FULL SHOW: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2024

FULL SHOW: Wednesday, May 22nd, 2024

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
I'm gline to see your phone and Lee arrived. I've
been here at hotel. I'm waiting for you. You're gonna
know it listening to Brook and Jeffrey in a moan
and I'll be watching it is clover, how do you know?

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Sorry? Enjoy? What is the worst possible glitch that you
could imagine a phone having. It's Brook and Jeffrey in
the morning.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
You can't see your screen anymore.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Whatever it is that you're thinking of right now, whatever
it is, this one is worse than anything possible, because
more than a few people online have been upset claiming
Apple's newest iPhone update has somehow resurrected their old deleted nudes.

Speaker 4 (00:44):
No wait, hold on, that can happen.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
People say, Hey, naughty photos that they deleted years ago
are now suddenly popping back up after the newest updated.

Speaker 4 (00:59):
After you empty the trash and you do all the
things and it's all gone, it's still.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Coming right back to the top of their photo gallon.

Speaker 4 (01:06):
Oh my god, you are. There are people panicking right
now listening to this, Are people hearing from their axes.

Speaker 2 (01:14):
Did you forget about this photo?

Speaker 5 (01:15):
Well?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Apple sure didn't.

Speaker 4 (01:17):
It's it's kind of like down.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
It's like when you put on a jacket and find
a ten dollars bill in one of the pockets from
months ago, and you're like, oh, yeah, I forgot about this,
except instead of cash, it's a blurry bathroom photo of
you without your clothes on.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that.

Speaker 6 (01:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:33):
So normally, if you delete a photo off of your phone,
it goes into your trash for a month before it's
gone gone forever, and all the connections are permanently killed. Supposedly,
if the data really is coming back from the dead,
this could be a major problem for Apple and for brook.

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Brook.

Speaker 2 (01:53):
Why don't you open and show jose your gallery? Really
see what pops up?

Speaker 3 (01:58):
I can tell you softball in camp?

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Those are not you know what, This is a bad idea.

Speaker 4 (02:07):
Let's move on. Put the phone, put the phone down
into it.

Speaker 6 (02:13):
We gotta move on.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
I don't no, we would give us something to distract you.

Speaker 6 (02:24):
It's time for me to take you way back to
a crazy time when the hair was big, shoulder pads
were cool, and the most beloved man on TV was
Bill Cosby. Oh I'm talking about the nineteen eighties. Yeah,
thank Jeffery. That on this day. In nineteen eighty, the

(02:45):
very first pac Man arcade machine was installed in the
Japanese movie theater. But back then he was called puck
Man because he looked like a hockey fot makes sense.
But when he came to America, they thought, hey, if
we put a machine with the word puck on it,
someone probably gonna vandalize the p and turns talk into an.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Unsavory mon.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
That was more for thought that I would.

Speaker 6 (03:06):
Yeah, that's right. So pac Man was born, and he
became one of the most prolific characters in all of
video games. And that's why today, to celebrate that hungry
little puck video game Day, we'll be doing a special
Most Famous Video Game Characters edition of blenty of twenty.

(03:29):
I have a list of the top twenty most iconic
video game characters of all time, according to a poll
of four thousand gamers. So this is according to a poll.
You just have to name them to stay in the game.
Let's start with the woman whose exes all look like Wallauigi.
That's Alexis Alexi's top twenty most iconic video game characters

(03:49):
according to a poll. Go ahead and name it.

Speaker 7 (03:51):
Okay, Well, I'm not gonna last long in this, so
I'm gonna take the easy one now and say Mario.

Speaker 6 (03:56):
Mario number two on my Yes, iconic is the descriptor
according to all. Let's go to Brook.

Speaker 4 (04:04):
Okay, I'm gonna follow it Alexis's footsteps, because this is
also one that is not my strong suit. We're gonna
say Luigi.

Speaker 6 (04:11):
Luigi is number fourteen on my No, it's not all Nintendo.
This is a wide swath of games, all video games.
Hose you play video games? Yes, stream, well it's your turn.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Please Lord tell me we have Halo fans. And master
Chief is on the list.

Speaker 6 (04:29):
Master Chief is number seven on my own.

Speaker 4 (04:32):
That is not even part of my vocabulary.

Speaker 6 (04:37):
Let's go over to Jeffrey.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
These are all g rated video games that are on it.
Oh yeah, okay, kid friendly.

Speaker 6 (04:44):
There's some violence in here, but yeah, mostly kid friendly.
Master Chief's got a gun.

Speaker 2 (04:47):
Let me take the ones that are not from that.

Speaker 6 (04:50):
I don't want to read your list at.

Speaker 2 (04:51):
All, and I guess I'll go stick with the Nintendo
World famous Donkey Kong.

Speaker 4 (04:57):
That's good, Donkey Kong.

Speaker 6 (04:59):
It's number nine nine on my list. Who's up there? Two, seven, nine,
and fourteen are off the list. Let's go over to Alexis.

Speaker 7 (05:06):
All right, I don't know what they're in, but like
it's just a name I know is Zelda.

Speaker 4 (05:11):
They're in Zelda.

Speaker 6 (05:12):
Oh you're gonna say Zelda.

Speaker 2 (05:14):
Yeah, that's not the yas that's the name of the game.

Speaker 6 (05:17):
Zelda is not on my list. Zelda is the name
of the princess.

Speaker 3 (05:23):
Can I use it.

Speaker 6 (05:24):
That's not your turn, Jose. Let's go over to Brooks.

Speaker 4 (05:27):
God, I wrote down Zelda to.

Speaker 3 (05:29):
Prince the list.

Speaker 6 (05:30):
It's a Frankenstein doctor Frankenstein situation there.

Speaker 4 (05:33):
Sorry, Okay, give me Sonic the Hedgehog.

Speaker 6 (05:36):
Sonic the Hedgehog. It's number three on my list.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
That's the ones I couldn't think of.

Speaker 6 (05:41):
Jose. It's your turn.

Speaker 3 (05:42):
I'm gonna go with the name of Zelda, and that's Link.

Speaker 6 (05:47):
Is the main character in the Legend of Zelda. He's
number six on my list. So we got two, three, six, nine,
and fourteen off the list. We're back to Jeffrey.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
Well, I know, back in the days, I would always
play Tetris on my phone.

Speaker 3 (06:00):
Yeah, I'm thinking, who was the character.

Speaker 6 (06:03):
The main block?

Speaker 2 (06:05):
Gives me the Tetris block.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
They're talking the square, the square of the six, I
mean the six has.

Speaker 8 (06:10):
Always really I was always a fan of the T
straight line saved many.

Speaker 4 (06:15):
I mean the straight line is where it's at.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
You just want to lay, but it never comes when
you need them. I'm gonna go with the one that's
like a lightning bolt one.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
The Z shaped Tetris block is number twenty one on
my list. That's not a joke. The Z save Tetris
block got a lot of votes but did not make
the top twenty. So Jeffrey's out. We're back to Brook.

Speaker 4 (06:36):
Can we say pac Man? I didn't know how that
started since.

Speaker 6 (06:39):
I had try try Bron try and say pac Man.

Speaker 4 (06:41):
I'm gonna say, miss pac Man, Thank you Brook.

Speaker 6 (06:43):
That's number five on the list. Nice Jose, We're back
to you.

Speaker 3 (06:47):
I was gonna ask, can we say pac Man?

Speaker 6 (06:50):
Because Jose, I swear to God, try I try to
say pac Man.

Speaker 4 (06:54):
I think he already said it was the list.

Speaker 6 (06:56):
I'm gonna go Bowser Bowser, number seventeen on my us.
Back to Brook. We're sudden death now.

Speaker 4 (07:02):
I'm gonna go with Princess Peach.

Speaker 6 (07:04):
Princess Peach number eighteen on my list. We're still in
Sudden Death. Silver saved still available, Jose oh Man.

Speaker 3 (07:11):
Okay, let's go.

Speaker 8 (07:12):
Just because it was my favorite game, I'm gonna go
with the Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtles.

Speaker 6 (07:16):
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did not make the top
twenty is win Brook you found walked backwards into a win?
What does edition have?

Speaker 4 (07:27):
Plenty of twenty video game of my life.

Speaker 6 (07:30):
There were some tough ones on this list. It was
a very tough list. Number one number one Angeline and
Joe Lee played in a lot of movies. Laura Kroft, Wow.
Number four in the list was pac Man. I was
begging you guys to say pa that I was like,
I swear we can say he was there. Pikachu number eight.
Crash Bandicoot made the top ten. Cloud Strive from Final
Fantasy sub Zero I would have taken from Mortal Kombat.

(07:52):
Brook chun Lee from Street Fighter was the one that
made it there. Ellie Williams from the Last of Us
of the hit TV show Last of Us.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Yeah, I forgot the video.

Speaker 6 (08:00):
Agent forty seven from Hitman, Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid,
and Steve from Minecraft was number twenty. See He's from Minecraft?

Speaker 2 (08:10):
Okay, Well, Brooke got the video game trivia right against
all odds.

