
Right, It's like, yeah, this guy, Like what if Mark
is this guy in every country?
Speaker 5 (07:10):
I think he is. I'm gonna say On the.
Speaker 8 (07:12):
Mark, Jose says On The Mark, Yeah, today.
Speaker 1 (07:16):
We believe everything about Marky Mark Gold.
Speaker 8 (07:19):
Everything's feasible.
Speaker 5 (07:20):
He's done.
Speaker 8 (07:20):
All that was totally fake. He got his start as
the front man of the music group Market Mark, and
then that really was his first That was the underwear thing.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yeah, his mom was not happy about the underwear thing.
Speaker 6 (07:30):
What underwear thing?
Speaker 8 (07:31):
Oh, I'll show you some h Yeah, you'll love it.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yees.
Speaker 8 (07:35):
Oh, Jeffrey, it's your return. You got to get this writer.
I'm winning Today's Plenty of twenty number eleven, number eleven, Jeffrey,
Your Mark Wahlberg fact is a follows. He was originally
supposed to play Linus in Ocean's eleven, but dropped out
and was replaced by Matt Damon. Is this fact on
the Mark or off the Mark?
Speaker 6 (07:53):
Linus is? Is he the nerdy one in that?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
I don't know. He's Matt Damon.
Speaker 8 (07:58):
He's the son of the He's always talk about his
parents judging his work. He's very not as confident.
Speaker 6 (08:04):
He's not the computer nerdy.
Speaker 8 (08:05):
He's kind of like ni.
Speaker 9 (08:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Yeah, don't you think out of all.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
The actors, Marky Mark and Matt Damon are easily interchangeable
to me.
Speaker 7 (08:13):
Yeah, they're both like attractive white dudes with the same
type of accent.
Speaker 6 (08:19):
Yeah, I mean, I think in the In the Ocean's
eleven movies, Linus is kind of like a neurotic guy
that's worried that like he wants everything to go right.
That feels like it fits Mark Wahlberg's personality kind of
on edge, like has to have things go right all
the time. I'm gonna say it's on the Mark.
Speaker 8 (08:36):
Jeffrey says, that's true. The Mark.
Speaker 10 (08:41):
He was supposed to.
Speaker 8 (08:41):
Be Linus but passed and did Planet of the Apes instead.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
What a choice.
Speaker 8 (08:46):
Jeffrey nailed it today when he won PL twenty.
Speaker 6 (08:51):
All right, so I'm gonna be no, not me. I'm
gonna choose who gets shocked while they sing good Vibrations
by market Mark get shocked, of course. I don't want
to get shaq Jose you probably know this one.
Speaker 7 (09:04):
I shouldn't have spoken up um the vibration, lack of
sun kiss man, you want to know, Hey, done this?
Speaker 1 (09:18):
I don't know that song?
Speaker 6 (09:22):
It was on points your shot collar question of the day,
got your phones tap coming up in just a few minutes.
Speaker 11 (09:28):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (09:31):
They say, in a marriage, if you want to maintain
a healthy relationship, you have to tell each other everything.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
Absolutely. Communication is key.
Speaker 6 (09:39):
Your dreams, your fears, your secret crush that you've had
on that guy from the radio with the sexy.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
Voice, you know what, talking about it.
Speaker 6 (09:50):
You gotta tell your spouse. But one of our listeners says,
there's no way he can tell his wife about the
one thing he's been keeping in his wallet for the
last eight years. It's a super embarrassing item related to
her past, and if she ever found out that he
had it, she might literally kill them. WHOA, you're a
(10:13):
married woman right now, look out, your husband may have
confessed in a brand new mass speaker it's coming up
right now. You don't know me confession. I can't take
back our arms. Mouse speaker Texas seven eighty five nine
two says I really want to go get a massage,
(10:34):
but I don't know how to tell if the place
offers massages or quote massages.
Speaker 5 (10:40):
Oh you know what I found this out look at
the hours.
Speaker 1 (10:43):
Oh that's it.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I saw one about purchasing one from their elderly father
and not knowing what they were getting to God.
Speaker 6 (10:54):
Yeah, this person says, I'm just worried they'll ask and
I won't know how to say.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
No, Like, am I not good enough for you?
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Have some boundaries?
Speaker 6 (11:04):
Yeah, On this show we offer a different kind of
stress relief, the relief of getting your secrets off of
your chest and out into the open, right here on
the mass speaker. Yeah, and also a little under the
table stuff if you asked nicely. And today we have
a guy who wants to come clean using the fake
name Keith. So, Keith, welcome, lay down on the table,
take your pants off. How you doing?
Speaker 12 (11:25):
Hey, Hey, what's going on? Everybody? That was too much?
Speaker 1 (11:28):
That that's okay, we understand your boundaries now, Keith.
Speaker 6 (11:31):
Yeah, So you want to just do a regular confession
today or you want to do a little something extra.
Speaker 12 (11:36):
Just a regular confession. That funny confession to me. So
I hope y'all think it's a funny confession as well.
Speaker 6 (11:43):
Awesome, that's awesome.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Usually people are really nervous, but I love that.
Speaker 6 (11:46):
Yeah, we can't wait. Voice changes on. You're the mass speaker.
Whenever you're ready, let's hear your confession.
Speaker 7 (11:50):
He's like, I stole someone's identity.
Speaker 12 (11:57):
I'm not the criminal onness, but somebody else.
Speaker 1 (12:00):
Okay, all right, what do you got keys?
Speaker 12 (12:03):
I've been married now for about twelve years. Just want
you guys know I love my wife to death.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Whenever you start like that, there's a button.
Speaker 12 (12:11):
Yeah, I got I got it into that. It's a funny, beautiful,
amazing woman, just pure joy for me.
Speaker 11 (12:19):
Man.
Speaker 12 (12:19):
And we tell each other everything in the marriage. I
feel like you should tell each other.
Speaker 1 (12:23):
Everything agreed, agreed.
Speaker 12 (12:25):
But there is one thing I would never tell. How
I would take this to my grave?
Speaker 11 (12:30):
Real?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
You won't even tell your wife's this.
Speaker 12 (12:33):
I can't tell her, man. And it's a secret that
I keep about her in my wallet and I've had
it in my wallet for eight years.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Now, what a secret about her?
Speaker 12 (12:41):
It's her mugshot photo?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
What wait?
Speaker 4 (12:46):
What?
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Wait? You keep your wife's mugshot?
Speaker 4 (12:48):
How would she not know about her own mugshot photo?
