June 30, 2025 • 8 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that really regrets hosting a DIY
locksmith workshop at the local prison. Wait a minute, the
good news. Good news is it was a full house.
A lot of inmates showed up for bad news. Not
sure where they are now, probably listening to laser Stories. Weird,
(00:25):
the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other jail fails just don't. This first laser story
is out of Florida. Twenty eight year old deputy named
Justin Register from the Pope County Sheriff's Office pulled over
a driver the other day and during the traffic stop,
he found out the guy did not have a valid license. Hey,
(00:48):
nobody in, So Officer Justin took the guy's wallet and
phone put it in his patrol car's trunk for whatever reason.
Why is phone?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
The weird part is deaf putting it in the trunk.
You're not supposed to do that. Two other cops showed
up and saw Justin keep returning to the car's trunk
multiple times. Eventually he gave back the guy's belongings, but
the driver said he was missing three hundred dollars in cash.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Not shocking there.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Everyone started looking for it, and that's when Officer Justin
went back to the trunk, opened up his equipment bag,
and pulled out some folded money and said, oh.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Oh, here it is.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Money always falls out when I set my wallet down.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
It was obvious enough that the other cops immediately reported
it to their supervisor. In a statement, the lead sheriff said,
it makes me so angry. I could chew the bark
off a group of oak trees.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Very you guys are in your daily lingo.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
He was not happy.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
He's like a beaver man.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I'm Justin. Was arrested for theft, and the sheriff says
he would have been fired if he didn't resign first.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Oh I was gonna say, wait, he wasn't fired.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think they give him all The opportunity got ahead
of it. So the department also said all of the
cops previous arrests and traffic stops are now being audited.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Oh geez.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
This next lazer stories out of New Jersey. Eighteen year
old lifeguard named Alex Blythe was overseeing a normal day
at the beach when the unthinkable happened out of nowhere.
A strong wind came up and was able to dislodge
one of the beach umbrellas, which flew through the air
and went right into her armpit and out her back. Oh,
(02:41):
pierced through her armpit, came out the backside.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
She was paled umbrella.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That was exactly what Alex remembers thinking. She thought, did
I just get him paled by a beach umbrella?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I thought I was supposed to worry about like people
drowning at this job.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Keep your eyes UPA goers present at the scene freaked
out and called nine one one man. When firefighters showed up,
they couldn't fit her in the ambulance.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Because those things are shoes.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
So they had to take a handsaw and cut both
ends of the umbrella just so she could fit.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
This is why I can I don't use those umbrellas.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Meanwhile, a guy named Justin offered to hold her wallet
and phone for her car just in case. But Alex
was awake for the entire ordeal, and the battalion chief
said she seemed a lot better off than I would
have been, calling her tougher than all that. He called
her one tough young woman. Yeah, doctors were able to
remove the umbrella and noted it was less than an
(03:40):
inch away from a major artery.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
How she's lucky, you know the owners like you ruined
my umbrella.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm getting it refined. Good news is she will make
a full recovery. But authorities use this as a chance
to remind beach goers to make sure their umbrellas are
secure down in the sand and to always carry them
with the point down.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah. You know what, that's a reminder for me.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Didn't know that could happen.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Yeah, it's like a new fear of locks. Think about that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
That's what we do on the show.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
This's like a final destination story.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Your next laser story is out of China. We reported
on this about a year ago, but looks like it's
becoming a real thing. Researchers announced they perfected a new
way to treat sinus infections where instead of antibiotics, you'll
just shoot a tiny army of robots up into your nose. Yep.
(04:34):
It's the latest in nanobot technology. Or technically they're microbots
because they're still big enough to see under a normal microscope,
but they're smaller than a Speca dust way thinner than
a human hair and their program to wipe out bacteria.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
What if gets lost up there? Like do you with
your mouse?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Do you like shoot them out of your nostril? And
then you're like, wait, I'm missing one.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
This is a really different story than Wally.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It's not clear how many they have to shoot up
into your nose. The scientists just called it a swarm.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh, this is the magic school bus. This is literally
what we wash.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
His carr, Miss Frizzle. They tested them on animals and
say they could be approved to treat sciinus and bladder
affections in humans in the next year.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
That would be amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
They're still figuring out how to make sure they can
get them all out of your body once you're done,
but they're hoping they'll just all come out when you
blow your nose.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Sounds very expensive.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah. The other big concern is whether we'll be willing
to actually shoot robots up into our noses.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
We're pretty willing to shoot everything up our noses.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, I believe in science, Jeff, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The conspiracy crowd is going to claim Bill Gates wants
to control your thoughts with the tiny robots, which he does,
so I believe it. Let's go to your next laser story.
