FULL SHOW: Friday, September 6th, 2024

FULL SHOW: Friday, September 6th, 2024

Curious if we look as bad as we sound? Follow us @BrookeandJeffrey:

Instagram

Youtube

TikTok

BrookeandJeffrey.com

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, you found us on a Friday. Welcome to
the podcast, Alexis. How many five.

Speaker 2 (00:04):
Hour energy bottles did you count in the trash can?

Speaker 1 (00:06):
I think it was eleven? Oh guys, fifty five hours energy?

Speaker 2 (00:10):
My god.

Speaker 1 (00:10):
Let's just hope Jeffrey's heart doesn't exclude it's his fuel
for his parody song. Today's song of the week is
in well today's podcast. There it goes. Let's start it now.

Speaker 3 (00:20):
You're ready for some good news bad news. Okay, it's
broken Jeffrey in the morning. Good news morning rush hour
traffic isn't really a thing anymore.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I mean, that's good for everybody else, but bad for radio.

Speaker 4 (00:37):
Well, wow, that's not the bad news.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
Oh it's not that we're gonna lose our jobs.

Speaker 4 (00:41):
Yeah, bad news. Rush hour now lasts all day.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Oh wait a minute, the window right now looks pretty busy.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
But I was like, yeah, a recent study found there
aren't as many cars out on the roads before ninety
anymore because people don't have to drive into work early
every single day now thanks to your flexible work schedules
and whatnot. Now, instead, a lot of cities are seeing
a sort of long lasting mini rush hour where things

(01:14):
get mildly congested all throughout the middle of the day,
from nine am all the way till five.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Pm, all day traffic.

Speaker 4 (01:24):
All day long.

Speaker 3 (01:25):
You would think spreading it out would mean there would
never be a heavy rush hour period, but nope, they say.
The reason is public transportation never fully rebounded after the pandemic,
so there's actually more cars out on the roads now
and more Traffic's.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
Correct, I think some days are worse choice where Thursdays
are the worst. So we're dying. You're doing bad We're
making bad choices.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
Yes, it's bad for you, it's bad for us, it's
bad for everything.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
This is kind of wild, like when I drive home
from work at two o'clock, when we go home, it's
been traffic, saying like I get stuck in legit traffic,
and that never happened before the panels.

Speaker 5 (02:01):
This means the company's gonna make us work nine to
five now, Jeff, Yeah.

Speaker 1 (02:04):
The shows all day.

Speaker 3 (02:06):
That would be the smart decision to do. But no,
we're not gonna make that choice. We're gonna stay right
here in the morning when nobody is listening.

Speaker 4 (02:14):
It's our face. It's our new normal, just like our
normal is shocking each other with the dogs. Jack Collar. Yeah,
never used to do that before in my life, but
now it's every single day and I love it. Jake,
give us our new normal.

Speaker 6 (02:29):
Today is the day back in sixteen twenty when the
Mayflower set sail from England with one hundred and two
pilgrims and thirty crew and a family.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
They left mid rush hour across the ocean, bumper to bumper, bumper,
so many boats.

Speaker 7 (02:47):
Yeah, if only the ocean was bigger.

Speaker 6 (02:49):
One of the most famous voyages in American history. In fact,
it was number two on a recent list of famous voyages.

Speaker 4 (02:56):
Number one was the Titanic. And everyone knows what happened
with the Titanic. That's how he imented. Crushed ice ran
right into the glacier. That's where it comes from.

Speaker 6 (03:07):
Crushed ice from nineteen fourteen, and the rest is history.
That's why to honor the Mayflower, we're doing a special
Famous Ships and Boats edition of.

Speaker 4 (03:22):
Twenty of My grandpa would go crazy for this. Second.

Speaker 6 (03:29):
Let's start with the woman who paddleboards around the big
party yachts and isn't jealous of them at all.

Speaker 4 (03:34):
That's Alexis. Alexis.

Speaker 6 (03:36):
What's the legendary pirate ship of Captain Jack Sparrow.

Speaker 4 (03:41):
You have to say it in a pirate voice too.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
I think it's the Black Pearl. You got to say
it in a pirate voice. You know what's a pirate voice? Uh?

Speaker 4 (03:49):
Black Pearl six. Don't you patronize me like said black Pearl?

Speaker 8 (03:57):
That is?

Speaker 6 (03:59):
That's you're doing well so far? Brooke the fictional boat
from the TV show Gilligan's Island.

Speaker 4 (04:06):
What boat is that?

Speaker 8 (04:07):
Oh?

Speaker 7 (04:07):
I remember this?

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Oh my god, you remember the boat song?

Speaker 7 (04:14):
I can feature vividly in.

Speaker 1 (04:16):
Black and d well it was in color.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
That show was in color. You watched it on a
black and white TV.

Speaker 7 (04:22):
The beginnings and black and white and the intro.

Speaker 4 (04:26):
Everything in black and away.

Speaker 8 (04:27):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Yeah, so I was a latchkey kid and that was
on in the summer during the day, like next to
chips and prices, right, ss A hoy.

Speaker 4 (04:38):
Said ss A hoy.

Speaker 6 (04:39):
That is incorrect. We're looking for the ss minnow know
we're over to Jose. Need a number from you please?

Speaker 7 (04:51):
Twelve? Oh it wasn't the song.

Speaker 6 (04:52):
Number twelve, the three ships used by Columbus on his boy.

Speaker 7 (04:57):
I only know from the song from boats and Hose.

Speaker 9 (05:00):
Nina the Pinta the Santa Maria.

Speaker 4 (05:04):
Santa Maria is correct.

Speaker 6 (05:05):
Yeah, we're over to Jeffrey number three. Number three Jeffrey,
a British ocean liner that served as a troop ship
in World War Two. Sounds tough, but it's a very
famous ship.

Speaker 4 (05:20):
What's the name of the ship.

Speaker 3 (05:22):
Well, I think I I'm assuming that my family, like ancestors,
probably owned at least a portion of the boat.

Speaker 10 (05:30):
You know how that goes.

Speaker 1 (05:32):
Is it docked now and they do performances on it?

Speaker 4 (05:35):
I may it might be because.

Speaker 1 (05:37):
My magician grandfather did a show on this close.

Speaker 8 (05:41):
Wow.

Speaker 4 (05:41):
Okay, they're on the Mayflower too. Yeah, you're on all
the famous boat. Okay, none of the name.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Might not come to me, but I feel it's like
the Carpenteria.

Speaker 6 (05:54):
The carpenter Rea is incorrect. I was looking for the
Queen Mary.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
I believe it's haunted.

Speaker 1 (06:02):
Now he's hanging out there.

Speaker 4 (06:06):
We're back to Alexis now.

Speaker 6 (06:08):
This ship was named the Constitutional Schooner and was owned
by a very famous American in seventeen seventy five.

Speaker 4 (06:14):
What was his name?

Speaker 6 (06:15):
Oh, a very famous American from seventeen seventy five.

Speaker 1 (06:18):
Oh no, it's gonna be some president or something right.

Speaker 3 (06:22):
We didn't have a president in seventeen seventy five. The
country wasn't even founded yet.

Speaker 11 (06:27):
But yeah, seventy six.

Speaker 1 (06:30):
I'm going to say, just think old rich white guy.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
If he's owning a ship, famous old I don't know
who it is.

Speaker 1 (06:37):
Do you guys know who?

Speaker 7 (06:38):
I would?

Speaker 6 (06:38):
I have a gas was President George Washington before he
was president?

Speaker 4 (06:44):
Is exactly right?

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Are you lying?

Speaker 8 (06:48):
No?

Speaker 4 (06:50):
Oh, my great work, Alexis Jose. Sudden death comes down
to you. You get it wrong, and Alexis wins. Today's posted.

Speaker 1 (07:02):
Washington again made a number from the Rose. Did you
killing boats?

Speaker 8 (07:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 7 (07:07):
Like fourteen.

Speaker 6 (07:08):
Speaking of killing boats, two US battleships sunk during the
attack on Pearl Harbor. One was the USS Oklahoma, the
other was the USS.

Speaker 7 (07:17):
What, oh, man, Do I got to pick a state?

Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah, that's that's what you do.

Speaker 7 (07:22):
If it's a trick question and it's USS Washington, d.

Speaker 3 (07:25):
C Province Puerto Rico, maybe US is wom I would
like that.

Speaker 4 (07:32):
We have options.

Speaker 7 (07:33):
Let's go with USS Texas.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
Baby Will Jose said, USS Texas.

Speaker 8 (07:38):
That is.

Speaker 4 (07:40):
Incorrect. We're looking for the USS Arizona.

Speaker 6 (07:43):
The Arizona and that means Alexis has won the famous
Ships and Boats of twenty.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
All right, Alexis or Queen Mary of this round of
the shock collar questions, you get to choose you get
shocked while singing Pirate's Life.