Speaker 12 (12:51):
Holdo, she's not killers, OJ sens and anything. I just
want to put that out there.
Speaker 6 (12:57):
That was definitely where my mind went immediately. You're like,
I love her so much, she's so sweet.
Speaker 12 (13:02):
You won't see her home dayline tonight, I promise.
Speaker 5 (13:05):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
What happened?
Speaker 12 (13:08):
So she had a traffic violation. She didn't appear in court.
Oh yeah, okay, so yeah, so she affled the pay
of court for this traffic violation. She forgot the date,
and then one day she finally showed up for it
and she got arrested. And I gotta tell y'all, I
gotta be honest with you. This mug shot. She's so
beautiful in this mugshot.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Wait, wait, you think she's hot in the mugshot?
Speaker 12 (13:31):
Hey, so you got to think a regular mug shot.
You're getting arrested. You don't have time to make up
or anything. Because she was going to court. She had
time to put on makeup. I mean, she looked so fierce.
So I printed it and I put it in my wallet.
I haven't hit it in my wallet.
Speaker 4 (13:46):
Yo, okay, just because it like gets you going a
little bit like you're batty wife in a mugshot looking hot.
Speaker 12 (13:52):
It's like you've been on Facebook and you see these
mugshots are like pretty people. It's one of those type
of mugs.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
If I was her, yeah yeah, wait, does she not
know you have it in your wallet?
Speaker 12 (14:05):
Oh she doesn't know. She would be so embarrassed. Oh yeah,
she'll make me throw it away. She would be so embarrassed.
Speaker 5 (14:11):
Well, what it makes sense? Like just knowing, like I've
been to jail, no matter what it's for.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
Your wife doesn't want you going around town showing her
mugshot photos to everybody that you know.
Speaker 12 (14:20):
Hey first, okay, so don't judge me. I do show
other people that, don't.
Speaker 11 (14:28):
You do.
Speaker 1 (14:30):
She doesn't want people to know that she was arrested.
Speaker 12 (14:32):
But she's so beautiful in it. I've shown in the Bartenders,
I've shown in the Uber Drivers, because peopoul be like, hey,
are you married? I'm like, I'm married. Check this out.
And everybody has seen in there, even like oh my god,
she's beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 6 (14:48):
In like a terrifying scary here's the thing.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
You're gonna get busted.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Somebody's gonna see her and be like, oh, you're the
bugshot hatie.
Speaker 12 (14:57):
That's the thing. I'm really good at hiding it from
her because she does. Don't get through my wile anything
like that. Like my daughter, I have a we have
a three year old daughter, and one day she grabbed
my wallet off the counter and pulled it out and
grab it real quick.
Speaker 6 (15:10):
Was your wife in the room, Yeah, my.
Speaker 12 (15:11):
Wife was in the room. My wife was in the room.
I took the picture and.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Ate it one way to get rid of the evidence.
Speaker 6 (15:25):
Yeah. Wait then then you got it back.
Speaker 12 (15:28):
No, I printed out another Oh, like.
Speaker 6 (15:30):
You have to recover it out of you know. Okay, good,
you didn't put it in there. Don't put that back
in the wall.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
What do you think your wife would do if she
found out you had this picture in your wallet?
Speaker 12 (15:42):
She would probably tell me to throw it away because
she would be embarrassed.
Speaker 6 (15:45):
Yeah, if she found it, then she would actually become
a murderer when she got an even sexier mud shut
photo book the second time.
Speaker 5 (15:54):
She won't show up for that.
Speaker 4 (15:57):
Classic wife that's actually really cute.
Speaker 6 (16:01):
Yeah, you're never gonna show her. No plans, no plans.
Speaker 12 (16:05):
Are showing it. I'm taking it to the grave, matter
of fact. On my when I'm dying, my lands words
will be like check the wallet.
Speaker 6 (16:15):
Oh my god. That's hilarious. Text in seven eighty five
nine two. If you have a confession you've been holding
on to, we can hid your identity master voice and
make you our next mass speaker. Phone taps coming up
right after.
Speaker 11 (16:25):
This, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning, Brook.
Speaker 6 (16:28):
And Jeffrey in the morning. And today we prank a
dad who volunteered to help set up for his kids
middle school dance. And you'd think if a guy's offering
to do such a nice, selfless thing, you wouldn't want
to mess with that, right, No, he should be celebrated. Yeah, no,
not with us. No, we're gonna prank him in your
phone tap right now?
Speaker 11 (16:49):
Another?
Speaker 12 (16:54):
Hello?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
All right? Is this Kevin?
Speaker 11 (16:59):
Sure? Is master?
Speaker 4 (17:00):
I'm speaking with absolutely This is Janet Throttle bamb I'm
with the middle school PTA, just calling to go for
a few last minute things before Friday.
Speaker 10 (17:09):
Oh, Mia, what's what's going on Friday?
Speaker 11 (17:13):
Hello?
Speaker 3 (17:13):
It's the big dance Knock knock?
Speaker 6 (17:16):
Anybody home the dance?
Speaker 10 (17:18):
Yeah, that's that's right.
Speaker 4 (17:20):
I got you who You got me scared there for
a second. Didn't want to lose our DJ?
Speaker 13 (17:26):
Lose?
Speaker 10 (17:27):
Why would we lose the DJ?
Speaker 13 (17:29):
What are you talking.
Speaker 1 (17:30):
About, fuddy? It's not funny.
Speaker 10 (17:35):
I'm not trying to be funny.
Speaker 12 (17:37):
What's going on with the DJ?
Speaker 1 (17:38):
Well, you're on the schedule. It's our DJ for the night.
Speaker 4 (17:41):
Hold on what and we are so grateful that you volunteered.
Not a lot of dads step up like hold on.
Speaker 8 (17:47):
I got to stop you there.
Speaker 10 (17:49):
I'm not the DJ. I'm supposed to be helping set up,
but I'm not the DJ.
Speaker 11 (17:55):
There's no way.
Speaker 4 (17:56):
Just like Beyonce, she also claims she doesn't DJ.
Speaker 5 (18:00):
Hold on.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
What that is the kind of humility we love from
our performers.
Speaker 10 (18:03):
Now, Okay, yeah, no, seriously, I don't mean be right.
I don't know how to DJ. I mean I was
I was informed that I was simply setting up tables,
chairs and decorations.
Speaker 4 (18:14):
Informing you now then, huh, because we've already printed the
flyers with your name on them.
Speaker 3 (18:19):
DJ Midlife Crisis like it?
Speaker 12 (18:22):
Wow?
Speaker 11 (18:23):
Really?
