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June 11, 2025 8 mins

Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's getting your hair clean with
a meaty summer vibe, introducing Shampoobacue sauce. Get your soft,
silky hair with a smoky mesquite shine dry. Yeah, it
also comes in Coconut curl and Carolina Reaper thanks to
Laser Stories.

Speaker 2 (00:27):
The segment where we read weird news stories around the.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
Globe, just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Those other charcoal catour kids just don't.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
First Laser stories out of the Splashy Spring Symposium. The
New York Times recently did a big feature on how
rich people are moving on from fine wine and now
getting in on fine waters. A writer for The Times
recently went to a fine water competition where six judges

(01:00):
or Water Somalia's Stop It Blind Taste tested one hundred
and seven different types of mineral water from all over
the world.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
I really have.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Become a water snob, like heavy on first than Fiji.

Speaker 3 (01:13):
See I'm tap I like, I think it's more interested
in this if it was tapped from different parts in
the country.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
You know what I mean? Yeah, I would have assumed
brook was gutter.

Speaker 1 (01:23):
So you know what, that's a big step up for
you like why they say each type of fine water
has a distinct taste depending on where it comes from
in the mix of minerals it has. Some of them
now go for hundreds of dollars per bottle. So if
you have an old Fiji, preferably the year twenty fifteen,
stuck in the back of your garage fridge, you could

(01:45):
be rich.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Aging in a plastic bottle that's seeping plastic into it.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Well, why does a twenty year oldsauni sound awful?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:54):
No, I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Most of these waters, I'm sure you've never been heard
of before, including the winner this year that consisted of
melted snow which had been filtered through Peruvian volcanic rock.

Speaker 2 (02:05):
Yeah, it's not.

Speaker 3 (02:07):
North American volcanic rock.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Really gross.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
The judges also taste tested one made of mist gathered
from a pine forest in Tasmania, but sadly they came
in fourteenth right behind a bottle of disani that was
purchased at a Newark airport.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
See there we go.

Speaker 3 (02:25):
It's stories like this that make it so hard to
like rich people.

Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yea, I know.

Speaker 1 (02:30):
Anyway, the idea of fine water isn't new, but it's
becoming a lot trendier, especially because people are drinking less
alcohol than they used to.

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Plus some people.

Speaker 1 (02:39):
Are even converting their old wine cellars into water cellars.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Cawn, Now, I don't know about that.

Speaker 1 (02:45):
This next lazer stories out of trend towns. I have
a question for the room. Would you be four or
against showers with grandma?

Speaker 2 (02:54):
I've fallen and I can get aft.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Not like for fun, he needed help in the shower.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
At this point. It showers with my mom.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
I mean, how old are we are we adults when
we're doing this?

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Okay, it's just a simple question. You don't need that
much because it might not be what you're thinking.

Speaker 1 (03:13):
Apparently there's a new trend of baby showers for the grandparents,
for the new grandparents.

Speaker 3 (03:22):
Okay, we're not actually getting naked with our grandparents. This
is a present party.

Speaker 1 (03:26):
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this is about giving
gifts to grandparents for an incoming baby. Oh man, there's
plenty of websites where you can find that other stuff
that you want.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
So why is this a thing?

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Some people say grandma showers are a heartwarming way to
honor a.

Speaker 2 (03:42):
New chapter in life.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Others say it's inappropriate and even a little narcissistic. In fact,
some people believe a grandma shower shifts the focus away
from the actual parents.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Yeah I was pregnant, My mom would have a shower.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Yeah, yes, Yeah, which feels like you're I'm showing up
in a white dress to your wedding.

Speaker 2 (04:02):
Yeah, I think she might do both things.

Speaker 1 (04:04):
A bigger issue could be that this is yet another
party that friends and relatives might feel obligated to attend
with a gift.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
Give the grandma, gift the mom again, they'll do free
baby might be trade off.

Speaker 2 (04:18):
Yeah, you got to live close to them, the trade off.
Let's be honest.

