April 28, 2025 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's coming out with a new
product just in time for summer, called she Glow. She
Glows a self tanner made from ground up Cheeto dust,
so you can give your skin that sexy, bright orange
sheen that everybody loves to see. Actually, she glow dangerously, Bronzie.
(00:27):
Get your flaming hot confidence today. With Laser Stories the segment,
I re read weird news stories from around the globe,
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other pale fails just don't. This first laser story
is out of the United Kingdom. Thirty six year old
man named You and Valentine woke up a couple months
ago and realized that his car had been stolen out
(00:50):
of his driveway.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hey, nobody always questioned if I would know it immediately.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, you wouldn't realize your car was missing, Like.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, I would be gone, But I'd be like, did
I leave this something? Get a friend, bar what you mean?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You like admitted to yourself and call the police.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yea glass on the ground, Oh smart.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
It was a black Honda Civic and he was gutted
because he really really liked that car. Oh man, so
he reported it and did all the insurance paperwork, but sadly,
it was never found. So he went to buy a
similar replacement and found one over at a used car
dealership about an hour away for twenty six thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
It wasn't nice. That's a nice civic.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah. Well that's when things started to feel really strange
because when he drove off with it, he noticed there
was stuff inside, like a piece from a tent that
looked exactly like his tent. Oh no no, also some
candy wrapper bars that were the exact same candy that
he liked. And this would be like Brooks, you know
(01:54):
exactly how many candies. Even the GPS already had his
home act. And that's when Ewan realized he just bought
his own car. I'm sorry he paid for the car
that had trash still.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
In it, but it was his trash. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
He told the local reporter that he nearly crashed because
he was in such shock and that his hands were shaking.
So Ewan took it to a dealership and they confirmed
that it was indeed his vehicle.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
The police couldn't believe it either. It sounds like the
thieves did all the cloning work to change it. They
change in and then after that they sold it to
the used car place, which also got duped. Oh no,
as far as we know, there haven't been any arrests
and you and is still in the process of trying
to get his money back.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh he didn't do that.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I'm going to pay fifty grand for He told the
news that he doesn't feel triumphant, more like he did
something a bit stupid.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah. Yeah, I would have done the same. I probably
would have just never noticed.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, he's like, wow, it feels great. It's already got
my home address, half a candy bar and the cup
holder fun. This next Lazer story is out of Texas.
Thirty three year old Teresa Isabelle Bernal volunteered to help
out at her child's fifth grade school party. She was
in charge of the food, so she brought little containers
(03:29):
of jello in paper cupsfect.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And you wanted to be easy to deal with.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And everything was good until twenty minutes into the celebration,
when two teachers tried the jello and realized there might
be alcohol in it. Jello shot what wait for kids?
They weren't positive because the red, blue, and green jello
was covered in whipped cream, so they called in a
few more teachers to give him a taste. Let's get
(04:00):
the beer bong.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Got to try five. You really know, the announcement goes
out over the shots.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
We're pretty sure the blue ones after dowbning Moore, they
decided to throw the West away just as a precautions.
Giving they threw the rest away as a precaution, but
the damage had already been done. Nearly kids eat up.
All of the kids reported stomach aches and headaches, and
(04:31):
one boy threw up twice that day. Another kid passed
out on the floor after consuming six of the trees.
I feel bad for the guy who was like, hey,
you kids are lightweight.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I don't feel anything, I know, but the teacher is
also kind of glad that that kid's quiet eats that
kid that eats that mini. It's the obnoxious one. To
be fair, it was either gonna be sugar or out.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yet that kid did outlast Alexis when it came to
drinking yellows shots, So I don't even think I could
have that man's Hey. So that's when the principal got
police involved. Yeah, Teresa swear she had no idea that
they contained alcohol, and that she purchased them from a
sweet shop run out of a private home. Oh yeah, yeah,
nothing suspicious about that.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
It was in a trailer park. Nobody should be worried.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
But when they questioned the owner of the sweet shop,
she was able to show them the text thread with
Teresa that proved she wanted to make sure vodka was
in all of these jello shops.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Who that's not how you be the cool mom, Teresa.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
So yeah, she got arrested, yeah, and is now awaiting trial.
As for the teachers, they reached out to that sweet
shop owner for the recipe, but of course just for
the teachers.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Laud.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, this next laser story is out of Social Central.