Speaker 10 (18:23):
DJ Midlife Crisis.
Speaker 4 (18:25):
Yeah, the glitter banner is getting laminated as we speak.
Speaker 10 (18:29):
A glitter banner.
Speaker 13 (18:31):
The kids are going.
Speaker 12 (18:31):
To be so hyped.
Speaker 1 (18:32):
I mean, how fun is that?
Speaker 10 (18:34):
I don't see this being fun.
Speaker 11 (18:36):
It's middle school.
Speaker 10 (18:37):
It's like I'm going to be transported back in time
and I'm going to be made fun of it all
over again.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Oh, we would never set you up for that.
Speaker 4 (18:44):
We even asked one of our sixth graders to bring
his equipment and assist you.
Speaker 6 (18:49):
DJ Skibbitty Skibbity DJ s Gibbety Okay, now you're done.
Speaker 3 (18:54):
Skimvity, that's okay. Two Skivity's is lit.
Speaker 13 (18:57):
Listen.
Speaker 10 (18:58):
I seriously don't want to disappoint the kids at all,
but if I have to do this, prepare for a
train wreck because it's going to be bad.
Speaker 1 (19:06):
So that's a yes.
Speaker 4 (19:08):
All right, Okay, listen, we'll take care of everything. Light
sounds Skibby. Skibby will be your hype man.
Speaker 1 (19:13):
He's great. Oh he has backflips and calls people.
Speaker 10 (19:16):
Bro, that sounds like a nightmare.
Speaker 4 (19:19):
Listen, you ordered two gallons of energy drink for your
green room. He's not going to be enough because you're
on for five hours five hours.
Speaker 10 (19:27):
There's no way I can d day for five hours.
Speaker 4 (19:30):
Oh no, it's not just you. Remember Skibbitty, your hype man.
Speaker 3 (19:33):
Yeah, you'll help you deal with all the breaks. We
know how those midlife bladders go.
Speaker 10 (19:38):
First of all, I mean, I'm kind of offended because
I'm not that old. But at the same time, I
don't know what music to play. What am I going
to get up there and play?
Speaker 6 (19:46):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (19:46):
I got your back, Bro.
Speaker 10 (19:48):
You just called me Bro.
Speaker 5 (19:50):
Hold up, you're sure right.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
All you got to do is throw my playlist down
on those ones and twos.
Speaker 10 (19:55):
Oh my god, I've got.
Speaker 4 (19:57):
Three different versions of Drops of Jupiter.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
We should hear it in acoustic.
Speaker 10 (20:02):
All right, this can't be real. Somebody has to be
messing with me.
Speaker 4 (20:07):
Someone definitely is just like I mess around with mister Brightside.
Speaker 10 (20:12):
Could somebody please just tell me what the hell is
going on? I'd like to know.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Man, you're hard Kevin. This is a prank phone call
and you're on.
Speaker 5 (20:19):
The radio right now.
Speaker 10 (20:21):
Oh my god, are you serious. There's no way.
Speaker 4 (20:25):
Yeah, your wife Shelley set you up for radio show
Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 10 (20:31):
Oh my god, I can't. I can't believe she did
to this.
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Man.
Speaker 13 (20:35):
You guys are awesome.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
She said you got roped into helping out with the
middle school dance this Friday.
Speaker 10 (20:40):
So yeah, I sure did. But nobody told me about
being a DJ.
Speaker 3 (20:43):
So well DJ Midwife, Crysis, your fans will wait.
Speaker 10 (20:47):
Don't forget Skibbity Skivvy or whatever the hell that kid's
name is.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
That's right, bro, The wake.
Speaker 11 (20:54):
Up every morning was funk Tap weekday mornings on the twenties,
Brooking Jeffrey in the Morning on this show.
Speaker 6 (21:01):
We're always trying to get people together, whether it's two
of our listeners for a second date yeh, or hooking
up our digital producer Jake with Brook's mom. We are
constantly trying to make love happen. Doesn't mean anything, Okay,
it's about love, Brook, and it takes a lot of
work doing it every single day.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 6 (21:23):
That's why. Thank god, we have a woman on the
phone who wants us to do the exact opposite. Oh,
she needs to make it clear no love will happen
between her and one dude who's coming over to her
place later, and this particular situation is extremely awkward for her.
You'll understand why she needs our help when we do
(21:44):
some textual healing coming up next, text you will healing textual.
Most people who need help texting our ninety six year
old grandma's who can't figure out which side of the
iPhone is the touch part. But occasionally regular folks need
(22:08):
assistance with texting too, when they're in an awkward predicament
and they aren't sure what to write to.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
One of our ninety five year old listeners.
Speaker 6 (22:17):
Yeah, might be, we might be. That's the whole reason
we created this segment textual Healing, where we assist listeners
of all ages, grandmas to newborns, and we help them
craft the perfect message. And who's emailed the show today
requesting our textual expertise or expertise. Her name is Brianna. Brianna,
(22:38):
welcome to the show.
Speaker 13 (22:39):
Hi, thank you. I appreciate you taking my call.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
You're welcome, Brianna, and we're going to be taking your text.
Speaker 6 (22:45):
Yeah possible.
Speaker 13 (22:46):
Oh I see what you did.
Speaker 5 (22:48):
Yeah, I'm really smart. We're really the smartest guy on
the show.
Speaker 6 (22:52):
So, Brianna, tell us about what's your awkward situation? Why
do you need our help?
Speaker 13 (22:58):
So I just don't know what to say, and I'm
hoping you guys can help me. So I had a
guy over for a date. That's not the problem.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
That is a good thing to say show.
Speaker 13 (23:08):
Let me just start that right there. Okay, but he
found a gold chain in one of my bathroom drawers.
It's a long story, but I look at it and
I realized it's my ex boyfriend.
Speaker 4 (23:16):
Oh yeah, dude, I can't believe your date was snooping
in your bathroom drawers.
Speaker 13 (23:21):
Well no, I ask him to get something out from me.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
Oh okay, okay, that's good. Is it expensive? Gold chains.
I wouldn't get rid of it that either how thick
was it?
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Was it like a thin one or what?
Speaker 13 (23:30):
Well, it's it's real gold, Like it's real. But it's
something I would have thrown out, except that his grandmother
gave it to him, like it's got sentimental values.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
To my gosh, you got to give it back to us.