Out of vacaviill. People like to joke about needing a
vacation in order to recover from their vacation.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yes, seriously, but if.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
You're traveling with family, it's actual real thing.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Oh that's good to know. I feel exhausted by the
end of a family diacation.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You're not alone, brook. According to a new report, it
takes parents two and a half days to recover from
traveling with their children.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
If you're doing something like going to Disney with the
family is so stressful, you know, like everyone's talking, what's this,
what's that? Tony moving parts?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And specifically it's two point four days, which is two days,
nine hours, and thirty six minutes for exhausted parents, all
that time might really matter.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I can't wait till I hit that thirty seventh minute,
ready to go again.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
If you're traveling with kids, the key is to not
make things harder on yourself. Yes, thirty percent of parents
say bribing children with treats spare game, twenty eight percent
said buying toys mid trip helps yeah, and twenty six
percent resort to unlimited screen time.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
We just drop our expectations of what we're actually going
to get done that.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I don't know why I thought you were going to say,
drop your pants. For some reason, we duran.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Family picture time.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Kids let all the stress out. It's all bundled up
right in this area.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
More than half a parent's say they bring along some
kind of audio player to entertain kids with music or
storytelling and soundscapes. Maybe people playing whale sounds calms your
kids down.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Some people can't sleep without those, like some kids can't
sleep without those white noises. Oh my god, I had
to sleep in the same room as my best friend's kids,
and I almost threw it out the window, like it
is so loud.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They say, if possible, try to find things that can
be calming, not something annoying or overly repetitive that can
raise your tension or stress levels. You know. Okay, what
does this little guy do to calm his nerves post
Vaca the Eiffel Towers, a pair of kids.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
He takes his face off too.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well, I don't even know what that means. I've just
read that off of one of his instant stories. So
some turtles. Okay, I'd love somebody to explain. But that
sound means Laser Stories has come to an end for
the day. We'll do it again, same time on WHENESA
day
It's the radio segment that really regrets hosting a DIY
locksmith workshop at the local prison. Wait a minute, the
good news. Good news is it was a full house.
A lot of inmates showed up for bad news. Not
sure where they are now, probably listening to laser Stories. Weird,
(00:25):
the segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,
just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.
Those other jail fails just don't. This first laser story
is out of Florida. Twenty eight year old deputy named
Justin Register from the Pope County Sheriff's Office pulled over
a driver the other day and during the traffic stop,
he found out the guy did not have a valid license. Hey,
(00:48):
nobody in, So Officer Justin took the guy's wallet and
phone put it in his patrol car's trunk for whatever reason.
Why is phone?
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Yeah, that's weird.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
The weird part is deaf putting it in the trunk.
You're not supposed to do that. Two other cops showed
up and saw Justin keep returning to the car's trunk
multiple times. Eventually he gave back the guy's belongings, but
the driver said he was missing three hundred dollars in cash.
Speaker 3 (01:18):
Not shocking there.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Everyone started looking for it, and that's when Officer Justin
went back to the trunk, opened up his equipment bag,
and pulled out some folded money and said, oh.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Oh, here it is.
Speaker 3 (01:32):
Money always falls out when I set my wallet down.
Speaker 1 (01:36):
It was obvious enough that the other cops immediately reported
it to their supervisor. In a statement, the lead sheriff said,
it makes me so angry. I could chew the bark
off a group of oak trees.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Very you guys are in your daily lingo.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
He was not happy.
Speaker 3 (01:58):
He's like a beaver man.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
I'm Justin. Was arrested for theft, and the sheriff says
he would have been fired if he didn't resign first.
Speaker 3 (02:06):
Oh I was gonna say, wait, he wasn't fired.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
I think they give him all The opportunity got ahead
of it. So the department also said all of the
cops previous arrests and traffic stops are now being audited.
Speaker 3 (02:17):
Oh geez.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
This next lazer stories out of New Jersey. Eighteen year
old lifeguard named Alex Blythe was overseeing a normal day
at the beach when the unthinkable happened out of nowhere.
A strong wind came up and was able to dislodge
one of the beach umbrellas, which flew through the air
and went right into her armpit and out her back. Oh,
(02:41):
pierced through her armpit, came out the backside.
Speaker 3 (02:45):
She was paled umbrella.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
That was exactly what Alex remembers thinking. She thought, did
I just get him paled by a beach umbrella?
Speaker 3 (02:54):
I thought I was supposed to worry about like people
drowning at this job.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
Keep your eyes UPA goers present at the scene freaked
out and called nine one one man. When firefighters showed up,
they couldn't fit her in the ambulance.
