October 20, 2025 • 7 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t have to… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's teamed up with Lil John
to create a new bottled water called turned Down for Whatcher?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Why not Jo? I was supposed to make it twelve
years ago, but I say it's very old. I couldn't
hold it in any longer.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news
stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
we've got a laser. Those are the salt shakers. Just
dump this first Laser Stories out of America.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hurrah, you say you? No one else I'll get We'll
wait to hear the story first.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Daniel Swinson, a Minnesota lawyer, says he was watching TV
with his family after dinner when he heard a noise
coming from the other room. But before he could get up,
his rumba came around the corner, chasing the pet cat
while yelling multiple racial slurs.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That's awful. I'm laughing for that. That's hilariously awful.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The crazy thing about this story is it's not unusual.
Owners in multiple cities are complaining about their rumbas getting
hacked by strangers who, once they get in, quickly change
the password and do horrible stuff. It happened to a
homeowner in California where the roomba began chasing his dog,
(01:27):
and another person in El Paso, Texas, who reported the
rumba was cursing at them in multiple languages.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Like a bilingual room.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Apparently the parent company, called Ecovas, is extremely susceptible to hacking,
but they have come out and said an update patch
is coming in November, just in time for the holidays,
and after all of us already get hacked. Yeah, this
next laser stories out of retail world. Bath and Bodyworks
(01:58):
just had to issue a public apology saying we are
very sorry about our KKK looking.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Candles us three k's there job.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I sure did a I'm gonna show my host the
pictures of it. The store released their holiday candle assortment
recently and it came with a questionable one called snowed
In and the scent of it was fine, but the
label on the jar was not because it's supposed to
be a tiny picture of a paper cutout of a snowflake,
(02:29):
which I do see. You can see the snowflake, but
you can see the white hoods.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah. Fortunately nobody caught it.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It came out looking more like white hoods with cutouts
for eyes.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Because they're all connected.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Because while many people online were taken aback by the mistake,
others said it's obviously a snowflake and people are just
trying to get upset for no reason.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's probably not gonna be something I would put on
my shelf of my house, but you will buy it.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Understand the mistake, but yeah, it's pretty glary either way.
They removed it from all of their stores and said
we greatly apologize to anyone we've offended and are swiftly
working to have this item removed. Okay, yeah, but go
get yours at Brooks House in the basement in the
shape of a pentagram today that's discussing this.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Next Lazer story is out of Jonesboro, Arkansas. Story.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, we're not in a great spot for it.
Sixty eight year old Larry Barnett owns a car dealership
called Legend Motor Company.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh thank god, it's going to be something bad.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Last week, he but dialed a former employee just as
he was in mid conversation about.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Him, STUPI is a stupid Does we still calling nowadays?
My parents all the time? My mom does me and
my husband.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
What I really and literally, every time a husband puts
it in his pocket, it calls me weird.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I haven't heard an talking yet, but I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Waiting cracking device you put on his phone. Now I
know what you're thinking. He wasn't caught putting the guy
down or making fun of him. Oh okay, It was
actually much worse. He was attempting to hire a hit
man to kill the guy.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
He just fire the guy? What kind of what all?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's not clear why Larry hated his ex employee so
much that he wanted him dead, but as the guy
listened on the other line, he heard Larry tell the
hit man where he lived. Then he heard quote, I
don't care if you have to burn his house to
the ground with him in it.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't care what you have to do. Make it
look like an accident.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Why when you're hiring a hit man, does everybody say
that No crap, I'm gonna make it look.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Like he's still yelling on the phone like I do. Hello, Hello. Yeah.