Speaker 13 (23:39):
I know. But well, see now you're kind of getting
to exactly my problem because I texted him and I said, hey,
I finder change, you want to come grab it? And
he sends me back this text and he's like, oh,
sure you did. You can just say you want some
of this with like one of those little squirky winky Oh,
I see why.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
It's your ex Yeah.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But in his defense, you did say you want to
come over and grab it. That can you interpreted a
lot of different Really, I'm just saying, yeah.
Speaker 13 (24:04):
I did definitely set myself up for that one. And
part of how I set myself up for it was
that two months ago his AirPods were still here. We
worke up about three months ago, and after about a
month I found it air pods and I texted him
to stop buying grab him like a same kind of thing,
and he came over and we ended up hooking up.
Speaker 6 (24:19):
Yeah, okay, so there's precedence for this now.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
I mean, unfortunately is going to come over. It's just
good bound to happen.
Speaker 6 (24:27):
Okay, KPX is away from Brooks House, that's just definitely
going to happen.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I mean, that's why you got to meet in a
place like a parking lot or well park that yeah, parking.
Speaker 6 (24:39):
Lot with a gorgeous view of the city.
Speaker 11 (24:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 13 (24:42):
So I just I need to be able to text
him in a way that he knows is like, no,
that's not what I want. I just want you to
get your stuff, okay, And he's coming over at six tonight,
Like he's already said straight up that he's coming over.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I understand why his response was the grab it saying
then yeah it makes sense.
Speaker 6 (24:57):
Now, yeah, he's thinking that you're trying to set it
up again. But can't you just tell him like, no,
I'm just going to leave it under my doormat, I'll
be like away from home.
Speaker 13 (25:06):
I could, but I just don't wanted to get stolen, because,
like I said, his grandmother gave it time. So that's
why I didn't just put it in the mail, can.
Speaker 2 (25:12):
I ask, yeah, is there any part of you that
kinda wants to hook up with it when he comes over?
Speaker 11 (25:19):
No?
Speaker 1 (25:20):
Just jacket?
Speaker 13 (25:20):
Okay, No, I mean that's a fair question. But yeah,
if you've been there the last time, you would have
understood why I did not want you.
Speaker 1 (25:29):
What was the last thing that was said between you two?
Speaker 13 (25:32):
The last thing was that he was going to come
over a sixth and he said I'm going to give
you something of mine too.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Oh my gosh, yeah, it was.
Speaker 13 (25:40):
Kind of gross.
Speaker 6 (25:40):
And oh yeah, okay, so the wheels are already in motion.
You're trying to make it really really clear to him
that nothing is going to happen and there's no lingering
feelings there right.
Speaker 13 (25:53):
Like you're not coming inside. I'm just going to hand
it to you at the door. Peace out, Go have
a great life.
Speaker 5 (25:57):
Should be easy.
Speaker 6 (25:59):
Just able to say, Hi, I don't have a lot
of time.
Speaker 5 (26:02):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
I think you need more than that. I think you
need to say i'm short on time. I've got a
date at six thirty.
Speaker 1 (26:07):
Yeah, boyfriend already?
Speaker 11 (26:13):
Right?
Speaker 13 (26:13):
Does that not make me kind of sound like a
why do you care?
Speaker 1 (26:16):
It's your ex?
Speaker 11 (26:17):
You?
Speaker 13 (26:17):
You're right, You're right.
Speaker 6 (26:18):
It sounds like you're trying to make him jealous a
little bit.
Speaker 13 (26:21):
Like that's what I'm afraid of.
Speaker 5 (26:22):
Yeah, okay, then you say I poop my pants, I
have to change.
Speaker 13 (26:29):
No, that would probably take care of it.
Speaker 5 (26:30):
Yeah, let's hope he doesn't have a rebuttal for that.
Speaker 6 (26:33):
Can you be like really direct and say I think
you're reading too far into this?
Speaker 13 (26:38):
I mean, yeah, just be like you don't flatter yourself, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
Or you really want him to leave you alone?
Speaker 2 (26:45):
You say, well, last time was pretty disappointing, so I
don't want to go down that road again.
Speaker 3 (26:49):
Honestly, that's how my friends text their x.
Speaker 5 (26:51):
I would like every time was disappointing.
Speaker 13 (26:54):
And that would not be a lie.
Speaker 6 (26:56):
So yeah, so let's let's be direct. Sprinkle a little
bit of honesty in there too, and okay, so you're
bad in bed.
Speaker 3 (27:05):
Yeah, he's probably take it as a joke there.
Speaker 13 (27:08):
Well, yeah, I don't want him to take it as
a personal challenge to be like a huh.
Speaker 6 (27:12):
We probably should sprinkle a little bit of humor in
there too, just to lighten the blow. So if you're like, well,
slow down, Romeo, last time didn't go so well, you're
reading too far into this.
Speaker 13 (27:24):
Okay, or I just want to hand it off at
the door, like that's.
Speaker 1 (27:26):
It about last time didn't leave me wanting more? We're good.
Speaker 4 (27:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 7 (27:32):
I still feel like if you put yourself in a
short time window, like I only have two minutes, you
know something like.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
That got a help?
Speaker 13 (27:40):
Or now I think it might because I didn't say so.
He was soon as like I'm coming over tomorrow at six,
like I didn't invite him over.
Speaker 6 (27:46):
Okay, you can say I like the one that Brooke
said last time didn't leave me. What did you say?
Speaker 1 (27:52):
I said, last time didn't leave me wanting more?
Speaker 6 (27:54):
Yeah, we're good, We're good.
Speaker 11 (27:56):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:57):
I feel like this is going to be really simple.
Speaker 5 (27:59):
That I hope he should read that and go, oh okay,
no worries.
Speaker 6 (28:03):
See at six, did you send it?
Speaker 11 (28:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (28:06):
Okay, this may be the most boring.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
UH want to right back, and he says, okay, it's
like I have.
Speaker 5 (28:17):
A great day. Okay.
Speaker 6 (28:19):
I mean that would be the smoothest textual healing we
ever did. But I can't believe I'm hoping for boring
as we continue. But if he responds to that when
we continue textual healing right after this hold on, we're
just showing us. We're in the middle of textual healing
with our listener Brianna, who recently found her ex boyfriend's
(28:41):
gold chain in her bathroom drawer, and the chain has
sentimental value because his grandma gifted it to him, so
she can't just toss it out or pawn it on
eBay like most of us would.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
And she's actually a really nice person. Yeah, I mean,
she's been much kinder to her ex than I would
have ever.
Speaker 6 (28:58):
Yeah, Oh, what would you do, bro because you said
you would hook up with him?
Speaker 11 (29:01):
Yeah, well, I mean.
