December 5, 2025 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's partnered with General Electric to
create dog strength hearing aids for humans.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
WHOA, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So now you too can hear the sound of a
squirrel climbing a tree four blocks away.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wait, why do I want to bark? Jeff? What do
I want to bark?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's all thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we
read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone
else does, except we've got a laser as other Tonight
Is takers just don't. This first laser story is out
of the great state of Florida.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Heay, We've just had so many lately from Florida.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Florida's really are MVP? Hey? A thirty eight year old
man named Ricky Puddlefry was being investigated by the cops.
He knew that and had been in trouble with the
law for some time, so when police paid him a visit,
they were still a little surprised to see Ricky had
a novelty doormat that said come back with a warrant day.
(00:57):
Oh my god, if you say it in a doormat real,
here's a photo so my host can see it.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Oh my god, where did you buy this from It's
like it looks like a little cute Etsy find.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah. Yeah, deputies didn't even knock on the door. They left,
and an hour later came back with an actual warrant.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
All right, they listened.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
They say Ricky had been posing as a real estate investor,
creating fake documents that made it look like he owned
a bunch of properties. He then used him as collateral
to take out big loans to buy other houses, and
then he'd rent those places out, pocket the money and
never pay back the loans.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
That's a scam.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, he is a smart guy. Not that smart, so
Copp said, their financial crimes unit interviewed him and established
enough probable cause to quote execute a search warrant, thereby
satisfying the doormat's request. Wow, okay, So Ricky is now
facing forgery and grand theft charges.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I bet he's not going to put a comeback soon, doormat.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
No. In fact, when interviewed by a local newspaper, he
said he's kicking himself for not buying a doormat that
said just go away. Yeah, do not arrest me. The
cops have to listen to what the doormats said. This
next lazer story is out of Richmond, Virginia. Animal control
officers were called to a nearby shop early in the
morning yesterday. The reason why, according to the police report,
(02:21):
a male raccoon had broken into the liquor store, got
super hammered, and passed out in the bathroom. Yeah, it's
not clear how he got in. Then employee just found
him sprawled down on the bathroom floor the next morning,
still completely unconscious, with two bottles of hooch opened nearby.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh yeah, little pause, are all sprayed out? Isn't this
the second drunk raccoon story we've done this year? Remember
we did the one that was in a in a
dumpster and got drunk.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Want to get drunk with a raccoon?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
No, i'd maybe raccoons have a problem. Yeah, maybe we
need to start a little organization.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
The problem is not enough raccoons. We need to make
this a party.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, it is sad partying by yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, it's kind of lonely being a raccoon. Though. He
also knocked over a bunch of other bottles off the shelves.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Being a raccoon or a drunk raccoon both.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Some of them ended up breaking and then he started
licking the booze up off the floor. We've been there, buddy,
here before. We've all been there, and he eventually just
overserved himself.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It's hard, but he was even there to hold his
little raccoon hair. He's alone in the bathroom. Happen to
your raccoon? No, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's hard to tell from the photo, but animal control
described him as very intoxicated and they had trouble getting
him to stand the next day. You don't.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
See I picture was a loving raccoon.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Do they make the drunk raccoons try to walk in
a straight line.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
To touch your little nose in?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
The officials let him sleep it off in an animal shelter,
then released him back into the wild.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh man, he's gonna have some story.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Imagine the hangover goes back in the woods.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
All the berger chup, but he's like, be quiet.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yea. Officers say they don't know if he has a
drinking problem or not. But good news is at least
he didn't try to drive.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That's right and good responsible raccoon.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Tiny victory. This next Lazer story is out of Sin City.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Fine.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's hard to believe, but the original Wizard of Oz
was a total flop when it first opened in theaters
in nineteen thirty nine.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It is nuts because it's the first color movie.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, it should be like everybody was.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
In wing for it.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
No, it lost one point one million dollars during its
initial run.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Probably maybe the color costs too much. Yeah, I mean,
the tickets are only like a nickel. Right, how many
people do you have to have in the movie theater
to make up a million dollars?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Good points? Flash forward to this year and the movie
is now making two million dollars a day. A spear
in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I have seen this and I want to go. In
that scene they actually throw like foam apples at me.
When you're the tree is throwing the apples at Dory.
They're throwing real apples into whatever. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
But they're able to break two million dollars a day
because people are paying between one hundred and nineteen bucks
for Nosebleeds and three hundred and seventy seven dollars for
the front section, all to see a movie that's almost
ninety years old. I agree the spirit.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
You don't doesn't matter. Good for you, Judy Garland.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, I mean, and to be fair, we are talking
like a totally immersive four D experience with multisensory effects
including shaking seats, high velocity winds, atmospheric fog, fire effects,
swirling leaves, floating butterflies, and even falling apples and flying
monkey picks.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It is. That's a cheap ticket for anything at the Sphere.