Speaker 1 (04:23):
Some are feeling gifted out by all of these new
celebrations that are popping up, especially since many people treat
showers as a way to help first time parents with
the onslaught of extra expenses.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah you're not even supposed to have a shower if
it's your second or third baby.

Speaker 2 (04:38):
Yeah you can have that, really.

Speaker 3 (04:40):
Yeah, you can have a sprinkle is what they're called. Now,
we're not asking for expensive gifts, but maybe people give
some cute clothes or some books or whatever.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
Right, all right, Well, regardless, this is happening Grandma showers
are a real thing and it's trending.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
Okay, this next laser story is out of film land.

Speaker 3 (05:00):
That's fun.

Speaker 1 (05:00):
Moviegoers at AMC theaters are in for a rude awakening
starting next month. A few commercials and coming attractions before
a movie begins, that's pretty much expected.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Yeah, but soon enough.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
AMC will be delaying the start times of movies even more.
There and I went thirty minutes after a set of
a start and I still had start.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
So where will the added commercial or commercials go right
before the movie begins? Oh?

Speaker 2 (05:29):
I thought you're going to say, right right in the middle.

Speaker 3 (05:32):
I mean they're going to start having intermissions with commercials,
so right.

Speaker 1 (05:36):
And this is like right before it says feature presentation,
and the advertiser will pay AMC a premium for that
starting time.

Speaker 2 (05:44):
Dude, it's not like this.

Speaker 3 (05:46):
The theaters are swimming in cash man. You know, nobody's
going like they have to do something.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
So, as you can imagine, people aren't happy about this.
The folks on Twitter went off, oh you.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Crazy, because usually people of Twitter are so positive.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
One said, I show up to every movie thirty minutes
after the start time. It's always exactly as the movie
is beginning.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
But now what time should I show up?

Speaker 1 (06:13):
Forty five minutes early, an hour early, three days early,
so that.

Speaker 3 (06:21):
Probably I don't mind going early and sitting through all
the odds. The only the only problem is my snacks
are over by the time starts. That's my issue.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
You're already sleep.

Speaker 3 (06:32):
I just need like a little like bloop up on
the screen that says, go buy them now.

Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah. So when you book your next ticket online, make
sure you budget in plenty of extra time for those
extra commercials because that's starting on July first.

Speaker 2 (06:46):
Oh boy, right, all the summer is Yeah.

Speaker 1 (06:48):
Your final laser story is out of word worlds. You
ever heard an uncommon word that catches your attention because
it sounds like something naughty, Yeah, but it's actually totally innocent.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yeah, what do you got jo?

Speaker 1 (07:02):
A new study was done and it found the top
words that sound somewhat erotic but aren't. And here's the
top ones, along with their actual meanings. Number three dongle.

Speaker 2 (07:12):
And you're like, shut up. What is a dongle?

Speaker 1 (07:16):
That's any device that can be plugged into a hardware
port on a computer, plug the hardware.

Speaker 2 (07:24):
We're really going to struggle to get through these.

Speaker 1 (07:26):
Number two gesticulated that means to make or use hand gestures,
especially in an animated manner. Jose gesticulates in front of
us all the time.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
Is gesticulating.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
Now I know what I'm saying. And the number one
word that sounds a little racy but really isn't is uvula. Yeah,
that's just the little fleshy hanging ball in the back
of your throat.

Speaker 2 (07:56):
There you go.

Speaker 1 (07:56):
You learn a little bit today about good words that
sound bad, and now you can know about some bad
sounds that feel oh so good. Oh, this guy is
playing with the uvula inside of a Converse sneaker and
he is loving every single minute of it.

Speaker 2 (08:13):
That sounds look at that's exactly what he's doing.

Speaker 1 (08:18):
It means Laser Stories has come to an end for
the day.

Speaker 2 (08:20):
We'll do it same time on Friday, Brooke

Speaker 3 (08:23):
And Jeffrey in the morning.
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Hosts And Creators

Brooke Fox

Brooke Fox

Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow

Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow

Alexis Fuller

Alexis Fuller

Jose Bolanos

Jose Bolanos

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