Speaker 1 (07:58):
For me, brook All, I mean your family the boats
full circle and I didn't do well.

Speaker 7 (08:03):
Brooks family also were pirates here.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
Yo ho yo ho, A Pirate's life for me. Wee pillage, plunder,
we rifle, A little drink up me.

Speaker 2 (08:12):
How is your whole wow?

Speaker 4 (08:16):
Of course she had to act like she was holding
a beer style and while she was sitting.

Speaker 1 (08:20):
Was also acting like I'm drunk acting that's totally not real.

Speaker 4 (08:28):
Let's get out of here. That's your shock collar question.
The day your phone tapps coming up in just a
few minutes.

Speaker 8 (08:32):
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
So how crazy is this? It's Brooke and Jeffrey in
the morning. Nostalgic school supplies.

Speaker 4 (08:41):
Are in this year? Really okay?

Speaker 3 (08:43):
Like what when I say in, I mean trendy in
that includes multi colored big pens.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Oh yeah, for sure?

Speaker 4 (08:52):
Cool t I eighty four calculators.

Speaker 2 (08:55):
Cool wait they're using those?

Speaker 1 (08:57):
I guess they would have to or those are really expensive? One?
Oh yeah, those are for the classes you were never.

Speaker 7 (09:06):
Much you have to get.

Speaker 3 (09:06):
Also, crapper keepers the coolest.

Speaker 1 (09:11):
Dude five star is still killing it in the school section.
I'm serious.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
Also, cell phones are out beepers back in Yes, Oh my.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
God, I need to buy my old pagers.

Speaker 4 (09:23):
I'm just kidding. That's not true, but I love you excited.

Speaker 3 (09:27):
But seriously, more schools are banning cell phones, not just
to get kids to pay attention in class, but so
that they'll actually interact with their peers.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Are high put it in a pocket at the front
of every classroom. Actually, it's becoming a law all over
the country.

Speaker 4 (09:43):
If you don't, the kids just won't talk or look
at each other. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:46):
Well, I reckon read this whole thing that during the
pandemic they forgot how to socialize and then they never remember.

Speaker 4 (09:53):
Yeah, me too sometimes.

Speaker 3 (09:56):
But let's not stop there. What about back to school
fashion right now?

Speaker 1 (10:00):
Oh my god, you straight out of nineteen ninety Yoga
pants and leggings are out.

Speaker 3 (10:05):
Sweatpants and loose denim jackets in Okay. Number one hot
clothing item for teens Abercrombie's popover.

Speaker 4 (10:14):
Hoodie in Camo.

Speaker 1 (10:16):
Oh, I have a picture of AB's Camo is so cute?

Speaker 7 (10:24):
Was like, Oh, I forgot about these.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
It's camo. I can't see it.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
Stanley cups are out.

Speaker 1 (10:29):
Okay, that's old.

Speaker 4 (10:30):
Mom drinking stuff. What's in? Oh wala?

Speaker 3 (10:33):
And hydro flask cups?

Speaker 4 (10:36):
If you aren't cup shaming other people, are you even cool?

Speaker 5 (10:40):
I'm going to have a paper cup with coffee and
right now, yeah, gross.

Speaker 7 (10:43):
Sorry.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
And finally, factual news stories are out.

Speaker 4 (10:49):
Laser Stories is.

Speaker 3 (10:52):
You know where the cool kids are going to be
coming up next? Brand new Laser stories be there. Unless
you drink from a Stanley, then go to Ben Shapina
was podcast.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
We'll see you in a few minutes.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
It's the radio segment that's been working for years, spending
a lot of money on a cool concept.

Speaker 4 (11:13):
Is it fast food drive throughs for dogs? They got
the service part and the food all worked out. It's
just teaching the dogs how to drive.

Speaker 7 (11:23):
I want to see a dog in track.

Speaker 4 (11:24):
That's the sticking part.

Speaker 1 (11:26):
I trust the dog behind the wheelmore than Alexis.

Speaker 4 (11:28):
Yes, Once for over, the once over the hump, though
it's going to be taken off with Laser Stories. The
segment where we read weird news stories around the globe
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser
and there's other dog. Bad daddies, just don't this First
Lazer stories out.

Speaker 3 (11:42):
Of Prince William County, Virginia. Twenty four year old man
named Aaron Andrews got married a few months ago, and
even though he was starting a new life with his wife, yeah,
he was broke and.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Happens, especially when you're newly married.

Speaker 4 (11:59):
Yeah, they both moved into his father's basement.

Speaker 7 (12:03):
You know what, It's okay, And it's a couple things.
It's just fine.

Speaker 1 (12:07):
Not what you imagine. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, you'll get
through it.

Speaker 3 (12:11):
Because Aaron's dad is an avid lottery player and recently
bought a ticket for the Virginia Lotteries Cash for Life drawing,
and wouldn't you know, it ended up being the grand
prize winner, Dad, and the prize the prize for that
was a choice of either one thousand dollars every week

(12:33):
for life or a one time cash option of a
million bucks.

Speaker 7 (12:38):
So that's actually a hard decision.

Speaker 3 (12:40):
Instead of just choosing that himself, Dad gave the ticket
to Aaron as a wedding present.

Speaker 7 (12:48):
Gosh, Dad can't.

Speaker 1 (12:50):
Put him in old folks home now. Yeah, I take
care of dad.

Speaker 4 (12:54):
Aaron was floored by his dad's generous gift. Then he
chose the cash option, which made it a one million
dollar wedding present.

Speaker 12 (13:02):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (13:03):
When he redeemed the ticket, he said, quote, I have
a great father who has done nothing but look out
for me. As for the dad, he told news reporters
that this was the best way to get him out
of his basement.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
That one can buy a two bedroom apartment.

Speaker 3 (13:20):
I don't know, because Aaron said he wants to buy
a new home with his new bride.

Speaker 7 (13:24):
All right, bro, you're gonna be right back in.

Speaker 4 (13:26):
Dad game, low, Aaron.

Speaker 3 (13:29):
This next Lazer story is out of Florida. A fifty
three year old man named John Sturgeon was driving around
in his souped up Dodge Charger when a guy in
another car waved and told him that he had a
sweet ride.

Speaker 4 (13:45):
Well, John responded to the compliment by putting.

Speaker 3 (13:47):
His car in park, walking up to the other guy's
driver's side window, and punching him straight in the face.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
Really wanted that to end in a hug.

Speaker 4 (13:57):
Jeff, you coming on to mag girl, I'll show you.

Speaker 1 (14:02):
I don't know what toxic I mean when he's driving
the charger.

Speaker 3 (14:08):
Guys, dash cam got it on video. You can hear
John ask if he thinks he's tough, the guy responseing,
all I was trying to tell you was nice car, bro.
It's obvious. He was very confused by the reaction it got.

Speaker 7 (14:23):
It's better than nice.

Speaker 3 (14:24):
John hopped back in his charger and drove off, but
the dash cam got a clear shot of his license
plate and cops were able to id him.

Speaker 1 (14:34):
Did they ever figure out why you're so mad?

Speaker 6 (14:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (14:37):
Last year they hadn't tracked him down yet, but people
online did. They found his Facebook page, where he has
already posted several shots of his car, so they've been
leaving comments on it, like.

Speaker 4 (14:49):
Nice car, bro. This is the car that can't take
a compliment, savage.

Speaker 7 (14:56):
What did he do when someone says not nice car?

Speaker 12 (15:00):
Now?

Speaker 3 (15:01):
This next laser story is out of Drive Through Dining headquarters.
There's big time rumors out there that the fast food
giant Wendy's will reportedly add the SpongeBob famous Krabby patty
to their menu.

Speaker 7 (15:14):
Oh my god, that'd be the most brilliant thing ever.
I would buy one immediately.

Speaker 4 (15:18):
And we know that because a memo was leaked online
saying the Krabby Patty Wi launch in celebration of the
twenty fifth anniversary of the hit Nickelodeon animated series SpongeBob
SquarePants Crazy.

Speaker 7 (15:31):
They gotta give toys and stuff.

Speaker 3 (15:32):
And if you've never seen the show, it might be
different than what you're thinking because there's no crab in
a Krabby Patty.

Speaker 7 (15:39):
Oh, that's true, people can think of.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
But it's a premium cheeseburger top with fresh produce and
secret Krabby Patty sauce.

Speaker 5 (15:47):
But like if SpongeBob doesn't cook it, it's not gonna
be peek Krabby Patty.

Speaker 1 (15:52):
Do you think all the cooks have to dress this SpongeBob.

Speaker 3 (15:57):
Releast straps sponges to their bodies while they cook it.
Wendy's will also launch an all new SpongeBob inspired frosty
called Pineapple under the Sea, which is vanilla swirled with
pineapple mango puree. Again, even though this is still a rumor,
it seems true and if it is, they'll be at

(16:19):
Wendy's locations on October eighth through the beginning of November.