Speaker 4 (08:15):
He just read that list and it literally sounded like
a foreign link.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
So you get to choose you to get shocked today, Brooke,
and they're gonna be singing baby got back by sir
mix a lot punish him.

Speaker 4 (08:24):
I choose Hose.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
They finished him.

Speaker 3 (08:31):
I like big butts and I can not lie you.
Other brothers can't not.

Speaker 8 (08:35):
When a girl walks in win anybody Way Center routing
in your face, you get shocked.

Speaker 2 (08:42):
Oh game over, Jose. Sorry, that is your shock collar
question of the day.

Speaker 9 (08:47):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (08:51):
In order to get what you want from someone, sometimes
you gotta be a little sneaky and play some mind games.
Oh wow, jeff Oh no, we do it here all
the time.

Speaker 4 (09:02):
What do you want?

Speaker 2 (09:02):
Like when we want Jose to show up to work
on time, we tell him his twitch streamers are gonna
throw a big surprise party for him at five thirty
am in the studio and it's gonna be all about
him and nobody else.

Speaker 10 (09:16):
Yes, I'm gonna spend the night in the studio.

Speaker 4 (09:18):
Then that he's only thirty five minutes late for that exactly.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Or when Digital Jake tells Brook that we have to
film a promotional video for something. Truth is, we never
really have to do videos. He just says that shows
to actually put on makeup and stop scaring the rest of.

Speaker 4 (09:32):
The office jokes on you still have a shower in
three days.

Speaker 2 (09:38):
Well, we're gonna need some serious mental manipulation for our
next segment to figure out what my co hosts have
been thinking about lately.

Speaker 4 (09:46):
During What's on your Mind makeup free.

Speaker 2 (09:49):
Well, Brooke, we're gonna film this. I would go reapply
just to be said, please if I do it now,
I don't believe You've got to try, because we're doing
What's on your Mind right now.

Speaker 9 (10:00):
Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (10:02):
You know, if you really think about it, we have
all at one point kicked a pregnant lady. Anybody make
you feel bad about that? Clearly my head is in
a great space this morning. What's on your Mind where
we go around the room learning what everybody's been thinking

(10:24):
about lately. You shouldn't start with me.

Speaker 4 (10:26):
Let's go over to Brooknyah, I've had two of them
that have kicked me.

Speaker 2 (10:30):
What's on your mind?

Speaker 4 (10:32):
Well, actually, what's on your mind is about my daughter
because I got a chance to volunteer for her fourth
grade sleepaway camp. Was a camp counselor. I don't know
who you are camping. This may surprise you. All majority
of the kids thought I was very cool. Okay, so

(10:52):
I was riding a high.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Because you finally found the one group that thinks that
she's cool.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
Well, there's one kid there that didn't agree with me,
and that was my own daughter. Because while I'm riding
is high, we go in and there's like the campfire
area and there's like eighty kids there. So I'm like,
this is my moment. So I pull out my phone
and I start playing the Gummy Bear.

Speaker 11 (11:18):
Song I'm a Gummy Bear yeah years ago, yeah yeah,
Oh the kids still love it all right, And then
me and another mom start doing the gritty.

Speaker 4 (11:29):
No yes, and all the fourth grade boys go wild.

Speaker 3 (11:34):
They are so excited, they're they're.

Speaker 4 (11:36):
Hollering, and my daughter is sinking so low. Oh my god.
And afterwards she told me that I've ruined her social life.
Oh and you did.

Speaker 3 (11:48):
We're so sorry, Nora.

Speaker 4 (11:49):
You know, lost one doesn't think I'm cool, but the
others I love me awesome.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yeah, thank you.

Speaker 4 (11:57):
Sure, It's a big week for me.

Speaker 3 (11:58):
Jeff was, well, I was.

Speaker 8 (12:03):
Driving home from work the other day and I'm on
the freeway and a guy cuts me off. I don't
want to get into it, but we get a little
road rage happening.

Speaker 3 (12:13):
From him.

Speaker 8 (12:14):
He cuts me off, and then I don't let him merge,
and the next thing you know, he's all over the road,
and then we start taking the exit and he takes
my exit.

Speaker 3 (12:22):
I'm like, I'm following me. This guy's really man, right,
So then yeah, so he's behind me.

Speaker 8 (12:28):
So then he gets in front of me, but we're
still going the same direction.

Speaker 6 (12:32):
Hu, and I'm like, what's going on?

Speaker 4 (12:34):
How does he know where I'm going?

Speaker 8 (12:36):
And then he pulls up to my apartment complex gate
and he colicks it and he opens it.

Speaker 3 (12:44):
He lives in my apartment complex.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
This is the worst case of road rage because I've
been following.

Speaker 4 (12:52):
Him now though, and makes it you're at his garage.

Speaker 8 (12:55):
You So then I realized it looks like I'm challenging
him to a fight.

Speaker 12 (13:00):
I just pulled up on and I'm like, come on, buddy,
pull in. So he we pull in and he just
stops his car. We're both playing this game of like
parked car chicken. Who's gonna get out, who's gonna fight?

Speaker 4 (13:12):
Who? Both of you are terrified? Is my guest? Yeah, no,
men in their cars crying.

Speaker 3 (13:19):
I don't know who's gonna follow me.

Speaker 8 (13:20):
I don't know he lived here, right, So anyway, before
either of us could show how manly we really are,
he slowly starts to back into a spot, and then
I just kind of like speed past him.

Speaker 3 (13:32):
Really, I just wanted to rush home and get a nap.

Speaker 6 (13:34):
And now there's someone in my building who.

Speaker 3 (13:36):
I have to fight on site. If I ever see them, like,
I think that's how it works.

Speaker 4 (13:42):
Trade cars, they won't know who you are.

Speaker 2 (13:44):
That is just upgraded your mind.

Speaker 7 (13:51):
So a little bit ago, I started talking to this
guy like okay, but then he was going out of
town for like two months because he's a runner and
had to go.

Speaker 4 (13:59):
To out due camp.

Speaker 7 (14:00):
Okay, so he asked the point of the story though,
he has this plant that is like his pride and
joy and asked me to keep alive while he was gone.

Speaker 4 (14:10):
Oh girl, two weeks past, and I had forgotten about
the plant. I go back because it's a tropical plant.

Speaker 7 (14:17):
It was dead.

Speaker 4 (14:20):
Plants that needs have you not talked to in two
weeks either.

Speaker 7 (14:23):
No, I did, but he doesn't ask daily updates.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
About his plants.

Speaker 2 (14:27):
I feel like you should text him a photo of
the plant every single day, just like with like a dog.

Speaker 7 (14:32):
He is, it's for the best, just for the best.
So I took it instantly, and I ran and I
just threw.

Speaker 4 (14:37):
It in the shower because I was like, it probably
just needs a ton of water, okay. So then I
leave it for a few days, and.

Speaker 7 (14:44):
Then that's when we're texting and he finally mentions again.
He's like, oh, by the way, like you remember I
told you about my roommates five plants in the window
sill too, right?

Speaker 4 (14:54):
Did you kill them all?

Speaker 7 (14:55):
So I go back to check on the five plants
I forgot about in the window sill.

Speaker 4 (14:59):
They're all a shower.

Speaker 11 (15:00):
Now it's any light in the shower.

Speaker 4 (15:05):
Well, no, I need to go move him sometimes soon,
I guess.

Speaker 13 (15:08):
I'm still.

Speaker 4 (15:10):
I've been scared to go back, but I have a
few weeks. Sun might replace them with all new plants,
gonna look like I don't know, if I see a
relationship on the horizon.

Speaker 12 (15:20):
Yeah, oh my god, Jeffrey.

Speaker 2 (15:25):
I had a weird interaction to mine was at the
grocery store. It happened randomly in the dairy section, and
a very large man was there with a tight I
shirt on and he has crazy hair, and he shouts
really loud, really excited. He's like, oh my god, this
is the greatest day of my life.

Speaker 4 (15:45):
Is he an old shirt?

Speaker 2 (15:48):
It sounds like he's missing teeth.

Speaker 4 (15:49):
Okay, it's from my hometown.

Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah, and he wants people to hear him. It sounded
like he'd found like a like a lottery ticket on
the ground or something like that. Normally I try to
ignore people that are making a scene like that. I
want to stay in my zen grocery store vibe. But
we locked eyes.

Speaker 4 (16:04):
And you had to ask him.

Speaker 2 (16:05):
Well, he's like, hey, come over here. So I'm trapped
now I have to go over And he goes, I
want to know a secret. And I'm like okay, and
he's like, you see these cartons right here, they're full
of eggs and I'm like yeah, okay. He goes, oh,
but not just any eggs. These are leftovers shaved from

(16:29):
broken cartons. And then he opens the package and all
of the eggs are light blue tinted. Oh good, it's
some like special organic egg and he points to the
real price of what they normally cost. They're ten dollars normally,
but since the repackage from broken, He's like, I'm getting
him for a buck fifty.

