April 9, 2025 • 7 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that just created the first AI
birthday clown called Chuckles v two point one Dash seven.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Oh sounds fun.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
He is.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
He has plenty of party games for the kids, like
Guess that password and pin the decimal on the algorithm.
Hours of data driven fun with Laser Stories. It's a
segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
(00:35):
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other binary bozos just don't. His first laser story
is out of Fort Washington, Maryland. Scratch that it's out
of Montreal.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Okay, wow, really switched it up on you, Joe.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
A man named Dustin Hamlet is fighting a parking ticket
that his daughter got in front of their home on
April first. Good for you, and it's so bad it
should be in April Fool's Day prank. Early in the morning,
the city installed signage for a brand new bus stop
in front of Dustin's house. Oh god, the sign is
actually on his front lawn and the crew finished up
(01:13):
at about seven to fifty five am.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
So they were there that early too doing the work.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
And then just ten minutes later, parking enforcement came by
gave his daughter a ticket for her car blocking the
bus stop.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Put the bus stop after the car was parked there.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, messed up.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Like I said, her car was there overnight, before the
bus stop even existed, and Dustin says he was given
no advance warning about it, so there's no way he
could have known.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh that's awful.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Miraculously the city agrees with him.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, good, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
But sadly they say, unfortunately, the ticket will not be reversed.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
But we agree with you. We messed up, are bad,
but you still.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Get to pay because according to their rules, once a
ticket is written, there's nothing they can can do.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Hit the paper and it's permanent at that point.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It is the dumbest thing.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, that's the law, Brooke. Oh you hate the law.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I do.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Okay, you go protest.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So Dustin is contesting this madness, but he's annoyed that
he has to spend his time and energy on something
so stupid. We will keep you updated on the story
as it progresses.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
And for you, Dustin, I stand behind you.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Get that part of your ticket.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
This next laser story, this one is out of Fort Washington, Maryland.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
No, who knows what is he gonna say next?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm going to say.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Forty three year old Tanya Comstock was driving on the
freeway and her gas tank was almost on empty.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Yeah, the club man, We've all played that game.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So she pulled off and went to the nearest seven
to eleven to fuel up, and while she was pumping,
she saw the big signs in the window calling out
to her play the lottery. Hardly ever plays, but she
thought why not. She's never been to this gas station,
and so she figured once she was done, she'd go
inside and play a game called the Pick five on.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Isn't that the one you like?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Osea, Yeah, remember I only know it because of you.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Yeah. It's like you don't have to hit six, you
only have to hit five, so you have way higher chances.
Jack ponds are like usually half a million to a few.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Million, right, So the question is what numbers would she use?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
She had no idea and just stood there thinking about it,
thinking like, should I have used my family's birthdays?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Do I have any lucky numbers? Finally, she thought.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Ah, forget it, So she's just going to get back
in her car and drive off.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh that is.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
As soon as she sat down behind the steering wheel
and started up the motor she saw something. What the
last five numbers of her vehicle's odometer.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Oh my god, Oh those numbers I'll use.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
That counts the miles for how far your car is gone.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You explaining, don't count.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Some people don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So she then flung open her car door, immediately sprinted inside,
and tried her luck with the five numbers from her
car and ended up winning one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
The time I pay attention to the odometers when it
accidentally gets all the numbers the same, it's a thousand.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, that's you keep a car for that long?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
You don't.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh god, Tanya was traded in. Yes, to be new.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I didn't know that more than three numbers could happen.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
That's I'm just telling you.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Tanya was quoted as saying she was shook and immediately
called her dad. She plans to use the money to
pay off bills and her car, while also sharing some
with her father in gratitude for his support over the years.
He was the one that taught her gambling is the
way to success.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Now, let's check that money after the taxes.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It's like twenty thousand efforts.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It's not planning too much.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
This next clizer story is out of penmanship, Park, I
think I've.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Ever been here.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, Jeff has great he lives here.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
This past Saturday was National Handmade Day, which celebrates the
effort and dedication to artistry and crafts and just the
special personal touch of creating something by hand.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Yeah, as he was having a field day apparel and.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I could never do this. Well.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
It's hard to imagine anybody not appreciating a handwritten letter,
and yet you're far more likely to get a DM
on social media or a thumbs up emoji text, which
is why a recent poll asked when did you last
write a handwritten personal letter? Of people say they've written
one in the past month, which was the most recent
(05:51):
option to choose from.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Okay, we still get him from my father in law.
