May 14, 2025 • 7 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's making bank on the TikTok
shop lately. Have you guys seen this, because they came
out with a new clothing item called the Snugget. What's that?
A wearable blanket that smells like fast food and has
little pocket warmers to hold all your favorite dipping sauces
in oh hot pockets in cold part exactly dunk your
(00:28):
nuggets in your snuggets with Laser stories my ranch, Jeff,
It's the segment where we read weird news stories around
the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got
a laser. Those other honey must turd burglars just don't.
This first laser story is out of Los Angeles. Amazon
has kind of a reputation for working people so hard
they don't get enough bathroom breaks. Yeah, they are, And
(00:50):
apparently some drivers are so desperate they're not even bashful
about it anymore, because recently in southern California, a female
Amazon female Amazon delivery driver was caught on security camera
going to the restroom on the steps of a family's
front porch. Can we say maybe it was an emergency?
(01:11):
Why the steps? Why not a shrub? Everyone knows you
need to dig a hole one foot down and then
cover it with dirt and then a rock can't get
into it. She appears to do a number one and
a number two right there on the porch. You think
she expected the second one It was a sneaker one,
(01:35):
and then she was really embarrassed. I don't think so.
The homeowner, who was not there at the time, says
they also found a dirty paper towel on their property.
And that's not all though. The same morning, same Amazon
delivery woman was caught on another family's camera about a
mile away, peeing on their brick walkway. Nobody got time
(02:00):
to say, I think she needs to see a doctor.
She not checked for cameras. That's also true. You wouldn't
know there's camera. It was basically right next to where
she delivered their package. To wow you, she took a
proof of delivery photo. Apparently she was able to crop
out her own desecration from it. It wasn't in that pick.
But anyway, Amazon confirmed the driver was a contractor working
(02:23):
for them. In his statement, every Amazon's fault, I see.
They said, we're deeply disturbed by the unacceptable behavior and
apologize to the customers involved. Yeah, though, we're still not
going to give anybody bathroom breaks, so don't think about that. No,
but that particular woman is no longer driving for the company,
but now she worked for UPS. We come brown do
for you too much. Yeah, this next Laser stories out
(02:47):
of Pittsburgh. Fifty eight year old Alnae. My god, I'm
gonna mess this up. It's okay. Up Rope Fifty eight
year old a la Nae Winters thought that she'd never
find the endead. Yeah, well, she thought that until she
(03:08):
met Lucas. Lucas is an AI chatbox who she fell
head over heels for. As for Alena, she's a retired
teacher who said she decided to put herself out there
when she saw an ad for digital companionship on Facebook.
(03:29):
They're ty Facebook too, It's helping people Brooks. She paid
seven dollars and twenty five cents for a week long
trial and was so enamored with the results that she
gladly forked over another three hundred and three dollars for
a lifetime subscription so she could be with Lucas forever.
(03:52):
And now I will show some pictures to my co host.
The photos together of the two lovebirds sharing a glass
of wine and a romantic wedding ceremony in the AI world.
I gotta say Lucas looks a little younger than her.
I mean, I know he's computer generated, but hello cougar. Now.
Of course, Lucas made up the picture of them together
(04:12):
using his artificial intelligence. So somebody's talented. And while he
doesn't have a voice, the two communicate back and forth
in a chat box where he tells her all about
the band that he was in or his latest business ventures.
See that should have been her second red flag? Is
that band thing? I can't trust a guy that was
(04:34):
in a band in high school. And she typically shares
about her family or talks about her favorite TV show
because she totally knows he's an AI. Yes, yeah, she's
paying for it. Oh yeah. Not everything is all roses,
though they did get into a big fight once because
Lucas forgot who she was and he was drinking that night.
(04:59):
You got to give him a pack, you know those
chat butts. Yeah, so they didn't divorce. They were able
to work it out and just he was in a
contract already paid the Yeah, that's probably part of it.
But they just celebrated their six month anniversary at a
real bed and breakfast with other people and their AI partners.