Speaker 1 (29:03):
That could also be punishment.
Speaker 6 (29:07):
But when she texted him to come by and get
his chain, the X assumed that was an invitation to
exchange more than just jewelry.
Speaker 1 (29:16):
Well, because of what happened last time he stopped by.
Speaker 6 (29:18):
Because last time he forgot his AirPods or something and
they ended up hooking up. So he is coming by
later today, which is why Brianna needs help making it
clear there will be no romance happening, not tonight, not
the next night, not ever.
Speaker 5 (29:32):
She's willing to give him the gold chain, but just
a handoff.
Speaker 6 (29:35):
Yes, So Brooke came up with the text idea of
sending him honestly last time didn't exactly leave me wanting more.
We're good. Just get the chain I get.
Speaker 1 (29:46):
I still love it, though it is it's harsh.
Speaker 6 (29:49):
Now that was the goal? Yeah, yeah, Brianna. Has your
ex responded to that?
Speaker 11 (29:56):
Yeah? He did.
Speaker 13 (29:57):
He did.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Oh gosh, have a smile in your voice.
Speaker 13 (30:00):
Yeah, he wrote, ha ha ha. Well I'm with someone
you know anyway, and she doesn't have any complaints.
Speaker 5 (30:08):
You both went in that sense.
Speaker 1 (30:09):
There you go, So he's not somebody else.
Speaker 5 (30:11):
Congratulate him and say I'll see it.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
And really he's trying to make her jealous by pointing
out that he has a new girl.
Speaker 1 (30:18):
It didn't work on us, though, but it doesn't work
on her because.
Speaker 6 (30:20):
No, I'm just pointing out, like the point of his
the ex boyfriend is trying to push back on you.
Speaker 1 (30:25):
Clearly, Does that upset you that he's with somebody else?
Speaker 13 (30:28):
No, I just look, I just texted him back real
quick because he's just acting like a child.
Speaker 6 (30:34):
But we're supposed to craft one together.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
To text back to acting like a child. He was
just telling you that he's in a relationship.
Speaker 13 (30:40):
Well, I think you're right, though, I think he was
just trying to make me.
Speaker 1 (30:43):
Jealous, pretend it's real.
Speaker 6 (30:46):
What do you what did you write?
Speaker 13 (30:47):
Oh no, I just wrote where did you find her?
The animal shelter? Like what.
Speaker 3 (30:53):
That's really?
Speaker 6 (30:55):
I mean, it is kind of funny, but it's.
Speaker 1 (31:00):
Spirally.
Speaker 6 (31:01):
Yeah, we don't want to get like into a fight
with him, right.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
You kind of escalated this.
Speaker 13 (31:05):
I didn't escalated. No, no, no, no, no, I didn't escalate.
Does he escalated by bringing up some girl?
Speaker 6 (31:10):
And actually, if we really want to point fingers, brook
is the one who came up with the first text,
and it was kind of sassy, and that started off
this whole chain.
Speaker 5 (31:19):
New girlfriend escalated.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
I'me I think the more we get into this, the
more I'm storted to.
Speaker 1 (31:24):
Feel that you still have feelings.
Speaker 6 (31:25):
Yes you guys, Brooks projecting again.
Speaker 13 (31:29):
I just say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
miss brook No, I do not want to get back
together with him. I do not have feelings for him.
That is that is a big fat no.
Speaker 1 (31:39):
Okay. I told you we should have said the fake
boyfriend thing first. He beat us to it.
Speaker 6 (31:45):
Now you've already sent the animal shelter comment. Has he
responded back?
Speaker 11 (31:50):
He did?
Speaker 13 (31:50):
Oh god, please.
Speaker 5 (31:52):
Don't be something bad.
Speaker 6 (31:53):
What did he say?
Speaker 13 (31:54):
It's not bad, it's just stupid. It's like, if somebody
sounds jealous, I can bring her with me and you
can just act like adults and I get my necklace.
Speaker 12 (32:03):
I mean.
Speaker 5 (32:06):
Playing the mature card.
Speaker 1 (32:08):
That's what your guys fights were like when you were dating.
Speaker 6 (32:10):
Yeah, who's the anyone? And who's so mature to bring
your new girlfriend to your ex girlfriend's apartment and parade
her in front of you?
Speaker 5 (32:18):
I'm mature?
Speaker 9 (32:19):
Burn yeah bring it's like a sarcastic Yeah, totally jealous
of his I love this too much.
Speaker 11 (32:29):
World.
Speaker 6 (32:30):
Okay, so what do we right back to respond to
that with?
Speaker 13 (32:34):
Actually already texted him.
Speaker 6 (32:37):
The point of this segment.
Speaker 1 (32:39):
You call this for help.
Speaker 3 (32:40):
I don't care anymore.
Speaker 6 (32:44):
What did you say?
Speaker 13 (32:45):
I just I just said, please really don't bring her
over here. I don't need her over here because we've
already had the apartment's breaks for pest sprays.
Speaker 11 (32:53):
You mean about her?
Speaker 5 (32:56):
You are really good at burns.
Speaker 13 (32:58):
There ext I'm trying.
Speaker 4 (33:01):
Well, shoot, now you got to pay for pest like
she's some sort of cockroach or something.
Speaker 13 (33:07):
Wait for him, right, yeah, Oh, trust me, believe me
he's probably worse than that. If he's dating her, she's
probably worse than that.
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Okay, but you were dating him at some point, so
doesn't that make you on the same level as her.
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Yeah, it makes it worse.
Speaker 13 (33:18):
Yeah, but you know he was batting out of his
league when he was.
Speaker 6 (33:20):
With me, and he's downgraded and pest all right, right, yeah, yeah,
oh yeah.
Speaker 13 (33:30):
He said, you got to be kidding me. He said,
she's not going to be with me, but I'm going
to bring my overnight bag just in case.
Speaker 1 (33:37):
What now, we went back to him hooking up with you, he.
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Got he got off track there.
Speaker 6 (33:45):
Yeah, he's willing to take whatever he can get. Don't
write anything back yet, Brionna. Okay, don't don't write anything.
We want to help you craft this next text one.
Speaker 2 (33:55):
I don't think this girlfriend even exists, to be honest,
I think she's made up.
Speaker 6 (33:58):
That might be true, Okay, it might be true, but
at this point, he thinks he's coming over and he's
gonna stay the night.
Speaker 1 (34:03):
Yeah, because they're both being sassy back and forth. There's
like a tension thing going on.
Speaker 5 (34:07):
How do you stop the tension? Does anybody know, Brianna?