Speaker 1 (16:23):
How much do you.

Speaker 5 (16:23):
Think, mister Crabs is allowing them to sell for because
he you know, he's.

Speaker 7 (16:27):
A penny picture.

Speaker 4 (16:28):
Yeah this economy.

Speaker 3 (16:31):
Yeah maybe maybe Brook you need to do a Krabby
Patty challenge, some sort of fast food burger thing questions.

Speaker 1 (16:37):
Wendy's is my hands down favorite favorite fast food restaurant.
I will I will not ruin it for right. I
love those square patties so much.

Speaker 4 (16:51):
It's like, oh that makes sense, square patties for SpongeBob
square Pants took to the end of the to finally understand.
Good job, Wendy's.

Speaker 1 (17:02):
Maybe it'll be in the actual media release when they
actually anoun this.

Speaker 3 (17:05):
Next Lazer Stories out of Luxury Lands. I'm not joking
when I say this, but Lamborghini is releasing its first
baby stroller.

Speaker 12 (17:17):
Jack.

Speaker 4 (17:18):
Here's the photos.

Speaker 3 (17:19):
They're billing it as the world's most exclusive pushchair for
parents and or babies who want to discover the exhilarating
fusion of luxury, fabric and precision engineering.

Speaker 1 (17:30):
This looks exactly like every other stroller that I've ever seen,
except it has a Lamborghini logo on the handle.

Speaker 7 (17:36):
I just hope they have a little key bop so
the baby can hold.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
It around little Lamborghini jacket.

Speaker 4 (17:45):
And how much they're going to cost. Likely in the
thousands of dollars.

Speaker 1 (17:49):
Lamborghini was cheap, and.

Speaker 3 (17:51):
Lamborghini says they're producing an extremely limited number of them,
so you should sign up to get in line if
you really want one.

Speaker 7 (17:59):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (18:00):
I just have one question, though, if you buy this,
does it mean your baby has small junk and you're
compensating for I'm asking for a friend because he recently
bought a Lambeau. Definitely not compensating. He just lets the
luxury floor masks how they feel on his shelf. And
that time means Laser Stories has come to an end
for the day.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
We'll do it again, same time on Monday.

Speaker 8 (18:22):
Frooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 4 (18:24):
If you ask any teacher what's the number one thing
you love about your job? What do you think they
would say? The excellent pay, the endless hours of grading
homework every single night.

Speaker 7 (18:37):
Wow, that's fine.

Speaker 2 (18:39):
I don't know that those would be up there, jeff Well,
why would they ask for?

Speaker 1 (18:43):
Maybe it's all the red tape they have to go
through just to get stuffing a crew.

Speaker 4 (18:47):
Ah, that is so fun, you know.

Speaker 3 (18:50):
If I had to guess, I bet the teacher's number
one favorite thing is the overbearing parents who demand they
change everything in their class just for their child.

Speaker 4 (19:00):
Oh they love that luckily.

Speaker 3 (19:03):
A brand new survey asked educators from around the country
to share the most unhinged requests parents have ever given
to their school. And you won't believe what one mom
wanted to come in and feed her child every day.

Speaker 4 (19:18):
You're gonna hear it coming up. Kids all over the
country are finally back in school. That can only mean
one thing.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
It's the return of annoying parents making teachers jobs way
harder than they need to be.

Speaker 4 (19:34):
It's Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
And look, I know you mean well when you emailed
your kid's teacher asking if they can have an extra
recess to burn off the fourteen sugary cereals you fed
them that morning. But parents, have you ever stopped to
think maybe you're the problem, Maybe.

Speaker 4 (19:50):
That was your fault.

Speaker 3 (19:54):
New survey asked teachers from all fifty states for the
most unhinged request parents have ever made. Well, let's get
right to the teacher responses. This one says, I had
a parent email me after the first week of school.
She said her child came home crying and was completely
lost in class.

Speaker 1 (20:15):
That happen the first week. It can be scary.

Speaker 4 (20:17):
Why because I wrote on the chalkboard using my left
hand and it was too confusing for her right handed child.
So she asked if I could switch hands while teaching.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Oh yeah, yeah, let me just do that, let me
relearn how my brain works.

Speaker 4 (20:34):
She does have a point, oh does she?

Speaker 2 (20:36):
Yeah, left handers get out hitler.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
Famously left handed. So if you want to teach the
kids hitting the style, I guess that's up to you.
It is a free country.

Speaker 1 (20:45):
Is that actually a fact?

Speaker 4 (20:46):
That's true?

Speaker 3 (20:47):
Famously left handed, So careful what you're teaching your children anyway.
Another teacher said, I've been in education for over a decade,
and hands down, the craziest question I ever received is
when would be a good time for me to come
into school to breastfeed my son.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
I teach third grade? Oh my god, Brook, what grade
is your son in?

Speaker 1 (21:11):
Second?

Speaker 4 (21:12):
Okay, so it's still acceptable at second grade grade?

Speaker 1 (21:15):
Mommy's coming during second recess? By the buddy bed, There.

Speaker 4 (21:23):
Is no way, This teacher rode.

Speaker 3 (21:25):
We had a family who just moved their child from
a small private school into a large public school, and
before the first day of fourth grade, they asked if
I could prepare their son a cup of hot tea.

Speaker 4 (21:37):
Each morning when he arrives. They had a lot of
rude awakenings that year. Yeah, do they not.

Speaker 1 (21:44):
Do the tea? Doesn't happen in public school. I know
you didn't go to public school, but.

Speaker 4 (21:51):
Yeah, no, wonder the test scores are so much lower.

Speaker 1 (21:58):
Now we ended up in the same place, Jeff, So
I don't know how that private school worked out for you.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
School, this teacher wrote.

Speaker 3 (22:06):
One mother really thought she was making me a great
offer when she told me she'd pay forty bucks a
month if I would make her child lunch for him
every day and bring it to school. She said, I
know teachers are poor, so the extra two dollars per
meal could be really beneficial to me.

Speaker 1 (22:23):
Oh my god, it's so insulting to say that.

Speaker 4 (22:27):
It is so much in God, but I mean, take
the free money. Sure.

Speaker 3 (22:32):
These are the most bizarre and unhinged requests that parents
have ever made to teachers at their schools.

Speaker 7 (22:38):
Can I say mine? Like you guys know.

Speaker 4 (22:40):
This is from your mom to your teacher.

Speaker 1 (22:43):
Was unhinged?

Speaker 7 (22:44):
Mom My mom did this?

Speaker 5 (22:45):
I have extreme add And when I was in I
want to say fourth grade, I was playing little league
baseball and I'm always distracted. We're had to do a test,
so I had permission to get my ball and glove
and go outside and throw the ball against the building
a tennis ball and play baseball.

Speaker 7 (23:04):
And just myself for.

Speaker 1 (23:05):
Fifteen minutes and miss all of class.

Speaker 5 (23:08):
And no because then I had permission to stay late
after class because I needed more time.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
So all the time I need it.

Speaker 7 (23:15):
On my test, it was great.

Speaker 5 (23:17):
So I highly recommend you get lawyers involved in your
children's lives. Well, my mom's always like, yeah, well, you know,
we know the eighty A Act, and I know a
lot of lawyers, so they'll do whatever you want.

Speaker 1 (23:30):
Yeah, and I'm sure you're the only kid in school
that had adds.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Yeah, throwing a baseball ball, Jose was patient zero for
eighty Yeah. This teacher wrote in there's a lot of
kids who need extra help regulating their emotions in elementary school.

Speaker 1 (23:45):
We're going back to Jose's story.

Speaker 3 (23:48):
There's a different one that says one mother told me
that when her son gets worked up, he likes to
be rubbed down with vanilla scented lotion and said she
was sending a big bottle along with her kid.

Speaker 7 (24:02):
Smell the vanilla. Just smell the vanilla.

Speaker 1 (24:06):
You have the kid take a shirt off to get.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
What do you do?

Speaker 1 (24:11):
You don't.

Speaker 4 (24:14):
It's so bold. And another one says one year, a
dad actually told me you can't penalize my son for
plagiarizing his science fare project because I did that part
for him. So it's my fault.

Speaker 1 (24:29):
It's my work, not his.

Speaker 4 (24:32):
Yeah, dad of the year.

Speaker 3 (24:34):
Right, we're talking about the most bizarre and unhinged requests
that parents have ever made to their teachers.

Speaker 1 (24:40):
They are they're serving right now.

Speaker 3 (24:43):
This one says, I got an email from a mother saying,
will you please keep a roll of Charman ultrasoft in
the classroom for my son so he could use it
for bathroom trips. He doesn't like the school issued toilet
paper that they have in the bathrooms.

Speaker 1 (24:58):
Due I actually had this cover station with my kid
last year. He was in first grade, and he's like,
I wait till I get oh mom. Yeah, he goes
that toilet paper is rough, and it's like.