So the guy called the cops.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
They came to his house, found his gas stove had
been tampered with already, and Larry was arrested for conspiracy
to commit murder already crazy, all because of the luck
of a butt dial.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, we should be thankful. Yeah, this next laser story
is out of truth town. I thought we were just there, Jeff.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
There's some lies that are so common that they don't
even register when you hear them anymore. So a reason
survey ask people for the most common ones they either
tell themselves or they hear all the time. Number seven,
I'm only five minutes away.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Did if my best friend texts me that I know
that she hasn't even showered yet. It's not five minutes.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's more like fifteen or twenty or probably forty five
an hour an hour.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Number six, I don't care what other people think.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh, researchers say, you absolutely do.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Almost everyone does to some extent, and if you don't,
you're some sort of psychopath.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's to the extent, and it's who do you care?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah? Number five.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
When I recommend a movie and the person says, oh,
I'll add that to my list, Oh yeah, I'm not. No,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, I do. When you guys suggest videos for me
to watch with my.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Dad, ninety seven percent of the time that movie will
never be added. I don't care how many times Brooke
has endorsed it and given in a ten movie. Actually
just sent me a movie about crying, and I was like,
that looks sad.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Like I'm sending out that new Disney Plus film. No
its because you recommend movies. They were like, why haven't
watched it in twenty years?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It was good? When what?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Let me know?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I'm totally gonna add that to my list. It's a
sad one jet.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Number four, most common lie that we tell I'm going
to bed early so I can wake up early. My god,
every freaking night.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Dude, it is impossible.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Number three, Yes, I have read and accepted the terms
in conditions.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Stop Thanksgiving Turkey. I don't think anyone has ever other
than the.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Lawyer wrote it. Weird sound.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, it's from the movie Liar, liar, So cut on
that one. Number two, so you're moving, I'd love to
come visit.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
My buddy Nick would Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I visit him.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yeah, well, but you're not actually gonna go.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The number one lie we hear from people or we
say it ourselves, is but doesn't register.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh we should totally catch up soon.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Is always there you know, that's what we fit about
the most man. As for this guy, after a night
of leather passion, he just told this shoe he's gonna
call it.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Tomorrow's gonna call you. That sound means laser schories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
same time on Wednesday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning
It's the radio segment that's teamed up with Lil John
to create a new bottled water called turned Down for Whatcher?
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Why not Jo? I was supposed to make it twelve
years ago, but I say it's very old. I couldn't
hold it in any longer.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
It's Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news
stories around the globe, just like everyone else does, except
we've got a laser. Those are the salt shakers. Just
dump this first Laser Stories out of America.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hurrah, you say you? No one else I'll get We'll
wait to hear the story first.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Daniel Swinson, a Minnesota lawyer, says he was watching TV
with his family after dinner when he heard a noise
coming from the other room. But before he could get up,
his rumba came around the corner, chasing the pet cat
while yelling multiple racial slurs.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
That's awful. I'm laughing for that. That's hilariously awful.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
The crazy thing about this story is it's not unusual.
Owners in multiple cities are complaining about their rumbas getting
hacked by strangers who, once they get in, quickly change
the password and do horrible stuff. It happened to a
homeowner in California where the roomba began chasing his dog,
(01:27):
and another person in El Paso, Texas, who reported the
rumba was cursing at them in multiple languages.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Like a bilingual room.
Speaker 1 (01:37):
Apparently the parent company, called Ecovas, is extremely susceptible to hacking,
but they have come out and said an update patch
is coming in November, just in time for the holidays,
and after all of us already get hacked. Yeah, this
next laser stories out of retail world. Bath and Bodyworks
(01:58):
just had to issue a public apology saying we are
very sorry about our KKK looking.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Candles us three k's there job.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I sure did a I'm gonna show my host the
pictures of it. The store released their holiday candle assortment
recently and it came with a questionable one called snowed
In and the scent of it was fine, but the
label on the jar was not because it's supposed to
be a tiny picture of a paper cutout of a snowflake,
(02:29):
which I do see. You can see the snowflake, but
you can see the white hoods.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah. Fortunately nobody caught it.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
It came out looking more like white hoods with cutouts
for eyes.
Speaker 2 (02:43):
Because they're all connected.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Because while many people online were taken aback by the mistake,
others said it's obviously a snowflake and people are just
trying to get upset for no reason.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
It's probably not gonna be something I would put on
my shelf of my house, but you will buy it.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Understand the mistake, but yeah, it's pretty glary either way.
They removed it from all of their stores and said
we greatly apologize to anyone we've offended and are swiftly
working to have this item removed. Okay, yeah, but go
get yours at Brooks House in the basement in the
shape of a pentagram today that's discussing this.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Next Lazer story is out of Jonesboro, Arkansas. Story.