Speaker 4 (16:48):
Yeah. Yeah, that's an egg.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
I was like, great, that's cool. And he goes and
there's an egg. There's an extra carton right here. I
get it yet, And I'm like, wow, someone's actually doing
something nice for me, telling me this great grocery store secret.
And he goes, I'm gonna take both of them, and
he literally crowns the second one and walks out, leaving
me with the wall of crappy eggs with a.

Speaker 4 (17:09):
Ten dollars eggs.

Speaker 13 (17:10):
Right.

Speaker 2 (17:11):
Well, so if he showed you before he robbed you,
I guess yeah. I'm not talking to people at the
grocery store anymore. Learned Minds text Thing sevent eighty five
nine to two, tell us what's been on your mind too?
It's broken Jeffary in the morning textboard is blowing up
at seven eighty five nine two with people telling us
what's been on their minds, like this one. I think
this is a good question for alexis here. What's on
my mind is what do the twenties mean as in

(17:33):
phone taps weekday mornings on the twenties.

Speaker 4 (17:36):
That's from Sarah, Oh twenty o'clock or No. Seven twenty
twenty o'clock.

Speaker 7 (17:42):
Listen for your phone check twenty o'clock.

Speaker 2 (17:45):
Exact, you know, the eight twenty o'clock.

Speaker 4 (17:47):
I feel like her explanation is only going to make
sense to the person who texted that.

Speaker 5 (17:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (17:52):
Another text says, what's on my mind. I'm going on
a field trip with thirty eight second graders. I'm gonna
need some adult drinks afterwards dot dot or during Brook
what's your secret to sneaking the booze into that?

Speaker 4 (18:07):
You can put anything into a Caprice sun after.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
A hot tip And one more text says so right now,
I'm on a Brook and Jeffrey Binge on Spotify. I've
gone back since the very beginning, and I'm listening to everyone.
Every time Jeffrey says something a little off kilter, it
makes me squint my eyes and cock my head to
the side. It's so funny. Alexis always makes me laugh
whenever she doesn't quite get something. Jose always adds in

(18:35):
something to make me laugh out loud, and it's hilarious.
When you guys gang up on Brook we got at
her fan for life.

Speaker 4 (18:43):
That's nice.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
So you're saying, yeah, we're gonna do more of that today.

Speaker 9 (18:49):
Two brooking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (18:53):
The couple then ended up together on The Last Bachelor
got a combined total of two point six million followers.

Speaker 3 (19:00):
Wow, that's a lot. Is even more money?

Speaker 5 (19:03):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (19:04):
Sure, The winners of Love Island added three point three
million followers, But on this show, the most recent champion
of Battle of the Tinder Dates lost fourteen followers. Oh sorry, Yeah,
it definitely won't make you famous, but you'll be the
hero of your friend group. And a cautionary tale for
all of our listeners. Whose disastrous love life is the

(19:27):
most entertaining We're gonna find out in a brand new
Battle of the Tender Dates coming up right after this two.

Speaker 9 (19:33):
Hopeless one dating app Then dares you, guys swipe right?
The question is whose love life is more tragic?

Speaker 6 (19:44):
It's Battle of the Tinder Dates.

Speaker 2 (19:47):
It's the dating game show that's teaching a preschool class
on how to make it rain for mommy. Oh, it's
Battle of the Tender Dates, where two of our listeners
square off to find out whose love life is the most.
We'll explain the rules in just a second. First, let's
meet today's contestants. In this corner, his ideal date is

(20:07):
a romantic encounter on the Teacups ride at Disney with
a certain curvy lady Mouse and that's why the buddies
call him Minnie Vinnie.

Speaker 4 (20:22):
He's so many.

Speaker 2 (20:25):
In the other corner, his dating profile lets all the
ladies know it's slants and leans to the right talking
about his signature meet italics alex. Oh, we'll see about that.

Speaker 9 (20:43):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:44):
Here's how the game works. One contestant will start by
telling one of their worst date stories. The other will
try and come back and counter with the nightmare story
of their own. We're going back and forth for three
rounds until we declare a winner. Let's get it started
with Minnie Vinnie. Let's go.

Speaker 5 (20:59):
Okay, So I met a girl on tender go out
and she ends up spending the night Okay, next morning
she showers and leaves, and then later on the day
she texted me. She says she had a good time
and she made an improvement to my shower.

Speaker 2 (21:15):
Like reorganize something.

Speaker 8 (21:16):
Oh did she make the pressure hard? Because I hate
it when it's like week.

Speaker 4 (21:19):
Yeah, I'm hoping she's a female plumber as well. And
you just got done.

Speaker 2 (21:23):
Yeah, what did she do?

Speaker 5 (21:25):
She kind of ended up doing the opposite of fixing
the pressure. She took the shower handle.

Speaker 4 (21:30):
What he like, took it off and took it with her.

Speaker 5 (21:33):
Yeah, she just took it. She left a note, he said,
stop wasting the water. You're killing the seals. I'll give
it back if you promised de bait only once a week.

Speaker 2 (21:44):
Gosh, she likes a dirty boy.

Speaker 4 (21:46):
Yeah, she's using her powers for good, all right, she
really is.

Speaker 2 (21:53):
Alex.

Speaker 13 (21:54):
You sas at a bar and my date and I
wanted to play darts. So she was just the worst
at darts.

Speaker 4 (22:03):
And is that the end of the story, Like it
was so embarrassing.

Speaker 13 (22:07):
Yeah, no, it gets worse. So we're playing and she
throws a dart and it lands in the waitress's leg.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
Oh no, how many points does that work?

Speaker 13 (22:19):
Well, i'll tell you what it was good for us
getting kicked out of the bar.

Speaker 4 (22:22):
Yeah, oh god, I mean that's a reason.

Speaker 3 (22:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (22:26):
What's crazy though, is that she decided not to tell
me that she had in like an eye exam and
her eyes were like dilated and whatnot. She couldn't see anything.

Speaker 2 (22:36):
She is not going to give up on that. We're
on the round two, Vinnie, we're throwing it back to you.

Speaker 5 (22:42):
Okay, we decided to go to an escape room.

Speaker 4 (22:45):
Oh, an escape room, just the two of you.

Speaker 5 (22:48):
Yeah, just the two of us. So while we're solving clues,
she becomes I think she thought this before. She thinks
the whole thing is a government conspiracy. Wait, the escape
room in general?

Speaker 4 (23:01):
Oh, in general?

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Well, yeah, totally, So keep going.

Speaker 5 (23:04):
Yeah, if you think the government is testing us for
some reason, and then like the people running the rooms
are going to send those reports back to the lizard
people or whatever.

Speaker 4 (23:14):
Yeah, the eighteen year old showder behind the desk is
all part of the point.

Speaker 2 (23:19):
That's how they hired Tom Cruise in the Mission Impossible films.

Speaker 5 (23:22):
He escaped from a rope and at this point I realized,
oh great, I'm trapped in an escape room with a
conspiracy and nut job.

Speaker 2 (23:29):
That's good for you. They tend to be the wildest.

Speaker 4 (23:32):
Wait, are you telling me she didn't pass a government
test and wasn't able to get out?

Speaker 3 (23:36):
Yeah, she's like, I refuse to escape.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
Yeah, can you counter please?

Speaker 13 (23:44):
I wish.

Speaker 5 (23:45):
I went on the day with lizard Girl.

Speaker 2 (23:48):
What happened to you?

Speaker 14 (23:49):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (23:49):
So I went on a date with an aspiring actress
and I knew that she was like into the film industry.
But she wants to be like a queen of scream,
like a horror film actress.

Speaker 4 (23:58):
Yes, oh okay, that's a good goal.

Speaker 13 (24:01):
Yeah, yeah, great goal until like every little thing that
happens your fate scream like screaming at the top of
her lungs.

Speaker 4 (24:10):
She's a method actress character.

Speaker 13 (24:13):
Oh my god, it was so ridiculous. I never want
to see another horror movie again.

Speaker 3 (24:19):
Gets to the table.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
We're on to the third and final round here, So gentlemen,
we need your best stories. What have you got for us?

Speaker 5 (24:26):
Minnie, we went to a state fair, okay, and I
won a goldfish as a prize. The first thing she
told me, I have to keep it alive forever because
it symbolizes our relationship.

Speaker 4 (24:41):
No, can you replace it without her knowing like my parents?

Speaker 2 (24:46):
Yeah, that's our love fish.

Speaker 13 (24:48):
Ye.

Speaker 5 (24:49):
Well, this leads into it. We go back to my place,
we start making out and she starts crying. I turn
around and the fish is dead.

Speaker 13 (24:57):
Oh oh god, it killed itself.

Speaker 2 (25:04):
That's better than whatever story you were going to finish with.

Speaker 13 (25:09):
So al So, I went met up with this lady
for coffee and I sit down, we have our coffees,
and she's just straight up looking on her phone for
like ten minutes, like typing away. Did not acknowledge my
existence or anything like that. Weird, Okay, Yeah, I mean
like really into her phone. So I was like about
to leave, and then she grabbed my hand and showed
me her phone screen. Yeah, and she typed out like

(25:31):
this whole long thing about saving her voice until noon
because she's trying to get her voice to sound sexier.