Speaker 7 (25:10):
It's like not even single play, it's like a quarter.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
Again, this is public school jeff little yeah.

Speaker 4 (25:17):
Right, and a butler in every bathroom.

Speaker 10 (25:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (25:22):
Finally, the number one most ridiculous, unhinged thing a parent
has ever said to a school faculty member. This one
says I had a freshman's dad complained to the principle
about me. He said, it was unacceptable for me to
be that heavily pregnant while at school because it reminds
all the young male students of what I had been

(25:42):
doing to make that happen.

Speaker 7 (25:44):
Oh, this isn't the grossest projection. You are the only
one thinking pregnant woman and think that is so ross?

Speaker 1 (25:54):
Like, how did she get there?

Speaker 4 (25:56):
Those were the craziest things parents have ever said to
their kids teachers.

Speaker 8 (26:01):
That was good.

Speaker 3 (26:02):
Now, mom and dad, do you have something to aspire
to in the upcoming calendar years?

Speaker 1 (26:06):
Dude, I know we're going to get so many texts
from teachers that are listening right now.

Speaker 4 (26:10):
Ya hear some good one dexident seventy five nine two.
Your phone TAP's coming up right.

Speaker 8 (26:16):
After this Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Our own Brook Fox is notoriously bad with names. Oh yeah,
it does not matter if she met this person five
years ago or five seconds ago.

Speaker 4 (26:29):
It doesn't matter. It's gone.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
I was introducing myself to a listener three times in
the matter of an hour. I felt so bad. They're like,
I literally met you fifteen minutes ago.

Speaker 4 (26:40):
Are you having a stroke? So when Brooke meets people,
has she faked it before?

Speaker 7 (26:44):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Yeah, of course yes, we've seen that.

Speaker 3 (26:48):
And today we put that theory to the test. When
we call a guy and act like we know him
very well, but he has no idea who's on the
other line? Will he play along and put tend to
know us back? You're gonna find out in your phone.
Tap right now.

Speaker 10 (27:09):
Hello.

Speaker 4 (27:11):
Oh my god, Rudy, Rudy.

Speaker 9 (27:16):
Yeah, Hi, oh Ue, Oh my god, it's you.

Speaker 4 (27:21):
I can't believe it. Sorry, who's this?

Speaker 8 (27:25):
Who?

Speaker 7 (27:26):
It's Smitty.

Speaker 4 (27:29):
Smitty?

Speaker 7 (27:30):
Yes, ect.

Speaker 4 (27:32):
Oh, it's so good to hear your voice.

Speaker 12 (27:37):
Sorry, do we know each other?

Speaker 6 (27:40):
Do we?

Speaker 8 (27:41):
Oh?

Speaker 4 (27:41):
My god, you're so just as funny as before. Man, Wow,
oh dude, yeah, oh my god, dude. You know you
know who is not gonna believe that this is you
on the phone. Who's not good? Just hold on one second,
hold on, Hey, Michelle, what Michelle get in here? Oh

(28:03):
my god, Michelle, guess who's on the phone.

Speaker 7 (28:06):
Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. Yes, see Rudy, see Rudy talk to him.

Speaker 1 (28:11):
Oh my god, there's no way this is Rudy.

Speaker 10 (28:17):
Ah, I miss.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Oh my god, it's you. Shut the front door, Ronnie,
you old son of a gun. How many years has
a been?

Speaker 12 (28:29):
I literally have no idea time?

Speaker 4 (28:33):
Right?

Speaker 10 (28:33):
Am I?

Speaker 1 (28:34):
Right time?

Speaker 7 (28:35):
God?

Speaker 4 (28:37):
You didn't forget about me, did you? Of course?

Speaker 8 (28:41):
Not right?

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah, you will be hanging there for a second.

Speaker 7 (28:46):
Jokester, Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (28:48):
Do you know who is gonna freak out like die
when they hear you're on the phone, you know, Jimmy?

Speaker 7 (28:56):
Ohay, j Jimmy, jim here.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
You I'm never gonna believe who I'm talking to right now.

Speaker 7 (29:02):
Seriously, hit the bank, tell him I'll pay the bill later.
I know it's late.

Speaker 4 (29:06):
I don't know.

Speaker 7 (29:07):
It's Rudy. What Yes, Rudy, Rudy, Rudy, No freaking way.

Speaker 9 (29:13):
Wait a minute, Rudy, is it really you?

Speaker 1 (29:16):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (29:18):
Holy potatoes and parber john Pie. Rudy, you son of
a How you been great?

Speaker 6 (29:24):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (29:25):
I knew you would be.

Speaker 7 (29:26):
You heard them bands?

Speaker 9 (29:27):
I actually thought you were dead. I saw it on Facebook. Yeah,
I almost hit the GoFundMe.

Speaker 10 (29:35):
I didn't though I was dead.

Speaker 9 (29:39):
I told you, I told you, he's so funny. Wait,
oh my god, wait, wait, hold the phone. Someone has
to hear this.

Speaker 7 (29:49):
You know.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
Oh my god, Charlotte, Charlotte, arl Oh.

Speaker 7 (29:54):
My gosh, Charlie, You're never gonna believe it was on
the phone.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Rudy freaking you're lying? Hello, who is this?

Speaker 4 (30:04):
It's Rudy.

Speaker 8 (30:06):
It's really your Oh God, so happy too.

Speaker 1 (30:17):
The best day ever, the kids back together, the games
back together, here that time.

Speaker 11 (30:23):
Oh my god, yes, I forget with the pickle? Y,
do you remember the pickle?

Speaker 7 (30:29):
Remember the pickle? Rudy ask him, asking.

Speaker 1 (30:31):
Do you remember the pickle?

Speaker 8 (30:32):
Right?

Speaker 10 (30:34):
Yes, of course I remember a pickle.

Speaker 4 (30:40):
He's a big deal.

Speaker 8 (30:44):
Wow.

Speaker 1 (30:46):
Okay, So who's gonna tell him? I don't want to.

Speaker 4 (30:48):
I don't know what.

Speaker 7 (30:52):
On earth do you need to call me?

Speaker 4 (30:54):
Oh my god? All right, okay, maybe to.

Speaker 7 (30:58):
What Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 12 (31:03):
Yeah, what happened?

Speaker 7 (31:09):
It's a frank call.

Speaker 10 (31:10):
Man.

Speaker 3 (31:11):
You're on a radio show called Brooke and Jeffrey in
the Morning. Your college friend Pat set.

Speaker 4 (31:15):
You up for this.

Speaker 3 (31:17):
What Yeah, he said he visited you last week and
you had kind of a rusty memory, so he thought
we could mess with you.

Speaker 4 (31:23):
You guys have no idea.

Speaker 5 (31:24):
I had literally no clue what was happening, who these
people were.

Speaker 1 (31:28):
Oh my, I love that you just went along with
the pickle story.

Speaker 12 (31:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (31:33):
Wait, wait, wait before we go, Rudy, just real quick,
tell us one more joke from back in the day.

Speaker 7 (31:37):
That's gonna be good.

Speaker 12 (31:40):
I'm literally speechless still.

Speaker 8 (31:52):
Wake up Every morning was funk Taps weekday mornings on
the twenties, brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 3 (31:58):
The thing people always say about love, and it's true
is you never can predict when or where the magic
is gonna happen.

Speaker 1 (32:08):
Sweet.

Speaker 3 (32:09):
It could be at a bar, could be in the
parking lot of a Golden Corral. It could be on
The Moury Show after he declares you are the.

Speaker 1 (32:18):
Father, Yeah you did.

Speaker 4 (32:22):
Things have happened well.

Speaker 3 (32:24):
Today, one of our listeners says his most meaningful hangout
happened with a woman while they were on a walk
in the.

Speaker 4 (32:29):
Woods together and his pants came down.

Speaker 3 (32:34):
He swears it was totally innocent for me, it normally is.
But we're gonna find out how that happened. Then your
brand new second date up.

Speaker 4 (32:45):
It's right, it's coming up next, second date update.

Speaker 3 (32:51):
The great outdoors, the perfect place to hike around, get
mosquito bites, the size of cinnamon rolls.

Speaker 4 (33:00):
I actually like find a body and maybe even fall
in love.

Speaker 1 (33:07):
Maybe the body's alive. You guys, just don't need to
assume you got it.

Speaker 3 (33:11):
That's what one of our listeners says happened while he
was working out a summer camp, the falling in love part,
not the body part, because he got a big crush
on another counselor Oh my god, are we.

Speaker 1 (33:22):
Talking to two sixteen year olds right now?

Speaker 7 (33:25):
So funny?

Speaker 3 (33:25):
Well, he wrote us in email, he agreed to be
on the phone with us today. His name is Maurice.
So Maurice, welcome to the show. How you doing man?

Speaker 12 (33:34):
Hey, guys, Maurice, is your real name?

Speaker 7 (33:36):
What's your camp counselor name?