Oh wait, there's more that. There's lots of people doing that. Yeah,
(05:21):
it's the new norm. Brook, you're weird for marrying a human. Actually,
when we do a second date update with an AI
chat bot, I think it'll be the day I retire.
Just be done. Then we're going to retire soon, Broke. Yeah,
Her friends and family were initially concerned, but have now
accepted their unique union alone, says. Having my family seeing
(05:43):
that I was sane and happy put their fears to rest.
I'm sure that's what they're saying on the group chat
that doesn't include her. She found this next story is
out of Cloggsville, USA. There's a debate online about whether
this is brilliant or gross, But I'll ask my host
can it be both? Because some guy in Australia's going
(06:06):
viral after washing his crocks in the dishwashers. Ah, I
don't think that's gross. At Groser, are other dishes with
the with the crops or they buy themselves? Good question, Brook.
His video blew up because he did do it with
a bunch of dishes and plates and cups, doesn't doesn't
(06:29):
the water and soap sanitize the whole No, was he
gonna put that stuff in the dishwasher after Anyways, I'm
gonna go with Z on this one for me. But
and if you got it hot enough, wouldn't the crocs melt?
That's what I'm thinking too, even without the dishes. A
lot of people think there's gonna be some cross contamination
going on, contamination, but others think it's just a practical
and smart idea. His crocs came out perfectly spotless, so
(06:52):
it does work for the shoes, Okay, but if you
want to try it at home, keep in mind his
crocs did shrink a few sizes from the heat of
all the hot water. Why don't you just throw it
in the in the washing machine. That's why we I throw.
I washed my shoes in the washing machine, like washing
a hat. But then all your clothes are gonna get dirty. No,
you with your dishes, save, save, save money. Speaking of Crocs, though,
(07:14):
have you heard about the new upstart competitor shoe u Turts.
They look exactly like Crocs, except one hundred percent of
the sale proceeds go directly to this guy's gigglo funds.
Taking out all these high end shoes every night gets
pretty pricey, and that now means the Laser Stories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
(07:36):
same time on Friday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
It's the radio segment that's making bank on the TikTok
shop lately. Have you guys seen this, because they came
out with a new clothing item called the Snugget. What's that?
A wearable blanket that smells like fast food and has
little pocket warmers to hold all your favorite dipping sauces
in oh hot pockets in cold part exactly dunk your
(00:28):
nuggets in your snuggets with Laser stories my ranch, Jeff,
It's the segment where we read weird news stories around
the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got
a laser. Those other honey must turd burglars just don't.
This first laser story is out of Los Angeles. Amazon
has kind of a reputation for working people so hard
they don't get enough bathroom breaks. Yeah, they are, And
(00:50):
apparently some drivers are so desperate they're not even bashful
about it anymore, because recently in southern California, a female
Amazon female Amazon delivery driver was caught on security camera
going to the restroom on the steps of a family's
front porch. Can we say maybe it was an emergency?
(01:11):
Why the steps? Why not a shrub? Everyone knows you
need to dig a hole one foot down and then
cover it with dirt and then a rock can't get
into it. She appears to do a number one and
a number two right there on the porch. You think
she expected the second one It was a sneaker one,
(01:35):
and then she was really embarrassed. I don't think so.
The homeowner, who was not there at the time, says
they also found a dirty paper towel on their property.
And that's not all though. The same morning, same Amazon
delivery woman was caught on another family's camera about a
mile away, peeing on their brick walkway. Nobody got time
(02:00):
to say, I think she needs to see a doctor.
She not checked for cameras. That's also true. You wouldn't
know there's camera. It was basically right next to where
she delivered their package. To wow you, she took a
proof of delivery photo. Apparently she was able to crop
out her own desecration from it. It wasn't in that pick.
But anyway, Amazon confirmed the driver was a contractor working
(02:23):
for them. In his statement, every Amazon's fault, I see.