Speaker 4 (25:40):
Did you ever get to hear it?

Speaker 13 (25:41):
Yeah? So it was eleven fifty and she's like made
me wait ten minutes, and then after ten minutes she
said bye and left.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
Oh hear the voice?

Speaker 3 (25:49):
Was it cool?

Speaker 4 (25:50):
She said? Bye? Was it hot?

Speaker 13 (25:54):
It was the least hot bye I've ever heard of.

Speaker 10 (25:58):
It.

Speaker 2 (25:58):
It's the final bell that means the match is over, judges,
let's score at Alexis.

Speaker 7 (26:03):
I'm gonna go Alex Shraving to watch your waitress get
hit with a dart.

Speaker 4 (26:07):
One for italics, Alex Man, I'm going Vinnie because of
the shower handle feet.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
We're all tied up. So it comes down to Jose. Congratulations, Minnie, Vinnie.
You did the impossible and you made Brooks sad dating
history look actually normal.

Speaker 4 (26:23):
Wow after what.

Speaker 15 (26:29):
You just.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
Laugh, crying tears, whatever it is, whatever it is, we
except you man and text in seven eight five nine
too if you want up here on the next edition
of Battle of the Tender Days. We got your phone
tab coming up right after.

Speaker 9 (26:41):
This freaking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (26:44):
Nowadays, if you go to one of those big box
stores for home improvement, you can literally say I want
a deck that's this size and in this spot in
my house, and they'll hire a team to go over
and just build it all for you.

Speaker 3 (26:57):
Yeah, you want to do this just to flirt with
some boys.

Speaker 2 (27:01):
Yeah, it sounds super convenient. It's way faster than you
doing it, and theoretically everything should go one hundred percent according.

Speaker 4 (27:10):
To play Oh it always does whenever you're do in
any type of construction, Jess, Well.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Unless the person hired to build it for you is
an ex British Black Ops agent named Clover. That's where
things can get a little sticky, and it's exactly what
happens in your phone? Tap right now?

Speaker 10 (27:30):
Why is this Sean?

Speaker 5 (27:36):
Yeah?

Speaker 13 (27:36):
Who's this?

Speaker 16 (27:37):
Me?

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Names Frank, but me might's call me Clover. When was
contracted through home depot to be about.

Speaker 10 (27:44):
A deck for you?

Speaker 13 (27:45):
Oh hi, yeah, thank you?

Speaker 1 (27:47):
Well a not your house right now on the job.
And if you're wondering only to have previous experience.

Speaker 17 (27:55):
Well hello, oh good, I'm glad you got experience. They
told me that they were going to send out a
good team, so.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
I'm definitely a professional. In nineteen eighty two, I was
in Caracas. I'm built an entire hut out of a
snake skin. And I'm not saying multiple snakes, just one
joint venomous bagga stretched them over the entire frame.

Speaker 15 (28:17):
And you're doing deaths now huh.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
On any specifications you won't maya know about.

Speaker 17 (28:25):
When you have the plans, I would assume.

Speaker 1 (28:27):
Right, affirmative, but not everything goes according to plan. Reminds
me of Nigeria in the seventies.

Speaker 17 (28:35):
Well, I bought custom railings and those are really expensive,
and I know there's a particular way that you need
to put them in. So I'm assuming they taught you,
you know, how to do that.

Speaker 10 (28:45):
Well, I don't read the instructions. I just do it.
I don't read.

Speaker 13 (28:53):
What do you mean you don't read well?

Speaker 1 (28:55):
I used to back in ninety seven and a toy
Whene's prison.

Speaker 10 (28:59):
I don't myself how not to read.

Speaker 1 (29:02):
That's why I wouldn't be able to verbalize any of
the secret documents to my enemy.

Speaker 17 (29:09):
So you unlearned reading?

Speaker 13 (29:11):
Is that what you're telling me?

Speaker 1 (29:13):
Affirmative? Anything is possible when you're in the line of fire.

Speaker 17 (29:18):
So are we good?

Speaker 2 (29:20):
Now?

Speaker 1 (29:21):
Well, before you go, I took the liberty of building
the trap door into the scenter of your deck.

Speaker 17 (29:27):
What what are you talking about all that way?

Speaker 1 (29:31):
If you have any hostiles arrive unannounced, you just press
a button and you vanish completely.

Speaker 13 (29:36):
Mate, I have children.

Speaker 17 (29:39):
You don't put trap doors in decks if you have kids.

Speaker 2 (29:42):
Even if you don't have children.

Speaker 1 (29:43):
Come on, you've got some little ones, do you? Or
build two then so I can escape at the exact
same time.

Speaker 13 (29:49):
You listen to me, because this has got to stop
right out here.

Speaker 10 (29:53):
Oh to hear at the house right now? What camouflage?
The children are hiding in the bushes?

Speaker 5 (29:57):
Okay, all right, I'm done with this call.

Speaker 17 (29:59):
Okay, just build the damn deck the way that the
plans were, and I do not want any damn trap doors.

Speaker 2 (30:06):
Called it that wink.

Speaker 13 (30:09):
No, no, no, no, I'm stop.

Speaker 6 (30:11):
I'm being serious.

Speaker 2 (30:12):
What do you want me to do with a roof?

Speaker 13 (30:14):
The roof?

Speaker 17 (30:15):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 13 (30:15):
There's nothing about the roof. You're building a deck.

Speaker 1 (30:18):
I'm on the roof right now. I'll see your neighbors.
They can't see me.

Speaker 13 (30:23):
You need to get off my property now, Okay.

Speaker 10 (30:25):
Well, I think I can make it to your neighbor's roof.
Bullzoy talk the chimney.

Speaker 17 (30:31):
Are you on drugs?

Speaker 13 (30:32):
What's work with you?

Speaker 2 (30:33):
Well, it's probably the fact that there's a prank phone call.
None of this is real.

Speaker 8 (30:36):
What hell, my name's Jose for the radio show Briocking
Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (30:40):
We're doing a phone tap on you.

Speaker 10 (30:43):
I'm not suspended on a roof right now.

Speaker 2 (30:45):
I wish I was.

Speaker 13 (30:48):
A trapped door in my deck.

Speaker 2 (30:50):
Where did you come up with us?

Speaker 10 (30:52):
You never know?

Speaker 1 (30:53):
And all of a sudden, a group of mafiosa walk
up on you in the middle of a barbecue.

Speaker 10 (30:57):
Might it's happened to me before? Noways in nineteens sixty.

Speaker 13 (31:00):
Two, you must be like eighty five years older is
on then, Yeah, that's what.

Speaker 10 (31:07):
The queen told me.

Speaker 1 (31:08):
And nineteen twelve, she's a very noise that I'm talking
about Free queens ago.

Speaker 3 (31:12):
By the way, God.

Speaker 9 (31:16):
Wake Up every morning was funk taps weekday mornings on
the twenties, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (31:23):
They say, trends are cyclical. All the old stuff that
went out of style years ago is suddenly back and
cool again, like baggy jeans, mid calf compression socks, blazers
with shoulder pads. Wait, damn it, Brooke, did you get
a hold of my notes again? Nobody likes shoulder pads.

Speaker 3 (31:44):
Nobody here.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
How hard you try, they're never going to be cool again.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
They're not.

Speaker 2 (31:48):
But fine, I will tell you one thing that's becoming
hot in the dating world all of a sudden, and
it's math.

Speaker 4 (31:55):
No even you said that with a question.

Speaker 2 (31:57):
I surprised, but that's what one of our says, and
it helped. It helped her to meet the perfect guy.
You're gonna hear how in your brand new second Date Update,
Next Second Date Update Date. I don't know why, but
in the last year or so on the show, it
seems like people are trying to hack the dating system more.

(32:20):
Oh yeah, they're not just trying to meet people and
let things happen the way that they happened. They're they're
actually strategizing beforehand.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Well because the other way wasn't working, Jeff, if you
realize that, well.

Speaker 2 (32:32):
Yeah, but I'm just surprised that the lengths people go to.
They're setting up more unique dates. They're trying new online techniques,
even laying down first date traps to catch the perfect person,
traps like oh did I say this was a modeling
job interview?

Speaker 3 (32:46):
Oops?

Speaker 2 (32:47):
Sorry, I meant first date stip auto correct.

Speaker 4 (32:52):
A drop h picture in the same thing. I was
totally going with one of those bear traps laws like
from the comics.

Speaker 2 (33:02):
No Wrong Way to Find Your Soul. And one of
our listeners emailed us saying she tested out a new
dating theory that she found online called optimal stopping math,
which immediately sounds sex. Oh yeah, stopping math, what for

(33:22):
little OSM girl?

Speaker 12 (33:24):
I mean that sounds way better the variable angles of
a nice sauceles dry?

Speaker 4 (33:31):
Can we get to her before you get too turned on?

Speaker 2 (33:34):
You don't want to solve for why with me?

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Bruther?