Speaker 1 (03:26):
Yeah, yeah, we're not in a great spot for it.
Sixty eight year old Larry Barnett owns a car dealership
called Legend Motor Company.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Oh thank god, it's going to be something bad.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
Last week, he but dialed a former employee just as
he was in mid conversation about.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
Him, STUPI is a stupid Does we still calling nowadays?
My parents all the time? My mom does me and
my husband.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
What I really and literally, every time a husband puts
it in his pocket, it calls me weird.
Speaker 2 (03:59):
I haven't heard an talking yet, but I'm.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
Waiting cracking device you put on his phone. Now I
know what you're thinking. He wasn't caught putting the guy
down or making fun of him. Oh okay, It was
actually much worse. He was attempting to hire a hit
man to kill the guy.
Speaker 2 (04:20):
He just fire the guy? What kind of what all?
Speaker 1 (04:25):
It's not clear why Larry hated his ex employee so
much that he wanted him dead, but as the guy
listened on the other line, he heard Larry tell the
hit man where he lived. Then he heard quote, I
don't care if you have to burn his house to
the ground with him in it.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't care what you have to do. Make it
look like an accident.
Speaker 1 (04:43):
Why when you're hiring a hit man, does everybody say
that No crap, I'm gonna make it look.
Speaker 2 (04:47):
Like he's still yelling on the phone like I do. Hello, Hello. Yeah.
So the guy called the cops.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
They came to his house, found his gas stove had
been tampered with already, and Larry was arrested for conspiracy
to commit murder already crazy, all because of the luck
of a butt dial.
Speaker 2 (05:07):
Yeah, we should be thankful. Yeah, this next laser story
is out of truth town. I thought we were just there, Jeff.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
There's some lies that are so common that they don't
even register when you hear them anymore. So a reason
survey ask people for the most common ones they either
tell themselves or they hear all the time. Number seven,
I'm only five minutes away.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
Did if my best friend texts me that I know
that she hasn't even showered yet. It's not five minutes.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It's more like fifteen or twenty or probably forty five
an hour an hour.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Number six, I don't care what other people think.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Oh, researchers say, you absolutely do.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
I don't want to.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Almost everyone does to some extent, and if you don't,
you're some sort of psychopath.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
It's to the extent, and it's who do you care?
Speaker 1 (05:55):
You know?
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Yeah? Number five.
Speaker 1 (05:57):
When I recommend a movie and the person says, oh,
I'll add that to my list, Oh yeah, I'm not. No,
I don't.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Well, I do. When you guys suggest videos for me
to watch with my.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
Dad, ninety seven percent of the time that movie will
never be added. I don't care how many times Brooke
has endorsed it and given in a ten movie. Actually
just sent me a movie about crying, and I was like,
that looks sad.
Speaker 2 (06:20):
Like I'm sending out that new Disney Plus film. No
its because you recommend movies. They were like, why haven't
watched it in twenty years?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (06:25):
It was good? When what?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Let me know?
Speaker 2 (06:30):
I'm totally gonna add that to my list. It's a
sad one jet.
Speaker 1 (06:33):
Number four, most common lie that we tell I'm going
to bed early so I can wake up early. My god,
every freaking night.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Dude, it is impossible.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Number three, Yes, I have read and accepted the terms
in conditions.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Stop Thanksgiving Turkey. I don't think anyone has ever other
than the.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
Lawyer wrote it. Weird sound.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
Yeah, it's from the movie Liar, liar, So cut on
that one. Number two, so you're moving, I'd love to
come visit.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
No, you wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
My buddy Nick would Hawaii.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I visit him.
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Yeah, well, but you're not actually gonna go.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
The number one lie we hear from people or we
say it ourselves, is but doesn't register.
Speaker 2 (07:25):
Oh we should totally catch up soon.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
Is always there you know, that's what we fit about
the most man. As for this guy, after a night
of leather passion, he just told this shoe he's gonna
call it.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Tomorrow's gonna call you. That sound means laser schories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
same time on Wednesday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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