YouTube just turned twenty years old the other day. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Crazy, So it's hard to imagine the world without it.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, that's that's how long it's been since the very
first video was uploaded onto the site. That's why, in
recognition of this milestone, let's take a quick look at
the top most viewed music videos on YouTube right now.
That's number six. Uptown Funk with Mark Ronson featuring Bruno.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Mars Oh, such a good song.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Came out twenty fourteen, has five and a half billion
views just doesn't get old, it, does it. Number five
Gognum Style.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Five.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
That number five size twenty twelve hit keeps rising currently
at five point six billion views.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I feel like we need some Gognam style energy in
this world right now.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Ye. Number four, Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, That
twenty seventeen song has six point five billion views?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Are these all like mid tempo song?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Bill? Not all of them? Number three is See You
Again Whiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Poof.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, that's a.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Really good one. Oh no, put your right.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To sleep to hold anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
We Miss You, that came out a decade ago in
twenty fifteen, has six point six billion. Number two No
Surprise Desposito Mosito. Yeah, Louis Fonsie featuring Daddy Yankee that
has eight point seven billion views. I can't even fathom.
What's Number one? Does anybody knows? It's like my idiot,
the number one. I'm not even gonna play it so
(07:20):
that people would hate me because of it. It's baby Shark,
It's fifteen BILLI.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Count is a music unt.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I shouldn't even count dancings in it.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
There was a kid on my flight two weeks ago
that was playing out loud from their iPad. And I've
never wanted to violence before, but violence.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I never want to violence.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But I might have to buy that shut up.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
But oh my god, it's crazy because Baby Shark has
almost double the amount of views as Desposito won right
before it. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, it's because all the baby because all these kids.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, exactly, I know what you're all thinking. What's this
guy's number on you?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, that's where we found.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Though really he just hit triple digits, just like his
sandal counts. And that sound means Laser Stories has come
to an end of the day. We're gonna do it
the same time
Speaker 2 (08:13):
On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning
It's the radio segment that's coming out with a new
product just in time for summer, called she Glow. She
Glows a self tanner made from ground up Cheeto dust,
so you can give your skin that sexy, bright orange
sheen that everybody loves to see. Actually, she glow dangerously, Bronzie.
(00:27):
Get your flaming hot confidence today. With Laser Stories the segment,
I re read weird news stories from around the globe,
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other pale fails just don't. This first laser story
is out of the United Kingdom. Thirty six year old
man named You and Valentine woke up a couple months
ago and realized that his car had been stolen out
(00:50):
of his driveway.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Hey, nobody always questioned if I would know it immediately.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
Yeah, you wouldn't realize your car was missing, Like.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
No, I would be gone, But I'd be like, did
I leave this something? Get a friend, bar what you mean?
Speaker 1 (01:03):
You like admitted to yourself and call the police.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Yea glass on the ground, Oh smart.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
It was a black Honda Civic and he was gutted
because he really really liked that car. Oh man, so
he reported it and did all the insurance paperwork, but sadly,
it was never found. So he went to buy a
similar replacement and found one over at a used car
dealership about an hour away for twenty six thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
It wasn't nice. That's a nice civic.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Yeah. Well that's when things started to feel really strange
because when he drove off with it, he noticed there
was stuff inside, like a piece from a tent that
looked exactly like his tent. Oh no no, also some
candy wrapper bars that were the exact same candy that
he liked. And this would be like Brooks, you know
(01:54):
exactly how many candies. Even the GPS already had his
home act. And that's when Ewan realized he just bought
his own car. I'm sorry he paid for the car
that had trash still.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
In it, but it was his trash. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
He told the local reporter that he nearly crashed because
he was in such shock and that his hands were shaking.
So Ewan took it to a dealership and they confirmed
that it was indeed his vehicle.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:31):
The police couldn't believe it either. It sounds like the
thieves did all the cloning work to change it. They
change in and then after that they sold it to
the used car place, which also got duped. Oh no,
as far as we know, there haven't been any arrests
and you and is still in the process of trying
to get his money back.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh he didn't do that.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I'm going to pay fifty grand for He told the
news that he doesn't feel triumphant, more like he did
something a bit stupid.
Speaker 2 (03:01):
Yeah. Yeah, I would have done the same. I probably
would have just never noticed.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yeah, he's like, wow, it feels great. It's already got
my home address, half a candy bar and the cup
holder fun. This next Lazer story is out of Texas.