Speaker 4 (33:36):
I don't.

Speaker 2 (33:36):
Okay, I don't.

Speaker 4 (33:37):
I'm not into Pictagorian's theorem or whatever.

Speaker 2 (33:40):
Wow, it's dirty talk over there. Let's hear how it
actually works, though, and talk to Tara. She's the one
who emailed Tara. I know this is a dating segment,
but I would absolutely love to hear more about optimal math.
How does that work?

Speaker 14 (33:54):
Okay? I know it's boring, but hear me out.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
What are you talking about?

Speaker 14 (34:00):
It's just for people who basically are tired of playing
games and like texting forever. Okay, and it just basically
cuts right to finding the right person for you.

Speaker 2 (34:09):
How okay?

Speaker 4 (34:11):
Are you making your own algorithm right now?

Speaker 15 (34:13):
I mean?

Speaker 14 (34:13):
The theory is you go on twenty five first dates
as fast as you can.

Speaker 4 (34:18):
Wow, it's a first first date. Yes, keep up. This
is exactly how Jose did in math. Yeah, the word problem.

Speaker 2 (34:27):
I know, I'm already lost to Okay, twenty five different
first dates as quickly as you can.

Speaker 4 (34:32):
That's hard.

Speaker 14 (34:33):
Yeah, So you basically have twenty five candidates to choose between,
and you end up picking the one that's best for
you to continue with.

Speaker 4 (34:41):
One out of twenty five.

Speaker 6 (34:42):
Yeah, twenty five good to start with?

Speaker 4 (34:47):
Any dates? Yeah, a big wide neck.

Speaker 2 (34:49):
Well I think that's probably the point. Like, you date
a bunch of people as quickly as you can, and
then you get a big selection to choose from.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
Right, it sounds just like what the apps are already
doing to me.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
It sounds like your college days.

Speaker 9 (34:59):
Right.

Speaker 4 (35:00):
I wasn't looking for the one, I was looking for
the many.

Speaker 14 (35:04):
But it's it is different from the apps though, because
the thing is you need to meet all twenty five
guys really quickly, like pretty much within a week.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
What whoa wow?

Speaker 9 (35:14):
Wow? Really?

Speaker 4 (35:15):
Well, how are you doing that? Or do you work?

Speaker 14 (35:19):
Yeah? So I do work, but here's how I do
it office. Okay, wait, listen, what the purpose of meeting
them all so quickly is that? Basically, if you don't
do that, then the one you like is probably going
to move on, because you know, in these online dating situations,
it's fast, it's quick. Okay, okay, you can miss out
on somebody.

Speaker 4 (35:36):
Great. So how did you manage to go out with
twenty five people in one week?

Speaker 14 (35:40):
Okay? So this is what we did, Me and my girlfriend.
We decided we're going to do this together. So we
knocked out twenty first dates in one day.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
How oh Yeah, that sounds like you'd have to play
like you have like a spreadsheet for that.

Speaker 14 (35:56):
So what we did was we found a location that
had two cafes across the street from one another. Okay,
so my girlfriend, she had my Tinder and she was
swiping for me. She knows my type. She was setting
up basically fifteen to twenty minute long coffee dates with
these guys, back to back to back.

Speaker 4 (36:14):
So you were just bouncing between cafes, and you did
two different cafes so that the guys never overlapped into
the same place, right.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
Uh, That than like sitting in one cafe and letting
them roll through one after the other.

Speaker 4 (36:28):
Dude, did you get caught? I mean there's got to
be one guy who lingered later or you know, early.

Speaker 14 (36:33):
No, it was it worked out great, Like I actually
met a time guy. Some of them did cancel, some
of them were kind of like duds. Okay, Okay, there
was one that I liked the most.

Speaker 2 (36:43):
Okay, who is that?

Speaker 9 (36:45):
His name was Loell.

Speaker 4 (36:46):
Loll like like a lull in the conversation or LW
E L L Lowell. Yeah, oh yeah, you got a
hotel lol.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
No, I not under the age of seventy. I think
I knew it was okay? What made you? What made
you drawn to him out of twenty different guys?

Speaker 14 (37:10):
So basically what was sweet about him was he arrived
with a cookie, which I thought was really cute because
in my profile I say that I really love chocolate.

Speaker 2 (37:20):
That's a good idea.

Speaker 4 (37:21):
I must have been buzzing on so much caffeine it
just dawned on ya.

Speaker 2 (37:25):
Did you have to drink a latte every single time?

Speaker 4 (37:28):
You can't go to a coffee shop not buying some?

Speaker 14 (37:31):
I thought things other than the coffee, you know, I had,
you know, treats.

Speaker 2 (37:35):
Okay, limping across the streets.

Speaker 4 (37:40):
By taking nineteen cutting you off, he shows a little
gift for you. I mean, obviously that makes him stand
out from the crowd exactly.

Speaker 14 (37:49):
And I think going back, I think he was Date
number seventeen.

Speaker 2 (37:53):
Oh wow.

Speaker 14 (37:54):
I was really glad that I could honestly like still
focus by that point, because honestly, the day was super exhausting.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
One date sounds exhausting to me, let alone seventeen in
a row, back to back to back to back terrible.

Speaker 4 (38:06):
I mean, were you able to hold a conversation?

Speaker 3 (38:08):
Oh?

Speaker 14 (38:09):
Yeah, we had a really great, like fifteen minute hangout.
We've been texting afterwards, and I tried to set something
else up, but then in the last week, I don't know,
he kind of cooled off or whatever.

Speaker 4 (38:18):
Wait, when we get him on the phone, you don't
want us to mention that he was the best of twenty,
do you? Because I mean some guys No, no, no, Honestly,
though some guys may be flattered by that.

Speaker 2 (38:27):
Yeah, guys are competitive. We want to know that we're
the best out of a big group.

Speaker 8 (38:31):
You there, you go, Yeah, yeah, tell me after I
was the best in the middle of it.

Speaker 7 (38:35):
I feel good knowing.

Speaker 2 (38:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 14 (38:36):
I really just don't want him to know because I
feel like he might find it really cringey.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
I mean, it's way different.

Speaker 2 (38:43):
So yeah, okay, well we'll keep it a secret. Then
when we call loll for you and try and get
you your you have the right number, right, because.

Speaker 4 (38:50):
You numbers just don't mean. What if his name is wrong,
what if we're calling him the roll name? That's what
I would do.

Speaker 14 (38:58):
But he's the only one I've been texting.

Speaker 2 (39:00):
Okay, okay, this is really interesting. An optimal stopping math
experiment where Tara met twenty guys in one day, back
to back to back to back. We're gonna call the
one that she actually liked when we do your second
date update right after this second date update. Going on
twenty dates with twenty dudes all in one day.

Speaker 8 (39:23):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (39:23):
Wow, that's a big statement.

Speaker 4 (39:25):
It sounds like a Kate Hudson movie, doesn't it.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
Yeah, sounds like an episode of the Bachelorette. But it's
actually a dating theory called optimal stopping math, and it's
what one of our listeners, Tara set up for herself
the other night. With the help of her friend, she
bounced between two coffee shops back and forth, meeting twenty
different guys over the course of a few hours to
pick the one that she liked the best. And who

(39:49):
was that? It was a guy named Lowell l O
W E L l L. Because I will have a
whole fit about it. But he came with a chocolate
cookie U for her. Yeah, Brooke is going to steal
this guy. If he doesn't agree to a date.

Speaker 4 (40:04):
He's actually gonna take his cookies.

Speaker 2 (40:07):
Okay, rob him whatever the rest of them.

Speaker 4 (40:09):
I do not need another man, Jeffrey, I just need
more cookies.

Speaker 2 (40:13):
Your chocolate. But we're trying to hook her up with
Loll one more time because they've been texting but hasn't
been able to lock down a date. How do you
feel him before we call him, Tara.

Speaker 14 (40:22):
I'm interested to see what he's going to say. I
mean curious.

Speaker 15 (40:26):
I guess.

Speaker 4 (40:26):
Okay, if this doesn't work out, are you gonna call
us back tomorrow for number two dude?

Speaker 2 (40:33):
Second best option?

Speaker 14 (40:34):
No, he's the only one I clicked with, honestly.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
All or nothing. Here, Well, let's call this guy and
we'll see if he picks up. Good luck to me.
Here we go just to say his name. Hello. Hey,

(40:59):
is this loll Yeah speaking, I did it? Okay, so,
uh you are loll And we are a radio show. Hey,
we're called Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 3 (41:11):
What's up?

Speaker 5 (41:12):
Yeah, I know you guys.

Speaker 15 (41:13):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Oh you do?

Speaker 14 (41:15):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (41:16):
Well, welcome on to our show.

Speaker 9 (41:17):
Here.

Speaker 2 (41:18):
We're doing a second date update today.

Speaker 15 (41:20):
Oh okay.

Speaker 2 (41:22):
Yeah, that's a good thing. You know that, because, I mean,
somebody is trying to get a hold of you and
you're not calling them back.

Speaker 15 (41:29):
Yeah. I guess I'm just thinking about it, all right.