They said, we're deeply disturbed by the unacceptable behavior and
apologize to the customers involved. Yeah, though, we're still not
going to give anybody bathroom breaks, so don't think about that. No,
but that particular woman is no longer driving for the company,
but now she worked for UPS. We come brown do
for you too much. Yeah, this next Laser stories out
(02:47):
of Pittsburgh. Fifty eight year old Alnae. My god, I'm
gonna mess this up. It's okay. Up Rope Fifty eight
year old a la Nae Winters thought that she'd never
find the endead. Yeah, well, she thought that until she
(03:08):
met Lucas. Lucas is an AI chatbox who she fell
head over heels for. As for Alena, she's a retired
teacher who said she decided to put herself out there
when she saw an ad for digital companionship on Facebook.
(03:29):
They're ty Facebook too, It's helping people Brooks. She paid
seven dollars and twenty five cents for a week long
trial and was so enamored with the results that she
gladly forked over another three hundred and three dollars for
a lifetime subscription so she could be with Lucas forever.
(03:52):
And now I will show some pictures to my co host.
The photos together of the two lovebirds sharing a glass
of wine and a romantic wedding ceremony in the AI world.
I gotta say Lucas looks a little younger than her.
I mean, I know he's computer generated, but hello cougar. Now.
Of course, Lucas made up the picture of them together
(04:12):
using his artificial intelligence. So somebody's talented. And while he
doesn't have a voice, the two communicate back and forth
in a chat box where he tells her all about
the band that he was in or his latest business ventures.
See that should have been her second red flag? Is
that band thing? I can't trust a guy that was
(04:34):
in a band in high school. And she typically shares
about her family or talks about her favorite TV show
because she totally knows he's an AI. Yes, yeah, she's
paying for it. Oh yeah. Not everything is all roses,
though they did get into a big fight once because
Lucas forgot who she was and he was drinking that night.
(04:59):
You got to give him a pack, you know those
chat butts. Yeah, so they didn't divorce. They were able
to work it out and just he was in a
contract already paid the Yeah, that's probably part of it.
But they just celebrated their six month anniversary at a
real bed and breakfast with other people and their AI partners.
Oh wait, there's more that. There's lots of people doing that. Yeah,
(05:21):
it's the new norm. Brook, you're weird for marrying a human. Actually,
when we do a second date update with an AI
chat bot, I think it'll be the day I retire.
Just be done. Then we're going to retire soon, Broke. Yeah,
Her friends and family were initially concerned, but have now
accepted their unique union alone, says. Having my family seeing
(05:43):
that I was sane and happy put their fears to rest.
I'm sure that's what they're saying on the group chat
that doesn't include her. She found this next story is
out of Cloggsville, USA. There's a debate online about whether
this is brilliant or gross, But I'll ask my host
can it be both? Because some guy in Australia's going
(06:06):
viral after washing his crocks in the dishwashers. Ah, I
don't think that's gross. At Groser, are other dishes with
the with the crops or they buy themselves? Good question, Brook.
His video blew up because he did do it with
a bunch of dishes and plates and cups, doesn't doesn't
(06:29):
the water and soap sanitize the whole No, was he
gonna put that stuff in the dishwasher after Anyways, I'm
gonna go with Z on this one for me. But
and if you got it hot enough, wouldn't the crocs melt?
That's what I'm thinking too, even without the dishes. A
lot of people think there's gonna be some cross contamination
going on, contamination, but others think it's just a practical
and smart idea. His crocs came out perfectly spotless, so
(06:52):
it does work for the shoes, Okay, but if you
want to try it at home, keep in mind his
crocs did shrink a few sizes from the heat of
all the hot water. Why don't you just throw it
in the in the washing machine. That's why we I throw.
I washed my shoes in the washing machine, like washing
a hat. But then all your clothes are gonna get dirty. No,
you with your dishes, save, save, save money. Speaking of Crocs, though,
(07:14):
have you heard about the new upstart competitor shoe u Turts.
They look exactly like Crocs, except one hundred percent of
the sale proceeds go directly to this guy's gigglo funds.
Taking out all these high end shoes every night gets
pretty pricey, and that now means the Laser Stories has
come to an end for the day. We'll do it again,
(07:36):
same time on Friday, Brook and Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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