Thirty three year old Teresa Isabelle Bernal volunteered to help
out at her child's fifth grade school party. She was
in charge of the food, so she brought little containers
(03:29):
of jello in paper cupsfect.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
And you wanted to be easy to deal with.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
And everything was good until twenty minutes into the celebration,
when two teachers tried the jello and realized there might
be alcohol in it. Jello shot what wait for kids?
They weren't positive because the red, blue, and green jello
was covered in whipped cream, so they called in a
few more teachers to give him a taste. Let's get
(04:00):
the beer bong.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Got to try five. You really know, the announcement goes
out over the shots.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
We're pretty sure the blue ones after dowbning Moore, they
decided to throw the West away just as a precautions.
Giving they threw the rest away as a precaution, but
the damage had already been done. Nearly kids eat up.
All of the kids reported stomach aches and headaches, and
(04:31):
one boy threw up twice that day. Another kid passed
out on the floor after consuming six of the trees.
I feel bad for the guy who was like, hey,
you kids are lightweight.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
I don't feel anything, I know, but the teacher is
also kind of glad that that kid's quiet eats that
kid that eats that mini. It's the obnoxious one. To
be fair, it was either gonna be sugar or out.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
Yet that kid did outlast Alexis when it came to
drinking yellows shots, So I don't even think I could
have that man's Hey. So that's when the principal got
police involved. Yeah, Teresa swear she had no idea that
they contained alcohol, and that she purchased them from a
sweet shop run out of a private home. Oh yeah, yeah,
nothing suspicious about that.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
It was in a trailer park. Nobody should be worried.
Speaker 1 (05:18):
But when they questioned the owner of the sweet shop,
she was able to show them the text thread with
Teresa that proved she wanted to make sure vodka was
in all of these jello shops.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Who that's not how you be the cool mom, Teresa.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
So yeah, she got arrested, yeah, and is now awaiting trial.
As for the teachers, they reached out to that sweet
shop owner for the recipe, but of course just for
the teachers.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
Laud.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
Yeah, this next laser story is out of Social Central.
YouTube just turned twenty years old the other day. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (05:51):
Crazy, So it's hard to imagine the world without it.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah, that's that's how long it's been since the very
first video was uploaded onto the site. That's why, in
recognition of this milestone, let's take a quick look at
the top most viewed music videos on YouTube right now.
That's number six. Uptown Funk with Mark Ronson featuring Bruno.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Mars Oh, such a good song.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
Came out twenty fourteen, has five and a half billion
views just doesn't get old, it, does it. Number five
Gognum Style.
Speaker 2 (06:25):
Five.
Speaker 1 (06:26):
That number five size twenty twelve hit keeps rising currently
at five point six billion views.
Speaker 2 (06:32):
I feel like we need some Gognam style energy in
this world right now.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Ye. Number four, Shape of You by Ed Sheeran, That
twenty seventeen song has six point five billion views?
Speaker 2 (06:43):
Are these all like mid tempo song?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Bill? Not all of them? Number three is See You
Again Whiz Khalifa featuring Charlie Poof.
Speaker 2 (06:52):
Yeah, that's a.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
Really good one. Oh no, put your right.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
To sleep to hold anyone?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
We Miss You, that came out a decade ago in
twenty fifteen, has six point six billion. Number two No
Surprise Desposito Mosito. Yeah, Louis Fonsie featuring Daddy Yankee that
has eight point seven billion views. I can't even fathom.
What's Number one? Does anybody knows? It's like my idiot,
the number one. I'm not even gonna play it so
(07:20):
that people would hate me because of it. It's baby Shark,
It's fifteen BILLI.
Speaker 2 (07:26):
Count is a music unt.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I shouldn't even count dancings in it.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
There was a kid on my flight two weeks ago
that was playing out loud from their iPad. And I've
never wanted to violence before, but violence.
Speaker 1 (07:42):
I never want to violence.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
But I might have to buy that shut up.
Speaker 1 (07:46):
But oh my god, it's crazy because Baby Shark has
almost double the amount of views as Desposito won right
before it. Crazy.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Yeah, it's because all the baby because all these kids.
Speaker 1 (07:56):
Yeah, exactly, I know what you're all thinking. What's this
guy's number on you?
Speaker 2 (08:00):
Yes, that's where we found.
Speaker 1 (08:02):
Though really he just hit triple digits, just like his
sandal counts. And that sound means Laser Stories has come
to an end of the day. We're gonna do it
the same time
Speaker 2 (08:13):
On Wednesday, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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