He sends one a month to us.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, is it the same one?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
But we don't write him back.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It is like, I swear you guys aren't responding to me.
Are you hearing? Every One is like, yeah, are you
still at this address? We just call them Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Another twenty one percent say they've written one in the
past year, and another twenty six percent say they're pretty
sure they've written one in the past decade.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Maybe, yeah, I feel like it might have been required
for school at something.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah, like I did that.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
My dad wrote me one when I visited recently, and
he literally went to the store at seven in the
morning and he wrote a note that was like, I've
gone through the store and if you wake up seven
thirty five am. I woke up at ten am. Guys.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I was like, I'm gonna be fine.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's not really a letter though.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's like a little sticky note that you put on
the that it does. I don't have jo right in
the heart.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
A letter.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I'm sorry if that isn't crazy enough.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Twenty percent of gen Zers between the ages eighteen and
twenty seven say they have never written a personal letter
in their entire life, and that was also the most
popular answer.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
I had to write my niece is a letter years ago,
and I was like, I don't remember how to do this,
Like it's like talking to yourself and nobody owns envelopes
or stay ups what It's adorable.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Because you know you went out and got it. Write
a note for an X like a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I was writing him for an ex, probably because she
was getting too many handwritten letters from you hostand too
personal scared her away. This guy he doesn't write any
personal letters. No, no, he speaks from a different part.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Of his body. I can't write with that heart.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, he can send this wherever he wants. That sound
means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.
We're gonna do it again, same time on Friday
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
It's the radio segment that just created the first AI
birthday clown called Chuckles v two point one Dash seven.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Oh sounds fun.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
He is.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
He has plenty of party games for the kids, like
Guess that password and pin the decimal on the algorithm.
Hours of data driven fun with Laser Stories. It's a
segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
(00:35):
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other binary bozos just don't. His first laser story
is out of Fort Washington, Maryland. Scratch that it's out
of Montreal.
Speaker 3 (00:47):
Okay, wow, really switched it up on you, Joe.
Speaker 1 (00:52):
A man named Dustin Hamlet is fighting a parking ticket
that his daughter got in front of their home on
April first. Good for you, and it's so bad it
should be in April Fool's Day prank. Early in the morning,
the city installed signage for a brand new bus stop
in front of Dustin's house. Oh god, the sign is
actually on his front lawn and the crew finished up
(01:13):
at about seven to fifty five am.
Speaker 4 (01:15):
So they were there that early too doing the work.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
And then just ten minutes later, parking enforcement came by
gave his daughter a ticket for her car blocking the
bus stop.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
Put the bus stop after the car was parked there.
Speaker 3 (01:31):
Yeah, messed up.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
Like I said, her car was there overnight, before the
bus stop even existed, and Dustin says he was given
no advance warning about it, so there's no way he
could have known.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Oh that's awful.
Speaker 3 (01:42):
Miraculously the city agrees with him.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Yeah, good, okay.
Speaker 1 (01:48):
But sadly they say, unfortunately, the ticket will not be reversed.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
But we agree with you. We messed up, are bad,
but you still.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Get to pay because according to their rules, once a
ticket is written, there's nothing they can can do.
Speaker 3 (02:03):
Hit the paper and it's permanent at that point.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
It is the dumbest thing.
Speaker 3 (02:07):
Yeah, that's the law, Brooke. Oh you hate the law.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
I do.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Okay, you go protest.
Speaker 1 (02:13):
So Dustin is contesting this madness, but he's annoyed that
he has to spend his time and energy on something
so stupid. We will keep you updated on the story
as it progresses.
Speaker 4 (02:24):
And for you, Dustin, I stand behind you.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Get that part of your ticket.
Speaker 1 (02:28):
This next laser story, this one is out of Fort Washington, Maryland.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
No, who knows what is he gonna say next?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm going to say.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Forty three year old Tanya Comstock was driving on the
freeway and her gas tank was almost on empty.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Yeah, the club man, We've all played that game.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
So she pulled off and went to the nearest seven
to eleven to fuel up, and while she was pumping,
she saw the big signs in the window calling out
to her play the lottery. Hardly ever plays, but she
thought why not. She's never been to this gas station,
and so she figured once she was done, she'd go
inside and play a game called the Pick five on.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Isn't that the one you like?
Speaker 4 (03:11):
Osea, Yeah, remember I only know it because of you.