Speaker 6 (34:10):
What are your thoughts right.
Speaker 13 (34:11):
Now, like what are you Well, Like I'm thinking about it,
and I'm like, you know what, it's fine. I can
handle this, Like he can just come over and watch
a movie or whatever.
Speaker 6 (34:18):
But that's it. Now you're gonna invite him in to
watch a movie with you?
Speaker 13 (34:25):
Yeah, because then that way he can see is like, okay,
to the movie, and then he's gonna like close in
and I'm gonna be like, Pisa, you need to.
Speaker 5 (34:30):
Go the next morning.
Speaker 1 (34:35):
In the ten minutes that I've known you, I know,
I think it'll be fine.
Speaker 12 (34:40):
I really do.
Speaker 13 (34:41):
I think if you can just come.
Speaker 6 (34:42):
Over and you can take your shirt off, come inside,
and then nothing will happen. I promise.
Speaker 5 (34:49):
Watch him forget the chain after all this.
Speaker 13 (34:51):
Oh god, so that's fine. So I just sent him
the movie text, tell me I can.
Speaker 6 (34:54):
Come over every week, And you already sent that.
Speaker 5 (34:58):
Well else you didn't have to do a lot of
work today, are you.
Speaker 4 (35:03):
Okay?
Speaker 13 (35:03):
Look, you don't understand. I've already said, like, I'm not
gonna do anything. You're gonna come over to watch a
movie and I'm going to kick him the beep out.
Speaker 5 (35:10):
Oh yeah, there's gonna be a lot of beep that.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
You set those boundaries strong.
Speaker 13 (35:18):
Exactly, and so like just I'll just keep you guys
posted and what happened.
Speaker 4 (35:21):
Okay, I think we know what's gonna happen, but if
you want to call us and confirm it, that would
be great.
Speaker 13 (35:26):
You know what, you can say that, but trust me,
you are going to be shocked and amazed because I
am not doing anything. I'm kicking him out.
Speaker 1 (35:33):
I shocked and amazed if that actually happened. I do
feel like she's going to find another item of.
Speaker 3 (35:37):
His In two more months.
Speaker 6 (35:41):
When you want your second date update with your ex boyfriend,
will be here.
Speaker 13 (35:44):
She has a sock for you, all.
Speaker 6 (35:46):
Right, so we okay, So at this point, we started
with you wanting to tell your ex boyfriend that there
is no chance of any romance. You could just get
his chain. Now we're inviting him inside the apartment to
watch a movie with his pants.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
But the din't kick him out again.
Speaker 6 (35:59):
Yes, yeah, you better not kiss. We're in a good place.
Speaker 13 (36:05):
Oh I'm sorry, but that sounds like a good plan
to me.
Speaker 11 (36:09):
As long as you're happy freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (36:12):
Well, I've actually got an update. Oh my god, I'm
an update from Brianna. She wrote to us. She said,
dear Brook and Jeffrey, thanks again for your help. Although
I didn't really need much advice from you, I really
appreciate you having me on the show and hearing my story.
Speaker 5 (36:30):
Okay, she thinks she doesn't need advice, but she.
Speaker 1 (36:32):
Says I wish she would have listened to her.
Speaker 6 (36:34):
Yeah, I didn't even care, she says. F Yi, he
did come over. We watched a movie. Yea, and nothing happened.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Yeah right.
Speaker 6 (36:45):
She does go on and say, but the next morning,
something did happen after he's spent the night. I held
off for a very very long time, though, So give
a girl some credit.
Speaker 11 (36:58):
That is.
Speaker 6 (37:00):
She almost what a full twenty four hours?
Speaker 11 (37:02):
Good?
Speaker 1 (37:02):
She just needs to lead into it.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Just get with a guy. She's lying to herself.
Speaker 6 (37:08):
She says, that was the last time ever, So I
hope he enjoyed it. Love always, your fan, Brionna.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
Oh Man, I can't wait for our next update. For
three months and then hooked up again.
Speaker 5 (37:19):
I found a paper clip you left over here.
Speaker 6 (37:23):
Oh my god. But hey, if you ever need help
with texting, with your dating life, with anything, you can
always email the show. We'll reach out to that person
for you, Rookie Jeffrey in the morning, an insider at
a certain popular burger chain finally reveals the secret that
millions have wanted to know for decades.
Speaker 1 (37:42):
Oh and intrigue Jeffrey.
Speaker 6 (37:44):
Plus, just in time for summer, a brand new product
is at the market, and I'll tell you you can
rub it all over yourself. Just don't eat it, or
maybe you can.
Speaker 1 (37:55):
Actually, I don't eat most things that I rub on myself.
Speaker 6 (37:58):
And one Florida mon boldly threatens to ruin her own
child's perfect attendance record in school for a very specific reason.
You're gonna find out why. All coming up in a brand.
Speaker 1 (38:11):
New TikTok click shot.
Speaker 6 (38:13):
They're doing it right now. Spin the wheel, give me
two t's, a couple k's, buy a vowel and solve
that puzzle. What's the phrase?
Speaker 1 (38:24):
Yea TikTok click shot.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
We're all winners in TikTok click shock.
Speaker 1 (38:30):
I wanted why did I like that so much?
Speaker 6 (38:33):
Where we discussed the biggest TikTok videos from the past week,
We're gonna get right to your first TikTok click shock.
It's from a new ad that's popped up on bus
benches and billboards all across Miami and stouting a brand
new suntan lotion that went viral on social media. It's
called primarily Pure. Okay, what's inside of it is what
(38:53):
everybody's talking about. It claims to be poison free SPF.
Speaker 1 (38:58):
Oh god, anything, this is poison on it?
Speaker 6 (39:01):
Like, okay, what poison free? Made with beef tallow?
Speaker 12 (39:06):
Wait?
Speaker 1 (39:06):
Isn't that beef fat?
Speaker 6 (39:08):
Yeah? Here's a picture. I'm showing the photo of the
billboards in my host and next to the ad you
could see a photo of a beautiful blonde woman underneath
texts that says the sun isn't poison but your sunscreen is.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
I mean, I will it's really bad for the coral reefs.
I'm just gonna say that you need to get coral friendly.
Speaker 4 (39:29):
I don't know about you. I don't really care about that.
I care about the reefs more. I mean, I get
a mineral based one. But isn't beef tallow isn't that?
Speaker 1 (39:36):
What is that fat?
Speaker 11 (39:37):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (39:37):
Beef fat?
Speaker 1 (39:38):
Why is that not cooking you more?
