July 11, 2025 • 7 mins
Weird news stories from around the world… with a healthy dose of lasers added in. Does it make sense? No not really, but it doesn’t HAVE TO… it’s Laser Stories!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
It's the radio segment that's trying to inject some new
life back into the state fairs across the country.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Pie eating contests.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Out what's in uncooked spaghetti eatoffs?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just so crunching you're dunking.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Just imagine ten pounds of dry noodles on a plate
in front of.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You with a three hour clock ready, go crunching into them.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Who will be crowned the uncooked noodle King and Queen
of this man find out after Laser Stories, a segment
where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those
other RIGATONI jabronis just don't. This first laser story is
out of Humboldt County, California. Fifty nine year old guy
named Todd Popper was driving up a windy road on
(00:55):
the outskirts of town when out of nowhere, a full
grown black bear appy my gosh, yeah, Tod, do you
say still in his car.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Stop?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Todd didn't have time to react, or swear or avoid it,
so he ended up hitting the bear with the corner.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Of his car.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I swear a bear ran into my car once, and
I was too scared to stop.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was night. I went and looked later and.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It wasn't there, so, oh, it.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Was a mystery.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Landed on my barbecue.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
After that, he slammed on the brakes and noticed that
it wasn't moving. His four hundred pound body was just
leaning motionless against the guard rail.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Todd felt terrible.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
He thought the bear was knocked out or worse, so
he attempted to give it a boost over the concrete
barrier to get it away from the street over.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Call an official.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yea, hearts department, give him melt them out. When he
began to lift it, the bear woke up and mauled. Hell,
oh my god, mald but he deserves that.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Apparently the bear didn't know that Todd was trying to
help because it's a wild animal.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And they haven't gone to school.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
He's got hit by his car.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, yeah, you want to help me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
The bear chomped down on his left forearm multiple times. Luckily,
an off duty EMT was nearby and applied a tourniquet
to Todd's arm and called nine one one. He was
treated at a nearby hospital, but they didn't release the
details on his condition.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
So hopefully he'll be fine. Let's not get out and
try to resuscitate the animals.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
What good news is the bear learned a new trick,
play dead and the food comes to Europe. It's fun
this next Laser stories out of Florida Day. Fifty seven
year old Jonathan Patrick Winslow was driving around Key West
the other day around eleven thirty am beautiful when something
sparked his interest. He immediately got out of his Kia
(03:03):
Sorrento while it was still running, and jumped into the
engineer seat of a popular tourist train. Oh my god, hard.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
He's driving. He's not being passage.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well before officials knew what was happening, Jonathan took off
with the train, screaming with joy that it was his birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's what he said. Anybody around could jump off.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Train.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Over the next twenty minutes, he picked up two random
passengers and had the time of his life.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
However, the joy ride didn't last long, seeing as the
missing train.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Was equipped with GPS.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Cops arrested him, and what did Jonathan have to say
about that? He thanked the officers and told them he
loved them. He then joked about how he wanted to
create some drama and said he was due to watch
a dinosaur movie later that day with his grandson. Unfortunately
(04:07):
for Jonathan, the police had other ideas for him that
afternoon instead of seeing a movie, and they took him
to jail.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Birthday didn't end out so good.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And it wasn't just for the rogue train hacking.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
They also found a meth pipe in Jonathan's pocket, which
he swore.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Was not what they thought it was.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I'm in the uncooked spaghetti eating competition later, I need so.
He now faces charges of burglary, grand theft, auto, and
possession of drug paraphernalia. I wonder how those two people
on the train would rate his performance.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Probably more fun than the normal tourist.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yes, this next laser stories out of the Friendly Skies.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Have you ever walked into an airport and thought.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Wow, I wish this sounded more like an airport to go. No,
if you have, you're in luck because one of the
world's largest airports, Heathrow International in London, just commissioned a
Grammy nominated recording artist to create a soundtrack of only
airport sounds, to be played twenty four to seven throughout
(05:14):
the terminals this summer.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
But the sounds take care of themselves, Jeff, they're already there.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, not at Heathrow because they recently went through a
major renovation in the last few years, installing quieter baggage
claims and overhead speaker announcements were taken away as well.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
That sounds lovely.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Now a lot of people are saying it's too quiet.