Speaker 1 (33:38):
Bro cowboy Maurice.

Speaker 12 (33:39):
I was like, guys, like, I'm really sorry. I just
I don't think I can do this anymore. I know
I was the one who wrote unto you, but I'm
just staying like I'm gonna wait the time.

Speaker 7 (33:52):
Wait, oh bro, no, okay, it's a good thing. We're happy, excited.

Speaker 4 (33:55):
To talk we're here for you.

Speaker 12 (33:57):
Yeah, no, no, I'm sorry, it's no big deal.

Speaker 1 (34:00):
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (34:01):
If it's a big deal, we'll make it a big deal.

Speaker 1 (34:03):
That's all we do.

Speaker 7 (34:04):
We have to air something.

Speaker 1 (34:05):
We blow everything out of proportion and make it a
huge crisis. It's fun.

Speaker 4 (34:10):
That's a selling point.

Speaker 3 (34:14):
Clearly something told you, Maurice, that this person that you
met was so special, so important, you had to reach
out to a morning show. I'm imagining that doesn't happen
to you all the time.

Speaker 12 (34:23):
Yeah, I don't know. Maybe maybe you're right.

Speaker 4 (34:26):
Okay, Well, look I feel like that that was your
soul or your instinct telling you I have to do something.

Speaker 2 (34:32):
Or he's like I was actually drunk, When.

Speaker 4 (34:35):
That's an instinct that definitely the alcohol. Sometimes you need
to follow that one too.

Speaker 5 (34:39):
Remember, if someone's not calling you back, the worst thing
that can happen is they're still not calling you back.

Speaker 7 (34:44):
Phone call. You're right where you are now.

Speaker 1 (34:46):
It's a good point, Jose.

Speaker 12 (34:48):
Okay, yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. Okay, Okay, thanks
for second with me.

Speaker 4 (34:54):
Okay, we're here for you, man.

Speaker 3 (34:55):
So look, we'll go slow because we don't know the
entire story or any of this story. But let's start
with what's this other counselor's name.

Speaker 12 (35:04):
So her name is Lana.

Speaker 3 (35:05):
Okay, and are you nervous right now because something weird
happened between you and Lana while you're at camp.

Speaker 10 (35:13):
Kind of kind of can you.

Speaker 1 (35:15):
Walk us through what happened, what your relationship is like.

Speaker 12 (35:19):
So a couple of the kids saw us talking behind
the dining hall, and they knew I had a crush
on her. So they're chanting like, oh, they're gonna kiss,
They're gonna kiss.

Speaker 1 (35:30):
Oh no, campers.

Speaker 4 (35:37):
He carved their initials into a tree, like Okay.

Speaker 12 (35:41):
Whenever they were like little times that I could hang
out and everything with her, you know, they would see me,
so it was pretty obvious.

Speaker 1 (35:47):
That's actually kind of cute.

Speaker 4 (35:48):
Yeah, I'm going back to that moment.

Speaker 3 (35:50):
Did you kiss her while the kids were all chanting
behind the dining hall?

Speaker 1 (35:54):
You can't do it, then, everyone I've worked as a
camp counselor before that is definitely frowned.

Speaker 4 (36:03):
Up, like frowning upon it would stop Brook.

Speaker 12 (36:05):
Jeez, Definitely, we did not do that. I just think
it might have made her feel really weird about things.

Speaker 1 (36:12):
And if she has our counselor. She knows how kids are.

Speaker 3 (36:14):
Yeah, but that was the weird moment for you behind
the dining hall. That's what you're worried about.

Speaker 12 (36:19):
Yeah, so that's probably it. That's probably the reason why.
And I don't even want to call her any any more.
I'm sorry. I just I just know what she's gonna say.

Speaker 1 (36:28):
No, you got bullied by some eight year olds. Man,
You've got to stand up for yourself. You can't let
that be the moment that defines your relationship with her.

Speaker 7 (36:38):
In his defense, eight year olds are mean, bro.

Speaker 3 (36:41):
And look, camp is a tough place to act on
your crushes because you're working around the children all day.
It's not like you have a lot of breaks in
free times and stuff.

Speaker 4 (36:49):
So I mean, like, what.

Speaker 2 (36:50):
If she's like right now thinking about you.

Speaker 4 (36:53):
Maybe did she know that you had those feelings.

Speaker 12 (36:57):
I mean there was this arts and crafts thing I did.
I made her like a twig bracelet.

Speaker 7 (37:03):
I love that.

Speaker 4 (37:04):
Yeah, it's cute, not even like whatever.

Speaker 3 (37:08):
They don't have the flowers, they don't have access to
diamonds out in the.

Speaker 1 (37:11):
Bring it bracelet do this.

Speaker 4 (37:16):
Let's not bracelet shame him.

Speaker 3 (37:18):
Okay, I'm sure it was a really nice twig bracelet.

Speaker 2 (37:21):
What did she say when you gave it to her?

Speaker 12 (37:23):
She just spanked me and everything. I mean, it was
it was like it was my thing.

Speaker 4 (37:26):
Big but it's cute.

Speaker 8 (37:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:29):
Did an actual date ever happen between the two of you?
Or was everything just small interactions at the camp site?

Speaker 10 (37:36):
Good question.

Speaker 12 (37:37):
The closest thing we had to one on one time
was this nature walk we went on where I pulled
my pants down.

Speaker 4 (37:44):
Wait what.

Speaker 12 (37:46):
Only because I had to go pee in the woods
and I made her turn around?

Speaker 4 (37:52):
Turn around? Why does you have to turn around? Are
you two feet away from her?

Speaker 1 (37:57):
The real question is what grown man pulls down his camp.

Speaker 4 (38:02):
All the way to the floor.

Speaker 12 (38:05):
I was away away behind a tree, but I didn't
want to risk your seeing anything.

Speaker 7 (38:10):
Of a tree.

Speaker 3 (38:12):
It's funny that when I asked about awkward moments, you
led with the kids channing for the kissing and not
the the pants down in the woods.

Speaker 1 (38:19):
The kids weren't there, and it sounds like maybe she
wasn't that close.

Speaker 4 (38:25):
Right far away? Okay, Well what happened after that?

Speaker 12 (38:31):
So everything was flying after that. But at the end
of the walk, I was saying we should hang out
outside of camp, she said, okay, but now she won't
even answer my text.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
I just have an image of you bending. I haven't
even seen you bending all the way over to your
ankles and pulling your pants back.

Speaker 3 (38:48):
I have that image in my head too, and I'm
going to keep it with me for a long long time,
use it whenever I need it. In the meantime, let's
reach out to Lana for you and try and get
you a second Date update. We're not gonna chant, like
kiss or go out on a date or any pressure
at all.

Speaker 1 (39:04):
Very very mature, very adult, a.

Speaker 3 (39:06):
Grown up adult edition of Second Date Update. We're gonna
do it when we come back right after.

Speaker 4 (39:11):
This Second Date update. You know, we almost didn't make
it to part two of this Second Date.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
We didn't make it, almost didn't make it to the
end of part one.

Speaker 4 (39:22):
That's what I meant.

Speaker 2 (39:26):
I'm proud of us were finishing the first part.

Speaker 3 (39:28):
That's what I'm saying because our listener, Maurice almost backed
out of the call twice before we even got started
with him. And I do understand because he's a little
nervous about calling his camp crush Lana.

Speaker 1 (39:40):
Dude, wouldn't be that. I mean, like calling the crush
period is racking. Doesn't matter where.

Speaker 4 (39:45):
You are, Absolutely, and I should say they were both
adult counselors working over the summer together.

Speaker 2 (39:53):
I do feel like that needs to be an asterisk.

Speaker 4 (39:55):
Yeah, very important to Yeah, but they had a little
thing going on, right Brook, Yeah, remind us about some
of the romantic things that Maurice did at camp.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
He made her a lovely bracelet out of twigs, it's right. Yeah,
they had an intimate moment behind the dining hall where
kids started chanting for them to kiss.

Speaker 3 (40:14):
I don't know if I would call that intimate as
much as it was being bullied by children, but yes.

Speaker 1 (40:19):
You know, it's more timid, half glass full of the situation.
And then did a nice lovely walk in the woods. Yeah,
he may or may not have dropped his pants all
the way to the grass.

Speaker 4 (40:30):
Most good dates end in pants coming off.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
Now, I don't think that was a date.

Speaker 3 (40:35):
Yeah, we do need to call Laana here and help
her see the light, because hopefully she didn't turn around
during the pants down situation and see something out in
the woods she didn't want, you know what.

Speaker 1 (40:45):
I mean, don't really what would you possibly see that,
like someone's butt cheeks would make you not want to
call them back.

Speaker 3 (40:51):
I was thinking more of the other side, but who knows.

Speaker 4 (40:55):
Let's find out and call Lana here, Maurice.

Speaker 1 (40:57):
Do we make you feel better or worse? Maurice? Okay,
what's the word? Right where we started?