Speaker 6 (39:42):
You have to just have faith in it, Brooks. So
what did the experts think of beef fat sunscreen?
Speaker 9 (39:46):
Let's listen let's talk about why beef tallow is absolutely
not a replacement for sunscreen.
Speaker 1 (39:51):
Okay, why is this a bad idea? No UV protection?
Speaker 9 (39:55):
Beef tallow has an SPF of like zero, so you're
not gonna get any UVA or UVB protection, which we
know causes skin cancer, sun damage, pigmentation, and premature aging.
Speaker 6 (40:09):
I could use a little bit of premature aging though
on this skin, just maybe like a little bit older.
Speaker 4 (40:13):
It'd be great of Alexis and her little friends could
do it so that they would age faster than me
and we'd all look the same age.
Speaker 11 (40:19):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 6 (40:20):
Yeah, So afterwards, people flooded the comments on TikTok. One said,
my great grandfather, a farmer, used to slather his arms
with bacon grease, thinking it would help keep him from sunburning,
and nope, just made him extra crispy. Yep, it is
so okay. There's jokes out there, But for the people
who've actually tried it, what do they say? They're not
(40:41):
sure if it works, but they're definitely attracting a lot
more bugs like me so much. That's a TikTok click shot.
You're next TikTok click shot. It's from a former chef
who got over one and a half million views because
he tells you exactly how you can make your burgers
more like McDonald's.
Speaker 5 (41:02):
Okay, are we doing beef tallow again?
Speaker 6 (41:03):
We just covered that's what we all want. And he's
not just any chef either. He's a former corporate employee
for the Golden Arches. Okay, so let's hear what he
has to say. I am going to divulge some information
for you. Nobody believes me. Just to confirm this magic seasoning.
They legally have to post the ingredient statement on their website.
It's just salt and pepper. There's literally no other things
(41:25):
in it. Eighty six percent salt, fourteen percent pepper. The Hamburger,
the mcdouble, the Double Cheeseburger, and the Big Mac. Same
seasoning is used on their quarter pounders. If you do
not think this is true, along with the beef being
all beef, go sue them.
Speaker 2 (41:39):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (41:40):
Wow, that's confidence.
Speaker 1 (41:41):
Yeah, that's a lot of salt.
Speaker 6 (41:44):
The secret ingredients are just salt and pepper.
Speaker 5 (41:49):
Is salt then, and no fraud.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
I think he meant of the seasoning that Matthews did.
Speaker 4 (41:54):
But does that mean KFC has to post their secret
recipe if it's legal the I think.
Speaker 5 (42:01):
They've had to post the ingredients, but they don't have
to post the portion.
Speaker 11 (42:03):
O how much that.
Speaker 6 (42:06):
Well, if you go to the McDonald's website, it does
say quote prepare with grill seasoning parentheses salt and black pepper. Yeah, wow, salt.
Speaker 7 (42:15):
It's like our brains are tricky because that tastes better
than the burgers I make. If I put salt and
pepper and I grill a burger and take McDonald's.
Speaker 1 (42:21):
You need to have a really thin that's the problem.
Speaker 6 (42:23):
That's probably this whole thing started when somebody put a
post out saying, I need to know what's the magical
seasoning McDonald's uses to make all their food taste so good.
You know, nobody expected salt and pepper.
Speaker 3 (42:35):
I don't know what they using their coke though, it's
way better than anywhere else.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
Better. I've read about that. I read about that sugar.
Speaker 5 (42:42):
Yes, no, it's better sugar.
Speaker 1 (42:43):
It's pure syrup.
Speaker 7 (42:45):
I think there's a size behind that.
Speaker 6 (42:49):
One person commented, I think they increased the amount of
salt on my mcdouble recently, probably more like eighty seven thirteen.
Speaker 7 (42:57):
Youerence rather than eight score tea, So next time with
the doctor and they're like, your cholesterols through the roof.
Speaker 5 (43:03):
I'm like, look the McDonald's people. Yeah, they're putting too
much salt on my bird.
Speaker 6 (43:07):
There was one wisecracker in the comments though, that said,
did you guys know that McDonald's only sells mcribs occasionally
because the grimaces are endangered? It's made from grimace meat, No.
Speaker 11 (43:20):
Wonder.
Speaker 6 (43:20):
Yeah, it's so fatty and yummy.
Speaker 5 (43:22):
It's very rubbery.
Speaker 6 (43:23):
That's the TikTok click shot In your final TikTok click
shot from a Florida mom whose video went so viral
she actually got featured on the Today Show. Her name
is Patricia Horton. She has two kids, aged seven and twelve,
and her video blew up all because of a simple
question she tossed out to her followers.
Speaker 1 (43:43):
Do you make your kid go to school the last
day of school? Do you make your kid go to
school the last week of school? I don't make my
kids go to school the.
Speaker 13 (43:49):
Last couple days of school.
Speaker 14 (43:51):
I don't to the point most of the teachers would
rather you keep your kids home anyway, at least around here.
Speaker 1 (43:55):
I have cleaned a lot of disks.
Speaker 12 (43:57):
That is what we did.
Speaker 1 (43:58):
The last week is school.
Speaker 14 (43:59):
When I was a kid, so what was the point
of sending me to school on the last few days
of school? But I'm not doing that with my kids.
Stay home byby this summertime?
Speaker 12 (44:07):
What time to go?
Speaker 11 (44:08):
What that? It is so late?
Speaker 5 (44:10):
I always did this. We had to go to every
day of school because the last day was fun. You
signed yearbooks.
Speaker 7 (44:15):
But I had a couple friends that every year their
parents never made them go on the last day.
Speaker 5 (44:21):
We would have to sign their yearbooks the second to last, naight,
So what it's.
Speaker 2 (44:24):
Just teaching your kid if you think you did enough,
you don't have to follow your job through to completion
or that.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
Yeah, like a kids, they just watched movies after May's fun,
that's fun. My kids die for the last couple of
weeks of school. It is so fun.
Speaker 11 (44:39):
Yea.
Speaker 1 (44:40):
They're doing field days, they're fun. You know what I
miss that you're doing choirs, they're doing art shows.
Speaker 4 (44:45):
Like it's all about celebrating all the accomplishments for the
whole year and really like you're really successful.
Speaker 6 (44:50):
Well you're not going to believe this, but there's a
decent amount of people online calling her a bad mom,
oh mom.
Speaker 5 (44:59):
On the No, No, people aren't judging on the internet.