Speaker 4 (41:35):
This would be so crazy to get like you're just
trying to process everything that makes sense?

Speaker 2 (41:39):
What we'd don't hurt yourself thinking, we'll just tell you
who it is. Her name is Tara.

Speaker 15 (41:44):
Oh yeah, okay, you guys had a well that's okay.

Speaker 2 (41:48):
I feel like the smile left his voice.

Speaker 4 (41:52):
I mean you only had like a fifteen to twenty
minute date. Like, it's not like you guys had a
big long connection.

Speaker 14 (41:59):
Wow.

Speaker 15 (42:00):
I mean there was some talking. I guess you could
say beforehand, but yeah, you're right, more or less.

Speaker 13 (42:06):
What does she want to know?

Speaker 2 (42:08):
Well, basically she wants to know why she hasn't seen
you again.

Speaker 3 (42:11):
Yeah.

Speaker 13 (42:13):
Well, I mean I don't know what to say to her.

Speaker 8 (42:16):
To be honest, would you chemistry like easy to talk to?

Speaker 13 (42:21):
No?

Speaker 15 (42:21):
I mean she she was definitely cool. It's just I
guess you could tell her I know about everything. That
would be a way to put it.

Speaker 4 (42:34):
Mean no, no, no, let him explain. What do you
mean you know about everything?

Speaker 15 (42:37):
What do you know about I mean, I know I
know about the speed dating or the whatever.

Speaker 4 (42:42):
How'd you find out.

Speaker 15 (42:45):
Tara's friends told me?

Speaker 3 (42:47):
Why would they do that?

Speaker 4 (42:48):
How do you know Tara's friends?

Speaker 15 (42:50):
May mean she texted me, It's it's weird apparently she's
been texting me kind of the whole time.

Speaker 4 (42:55):
Wait, who who's she?

Speaker 15 (42:58):
Tara's friend was texting me in advance of us meeting
up for this copy date thing. Why and he set
up the date. That's the point, Like, Okay, it's just
like a half catfish thing. I met the real Terra
in person, but the person who I was texting and
emailing back and forth with somebody totally different.

Speaker 4 (43:20):
Wait, but how did you know it wasn't the real
terror that you were texting with?

Speaker 15 (43:24):
Well, because Tara's friend told me after the date.

Speaker 2 (43:26):
Oh, she just came out and was like, hey, by
the way, I was the one that reached out to you,
not Tara.

Speaker 7 (43:31):
You have to be two different phone numbers.

Speaker 13 (43:33):
No, it was stranger than that.

Speaker 15 (43:35):
It was more like, hey, guess what Tara liked you
the most, which was confusing because I didn't know who
was texting me at first, and then we got into it,
I found out that there was twenty guys, twenty five
people speed dating thing.

Speaker 2 (43:48):
Oh my god, she told you the whole thing.

Speaker 4 (43:51):
So what are you saying? You like Tara's friend or
you're freaked out about the speed dating sitch?

Speaker 15 (43:56):
I mean the speed dating thing whatever. There's weird things
that happen in life.

Speaker 2 (44:01):
And you you were the best guy out of all
twenty guys, so you should feel good about it any day.

Speaker 4 (44:06):
Lead with that.

Speaker 2 (44:07):
Yeah, now that he.

Speaker 15 (44:08):
Knows, I mean, sure, I get that, But I mean
that's not really how I think of it. It's more
just the deceitful nature of it.

Speaker 4 (44:16):
But you wouldn't have showed up if she said, Hey,
I'm going to try to line up twenty five dates.
You want to be one to twenty five?

Speaker 13 (44:22):
Uh?

Speaker 15 (44:22):
Probably not?

Speaker 2 (44:23):
No, I got you there.

Speaker 15 (44:25):
I mean, yeah, sure, I don't know anybody who would
say yes to that.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
Okay, good boy.

Speaker 4 (44:29):
That's what dating is. I mean, sure she would have
gone on twenty five dates in a month and you
would have been okay with that. But just because she
did it in an afternoon, it's like the timeline.

Speaker 15 (44:38):
Okay, no, no, no, that's not what I mean. It's
more okay, look to put it in simplest terms, I
like the friend.

Speaker 4 (44:44):
Oh okay, okay, Oh that's the real stuff right there.

Speaker 15 (44:49):
I mean, Tara was fine, Tara's a good person whatever.
Like nothing against Tara, it's just she's not the one
I thought I was talking to.

Speaker 2 (44:56):
But you don't even know what well, you don't even
know what Tara's friend.

Speaker 15 (44:59):
Looks like, right, I mean no, but I'd still take
somebody I haven't met in person who's at least submitting
there are.

Speaker 2 (45:07):
Some type of guy that likes women for their personalities.

Speaker 4 (45:10):
That's what loser.

Speaker 3 (45:13):
What is going on?

Speaker 4 (45:15):
Very nice little But I don't think that Tera is
gonna like that.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Yeah, because if you listen, then you know that Tara's
on the other line right now hearing this whole thing.

Speaker 15 (45:25):
Oh yeah, right.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
I don't know if she's going to be laughing though, Terry.

Speaker 14 (45:33):
There, Yeah, I'm here, and I'm just so confused because
we had such a great connection when we met in person.

Speaker 2 (45:40):
Yeah what about your your friend though, going behind your
back and revealing the whole plan to him?

Speaker 3 (45:46):
Yeah, what the heck?

Speaker 14 (45:47):
That's messed up. I'm definitely going to talk to her
about that. But like, she's not interested in you like
that like you were. It was for me, like you said,
what did she say that?

Speaker 15 (46:02):
Just that she'd like to see me for real, that's all.

Speaker 1 (46:05):
Oh my god, So this is cutting Tara out of it.

Speaker 14 (46:10):
I just don't believe it.

Speaker 4 (46:12):
You don't.

Speaker 14 (46:13):
I felt like we really connected. I'm just shocked.

Speaker 15 (46:16):
I mean, you're a very nice person, don't get me wrong,
it's just the art once would have wanted something like that.

Speaker 2 (46:21):
Oh my god, I guess, mumble, mumble whatever.

Speaker 3 (46:24):
I gotta saying.

Speaker 4 (46:26):
I'm gonna paraphrase here.

Speaker 2 (46:27):
Yeah, I guess it's just the highs and the lowells
of the dating.

Speaker 4 (46:32):
You like this game. No, yeah, that was a whole
point in your career that really was, so now that we've.

Speaker 13 (46:39):
Reached it, I'm going to use that though.

Speaker 15 (46:41):
I'm definitely gonna use.

Speaker 2 (46:42):
That I'm dating Paris a friend because we're supposed to
offer to send you and Tara out on another date.

Speaker 4 (46:48):
I mean, you can at least give Tara one more try.
You only had fifteen to twenty minutes with her. You
haven't even met the friend in person that's going to
make her friend.

Speaker 15 (46:56):
Of said, Look at the bottom line is, at the
end of the day, I had a strong your connection
with the roommate who I was talking to for what
like a week and a half, two weeks Tara, I
was like, it was fifteen minutes. It was basically hello, goodbye.

Speaker 13 (47:11):
I mean, it's just that simple.

Speaker 15 (47:12):
I'd rather date her.

Speaker 4 (47:14):
I hope that's okay, Tara. I mean, your girlfriend was
an amazing wing woman, Like, that's a lot of work.

Speaker 2 (47:19):
She reward from the waiting woman ended up taking over
the whole plane though.

Speaker 4 (47:24):
Well, now we're wing women in her like now it's
like back and forth, you know, you wing the wing
and too many ways.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Yeah, there's literally no one in the cockpit at this point.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
So I guess we need to get an answer from you, Lowel,
yes or no on dating Tara one more time, and
we would pay for it if you met up with
her again.

Speaker 15 (47:41):
I just feel like it would be disingenuous. I'm gonna
say no.

Speaker 4 (47:45):
Oh wow, but you'll see him at your apartment this weekend.
It sounds like, Tara, Oh god, no you okay?

Speaker 14 (47:54):
Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just upset.

Speaker 2 (47:57):
Yeah, Tara, we're sorry. I know you probably feel really
really bad about how this ended. But at least that
joke that I said earlier was really really funny. Remember
that'll keep you laughing for like a month. Wow, the
highs and the lowlls.

Speaker 3 (48:09):
Of your life.

Speaker 4 (48:10):
Yeah, you didn't need to repeat it.

Speaker 2 (48:12):
No, this is a Lowell moment. Yeah, Okay, we're ending.

Speaker 14 (48:15):
I'm hanging up now.

Speaker 4 (48:16):
Yeah, okay, I would too, Jeffrey.

Speaker 9 (48:20):
Brooking Jeffrey in the morning man.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
Tara was really put in a tough position there finding
out simultaneously that the one guy she actually liked out
of twenty was not only interested in another person, but
that other person happens to be her friend, who went
behind her back to reveal the big plan.

Speaker 4 (48:39):
To be awkward conversation because it sounds like the girls
live together too, Yeah, yeah, I did too.