That's why you're like, well, I can't afford to go
to the one thousand dollars concert, so I might as
well go to the one hundred dollars nineteen twenties movie Man.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
That Drunk Raccoon. If he had made it in, he
would have been mind blowing. Yeah. You may have heard
that Vegas is not doing very well with tourism, and
that might be true in general, But the Wizard of
Oz at the Sphere totally killing its destination.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You do you Oz?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah, let's go to your final laser story out of
text time with Tony Boring. Give it a chance.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
There's a new career opportunity if you're a proud PERV
because the federal government is now paying people to watch
adult content. Yeah maybe you're kidding, right, not kidding.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
It can't fund parks or children.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is this is important work Brook, because the IRS
is auditing people's Only Fans accounts to make sure they're compliant.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Models. So they're doing it for business.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
It means some agents are going to be paid to
watch graphic scenes at work. O my god. And this
is all because of the new no tax on tips
law that Congress passed this summer, because there's a carve
out in it that says you still have to pay
taxes on tips earned from graphic adult activity and the
limit itself is only twenty ks.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, they put that in there just so that they
can set up a job for themselves, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Huh. Well, And to be fair, not everything on OnlyFans
is adult content. Influencers and a lot of bless celebrities
have accounts. So if you know of someone who's out
of work with a lot of spare time on their
hands and they can correctly identify what graphic adult content is,
then you might have a bright future in the Irso, oh,
(07:56):
this guy says like he's interested. Is he raising his
hand to participate? It's hard to tell.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
That's not his hand.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
He's definitely raising something. Yeah, he's excited. That's how means
Laser stories has come to an end for the day.
We'll do it again, same time on Monday
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
It's the radio segment that's partnered with General Electric to
create dog strength hearing aids for humans.
Speaker 2 (00:12):
WHOA, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
So now you too can hear the sound of a
squirrel climbing a tree four blocks away.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Wait, why do I want to bark? Jeff? What do
I want to bark?
Speaker 1 (00:20):
It's all thanks to Laser Stories, the segment where we
read weird news stories around the globe, just like everyone
else does, except we've got a laser as other Tonight
Is takers just don't. This first laser story is out
of the great state of Florida.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
Heay, We've just had so many lately from Florida.
Speaker 1 (00:37):
Florida's really are MVP? Hey? A thirty eight year old
man named Ricky Puddlefry was being investigated by the cops.
He knew that and had been in trouble with the
law for some time, so when police paid him a visit,
they were still a little surprised to see Ricky had
a novelty doormat that said come back with a warrant day.
(00:57):
Oh my god, if you say it in a doormat real,
here's a photo so my host can see it.
Speaker 2 (01:02):
Oh my god, where did you buy this from It's
like it looks like a little cute Etsy find.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Yeah. Yeah, deputies didn't even knock on the door. They left,
and an hour later came back with an actual warrant.
Speaker 2 (01:16):
All right, they listened.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
They say Ricky had been posing as a real estate investor,
creating fake documents that made it look like he owned
a bunch of properties. He then used him as collateral
to take out big loans to buy other houses, and
then he'd rent those places out, pocket the money and
never pay back the loans.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
That's a scam.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Yeah, he is a smart guy. Not that smart, so
Copp said, their financial crimes unit interviewed him and established
enough probable cause to quote execute a search warrant, thereby
satisfying the doormat's request. Wow, okay, So Ricky is now
facing forgery and grand theft charges.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
I bet he's not going to put a comeback soon, doormat.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
No. In fact, when interviewed by a local newspaper, he
said he's kicking himself for not buying a doormat that
said just go away. Yeah, do not arrest me. The
cops have to listen to what the doormats said. This
next lazer story is out of Richmond, Virginia. Animal control
officers were called to a nearby shop early in the
morning yesterday. The reason why, according to the police report,
(02:21):
a male raccoon had broken into the liquor store, got
super hammered, and passed out in the bathroom. Yeah, it's
not clear how he got in. Then employee just found
him sprawled down on the bathroom floor the next morning,
still completely unconscious, with two bottles of hooch opened nearby.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Oh yeah, little pause, are all sprayed out? Isn't this
the second drunk raccoon story we've done this year? Remember
we did the one that was in a in a
dumpster and got drunk.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Want to get drunk with a raccoon?