Speaker 5 (03:14):
Yeah. It's like you don't have to hit six, you
only have to hit five, so you have way higher chances.
Jack ponds are like usually half a million to a few.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
Million, right, So the question is what numbers would she use?
Speaker 1 (03:24):
She had no idea and just stood there thinking about it,
thinking like, should I have used my family's birthdays?
Speaker 3 (03:31):
Do I have any lucky numbers? Finally, she thought.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Ah, forget it, So she's just going to get back
in her car and drive off.
Speaker 3 (03:38):
Oh that is.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
As soon as she sat down behind the steering wheel
and started up the motor she saw something. What the
last five numbers of her vehicle's odometer.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Oh my god, Oh those numbers I'll use.
Speaker 3 (03:55):
That counts the miles for how far your car is gone.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
You explaining, don't count.
Speaker 3 (04:00):
Some people don't know.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
So she then flung open her car door, immediately sprinted inside,
and tried her luck with the five numbers from her
car and ended up winning one hundred thousand dollars.
Speaker 4 (04:17):
The time I pay attention to the odometers when it
accidentally gets all the numbers the same, it's a thousand.
Speaker 3 (04:23):
Yeah, that's you keep a car for that long?
Speaker 4 (04:27):
You don't.
Speaker 3 (04:27):
Oh god, Tanya was traded in. Yes, to be new.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
I didn't know that more than three numbers could happen.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
That's I'm just telling you.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Tanya was quoted as saying she was shook and immediately
called her dad. She plans to use the money to
pay off bills and her car, while also sharing some
with her father in gratitude for his support over the years.
He was the one that taught her gambling is the
way to success.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Now, let's check that money after the taxes.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
It's like twenty thousand efforts.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
It's not planning too much.
Speaker 1 (05:04):
This next clizer story is out of penmanship, Park, I
think I've.
Speaker 5 (05:09):
Ever been here.
Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, Jeff has great he lives here.
Speaker 3 (05:13):
It makes sense.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
This past Saturday was National Handmade Day, which celebrates the
effort and dedication to artistry and crafts and just the
special personal touch of creating something by hand.
Speaker 5 (05:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
Yeah, as he was having a field day apparel and.
Speaker 3 (05:29):
I could never do this. Well.
Speaker 1 (05:30):
It's hard to imagine anybody not appreciating a handwritten letter,
and yet you're far more likely to get a DM
on social media or a thumbs up emoji text, which
is why a recent poll asked when did you last
write a handwritten personal letter? Of people say they've written
one in the past month, which was the most recent
(05:51):
option to choose from.
Speaker 4 (05:52):
Okay, we still get him from my father in law.
He sends one a month to us.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yeah, is it the same one?
Speaker 2 (05:58):
But we don't write him back.
Speaker 3 (06:00):
It is like, I swear you guys aren't responding to me.
Are you hearing? Every One is like, yeah, are you
still at this address? We just call them Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
Another twenty one percent say they've written one in the
past year, and another twenty six percent say they're pretty
sure they've written one in the past decade.
Speaker 4 (06:17):
Maybe, yeah, I feel like it might have been required
for school at something.
Speaker 3 (06:20):
Yeah, like I did that.
Speaker 5 (06:21):
My dad wrote me one when I visited recently, and
he literally went to the store at seven in the
morning and he wrote a note that was like, I've
gone through the store and if you wake up seven
thirty five am. I woke up at ten am. Guys.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
I was like, I'm gonna be fine.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
That's not really a letter though.
Speaker 3 (06:37):
That's like a little sticky note that you put on
the that it does. I don't have jo right in
the heart.
Speaker 4 (06:45):
A letter.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
I'm sorry if that isn't crazy enough.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Twenty percent of gen Zers between the ages eighteen and
twenty seven say they have never written a personal letter
in their entire life, and that was also the most
popular answer.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
I had to write my niece is a letter years ago,
and I was like, I don't remember how to do this,
Like it's like talking to yourself and nobody owns envelopes
or stay ups what It's adorable.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
Because you know you went out and got it. Write
a note for an X like a girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
I was writing him for an ex, probably because she
was getting too many handwritten letters from you hostand too
personal scared her away. This guy he doesn't write any
personal letters. No, no, he speaks from a different part.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Of his body. I can't write with that heart.
Speaker 3 (07:33):
Yeah, he can send this wherever he wants. That sound
means Laser Stories has come to an end for the day.
We're gonna do it again, same time on Friday
Speaker 4 (07:42):
Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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