Speaker 2 (48:48):
I believe that's called double jeopardy and it's worth twice
as many points.

Speaker 4 (48:52):
Oh are we still going on the math nerdy angle.

Speaker 6 (48:54):
On all this?

Speaker 2 (48:54):
I don't really know, Okay, I just know doubly awkward
for that friend situation.

Speaker 4 (49:00):
I know, but it's one of those things where it
sucks in the moment, but you know ten years down
the line when the roommate's married to lay.

Speaker 6 (49:08):
Yeah it's true.

Speaker 2 (49:09):
Yeah, no pressure, loll a better marrier. And if you
ever want help with your dating life, we can always
try to do it. Email the show. We'll call that
person who's not calling you back and go check out
all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts
at Brook and.

Speaker 9 (49:21):
Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
Uh oh, I'm only doing this because I know my
co host well enough. It's Brook and Jeffrey.

Speaker 4 (49:30):
In the Morning.

Speaker 2 (49:31):
Everyone arm, Please try to contain yourself.

Speaker 8 (49:34):
I don't know.

Speaker 3 (49:34):
I'm getting get anxious. Now we have alarm's going.

Speaker 2 (49:37):
I had to set off an alarm because there's a
new item at Costco. Everyone is going crazy.

Speaker 4 (49:44):
What is it? I will elbow my way through any crowd.

Speaker 2 (49:48):
Remember when I said, please try to contain yourselves five
seconds ago. Let's go back to that moment, because Costco
was coming out with a new three pound Costco banana
cream pile. That is my favorite pie.

Speaker 4 (50:03):
Jeffrey.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
I'm showing everyone the picture of it right now. We're
gonna have the photo up on the stories at Broken Jeffrey.

Speaker 3 (50:11):
You can slip. You literally can just open the plastic.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
And you guys, in high school, my best friend and
I were so cool. That's all we would do is
eat entire banana cream piles together. Yeah, and then it's
not everybody else to tell him that we went to
a party from another school.

Speaker 2 (50:29):
All right, Wow, it was just one pie. Sana cream parties,
sad stories from our childhood is for a different segment. Okay,
save that for me.

Speaker 4 (50:38):
I buy one of these and bring it into her house.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Look, but as you can imagine, this pie is made
with real bananas, banana cream filling, and a thick layer
of caramel whipped cream.

Speaker 4 (50:51):
Especially when you say it like Jeffrey does, it sounds
so much fancy Brook.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
How's that summer bod doing right now?

Speaker 3 (50:57):
You good?

Speaker 4 (50:58):
You know what it is? Full of it?

Speaker 2 (51:02):
Do you remember the five pound peanut butter pie from
a year ago at Costco that everybody went nuts over
that Brook made her son kick an elderly man in
order to get her hands on one. In line, he.

Speaker 4 (51:13):
Didn't kick the man, He just kicked the man's cane.

Speaker 3 (51:17):
But customers could.

Speaker 2 (51:18):
Get Samanta to my bad, But customers are saying this
hefty new banana cream dessert fits right into the mount
rushmore of Costco pie.

Speaker 4 (51:28):
It's got caramel drizzle all over it.

Speaker 2 (51:30):
I mean yeah, I said that.

Speaker 4 (51:31):
Remember you said caramel whipped cream.

Speaker 2 (51:36):
So my bad again, I'm sorry for not describing the
pie and whatever it is. You're welcome, America. I am
sorry that Brook is gonna take them all. Laser stories
is coming up right after this. It's the radio segment

(51:57):
that's telling a helpful new products called the poor need
to escape a boring meeting or a lame conversation. Just
place the portable hole on the ground, step in, and
disappear into the void forever.

Speaker 4 (52:11):
Good genius.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
I wish I could do it right now, but I can't,
because it's time for laser Stories, the segment where we
read weird news stories around the world, just like everyone
else does, except we've got a laser and there's other
unholy hole pluggers. Just don't. This first laser story is
out of Canada. Recently, thousands of Canadians descended on the
small town of Drumheller, about seventy miles northeast of Calgary. Okay,

(52:34):
the reason the Tourism Board launched an all out assault
on the world record for largest gathering of people dressed
as dinosaurs.

Speaker 4 (52:45):
That's so good. I just saw they try to do
a bunch of Kyle's in Kyle, Texas, and they didn't.

Speaker 2 (52:51):
Records not as cool as dinosaur gaped after they didn't.

Speaker 4 (52:56):
Yeah, correctord.

Speaker 2 (52:57):
The lame record of two hundred and fifty two I
know dress ups was set in Los Angeles five years ago.

Speaker 4 (53:03):
Dude, in like such a huge city too. They couldn't
do better than that exactly.

Speaker 2 (53:08):
So they were one hundred percent positive they could beat that.
So the day came, and so did the cars and
all the costumes and even more cars.

Speaker 4 (53:17):
Jeffrey, if you build it, they will come.

Speaker 2 (53:19):
At one point, there were estimates of over six thousand
t rexes walking around.

Speaker 6 (53:24):
Oh my god.

Speaker 4 (53:26):
Yeah, until a kid gets lost and can't find his
mom because everyone's in the same in place.

Speaker 2 (53:31):
This picture though, of the gathering, it's so funny to
see all of them all together in one place, Oh
my god.

Speaker 4 (53:39):
And they dress their even some of them have clothes
on top of their gas. That's unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
There was a problem. They only got an estimate of
the number of t Rexes walking around because they weren't
prepared to count that many people showing up.

Speaker 6 (53:56):
You count that.

Speaker 2 (53:57):
The official count was supposed to be done by handing
out wristbands, but they only had three thousand of.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Them, Oh my god, and gone more than.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Three thousand, Wayne Moore. And that would have been fine.
They could have just settled for three thousand is the number.
But a bunch of t Rexes with wristbands were seen
leaving the event too early. Oh no, and to break
the record, they all needed to stay in one spot
for a full minute, and that didn't happen.

Speaker 4 (54:21):
T Rex could follow the rules job.

Speaker 2 (54:25):
So officially, no record was broken, just all around dino chaos.
The tourist board announced the sad news on Facebook, but
said don't worry. They're making this an annual thing and
they say they will be fully prepared next year.

Speaker 5 (54:41):
This next.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Laser Stories out of Atlanta, Georgia State University recently sent
out about fifteen hundred welcome emails for the upcoming school years. Yeah,
one problem though, not everyone who got them was actually
accepted into the university. Oh what Now, technically it wasn't

(55:02):
an official acceptance letter, but the kids who receive them
definitely got that impression.

Speaker 4 (55:07):
Yikes.

Speaker 2 (55:08):
So school realized the air and sent out retractions.

Speaker 4 (55:12):
Yeah, oh, how long did they already call their grandma
and let her go?

Speaker 2 (55:16):
The follow up notices explained the situation and told the
students they are still being considered. But that didn't really help.
Ye one mom wrote to the school and said, our
daughter won't talk about it. She won't even come out
of her room.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
All day.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
Yeah, that's right. But you know life is filled with
disappointment kids, so get used to that.

Speaker 4 (55:34):
I know I was gonna say it is a little
slice of reality.

Speaker 2 (55:37):
Following, Georgia State says they will now be triple checking
their process to make sure this never happens again. And
if it does, then they're gonna have to start quadruple
checking to make sure it doesn't happen just in case
they need a redo. On the redo, they will be prepared.

Speaker 4 (55:52):
I think they need to take email one to one.

Speaker 2 (55:54):
Yeah, this next laser story is out of summer madness.

Speaker 3 (55:57):
Oh so mad.

Speaker 2 (55:59):
The unofficial start of swimming pool season is Memorial Day weekend. Yes,
and this year's hottest new pool accessory may be the
coolest ever.

Speaker 4 (56:08):
What is it?

Speaker 2 (56:08):
I say that because the candy company that makes airheads
have fully developed the first underwater vending machine. Here's here's
how it looks like on their website. We'll love the
picture on the brook and Jeffrey instra stories Brooks, how
would you just how would you describe what that looks like?

Speaker 4 (56:27):
It looks like a vending machine that's just sat at
the bottom of a pool. Jeff that says on it.

Speaker 2 (56:32):
So, this first of its kind underwater vending machine dispenses
airheads wall submerged in a pool, and they're selling a
limited number of these online.

Speaker 4 (56:42):
Okay, wait, here's that question. How do you get it
to drop to the bottom of the machine when it's
in the pool?

Speaker 3 (56:48):
How do you shake it?

Speaker 4 (56:49):
You to bring cash down there with you?

Speaker 2 (56:52):
I do have answers for these. You're not going to
be feeding wet money into it. There's a screen that
asks you to pay by doing pool tricks in front
of it to get your cane. That's so good, like
backflaps or pretending to be at a tea party.

Speaker 4 (57:07):
Do you think even the machine is gonna get tired of? Look? Mom,
look what you didn't see? You didn't see that one?

Speaker 3 (57:13):
You've done? Thirty six? Can involved away kid.