It's like walking into a library in there.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, So that's why the new airport soundtrack got created,
and we have a sample from it.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Ooh, let's hear it. Bothers me. I would hear it.
(06:09):
I'd be like, wait, what did she say? Was that
about my games?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah? Yeah, wait if I a.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Confusing But the numbers away from it says, if you
listen long enough, you'll hear everything from baggage belts to
boarding calls and even the sound of kids crying and misbehave.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, it's so nice. I want the remix of No Kids.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Well. Some critics say that added background noise is not
going to help bring down the stress and chaos of travel.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
He Throw disagrees.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I bet they do, saying nothing compares to the excitement
of stepping foot in the airport for the start of
a summer holiday, and this new soundtrack perfectly captures those feelings.
Why don't they just play music, like, why does it
got to be airport music?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Broke?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, but everyone knows sound.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I love when there's a live performer in the air,
and I love it when there's a six year old
crying on the floor.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
We could have both.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
You could start traveling with me then, speaking of the
sounds of stepping feet, Oh, this guy would love.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
To spend a few hours at the airport. I met
near the shoeshine bar, of course. And the Sounds Lazer
story has just come to an end of the day.
We'll do it again, same time on Monday, Brooke
Speaker 3 (07:23):
And Jeffrey in the morning.
It's the radio segment that's trying to inject some new
life back into the state fairs across the country.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Pie eating contests.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Out what's in uncooked spaghetti eatoffs?
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Just so crunching you're dunking.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Just imagine ten pounds of dry noodles on a plate
in front of.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
You with a three hour clock ready, go crunching into them.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Who will be crowned the uncooked noodle King and Queen
of this man find out after Laser Stories, a segment
where we read weird news stories around the globe, just
like everyone else does, except we've got a laser. Those
other RIGATONI jabronis just don't. This first laser story is
out of Humboldt County, California. Fifty nine year old guy
named Todd Popper was driving up a windy road on
(00:55):
the outskirts of town when out of nowhere, a full
grown black bear appy my gosh, yeah, Tod, do you
say still in his car.
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Stop?
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Todd didn't have time to react, or swear or avoid it,
so he ended up hitting the bear with the corner.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
Of his car.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
I swear a bear ran into my car once, and
I was too scared to stop.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
It was night. I went and looked later and.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
It wasn't there, so, oh, it.
Speaker 3 (01:29):
Was a mystery.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
Landed on my barbecue.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
After that, he slammed on the brakes and noticed that
it wasn't moving. His four hundred pound body was just
leaning motionless against the guard rail.
Speaker 2 (01:43):
Todd felt terrible.
Speaker 1 (01:45):
He thought the bear was knocked out or worse, so
he attempted to give it a boost over the concrete
barrier to get it away from the street over.
Speaker 3 (01:55):
Call an official.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
Yea, hearts department, give him melt them out. When he
began to lift it, the bear woke up and mauled. Hell,
oh my god, mald but he deserves that.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Apparently the bear didn't know that Todd was trying to
help because it's a wild animal.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
And they haven't gone to school.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
He's got hit by his car.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah, yeah, you want to help me.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
The bear chomped down on his left forearm multiple times. Luckily,
an off duty EMT was nearby and applied a tourniquet
to Todd's arm and called nine one one. He was
treated at a nearby hospital, but they didn't release the
details on his condition.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
So hopefully he'll be fine. Let's not get out and
try to resuscitate the animals.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
What good news is the bear learned a new trick,
play dead and the food comes to Europe. It's fun
this next Laser stories out of Florida Day. Fifty seven
year old Jonathan Patrick Winslow was driving around Key West
the other day around eleven thirty am beautiful when something
sparked his interest. He immediately got out of his Kia
(03:03):
Sorrento while it was still running, and jumped into the
engineer seat of a popular tourist train. Oh my god, hard.