Speaker 3 (41:05):
You can't back out of the call now, it's too late.
I've already started dialing Lana's number, so hopefully she picks up.

Speaker 4 (41:10):
There we go, Jef, get started, There we go. Okay, Hello,
Hey is this Lana? Yes, hey, Lana. We are a
radio show. We're called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 12 (41:34):
Hi.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
Hey, we're going to borrow a couple minutes of your
time because we do this segment called the Second Date Update,
and we're trying to.

Speaker 4 (41:43):
Kind of hook you up with one of our listeners.

Speaker 2 (41:45):
I mean, you didn't technically ever go on a date
with him, but yeah, you.

Speaker 4 (41:49):
Know, Okay, it's a guy that you were a camp
counselor with over the summer. His name is Maurice.

Speaker 13 (42:00):
Oh gosh, oh my gosh.

Speaker 4 (42:04):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:08):
Well, Maurice asked us to reach out to you because
he felt there was some sort of connection happening while
you two were working.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
What did you think of him you did.

Speaker 13 (42:21):
I mean, okay, yeah, we were Can't punkers together and
we met there and he seemed nice, like kind of shy,
but cute.

Speaker 1 (42:34):
And then that's like the same read we got right,
thought he.

Speaker 4 (42:38):
Was so cute. He's very like a wholesome guy.

Speaker 1 (42:44):
Totally.

Speaker 13 (42:45):
Yeah, as time went by, a good sense that he
had feelings or was interested.

Speaker 3 (42:51):
Okay, we heard that there was some like romantic bracelet
making that happened.

Speaker 4 (42:56):
My gosh, I mean.

Speaker 3 (42:58):
From everything that we're hearing right now, it sounds like
you were definitely entertaining the possibility of a get together
for sure.

Speaker 4 (43:06):
I mean, what changed? What happened?

Speaker 13 (43:09):
Well, we we went on this like nature walk together.

Speaker 4 (43:15):
Yeah, he told us about that.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
I can't wait to hear what happened.

Speaker 4 (43:18):
He did mention something awkward.

Speaker 2 (43:21):
It may not be the same thing that she's sicking though.

Speaker 13 (43:23):
You know, did he tell you it was in a pouch?

Speaker 1 (43:27):
What was it a pouch?

Speaker 4 (43:29):
Like when he when he went to the bathroom, he
went in a pouch.

Speaker 7 (43:32):
He said he had to go number one.

Speaker 13 (43:34):
Well, yes, that did happen, but that's not what I'm
talking about.

Speaker 14 (43:38):
To do drugs with me, it.

Speaker 1 (43:46):
Has to be like allergy medicine with this guy, there's drugs.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
You want to do some bender, some afron? What do
you mean?

Speaker 8 (43:55):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (43:55):
No, Alan brought drugs with him onto our Heike, and
I was like.

Speaker 1 (44:01):
Wait, what kind of drugs?

Speaker 7 (44:03):
One of those nature boys? Brook It doesn't matter, it.

Speaker 4 (44:05):
Does matter, really hard stuff for more like nature.

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Drugs like recreational.

Speaker 7 (44:12):
There we go.

Speaker 13 (44:12):
I mean it was a large pouch of drugs.

Speaker 4 (44:18):
I did not get that read on him earlier.

Speaker 1 (44:23):
Well that's why he's never been busted.

Speaker 10 (44:24):
Man.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
Yeah, what did he say? I mean, wait, did you say, yeah,
did you do the drugs?

Speaker 11 (44:30):
No?

Speaker 14 (44:34):
I said no when I asked him, how did you
even get those?

Speaker 13 (44:40):
And he admitted that he confiscated them off one of
the kids.

Speaker 4 (44:46):
He took it from a camper, So a kid took
it from their parents, and then he took it from
Oh okay, wild all that.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
I knew teachers would do that, you know what I mean,
or camp counselors.

Speaker 7 (44:58):
Okay, so hold on, what's the problem there?

Speaker 4 (45:00):
I mean drug add.

Speaker 8 (45:05):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (45:05):
What if okay, just to play good cop here?

Speaker 2 (45:07):
What if he was just trying to be cool.

Speaker 1 (45:09):
It's just so hard for me to wrap my head.

Speaker 5 (45:13):
Guy, always occasion.

Speaker 3 (45:17):
Yeah, and you honestly, maybe we should stop trying to
save him and let Maurice step in and handle this himself.

Speaker 1 (45:23):
If he's sober.

Speaker 3 (45:24):
Well wait a minute, what do you mean, Because the
way that this works, Lana is we have the other
guy on the line listening, waiting to talk to you.

Speaker 4 (45:32):
So, yeah, he's there. I thank you, Maurice.

Speaker 12 (45:36):
Okay, I told you this was a bad idea.

Speaker 1 (45:41):
Tell us you're a drug dealer at a camp.

Speaker 4 (45:43):
Yeah, a dealer.

Speaker 1 (45:46):
I guess he.

Speaker 4 (45:47):
Confiscated them off of a child. Brook he's doing a good.

Speaker 12 (45:52):
First of all, you guys keep saying child, but he
was like sixteen.

Speaker 7 (45:56):
Different, they were seven year old.

Speaker 1 (45:59):
They are a good drug Yeah, all.

Speaker 4 (46:01):
Right, Murrae. You didn't mention any of this when we
talked to you before.

Speaker 12 (46:07):
I mean, I don't know. I didn't think it would
be such an issue. I mean, obviously they weren't gonna
smoke it. So somebody.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Logic, is this a normal thing you do? Maurice?

Speaker 12 (46:22):
It was a special I mean, doesn't everybody share drugs
with their friends.

Speaker 3 (46:31):
You need to talk to Lana because clearly that move
didn't sit well with her.

Speaker 13 (46:37):
Yeah, no, it didn't like we're working. You know, these
are underage kids, and that's so wrong.

Speaker 4 (46:45):
Like you took it from the kids for you to use, and.

Speaker 12 (46:48):
Then would you rather we would have gone back to
their camp and smoked it with them, Like.

Speaker 4 (47:00):
Yeah, I don't think you're hearing it, Maurice.

Speaker 1 (47:02):
No, No, it's like how quickly my image can change,
you know.

Speaker 5 (47:05):
Like somebody you're like was going to be kingpin.

Speaker 1 (47:10):
Yeah, okay, well you know the illicit substances aside.

Speaker 3 (47:19):
The reason that we're calling is because we thought there
was a connection romantically between the two of you, or
at least some sort of spark, you know, is that true?

Speaker 13 (47:33):
I mean yeah, but then change, like we could have
lost our jobs.

Speaker 6 (47:40):
There is a time and a place for that.

Speaker 13 (47:42):
I'm a professional and that was not professional behavior to me.

Speaker 4 (47:46):
And you sound as paranoid as he does if there's
smoked a bunch of drugs.

Speaker 1 (47:50):
Well, and it doesn't sound like he said anything on
this phone that his called made you feel better.

Speaker 3 (47:55):
I mean, Maurice, look, we're running out of time, so
I'm just gonna ask Lana, would you like to go
on another date with Maurice and we would pay for it.
Pouch left at home, no children around, just you and
Maurice on a sober, romantic evening.

Speaker 7 (48:13):
With his pants around his head.

Speaker 14 (48:16):
I am sorry. I don't even really do drugs myself.
It's not my thing, and clearly it's important to him
so that he's willing to get us all kicked out
of camp.

Speaker 1 (48:31):
So I mean, Maurice, do you feel bad that you're
taking the fall for the sixteen year old that originally
had the drugs?

Speaker 12 (48:39):
I just I don't really see like what I did wrong.

Speaker 4 (48:42):
Like I guess maybe.

Speaker 12 (48:44):
I should have saved them for a first date out
of camp.

Speaker 3 (48:49):
Hey, Maury's man, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but
if you still have that pouch, Jose would definitely like to.

Speaker 4 (48:55):
Meet up with you in a little bit.

Speaker 5 (48:56):
Okay, we can dispose of it.

Speaker 10 (48:59):
That's right, I got you, buddy.

Speaker 1 (49:02):
Yeah, connect Suddenly Jose's a camp counselor next summer.

Speaker 8 (49:08):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning, Man.

Speaker 3 (49:10):
I hate it when three embarrassing things happened during an
interaction and the color only mentions two of.

Speaker 4 (49:16):
Them to us.

Speaker 1 (49:18):
He's not embarrassed by the third.

Speaker 8 (49:19):
Ye.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
There's only so many times I can bring that up, Like,
did anything weird?

Speaker 7 (49:24):
Happen.

Speaker 4 (49:24):
Okay, did anything else weird happen? Are you sure you
didn't bust out a patch of drugs that you confiscated
off a teenager and offered to do them with your
date in the woods the other day? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (49:39):
I feel like this guy is one of those guys
that's been a camp counselor for ten years, and it's
solely for this reason.