Speaker 2 (57:16):
Of course, this isn't gonna come cheap either. They say
the machines will come with a lifetime supply of airheads
and will cost seven grand.

Speaker 4 (57:23):
Wow. Is it a life time supply only if you're underwater,
because your life is not going to be quite as long.

Speaker 2 (57:29):
That's a good point. Here's the caveat though. The machines
will go on sale beginning on Monday, Memorial Day.

Speaker 4 (57:34):
You can actually buy the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (57:36):
Yeah, and at that point they'll post the specs for
the pool edition. So we don't know exactly how big
or small it's gonna be. It could look different than
it does in the ad, but it does sound like
it will be real.

Speaker 4 (57:47):
Okay, oh wow, you have to get it. Except airheads
are the worst candy.

Speaker 2 (57:52):
Yeah yeah, This next laser story is out of cell
Phone Central. Recently, a study found that older foots were
confused by some basic emojis, like the flushed face with
wide eyes and blushed cheeks.

Speaker 4 (58:06):
Yeah, what they think it was.

Speaker 2 (58:07):
They don't know what that means.

Speaker 4 (58:08):
Oh, they don't get embarrassed anymore because their life is
too long.

Speaker 2 (58:12):
But let's face it, there are some emojis that nobody understands.
When a new study was conducted that found the most
confusing emojis for everyone, no matter how old are young
they are. Okay, here's the top four and what people
think they mean? Number four nail polish.

Speaker 4 (58:29):
Doesn't it just mean you're getting your nails down hand
with your nails some people?

Speaker 8 (58:33):
That's for like backhanded insults are like, okay, when you're
being petty?

Speaker 4 (58:36):
Really, I think it's just like getting ready.

Speaker 2 (58:39):
You've heard a bunch of different ones in here. Some
people think it means classy or posh. Number three dashing away.
Most people think it means moving fast, but others use
it as passing gas or feeling.

Speaker 4 (58:54):
Exhausted because the cloud of dusty.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
Number two upside down face.

Speaker 3 (59:00):
It's pretty universal.

Speaker 2 (59:01):
Most people think it means sarcasm, but others use it
as smiling through pain or if you're trying to be
passive aggressive.

Speaker 3 (59:09):
Yeah, everything's fine upside down.

Speaker 2 (59:13):
And the number one emoji that people just don't get
these days is money with wings?

Speaker 4 (59:19):
Does that mean that your budget's gone?

Speaker 2 (59:21):
Most people think it means losing money. Others use it
as gaining money, though, or even transferring money to someone.

Speaker 4 (59:27):
Okay, look at a cup half full group out there.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
The one that I don't get is the shell with wings.
Is that some sort of Mario Kart reference? Or is
it the secret code to get into this guy's apartment?
Either way, I'm going to be texting it to them
all day long. And that's how means Laser Stories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
same time on Friday.

Speaker 9 (59:52):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Today, we have a return player named Christina.

Speaker 4 (01:00:04):
Why are you so somber?

Speaker 2 (01:00:05):
When the last time on the show she lost and
her quote for why yeah, she says, we cheated. What
it came down to the very last question, and Christina says,
we never let her answer, causing her to lose the game,
and she never got the Brook and Jeffrey monographed beer

(01:00:29):
koozy that her family has always wanted. So Christina slunk
off into the shadows, her head hung in defeat. But
now months later she is back to say cheaters be damned.
She will claim vengeance once and for all, and vows

(01:00:49):
to bring justice to the crime ridden airwaves of this
radio station. Shift.

Speaker 16 (01:00:55):
When she has finished, she will stand alone on top
of the smoke during ruins of this show and laughed
maniacally saying this brook wad.

Speaker 4 (01:01:06):
On me down?

Speaker 2 (01:01:10):
Jeffrey bringing music down? Or I am being a little
dramatically the.

Speaker 4 (01:01:17):
Paper you just crumpled the questions.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Yeah, I did crumple of all the questions, didn't I.

Speaker 4 (01:01:22):
You got a little carried away. How are you doing, Christina?

Speaker 18 (01:01:25):
I'm doing great and you're going down?

Speaker 4 (01:01:27):
Okay. You sound just as maniacal as Jeffrey did.

Speaker 2 (01:01:30):
Let's hear your evil laugh, Christine, do it. We've created
a monster perfect. Let's say Brooke out of the studio
and let's go over the rules for everybody. Got thirty
seconds to answer as many questions as possible. If you
don't know when, you could say past. But you have
to beat Brooke outright. If you want to win. Are
you ready?

Speaker 18 (01:01:48):
I'm ready?

Speaker 5 (01:01:49):
All right?

Speaker 2 (01:01:49):
Revenge will be yours today. Good luck. Your time starts now.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was born on this day in
eighteen fifty nine. He was the author of what famous
mysteries series Sherlock Holme. What is the most abundant gas
in our atmosphere? Oxygen hydrogen or nitrogen.

Speaker 14 (01:02:08):
Hydrogen?

Speaker 2 (01:02:09):
Blue Steel is a modeling post from what comedy film
starng Ben Stiller.

Speaker 18 (01:02:14):
Oh Zoolander and my husband does it best?

Speaker 2 (01:02:17):
In boxing? What does the T in TKO stand for?

Speaker 18 (01:02:20):
Heck Nicole?

Speaker 2 (01:02:21):
On this day in nineteen fifty six, NBC first unveiled
its new logo on television. Which bird was it? And
We're going to give you extra time to answer?

Speaker 3 (01:02:29):
Yes?

Speaker 15 (01:02:30):
Oo oh Peacock, Well done, Christina.

Speaker 2 (01:02:35):
Now Brooke is going to come back. Into the studio
and it says on my screener here that you live
in a very rural area. And apparently something strange happened yesterday.

Speaker 18 (01:02:46):
My son was like, Mom, there was a cow on
the way home, like with like these giant horns. And
I was like that, And then I looked on the
Facebook page and all of a sudden there's like all
these people posting like those to Highland cows.

Speaker 4 (01:03:01):
This walking down in our road, like the Scottish Highland cows.
Those big Harry, those big Hairry.

Speaker 6 (01:03:07):
Was you were so cute.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
Now Brookes, your turn? Are you ready?

Speaker 4 (01:03:11):
I'm ready?

Speaker 2 (01:03:12):
Your time starts now, Sir Arthur and Arthur Conan Doyle
was born on this day in eighteen fifty nine. He
was the author of what famous mystery series Nancy Drew.
What is the most abundant gas in our atmosphere? Oxygen
hydrogen or nitrogen hydrogen? Blue Steel is a modeling pose
from what comedy film starring Ben Stiller.

Speaker 4 (01:03:31):
Oh what is it called blue Steel pass? I can't remember?

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
In boxing, what does the T in TKO stand for?

Speaker 4 (01:03:39):
Total?

Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
On this day, in nineteen fifty six, NBC first unveiled
its new logo on television. Which bird was it?

Speaker 4 (01:03:46):
Teacock?

Speaker 17 (01:03:48):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
This is it? Will vengeance be Christina's today? Let's go
to the scoreboard with Jose.

Speaker 12 (01:03:55):
Nothing says Lovin like like gress it rolls blaios, Christina,
you got four?

Speaker 10 (01:04:02):
Wow?

Speaker 4 (01:04:03):
I the a Steel did me and I can't remember
it's with Owen Wilson. What is that movie called?

Speaker 3 (01:04:08):
Well, you'll find out soon.

Speaker 19 (01:04:10):
Brook only what Christina?

Speaker 2 (01:04:20):
You did it? You took down Brook.

Speaker 6 (01:04:22):
Congratulations.

Speaker 2 (01:04:24):
Let's go to the answers for everybody. Sir Arthur Conan
Doyle was born on this day in eighteen fifty nine.
He was the author of Sherlock Holmes. The most abundant
gas in our atmosphere is nitrogen. Seventy eight percent of
our atmosphere is made up of it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:38):
I was the answer because I'm gassy.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
Oh I get it. Blue Steele is a modeling pose
from zoo Land. Yeah, Derek Zoolander.

Speaker 4 (01:04:48):
It was like they should have called it blue Steel true.

Speaker 2 (01:04:51):
The t n TKO stands for technical technical Knockout. On
this day, in nineteen fifty six, NBC unveiled its new
logo of the peacock.

Speaker 4 (01:05:00):
Gay Gotta Bay. Those were hard ones. Christina not really.

Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
Christina, Mike Drop, not only did you beat Brooke, but
just for playing, you also win two tickets to see
Justin Willman perform at the Snow Quality Casino. Best known
as the creator of the hit Netflix show Magic for Humans,
his tour comes to snow Qualm Casino on June seventh.

Speaker 14 (01:05:27):
That's awesome.

Speaker 18 (01:05:27):
I love you, Ocean Fever, Pimoni and all.

Speaker 4 (01:05:30):
Did you just shout out your kids with the cows
the kids, Christina?

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
Thanks for playing. Come back anytime. Well, We're gonna do
win Brooks Bucks again, same time tomorrow.

Speaker 9 (01:05:41):
Freaking Jeffrey in the morning.