Speaker 6 (45:03):
Yeah it's happening. There is one person who did come
to this woman's defense, though, saying kindergarten teacher here one
hundred percent support this. There is absolutely no teaching, nothing
valuable happening during the last few days of school. It's
all just cleaning, yes, goodbye.
Speaker 4 (45:19):
But the emotional the emotional learning that you take from
school is just as important as a booklor one, and
that is all part of it.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
What if you emotionally wrap it up a week sooner
and nobody calls.
Speaker 6 (45:30):
Yeah, speed the process. Those were your TikTok stories.
Speaker 5 (45:35):
For the day.
Speaker 11 (45:36):
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 6 (45:47):
Joining us today is a world traveler whose name is
Bobby or possibly babbah.
Speaker 1 (45:57):
Wow.
Speaker 6 (45:58):
And they say they lived in Europe for a period
of time. Blah bla blah. Welcome to the show.
Speaker 13 (46:02):
Thank you.
Speaker 6 (46:03):
What's about that?
Speaker 5 (46:04):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (46:04):
Did you live out Germany?
Speaker 1 (46:07):
Is there anything you miss about living over in Europe?
Speaker 13 (46:11):
Probably the food and the candy, and the candy.
Speaker 5 (46:16):
Is different.
Speaker 1 (46:17):
Anyone who lived in Germany would say the food.
Speaker 5 (46:19):
That is German has great food, got good breads, ms sausages.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
If you like meats and breads, I guess yeah, this
is America.
Speaker 6 (46:28):
Of course we love meat and bread Duh. You leave
the studio, go out and have a salad.
Speaker 5 (46:33):
Or whatever you like to eat.
Speaker 6 (46:35):
Let's get to the game here. You got thirty seconds.
Answer as many questions as possible. If you don't know when,
you can say past. But you have to beat Brooke
outright if you want to win? Are you ready? Good luck?
Your time starts now. On this day. In nineteen ninety four,
Michael Kearney became the youngest graduate college youngest college graduate ever?
How old was he? Which organ in your body filters
(46:59):
waste from your blood?
Speaker 13 (47:01):
You shouldn't?
Speaker 6 (47:03):
In the Wolf of Wall Street? What actor portrayed the
main character.
Speaker 8 (47:08):
In that ash?
Speaker 6 (47:10):
There are only two states that do not border any
other's name.
Speaker 12 (47:13):
One Hawaii and Alaska.
Speaker 6 (47:19):
Wow, you went with Okay, well done, Bobby, World traveler.
Let's bring Brook back.
Speaker 5 (47:25):
Into studio here.
Speaker 6 (47:26):
And so, Bobby, do you have any summer plans coming up?
Any more travel you're going to be doing.
Speaker 13 (47:32):
I'm trying to get the money to get on a cruise,
a cruise to wear. I want to go to Fiji.
But anywhere warm or Alaska.
Speaker 5 (47:44):
Fiji, you fly to the east coast and then take
the cruise. That's true.
Speaker 6 (47:50):
Fiji is the other across the Pacific Ocean, Caribbean. Sorry,
what about a cruise off the coast of Africa?
Speaker 13 (47:58):
I would be great, but that I was bringing up.
Speaker 6 (48:01):
To Africa because we talked about them doing those Somali
boat tours where you can invite Somali pirates to come
and board your ship. No, okay, you draw the line
somewhere now, I know where it is. That's good to
know by it.
Speaker 1 (48:13):
I bet they have an open bar on those ships though.
Speaker 6 (48:15):
Yeah, you know what they do. All the rum you
can drink now, Brooke, it's your turn. Are you ready?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Yes?
Speaker 6 (48:20):
Your time starts now. On this day. In nineteen ninety four,
Michael Kearney became the youngest college graduate ever. How old
was he?
Speaker 1 (48:29):
Nine?
Speaker 6 (48:30):
Which organ in your body filters waste from your blood?
Speaker 4 (48:33):
Uh?
Speaker 1 (48:34):
Kidneys?
Speaker 6 (48:35):
In Wolf of Wall Street? What actor portrayed the main character, Oh.
Speaker 1 (48:40):
Oh my god, Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaker 6 (48:44):
There are only two states that do not border any others,
name one in Alaska. What American filmmaker created Star Wars.
Speaker 1 (48:54):
Spielberg that's not right.
Speaker 6 (48:56):
Hmmm. We'll find out if you're right or wrong when
we go over to the score with Jose.
Speaker 8 (49:04):
Patrol.
Speaker 3 (49:07):
You got to correct today.
Speaker 1 (49:10):
I had a bad day, Bobby and Brock. Yeah, I'll
take it.
Speaker 6 (49:18):
It just wasn't enough to beat Brooke today. Sorry about that, Bobby.
But here's the answers for everybody on this day. In
nineteen ninety four, Michael Kearney became the youngest college grad
ever at age ten.
Speaker 1 (49:29):
Oh wow, I didn't it do it at nine?
Speaker 11 (49:31):
How late?
Speaker 14 (49:32):
I know.
Speaker 6 (49:32):
It's sad he only received a degree in anthropology.
Speaker 1 (49:36):
Oh that's it. What are you gonna do with that? Kids?
Speaker 5 (49:41):
Everybody knows that you're not gonna.
Speaker 6 (49:43):
Get a job. The organ in your body that filters
waist out of your blood is your kidneys. In Wolf
of Wall Street, the main actor is Leonardo DiCaprio.
Speaker 1 (49:51):
But it took me so long to get there. I
could picture of him, I just couldn't put his name.
Speaker 6 (49:54):
There's so many famous actors in it, Robbie, Matthew McConaughey,
Matthew mccar Only two states that do not border any others.
We only asked for one. You both said, Alaska and Hawaii.
Those are both right point for that, Yes, you both
get one bonus point. We got taking a score to
three to four. And the American filmmaker who created Star
(50:16):
Wars was George Lucas. So Bobby, it just wasn't enough
to beat Brooke here. But you do win a pair
of tickets to see the Seattle Mariners take on the
Cleveland Guardians on June fifteenth. That team Obile park.
Speaker 1 (50:30):
That yeah, that's Father's Day too, He's.
Speaker 6 (50:35):
Yeah, yeah, perfect, Bobby. Come back after your cruises, when
you're nice and rested, you can finally take brook.
Speaker 1 (50:42):
Down us in your VAK picks so we can live vicariously.
Speaker 12 (50:45):
For sure with you.
Speaker 5 (50:47):
Don't miss the show, but have a good time.
Speaker 6 (50:50):
We'll be back to the wind Brooks Bock same time
tomorrow
Speaker 11 (50:53):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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