Speaker 3 (49:45):
He gets the he asks to have the bunk with
the bad kids.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
We never got his camp counselor name either would be too.

Speaker 4 (49:55):
Much of a giveaway.

Speaker 7 (49:57):
Mushroom.

Speaker 4 (49:58):
Yeah, but look, it didn't work out for him, doesn't
mean it can't work out for you.

Speaker 3 (50:04):
Yeah, just email the show. We'll call that person who
is not calling you back. And for our big portfolio
of successes, you can find them online wherever you get
your podcasts. Check out the second dates at Brook and.

Speaker 8 (50:15):
Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 3 (50:19):
If you follow our social media at Brook and Jeffrey,
by the way, you should go follow it. But you
may have seen there's a lot of comments on there
saying that I look exactly like NASCAR driver Chase Elliott.

Speaker 2 (50:34):
I need to search that guy.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
I don't, but I just believe everyone, And I just
want to make it clear I'm not him.

Speaker 1 (50:40):
Okay, we had NASCAR money.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
I've also seen comparisons calling me a more metro Jason Momoa.

Speaker 1 (50:49):
I don't know that anyone says.

Speaker 4 (50:51):
It's on there.

Speaker 3 (50:51):
Look at it in the comments, a Jewish Matthew McConaughey,
at yourself. Few people have called me the white Denzel Washington.

Speaker 4 (51:04):
It's the which look, you are not very very flattering, but.

Speaker 1 (51:09):
Because you eat, that's what we do.

Speaker 4 (51:14):
But it's not really for me to comment on. It's
not for me to say. But look, if you've ever wondered,
what would it sound like to hear a song performed
by a Momoa, Denzel mcconaugheye, looking like you're in luck because.

Speaker 3 (51:31):
My brand new song of the week is coming up.
Your ears are not ready for this. This whole day
we're doing it. Right after this it is time for
my song of the week.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Why is that music? This is like my favorite part
of the day jazz.

Speaker 4 (51:47):
Well, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (51:47):
Because my sympathies go out to Brook and alexis here
and for anybody else out there who has to spend
the next four months listening to friends family and co
workers talk about fantasy football.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
I've covered all. We don't need to keep going about it.
I'm money line every day this week I have come
into work and our producer is at my desk talking
to Jake about some pick he made but he's not
sure of. I'm like, you know, the bandwagon ladies try
to work, get.

Speaker 4 (52:19):
Out of my way.

Speaker 3 (52:20):
Those types of conversations are, how you know it's back?

Speaker 4 (52:23):
Yeah, Week one of the.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
NFL season kicks off? And personally, do I like fantasy football?

Speaker 8 (52:30):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (52:31):
Not really, Bro, you can't say that you're in my lead.
Does Jose force me to join his league every single
year and pay him fifty dollars while I do auto
draft every time? Absolutely?

Speaker 1 (52:41):
Because it's not lying the.

Speaker 7 (52:42):
Auto drafts every time.

Speaker 1 (52:43):
Jose has already told me this year just too can't
be auto drafted. It's like pretty well balanced. He's got
a bag up. I heard all that.

Speaker 4 (52:52):
Oh so some of it is sinking.

Speaker 10 (52:54):
In for you.

Speaker 1 (52:54):
I don't always hear him tell ten people.

Speaker 7 (52:57):
Yeah, you start to hear it, but I'm glad you're
listening when I talk.

Speaker 3 (53:00):
There are plenty of people out there who find themselves
coupled up with a fanatic. This person maybe has never
actually played any football in their life before, but they
take managing their make believe team very very seriously.

Speaker 1 (53:16):
You guys, I have a friend that is on a
twelve hundred mile canoe trip right now. This is so wild.
Pulled over, cut his day short just so he could
draft his fantasy league before he ran out of bars
in the wilderness.

Speaker 4 (53:30):
It's a true man, right, that is true crazy.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
But I wanted to sing a song for all the
ffw's out there, the fantasy football widows. It's gonna be
a few months before they see their spouses again. It
doesn't always doesn't always mean ladies. It could be for
dudes too, who have to suffer listening to which wideouts
got drafted in the tenth round this year and wear
a total steal. So instead of doing the hit song

(53:55):
by flow Rider, the club can't handle me.

Speaker 4 (53:58):
It's young Jeffreys.

Speaker 3 (54:00):
I'm stuck on fantasy so I'm gonna point when i'm ready.

Speaker 4 (54:06):
Points.

Speaker 10 (54:10):
Hello baby, Oh.

Speaker 4 (54:13):
I know I'm almost done, but you can't be patient.
It's been nine months.

Speaker 3 (54:17):
I don't think a couple more hours is gonna hurt.

Speaker 4 (54:19):
An okay wife? He should know now the next few.

Speaker 15 (54:24):
Months, I'm gonna be zoned down, locked in a football
fantasy bro down a toxic Matthew Lennon and he show ground.
Don't talk to me while I'm picking first round.

Speaker 4 (54:39):
The baby's coming, pun. I know you're quote in labor,
but pipe down, let's get this fantasy footballs.

Speaker 7 (54:48):
He's just started.

Speaker 4 (54:50):
I'll see you, commissioner. I'm the boss.

Speaker 11 (54:53):
I'll pick a person now, Jerry Jones.

Speaker 4 (54:54):
But I'm doing it well.

Speaker 11 (54:56):
Roster stack like cake gott Layers, making you jelly my
backup players.

Speaker 4 (55:00):
Tax season and I ain't no hell. Football comes on.

Speaker 11 (55:02):
The King of Xtyle, Tier fourteens that I really don't
care add up stats with the rain man stare.

Speaker 4 (55:07):
Draft Day for me.

Speaker 11 (55:08):
Is Christmas to my wife, It's like a sick nass
red zone. I'm full of dicted. My drug is Sunday ticket. Yeah,
I'm watching, I'm focused, I'm yelling. I'm scolding, just run it,
don't throw it, don't throw this.

Speaker 4 (55:21):
I just got thrown out of my.

Speaker 15 (55:24):
Grandmother's weight because I screams loud after my QB missed
a short touchdown mid eulogy. I'm cursing my homes out.
I'm feeling six feet lower than Nan.

Speaker 4 (55:37):
Now I'm going second most points in the league.

Speaker 7 (55:41):
How am I in eighth place?

Speaker 10 (55:42):
Just lower my.

Speaker 4 (55:43):
Whole team in that cold ground.

Speaker 15 (55:46):
Hold on, I can still win if my tight end
scores eight touchdowns this game.

Speaker 11 (55:51):
Hey, I'm sorry, Han, I can't do chores. Spend on
Sunday checking on scores, Thursday, Friday and Monday night sports
Wednesday nights.

Speaker 4 (55:58):
Hey, I'm all yours.

Speaker 11 (56:00):
Take you out on a DAPO show, Buffalo wild Wings,
hot sauce, hole, hold best on, and we'll talk some mode.
The lion's game is in a whoa rest. That's a
whole straight up no doubt, and you're letting him go
each week. My d scores negative talks, just like the
mentors sucking my song. Yeah, horrendous defense is like ladas
get shreded, be headed, regret it, forget it.

Speaker 4 (56:21):
Please know that songhow.

Speaker 15 (56:24):
I swear I'll save that kid before he drowned. But
first I must set my line up right now, k
Schefter just ruled my running back out.

Speaker 4 (56:35):
The Wi Fi by the fool is so slow. Wow,
keep kicking, Brandon. I just need to check the waiver wire.

Speaker 15 (56:42):
So focused on my fantasy right now.

Speaker 4 (56:46):
It looks like somebody's drowning in terrible flex options. This week,
I'm bragging two.

Speaker 11 (56:53):
Must vows bout I'm in ross ain't brown.

Speaker 4 (56:56):
I know she loves to hear the trade details I'm
laying down.

Speaker 11 (57:00):
I'm telling all a fan, they're less important.

Speaker 10 (57:03):
Than than football.

Speaker 4 (57:05):
Nod.

Speaker 11 (57:07):
When the boys are here, it's a locker room atmosphere.
All of our team names are jokes about boobs and
balls and bear. This ain't no powdered pump.

Speaker 4 (57:17):
It's high brown football. Stop talking trash through.

Speaker 15 (57:20):
My thro and as I scroll down, excited about the
players I own. Now my roster's more progressive than flow.

Speaker 6 (57:30):
Wow.

Speaker 15 (57:31):
And since I got Saquon on my role, wud, I
feel like in real life.

Speaker 4 (57:36):
He's my bro.

Speaker 11 (57:37):
Now he's my real friends.

Speaker 4 (57:42):
I'm like an NFL CEO. Now swin it all.

Speaker 11 (57:48):
Now put your hands up, I'll take the league crown.

Speaker 1 (57:55):
Yeah, I think part that song is a different language. Understand.
I'm telling you the only reason fantasy football came around
is because the NFL wanted all you suckers to care
about more than one team. They're like, how can we
get them to watch all the games? And they figured
it out.