Speaker 3 (03:07):
Because those things are shoes.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
So they had to take a handsaw and cut both
ends of the umbrella just so she could fit.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
This is why I can I don't use those umbrellas.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Meanwhile, a guy named Justin offered to hold her wallet
and phone for her car just in case. But Alex
was awake for the entire ordeal, and the battalion chief
said she seemed a lot better off than I would
have been, calling her tougher than all that. He called
her one tough young woman. Yeah, doctors were able to
remove the umbrella and noted it was less than an
(03:40):
inch away from a major artery.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
How she's lucky, you know the owners like you ruined
my umbrella.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I'm getting it refined. Good news is she will make
a full recovery. But authorities use this as a chance
to remind beach goers to make sure their umbrellas are
secure down in the sand and to always carry them
with the point down.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Yeah. You know what, that's a reminder for me.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
Didn't know that could happen.
Speaker 3 (04:05):
Yeah, it's like a new fear of locks. Think about that.
Speaker 1 (04:10):
That's what we do on the show.
Speaker 2 (04:11):
This's like a final destination story.
Speaker 1 (04:13):
Your next laser story is out of China. We reported
on this about a year ago, but looks like it's
becoming a real thing. Researchers announced they perfected a new
way to treat sinus infections where instead of antibiotics, you'll
just shoot a tiny army of robots up into your nose. Yep.
(04:34):
It's the latest in nanobot technology. Or technically they're microbots
because they're still big enough to see under a normal microscope,
but they're smaller than a Speca dust way thinner than
a human hair and their program to wipe out bacteria.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
What if gets lost up there? Like do you with
your mouse?
Speaker 2 (04:54):
Do you like shoot them out of your nostril? And
then you're like, wait, I'm missing one.
Speaker 3 (04:57):
This is a really different story than Wally.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
It's not clear how many they have to shoot up
into your nose. The scientists just called it a swarm.
Speaker 2 (05:05):
Oh, this is the magic school bus. This is literally
what we wash.
Speaker 1 (05:09):
His carr, Miss Frizzle. They tested them on animals and
say they could be approved to treat sciinus and bladder
affections in humans in the next year.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
That would be amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
They're still figuring out how to make sure they can
get them all out of your body once you're done,
but they're hoping they'll just all come out when you
blow your nose.
Speaker 3 (05:27):
Sounds very expensive.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
Yeah. The other big concern is whether we'll be willing
to actually shoot robots up into our noses.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
We're pretty willing to shoot everything up our noses.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, I believe in science, Jeff, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
The conspiracy crowd is going to claim Bill Gates wants
to control your thoughts with the tiny robots, which he does,
so I believe it. Let's go to your next laser story.
Out of vacaviill. People like to joke about needing a
vacation in order to recover from their vacation.
Speaker 3 (05:56):
Yes, seriously, but if.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
You're traveling with family, it's actual real thing.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Oh that's good to know. I feel exhausted by the
end of a family diacation.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
You're not alone, brook. According to a new report, it
takes parents two and a half days to recover from
traveling with their children.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
If you're doing something like going to Disney with the
family is so stressful, you know, like everyone's talking, what's this,
what's that? Tony moving parts?
Speaker 1 (06:20):
And specifically it's two point four days, which is two days,
nine hours, and thirty six minutes for exhausted parents, all
that time might really matter.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
I can't wait till I hit that thirty seventh minute,
ready to go again.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
If you're traveling with kids, the key is to not
make things harder on yourself. Yes, thirty percent of parents
say bribing children with treats spare game, twenty eight percent
said buying toys mid trip helps yeah, and twenty six
percent resort to unlimited screen time.
Speaker 3 (06:51):
We just drop our expectations of what we're actually going
to get done that.
Speaker 1 (06:55):
I don't know why I thought you were going to say,
drop your pants. For some reason, we duran.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Family picture time.
Speaker 3 (07:01):
Kids let all the stress out. It's all bundled up
right in this area.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
More than half a parent's say they bring along some
kind of audio player to entertain kids with music or
storytelling and soundscapes. Maybe people playing whale sounds calms your
kids down.
Speaker 3 (07:17):
Some people can't sleep without those, like some kids can't
sleep without those white noises. Oh my god, I had
to sleep in the same room as my best friend's kids,
and I almost threw it out the window, like it
is so loud.
Speaker 1 (07:29):
They say, if possible, try to find things that can
be calming, not something annoying or overly repetitive that can
raise your tension or stress levels. You know. Okay, what
does this little guy do to calm his nerves post
Vaca the Eiffel Towers, a pair of kids.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
He takes his face off too.
Speaker 1 (07:47):
Well, I don't even know what that means. I've just
read that off of one of his instant stories. So
some turtles. Okay, I'd love somebody to explain. But that
sound means Laser Stories has come to an end for
the day. We'll do it again, same time on WHENESA
day
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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