Speaker 3 (03:15):
He's driving. He's not being passage.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Well before officials knew what was happening, Jonathan took off
with the train, screaming with joy that it was his birthday.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's what he said. Anybody around could jump off.
Speaker 3 (03:33):
Train.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
Over the next twenty minutes, he picked up two random
passengers and had the time of his life.
Speaker 2 (03:39):
Happy birthday.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
However, the joy ride didn't last long, seeing as the
missing train.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
Was equipped with GPS.
Speaker 1 (03:47):
Cops arrested him, and what did Jonathan have to say
about that? He thanked the officers and told them he
loved them. He then joked about how he wanted to
create some drama and said he was due to watch
a dinosaur movie later that day with his grandson. Unfortunately
(04:07):
for Jonathan, the police had other ideas for him that
afternoon instead of seeing a movie, and they took him
to jail.
Speaker 3 (04:17):
Birthday didn't end out so good.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
And it wasn't just for the rogue train hacking.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
They also found a meth pipe in Jonathan's pocket, which
he swore.
Speaker 2 (04:25):
Was not what they thought it was.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
I'm in the uncooked spaghetti eating competition later, I need so.
He now faces charges of burglary, grand theft, auto, and
possession of drug paraphernalia. I wonder how those two people
on the train would rate his performance.
Speaker 3 (04:44):
Probably more fun than the normal tourist.
Speaker 1 (04:45):
Yes, this next laser stories out of the Friendly Skies.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Have you ever walked into an airport and thought.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Wow, I wish this sounded more like an airport to go. No,
if you have, you're in luck because one of the
world's largest airports, Heathrow International in London, just commissioned a
Grammy nominated recording artist to create a soundtrack of only
airport sounds, to be played twenty four to seven throughout
(05:14):
the terminals this summer.
Speaker 3 (05:19):
But the sounds take care of themselves, Jeff, they're already there.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
No, not at Heathrow because they recently went through a
major renovation in the last few years, installing quieter baggage
claims and overhead speaker announcements were taken away as well.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
That sounds lovely.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
Now a lot of people are saying it's too quiet.
It's like walking into a library in there.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
Okay, So that's why the new airport soundtrack got created,
and we have a sample from it.
Speaker 3 (05:46):
Ooh, let's hear it. Bothers me. I would hear it.
(06:09):
I'd be like, wait, what did she say? Was that
about my games?
Speaker 2 (06:11):
Yeah? Yeah, wait if I a.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Confusing But the numbers away from it says, if you
listen long enough, you'll hear everything from baggage belts to
boarding calls and even the sound of kids crying and misbehave.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
Yeah, it's so nice. I want the remix of No Kids.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
Well. Some critics say that added background noise is not
going to help bring down the stress and chaos of travel.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
He Throw disagrees.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
I bet they do, saying nothing compares to the excitement
of stepping foot in the airport for the start of
a summer holiday, and this new soundtrack perfectly captures those feelings.
Why don't they just play music, like, why does it
got to be airport music?
Speaker 3 (06:54):
Broke?
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, but everyone knows sound.
Speaker 1 (06:56):
I love when there's a live performer in the air,
and I love it when there's a six year old
crying on the floor.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
We could have both.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
You could start traveling with me then, speaking of the
sounds of stepping feet, Oh, this guy would love.
Speaker 2 (07:12):
To spend a few hours at the airport. I met
near the shoeshine bar, of course. And the Sounds Lazer
story has just come to an end of the day.
We'll do it again, same time on Monday, Brooke
Speaker 3 (07:23):
And Jeffrey in the morning.
Hosts And Creators
Brooke Fox
Jeffrey "Young Jeffrey" Dubow
Alexis Fuller
Jose Bolanos
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