Speaker 4 (58:14):
And then Taylor Switch came along and then they got
everybody else to y. So everybody better be watching Week
one NFL kickoff.

Speaker 1 (58:22):
Yes, I've never wanted to play fantasy less.

Speaker 4 (58:26):
We'll see in a few months. Broke, that's your song
in the week text in seventy five nine too, and
tell us what you thought about it. We're going to
post the video up on all of our socials there
with the lyrics on TikTok, Instagram, everything. Yeah, we're gonna
want to.

Speaker 8 (58:41):
Brooking. Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
Texas seventy five nine two says I love my fantasy
football team. It takes my mind off my real life,
crappy job, my lack of finances, and my unexpected weight game.
Thanks for the escape. Okay, I didn't know Tom Brady listened.

Speaker 4 (59:00):
To our show. It's so nice out happy retirements. Oh no,
he's not retired anymore. No, it's like million dollars only
five hundred million, poor guys.

Speaker 1 (59:12):
I bet Giselle's like, why am I with this?

Speaker 12 (59:14):
Broke?

Speaker 1 (59:14):
Oh wait, they're divorced now, I.

Speaker 4 (59:15):
Forgot no wonder he's so depressed.

Speaker 3 (59:18):
Yeah, if you're not sure what we're talking about A
few minutes ago, I did a parody song about fantasy
football and the toll it's about to take on all
of our lives. So instead of singing the hit song
by flow Rider the club can't handle me, I did
I'm stuck on Fantasy and it seems like people liked it.

Speaker 4 (59:34):
Broke what are you hearing? On the textport at seventy five.

Speaker 1 (59:36):
Nine too oh, This one says I'm a fantasy football widow.
Oh oh, And I've been surviving his made up teams
for years. No, I get through it. I put in
little baileies in my coffee cup every morning as he
tells me about his starting lineup. And then she wrote
glug glug.

Speaker 3 (59:55):
Oh well, cheers to you and cheers to everybody for
the start of the football season, fantasy and real life.
If you miss it, if you want to hear it again,
it'll be up at the Brook and Jeffery YouTube page,
insa and TikTok all of it at Brook and.

Speaker 8 (01:00:07):
Jeffrey, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 4 (01:00:17):
There's been a question running through my mind lately, and
I just I want to know the answer.

Speaker 1 (01:00:21):
It's with this music. I don't want to know the question.

Speaker 3 (01:00:25):
The question is who's got a sexier voice, Brooke or myself?

Speaker 7 (01:00:30):
Oh, I would say you Brooks.

Speaker 4 (01:00:32):
Say any sentence that you want, as sexy as you
can say, and I'll say the exact same thing afterwards.
And then we'll have Leland, who's on the phone today,
decide who sounds sexier? Leland, are you up for that? Okay? Brook,
So go ahead say anything.

Speaker 1 (01:00:48):
I like just creamer, no sugar in my coffee.

Speaker 4 (01:00:52):
I like just creamer, no sugar in my coffee. Land,
who's sexier?

Speaker 10 (01:01:00):
Yeah, there's no contact. Jeffer, you got that one.

Speaker 4 (01:01:04):
I totally didn't pay him to say that. Leland. You're awesome.

Speaker 3 (01:01:08):
Welcome back to the show Man. You've only played Brook
once before and it ended in a tie. Wow, what's
gonna be the difference today?

Speaker 10 (01:01:15):
I'm gonna get one more answer me.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
He's got it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:22):
He didn't say right, No, it's one more answer, and
that might be the difference. Let's send Brook out of
the studio and go over the rules real quick. Leland,
you got thirty seconds to answer as many questions as
you can. You could say pass if you don't know one,
but you got to beat Brooke outright.

Speaker 4 (01:01:37):
If you want to win. Are you ready?

Speaker 10 (01:01:39):
I'm ready?

Speaker 4 (01:01:39):
Good luck? Your time starts now.

Speaker 3 (01:01:41):
Today is National Read a book Day, which author wrote
the Da Vinci Code series A pass. If you're eating
squab at a French restaurant, what bird are you consuming?
What team has won back to back Super Bowls in
twenty twenty two and twenty twenty three seasons.

Speaker 10 (01:01:58):
The oh the uh Redskins? No say it cheap?

Speaker 3 (01:02:06):
What pizza chain sells a trademark to item called crazy bread?

Speaker 4 (01:02:12):
Oh no, Leland got you got hung up for a
little long on that one. Brook's coming back into the studio.
Still have a shot though. Now Leland is a banker,
it says on my screener.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
Here is a banker.

Speaker 1 (01:02:26):
Oh yeah, I'm working on it in the hallway. I
don't know if I got any better.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
Leland loves two things about banking. Number one, he loves
the short hours and getting holiday time.

Speaker 7 (01:02:39):
Oh yeah, every holiday?

Speaker 1 (01:02:41):
Why is the bank never opened when I need it
to be open? It is actually really frustrating.

Speaker 4 (01:02:48):
And number two, he likes helping people. Feels like that
should maybe be number one, but Leland has different priorities.

Speaker 7 (01:02:58):
Number three, he likes to steal money.

Speaker 2 (01:03:02):
Have you ever been robbed at your bank, Leland.

Speaker 10 (01:03:05):
Not me personally, but some of the tellers that I've
been with.

Speaker 1 (01:03:08):
Hat that's so scary.

Speaker 4 (01:03:10):
So you know that was a threat, Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
But if I say this is sexy voyage, give me
all your money?

Speaker 4 (01:03:19):
Yeah, let you and me go to the vaults.

Speaker 1 (01:03:23):
I mean, would they call it? Cops? If you're really.

Speaker 3 (01:03:24):
Hot, the cops will tear away pants, Ma Brooks, your
turn to answer questions?

Speaker 10 (01:03:30):
Are you ready? I am?

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
Your time starts now.

Speaker 3 (01:03:33):
Today is National Read a Book Day, which author wrote
the Da Vinci Code series. Oh, if you're eating squab
at a French restaurant? What bird are you consuming?

Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Kitchen?

Speaker 3 (01:03:45):
What team has won back to back Super Bowls in
twenty twenty two and twenty twenty three.

Speaker 4 (01:03:49):
Seasons, Patriots?

Speaker 3 (01:03:50):
What pizza chain sells a trademarked item called crazy bread?

Speaker 4 (01:03:54):
Uh?

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
Caesars, Little Caesars.

Speaker 3 (01:03:56):
The two MLB teams from Chicago are the Cubs and
what else?

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
MLB?

Speaker 4 (01:04:02):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:04:02):
The White Sox.

Speaker 4 (01:04:05):
Time is up? How did we do? It's time to
head on over to the scoreboard with Jose Amazing? Here's
brook bragging again? Fox, Like, what I say? It's okay?

Speaker 7 (01:04:17):
Leland? You got three correct.

Speaker 1 (01:04:19):
Oh no, Brook, you got.

Speaker 7 (01:04:21):
One extra question and also free.

Speaker 4 (01:04:27):
Buzzer beaters Lands. I'm sorry, man, Tie goes to the house.

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
That's two ties both times you appeared on the show.

Speaker 4 (01:04:35):
Let's go over the answers for everybody. It's National Read
a book Day. The author of the Da Vinci Code
series is Dan Brown.

Speaker 1 (01:04:42):
Guy.

Speaker 7 (01:04:43):
I would have never thought it, but what you hear it?

Speaker 4 (01:04:44):
I know, it's such like a basic name, hard to remember.

Speaker 3 (01:04:47):
If you're eating squab at a French restaurant, you're eating pigeon.
The team that won back to back Super Bowls in
twenty twenty two and twenty twenty three is the Kansas
City Chiefs. The pizza chain that sells crazy bread as
Little Caesars. The two MLB teams from Chicago are the
Cubs and yes, the White Sox Leland.

Speaker 4 (01:05:05):
It was not enough to beat Brook, But just for playing.

Speaker 3 (01:05:08):
We're gonna give you a twenty five dollars Sephora gift
card just for being here.

Speaker 10 (01:05:12):
Okay, all right, I guess what. I actually grew up
on the same street as a friend of yours, agent comedian.

Speaker 9 (01:05:21):
That's a huge h shout out to Lucas silly comedian
that's amazing.

Speaker 1 (01:05:26):
Wait, does Lucas actually tell people that he's friends with
Jose Like he just shares his most embarrassing information right
out there.

Speaker 4 (01:05:33):
Yikes.

Speaker 10 (01:05:33):
Yeah, he's a comedian. Oh yeah, it.

Speaker 4 (01:05:38):
Came out in like the low point of an AA meeting.
So good luck to Lucas Leland, best of luck to you.

Speaker 3 (01:05:45):
You're welcome back anytime. We're gonna do wind Brooks Bock
same time on Monday, Rookie Jeffrey in the morning,