Speaker 2 (02:56):
No, i'd maybe raccoons have a problem. Yeah, maybe we
need to start a little organization.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
The problem is not enough raccoons. We need to make
this a party.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Yeah, it is sad partying by yourself.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Yeah, it's kind of lonely being a raccoon. Though. He
also knocked over a bunch of other bottles off the shelves.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Being a raccoon or a drunk raccoon both.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Some of them ended up breaking and then he started
licking the booze up off the floor. We've been there, buddy,
here before. We've all been there, and he eventually just
overserved himself.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
It's hard, but he was even there to hold his
little raccoon hair. He's alone in the bathroom. Happen to
your raccoon? No, I wouldn't.
Speaker 1 (03:38):
It's hard to tell from the photo, but animal control
described him as very intoxicated and they had trouble getting
him to stand the next day. You don't.
Speaker 2 (03:49):
See I picture was a loving raccoon.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Do they make the drunk raccoons try to walk in
a straight line.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
To touch your little nose in?
Speaker 1 (03:59):
The officials let him sleep it off in an animal shelter,
then released him back into the wild.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Oh man, he's gonna have some story.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
Imagine the hangover goes back in the woods.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
All the berger chup, but he's like, be quiet.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Yea. Officers say they don't know if he has a
drinking problem or not. But good news is at least
he didn't try to drive.
Speaker 2 (04:18):
That's right and good responsible raccoon.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Tiny victory. This next Lazer story is out of Sin City.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Fine.
Speaker 1 (04:26):
It's hard to believe, but the original Wizard of Oz
was a total flop when it first opened in theaters
in nineteen thirty nine.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
It is nuts because it's the first color movie.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Yeah, it should be like everybody was.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
In wing for it.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
No, it lost one point one million dollars during its
initial run.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Probably maybe the color costs too much. Yeah, I mean,
the tickets are only like a nickel. Right, how many
people do you have to have in the movie theater
to make up a million dollars?
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Good points? Flash forward to this year and the movie
is now making two million dollars a day. A spear
in Las Vegas.
Speaker 2 (05:02):
I have seen this and I want to go. In
that scene they actually throw like foam apples at me.
When you're the tree is throwing the apples at Dory.
They're throwing real apples into whatever. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
But they're able to break two million dollars a day
because people are paying between one hundred and nineteen bucks
for Nosebleeds and three hundred and seventy seven dollars for
the front section, all to see a movie that's almost
ninety years old. I agree the spirit.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
You don't doesn't matter. Good for you, Judy Garland.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
Yeah, I mean, and to be fair, we are talking
like a totally immersive four D experience with multisensory effects
including shaking seats, high velocity winds, atmospheric fog, fire effects,
swirling leaves, floating butterflies, and even falling apples and flying
monkey picks.
Speaker 2 (05:59):
It is. That's a cheap ticket for anything at the Sphere.
That's why you're like, well, I can't afford to go
to the one thousand dollars concert, so I might as
well go to the one hundred dollars nineteen twenties movie Man.
Speaker 1 (06:11):
That Drunk Raccoon. If he had made it in, he
would have been mind blowing. Yeah. You may have heard
that Vegas is not doing very well with tourism, and
that might be true in general, But the Wizard of
Oz at the Sphere totally killing its destination.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
You do you Oz?
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Yeah, let's go to your final laser story out of
text time with Tony Boring. Give it a chance.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, I'm waiting.
Speaker 1 (06:38):
There's a new career opportunity if you're a proud PERV
because the federal government is now paying people to watch
adult content. Yeah maybe you're kidding, right, not kidding.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
It can't fund parks or children.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
This is this is important work Brook, because the IRS
is auditing people's Only Fans accounts to make sure they're compliant.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Models. So they're doing it for business.
Speaker 1 (07:07):
It means some agents are going to be paid to
watch graphic scenes at work. O my god. And this
is all because of the new no tax on tips
law that Congress passed this summer, because there's a carve
out in it that says you still have to pay
taxes on tips earned from graphic adult activity and the
limit itself is only twenty ks.
Speaker 2 (07:28):
Yeah, they put that in there just so that they
can set up a job for themselves, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
Huh. Well, And to be fair, not everything on OnlyFans
is adult content. Influencers and a lot of bless celebrities
have accounts. So if you know of someone who's out
of work with a lot of spare time on their
hands and they can correctly identify what graphic adult content is,
then you might have a bright future in the Irso, oh,
(07:56):
this guy says like he's interested. Is he raising his
hand to participate? It's hard to tell.
Speaker 2 (08:02):
That's not his hand.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
He's definitely raising something. Yeah, he's excited. That's how means
Laser stories has come to an end for the day.
We'll do it again, same time on Monday
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning,
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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